memoriesOur secret kisses in the moonlight,
The feeling of happiness just by being st your side,
The long walks thru town st night,
The promises to always strive and solve any fights.
These happy times haunt my heart,
The memories of our promise to never part,
I wish they flourished instead of becoming what they are.
The tears we shed when you had to leave,
The promise to be mine, and return for me,
the smile i had for only you to see,
The happy future i still hope and wish could be.
Is there some part of you that holds to these memories,
A small part that cried when i would beg "please"
A part that regrets all those broken promises,
Something screaming "don't say goods bye!"
A part of your heart that longs to be mine,
Are you breaking like me deep down inside?
to feel...To feel someone's arms around me,to feel...1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
To feel a kiss, passionate, and deep,
To curl up together as we sleep.
Hearing your heart beat as i lay on your chest,
Holding you close, forget the rest,
Being happy with each other, no less.
Walking hand in hand down the street,
Not caring about the opinions of who sees,
Knowing despite what the world believes,
This love is real between you and me.
This is the simple happiness of my dreams,
Nothing extravagant, just having my love with me.
I don't have much hope left,
but i hope this will come to be.
i tryi try to stay strongi try2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
despite this overwhelming feeling
of being empty, alone, and wrong.
no matter how hard i try hiding
how i feel so helpless of whats been done
all i wish is that I'd be with you, my one.
i try so hard to explain
but the words are jumbled and lost in my brain.
how can you expect me to refrain
from telling you I'm going inane?
please don't see this as some fun game,
i can't take this pain yet again.
i know you think you're doing right,
but do you care that i cry at night,
wishing you'd let me be at your side?
do you know how empty i feel inside?
i don't want to cause a fight,
but this pain can never be right, right?
i try to do my best
while you start on your quest,
but this pain in my chest
is overwhelming, won't rest,
please see that I'm trying to fulfill your request.
I'm tired of being hut by my closest friends,
especially the ones I'll love til the end,
but yet the more pain i get
drives me further to my end.
i can only hide and pretend
that this feeling of being
RageThe rage builds over time.Rage2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It slowly takes over,
my mind, the pain, sadness, anger.
It makes me sound like a "hater."
I know I'm not this negative person,
and all these "excuses" aren't good reasons.
I'm so tired of being the one to blame.
Having this rage feels like I'm holding a flame.
It burns and hurts me deep inside.
All I want to do is scream and cry.
I used to be so strong,
now all I'm told, all I feel is,
"I'm always wrong."
i can only take this for so long.
Are my tears and rage that amusing,
that you keep pushing me to watch the bruising,
to watch me fall apart from the inside out,
til I'm left with nothing, anger, pain, and doubt?
My anger consumes all that's around me.
People waiting to betray me is all I ever see.
I keep all this negativity hidden deep inside,
until it boils over leaving no where to hide.
I do it all to protect the few friends I have left.
My anger makes me so unbearable
to people and friends it must be incomparable.
Why must my anger be so much,
I might...I might not be the best with words,I might...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I might want you more then you like,
I might not be agreeable all the time,
but can you see how much your my world?
I might say "I love you" too much,
I might ask too many questions,
I might be too emotional,
but does that stop you from seeing why you love me?
I might not be your perfect match,
I might talk more then you like,
I might start up some fights,
but does that irritate you to forget what we had?
I might not be able to say how I feel,
I might still have some doubts in my heart,
I might want to try to fix it all,
but I will never give up on what you mean to me.
have i changed?so many times,have i changed?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so many mistakes,
have i learned anything?
have i honestly changed?
so much pain,
I've caused my share,
and received so much.
yet it seems i go back for more
each time being hurt and torn.
i know I've changed some,
but is it a smart way, or dumb?
there are still so many question
there are so many lessons,
all remain unanswered,
so what is it I've really done?
i hate seeing loved ones in pain,
yet all i do is cause it again and again.
am i really wanting to be alone in the end?
