The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]Chapter Eight: One Bot and a BabyThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chief Burns slowly seated himself at his kitchen table, relaxing into the plastic chair with a wordless sigh and lifted the mug in his hand, inhaling the warm, bitter smell of his black coffee. "Peace and quiet," he chuckled softly, basking in the simple tranquility. He raised the mug to his lips, about to savor the coffee he had been so deprived of, when
"Dad! I can't find the robo-baby!"
Charlie sighed, setting the mug down with a clack. "Well, it was nice while it lasted. What is it, Kade?"
There was the sound of heavy, continuous footfalls from the floor above before the young man came tromping down the stairs, skidding to a stop before the kitchen table, hair askew and arms in the air.
"That's it! It's been kidnapped!" Kade cried on the verge of hysteria, large hands flying to cover his head in horrified realization. "Call the police! Bring the whole squadron!"
Charlie, not having moved from his seat at the kitchen table, only quirked a
The Strangest of Places [TFP/Rescue Bots]Chapter One: Food for ThoughtThe Strangest of Places [TFP/Rescue Bots]3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chief Charlie Burns liked to think that he was an easygoing guy. Especially for a single dad and police officer.
He was lenient with his children, though he couldn't really call most of them children anymore, and allowed them to have more freedom that most their age, even growing up. Three of the four were full-fledged adults now, and were currently attending Emergency Responders classes, to take up the mantle for the jobs that Griffin Rock so needed.
And then that left Cody.
Still mourning his mother's death four years ago, the boy was usually alone, whether it be at school or at home. Even now, as the chief made dinner in preparation for his elder children's arrival, Cody was up in his room playing video games or building model airplanes, or whatever it was kids his age did. It was disheartening, to say the least.
As Charlie stirred several pieces of chicken breast on the sizzling frying pan, his brow furrowed as he brooded, and decided that pe
The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]Chapter Nine: A Little too SeriouslyThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Kade jolted, whipping himself around, gun and all, to face the threat. An unending line of trees greeted him, and he slowly rotated, uneven breaths sprouting in clouds of vapor, beads of sweat running across his brow and down his neck.
The woods around him were dark, shadowy, and seemingly desolate. This apparent fact did nothing to calm him.
"Well, this is what I get for having a wimp like Blades as a partner," he joked softly to himself, in a failed attempt to downplay his predicament. He gulped, eyes darting around the bare forest surrounding him, Adam's apple bobbing, before he moved forward to continue on his way. He hadn't even taken a step before a volley of projectiles erupted from the dense bushes, nearly each one hitting its mark, the sound of them piercing flesh gleefully affecting the covert attacker.
Kade's scream could be heard high above the forest canopy.
"Kade? Kade, do you copy?"
Dani waited impatiently for her brother
[Rescue Bots]The Strangest of Places: Chapter TwoChapter Two: Overprotective[Rescue Bots]The Strangest of Places: Chapter Two3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The sun was setting, leaving the clear skies of Griffin Rock aflame with orange and pink, as the young woman exited the firehouse she called home. There was a defined skip in her step and a smile on her pleasant face as she made her way past the building, and onto the basketball court, where an orange and white helicopter waited for her, along with a sloppily dressed blonde youth, around the same age as her.
Dani smiled as she approached, raising a hand in greeting. "Hey, Milo."
The young man mimicked her greeting, his beanie falling into his eyes. "Hi, Dani." Milo watched the woman as she drew closer, gaze flickering to the helicopter beside him. "So, you're sure that your dad won't mind me taking a closer look at the copter here?"
The pilot laughed aloud, stopping before the blonde man and placing a hand on her hip, and the other on the helicopter's door. "'Course not. As long as you don't damage anything, my helicopter bot is open to inspection. Let m
The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]Chapter Six: Facing DemonsThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Graham?" Boulder called, poking his head into one of the rooms that made up the bunker. The frames of various computers and consoles stood out against the gloom, and the only sounds the bot heard were the whirring and buzzing of machinery. Boulder hummed thoughtfully and turned to leave, when the resonance of soft breathing caught his attention.
Carefully toggling the light switch, the fluorescent lights overhead turned on, flickering for a moment before stabling. "I'll have to fix those," Boulder rumbled as he stepped further inside, watching his steps as to not crush as precious tech.
"Graham?" he said again, walking past an enormous machine, by human standards, at least, that the bot's partner had mentioned was for monitoring the tide level around the docks. A message pinged against his processor and Boulder opened the link.
"Boulder?" Chief's voice came over the com line, "Have you found Graham yet? It's not like him to disappear like this..."
