TeddyAs a child, I had some teddy bears. Grey, blue, green, all colors. But then you grow older, and as a boy, those cuddly stuffed animals lose their appeal to you. A man's harsh fate, to have to wander around the world without a teddy. I remember how dad once gave me these plastic cars, and asked if I wasn't getting old for stuffed animals. Mother probably shook her head at him. But his cars didn't miss their purpose. The teddies all ended up in the closet. Then in a bag on the attic. And I have no idea where they are now. All gone. The personifications of my early childhood. Of those days when dad used to ask me what I'd be when I had grown up. I was never able to reply, I had no idea. I just enjoyed my plastic little shiny cars.Teddy9 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Fourteen I was, when I met her. She was a year younger than me. In high school, learning things to become the answer to the question my father always asked me. Although I still had no idea. Walking through the halls between classes, I noticed her by her ginger-c
An Essay on Naming CharactersWhat's In a Name?An Essay on Naming Characters9 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
An Essay on Naming Characters
By Kate Logan
When it comes to character creation, be it for a story or an illustration, choosing the proper name for a character is vital. All too often do I see characters with poorly thought-out names: the chivalrous knight Darren Starhawk; the sweet, innocent Lady Elvira; or the rough-and-tumble brawler Poindexter. On their own, these names are fine (even Starhawk, if you're going for a sci-fi flare), but they simply don't work with the characters they are describing. No one is going to take poor old Poindexter seriously, no matter how big his muscles are. To remedy this catastrophe, here are a few tips and guidelines when naming characters.
First, a little game. Below is a list of several of my characters and a brief description of each, all mixed up and out of order. Try to correctly match the name to the character description. The answers are at the end of this essay (no peeking!).
1. Senshi Meijin
Chemistry Pick Up LinesEveryone knows how hard it is for a geek to get a date. So don't worry, my dear socially challenged little ones, your beloved Chemistry Queen Lunar is here to help you out with a few of her favorite chemistry based pick up lines.Chemistry Pick Up Lines7 years ago in Humor More Like This
-Let's find your melting point, baby.
- Who needs a water bed? You be hydrogen, and I'll be oxygen and we'll bond.
-Let's make a spontaneous reaction.
-We're product favored.
-Let's hook up and make some test tube babies.
-Do you have a high enthalpy? Cause you're hot
-Let's take your enthalpy and my entropy and make some free energy.
-Who nees a bunsen burner when you're around?
-I need a hot water bath, you available?
-Let's go study Thermochemistry, We can learn all about heatings things up.
-Let's go get a Ice Bath, because when we're so close things get a little firey.
-You'll be the water, and I'll be the sodium. Cause when we touch, things get HOT.
-You, me, and a fume hood. What do you say?
-You've got one signifigant figure.
-I don't think I can read
Grammar PoemGrammar.Grammar Poem5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I fear for the world today.
A world in which, 'Where you at?'
Constitutes as a question.
'I did good.'
'None of them work.'
You have been fooled.
'Where are you?' will suffice.
'I did well.' Is nice.
'None of them works.' Is lovely.
So, my gentle snowflakes,
Perhaps I love grammar a little too much,
And perhaps I'm just exacerbating things,
But damn it,
A world without grammar,
Addicted to LostAddicted to Lost11 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Your TiVo's on, and you're at home
Your mind is not your own
Your brain sweats, your body shakes
An episode is what it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you like Sayed
Another show is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you can just turn it off, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to Lost.
You see the signs, what can they mean?
Play it back at a slower speed
Wednesday's at 8, 7 Central Time
You're gonna go out of your mind, a one track mind
You can't be saved
Spoilers are all you crave
If there's a site all set for you
You don't mind if you do
No, you like to think that you can just laugh it off, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to tape it, you're addicted to Lost.
Might as well tape it, you're addicted to Lost.
----guitar solo, featuring Drive Shaft----
The Thing at the BottomThe Thing at the Bottom11 years ago in Children and Teen More Like This
The Thing At The Bottom of The Stairs
Or, A Discourse On The Monstrosity of Monsters
Welcome! Nice to meet you, dear. Come in, come in, don't just stand there hovering. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable, there's plenty of room. Would you care for something to drink? No? Settled then? Good. I suppose I should just get started with the tale, then, shouldn't I?
I'll begin it in my favorite way, with the words that begin all fairy tales, though this is not exactly what you would consider to be a tale of the fairies. If you'd rather hear something about them, then perhaps I'll send you to a friend of mine, who would certainly be better able to tell you about those. This is, rather, a tale of monsters, you see. Still here? Good. Then I'll begin.
