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Decided to draft this up for fun and info.

King Van: Despite his youth, he does honestly try to do the right thing and do his duty as king.

Movie Van aside...

Simon and Nia: Law? Chaos? They can form drills out of sheer badassery, who needs to choose?

Besides, it's an epically cute picture!

Shinji Ikari: He would be Neutral Good if life ever threw the kid a bone. His parents disappear or ditch him, only to demand him to sacrifice his sanity and health to save the world and emotionally hold him hostage until he does what they and NERV wants.

Roger Smith: Actually he'd be on the line between good/neutral lawful because he is a bit like Batman. Though as a Negotiator, he has to be mainly neutral to aid both parties.

Bit Cloud: Good, Bad, He's the guy with a Pet Liger. Honestly, he leans towards good, but he's a sport's pilot and likes to battle.

Seto Kaiba: Think really carefully...does this need to be explained?

LordGenome: Betrays his own spiral fleet, Works to hold down humanity on paranoia of a vision that his enemies showed him, and threw away/attempted to kill his own daughter after doing the same to many others.

Gendo Ikari (Evangelion): Neglectful and Emotionally Manipulative/Abusive Father? Check. Trying to destroy humanity for his own selfish desirs? Check. Sees everyone as a pawn to cast aside when it's no longer needed? Check.

Dilandau (Escaflowne): Every incarnation of this guy is always badshit insane and only cares about burning and killing things. He's like the Joker's Attack Dog.

Template made by ChopSilverBlood: [link]

May make another one upon high demand and for my first time, I think this one came out alright.
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I'm done.

I leap and roll off of the train and watch it crash off a cliff.

Things have become so stupid, convoluted and contrived that I no longer care about how the Naruto series ends. Kishimoto has demonstrated that he doesn't give a damn about story consistency and he's just going to do whatever the hell he wants regardless of if it makes sense.

It's his story, so technically he can do that. But that doesn't mean that he should.

When a writer just ignores their own set rules and starts doing whatever the hell they want, then it shows in the story and weakens it. Things like Deus Ex Machina/Diabolus Ex Machina are employed when the writer writes themselves into a corner with no other way out; Handwaves are meant to direct the audience away from plotholes so that they can "enjoy" the show; or even jump sharking just to get a cheap reaction from the audience.

There's a lot of them, but some are just symptoms of the disease or signals from noise. Stuff like Naruto disregarding Hinata's feelings or confession in favor of Sakura even after the Failfession; Team 7 being old chums again; and the overall disappointment concerning the coming of the Ten-Tail are frustrating to watch, but they're not the core of the problem. To find the core of that problem, I've narrowed all of the problems with the Final Arc down to 12 problems that no doubt demonstrate just how much Kishimoto no longer gives a shit.

Here we go.

1. Sakura's Chakra Seal

In Chapter 632, Sakura busts out a new Chakra Seal that she'd learned from Tsunade and uses it to clobber a bunch of Ten-Tail minions alongside Sasuke and Naruto. The Seal came as a result of Sakura holding back and storing a large amount of chakra within the seal over the past 3 years and unleashing it to increase her strength and healing ability.

Like many fans, I called bullshit on this.

Normally, I would be the first person to be happy that Sakura's finally stepped out of her useless shell and finally decided to show what she could do. But this was just badly explained and badly timed. How the hell could Sakura have mastered the technique in under 3 years when Shizune, someone whose been Tsunade's apprentice since she was a little girl, couldn't even utilize it? I know that Sakura has good chakra control, but this is just pushing it!

And even if we accepted the idea that Sakura was just that much more naturally talented than Shizune and almost on par with Tsunade, then where the hell was this seal before? Why didn't she use it against Sasori where she could've gotten killed? Why didn't she use it the first time that Team 7 tried to retrieve Sasuke? Why didn't she use it to save Asuma or anyone else who got killed during Pain's Invasion? Why didn't she use it to kill or capture the nearly blind, exhausted and drained Sasuke after the Failfession and nearly get killed by him twice in a row? Why is she only using it now when the war is at the tail end of it's conclusion and not earlier against the immortal zombie army that Kabuto was throwing at her friends and comrades?

And no. This is not a "Sakura sucks" line of thought. I've already stated before that I have more of a problem with Sakura's implementation and how untapped Sakura's potential has been throughout the whole series. What I don't like is that this comes out of nowhere and has little to no foreshadowing whatsoever and in hindsight just makes her appear even less capable since I still ask why she didn't do this in the first place.

I'm not gonna spend a lot of time on this point...the bullshit of this Chakra Seal is very self-apparent. 

2. Shinigami Release Mask


Look, I'm certain that the Uzamaki Clan were very good with fuinjutsu, so the idea of having them create a ritual mask that summons the Shinigami and releases the souls within it would be cool. Except...Orochimaru had knowledge of this mask all along.

Why didn't he use it in Part 1?

Seriously! Some of Orochi's best shinobi, the Sound 4, easily infiltrated the village to retrieve Sasuke without being detected until long after they had left. What was stopping Orochimaru from telling the Sound 4 to find the mask and bring it back with them? Why not have Kabuto get the mask and then Orochimaru can release his "soul-arms" from within the mask as well as the souls of four hokage?

Having Orochimaru wait 4 whole years to implement this plan just makes no sense and the lack of his "soul-arms" was a handicap that nearly cost him his life against Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi. What was he waiting for? Then he could've summoned four Edo Kages against a weakened Konoha, destroyed it and still took Sasuke as his body! 


3. Sasuke wanting to be Hokage

Considering all of the character insight that Sasuke has been going through, I guess I can stomach the idea of him turning around and becoming good after Edo Hashirama's Talk-No Jutsu.

Him wanting to become Hokage? Blow me.

Remember people. This is the same guy who knowingly and willingly deserted Konoha and attempted to murder Naruto and Sakura multiple times when they were trying to save him (most of the time). The same guy who declared that he would destroy the village in retaliation for something that only a handful of people were involved in committing. Wanting to cleanse the honor of a clan that was setting up to launch a destructive coup against the village that would've started a ninja war. Even after his zombie brother is telling him not to destroy Konoha and confirms that their clan wasn't such an "innocent" victim, Sasuke still asserts to wanting to nuke the village.

Now he wants to be it's leader.

Think about how little that makes sense.

Think about how everyone is going to laugh in his face if they don't outright slap chains on his limbs and drag him off to Blood Prison.