Strangest of PlacesChapter Eleven: A New FaceStrangest of Places3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Transformers Prime/ Rescue Bots Crossover
"Fragging 'Cons fragging Optimus .fragging organic planet "
The Rescue Bot instantly quieted, his train of curses continuing silently in his processor as he suddenly became mindful of the child in his cab. "Yeah, Cody?" he answered once he was sure his tone had leveled. The boy was nervously fiddling with the hem of his jacket, a sure sign of his unease.
"Um why exactly are we all the way out here?" Cody cast a glance outside the bot's window, where the Griffin Rock peak could be seen on one side, sheer cliffs extending to churning waters on the other. Were it anyone else asking him that question, Heatwave would've explodedrattling off curses, insults, and the like, but being that it was Cody who was inquiring, not Kade or Blades, he answered in a calm, daresay normal fashion.
"We received an alert from Optimus about some Decepticon sightings nearby," Heatwave began succin
The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]: Ch. ThreeChapter Three: Mother's DayThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]: Ch. Three3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chase was the first one out of recharge, as usual, and he transformed into his bipedal mode, stretching involuntarily, as he often saw the humans do. Walking over to the other side of the bunker, footfalls echoing, he found himself in front of the video screen that resided along the wall. He bent over, pushing one of the buttons that led to the Chief's com line. After a few seconds of static, the bedraggled, pajama-wearing form of the elder man filled the screen.
The police-bot dipped his head. "Good morning, Chief Burns."
Charlie smiled, but to Chase's mind it seemed somewhat forced. "Hey, Chase. How's your morning been?"
"Nothing to report, sir," Chase informed him as the chief took a long swing of coffee from the mug in his hands. The bot then noticed his partner's obvious lack of uniform. "Chief Burns," he began, an optical ridge rising, "were we not supposed to go on patrol this morning?"
"Hm? Oh, no, not today, Chase," Charlie said tiredly, expres
Exploration and Relocation Ch. 3Transformers Prime/ Rescue Bots CrossoverExploration and Relocation Ch. 33 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chapter Three: Irregular Orbit
Griffin Rock was considered to be one of the most idyllic and quaint towns of the East Coast, coupled with its plethora of high-end technology that seemed more like it had come out of some science fiction movie than the work of diligent, genius human scientists. And it also happened to be a natural and unnatural disaster zone.
Tires shrieking, a banged up white sports car tore down a busy street, swerving violently to avoid pedestrians, other vehicles, buildings, and the like. Not everyone was lucky enough to be avoided so easily though, and several citizens had to dodge or throw themselves out of the car's way, many yelling curses in its wake. A few minutes into its rampage a group of rescue vehicles sped around the corner, one in the air and three by land, doing their best to catch up to the speeder.
"What does this half-clock think he's doing?" Heatwave asked aloud, and his partner grumbled dangerously.
30 Ways Smokescreen30 Ways Smokescreen2 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TFP Smokescreen Mentally Unstable
1. Throw an angry dog at him more than once.
2. Knock him out and hang him by the tips of his pedes on the door outside the Autobot base.
3. Do your best impression of the dance from PSY's "Gangnam Style" whenever the rookie Autobot is trying to fall into recharge.
4. Dress as Slenderman and stalk Smokescreen at every waking moment.
5. Put in red contact lenses, dress in red clothes, stuff pillows onto your shoulders, and call yourself "Knock Out".
6. Ask him if he's a virgin.
7. Ask him why.
8. Stand up on the kitchen table during dinner and recite excerpts from Smokescreen's journal.
9. Hug him.
11. Go up to Ratchet's desk and stand in front of the various samples of Energon and such. Motion towards the deadliest poison on there while Smokescreen is with you and shout, "Dang, that stuff tasted good!"
12. Make flyers declaring the opening of "Smokescreen's Dutch Music Bar".
13. Pretend to be a ventriloquist.
The Strangest of PlacesChapter 10: Five Things for an Autobot to do in Griffin RockThe Strangest of Places3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Transformers Prime/ Rescue Bots Crossover
"All righty, have I got this plugged in correctly, Cody?" Blades called worriedly to his small, blonde-haired companion who had been explaining what was going on to Bumblebee.
Cody quickly raced over and examined every wirelast time they had let Blades near electrical equipment he had started a fire. Moments later the boy exhaled in relief when he didn't find anything hazardous and sent both bots a thumbs-up.
"Everything looks fine. Good job, Blades." As the helicopter-bot grinned bashfully Cody turned on the television and picked up one of the microphones before facing his friends. "Okay, Bumblebee, do you understand what you're supposed to do?" The scout nodded, buzzing happily.
