L5R Lightbulb JokesQ: How many Scorpion does it take to change a lantern wick?L5R Lightbulb Jokes11 years ago in Humor More Like This
A: None, for we walk the dark places of the Empire. We like the dark...wait no, arrgh, Ninjas everywhere, someone give me a wick quickly......noooooo!
Q: How many Dragon does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: See the lady smiles upon us. Watch the snows like lizards. Do you not understand?
Q: How many Phoenix does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: None. We asked Isawa Tsuke to light the last one we changed, and blam, he burns up half the clan while doing so. We're happy with our candle.
Q: How many Unicorn does it take to change a lantern wick?
Unicorn: I can't reach the lantern on my horse.
Me: Get off your horse for once.
Unicorn: Get off my horse? That's impossible...wait a sec! LEGS! I have my own legs!!! I've never used them before! Wow. I'll change that wick.
Q: How many of Toturi's army does take to change a lantern wick?
A: 17 Ronin scum stand around looking at it. Any of them could do it. They're waiting
Orianna LoL Fanfic Looking Inside Episode 2Orianna LoL Fanfic Looking Inside Episode 23 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
-Who are you? - Orianna's voice was that of a robot, sloppy arrangements of technological sounds that tried to mimic that of a human.
-My daughter Orianna, my name is Corin Reveck and I am your father.(...)
(...) The ball, her companion, her protector, her pet, was always there when she needed it, ever since the day her father gave it to her as her first birthday present.
-Orianna! Where are you my dear? - Corin came up to her room. The room was spectacular, it was a round shape room, with a beautiful wallpaper with a ballet theme, the floor was no exception, it was a beautiful pastel color marble tiles that made the perfect match with the wall papers. On the walls there were a
League of Legends: Pantheon x LeonaLeague of Legends: Pantheon x Leona2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Pantheon paced back and forth, waiting in the courtyard like he always did. However, something was giving him emotional turmoil, and he didn't appreciate the thought of being made to wait.
...But what if something had happened to her?
Pantheon stopped in his tracks with a sigh. No, it was Leona, and she had tendancies to make it out alright, no matter what. So then, why was she late? He puffed up his chest and let out a sigh. Pantheon was worried. That wasn't something he felt on a regular basis... if ever. And so, the pacing began to commence again.
And as he turned on his heels to head the other way, there she was, radiant, and she wasn't wearing her armour like usual. Pantheon had to take a moment to catch his breath. She had pulled her hair back in a loose bun and was wearing a white t-shirt with loose pants and regular shoes.
"Theo?" Leona grinned as she approached him. He caught glimps of her shoulder then, as well as the side of her face. Both were bandaged. He trailed his eyes
Daylight's EndDaylight's End3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The Solari marched decisively, heading to the Temple of The Sun. The crimson light of the late dusk reflected on her armor and colored her long curls in a ruby red. Soon, she entered the Temple, and wandered around the familiar corridors. Her steps led her to her final destination, the Main Room.
"Ask not the Sun, why she sets. Why she shrouds her light away. Or why she hides her glowing gaze..." a familiar, yet still captivating, voice echoed in the vast hall. A voice the woman expected to hear.
"When night turns crimson, gold to grey...I knew you would be here, Diana." Leona continued.
The other lady was standing in the middle of the Room. She was also in full armor but hers seemed almost otherworldly, as if it was tainted with blood. into the clear scarlet light of the sunset. Her white hair, a pale white, though blood-stained rose. Her dark eyes were its thorns.
"You still remember the song, Leona?" the fallen Solari asked, but
The Spider and the SpecterThe Spider and the Specter2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Rain poured down, pounding against the earth in a barrage of needle sharp attacks, that, despite the harmless look, would likely be acidic and painful should it ever touch the flesh. It was dark, shrouded in mist and a thick feeling of uneasiness, like every day in the Shadow Isle. The trees glowed a faint blue, like electricity that was dulled, flowing through the branches and providing some sort of light. In the distance, the soft howling and wailing of souls who were being taken in by death echoed through the trees. It was a sound that the ears grew accustomed to after so long. Living here, it became a comforting sound, as if a reminder that the world was in tact. It was there, in that place of darkness and hollow cries of despair, shrouded in thick fog, that the Queen of Spiders called home.