do i really love causing myself so much grief,
to sit and crying wanting some relief?
is there something about me
that i don't or can't see,
that i don't want to believe?
is there something wrong with me?
why?would it matter if I stayed?why?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
would it matter if I left?
would you eventually forget me?
would you eventually come for me?
would you realize what you've done?
would you ever give me a real chance?
do you remember all those words you said?
do you remember all the times we spend
on the phone just saying what ever would come to mind?
do you remember what you felt for me?
do you remember the hug you gave me when you first saw me?
do you remember that weekend you were more than happy?
do you remember how you promised you'd never give me a reason not to trust you?
do you remember that night we got to say in person "I love you"?
do you know how much you mean to me?
do you know what you really want in life?
do you know how much your words stuck?
do you know how warm your embrace makes me feel?
do you know how much I will do to be with you?
do you know your the only one I've let see all of me?
do you care about how many tears have fallen because of you?
do you care about how much I've done to be
broken"I'm going to miss you, well this is goodbye"broken2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
how can you justify leaving something like this,
and not care if i cry?
do you even realize how much this hurts?
do you even care that despite it all,
despite my brave words and face,
i love you with all my life?
even if we're not lovers,
why can't we still be friends?
why does it have to be all or nothing?
yes i know I've screwed up, and lied,
but the one truth that will always remain,
is that i never stopped loving you.
whether that makes me a fool...
i don't care...
so as i keep seeing your words in my mind,
all i can do is break apart and cry.
your now the second who said you'd love me,
the second to leave, and not bat an eye...
all I've done since I've read those words this morning
is think, and cry asking myself why...
whether you see this or not is not the point,
i needed to do something to let it out,
i feel so much pain and betrayed,
by the two I've loved the most,
without a doubt in my mind or heart..
...and yet people wonder why
PainAfter all the pain, all the tears,Pain2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I still wish I didn't have this heart.
It's so warn and fragile,
all the pain hurts more then a little.
Since I can't get rid of this heart,
then can I just turn my emotions off?
Maybe if i stopped caring
I can finally stop hurting.
I don't understand why people do what they do,
how can they love you so much, then turn around and hurt you?
If they know how much they mean to me,
then why do this, why can't you see?
You know my weakness, you know my heart,
You know just where all those pressure points are.
You slip that knife in, only to twist it as you rip it out.
Why is it I trust the wrong kind?
Why do I listen to those lies?
Why can't I stop crying?
Why can't my emotions just die?
I hate being so squishy inside,
I hate how my love leaves me blind,
I hate always asking myself "why?"
I hate hiding my tears at night,
I hate having no one at my side,
I hate how human kind turns a blind eye,
I hate how my mind and heart always fight.
Why can't I ever do
hatei hate:hate2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
how i let things bottle up inside
how easy it is for people to hurt me
that i still let people in
that i can't forget, move forward
how i feel so weak
how people have no issues with hurting others
how there really isn't any honor or loyalty
that people are so selfish, self centered
that people are so blind
how people can easily turn on one another
how this pain still cuts a deep wound
how this heart still breaks from memories
that no matter how i try i can't forget
that you could lie the way you have
how I'm so lost and confused, what to do.
how people are so naive about how life is
how people have no problem screwing over others
that people don't understand or care
that people have no time for anyone else
how this world is so cold to their own
Way to blueI remember your hugsWay to blue2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
they were warm as sunlight
they kept me alive
but they made me burn inside.
I knew you were broken
I was too.
to love every single
piece of you.
Soon it felt like
if I was inhaling
every single piece
and every single breath
But I needed it.
I needed it, to feel
the burning inside.
it woke me up.
Let's just say
I don't want to go back
to sleep again.
with the cold of your [written] words
because you know words
mean to me
but you always said
that words were never enough
as the touch of my hand,
or the sound
of my voice.
I gave it all.
All that my heart
all for you to
it was all in vain.
I'm on my way to blue
I'm giving up,
giving up on you.
