I'm Still HereI am screaming again and
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.
My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.
I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.
My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.
I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream until my voice breaks
And there is nothing left.
I am hollow.
I am empty.
I am too far gone.
I Hope You Haven'tHave you everI Hope You Haven't4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Felt pain to the point
You are entirely numb
And can no longer tell
That you are not breathing?
Have you ever
Been so hopelessly in love
That when he was gone
You were left with a hole
Where your heart should be?
Has the idea of happiness
Ever seemed so far away
That you thought
You would never reach it?
Have you ever
Thought you were worthless
So much that you
Lost the desire for life?
I hope you haven't felt the way I did.
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know
Self-InflictedSelf-InflictedSelf-Inflicted3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I just hate myself.
I hate the life that I lead.
I hate the things that I've done.
I keep trying to figure out.
Where it is exactly that I went wrong.
No matter how hard I try to evade
And blame others for my actions.
At some point I am forced to accept.
That the problem resides within me
And the answer remains absent.
I am the common dominator.
I am the back stabbing selfish traitor.
It's nothing to do with how I was raised
Or the credentials and intentions of my creators.
We choose our own paths.
We make our own decisions.
It is only us that determine what kind of life we lead.
There may be externa
Distant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .They say it's difficult to love someoneDistant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When you can't even love yourself.
But I loved you nonetheless,
The problem was I didn't know when to stop.
You kept sending me mixed signs
Making me dizzy until I
Much less right
When our world started crumbling down and
T e a r i n g at the seams
It was so easy for you to let it fall apart.
But I, knowing no other kind of love,
desperately clung to the remaining bits,
Trying to put them back together.
Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,
They kept growing and
growing a p a r t,
until your world was only yours
and mine a hollow echo of its past.
Looking back now, it seems like it
All happened in a different life,
With some other you, some other me,
And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
Discarded.You cry for your sorrows and you bleed for your dreams,Discarded.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just always remember, this world is not what it seems.
You can be the best of friends and then disappear,
They'll just discard you, I know it's hard to hear.
But this has happened enough to me,
It's all everyone's been doing recently.
So here I lie, discarded, fearing to stand up,
Because what waits just isn't worth getting up.
Thrown away and lying in a puddle of mud and blood,
All the other times I got up, and wiped off the mud.
But this time, as I lie here, broken and bloody,
I don't want to get up, I want to be a dead body.
I know getting up is inevitable, because I will never give in,
But I really just want to give up and say that "I'm done in."
Please, don't give up.You’re not alone, even if you feel such sorrowPlease, don't give up.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please try to calm your mind and forget about tomorrow
I know that life can hurt, but from my happiness you can borrow
Please don't cry anymore, I will help you with the troublesome morrow
Even if the bad seem to be everywhere you go
Just keep in mind that you have to stay away from what’s below
And I know that you’ll learn from these bad experiences
So then you can help those who are inexperienced
Please don’t be sad, everyone has a reason for his or her existence
You can’t ever give up, push through and have resistance
The worst thing you could do is to lose all of your hope
Just promise me that you will try to never mope
Your StoryI'd much rather cry for youYour Story3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
'Cause my story is too painful to share
I'd much rather smile for you
'Cause my story is too painful to bare
So come here and I'll wrap my arms around you
Come here and I'll let your story shine
But after you share your story
Please don't ask me about mine
If only I could play the violin
I'd share my past through sorrowful chords
Vibrato on strings would be my voice
Fighting my demons with imaginary swords
Although I'm limited to words on paper
And the words aren't sung by a beautiful voice
These words make my story into a song
And this song confronts you with a choice
You can close your eyes
And pretend this is a fairytale
Pretend it's a meaningless story
That was never once true
Or you can open your eyes
And realise deep down
That the story isn't just about me
That you're the main character too
If you don't want to tell your story
As it is, spoken word to word
Turn your art into your voice
And you will always be heard
A picture speaks a thousand words
I Love You, In A WayI love you in a way that keepsI Love You, In A Way3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Me from sleeping at night,
In a way that crushes my heart
Whenever I see her.