This is the equivalent of Judas wanting to become the leader of the Early Christians or Benedict Arnold running for President. I don't care how much you've changed for the better, your past record is working against you and for good reason. Sasuke is a deserter and an international criminal who affiliated with a known terrorist organization seeking to destroy the world.

If Sasuke really wants to run his own village, then go out and make one!

4. Team 7's "Reunion"

I'm honestly much more disappointed with Naruto and Sakura concerning Sasuke's return than Sasuke wanting to become Hokage. With all of the shit that Sasuke has put them through, I'm surprised that neither one tried to slug Sasuke in his face. The last time that they'd met, Sasuke had tried to kill Sakura for the crime of hesitating to kill a dying Karin! Naruto had to save his squad-mate from both her own stupidity and from Sasuke's blind rage.

I know that Naruto doesn't want to perpetuate a Cycle of Hatred, but you can't just let Sasuke off the hook.

Think about it! Would you ever trust a guy like Sasuke to have your back? Knowing everything that he's done? Especially the times when he tried to kill you for the crime of trying to stop him from defecting to a pedophile Snake-Charmer? Then he shows, declares that he'll become hokage (which was your life's dream) and you wouldn't at least give this guy a piece of your mind?

Nope! Naruto acts like things are back to the way that they were and Team 7 is reunited and better than ever!


I'm willing to excuse Karin if only on the grounds that she's possibly emotionally damaged and that at least Sasuke apologized to her (assuming that an apology for murder counts). But he doesn't make any apologetic overtures towards Naruto and Sakura. He just shows up and starts expecting everyone to bow before him and kiss his feet. In fact, I'm surprised that no one in the Konoha 9 didn't try to punch out Sasuke.

Forgiveness doesn't mean not holding someone accountable for their actions. If they want forgiveness, they have to work for and want it. And there's nothing that suggests that Sasuke should get any of this from Naruto or Sakura.

5. Generational Theme Forgotten

Remember that great theme about the future generations always surpassing the previous generation?

Throw it out the window.

Because Madara, Hashirama, Minato, Orochimaru, Sarutobi and Tobirama are all leagues above levels that the current generation can ever reach. Hell. The only reason that the Alliance is even having a chance against Tobi and Madara is because the Edo Kages are around to spam their ultra-level jutsu!

This completely de-powers and invalidates any purpose that the rest of the characters had. The entire final arc was, initially, about the ninja world putting aside their scrabbles and differences and coming together against a threat to their world. Villages working together against a common threat, past enemies becoming friends and pooling their strengths together, risking their lives back to back to save their loved one and bringing out the best within each other.

Darui working with Ino and Shikamaru to defeat and seal the Silver/Gold Brothers.

The Hyugas working alongside Iwa and Kumo shinobi to whoop zetsu-ass.

Gaara and Onoki fighting side by side against their predecessors.

The 5 Kage standing together against Madara himself and doing far better than they could've done alone.

The Alliance standing as one against the Ten-Tails and knocking it flat on it's ass again and again and again. Even going as far as to start sharing their thoughts and jutsu with each other.

All of it that goes out the window when the Edo Kages show up and they're pretty much running the entire show. I mean, it's not like the Alliance could possibly beat Madara or Tobito by themselves? Oh wait! Madara is so freaking OP as an Edo Zombie that they need the Edo Kages to stand a chance. You'd think that if they'd succeeded previous generations that they wouldn't need the Edo Kages and that they'd find an interesting and creative way to stop the enemy on their own.


6. Blind/Eyeless Madara using Susanoo

Another brief point, so allow me to explain.

For the 2nd part of the series since Itachi first used Susanoo to survive Sasuke's Kirin, it's been established fact that an MS user requires both eyes to use Susanoo. Something further reinforced by how the susanoo would waver and even disappear if the user's eyesight faded too far. Madara and Sasuke took their brother's eyes for the sheer purpose of getting back their sight and increasing their power. But it still remained an unspoken fact that an Uchiha required both sharingan to use susanoo, I mean that's the only thing that makes sense right?

Then we have the above images.

It's clear that Madara just pulled Susanoo out of his ass because Kishi didn't want the Uber-Uchiha to lose and couldn't think of any other way for Madara to get out of Gaara's seal. It makes no sense! There is now way that you could justify this because Madara doesn't have any damn eyes! He's not just blind, his eyes are not in their sockets!

Self-Explanatory, so moving on.

7. Sage Mode Minato

This should be awesome.

Sage Mode Minato should be awesome.

But it's not here.

It's not awesome because it's brought in during a situation where it wouldn't help anyway since Madara is in god-mode and Minato is just worfed like a chump.

It's also not awesome because it comes out of nowhere and had no previous hints. Particularly that Minato was never seen using Sage techniques in any flashbacks.

And if he became a Perfect Sage before he died, then why didn't he ever use it? Do you realize that this manga would've ended before it started if Minato had gone Sage Mode and just raped Tobi till he split open? Base Minato was already strong enough to waste Tobi and the latter crawled away with his decapitated arm shoved up his ass, so how much more would Tobi had been slammed if Sage Mode Minato was there?

Also considering that Senjutsu dramatically increases the user's physical strength, speed, stamina, reflexes, perception and durability as well as amplifying ninjutsu to become more powerful, Minato likely could've stopped Tobi from extracting the Kyubi which would've saved Kushina's life.

Hell, even 667's "handwave" makes no sense. Minato's Sage Mode is a perfect utilization of senjutsu, but Minato is trying to say that he sucks at senjutsu? Or that he's never used it in an actual fight?

Why the hell not? You're a teleport spammer! What is so hard about teleporting away, meditating to gather some sage energy and then warping back to unleash some ass-kicking no jutsu? Why would you waste time learning a technique that you're never going to use?

Long story short, Kishi should not have given this to Minato if he wasn't going to do so intelligently!

8. Obito is Tobi

How did Obito survive the Giant Rock?

I'm waiting. Go on. Type in a defense for this bullshit.

Even Kishi's own hand-wave doesn't make any sense.

Got one better? I'd love to hear it. I'd also love to hear about just how Obito's right eye remained intact after half of Obito's face was just crushed under several hundred pounds of cold hard stone.

All of my thoughts on that subject can be found here:…

To summarize: Nothing about Obito's survival or his subsequent transformation into Tobi, the main villain of the series, makes any sense and it causes the entire plot to collapse in on itself.

Obito is like the Star-Child of the series, he's literally a walking plot-hole in which everything goes to die. Even his recent "return to the light" is suspect and sounds like terrible writing. Which it is.

9. Madara's Inherently Idiotic Plan

This is also covered in the Tobi Identity Article in Point 8, but it's worth going over here.