Elise breathed in deeply, the scent, which could not be described by words captured in the English language, was like a glowing blue aura, that flowed through her body and gave her life. It was
Orianna LoL Fanfic The Journey Episode 2Orianna LoL Fanfic The Journey Episode 23 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Inside the train there was enough space to hold a little town in motion for months. Cafeterias, balconies on top of the wagons, dining halls, children center, magical first aid station and the dormitories where the parts of the train that was 1 kilometer in length.(...)
-Well, I know is not like our home back in Piltover, but I will repair it and restore it. Was part of the deal with the owner, you wouldn't imagine the luck I had getting this house…- Corin looked at everything and sighted –Well, we should get our hands to work, we need to buy the missing furniture and the pieces I need to repair the electricity grid. That and get some people to work on the rest-
-The ball and I will help you, right ball? - Looking at the ball Orianna giggled in her strange voice and so they departed to town.
Freely EnslavedYou poison your mindFreely Enslaved6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
With beliefs, divine
A part of your life
now left behind
You've no common sense
You weave a defense
Of some plan which was made
Without your consent
You justify how you behave
And choose to be, freely, enslaved
Check the cons
Break the bonds
Don't become their pawns
Escape from the hold
Say you won't be sold
No more messed up stories
From the days of old
Maybe it's time to misbehave
Show them you won't be freely enslaved
Akali and ShenAkali looks over the piece of paper with a sigh. How could things go this far? How could things get so out of hand? She knew it wasn't right, but she'd let it run it's course, and now things were becoming real. They were becoming difficult to deal with, even. She'd never backed down when faced with a challenge, and she wouldn't now, but in the back of her mind, she was aware that she could have single-handedly prevented the whole thing with just a simple 'no, thank you'. But no; she had to be curious, she had to push things a step further, and she'd ended up here, with a piece of paper in her hand orders to meet with the head of the Kinkou immediately.Akali and Shen3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
As much as she attempted to deny it, the girl knew exactly what it was about. She could make up excuses as to why he wanted to meet with her all day and probably well into the night, but they would hold no water over the one thing that stuck out in her mind: she'd been seen, trapped in an intimate kiss with a man who'd worked alon
Simon SaysSimon Says2 years ago in Drama More Like This
I never thought I would be afraid of Mr. Simon.
"Take her, Abadeer. Take her far, far away from here."
But I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of the him that wasn't him.
"Keep her safe."
Me and Hambo got along alright, though.
"I'll cause her nothing but pain if she stays."
Who knew it could be so hard to forgive someone for something they can't control?
The S WordTheres a reason sin and crime dont mean the same thing. Sinning is not wrong, some sin is natural and good (but not all thats natural is good, hence dome crimes.) Homosexuality, a sin in your typical religion, happens outside the human species, hurts no one, and does good for those who prefer it; its not a crime because that would be stupid. Doubt, a keystone sin in any worthwhile religion, is not a crime because that would be dangerous; believe everything authorities say and see how far that gets you. Wealth, viewed as a sin by a share of religions, is not a crime because of the nonsense of such a ridiculous claim. Incentives, i.e. wealth, cause productivity, enhancement, and advancement. Sins are not crimes because sin was designed to oppress, crimes were defined to protect.The S Word6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
InsaneIm out of my mind.Insane6 years ago in Open More Like This
I am neurotic.
I have ADHD.
I am compulsive.
I am manic at times.
I am depressive at times.
I am clearly antisocial.
I talk to myself when Im alone, as if to someone who is not there.
I hoard things.
I am always louder than I need to be.
But what really makes me crazy,
I think for myself.
the last four yearsI tried to read between your linesthe last four years2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when you didn't know how to be subversive.
I wasn't socialized like this;
honesty isn't in the nature of my storytelling,
reality blurred into concepts and
spit back in too many words,
so I'm sorry I misunderstood
everything about you,
and I'm sorry it took me this long
League of Legends Chapter 2League of Legends Chapter 24 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
League of Legends
Clash of Fates
Note: The following is a non-profit, fan-based creation. League of Legends and
any links towards it's lore, art and champions mentioned in the story
are registered trademarks of RIOT Games.Inc. Please support the official release. All links are towards lore of champions and origins of the league that connect with the story.
Chapter 2 : Beginning
I was not sure what Poppy wanted from me, a highly honored and respected champion of the league of legends wanting something from a newbie freshman summoner like me
-Excuse me miss Poppy
I couldn't help myself without asking
-Why have you come to see me and take me to ?
-For you're summoner registration.
-For my registration?
-Yes, isn't that why you came here in the first place Rowan?