OutcastIs it just my imagination,Outcast2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
or am I really just an irritation?
I'm not the best with communication,
does that mean I'm not worth your consideration?
No matter what I do, I feel so awkward
I feel like when I'm near, everyone stops their talk.
I feel like no matter what I try to say,
it's as if everyone is dying to get or stay away.
Am I really that unbearable to be around?
Do you look at me like a lost puppy you've found,
that one that follows you home?
Are my words that awful a sound?
I'm sure I'm not the best looking,
especially when I'm a klutz with my footing.
Do you think I like being this fat?
Is there something on my face,
or am I just something you hate,
for no reason, it's just my fate?
I'm sure I look awkward and out of place,
but when your always judged face to face,
never really given a chance,
how am I supposed to not feel left for last?
Am I really that weird to you?
I'm not the best with words or with what to do,
but I am just a person, just like you.
If I'm not the best c
a warm embraceAs you click away at the computer, you feel warm, soft hands reach around you. They gently embrace you as you feel a warmth move from the back of your neck to one side. It turns into a trail of warm, small kisses that make their way from your neck to the tip of your ear. The kiss turns to a soft nibble on your earlobe, as the embrace around you gently releases and, warm soft hands roam around gently massaging your chest, making their way to their respective shoulders. The gentle nibbles on your ear make slowly, and, softly their way back down one side of your neck.a warm embrace2 years ago in Settings More Like This
The warm and gentle hands start to massage your shoulders starting from your neck and work their way back out, trailing down your back, massaging and lightly scratching their path. The nibbles on your neck make their way around to the back of your neck, ending at the center, where they give a gentle kiss, and gently blow a warm breath to send a warm, tingly sensation down your spin
hurt meso many people try and try,hurt me2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so many people love to watch me cry,
I'm sure some people wish i would die.
so many people think i was never right,
so many people think all i like is to fight.
why do so many who i hold so close
do nothing but hurt me the most?
what's the point of having friends,
when the closest hurt you in the end?
why do so many enjoy causing pain
to people they claim to love?
if things are settled and done,
why keep going on and on,
all to cause so much pain to someone?
don't you think they cry enough,
when you hurt them again and again,
asking what could they have done,
to cause so much pain and hate.
do you think i love being in so much pain?
do you think i lie when i say "i love you"?
do you think i like being alone again?
do you know that you will always have some power
over this heart that still has feelings for you,
that still wants to have you as a lover,
that will always care and worry for you,
despite all the actions and words that you do.
with so many people c
Behind those walls...As I think of things from my past,Behind those walls...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I feel those walls creep in,
they form thick and cold around my heart,
they close it up so nothing can get in, or out.
My cynical, cold mind takes control,
as I think on things of past and now.
I ask myself "why?"
I do that again?!
I always rush things?
I always hurt those I love?
I let the words and silence sting?
I give up on things so easily?
can't my cold self take over more often?
Why is it when my heart is open I do so much wrong?
Why do I follow blindly, believing in hope that is gone?
Why do I believe the lies everyone tells me,
only to end up hurt by those I trust, again, and again?
As the pain seeps in, the paranoia grows.
Do they really consider me a friend?
Do they tell me what i want to hear?
Why am i always left behind when I need a friend,
then turn around and be there when they need me?
The walls build up again to push it all away,
only to resurface, and repeat another day.
why do I let myself get this way?
Would it be better to just k
i know i love you...do i really have the strength to be do this?i know i love you...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
can i really say "no" from these lips?
i know i love you more than anything,
but I'm afraid what the unknown will bring.
I'm afraid you will never fully trust me again,
I'm afraid that my life with you will be a dead end.
I'm afraid that one day you will leave my side,
leaving me with pain, as nothing, left to die.
I'm afraid that you will never overcome the past,
that this mistrust will always last.
i know i love you more than anything,
but I'm afraid what the unknown will bring.
