L5R Lightbulb JokesQ: How many Scorpion does it take to change a lantern wick?L5R Lightbulb Jokes12 years ago in Humor More Like This
A: None, for we walk the dark places of the Empire. We like the dark...wait no, arrgh, Ninjas everywhere, someone give me a wick quickly......noooooo!
Q: How many Dragon does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: See the lady smiles upon us. Watch the snows like lizards. Do you not understand?
Q: How many Phoenix does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: None. We asked Isawa Tsuke to light the last one we changed, and blam, he burns up half the clan while doing so. We're happy with our candle.
Q: How many Unicorn does it take to change a lantern wick?
Unicorn: I can't reach the lantern on my horse.
Me: Get off your horse for once.
Unicorn: Get off my horse? That's impossible...wait a sec! LEGS! I have my own legs!!! I've never used them before! Wow. I'll change that wick.
Q: How many of Toturi's army does take to change a lantern wick?
A: 17 Ronin scum stand around looking at it. Any of them could do it. They're waiting
You've Gone Far EnoughHow many times have you tried, just to put me down,You've Gone Far Enough10 months ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The last time I remember, I was underground.
And even then I rose up, just to challenge the greats.
You might be thinking that your wins are all a part of your fate;
But it's not!
You're a little puppet in the game,
And when you try to take me out, you'll be feeling the strain!
I will be breathing down your neck and it's offense;
No nonsense. I am the Word of Chen, execution commence!
And now you're feeling the pressure, I'll make you suffer;
Your words try to cut me, but you're bleeding your brother!
You don't recognize that I'm the one who paved your way;
And now you're crying, sweating bullets, while you kneel and pray-
I don't find you. You're scared! Your soul is bared,
The only thing that makes us different is the fact that I cared!
But it don't matter now boy! You can laugh and smile,
Because the only thing left is to burn you in a Word of Chen style.
- Chennie, 21st October 2014
Orianna LoL Fanfic Looking Inside Episode 2Orianna LoL Fanfic Looking Inside Episode 23 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
-Who are you? - Orianna's voice was that of a robot, sloppy arrangements of technological sounds that tried to mimic that of a human.
-My daughter Orianna, my name is Corin Reveck and I am your father.(...)
(...) The ball, her companion, her protector, her pet, was always there when she needed it, ever since the day her father gave it to her as her first birthday present.
-Orianna! Where are you my dear? - Corin came up to her room. The room was spectacular, it was a round shape room, with a beautiful wallpaper with a ballet theme, the floor was no exception, it was a beautiful pastel color marble tiles that made the perfect match with the wall papers. On the walls there were a
Daylight's EndDaylight's End3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The Solari marched decisively, heading to the Temple of The Sun. The crimson light of the late dusk reflected on her armor and colored her long curls in a ruby red. Soon, she entered the Temple, and wandered around the familiar corridors. Her steps led her to her final destination, the Main Room.
"Ask not the Sun, why she sets. Why she shrouds her light away. Or why she hides her glowing gaze..." a familiar, yet still captivating, voice echoed in the vast hall. A voice the woman expected to hear.
"When night turns crimson, gold to grey...I knew you would be here, Diana." Leona continued.
The other lady was standing in the middle of the Room. She was also in full armor but hers seemed almost otherworldly, as if it was tainted with blood. into the clear scarlet light of the sunset. Her white hair, a pale white, though blood-stained rose. Her dark eyes were its thorns.
"You still remember the song, Leona?" the fallen Solari asked, but
The Spider and the SpecterThe Spider and the Specter2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Rain poured down, pounding against the earth in a barrage of needle sharp attacks, that, despite the harmless look, would likely be acidic and painful should it ever touch the flesh. It was dark, shrouded in mist and a thick feeling of uneasiness, like every day in the Shadow Isle. The trees glowed a faint blue, like electricity that was dulled, flowing through the branches and providing some sort of light. In the distance, the soft howling and wailing of souls who were being taken in by death echoed through the trees. It was a sound that the ears grew accustomed to after so long. Living here, it became a comforting sound, as if a reminder that the world was in tact. It was there, in that place of darkness and hollow cries of despair, shrouded in thick fog, that the Queen of Spiders called home.
