I'm Still HereI am screaming again and
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.
My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.
I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.
My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.
I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream until my voice breaks
And there is nothing left.
I am hollow.
I am empty.
I am too far gone.
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know
ListenCan you hear meListen1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Listen to my cries
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen
Maybe you can't hear me
I'm just not loud enough
Perspective is the KeyDark RomanticPerspective is the Key1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Castle of sadness
Immense in its form
Longs for the yearning
Desperate of old.
Give me the sorrow,
Give me the world.
Are you my savior?
It's not what it seems
With each breathing moment
and each heaving mean,
The world brings tomorrow
with beautiful seams.
A dead generation;
is what we all hold.
But each law will pass,
while each lie is told.
So wait for tomorrow
and its coming remorse.
Hurt MeHurt me.Hurt Me2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Paint the floors a violent red.
Give me the scars that make them
Mix the purple and blue undertones
That destroy my body.
The colors that I try to hide.
Make me a fool.
A fool to think that
I can trust anyone.
It's a lie.
Tell me what I am, and not who.
Scream until I cry.
And make me wish for an end.
It would be the only good thing
You've ever done for me.
But you're not that kind.
A New and Bright FriendshipIt's always been hard to explain my feelingsA New and Bright Friendship1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
But right now I'm speechless
I've never thought I could care so much
Yet here I am
Offering my help and support
No matter what.
Some of my darkest corners
Smile when I talk to you
My worries begin to fade
And my stomach feels warm
A new and bright friendship
I'm just glad I met you.
When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although IWhen I'm Gone11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.
Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.
I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize that I’m not there,
And that it is because of you.
Believe me when I say I don’t
Miss you, and that I never could have
Possibly been in love with you.
I want you to see what you've done,
And actually mean it when you say you’re sorry.
I want so many things that will never happen
All because you were better than I was.
Distant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .They say it's difficult to love someoneDistant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
When you can't even love yourself.
But I loved you nonetheless,
The problem was I didn't know when to stop.
You kept sending me mixed signs
Making me dizzy until I
Much less right
When our world started crumbling down and
T e a r i n g at the seams
It was so easy for you to let it fall apart.
But I, knowing no other kind of love,
desperately clung to the remaining bits,
Trying to put them back together.
Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,
They kept growing and
growing a p a r t,
until your world was only yours
and mine a hollow echo of its past.
Looking back now, it seems like it
All happened in a different life,
With some other you, some other me,
And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
NightmaresI don't want to fall asleepNightmares1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I can't bare to close my eyes
I can't stand what's inside my head
Be it made of truth or lies
'Cause when I fall asleep
The nightmares take place
The worst things I can imagine
Scarier than any screaming face
In my dreams
I see you there
But you're hurting me on purpose
And you don't seem to care
I see you with other girls
And you look so happy
And I'm stood there screaming
Telling you it should be me
But you're not listening
You're too busy having fun
I can't get away from what I'm seeing
No matter how much I try to run
I'm seeing you with girlfriends
I've never even heard of
Telling them they're beautiful
As I start to sob
Then I wake up in the dark
And I'm lying here alone
With no one here to comfort me
Just me on my own
You may think the worst part is over
But it's only just begun
'Cause when I go back to sleep
I know I'll have another one
Nightmares that leave me crying
When I wake up in bed
Wishing every night
That they would stay out my head
But I kno
I Hope You Haven'tHave you everI Hope You Haven't2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Felt pain to the point
You are entirely numb
And can no longer tell
That you are not breathing?
Have you ever
Been so hopelessly in love
That when he was gone
You were left with a hole
Where your heart should be?
Has the idea of happiness
Ever seemed so far away
That you thought
You would never reach it?
Have you ever
Thought you were worthless
So much that you
Lost the desire for life?
I hope you haven't felt the way I did.
Keep On ShiningThis truth it has stabbed my heartKeep On Shining1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like a thousand needles slowly making their way
This love has made me fall apart
I'm broken glass, I'm the broken glass of man
The stabs gets harder every day
The needles they come closer to my heart
As I grow it tears me to pieces
I'm tattered cloth, thrown in the litter
As I try to recover and stand straight
I realize how crocked my back has been all this time
I can't walk straight
Cause my guilt and my shame, brings me down
But even thought through all this
I have still small light that shines to me every day
Cause even in my darkest days
It can still make me smile, it always wants me to live
I talk like this is all over
I talk is as I'm soon to die
But the truth is
I'm here to stay, just to watch that small light, every single day
*Hoar Frost*Hoar frost covers field*Hoar Frost*1 year ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Footsteps spoiling its beauty
MaybeYour body has been usedMaybe1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
By all of those who are broken.