As Cody inserted the correct CD Blades turned elatedly to the Autobot beside him. "Oh, I'm glad you decided to stay a few more days, Bumblebee! You'll love karaoke, trust me. The first
The Strangest of PlacesOwedThe Strangest of Places2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Transformers Prime/Rescue Bots Crossover
It was early Sunday morning when Cody detected the Cybertronian life signal on the mainland.
Chase and Boulder had added the scanner to the command center's tech after their return from Moropolis, a case of paranoia in one and tactfully hidden caution in the other. The sensor's range extended all the way to the next state, just in case any other Autobots came near or happened to intercept Optimus Prime's message. In truth, they all knew it was a countermeasure against Decepticon attack.
Cody had been alone in the command center when the scanner chimed, and the boy had nearly leapt out of his seat at the unfamiliar sound. The Rescue Bots were down in the bunker, recharging or watching television, Kade and Graham were still asleep, and Dani in her pajamas and Charlie had yet to drink his morning coffee.
All Sunday morning plans were torn asunder by the boy's panicked announcement at 0800 hours. The boy's sibling scrambled to get into th
30 Ways Ratchet30 Ways Ratchet4 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TFP Ratchet Angrier than He Already Is
1. Change the base's alarm tone to "Spy vs. Spy"
2. Put Gorilla Glue on the button to his comlink and watch as he presses his fingers to it.
4. Empty out a jar of frogs into his spare parts drawer.
5. Run around him in circles wearing a miner's hardhat.
6. Dig up the grounds in front of the base and claim you are mining for diamonds.
7. Hug him.
9. (If you are a male) Take a seat next to him as he is on break and slowly scoot next to him. Demurely stutter out that you "missed your last period" and that the both of you are pregnant. This works especially well if this is the first time you have seen or spoken to him that day.
10. Scream to him that "FOOTIE PAJAMAS CAN TALK!!" and perch on his head and refuse to relocate yourself.
11. Make moonshine and offer Optimus a generous glass.
12. Replace his energon with stagnant pond water.
13. Sing "Like a G6" and make multiple batches of "sizzurp
The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]Chapter Four: Less Known than SaidThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
There were some days when Heatwave just couldn't stand his partner. This was one of those days.
Of course, it didn't help that the bot had "accidentally" run over Kade's foot when in vehicular form, but the human had been ill-tempered from the beginning of the day. Heatwave wasn't attuned to any of the humans' personal lives, but according to Cody, Kade's irritability was due to the fact that some human female had negated his advances and turned down the fireman's invitation of a night out a "date", or so he was told. Humans made so little sense, sometimes.
Heatwave was abruptly returned to his current reality, and mentally winced as Kade slammed his booted foot down onto the accelerator, gunning the bot's engine on what was supposed to be a calm patrol through town. Heatwave had to figuratively bite back a scathing remark at the impertinent action, as he was exhausted from a full day's work that had entailed salvaging what he and the others
Figgy Puddin' Is Not a RepellentIt was always silent at night in Griffin Rock with the exception of nocturnal animals roaming about. However, it wasn't an eerie quiet nor was it peaceful. It was just…dull, especially in the winter. The cold atmosphere caused a child to shiver and roused him from his slumber. He reached his arm out to wrap a blanket around him, and noticed something white at his window. The boy rubbed his eyes. Nothing interesting really ever happened in Griffin Rock. That is, until the Bots came. Yes, everything became more exciting. No more same old boring news. No more watching and waiting behind the sidelines. No more being left out for Cody Burns.Figgy Puddin' Is Not a Repellent2 years ago in Humor More Like This
It was in the middle of the night; the Rescue Bots awoke from their stasis nap to Cody screaming to the top of his lungs. "Hey, guys! Wake up!" Cody yelled as he ran back and forth to each autobot beckoning them to follow him. "It's snowing!"
"Snow?" It wasn't lo
RB Fic: Extinguishing HeatTitle: Extinguishing HeatRB Fic: Extinguishing Heat3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Pairing: Heatwave/Blades; Blades/Optimus; mentioned Blades/Boulder/Chase
Rating for cut version: R
Warnings for cut version: slash
Disclaimer: I do not own Rescue Bots characters. I make no profit from this.