Elise breathed in deeply, the scent, which could not be described by words captured in the English language, was like a glowing blue aura, that flowed through her body and gave her life. It was
League of Legends: Pantheon x LeonaLeague of Legends: Pantheon x Leona2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Pantheon paced back and forth, waiting in the courtyard like he always did. However, something was giving him emotional turmoil, and he didn't appreciate the thought of being made to wait.
...But what if something had happened to her?
Pantheon stopped in his tracks with a sigh. No, it was Leona, and she had tendancies to make it out alright, no matter what. So then, why was she late? He puffed up his chest and let out a sigh. Pantheon was worried. That wasn't something he felt on a regular basis... if ever. And so, the pacing began to commence again.
And as he turned on his heels to head the other way, there she was, radiant, and she wasn't wearing her armour like usual. Pantheon had to take a moment to catch his breath. She had pulled her hair back in a loose bun and was wearing a white t-shirt with loose pants and regular shoes.
"Theo?" Leona grinned as she approached him. He caught glimps of her shoulder then, as well as the side of her face. Both were bandaged. He trailed his eyes
Orianna LoL Fanfic The Journey Episode 2Orianna LoL Fanfic The Journey Episode 23 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Inside the train there was enough space to hold a little town in motion for months. Cafeterias, balconies on top of the wagons, dining halls, children center, magical first aid station and the dormitories where the parts of the train that was 1 kilometer in length.(...)
-Well, I know is not like our home back in Piltover, but I will repair it and restore it. Was part of the deal with the owner, you wouldn't imagine the luck I had getting this house…- Corin looked at everything and sighted –Well, we should get our hands to work, we need to buy the missing furniture and the pieces I need to repair the electricity grid. That and get some people to work on the rest-
-The ball and I will help you, right ball? - Looking at the ball Orianna giggled in her strange voice and so they departed to town.
Freely EnslavedYou poison your mindFreely Enslaved7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
With beliefs, divine
A part of your life
now left behind
You've no common sense
You weave a defense
Of some plan which was made
Without your consent
You justify how you behave
And choose to be, freely, enslaved
Check the cons
Break the bonds
Don't become their pawns
Escape from the hold
Say you won't be sold
No more messed up stories
From the days of old
Maybe it's time to misbehave
Show them you won't be freely enslaved
the last four yearsI tried to read between your linesthe last four years2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when you didn't know how to be subversive.
I wasn't socialized like this;
honesty isn't in the nature of my storytelling,
reality blurred into concepts and
spit back in too many words,
so I'm sorry I misunderstood
everything about you,
and I'm sorry it took me this long
Akali and ShenAkali looks over the piece of paper with a sigh. How could things go this far? How could things get so out of hand? She knew it wasn't right, but she'd let it run it's course, and now things were becoming real. They were becoming difficult to deal with, even. She'd never backed down when faced with a challenge, and she wouldn't now, but in the back of her mind, she was aware that she could have single-handedly prevented the whole thing with just a simple 'no, thank you'. But no; she had to be curious, she had to push things a step further, and she'd ended up here, with a piece of paper in her hand orders to meet with the head of the Kinkou immediately.Akali and Shen4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
As much as she attempted to deny it, the girl knew exactly what it was about. She could make up excuses as to why he wanted to meet with her all day and probably well into the night, but they would hold no water over the one thing that stuck out in her mind: she'd been seen, trapped in an intimate kiss with a man who'd worked alon
Simon SaysSimon Says3 years ago in Drama More Like This
I never thought I would be afraid of Mr. Simon.
"Take her, Abadeer. Take her far, far away from here."
But I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of the him that wasn't him.
"Keep her safe."
Me and Hambo got along alright, though.
"I'll cause her nothing but pain if she stays."