Once upon a time, when I was a younger girl, my family and I lived in an old house in the city, which, as I came to find, was quite the haunted old mansion. My parents would often walk through ghosts, with nary a bit of realization, other
A Carpenter's DaughterA Carpenter's DaughterA Carpenter's Daughter9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This memory song is late in coming.
The joiner was broken before his work
was complete; the hammer is silent now.
The saw and the rule are dusty with age,
his workbench torn out two summers past, but
I still remember the smell of pinesap and resin
and roofing tar. I am a carpenter's daughter.
My father created cavalries of wood,
sawhorses to hold steady the workday load.
These rigid chargers of lumber, emblazoned
with chalk dust, like fierce warpainted steeds.
His children rode reckless like savages on
mounts of sticky white pine, hammersong
like hooves striking flint, ringing out around.
Across the horizon of my distant youth,
I was enthralled with my father's level.
The forging of alignment, the truth of it,
a tool that quarters no compromise.
A carpenter trims the world and makes it
flush and planed and square, but now
the bubble is no longer between the lines.
He told me not to weep for the mighty trees
who cleaved for the axe with honor and grace;
The RoomThe room was small, built in the shape of a sphere. The walls, floor and ceiling were all painted a bright, blinding white, creating a cold and unfeeling setting. There was no visible discrepancy to the sphere's shape. There was nothing else in the room, and it was kept lit by an unidentifiable source of light. There were no windows, and the only door that led outside blended in seamlessly with the walls. There was no way to tell left from right, front from back. And in the middle of the sphere sat a man.The Room11 years ago in Horror More Like This
His raven black hair was long, dirty and fell to his shoulders in matted locks. He wore a plain white shirt, or at least a shirt that had once been white. Now it had been stained a dull brown-red by blood. He wore a pair of khaki trousers, torn and ripped almost to shreds, and his feet were bare. His nails were long, untrimmed and sharp. His arms were cuffed firmly behind his back, and no matter what he tried they would not come free. His eyes fixed themselves on the section of the sp
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 7THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS PART 7!! 601-700!!THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 76 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
601. Tape posters on walls upside down because of special prescription contacts
602. Sing a song that really annoys people. If asked to stop, sing louder.
603. If you dont know the answer, make one up.
604. Pretend you know kung-fu and make really stupid noises while doing it.
605. Read the last page first.
606. If someone annoys you, do something equally annoying back (depending on who you're dealing with, this may last for days).
607. Blow your nose at the dinner table.
608. Unhook peoples necklaces.
6L0L9. Give yourself (and maybe others) really bad haircuts.
610. Rename all of your songs on someone's computer to the names of other ones (so Walk this way becomes Sweet Child O Mine).
611. See how much cheese you can eat in 3 minutes.
612. Open your mouth and ask people to guess what youre eating at that moment.
613. Keep all of your eraser bits in a neat little pile.
Little old lightbulbLittle old lightbulb,Little old lightbulb9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
all burnt out?
A twist at the neck
A twist at the neck
eliminates doubt -
little old lightbulb?
All burnt out.
The Edward Cullen Joke What does Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common?The Edward Cullen Joke6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Their balls are for decoration.
O, For A Muse Of FireShe liked to watch him play the violin. She wasn't sure why - but she could not truthfully imagine anything more pleasurable than crouching down near to where he stood in all his rag-festooned glory, the ground at his feet littered with old newspaper and discarded plastic cups - and just listening , her bright eyes fixed on the long, crooked nose bent toward his instrument and the lengthy shadow he cast, set to trembling by the flickering light of passing subway cars.O, For A Muse Of Fire9 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It gave her a curious sense of ownership, and of pride, to know that she alone, out of all the people who had ever heard this music, understood the melodies that this man wove like tapestries of light over the deafened ears of men and women who rushed past day in and day out. She, alone, knew that to fling coins into the battered violin case sitting open beside him with that careless flick of the benevolent, alm-giving wrist would be as much of an insult to him as a slap in the face - perhaps moreso.