I'm afraid if i say goodbye,
i will fall apart and cry.
I'm afraid with you not at my side,
i will wish i would just die.
I'm afraid i will never see you again,
either as a love, or as a friend.
I'm afraid i will be alone all my life,
knowing i gave up mister right.
i know i love you more than anything,
but I'm afraid what the unknown will bring.
I'm afraid you will disappear,
listening to all the negativity you hear.
I'm afraid you will never talk to me again,
that person...everyone's got that one person,that person...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who, no matter the reason,
you will always love with all your life,
do what ever it takes to make them happy,
see them smile.
everyone's got that one person,
who for some stupid reason,
you've unintentionally screwed up,
hurt them, betrayed them, all the above.
despite your please and apologies,
they won't believe your words or cries.
everyone at one point or another
had the one person who they wanted forever,
but because of something stupid,
never got the chance to make it right, be together.
everyone at one point or another,
has asked themselves why did they falter,
how could you have done this or that,
even if you never meant or wanted to, it's now fact.
if this isn't true for everyone, then it's just me.
even to this day, i love you, and I'm sorry.
i wish there was something, some way
to show you how much you mean to me.
i wish we could start this over one day,
so this time would be right, and you'd be happy.
every time i try to talk to you,
all i fe
trust and berayalcan you see your life without friends?trust and berayal2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
can you live knowing you'll always be alone?
can you be happy without being loved?
can you still trust when all it does is cause pain?
trust is something to be earned,
but once it's broken it's like being burned.
it eats away from the inside out,
leaving you filled with nothing but doubt...
how can the ones who are the closest
live with knowing they've hurt you the most?
why would they betray your love and trust?
how can they just turn away, leaving you in the dust?
how many times must you feel this pain
before you just give up?
...they're all the same...
is anyone in this world worth it?
are we that desperate just to have it repeat?
do they care about the effects on you?
"Do onto others as you'd have on you"
i wonder if they've ever felt this pain,
if so, how can they do it again, and again...
what do they have to gain?
as the sadness, pain, doubt and rage build,
those walls build to act as a shield.
until the next one comes along,
will they fina
FamilyWe're supposed to be there for one another.Family2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We're supposed to love no matter how bad the fight.
Even if we don't agree or see eye to eye.
Even if for the moment we don't like each other.
But, if anyone else were to start crap,
we'd be there to defend each other "like that".
Am I that I'm that naive?
Is what I think so outdated now?
If your family won't be there for you,
Are people and times so cold nowadays,
that even your own family can leave and betray?
If you can't even trust your family,
then what are they there for?
I know I've never liked society very much,
but even I'm ashamed of how out of touch
the world has become with something so simple.
I always thought family was always the best example,
of unwavering trust, loyalty, and love.
Even if they get on your nerves, and annoy you,
they should be the people who will always be there for you.
They should be the only people who will never betray you.
They should be the people who will always support and help you.
Take it f
To be with youI want to be with you now,To be with you2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I've never felt this way.
You're the one i want every day,
the one who can make me smile
just by being here.
I don't need things, or fun,
just having you here is enough.
Yes, I still have my fears,
But it's only a small part.
I know you're not like them.
You won't break my heart,
you promise you'll return,
you need things to fall into place
before we can be together always,
You made that promise to me,
and I'm hoping it's one you'll keep.
You understand me better than anyone,
Your the closest anyone has come.
I just want this waiting to be done.
I want to be your only one,
I want to make you the happiest you can be,
I want to be with you completely,
so I can see you smile eternally.
I've loved you since then,
I wish I had the guts back when
we could have had our chance.
I hope for the day when we can.
So for now I'll sit and wait,
hoping that that one day
will come soon, not to late.
So we can be together, and happy,
Like those blissful days.
For HerI would give anything to see you happy,For Her3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I would give anything to see you smile.
Can you see how much I love you?
Do you know the pain of this distance too?
You fade away, yet I still want the best for you.
I thought we were right, did you feel the same?