-Well yes of course but why are you aiding me Miss Poppy? I don't see the rest of the summoners having a noble and high respected champion of the institute of war helping them regi
Les aventures du pyrobarbare - Episode 3Le bruit de la bataille s’était soudainement atténué. Ce n’était pas simplement dû à la maigre isolation sonore qu’offraient les épaisses briques du fort. Le vacarme s’était réellement dissipé, et un silence pesant régnait désormais. Le sol de pierre ne tremblait plus, et Bob pouvait enfin respirer correctement. D’une inspiration, il remplit ses poumons d’un air certes renfermé, mais chaleureux et presque agréable. Dans la cheminée de la salle brûlait un feu qui, pour la première fois, ne désirait pas consumer tout ce qui était à sa portée. Et sur les tables, quelques restes de nourriture, laissés là par les soldats, sans doute lorsqu’ils durent sortir en urgence faire face à leur destin funeste.Les aventures du pyrobarbare - Episode 32 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Le soldat l’avait accompagné, après l’avoir sauvé.
« On dirait bien que nous sommes les seuls à en être sortis. » dit-il.
Bob le regarda un instant dans les yeux. Sèchement, il lui répondit. « Et toi, t’es pas sensé aller mourir au c
Before Our Time: SmileAge: unknownBefore Our Time: Smile3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Day: Who knows anymore?
My name is Marceline. My father and I are vampires, and I am trying to live through the end of the world. Sounds fun, eh?
The sirens were blaring.
Someone pulled the covers off of her, revealing her terrified face.
"Marceline, come on!" her father yelled over the sirens. He lifted her into his arms and flew out of the house, into the chaos of the street outside. Marceline held tight to him, her arms wrapped firmly around his cold neck.
"The bombs can't hurt us, can they, Daddy?" Marceline looked up, and her father glanced upwards at the sky. It was blood red, with a spattering of black clouds, reminding him painfully of the Nightosphere.
"I don't know, honey," he whispered, "I just don't know."
The safehouse was located in the basement of the castle. It was huge, so everyone had plenty of room. Marceline and her father arrived just as the bombs started falling. The room shook, and the sound of weeping children met their ears
The strings of the battle Demacia was celebrating tonight, an elegant and pompous party was being held on the castle in the name of Jarvan, who just returned victorious from one of his hunts. Everybody was dancing, eating and enjoying the night, except for the prince. Moments like this weren't important to him, there was no glory in such lesser battles that were just held against minor treats to Demcia, nobody in the room except for Garen could understand what he was feeling right now, emptyness in his chest was the only thing he had.The strings of the battle3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Jarvan was sitting on the main part of the room, looking with empty eyes to all the people that only seemed to be enjoying the party but not the meaning of it. Next to him was Garen, who didn't seem to be wanting to join the party with the others.
"They have prepared something special for you tonight, Jarvan" he spoke, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder "I don't know the details but looks like it's some kind of musical performance"
"I just want this to be over
Fiolee Fan Fic. Part Two Chap. SixFiolee Fan Fic. Part Two Chap. Six3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Come back here you coward!" I shrieked, slamming my fists on the ground angrily. Nothing replied. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I searched frantically for that damned Febble in the darkness, and soon gave up, knowing there was no way could find him in time. There wasn't even anything to search behind, or search in, there was only heavy shades of black surrounding my entire body. I felt completely useless as I walked around, knowing none of my powers would grant me freedom from this dark hell.
"What do you want from me?!" I screamed upwards, partly hoping someone, something, would answer. But alas, I only heard silence. That terrible, damned silence. I grabbed onto my head lightly gripping my hair, trying to think of what to do. I felt like I was losing my mind. After everything me and Fionna went through, I was cursed to this place, and she was going to Glob, I can't even think of what will happen to her without gagging.
"Vei muri aici, știi." A soft
Bo tak chce Przeznaczenie [1/5][KOMEDIA] [urban fantasy] [bromance]Bo tak chce Przeznaczenie [1/5]2 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Tym razem mamy do czynienia z tekstem wybitnie i do bólu własnym, dorównującym gniotowatością wcześniejszemu USUKowi. Po prostu naszło mnie, by napisać coś dla czystej przyjemności napisania tego, bo ostatnio chyba zapomniałam, jak to jest pisać for fun, jak to się mówi. Niech zrypane fabuły i głębokie na dziesięć den postaci zaczekają, pierwszeństwo uzyskała płycizna, przewidywalność, debilny humor i nibybajkowość, ale tak naprawdę z Roszpunką ma to stosunkowo niewiele wspólnego. Pod żadnym pozorem nie traktować poważnie.