Long story short, Madara's plan was to implant his evolved Rinnegan into an Uzamaki orphan who had no way of knowing would live to adulthood, entrust his plans to an emotionally damaged half-crippled Uchiha, have the half-crippled Uchiha have the Uzamaki orphan revive Madara at the cost of his life once all 9 bijuu were captured and stand back and let Madara become the 10-tails Jinchuruki? All without having any way of knowing that said half-crippled Uchiha would follow Madara's plan?

It was a plan asking to fail.

Take out Nagato using the Rinne Tensei to revive Konoha's villagers, take out Tobito reviving an immature 10-Tails and deciding to become it's container himself, take out Kabuto and his Edo Tensei scheme, and Madara's plan makes no sense. There is nothing keeping Tobito from betraying the plan. Not even Black Zetsu would've been able to do jack until Tobito or Nagato were severely weakened and again, they'd have to be alive or Madara's plan is dead on arrival.

Unless someone is stupid enough to actually enable the plan to succeed...oh wait!

10. Minato Stops Kakashi from killing Obito

Yes, the awesome and over-hyped Minato is on this list twice.

Because his single act of mercy has placed his son in danger.

Obito is about to get killed by Kakashi and Minato stops Kakashi and chatises him for wanting to kill a comrade.

A comrade who killed Hiruzen's wife.

A comrade who threatened and tried to kill your newborn son.

A comrade who extracted a 9-tailed Demon from within your wife which pretty much guaranteed that she'd eventually die.

A comrade who summoned said 9-tailed Demon to attack Konoha and kill thousands of civilians and shinobi. A threat so great that you'd have to sacrifice your own life to stop it, seal the demon inside of your son and make him a target for the village's anger and grief.

A comrade who pulled the strings of conflict and death in the ninja world.

A comrade who conspired without a bunch of S-Class shinobi to capture and extract other bijuu at the cost of their host's life. One of said targets, is your grown-up son.

A comrade who sadistically and cruelly killed many shinobi for the crime of protecting their homes.

Why? Because his one-sided boyhood crush died.

And you're stopping him from being lawfully executed for his crimes?


This wouldn't be so bad, except that this decision directly enables Black Zetsu to hijack Obito and revive Madara which directly leads to the Kyubi being extracted from Naruto and his very-nearly certain possible death. Now Madara has been transformed into 10-Tails Sage Madara and he's literally moments away from putting the world under Infinite Hypnosis.

Good job Yondaime. Great job!

11. Story about Ninjas is even less about ninjas

More and more, everyone is getting random power-ups left and right. It's practically like a poorly made imitation of Dragonball Z now.

Edo Madara tanks 5 Kages, gets nearly beaten by Edo Hashirama and Naruto before being revived. Blind Madara stomps Edo Hashirama, pulls a Susanoo out of his ass, plops a Rinnegan into his eye socket and uses it to instantly seal the 9 bijuu into himself (a process that took Akatsuki 3 days) and turns into god-mode 10-Tails Madara.

That's just the worst of it.

Everything from the moment that the 10-Tails showed up has just been a power race. Naruto powers up the Alliance and then powers up himself so that he can power up the alliance more. Sasuke shows up and uses Jugo to power his EMS up even further. Naruto fistbumps Minato for an even greater power-up for himself and for the Alliance. Then Naruto and Sasuke fuse their power together to fight Juubito.

What ever happened to all of that surprise and stealth stuff from earlier in the series?

I don't think I've yet to see anyone pull a genjutsu or throw a knife at either of Obito's eyes. There's no longer any strategy, scheming or planning, it's just a race to power-up until you become powerful enough to match the enemy. Hell! All the alliance actually does with their power-up is just stand by and let Naruto, Sasuke and the Edo-Kages do all of the heavy work. Where were the 5 Kage when Blind Madara appeared? What about the Konoha 9? Lets see Madara face off with a coordinated Ino-Shika-Cho assault or try to fight his way through a thick cloud of chakra eating bugs before getting a heart-bursting palm to his face-chest?

Nope. Instead, everyone's pretty much taken a level in idiocy and this is more about a power-play than an actual fight between ninjas.

If someone jumped in this late, would they even know that this is a show about ninjas?

Yeah! Because when I think of ninjas, I think of power-ups upon power-ups and people standing around while their friends get wasted into oblivion.

12. Too much contrivance ruins cohesion.

The culmination of all of the previous problems and more result in the utter ruination of Naruto's story.

The plot-holes, contrivances, handwaves and other forms of bullshit all build up until this is our end result:

Well, it is better than the Narrative Cohesion for Evangelion Rebuild 3.0.

But it's not good.

Especially since it didn't have to be this way.

This muddled Narrative Cohesion chart was perfectly within Kishimoto's ability to avoid as he does have an overall good grasp on his story, characters and mythos.

He just let little problems build up until it ruined everything else.

The problem with Sakura's chakra seal wouldn't be a problem if we had consistently seen Sakura demonstrating skills worthy of an apprentice of Tsunade. Like having her display a rudimentary version of the seal against Sasori and Sasuke and after some training, she pulls out a super version of that seal that legitimately puts her on Naruto and Sasuke's level.

If flashbacks had shown Minato using Senjutsu or at the very least, learning it, then Perfect Sage Mode Minato wouldn't be such an asspull.

If Reborn Madara had used something other than Susanoo like a Wood Clone or that Wood Dragon to break out of the Shukaku's barrier, I would've thought that was awesome and demonstrates Minato to be a legitimate threat.

If anyone other than Obito had been Tobi, then so many problems that collapse the plot would just vaporize. Like instead of being Obito, how about having Tobi be completely anonymous like with V in V for Vendetta so that fans will continue to speculate until the end of time. I would've respected Kishi a lot more if Tobi was left anonymous.

Instead of Sasuke declaring that he'll be Hokage and everyone becoming old chums again, he gets the bashing that he deserves from the Konoha 9 and they remain cautious of him. Forcing him to have to really show that he's changed and that he has to display that he's truly repented of his past actions and attitude. Even then, Sasuke becoming good would be a lot better if he showed a willingness to pay for his past crimes and work to redeem himself.

Sadly, Kishi seems intent on riding this broken train all the way through to the end. Maybe the ending could be good. But it won't change that he only got to that ending by blatantly breaking and making up his own rules instead of sticking to what he'd started out with from the start. It's cheating and it cheapens a good manga/anime from being a great manga/anime.

Closing Thoughts

So now what?