It makes it hard for me to write anything
Because I love you and
Hate you all at the same time,
And all I’m doing is confusing everyone.
I want you to love me
All night long just one time,
And I want you to make me not
Regret it the very next day.
I want to throw my arms around
You whenever I see you,
And remember what it was
Like to feel cared for.
Your bed isn’t comfortable anymore,
Nor is your body,
But you still give me the best
Sleep I’ve ever had.
I hope someday I will be younger,
And that I will be out of love with you.
I hope someday you will be older,
And that you will understand.
Just to FeelI would cutJust to Feel3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it
Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside
To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel
Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel
Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it
I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel
Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...
When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although IWhen I'm Gone3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.
Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.
I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize that I’m not there,
And that it is because of you.
Believe me when I say I don’t
Miss you, and that I never could have
Possibly been in love with you.
I want you to see what you've done,
And actually mean it when you say you’re sorry.
I want so many things that will never happen
All because you were better than I was.
NightmaresI don't want to fall asleepNightmares3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I can't bare to close my eyes
I can't stand what's inside my head
Be it made of truth or lies
'Cause when I fall asleep
The nightmares take place
The worst things I can imagine
Scarier than any screaming face
In my dreams
I see you there
But you're hurting me on purpose
And you don't seem to care
I see you with other girls
And you look so happy
And I'm stood there screaming
Telling you it should be me
But you're not listening
You're too busy having fun
I can't get away from what I'm seeing
No matter how much I try to run
I'm seeing you with girlfriends
I've never even heard of
Telling them they're beautiful
As I start to sob
Then I wake up in the dark
And I'm lying here alone
With no one here to comfort me
Just me on my own
You may think the worst part is over
But it's only just begun
'Cause when I go back to sleep
I know I'll have another one
Nightmares that leave me crying
When I wake up in bed
Wishing every night
That they would stay out my head
But I kno
I'm TryingI'm Trying.I'm Trying3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What more do you want from me?
Can't you see I'm trying my hardest?
I'm trying to make something of myself.
I know nothing is promised and I may not be the fastest.
I know my attempts have not resulted in any form of wealth.
What more can I do to prove to you that this is what I want?
I can see you are finding it difficult to get past this.
You think there is more I can do to help myself.
You can see that I'm struggling; I never tried to mask this.
I want you to understand that this is something I must do for myself.
But all that I will ask for you is,
I hope that one day you will believe in me.
Believe in everything that I am trying to accomplish.
You don't have to necessarily agree with me.
But I promise that one day both you and the world will be astonished.
And on that day hopefully you will be able to see the drive in me.
Hopefully you will be able to see the fight in me.
Hopefully you will see the person that I am trying to be...come.
And all I will want you to say is
They SayThey Say.They Say3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
They say there is always a silver lining.
But right now my future looks bleak.
They say the sky is the limit.
But my vision is blocked by a mountain peak
They say life is a game.
But I was never any good at hide and seek.
They say were all different.
But does that mean that were all unique.
They say everyone wants to win.
But I have no desire to compete.
They say there are plenty more fish in the sea.
But they didn't say whether the water's shallow or deep.
They say everyone is searching for the same answer.
But I have'nt got it in me to cheat.
They say I'm too negative.
But I know this also comes hand in hand with defeat.
They say a healthy mind is a healthy body.
But I'm not to obsessed with my physique.
They say some situations you must face, face to face.
But sometimes I am not willing to turn the other cheek.
They told me some day I'd be someone great.
But I know that's a promise they cant keep.
They say sometimes shit just happens.
But I've recently discovere
I'm Honestly OkayI'm fine.I'm Honestly Okay3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm always fine.
I'm sorry if I am acting odd,
But honestly, I'm fine.
She looks away when you catch her eye,
Asks you how you are,
Even though you have just asked the same...
Does this not seem strange?
She acts like being fine,
Is all part of the job description,
She bottles it up inside,
I wonder what she hides.
She sits down and listens to your problems,
Listens and thinks intently,
But have you not seen that far off look in her eyes,
That appears every once in a while?