[Tak, tak, wiem. Nie nadaję się do pisania notek na tylne okładki książek.]
Długie dzieciństwo Desa upływało tak spokojnie, jak tylko spokojnie może upływać długie d
Roundabout Love - RokuShi FanfictionRoundabout Love - RokuShi Fanfiction3 years ago in Humor More Like This
The ever setting sun was descending upon the burg known as Twilight Town. As a particular trinity sat atop their favorite Clock Tower, it was almost easy to believe the sun was emitting a brightness much like the current party's. Though Roxas wasn't sure exactly what had started it, he too was playing the game "let's see how much we can nudge each other before we snap."
Elbows were flying, hands smacking, faces evading; it was a mess. But it was the mess Roxas lived for, and he wouldn't have traded it for all the ice cream in the world. Still, he had to stop their carelessness when Axel's free hand nearly knocked Xion off the Station Tower. Remembering all too well how she'd fallen before, Roxas extended a hand towards her. Thankfully, the situation wasn't as dire as last time, and Roxas's steadying hand was enough to keep the girl safely seated in her spot.
The moment the shock wore off, Roxas' best friend was quick to note Roxas' chivalrous act. "Look, that little
Katarina x Talon Fanfic League Of LegendsWalking down the streets in Noxus can be frustrating sometimes, people always trying to assassinate me, for what reason? I'm just an ordinary person with the licence to kill, what could I have done to make all these people want me dead? Oh, that's right. I'm a Du Couteau, one of the most blood-thirsting, battle-greedy households in all of Runeterra. We kill with precision and grace, we assassinate without a second thought or hesitation. We certainly do not let emotions get in the way of our missions. My name is Katarina, The Sinister Blade. Daughter to the prominent Noxian General Du Couteau. I was trained by the highest ranking assassins in all of Noxus, my Father standing at number one. I lusted for battle from a young age and it was not long until I requested my Father for a mission and I am here to tell you exactly what that mission was...Katarina x Talon Fanfic League Of Legends2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I walk steady, breathing sharp as I clench my knives by my sides tightly. I was assigned to assassinate Talon, The Blade's Shadow. I knew assass
May i hold your hand?May I hold your handMay i hold your hand?5 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Behind our backs, out of sight
So others don't see
Just if you let me
You should have known that I would
Take your lips in mine
Do not shy away
Lean aside from my embrace
Though, I understand
The meaning behind the act
Still, it pains me so
I can see it too
When they glare with such distaste
Watchful eyes leering
Will you walk with me?
Will you let me hold your hand?
Just behind our backs
...If you saw yourself now.Do you remember that time?...If you saw yourself now.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I chopped off the hair of my Barbie doll because you told me it would grow. I remember asking for you to prove it, and you did. You sliced into the hair, brushed it... then (I don't know what you did) I swear the hair was longer, and you gave me enough hope, belief, for me to try it too.
It seems that I was always the follower, always trusting you, always expecting things to turn out ok and when it didn't... on the rare occasions, you were always there. Always there.
Do you remember that time?
We got in so much trouble, but you stood there with that defiant lip of yours jutting out, your hands fisting over from the strain of trying to cross your arms as well, but managing to restrain yourself so that our parents didn't scream at us even more.
...and after that ordeal, you did it all over again as if to prove yourself, and to everyone else, that no one was in charge of your body, mind, soul.
Do you remember that time?
It might take you a
High Fantasy, Low Intelligence Ch. 1Once upon a time, let's say a hundred years ago for a rough estimate, in a land called Frilas that was so far away that nobody could ever possibly reach it, unless they had one hell of a travel agent, was a great and powerful warlock.High Fantasy, Low Intelligence Ch. 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
- (A warlock and not a wizard. While the differences between the two are subtle, they're there. For instance, a warlock usually favors a hood rather than a pointed hat in order to appear both suspicious and stylish without compromising protection from sunlight. For clarity, warlocks in the world of Frilas are essentially evil magic users who disliked the stereotypical image of an old man in robes who practice magic and instead decided to change. Warlocks are now recognized as old men in robes who practice magic except act quite evil whilst doing it)
The warlock lived high in the Bleak Mountains, an inhospitable mountain range to the north of Frilas and it was here that the knight known as Sir Hienmity and his young squire Jim were forced to explore. Sir H