To reiterate what I'd stated in my Tobi's Identity Essay, you are no longer obligated to this story. Since this final arc's story progression is based on a multitude of contrivances then it has no narrative legitimacy. As Kishimoto his broken his own internal consistency, that means that we the fans are free to pick and choose what we accept as canon and what we don't. You are free to rewrite this final arc or even the entire story as you see fit and you're version of Naruto will be just as valid as Kishimoto's.

Don't get me wrong though. I don't hate Naruto. In fact, despite all of the bullshit that these last arcs have demonstrated, I still really like it's characters and the overall story. I'm just the type of fan who doesn't eat something that looks like crap. Obito's survival, Eyeless Susanoo, Sage Minato and other problems are all splinters beneath the surface and I can't ignore any of the problems or questions that they create. If you're capable of enjoying Naruto despite the mess that it's become, go ahead.

Me? I'll just watch the train crash.

The End.
Thanks for Reading.

Again, remember that I don't hate Naruto. I'm just fed up with how much that a good manga is being pushed into the garbage and how much it's potential is being further ruined with continuous shark-jumping. I've seen plenty of fanfics that had way more entertaining, cohesive and self-consistent finales than the Official Finale that we're in.

In fact, I'm already starting on my own revised version of the entire Naruto story named 
Obu Kindachi Ken Kamigami to fix a lot of ground-up problems that I had with the series. These 12 problems that I have with the Final Arc pretty much all stem from other Ground-up problems that I'd noted in my original Logic's Insight of Naruto.

I won't pretend that it's a masterpiece and it's all more for my own personal entertainment and as a personal challenge than to make a point to Kishimoto.

And here's 10 more reasons why the Final Arc sucks by pikachubuneary: Top 10 OTHER Problems With Naruto's Final Arc
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"Mecha Lord FINAL FUSION!" Unit 01 flexed it's arm as if to psych up it's body. It's AT field changed to a green color and expanded out into a green dome that encompassed the team team and inexplicably repaired the damage to their parts.

Big-O blew out it's pistons as its legs were brought into it's body to form a chest-piece and arms for Eva to fit on.

Liger Zero roared as it combined it's legs together and became a set of legs for Eva to leap into and connect with and allowed Jager's boosters to form into barrels facing forward along the legs.

Escaflowne turned into a draconic shape that wrapped around Eva's waist and melded into the Unit to form into upper legs and lower torso armor complete with a draconic tail.

Gurren Lagann leapt up and landed on the Eva to form flame detailed shoulder plates on Eva's arms and an armor piece that grew down over Eva's exposed back and upper chest. A mass of red spiral energy covered over Eva's head and faded into a red helmet that bore a crescant shaped emblem on the front of the helm that lightly connected with the original horn of Eva.

"Mecha Breaker Lord. Activate!" Born from the flames of manliness, Mecha Lord stood upon the burnt soil of the district. A few feet away, an egotistical multi-billionaire stood by and smiled as his coat-tails of doom were blown by the fumes of power blowing from Mecha Lord.

Commission of Mecha Lord made by MagnozZ:

More of Mecha Lord and Seto Kaiba's Ego can be read here:…
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Might Morphin Mecha Rangers! Profile

featured in: [link]

Mecha: Evangelion Unit-01 "ANIMA"
Pilot: Shinji Ikari
Designer: Mokuba Kaiba
Owner: President Seto Kaiba of Kaiba Cooperation
Location: Angel Groove Command Center
First Sortie: Cyclopsis
Combat Role: Front Line Defensive
Final Fusion: Acts as the base body for Mecha Lord: [link]
Status: Active

Pilot Methodology:
Bio-Psychological Synchronization allowing for full mental control of the Eva. Allowing the pilot to control the Evangelion as they would their own body.

Method Risk: High
Due to the nature of the Evangelion and the synchronization, the pilot risks a large mental and physical burden. Depending on the synch-rate, the pilot will feel part of or all injuries dealt to Eva.

There are also ramifications involved with the source of the Eva's "unique" AI, but these have yet to be fully explored.

Power Source: Internal Neutron-Plutonium Battery
Anti-Terror (AT) Field- Defensive Barrier proven to be impenetrable by conventional weaponry
Heat-laced Saber Knives stored in the forearms
Two-piece AT Glaive stored in the shoulder pylons

Evangelion-01 was originally built in Hakone, Japan by the organization Gehirn and completed in 2014 under Gehirn's successor Nerv.

Like it's predecessors and other Evangelion models built after it, Unit 01 was constructed for the purpose of combating the enigmatic and powerful angels that assaulted Nerv HQ. Despite the unstable nature of both it's "AI" and it's pilot, the evangelion held a successful deployment rate, three angels were felled by Unit 01 before other units were brought to Nerv HQ in Tokyo-3.

However, a short time after defeating the Angel, Israfel, Unit 01's pilot was captured by a group of pirates originating from the Ryuken Islands. In a botched ransom attempt, Unit 01 soon came under the pirate's possession.

A month afterwards, both the pilot and the Eva were sold to Kaiba Cooperation under odd circumstances and Seto did not hesitate to mobilize the Unit into the Defense Force of his newly bought city, Angel Groove.

Despite the reluctance of it's pilot, the Evangelion performed well within the Mecha Ranger special forces unit and served as the base body for the "Mecha Lord" and succeeded in protecting the city in spite of collateral damage.

However, during the battle against the Ancient Dragon Deathwing, the Eva was severely damaged and it's pilots pain threshold breached. Major Ikari was placed into Medical Leave, but the Eva lacked proper parts to restore it to it's original form after Nerv's Commander officially handed over ownership of the Evangelion to Kaiba.

Somewhat a prodigy of ingenuity, the younger Kaiba brother held himself and his personally selected group of engineers under lock-down until his endeavor was finished. To rebuild and truly animate Evangelion.

The Evangelion was redesigned to display a more sublime appearance, allow for greater adaptability and flexibility, more stable interface between pilot and the eva, and greater ease when forming into Mecha Lord and it's multiple configurations.

However, the Eva remains unfinished despite appearances and the crew is tight-lipped on what has not been completed. But, Mokuba did assure that the remaining 10% was nothing essential.

During the battle against Cyclopsis, Eva's pilot deployed the barely-incomplete Eva with satisfying results and a successful fusion sequence. Afterwards, the final touches on Eva were completed and is now officially active in the city's defensive efforts.