Who knew it could be so hard to forgive someone for something they can't control?
The Blade's Retribution The assassin rushed to emerge into the shadows of the dark alley.The Blade's Retribution3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Dammit" she whispered and wiped the bloody scratch on her face while removing crimson hair strands to improve her vision. Her narrowed eyes made her scar stand out even more. Not detecting her enemy's silhouette through the blackness she took a moment to lean against the wall. She groaned in pain as she removed a black arrow stuck in the flesh of her thigh. As she pressed her palm onto her waist, the pain was renewed and her hand was painted with her own blood.
"Dammit" she swore again. Sound of footsteps made her grab her only weaponry, a pair of daggers tied with thongs onto her back. Having calculated the approximate position of the one who hunted her down she followed her instincts deeper into the Noxian underworld.
"You can't run forever" a voice echoed from a small distance behind. A calm, concentrated voice, slightly sadistic... It was obvious that he enjoyed the chase.
The S WordTheres a reason sin and crime dont mean the same thing. Sinning is not wrong, some sin is natural and good (but not all thats natural is good, hence dome crimes.) Homosexuality, a sin in your typical religion, happens outside the human species, hurts no one, and does good for those who prefer it; its not a crime because that would be stupid. Doubt, a keystone sin in any worthwhile religion, is not a crime because that would be dangerous; believe everything authorities say and see how far that gets you. Wealth, viewed as a sin by a share of religions, is not a crime because of the nonsense of such a ridiculous claim. Incentives, i.e. wealth, cause productivity, enhancement, and advancement. Sins are not crimes because sin was designed to oppress, crimes were defined to protect.The S Word6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
UMvC3 Fan Moveset: Jin KazamaUMvC3 Fan Moveset: Jin Kazama3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Martial Artist, Head of the Mishima Zaibatsu, Adventurer, Former High School Student
Born as a part of Kazama and Mishima families, losing his mother, defeating a "Fighting God" alien, betrayed by his grandfather, suffered by a cursed Devil Gene and defeating his great-grandfather. Jin is now one of the most powerful and fearful fighter around the world after taking over Mishima Zaibatsu. Another one is his father who led the G-Corporation, Mishima Zaibatsu's rival company. He led the Zaibatsu by using using the Tekken Force army, in-order to find a cure himself from the curse. He starting a war with the G-Corp and had no other choice but accidentally killing and injuring the innocence live, the only way to lure an Egyptian God of Destruction to being free from the curse. He maybe save the world, but after defeating the Egyptian god didn't break him free from the curse. Thus, Jin's conquest to find a cure from
InsaneIm out of my mind.Insane6 years ago in Open More Like This
I am neurotic.
I have ADHD.
I am compulsive.
I am manic at times.
I am depressive at times.
I am clearly antisocial.
I talk to myself when Im alone, as if to someone who is not there.
I hoard things.
I am always louder than I need to be.
But what really makes me crazy,
I think for myself.