Heatwave was bored, aimlessly roaming around the base in search of something interesting, anything, to pass the time. His partner, Kade, was sick with the flu and currently resting. He had visited with Kade earlier, although both had sat in awkward silence, but he immediately bolted when the human began vomiting. With his partner ill, he couldn't leave and help with emergencies, so Chase and Boulder were working overtime with their partners. He remembered that Blades' partner, Dani, had also fallen ill, but he hadn't seen the copter all day. Due to Blades' skittish nature, he doubted the copter was spending time with a sick, and probably very grumpy, Dani. With nothing else to do, he curiously searched for Blades throughout the base, becoming irritated whe
The Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]Chapter Five: In Sickness and in HealthThe Strangest of Places [Rescue Bots]3 years ago in Humor More Like This
"And this virus is commonly known as a 'cold'?" Chase inquired, looking over Chief Charlie Burns, who sat petulantly on the living room couch bundled in a thick blanket. The bot had managed to squeeze into the rather spacious area, and now sat beside his partner.
Charlie nodded. "Yes. There's no cure for it," he said thickly, nose stuffed up. He sneezed loudly, wiping his nose with a tissue and adding to the already growing pile on the coffee table while Chase attempted to pretend that he wasn't disgusted by the action. "I'd rather be out on patrol though," Chief continued.
"And why aren't you?" Chase asked, curious. "Even though I'm rather against it, with you in such a weakened state, you do appear quite adamant."
The chief of police chuckled weakly. "Well, when Dani puts her foot down there's no getting around it."
Chase fell silent, in what the humans had dubbed as the "surfing-the-web" silence, before he spoke again. "According to my res
Exploration and Relocation Ch. 4Transformers Prime/Rescue Bots CrossoverExploration and Relocation Ch. 43 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chapter Four: Star struck
"Perfect for any skin type!"
"Next on America's Most Wanted"
"No, Spike, it's too dangerous!"
"I have to, Carly!"
Blades glanced down at the small blonde boy beside him with a concerned expression, optical ridges furrowed. The helicopter-bot had invited Cody over to the living room portion of the bunker to watch some television, but the boy had been clicking through channels with the air of someone who was not all there, a frown etched into his features.
Wringing his servos, Blades hedged, "Cody, are you feeling okay?" The boy glanced up at him, and the television remained on a human soap opera.
"What do you mean, Blades?" Cody blinked, setting the remote down.
The helicopter-bot shrugged weakly. "I don't know...you seem sad."
Cody looked away, fiddling with the remote in his hands. "Ah, not really, Blades. A bit disappointed, I guess, but nothing you should worry about." He met th
Exploration and Relocation Ch. 5Chapter Five: A Fine MessExploration and Relocation Ch. 53 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Transformers: Prime/ Rescue Bots
Frankie actually jumped at the sound of the concussive explosion reverberating through the domestic portion of The Lab, this one louder than any other she'd ever heardand living with her father, she had heard a lot of explosions. The book she'd been reading on natural selection slipped out of her grasp and fell onto the carpet, though she didn't bother to pick it upshe was already out the door and heading towards her father's private lab.
Her heart in her throat, Frankie unlocked the thick metal doors with a swipe of her keycard, and they whooshed opened for her with the familiar hiss of hydraulics. Frankie was instantly swamped in a cloud of thick black smoke that swept out into the hallway, and coughing, she made her way through it.
"Daddy?" she croaked, squinting through the murk.
"Over here, my dear!" came her father's comforting response, and she was finally able to make out her father's silhouette, s
30 Ways Optimus30 Ways Optimus4 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TPF Optimus Punch You in the Face
1. Paint a mouth with big, luscious lips on his mouthplate when he has it on.
2. Put a dead iguana in his energon.
3. Threaten to tell the world that he sleeps with a stuffed llama.
4. Whack Ratchet in the back of the head with a shovel. When he turns around to find the perpetrator and disperse justice, place the gardening tool into Optimus' hands and point innocently at him.
5. Perform a cannibalistic ritual in front of the Autobot base which involves tying Bumblebee to a pole and dancing around him with a spear. Whenever someone walks by, screech at them to frighten them off.
6. Declare yourself the king (or queen) of Iacon and dye your hair a shade of neon green.
7. Dress in a banana suit and sing "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" while he is the medbay.
8. Tie a steel cable around Bulkhead's neck, get on his back, and make him run down the hall towards Optimus shouting, "YEEEEE-HAAAAW!!"