Note: Picture has been changed to one that was made by your's truly. It's not as great as the other one, but this one has a spear so it's automatically better. (I kid on that last sentence)
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Might Morphin Mecha Rangers! Profile

featured in: [link]

Mecha: Lagann
Pilot: Simon
Designer: Unknown
Owner: Dai-Gurren Brigade
Location: Angel Groove
First Sortie: Unknown
Combat Role: Offense/Support
Final Fusion: Acts as Head/Helmet for Mecha Lord: [link]
Status: Active

Power Source: Spiral Energy
Weapon: Drills...lots and lots of Drills

Pilot Methodology:
Stand+Fighting Spirit

Method Risk: Minimally Moderate
Since power is drawn from the pilot's emotions, their concentration and performance can suffer during emotional or psychological low points

There are also ramifications involved with the source of the Eva's "unique" AI, but these have yet to be fully explored.

When one first sees this mecha, they will probably think: I'm supposed to be scared of that little thing? It's barely the size of a GM's foot! This also tends to be most people's reaction to it's child pilot, Simon.

They're dead wrong.

Breaking through the ceiling of his underground city, Simon pilots the Gunman Lagann and treats it as he would his own body. The mecha, despite it's small size contains potentially limitless power.

This power is primarily shaped into drills that can emerge from any part of the mecha's body. Lagann also holds the ability to "combine" with any other mecha to phenominally increase the strength of both. Lagann usually uses this technique to combine with the Gunman Gurren to create the eponymous Gurren Lagann!

After half a year of kicking ass and wandering the surface after escaping "the mines", Simon and the Dai-Gurren Brigade settle into Angel Groove and kick back to relax.

At least until the monster of the week shows up...but hey, they call Simon the Digger for a reason.
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Anyone ever met someone who they had a bad feeling about from the start? Maybe they didn't put themselves out in the open as often, seemed like nice people and looked legitimately trustworthy. Even then, they just seemed like someone you could have a good time with. But you had a bad feeling about this person that only grew the more you hung out with them. Eventually you see them for the manipulative jerk that they really are and see signs that they'll cause trouble. But you look around to see that many of your friends don't see what you see until...the person does something.

That would be the best way to sum up the Twilight Saga. While at first glance, it appears to be a teenage love story about a girl who falls in love with a vampire despite the obvious danger. Good or bad, the premise isn't terrible in itself, in short, it's a nice set up for a decent read. Unfortunately, Twilight is much...much...worse...

There is a three word phrase that I can use to sum up my feelings for this series: POS. The reason I'm using an ancronym is because I've decided to decrease the amount of curse words used and so I can use them more sparingly for the stuff about this series that REALLY ticks me off. My point is that Twilight has become akin to what some called the Prequel saga. But while the prequels were only base breakers and haven't really damaged the Star Wars legacy beyond repair, I cannot say the same for Twilight. Just like the Bible is still around after thousands of years, Twilight is unfortunately going to remain a stain on human intelligence. An immortal written shrine to humanity's potential for literary genocide by tainting an otherwise reputable genre of books for generations to come.

And if you think I hate Twilight because it's a love story, then I would kindly disagree. True, I'm more of a character/story fan myself. In a way, it's really not hard to entertain me when it comes to movies, books, comics, anime, manga, video games, plays or etc. If I can find a character or a story point that I like, then I'll enjoy the overall product, even if it's only a mediocre product at worst.

The reason I hate Twilight is because it fails in what it presents itself as. The second big reason is that despite how it fails, I am constantly baffled at how well the books sell and the box office results for the movies. Even critics didn't like the movies, but people went to watch them anyway...this series has just as much fans as the Harry Potter series when it probably doesn't deserve more than a 1/20th (I'm being kind here) of what Harry Potter had.

It's the equivalent of people electing the Joker as president and considering him one of the greatest leaders that the country has ever had.  Even though all he does is gas major cities with laughing gas, most of his legislation involves some sort of lethal joke at the citizen's expense, and the economy was sabotaged because he kept blowing up or wrecking every vehicle that America has.

So you might be asking my friends...why do I hate Twilight? I can break it down into four main reasons that have nothing to do with my personal taste in entertainment. These reasons really center around how Twilight fails in the area that it's supposed to be in.

Here they are and I'll be expanding on them through this retrospective review:

1) The main characters

2) The Relationship development and dynamics

3) The Story

4) Everything else!

But it's not going to matter in the end, because this series has made it's author, Stephanie Meyer, rich beyond what some think she deserves. It has a fanbase somehow...people actually paid money to buy books beyond the first one...they cosplay as characters from this series...people see the main characters as ideal boyfriends/'s just...

Someone throw me a bone here, if you have any insight that you'd like to share then please do. Until next time my friends.
The intro for a full four part review of twilight and why it fundamentally fails as what it presents itself as.

Done in sort of a style that mixes the methods of the Spoonyone, Redlettermedia, Nostalgia Critic and Confused Matthew. Because all four are funny and pretty good in their own respects, even if I don't always agree with what they say.

That said, anyone reading this is completely free to disagree with my opinion or my points. Any Twilight fan reading this should not take personal offense to what I might say here. You may have a perfectly valid reason for liking Twilight, that's your choice.

Consider me a Devil's Advocate whose asking why it's so popular.

Part 1: [link]

Part 2: [link]

Part 3: [link]

Part 4: [link]
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Might Morphin Mecha Rangers! Profile

featured in: [link]

Mecha: Escaflowne
Pilot: King Van Fanel
Designer: Ancient Atlanteans
Owner: King Van Fanel of Fanelia
Location: Angel Groove Command Center
First Sortie: Unknown
Combat Role: Melee
Final Fusion: Acts as Greaves and Torso for Mecha Lord: [link]
Status: Active

Power Source: Heart of a Dragon
Weapon: Greatsword w/ 2 Blades stored in the spine

Pilot Methodology:
Standard+Mental Link

Method Risk: Moderate
Escaflowne is known to occasionally draw blood from it's pilots...

On the world of Gaea is a small kingdom that houses only a small volunteer force in opposition to many of the other realms within this mystical world of magic and technology.

But Fanelia remains respected above all others. Because it's King's hold a powerful legacy that spans from beyond recorded history.

Escaflowne is the greatest symbol of this legacy.

An ancient guymelef unmatched by even modern models, Escaflowne is a warrior machine that only the greatest of souls can pilot. Thus, each Heir of Fanelia must undergo a dangerous endeavor to prove their worth.

To slay a dragon and use it's beating heart to give power to Escaflowne.

It's latest holder for two years, Van Fanel, has used his machine to protect his people and eventually expand Fanelia's influence after the defeat of Zaybak.