The ones who are trying to repair
Their own wounds with
No regards towards your own.
You are a hand for him to hold
While he thinks of her
And tries to forget the emptiness
And the fact that he is alone.
For a brief moment while
He is inside of you,
You feel as if you are the
Missing half of the whole,
And it is perfect.
He recites memorized lines
And you wonder who else
Has heard them before you,
But you tell yourself that
You're the first anyway.
Your body has been used
By all of those who are broken,
And you begin to wish that
You could be loved once,
And loved most.
I Might Need YouI think I might need you,I Might Need You1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
But here's the thing:
I'm spinning out of control
And careening off the side of the road.
I pretend to hold on to the wheel,
But we both know I'll crash.
It wasn't a fair fight.
If you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would hear me whispering
"I want you."
"I need you."
And if you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would know that
We are horribly wrong
For each other,
And that my words mean nothing.
But what's to stop us from
Sharing our sheets anyway?
We sleep folded together
Like slips of origami paper
Pressed so tightly that
We could not possibly split.
I think I might need you,
But here's the thing:
I really wish I didn't.
I wish it was you,
And not me.
stunned.it's an early morning,stunned.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
i'm unaware how it's one in the afternoon out there, in reality,
and i lay in bed,
wishing i hadn't descended back down in those few hours of sleep.
i crumple through the sheets,
summer's finally quit too,
my eyes force themselves shut,
but again, my first thought is you.
the left-open window's already invited it in,
but i'll give autumn a proper welcoming.
i leave behind the warmth of my four white walls
and immediately i'm hit.
the sharpness of the cold stuns me.
i'm stopped, almost pushed back inside.
this is familiar,
but into that one memory i dug.
there's an emptiness in the wind's whisper,
the fallen leaves rustle,
the dirt's cruste
We Will Never BeI met you on August 18th of 2008.We Will Never Be1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember how hot it was in the classroom
That day and how your eyes widened with confusion
As I sat down next to you.
I will never forget those eyes.
You loved Mondays and dreaded Fridays.
I thought you were crazy and you told
Me that the only reason was so you
Could see me in school.
I still thought you were crazy.
We would do our math assignments on the
Playground and talk about our lives.
We were so different, but you always
Insisted that we were absolutely perfect.
I wish I would have known how right you were.
I miss you so much that I can't sleep.
But I have to keep moving because you
Promised me that we would be again, remember?
You held my hand for a second too long and
Told me that you would see me tomorrow.
And I believed you because your eyes had that same
Warm look in them that you always got when
You would tell me something important.
I've seen you three times since then, and we
Have walked away from each other
AgitaThere's a ringing in my earsAgita1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
That will not cease
The beating in my skull
Will not let me be
There's a burning in my lungs
The air, I can't release
My heart is speaking, though
Through every word I bleed
Set In StonePressure is building in my head,Set In Stone2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sometimes I just want to explode,
It's hard to keep things under wraps,
When you just want to unload.
I can't focus on many other things,
Everything else is a distraction,
This drive is keeping me intact,
I'm working towards drastic action.
I've got a goal I'm working towards,
Without it I know I'd be lost,
I've found someone worth fighting for,
Getting to them will have a cost.
But inside I know it's what I need,
There is no other road for me,
A trip has set my heart in place,
My objective is all I see.
Mask (Re-upload)For how long can I wear this DisguiseMask (Re-upload)1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
The hate is building inside
but can you see it through my eyes
I may wear this smile
but this face is full of Lies
My heart cries
and as it drowns in its own tears of sorrow
it slowly Dies
The beating slows...ends and moans
And gradually the glow...fades
A sudden depth of abyss and a certain roaring, a hiss
The pain, the lies, the hate, all surrounded by death's kiss
Clawing, eating, tearing away
Making it's way....through my skin
You should have known me, full of sin,
a shadow being, claiming to be me...only in cast
Behind this God damned mask
But who is me, if all I am
is who this mask portrays
With an attitude that self betrays
and self-consciousness that slowly strays
With an unwavering smile..always in place
displaying such inhuman grace
Inside filled with so much rage
but nothing ever displayed upon my face
It mocks me
It pretends it knows me
Pseudo, fake, and never for my sake
Working to destroy what I could become, the rake the rake
And I a
The Shadow CasterI didn't want to ruin my sister's life. I didn't want to hurt her at all. Yeah, she got on my nerves pretty often, but I never wanted anything to happen to her. My mother always joked that I'd kill her and anyone else who tried.The Shadow Caster1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
But it might be too late.