It never stays for long,
Pops in then straight back out,
Sometimes she has to shake herself,
To bring her thoughts back to reality.
Do you ever notice,
How she never says whats truly on her mind?
Does it worry you?
Keep you up at night?
Her skirt it twirls,
In the midnight sun,
As she spins around,
Never letting you see what she holds.
When you get an honest answer,
When she can look you in the eye,
When you ask how are you,
And do not recieve a lie.
Only then will you truly know her,
LiarYour words are wovenLiar3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Together so carefully
That no one could possibly
Find a single hole in them.
No one can see the emotions you hide,
Or what you really did last night.
No one can see the real you.
No one, but me.
MaskHave you ever worn a mask for so longMask3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That you're afraid to take it off,
And breathe in the purity
Of the unfiltered world outside?
Would your lungs be able to take it?
Or burst trying?
Have you ever worn a mask for so long
That you're afraid to take it off
Because no one might recognize you?
Would you recognize yourself?
Have you ever worn a mask for so long
That you're afraid to take it off,
Because you don't know anymore
If there's anything underneath?
AbuseHer fragile body clings to the wall for support. His harsh beatings rain down on her body continuously. A scream elicits from her mouth after each punch. Each one muffled by the large, unscaleable walls of this dreaded place. All of his beatings break her inside. Slowly. Her body adjusting to the constant pain. Pale skin, covered in dark bruises. Some old, some new. Each one a reminder. Each one brings forth painful memories. Ones she wished were just nightmares. Silently he mocks her with each beating. But every time he opens his mouth, his words are as horrific as the beatings. Once he grows bored, he leaves her there to suffer. But before he leaves her there on the floor, broken. The same seven words leave his mouth each time. Tearing her to pieces and reducing her to tears once again.Abuse6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"I'm doing this because I love you "
Of BlissKissing daffodils sway,Of Bliss3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
serenaded by the waver of
faces blushing bright
as the sunlight
What do you see?When you look into my eyesWhat do you see?3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
What do you see?
When you speak my name
When you pull me close
Are you really that broken?
So you no longer feel the love I give
The affection I show
Or the hope my eyes try to be
Come over here now
Tell me your truth
Show me those tears
And I'll tell you my truth
Show you my fears
I'll tell you about a girl
A girl who found hope in the most hopeless boy
Let me wipe the dripping sorrow of your cheeks
as I figure out what you need right now
Let me be the first person ever to be there for you
I'll tell you this story,
I'm sure you will appreciate it
the girl is cute and boy so strong
A happy ending too, just as it should be
Just as it will be
So come over here now
Crawl up into my arms
Let me listen to your heartbeat
so I can hear you be alive and healthy with me
and I'll let you listen to my calming voice
so you can relax and learn how to rely on someone
Then tell me, when you look into my eyes
what do you see?
Short-LivedShort-Lived.Short-Lived3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Has it got to take a sudden death of a loved one.
For us to realise how fickle and unpredictable life is.
Despite our best efforts to delude and cowardly run.
We may share our lives with others but we are destined to be divided.
Life and death are both a part of a mutual consented sum.
Money will come and go but we all know what the fixed price is.
So although you may think the worst is yet to come.
No matter the occasion whether it be
The Intelligent Are So SadA cascade of words parade around,The Intelligent Are So Sad3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with thoughts of atoms and connotation.
She is brilliant, they say,
but she knows she is lost.
Numbers are her companion,
she understands their mean, average.
Words can twist her brain,
she loves the wonder they bring.
She is intelligent, they say,
she doesn't feel clever enough.
Sometimes she feels clever too much.
Excusez-moi, in perfect French,
but nothing is gained by perfect word tense.
She is clever, they say.
But she is not clever the way they know.
She sees things as they are,
and she prefers her thoughts to the world.
She knows she loves them more than they in return,
and her friends will be there until they wont.
Friends reassure her, you'll be okay,
she puts a smile on her face.
She loves them as much as any,
even though there aren't many.
They bring out the best in her,
the happy girl,
not swamped by words.
The one who isn't drowning in formula.
Test scores and numbers don't mark you smart,
she knows this now,
engraved in her