So what brings this King and his fiancee to Angel Groove serving the whims of Seto Kaiba?

Icon will placehold for near-future image.
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At first she felt uneasy about this suit, particularly it's translucent parts that left it's wearer more exposed than even the normal plugsuit.

But she came to like it's tight snug fit and now it's one of her favorite personal outfits. As Pen pen had just noticed, so did a now unconscious onlooker.

A very well done Commission made by y-panco:
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Reason #1 for hating Twilight: The main characters

I may annoy a few people if I bring up a future point again and again and again. But it's such a pivotal one that it can't be ignored.

A love story is a tale about two characters who meet, form a bond that grows into a dynamic of love, and the rest of the story is about how that relationship is tested.

That last sentence, is the best summary that I can think of for why a life story either succeeds or fails. The first thing you need to have a love story or any kind of story for that matter, is a protagonist. In the case of the love story, two protagonists or a protagonist and his love interest.

Here's some basic examples from popular media:

Miroku and Sango from Inuyasha, Ron and Hermoine from Harry Potter, Master Chief and Cortana from Halo (it's weird), Pazu and Sheeta from Castle in the Sky, Any Bioware hero and the love interest of their choice, Cloud and Tifa from Final Fantasy VII, Aragorn and Arwen from Lord of the Rings, Cyclops and Jean Grey from X-Men, Linus and Charlie Brown's sister from Peanuts, Han Solo and Leia, Mario and Peach, Link and Zelda, Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, Scarlet and Rhett from Gone with the Wind, Simon and Nia from Gurren Lagann, Heero Yuy and Relena from Gundam Wing, Katniss and Peeta from the Hunger Games, Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell from Fullmetal Alchemist, Roger Smith and Dorothy from Big O, Hitomi and Van from Escaflowne, Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon, James Martin and Nonnie Parry from the Posiedon Adventure, and Romeo and Juliet from...the play named after them.

If anyone can think of another pair then feel free to mention them.

Generally these characters are people who may have never met before, but they can also have met at a previous occasion before the story began. They could've have been childhood friends who meeting for the first time in years as older people or they do have a connection, but it has stayed cool and inactive for some reason. Whatever the reason, the story will bring up a situation that will bring these two into close and/or consistent contact for a long period of time.

They share they're plights with each other, trust each other with things about their past that might still haunt them, and eventually come to rely on each other. This constitutes the building of a bond that overtime becomes attraction and then grows further into love, at least most of the time.

I'll get into that last sentence in my next part, but the point remains that for a love story to work, you need to have two characters, two fleshed out and fully written three-dimensional characters that we can follow and grow attached to. These characters need to meet, to butt heads and get dizzy, then lean on each other to get their dizzy selves out the door without falling. Generally, even if your love story isn't all that emmy-worthy, if you can at least get readers to care about your characters as characters, then you're doing something right.

So with everything that I just pointed out to you, I ask a simple question...

Why should we care about Bella or Edward?

I am not convinced that they are characters, at least the kind that we should be rooting for. These two are presented as the main lovers of Twilight, but is their bond something that we could What do we even know about these two aside from their physical traits, what they look like, or what they can do?

I don't to bring up the Redlettermedia challenge again to be able say that these two are so poorly written that cardboard cutout characters are more believable than them.

But wait...there is something that we can see about either of their personalities, and that is their actions. See, actions tend to speak louder than words and really show what a person has on the inside. So...I guess we can gauge some kind of personality from their actions and I may have to take back what I said earlier.

So let's start with Bella: Meets a vampire and wants him to turn her into one; Never gives any reason beyond his looks for why she loves Edward; Cuts herself and throws herself off cliffs just so she can see him when he leaves; leads on a decent werewolf boy and then dumps him when Edward comes back; kisses the werewolf boy after getting engaged to Edward; stops talking to her friends after getting with Edward and then gets pissed when they stop talking to her; Never gives a damn or is bothered about the vampire-werewolf war that starts because of her; Constantly manipulates the werewolf to get what she wants because he still likes her; gets married right out of highschool at the age of 18 when she hasn't known edward for more than a year; didn't use protection on the honeymoon and is stunned when she ends up pregnant (there's a reason, but it's a poorly explained one and she still should have done something if she didn't want a kid anyway); lies to her father and bitches him out when he's rightfully worried for her; Never does anything for herself and always has Edward or the werewolf boy (Jacob was his name I think) do everything for her and carry her everywhere; Is an admitted author avatar for Stephenie Meyer; Is unreasonably okay with having her newborn baby imprinted onto Jacob and...admittingly, I may have missed something, but I'm sure that I have enough to gauge her character.

Bella is a selfish, uncaring, pretentious, manipulative, self-centered, idiotic, clingy, shallow, desperate, and considering my Top 12 bitches who need a slap list, this woman is almost up there with the white bitch from Rosewood. If that was Stephanie Meyer's create a tragic, flawed woman who would serve as the catalyst for a depressing tale...well, she still screwed up.

Instead, Bella is supposed to represent the every day, average, American teenage girl. In some some very scary ways, Bella is spot on for the worst of them while leaving out the vast majority of probably flawed and imperfect, but still decent and intelligent girls to rot in the dust. Not only that, but this story celebrates this as a means to gaining a happily ever after! It's so removed from reality that it doesn't make sense. Even the biggest gold-diggers out there wouldn't act as...stupid as this woman did.

Now for Edward, maybe he'll come off as a better character? After all, he does save Bella most of the time and doesn't rip out her throat like most vampires would. Maybe there is something under that pretty boy face.

Let's find out: Is madly attracted to Bella's blood despite being a veggie vampire; considers killing her and twenty other students to remove witnesses; Sneaks into her bedroom on multiple occasions; Leaves her for no reason and says that he doesn't love her; Still sneaks into Bella's bedroom despite being banned by a perfectly reasonable father; Is perfectly cool with his fiance having feelings for Jacob and even kissing him; decides to marry her even though they've barely known each other for a year and she's just turning 18 while he's close to being a hundred; On their honeymoon, he breaks her body in multiple places during intercourse; is stunned when his fiancee is pregnant despite the fact that they did the nasty without protection; attempts to force Bella into having an abortion; threatens to disown her if she doesn't because she's being "selfish"; Is perfectly cool with Jacob being around even though he still clearly has feelings for Bella; Is perfectly cool with having his newborn baby imprinted onto Jacob; and I could go on, but I think we have enough.

