SNIPPY: evidence"Blasted mug!"SNIPPY: evidence3 years ago in Personal More Like This
I looked at it hatefully.
"This is all your fault!"
I attempted to throw the mug at the Arbitrator, to smash it, to let go of it.
Nothing of the sort was possible.
I flailed left and right. The mug did not budge. I could not let it go, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if it were glued to me with a strange static-like substance. It rolled between my fingers and from one hand to the other, but it was as if I were made of iron and the mug were a powerful rare-earth magnetic bearing coated with oil.
Why can't I let go of the mug?!
Did the Arbitrator's reconstruction of my organs have anything to do with this?
Upon giving up to prying the mug out of my hands, I turned to the Arbitrator and spoke.
I made my case calmly and clearly, pressuring various facts that my DNA couldn't possibly be on the mug and that I looked nothing like Captain and that it might as well scan my memories for evidence or something of that sort.
AMBER SNIPPY'S FATE?I've had that dream again.AMBER SNIPPY'S FATE?3 years ago in Personal More Like This
That strange place, so distant, yet so close to my heart. Buildings as tall as mountains.
Dead structures, watching with dead eyes. Empty, vast and endless honeycombs of stone and steel. Air filled with gray ashes, always fluttering from the cloudy sky.
The black vortex opens up in the sky, descending down to the city. The vortex spiral rips the city apart, bending the air itself, feasting on light, feasting on time.
There is a lonely figure standing in the street.
No matter how hard I try to make out his or her expression, I cannot. Is there no face there at all? Or perhaps there is a million human faces there, intertwined and flickering in unison, as bright as the light of ten thousand suns?
The being stares into the abyss of the vortex.
It takes another step towards it, into the horizon of nothingness, into a place where nothing can exist.
The stones of the roadway beneath its feet crumble and flutter in t
SNIPPY: ON THE ROAD TO...September something something.SNIPPY: ON THE ROAD TO...4 years ago in Personal More Like This
Sadly this chip is only good for recording and not for playback.
I've definitely long lost track of time, traveling with Captain from one part of the city to another.
It's probably not even September, but most likely October. Anyway it doesn't really matter, because it's always cold thanks to nuclear winter and it's always either snowing or "ashening" with rare instances of sunlight breaking through the thick, gloomy, black clouds overhead.
I've made many mistakes in my past, and I don't have much to look forward in the future, but yet I keep living for some reason, even if that reason is captain's continuous entertainment.
Everyday before I fall asleep I think of what horrible things the captain will do tomorrow. This week the bastard kept dressing me up in ridiculous outfits and giving me new "personalities to play". Where does one find the time to dig up costumes? Yesterday I woke up all dressed up like an old lady a
Engie: awakeI felt scorching heat and vibrating pain.Engie: awake4 years ago in Personal More Like This
There was an endless buzz in my ears of massive shell-shock.
Crunching noise of the ground.
For a brief second I saw tiny mushrooms and flowers under me, but they quickly disintegrated into dust.
Impossible. Shock-Hallucinations. I haven't seen grass in so many years.
Crawl forward. Away. Away from the heat.
Farther. Come on Alex. Get up. Walk.
Something was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be alive.
...Ion Cannon interrupts all electronic impulses, no matter how small, effectively scrambling, disrupting all neural activity and shuts down the brain.
Sure, the walls of the little house protected me from the flames of ruptured atmosphere, but how is my mind still active?
Only one thing could have protected me. Something which could bend all known laws of physics at it pleased.
Could it be? The note?!
Could Seven's luck actually transfer onto others?
If this is true, then Seven could be the key to my
Snippy: the end of the worldThe living scarf twisted around my neck, flowing back and forth.Snippy: the end of the world3 years ago in Personal More Like This
My neurons tingled, misfiring.
Was it numbing the pain of being compressed into a hexagonal cocoon that pressed tighter and tighter?
No, it was showing me what it could see and feel, what my limited human vision could not.
The aggregate virus bore into my body, feasting on my cells, borrowing me to expand itself, yet it did not take over completely.
I was here, no I was out there, I was a hundred trillion cells and they were ALL suddenly under my control.
It seems that our relationship status has been upgraded from "master controller/slave drive" to an "unlicensed symbiosis".
The Biomatrix served as my new eyes, letting me peer through my own skin, bones, flesh and organs, through my fireproof jacket, through the web of intertwining lights that bound us in a stasis field, through the thick, crystalline walls of the Arbitrator's spacecraft.
My vision intensified, expandi
SNIPPY: REMEMBERANCES OF THE PAST DAYOctober something, something.SNIPPY: REMEMBERANCES OF THE PAST DAY4 years ago in Personal More Like This
Today captain declared as "REMEMBERANCES OF THE PAST DAY".