It all started with the number 19. 19 points out of 100 on a test, to be exact. An English test, on top of that - my sister and I were both blessed with a natural command over words.
But a test like this could not be helped by a gift with language. It was a stems test - you know those, right? Prefixes and suffixes and all? Those could only be memorized, and my dear sister wasn't one to put in the effort. I was, though. I always put the effort, and it paid off every time.
My father yelled. She cried. We're Indians, you see, and education is always number one - it even dominated religion in our home. Test on Monday? Fine, don't go to church today. Stay home and study.
While everyone was yelling and crying, I quietly slipped out the house
Obsession"I need rest," she murmurs under the copper dyed hues of sunset's leaves.Obsession1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Why don't you lie down for a while?" He looks down upon her, intentions of night in his dark eyes.
"I need rest," she whispers as the colour begins to steadily fade.
"Then nod your head, there's naught to fear," he smiles, stardust coating his cold breath.
"I need rest," she sighs as the last of sun's warmth departs her core.
"Take a seat, my love," he encircles as a panther would its prey.
"I need rest," a cry as soft as a dove flees her lips.
"Lift your feet, one shan't stand for too long," he becomes a shadow looming.
"I need rest," her eyes of summer look up, dreams departing.
"My shoulder is here for you," he coldly offers, deceit dripping with every word.
"I need rest," her hands delicate as fall reach like struggling branches in winter winds.
"Let me hold you," his arms of greed reach forth with malintent.
"I need rest," her breaths cast away by the humming breeze.
"There's a pillow nearby," his callous f
The Nature of the Un-NaturalI said I wouldn't let it,The Nature of the Un-Natural1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
all get the better of me,
then I fell so far,
into this catastrophe,
this nature of the un-natural,
makes me see what's not actual,
I read up on what's factual,
now I'm almost insane,
walk into the rain,
I feel all the dark pleasure,
being soaked to the bone,
is nowhere near a half measure,
of the illness and horror,
going on up above,
I've never felt such a mixture,
of fear, pain and love,
my mind is like a picture,
of a knife through a dove,
I'm not all that you wanted,
when push comes to shove.
The future of yesterdayI don't know about the future, so I look into the past.The future of yesterday1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But what was yesterday, and the day before? Time goes so fast.
Quicker and quicker the time flies, the future is the past.
I don't know where to look, all the impressions come so fast.
Where are we now? This is a future, it is a past, it's present day.
With all the things I think about, this I still cannot say.
Yesterday is in the past, but it wasn't long ago, it feels like today.
What the future brings, nobody knows. What was the past, we can say.
The future is like the past, and the past is like the future.
It is all knitted close into each other, it is like a suture.
For how different is today from a week ago and that from the future.
A week ago and one more day into the past are the same, like a suture.
The future brings what the past has been
What we already together have seen.
Whatever yesterday might have been.
It was a future nobody longer ago has seen.
The future, the future, it is all the same
Don't go looking for the gr
Ablaze!Woman with fire in eyeAblaze!1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Flame from heart ablaze
Living life without asking why?
Instinct driven, there in gaze.
Flame burns, flickers, smoulders
Tempered not with regret
Eyelashes fan this endless flame
Impossible to forget
StoriesOne day, darling, we will be broken and oldStories1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Think of all the stories we could have told
Think of all the stories we can tell
We will know we have lived our lives well
For one thing I can already vouch
We will sit together on our couch
Talk against each other with love
We will fit each other like a glove
We will know what the other wants
What our horrid nightmares haunts
Sit against each other, hand in hand
Not everything went as we planned
We will tell our children what we have done
What victories we did and did not won
We will tell that not only the end matters
That a journey can always end in shatters
We will tell what we could have told
But those paths are now old and cold
We will tell what we did actually do
This journey, experienced by me and you