Edward overprotective, creepy, controlling, cold, harsh, bitter, selfish, border-line abusive, emo, whiny, tortured for no reason, manipulative stalker! Half of the stuff that I just read off could easily be attributed to evil characters who like to get a kick out of the pain of their victims! This guy sounds like he'd be the perfect sadistic second-in command to a reasonable overlord.

Here, he's presented as every woman's wet dream. He sparkles in daylight instead of burning like he should; he's a pretty boy; he has a nice body that he doesn't have to work for; he's strong and fast; he can read your mind whether you want him to or not; and he's rich enough to have his own resort on an island off of Rio de Janiaro. Even the author has admitted to being willing to walk out on her family if he were to show up at her doorstep.

So I'll break it down for you. These two characters are supposed to be the people that we care about. But in truth, they're so horribly presented and unbelievable that it takes you out of whatever story that they're trying to tell. Especially since, the tone for the story that these two characters are in is so wrong! You can't have a happy, love story where two people meet and eventually marry with two characters that have traits that would never fly in real life!

And that is the first link that breaks any believability in this love story. If we can't build a connection with these characters, then we don't care about them getting together or what they might do! Without your characters, there is no bond; without the bond, you have no love story; without your love story, there is no story since the overall story is centered around the love story! This is the most basic reason why Twilight fails as both a story and a love story!

I could stop here since the chain's already broken...but I'm only getting started my friends!
For the record, I have a +5 flame shield so bring it on!

Intro: [link]

Part 2: [link]

Part 3: [link]

Part 4: [link]
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Reason #2 for hating Twilight, the relationship and dynamic

So we all know that Twilight's entire infrastructure is no longer valid because the central characters of the love story fail to make us care about them.  Without that, we don't care about them getting together or about what might happen because of it.

But let's pretend that physical features can constitute a bond and that we care about them for a few minutes.  It wouldn't matter because everything about their relationship and the dynamic it holds is wrong.  Everything about their little tale is so horribly wrong.

You see, every love story has a certain dynamic that affects it's mood and tone, kind of like an overarching cloud that the story lies within.  These dynamics come out in how the love story plays out and can wildly vary since love stories are so diverse and numerous.

Here's a few examples:  Passsionate but forbidden romance; an animosity that still remains despite a growing attachment; childhood sweethearts; the knight and his princess; interracial relationships; intercultural relationships; interspecies relationships; Being friends with benefits; wartime loves; a pair in an on and off relationship rollercooster; strained lovers; arranged pairs; fraternization; Pretending to be in love and eventually actually falling in love; the seemingly odd couple that no one saw coming; the chatty one and the quiet one; the nice one and the jerk; one person is manipulating the feelings of the other for their own gain; and then there's people who just like to bang and that's it.

Each one of these types of relationships has a dynamic that is going to affect how the story plays out and how it will end.  The relationship has some traits that make it stand out even when it might not be at the forefront of the story.  Childhood sweethearts who remain a pair from kids up to adulthood is going to be a lot happier in tone than a forbidden romance.  Interspecies relationships like say between a human and a quarian has a lot more issues working against it than the friends with benefits situation.

It's also going to affect the mood of the story.  As much as people hate the star wars prequels, I'm probably in the minority who actually enjoyed the love story between Anakin and Padme.  It was a forbidden romance that was doomed to tragedy despite the goodness and nobility of the characters and it worked for the increasingly dark and depressing mood of the star wars prequels.

The paradigm of a knight and his princess is mainly one of a hero and the girl that he has to go save.  Maybe she was genuinely captured by something that she couldn't handle on her own, she's in tight spot and can't get out without help, or she's a dumbass in distress who really shouldn't be in that situation, but the hero's going to save her regardless.  This especially prevelent in anime and manga like Bleach or Inuyasha and it seems pretty simple at first glance.  However, the girl getting saved is eventually going to feel like a burden because the main character is getting hurt to save them.  She'll feel guilty, unworthy of his devotion and loyalty, weak, powerless, and she'll probably go through an arc where she decides to stop letting him do things for himself.  This will inspire her to get some kind of training to either support him or she'll take a level in badass and start fighting alongside him.  She'll still make mistakes and stumble a lot and she may still have to be saved a few times, but in time she'll pay back the favor by saving the hero when he's in his darkest hour or provide a constant emotional support that he may need.

A relationship where manipulation or falsehood are in play may have some bright spots, but's going to end badly.  Take the main characters in Gone in the Wind for example, Rhett clearly loved Scarlet from the start, but she was in love with a soldier who had married her best friend and already had a family.  So she toyed around with Rhett and even married him and had a daughter, but she still pined for the soldier.  By the time she finally got her head out of the gutter, Rhett came to conclude that despite his wealth, his charming good looks, his devotion, and his love for her that Scarlet would never truly love her.  So that movie ends pretty sadly with Rhett getting fed up with Scarlet's games and walking out on her and frankly not giving a damn about what she does from there.  This worked for the story and is one of the reasons that Gone with the Wind is one of the best regarded movies of all time.

Then there's the odd couple, the pair that nobody say coming, except for diehard fans who saw all of the foreshadowing and put the pieces together.  Often characters in the story and the audience will wonder what one character sees in the other.  Usually this will involve a genius, beautiful, and high teir individual falling in love with and maybe even marrying what others consider to be undesirable, clumsy, weird, or something about them that that just spells, "reject".  Even the lucky interest will sometimes ask themself how they got so lucky.  Sometimes we never find out the answer, other times the answer is so simple that it brings a smile to our faces.  Like Roger Rabbit ending up with the hot as hell Jessica Rabbit because he makes her laugh; Vegeta and Bulma getting together and starting a family with Bulma still retaining all of her bones and limbs and Vegeta actually caring for his family; Yuna falling for that whinny little scrappy Tidus in Final Fantasy X; or or Riza Hawkeye falling for a guy who wants to become Fuhrer and create a law requiring all female officers to wear tiny mini-skirts!

(Okay, that last one is actually a pretty well-written relationship, I just found that very funny)

Here's another paradigm called the strained lovers.  This is when two characters started out really being in love, but the circumstance of the story splits them apart and when they're together, so much has changed that that the bond could go either way.  They'll work to still stay together despite the change, or they'll conclude that it's too late and move on with their lives.  Take Ten Commandments for example, in the movie, Moses and the woman who was engaged to Rameses had a bond.  But after Moses discovered the truth about his heritage as a hebrew and was eventually exiled for murdering the egyptian torturer, the woman, Bethy might have been her name, married Rameses and despite not loving him, comes to enjoy the power of authority, has a son and is much more of a venomous and vengeful person when Moses returns as God's messenger of deliverance.  She even eggs on and pressures Rameses into continuing to defy Moses' demands despite the obvious stupidity in denying the guy whose apparently causing water to turn to blood by touching it with his staff.  By the end of the movie, Bethy is left miserable, her son is dead, her kingdom ruined and humiliated and all she has left is a pharoah husband who was so broken that he couldn't even kill her in anger.  Moses on the other hand, has moved on, he's married with two sons, the leader of the Hebrew people and he leads a long faithful and productive life as a servant of God.  It's kind of bittersweet even when the parting of ways is for the best, it leaves a question of "What if?"