9. At completely random moment
30 Ways Wheeljack30 Ways Wheeljack2 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TFP Wheeljack Take Up Drinking
1. Introduce him to Fanfiction.net's section on Rated M BulkXJack fanfictions.
2. Put superglue on your hand.
3. Use the same hand to touch his aft.
4. Take the Jackhammer out for a joyride.
5. Juggle several of his grenades, being careful not to activate them (unintentionally anyway).
6. When he comes into the Autobot base, shout, "Hurray, you're back!!" Start to dance around for five minutes straight. Suddenly stop and start staring at your watch on and off for a few moments before saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
7. Hug him.
9. Blurt out and reenact random quotes from "The Great Gatsby" whenever he tries to have a decent conversation with someone.
10. Whenever he makes any mention of Hardshell or the other Insecticons, start smacking him with a random fly swatter.
11. Do the moonwalk.
12. Etch your name into his helm while he is in recharge.
13. Stare for long periods of time at a picture of Starscream
30 Ways Soundwave30 Ways Soundwave4 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TFP Soundwave Speak in Profanities
1. Play the "All Your Base are Belong to Us Remix" all hours of the night.
2. Pull him from a chair and say, "Come Soundwave, it is time to dance!" followed by a waltz with the no-faced Decepticon.
3. Use Laserbeak as a hang-glider.
4. Move all the equipment in his quarters to the left side, leaving absolutely nothing behind on the right. When he comes in, ask him how much an elephant weighs. When he somehow responds, look at the left side of his room with concern.
5. Have yourself at the end of the hallway opposite of Breakdown. Run at high speed towards him. As you get closer and at the last second, throw yourself into a ball and crash into his abdominal paneling.
6. Tell him Soundwave made you do it.
7. Hug him.
9. As he is (somehow) eating an energon bran muffin, watch him. As he finishes it up, say, "Wow, you're eating that? Hope it tastes better than it
RB Fic: Drunk PlaytimeTitle: Drunk PlaytimeRB Fic: Drunk Playtime3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Rating for cut version: R
Warnings for cut version: crack!, kink, slash, tentacles
Disclaimer: I do not own Rescue Bots characters. I make no profit from this.
A/N: Sequel to this. http://geminigirl83.deviantart.com/#/d4s8uxh
For once in a long time, Heatwave felt excited. The human family he been tasked to help and protect had left on a three day vacation to visit relatives on the mainland. It was decided that it would be too much of a hassle, along with a high risk of exposure to their true nature, to take them to the city. Big robots wouldn't fit in well in a crowded city, and while the family was away, they had to stay inside the base. He didn't mind this. It would be nice to just spend time with his team and not have to act like a mindless slave in front of the human residents on the island. It also gave him an opportunity to be intimate with Blades, something he hadn't been able to do since he first interfaced with the
30 Ways Breakdown30 Ways Breakdown4 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Ensure Death at the Hands of TFP Breakdown
1. Write a lemony BulkheadXBreakdown fanfiction.
2. Push him out the window and into the waiting arms of his fangirls.
3. Spike his energon with Viagra.
4. Put bubblegum on his eye patch.
5. Dress yourself up as one of the "Knights Who Say 'Ne' and follow him around while repeating the word "Ne" in an extremely high-pitched voice.
6. Hug him.
8. Brag to everyone you see that Breakdown has the BIGGEST crush on Airachnid.
9. Dress as Santa Claus in the middle of June and force every Minibot you see to sit in your lap and recant a list of desired items.
10. Dress as a rabbi and attempt to "fly" off the deck of the Nemesis.
11. Make up a parody of "Which Backstreet Boy is Gay?" that goes along the lines of, "-One big 'Con is thaaaaaat way- We all know Breeeeaakdown's gay; Tell me why! Ain't sayin' he likes Knooock Out! Tell me why! Ain't sayin' he likes Sooouuundwave! Tell me why!
30 Ways Starscream30 Ways Starscream4 years ago in Humor More Like This
30 Ways to Make TFP Starscream Fire Missiles at You
1. Talk through all hours of the day about M-rated MegsXScream fanfiction.
2. Send a letter to Knockout that describes his fluffiest and lemony feelings of romance for the medic signed with the second-in-command's name.
3. Throw balloons filled with taco sauce at random Vehicon troops as they pass by Starscream's quarters.
4. Walk backwards behind him while playing the ukulele for three straight hours.
5. Hug him.
7. Decorate the interior of his quarters with catalog cut-outs of weed whackers.
8. Replace his energon with Clorox toilet bowl cleaner.
9. Spew out numerous quotes from "Pride and Prejudice".
10. Keep this up whenever he gives a motivational speech.
11. Place a pile of bananas on his crotch while he is in sleep mode and see how long it takes him to notice.
12. Continuously remark that his legs look like he's wearing women's high-heeled boots.
13. Tape a picture of Optimus Prime to his rear and lead him past Skyq