He was not an old man
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 1THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS!THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 16 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Written by Redhatpieman
And a whole bunch of friends
Thanks to you all! ^^
1. Pretend to be a famous celebrity and demand free stuff.
2. Change all of your Ss to Zs.
3. Only talk like a gangster.
4. If someone says excuse me, respond with oh, youre excused.
5. When counting, say each number in every language you know.
6. Write random appointments on other peoples day planners.
7. Do the You just won a million dollars NOT! trick over and over again.
8. Sing songs louder and faster than everyone else (the alphabet works too).
9. Use plastic wastebaskets as humongous cups.
10. Waste time when playing Scrabble by challenging every single word played
11. Ask your waiter to put your water in the doggy bag.
12. Get a bunch of your friends to walk up one by one to someone and say that they feel sorry for them.
13. Whenever you see someone on TV with a blurred out face, say, oh
Pokemon ListYou Know You're Addicted to Pokčmon When…Pokemon List9 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. You turn your room into a Pokčmon shrine.
2. You're late for school because you just have to get your Pokčmon to the next level.
3. You know how to work the Missing Num. code.
4. You sleep in Squirtle pajamas.
5. You've filled your Red/Blue Pokčdex in a day.
6. You know how to capture Mew.
7. You say 'Pikachu' when you sneeze instead of 'achoo'.
8. You know exactly what Pikachu is saying whenever it speaks.
9. You can play 'Lugia's Song' on a flute.
10. You know the Team Rocket motto, both Jessie and James' and Butch and Cassidy's.
11. You buy a flamethrower and pretend to be a Charizard.
12. You know that Misty loves Ash.
13. You make replicas of the gym badges.
14. When you go to the store, you complain to the manager that Pokč Balls aren't in stock.
15. You hum the Pokčmon theme music wherever you go.
16. You trade your bike for a rare Pokčmon card.
17. Whenever you take a bath, you put a rubber duck in first to test for Gyrados.
25 Random Insults Comebacks25 Random Insults and Comebacks25 Random Insults Comebacks6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
1. You: Your hair is messed up.
Person: Your brain is messed up.
You: At least I have one
2. It's funny, how a [guy, girl] like you can have such a tiny brain and still have a huge mouth
3. Man: Havent I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore.
4. Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
5. Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: Im a female impersonator.
6. Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
7. Man: If I could see you naked, Id die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, Id probably die laughing.
8. Youre so slow it takes you an hour and a half to watch Sixty Minutes.
9. I don't think you are an idiot, but then what's MY opinion against everyone else's?
10. I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
11. I don't know what makes you so freaking stupid, but it really works!
12. If we were to kill e
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 6 THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS PART 6!!!! 501-600!!!THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 66 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
501. Open every window in the house when it rains.
502. When looking at clouds, say that cloud looks like a cloud.
503. Make a Calvin and Hobbes type duplicator out of cardboard.
504. Call animals by their scientific names.
505. Build a snowman and do brain surgery on it.
506. Call the library help desk and ask for the definitions for swear words.
507. When it gets really quiet, yell BOOOORRRIIING!!!!!!!
508. Put a lemon in sludge water and sell it as lemonade for $10 a glass.
509. Read your parents favourite book while eating toast.
510. Dont ever use an eraser.
511. Carry a large mirror on a sunny day and flash people in the eye to check for vampires.
512. When people lean back on their chairs, pull on them.
513. Attempt to play the Psycho theme song on a stringed instrument.
514. Exaggerate all of your sneezes and coughs.
515. Laugh nervously at everythi
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 4 THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS PART 4!!!! 301-400THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 46 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
301. Use transparent bingo chips as contact lenses.
302. Keep clicking a pen constantly.
303. Have nothing but dead batteries at home.
304. Give presents with air holes in the box.
305. Write stuff all over someones work with a pen and say that its erasable. Once they realize it isnt, run.
306. When on a ski lift, yell to the guy ahead of you that you are in hot pursuit.
307. Enunciate your words very thoroughly.
308. Set every clock in the house ahead one hour and in the morning, yell WERE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!!!
309. Fire rubber bands directly at peoples crotches.
310. Learn and play a short riff on a piano constantly (like Coldplay or Hawaii Five-O).
311. Save all of your bar soap when it gets really small in a box labeled mints.
312. Fold lots and lots of origami.
313. Always wear spandex pants.
314. Make up new chess moves from other countries like the Bolivian Rook Swi
Snappy comebacks and insults1; Your so stupid, when asked to buy a clolour television you replied "What Colour?"Snappy comebacks and insults8 years ago in Humor More Like This
2; Your mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.
3; Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.
4; Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
5; I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
6; I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
7; Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.
8; Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
9;You are the kind of person that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
10; I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
11; If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
12; When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
13; Earth's full, go hom
Nerd's Phineas and Ferb RantIt all started one day when some fat nerd was sitting at his computer looking at the "many" flaws in Phineas and Ferb that just irritated him. He said to the viewers,Nerd's Phineas and Ferb Rant6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"In the first episode The Rollercoaster, Phineas says he and Ferb have no school for 3 months, but since there's 104 days of summer vacation, they pretty much have 3 and a HALF! But in reality, Summer doesn't last that many days, and neither does summer vacation. Also, originally Doofenshmirtz was called Dr. Heinz MIDDLEshmirtz, but the creators, after selling the rights to Disney, changed it in the final reeling. And in The Fast and the Phineas, Isabella compliments the ribbon on Phineas' car to Fireside Scout Gretchen, and many people didn't know which one was Gretchen, but it was, in fact, the scout who asked if Phineas' engine was electronically fuel injected. And in Raging Bully, you can notice that Ferb's big eye is on the OPPOSITE side of his face when Buford first shows up before Phineas spills the ice cream on hi
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 2 PART 2 OF THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS! 101-200THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 26 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
101. When roasting marshmallows over a fire, keep hitting other people's sticks.
102. Spin various types of coins on a desk while others are working. (whrrrrrr.....)
103. Chew your gum really, really loudly.
104. Make huge dying seagull calls whenever possible.
105. Gasp in surprise randomly when reading a book.
106. Use excessive amounts of duct tape for minor problems.
107. Bombard people with obvious questions (Quick! When was the war of 1812!?)
108. When it gets really quiet, make popping noises.
109. Get a paper towel roll and pretend its a sword by bonking people over the head with it.
110. Breathe in and out really loudly.
111. Set the computer mouse buttons backward by using control panel.
112. And while youre on there, set the keyboards repeat rate to slow.
113. Squeeze a squeaky toy over and over and over again.
114. Pretend youre a German bobble head doll by nodding repeatedly while c
You should date a guy who writesDate a guy who writes. Date a guy whose fingers are stained with ink, whose pockets are filled with pens, and whose eyes smile and dance with curiosity. Date a guy who notices things like the colour of your hair and the way you have your coffee, not because he has to, but just because it’s a habit of his to notice things. Date a guy who can barely get around a computer, but is expert with his word processor. It doesn’t matter; he prefers pen and paper anyway.You should date a guy who writes2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Find a guy who writes. You’ll find him just outside a library. He’ll like the idea of being outside, on the verge of a thousand worlds, a few steps away. He’ll love the idea of being outside, on the brink of one world, a few carefully placed letters away.
Or he will be inside a café. He doesn’t care whether it’s boutique or Gloria Jeans, moodily or well lit, though he likes it there especially when it’s raining. He will be the one with a notebook in one hand, pen in the other,
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 5 THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS PART 5!!! 401-500!!THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 56 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
401. Always count out loud.
402. Attempt to fold paper as many times as possible.
403. Say MEH whenever you exert force.
404. Draw a mustache on every single picture you can find.
405. Breathe in and out really loudly to keep your lungs in shape.
406. Eat dinner for breakfast.
407. Eat breakfast for dinner.
408. Frost cakes with toothpaste.
409. Mix the salt and sugar together to save space.
410. See just how many imitations you can do in public.
411. Pretend that no one exists but you.
412. Smack peoples hands as they drink.
413. If you are the victim of the above, spill the remainder of the drink onto the person who did it to you and claim it was an accident.
414. Write random numbers into newspaper sudokus at restaurants.
415. Be annoying in shifts (thanks to Garfield).
416. If someone asks you to do anything, keep asking "why?" until they do it themselves.
417. Constantly cheat at solitaire.
50 things to do at hot topic1. Go to the hair dye section and randomly "sample" them50 things to do at hot topic8 years ago in Humor More Like This
2. Get a pair of baby shoes and ask an employee if they have it in a size 25
3. Find a pair of destroyed or holey jeans. Take them to the counter, and insist they are defective and you should get a discount.
4. Make a poster that says "free hugs" and stand in the store incessantly singing "I feel pretty"
5. Dance like a maniac in the middle of the sales floor to their music.
6. Go to the clearance section and ask for something from the top shelf. Say it's what you wanted so they put the ladder away. Find the same employee and say you changed your mind so they have to get the ladder out again. Repeat.
7. Ask the cashier if they are single if they say no, wait ten minutes, go back and say "how about now"
8. Bring a friend with you at the store. You tell the Sales people to turn down the music because something wrong with your ear and it cant be exposed to loud music (make sure to hold a lot of their clothes, so they'd think y