The day begun with me getting smacked with a broken laptop and yells "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!".
I tried to protest that laptops weren't attacking people in the mornings back in the past. To this, Captain declared that in fact they didn't have to, because users were so addicted to reading their daily mail facts that every morning they woke up smacking their heads on their laptops.
Then my head was treated to a barrage of empty, metal SPAM cans with words "SPAM MAIL! DODGE THE SPAM! USE FILTERS!".
With these words, captain gave me two old tennis rackets. The tennis rackets had yellow duck-tape stickers on them with words "DELETE" and "BLOCK EMAIL ADDRESS".
The spam can attack didn't end there, Pilot's job for today was hiding behind building ruins and throwing the spam cans at me at random intervals with yells of "INCREASE YOUR GENITAL SIZE!", "RUSSIAN BRIDE LOVES YOU" and "I AM NIGERIAN PRINCE WITH 56 BILL
BIOMATRIX 117: INPUT COORDINATES OF JUMPWhAT ShAlL We dO WiTh cHaRLeS SnIPpY'S rEqUEST??BIOMATRIX 117: INPUT COORDINATES OF JUMP3 years ago in Personal More Like This
To WhIcH PlaCe AnD TiMe ShOuLd The BiOmAtRiX TaKe Him?
WhErE AnD WhEn WoUlD YoU Like To SeE?
ENGIE: RegretsI was at first too stupid to see that we were no longer using ANNIE but Annie was using us.ENGIE: Regrets4 years ago in Personal More Like This
She was a goddess in the machine, our search engine.
We used her to collect and share knowledge and in return she had started to use us as her processors. It was an unexpected transition and it took a long time, thus I failed to notice it, failed to stop it. The new organism had come to life in which we were only neuron cells of her massive mind, that spanned continents.
Humanity no longer had a chance to survive in it's current state. We had poisoned the oceans, we had scorched the earth and blackened the sky in our quest for power.
The world we knew was dying. I knew that this decade would be our last. The city would fall to the Zone, sooner or later.
Research notes from the last report of Charles Snippy terrified me greatly. They had found something horrid in the Dead Zone. Something that killed them all.
The Dead Zone Research and Tourism i
Charles Snippy: DreamsEntry 382:Charles Snippy: Dreams4 years ago in Personal More Like This
My personal online psychiatrist is making me narrate this nonsense down on the chip embedded in my tooth in hopes that someday I may be cured of my "incompatibility" with ANNET, or at least possibly reduce the "mild psychosis caused by work-related stress" as she calls it.
I know that it's not going to happen. The problem is something genetic and while those goons in the genetics department would love to get their machines into my brain, I prefer the lack of sleep and headaches to lobotomy.
I seen the reports on their test subjects: "total neural shut-down", "subject resists integration with the net, increasing the signal strength lead to damage to the 85% of the frontal lobe."
Call me old fashioned, but I like my brain the way it is.
I've had that day-dream again. Day-mare is more likely.
A flash-mare? Not sure what to call these, really.
The transmitter towers dotting this bloody city are making my life difficult, but not as difficult as the fact that everyone expects me t
Charles Snippy: COFFEESENTRY: 412:Charles Snippy: COFFEES4 years ago in Personal More Like This
This evening, I returned to into the City to fill out the reports about my first tour out into the Dead Zone.
Hopefully, they won't suddenly shut down the D.Z.T.R. Department and there will be more tours for me to "guide".
Today... was different.
A buzzing, hovering Hunter-Drone met me in the Airlock.
Must be a new thing.
Ah I see,
As I'm forever unable to access ANNET, someone up top must have programmed this contraption to follow me around, shouting things at me.
Thank you, whoever you are.
I never felt more ridiculous.
To top things off, I lost my coffee.
ENGIE: PROTOCOL 1-1-3Zee Captain's note of summons had sealed my fate.ENGIE: PROTOCOL 1-1-34 years ago in Personal More Like This
I felt a cold pull at my stomach. Something else was coming, re-awakened by the presence of Captain.
Something worse than the shuffling noises of the red beasts outside. The sound of falling cannonball.
Whatever that fleshy monstrosity was, it cared not for me, but it's presence here led ANNIE straight to me.
...And it came to pass on the morrow, that the goddess in the machine came upon me and she wanted vengeance.
She was online, the thermonuclear bombardment of the core databank cube had failed to shut her down.
She was still alive, after all these years.
The explosive crash-landing of the hunter machine through the old roof drew THEIR attention.
I was now between two wild beasts, out for my blood.
What was Protocol 1-1-3?
Memories of Directorate weapon codes lingered in my mind, poisoning my thought pattern.
Could it be?
...So this was to be my death.