Lastly is my personal favorite, the animosity that remains despite the growing bond.  At TV tropes, it's as "slap, slap, kiss, kiss" trope and is generally referred to as a love-hate relationship.  This involves two characters who are initially distrustful, prejudiced, hostile or outright violent to each other from the start of the story.  Maybe they come from two warring clans and they've been raised to hate each other;  Maybe they come from conflicting cultures that have a dark history between them; maybe one did something to the other in the past; or maybe they just don't like each other.  But circumstances will emerge to put these two into contact with each other.  Overtime, they'll get to know each other as they're animosity cools to better work together and may even come to realize that they're more alike than they were previously willing to admit.  After that, they start to grow attached to each other despite their misgivings, but then something will happen and they will form a bond.  Even though the animosity might still remain to some degree, the story usually plays it for laughs or as something akin to an arguing couple.

Again, none of these paradigms are strictly as they're defined, some can be subtle while others are quiet.  They don't even have to end the same way, but the dynamic of the relationship still remains.  The details of what they do when they're together, how they act, what they talk about, how they came to become a couple, the pressing concern that they'll have to deal with, the hurdles that is causing a rift in their trust, the mistakes that one or both of them make and the reaction to it, and how it all plays out before the audience.

So what's the dynamic of Twilight's relationship?

I don't really know to be perfectly honest...It presents itself as a fantasy-type relationship when it really plays out like a manipulative or shallow relationship but still gets a happy ending like it was a fantasy-type relationship. doesn't feel like how an actual relationship would go...I just can't picture any person who in their right mind would marry someone else based solely on their looks and their wealth after barely a year of knowing each other.

And remember all of those traits that I had listed out for Edward and Bella while looking for a personality?  Oh wait!  We're assuming that they have one for this section...anyway, I did not make any of that stuff up, all of that stuff actually happened and it didn't interfere with their happy ending at the end.  Not once do the books appropriately address the negative connotations that Edward constantly sneaks into Bella's room without her knowledge and possibly consent since it's always a "pleasant" surprise and with complete disregard for respect towards the household of Bella's father.  Never once does Edward get ticked that Bella is toying with Jacob or that she kisses him after she was engaged to Edward.  All he says is that, "She needs about herself more and that she things about herself too much."

Hold it....





.....Excuse me...I just realized how stupid that last sentence was....

Any realistic person, even the most stoic and seemingly unattached man would at least have a few words to say about their woman pining for another man and put their foot down.  See, when a love interest gets upset about something that the other one does, it's not out of venom, it's because they might feel like they're being led on or betrayed and they want to know that the other person's feelings are genuine.  Sometimes this leads to a fallout, or maybe a confession will ensue and forgiveness will tenderly come.  It all depends on the personality of the characters and the dynamic of their relationship.

For instance, I'm a really big fan of bioware mainly because of the strong writing that they're games have.  They could easily be translated into movies or anime with the right direction.  Another reason is that the situations of the relationships that you can form is actually pretty close to reality.  In the first game, you can hook up with an opposite gender human assuming that you didn't leave them to die in during the game.  This is going to contain spoilers, but long story short, you kind of died in the beginning of the second game and a blackwater pro-human cooperation brings you back to life and even rebuilds your ship to allow you to form your own team.  But once you meet up with the love interest from the last game, they're kind of ticked about you working with the blackwater corp. and basically dump you. The strength of the writing is that you could easily interrupt that scene as either a fall-out or a break up.  The love interest has every reason to be ticked at you, but you're as much in the right or even more so considering that you were dead to say she's not worth the time and hook up with a member of your team.

Reactions like this show that the characters have emotions and that they care about their relationship, and when we care about the character and they care about their relationship, the audience can also come to care as well.  But with the pair from Twilight, I don't feel anything about their bond.  There's nothing that constitutes a deeper relationship between these two other than that Edward's hot and Bella's blood is alluring, I...we are never shown anything deeper than physical traits.  Hell, Bella can somehow shield her mind from Edward's..."mind reading ability" and if you're so in love with someone that you'd marry them after a short amount of time, why do you need a shield?  Don't you trust Edward to respect your privacy?  You he does when he sneaks into your room to watch you sleep?

Every trait that I can see point to this relationship ending horribly from book one and it's not just because of the vampire-human dynamic.  It's because the tone of this tale is completely mismatched with everything that's happening! Like it's celebrating women who can't take care of themselves and need a muscle-bound boy to look after them!  Like it's applauding the stalker for threatening his wife to have an abortion and calls his unborn child a monster!  Like it's celebrating Bella's leading on of and manipulation of Jacob!  The story never sees them suffer appropriately for very negative actions and traits and that makes the dynamic unrealistic and practically nonexistent.  When people do negative things to each other in real life, there's a penalty in some degree and everyone suffers for it.

Even Disney movies have a more believable love dynamic and most of those are formed with the span of a week!  And when the relationship in the Little Mermaid, formed over three days, is more believable than your's; when Up, whose entire love arc lasted five minutes and was still better written than your's...STOP WRITING LOVE STORIES!

These are the two big reasons why Twilight fails as a love story.  The characters are unbelievable and we don't care about them and the love dynamic is wrong and we don't care about it.  If you're in the group who actually think that this love story holds water....please take a little piece of paper, write the words: "Insert name's" Common Sense and then rip it in half!

It's not because you like love stories, I actually like several myself.

It's not because you like vampires, Blade is one of my favorite superheroes.

It's not because you like eyecandy, who doesn't?

But as I'll explain later, Twilight takes those three sentences and twists them into a messed up fantasy completely removed from reality or common sense.  Lord of the Rings is more grounded than Twilight and I won't lie, the books are hard to read through, especially the Silmarrilion.

Bare with me for a little longer and I'll show you how the chain is further broken by these two points....
And hello part 2

Intro: [link]

Part 1: [link]

Part 3: [link]

Part 4: [link]
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