Even now, I think of everything about you.
I wonder if there was anything I could do,
anything I could change just to have you with me.
You hate question, you value space, but do you see?
You say she's not what you want, yet, can't you see?
You push away all but her, does she make you happy?
Even if you realize it's her for you,
I will always be here, I will always love you.
I'm sorry i couldn't be the only girl for you.
why is itwhy are my thoughts and emotionswhy is it2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
always causing so much complications,
always adding to all the confrontations,
never giving me signs or answers to my questions,
never letting me make a definite decision,
always leading me to more damnation,
keeping me in a cycle of stagnation?
why is it i;
can't seem to find my answers?
lead them on?
cause so much pain?
can't ever decide,
i don't have forever?
who is it i fully, truly want?
what is it my heart and mind
are always trying to hide?
why won't they let me stop this cycle
of jumping from one to another side?
it seems no matter how much time
i take to think about my life
i wind up causing someone to cry,
to the point i wish i would die;
just to stop their pain, to make it right.
believe me all these times i've tried
aren't lies to keep you at my side.
why won't my heart and mind
let me finally decide?
why and what is it they're trying to hide?
why do they cause this strife and lies?
i don't like being a cause to make you cry,
yet it seems th
Outside looking inOn the outside I'm cold, and hard,Outside looking in3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but on the inside is an easily broken heart.
I keep up the thick cold walls,
to try to protect myself, not to fall.
I know I push people away,
that's because they never stay.
It may seem like I want to be alone,
and all I do is bitch and moan.
Every time I've let people see the inner me,
all they've done is hurt and betray me.
All I've ever wanted was to have someone,
but now all I do is push away, til I'm alone.
I'm sorry my walls and thorns have hurt you so,
but please, I'm begging you, don't leave, don't go.
I'm sorry the inner me is so torn and hurt,
but please don't leave me with this broken heart.
Please see that I can be warm and kind,
like I was in an earlier time.
All I ask is for patience,
please stay with me.
People ask why I'm so cold and hard.
When I let them see some of my heart,
they show me who they really are.
You're the only one who's different,
though your so far.
You're the only one who cares enough,
to heal this heart.
will i ever learnDo i ever learn?will i ever learn2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How many times must i hurt?
These memories burn
Deep scars in my heart,
Yet i continue to return.
Now you're the one pushing away,
Saying its just been "one of those days",
Days that turns to a week without even a "hey"...
You've claimed that if this situations doesn't change,
then it wont happen, you don't want it this way,
The relationship will fade away,
All because its got to be your way.
My heart still yearns for you,
The one who;
Isn't the controlling fool,
Is the one i can run to,
shows that you love me too.
smiles seeing me wake up next to you.
Instead, as of late
It feels like your love is turning to hate
Hate that i make you wait,
Hate that I'll move in "someday"
Hate that things aren't going your way.
Why push me away
When you used to tell me you love me every day.
I know this has to end,
And i hope we can at least be friends,
Even though it'll hurt (me) like hell.
while we still are what we are,
Why are you now so hard,
Why wont you return my texts, and cal
why am iso many times people have triedwhy am i2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to tell me about the warning signs.
all i ever do is block them out of my mind,
only to fall, and be left broken and crying.
why am i always so blind
when this happens so many times?
why am i so stubborn,
then cry when I'm burned?
why do i never change,
then wonder why I'm so hated?
why do i never seem to do good,
then say I've done all i could?
why do i jump without thinking,
then wonder why my life is always sinking?
why do i hurt who i loved,
then say I'm the only one who has suffered?
i wonder if there are two of me,
who always fight over who gets to be
the one the world gets to see.
if so, what will it take for them to be at peace?
can't they see this won't set us free?
all this duality causes nothing but agony
to anyone brave, or stupid enough to stay with me.
despite this internal war of which one is me,
the all around feeling is "i want to just be happy.
i don't want to be that old, crazy,lonely, lady.