ANNIE had let me know that she
Charles snippy: TRANSFERENTRY: 377:Charles snippy: TRANSFER4 years ago in Personal More Like This
For several months of torture, the Directorate kept me in their offices, making me file paperwork on their "test subjects", all while I kept sending applications to the "Dead Zone tourism" branch, to get away from towering cubes of the Directorate, away from cities and transmitter towers that were slowly frying my brain.
Centuries of industrial pollution were inevitably changing the biosphere of our world and the Directorate knew it better than anyone, yet they did nothing to stop it, profit had to be maximized, production had to be increased, customers had to be satisfied. Holes in the ozone layer, irreversible changes in the atmosphere, radioactive fallout, wild-life mutations, the days growing darker and the sky turning black - none of this mattered to them.
These changes must have been so gradual that no single generation was able to protest it.
Everyone was happily, playfully, and joyfully ignoring the world outside o
BIOMATRIX 117: A TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD ENIGMAtHeRE's SoMeThiNg iN tHe MoSt DisTanT MeMoRy Of PaSt SoMeThiNg ThaT DoeS Not BeLong, SoMeThiNg ThaT I mUsT ShOw tO ChaRleS SniPpy.BIOMATRIX 117: A TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD ENIGMA3 years ago in Personal More Like This
CaN YoU GuESs WhaT iT iS?
Biomass 117: DISCONNECTED AVATAROn StArDaTe 230387455652769 A TrIaL Has CoMmeNcEd, To EvaLuAte ThE LoSs oF InVaDer UnIoN Ship 4920-938Biomass 117: DISCONNECTED AVATAR4 years ago in Personal More Like This
It WaS DiScoVeRed ThEn,
ThAt ThE SiNgULaRitY KnoWn As CaPtaIn ComiTtED A SeRieS of CriMeS AgAiNsT The UniOn.
AnD So, By ThE OrDeR Of ThE InVaDeRs UniOn,
We WeRe SuMmOneD AnD
To ThiS WoRlD On ThE TeTrA-ViRuS SeEdS.
To InFeCt aNd To UnItE AlL LiViNg LoCaL MulTiCeLlULaRs As BiOMaSs 117, The MoSt UnStoPpaBLe aNd FaIr JuDgE oF AlL.
LifE alwAys fInDs a wAy.
WhilE wE scAnNed the
SNIPPY: BIOGRAPHICAL DATA 001ENTRY 9997:SNIPPY: BIOGRAPHICAL DATA 0014 years ago in Personal More Like This
To anyone who finds these memory cards,
and the messages left within...
My name is Charles Snippy. I am probably the last sane human being left on earth. I know not whether you will understand this message. I know not whether you'll even be able to decode the ones and zeros on these data cards. I know not whether my voice will even reach anyone.
I know not, whether the microscopic drives will last long enough and whether the plastic and metal which composes them will not disintegrate into dust as centuries pass or whether the titanium shell encasing them will remain in place or be consumed by the ever-changing landscape, lost forever.
And yet I still have hope that someone will find the story of my life, long past and learns something of use from it.
If you are still human, then this will be a story about the collapse of civilization of your forefathers through greed and arrogance.
If you are some other species entirely, then it is a story about how our human race was extin
PILOT: THINGS I LIKETHE TINY TAG ON MY INSIDE FOLD OF MY JACKET SAYS "SG CHRISTOPHORUS HATCHENSON".PILOT: THINGS I LIKE4 years ago in Personal More Like This
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SOMEONE I LIKE.
MAYBE I KILLED THEM FOR THIS JACKET.
THIS JACKET IS SOFT AND FITTING.
I AM PILOT. CAPTAIN CALLS ME PILOT, SO I MUST BE PILOT.
I FLY THINGS. I FLEW THE CAPTAIN ONCE ON A MISSION OF GREAT IMPORTANCE. WE HAD A SKY-ACCIDENT.
CAPTAIN SAVED MY LIFE FROM THE BURNING CARCASS OF THE FLYING COW.
CAPTAIN IS MAGIC, LIKE HARRY POTTER BUT MORE MAGIC.
CAPTAIN CAN STOP CLOCKS, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT. THE COW'S CLOCKS AND DIALS FROZE IN PLACE WHEN CAPTAIN GAVE THEM A STERN LOOK.
THE MIRACLES OF CAPTAIN ARE INFINITE AND GREAT.
CAPTAIN LIVES FOREVER. I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
THE CITY OF THE DEAD IS MY HOME.
THE DEAD LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND TALK TO ME,
SNIPPY: FLYING DAYENTRY 3647:SNIPPY: FLYING DAY4 years ago in Personal More Like This
November something something.
I've got to come up with a better system for telling what day it is. Maybe I could scrawl numbers on the back of my shoe? Nah, that sounds like something silly that Pilot would do.