Katarina x Talon Fanfic League Of LegendsWalking down the streets in Noxus can be frustrating sometimes, people always trying to assassinate me, for what reason? I'm just an ordinary person with the licence to kill, what could I have done to make all these people want me dead? Oh, that's right. I'm a Du Couteau, one of the most blood-thirsting, battle-greedy households in all of Runeterra. We kill with precision and grace, we assassinate without a second thought or hesitation. We certainly do not let emotions get in the way of our missions. My name is Katarina, The Sinister Blade. Daughter to the prominent Noxian General Du Couteau. I was trained by the highest ranking assassins in all of Noxus, my Father standing at number one. I lusted for battle from a young age and it was not long until I requested my Father for a mission and I am here to tell you exactly what that mission was...Katarina x Talon Fanfic League Of Legends3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I walk steady, breathing sharp as I clench my knives by my sides tightly. I was assigned to assassinate Talon, The Blade's Shadow. I knew assass
Don't Save MeAs an atheist, I see things all the time, telling me about this god or that god, religion fueled attacks, racist cults, harassment at military funerals, and bigotry. Some call me hopeless, immoral, an infidel, an antichrist, the devil, blind, and countless other derogatory names. I'm told I'll burn in hell, that good deeds alone won't get me into paradise, and if I don't repent for my blasphemy, I am doomed to suffer. As a religious person (hypothetically) you see a moral obligation to convert me before it's too late.Don't Save Me7 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
People ask me how I can be moral if there is no god? My reply: love; empathy; individuals of all cultures, but their words, not their god(s)'; logic; in short, I'm moral because it's what I think is right. Why do you follow the rules if life is meaningless? I disagree, there is still a meaning, to better the world for the future, to inspire, to motivate, to include, to unite. Here lies my problem with religion: it divides, and unnecessarily so, it, at times, tries to free
The Meaning Of LifeOne of the grandest and most difficult questions that we humans can ask is this: what is the meaning of our lives? Why are we here, for what purpose, and to what end? The answer is not a simple one. Over the course of human existence, there have been a number of attempts to answer the question. Some of them have great sway over human society and politics, such as religion and love. Some of them are even dishearteningthat there may be a total lack of meaning, for example. But all of these ideas lead into a much grander concept: they light the way towards the truth even though they do not explicitly reveal it.The Meaning Of Life7 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
1. Why Ask Why?
It seems evident that before we can ask the question what is the meaning of life? we must first examine the question itself. Is it a valid, coherent question, or a mere waste of time? Can we gain no real answers from asking such a question? Ayer sees the question as indeed being an incoherent one, with no possible answer. You cant ask
League of Legends Chapter 2League of Legends Chapter 24 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
League of Legends
Clash of Fates
Note: The following is a non-profit, fan-based creation. League of Legends and
any links towards it's lore, art and champions mentioned in the story
are registered trademarks of RIOT Games.Inc. Please support the official release. All links are towards lore of champions and origins of the league that connect with the story.
Chapter 2 : Beginning
I was not sure what Poppy wanted from me, a highly honored and respected champion of the league of legends wanting something from a newbie freshman summoner like me
-Excuse me miss Poppy
I couldn't help myself without asking
-Why have you come to see me and take me to ?
-For you're summoner registration.
-For my registration?
-Yes, isn't that why you came here in the first place Rowan?
-Well yes of course but why are you aiding me Miss Poppy? I don't see the rest of the summoners having a noble and high respected champion of the institute of war helping them regi
League of Legends: Your Support ValentineI’ll shield you like Shen, when times are toughLeague of Legends: Your Support Valentine3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’ll heal you like Soraka, when your hearts had enough
I’ll revive you like Zilean, when the worlds too much
I’ll protect you like Kayle, invincible thanks to your touch
I’ll pull you like Blitzcrank, straight into my arms
I’ll stun you like Taric, with my magic charms
I’ll be your support, till my last breath
Always and forever, even after death
Les aventures du pyrobarbare - Episode 3Le bruit de la bataille s’était soudainement atténué. Ce n’était pas simplement dû à la maigre isolation sonore qu’offraient les épaisses briques du fort. Le vacarme s’était réellement dissipé, et un silence pesant régnait désormais. Le sol de pierre ne tremblait plus, et Bob pouvait enfin respirer correctement. D’une inspiration, il remplit ses poumons d’un air certes renfermé, mais chaleureux et presque agréable. Dans la cheminée de la salle brûlait un feu qui, pour la première fois, ne désirait pas consumer tout ce qui était à sa portée. Et sur les tables, quelques restes de nourriture, laissés là par les soldats, sans doute lorsqu’ils durent sortir en urgence faire face à leur destin funeste.Les aventures du pyrobarbare - Episode 32 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Le soldat l’avait accompagné, après l’avoir sauvé.
« On dirait bien que nous sommes les seuls à en être sortis. » dit-il.
Bob le regarda un instant dans les yeux. Sèchement, il lui répondit. « Et toi, t’es pas sensé aller mourir au c