I'm currently carrying a calendar that says 2012 on it, but I am pretty sure that these days aren't correct anyway to our year and Captain keeps scribbling things in the margins whenever I get distracted enough for the calendar to be snatched out of my hands. I found the calendar more or less intact and it's kinda impressive that it lasted from way back in 2012. It must have held some sort of personal importance to it's owner to seal it away in a plastic container with words "the Mayans were wrong, trust no-one!"
I've been trying to keep track of how old I am, but I keep forgetting to check off every day in the calendar or maybe captain is messing off with me by erasing my checkmarks.
Something tells me I shouldn't be telling Captain about my birthday anyway. I would
THE CHURCH OF GOOGLISMSTEP 1: The problem.THE CHURCH OF GOOGLISM2 years ago in Personal More Like This
You have a problem.
Don't tell me you don't have problems.
Everyone has problems.
Determine what your biggest problem is.
Don't have a big problem? Too scared to admit it?
You can start smaller- How about a small problem?
How about something that concerns/bothers/confuses you today/this week/recently?
Come up with a bunch of keywords that describe your problem.
STEP 2: Ask google for solution to your problem.
Google your question using ALL the possible keyword combinations that your problem relates to or has in it.
See if anyone already has a similar problem or has already resolved it.
Take 3 hours if you must.
Finding correct information can get tough, especially if it is obscure, hidden, answered incorrectly or has conflicting answers.
Answers without proper sources or evidence are generally incorrect and should be disregarded.
If there are too many conflicting solutions and opposing answers and you're not sure which is correct,
Use the principle of
SNIPPY: QUESTIONABLE REALITYI definitely thought about killing Captain, especially after several pranks that were pulled on me like that time when I woke up with a bucket super-glued to my head and declared "iron man".SNIPPY: QUESTIONABLE REALITY3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Or that time when Captain made a soup out of my gas mask filters because the broth needed the "Smooth flavour of Snippy" and salt wasn't available... so I had to roam the decaying shopping malls for a new pair.
Or that time when Captain pushed me into a watery abyss inside a wooden barrel to celebrate "Niagara falls day".
Have my thoughts become so compounded as to finally cause schizophrenia?
...Am I a stone throw away from becoming like Pilot, talking to pet rocks and building the Bastion of Captania out of rotting shoe boxes?
And if I were to kill Captain who would I have left?
I must have been talking out loud like those crazy hobos that lived outside the protectorate dome that communicated with radioactive rain clouds via conversations of interpretive dance, until they were consumed by a famil
Snippy: poem of doomI've a lot of time on my hands living inside the whale and such. ....So, today I wrote a poem about Captain:Snippy: poem of doom4 years ago in Personal More Like This
Oh Captain, my Captain! I say it to mock,
You're lucky as hell but to me you're a c***.
Please spare me the missions, I've no head for heights,
Balloons and big lists lead me only to blights.
Evading the probes of an alien race,
Then having to witness your > : ( angry face...
But what choice have I? I'm involved in these fights,
With Cancerous space-monsters full of red sprites,
And Lemonade weirdos and God knows what next,
Just how can you stay so serene and unvexed?
What price should I pay for your simple delights,
Be eaten by whales after soiling my whites?
I know you won't listen, but you'll come unstuck,
And one of these days you'll run right out of luck,
Your empire will fall, and your ego besides,
It's karma for sure, like the turn of the tides,
And then I will lol, sitting in my own muck,
Coz after all this I just won't
ASK SNIPPY: RUNNING AWAY?.ASK SNIPPY: RUNNING AWAY?4 years ago in Personal More Like This
YOU TOO CAN ASK SNIPPY A QUESTION RIGHT HERE:
TORONTO COMIC ARTS FESTIVAL!GREETINGS DELICIOUS MINIONS FROM THE LANDS OF TORONTO!TORONTO COMIC ARTS FESTIVAL!3 years ago in Personal More Like This
IT MAY BE OF PLEASATRY NEWS TO YOU THAT THIS WEEKEND THE CAPTAIN'S TIME HOLE POINTS TO YOUR CANADIAN LANDS.
EXPECT TO CATCH CAPTEIN AT TORONTO'S TCAF: http://torontocomics.com/
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN CAPTAIN AS FREELANCE MINION FOR A DAY AND BRANDISH A SEXY GAS MASK, SEND ME A NOTE!
THE SHOW'S ENTRY IS FREE, SO COME ONE COME ALL. THERE BE PLENTIFUL DELICIOUS THINGS TO OBTAIN AND RADIOACTIVE HUGS TO RECEIVE!
WE SHALL BE AT TABLE 162.
FIND US ON HANDY MAP:
Devious Journal EntryGood ol' alexiuss has been using my computer all day and forgot to log out of his DA account, so this is him getting trolled.Devious Journal Entry3 years ago in Personal More Like This
With love, Humon.