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1. When he's away, sneak into his house (if you can), open the door slightly and put a bucket of water above. Also add some soap in it >DD

2. Break his garden gnomes by throwing rocks at them so Dib can sneak in easier.

3. Print out Zim/Dib posters and put them all over his house. It'll lead to a head explosion though, so be careful and don't choose pictures that's too hardcore.

4. When he's asleep, take some of Gir's soap (the bacon one) and rub it all over his face. Add more for bonus points, like butter and cookie crumbs.

5. Tell him straight up. That's he's a self-absorbed and gullible jerk that is a shame for his race. After that, grow a mustache and move to New Zealand. (Doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, do it anyway).

6. Kick him (bonus points if it's on the crotch) and tell him to stop making humans look like idiots.

7. Blow him a kiss. He hates human germs. (Girls' task...mostly)

8. When he takes a nap, take black lenses (entirely black) and put them on his eyes. When he wakes up, he will scream for hours that he's blind. Let him believe that until you can't take it anymore and take off the lenses (well obviously 5.00 am, when you want some damn sleep!)

9. Borrow Gir's pig toys and sit on the rooftop. When Zim goes out the door throw down the piggies and he'll be buried in a pile of pigs from the sky. (Let that weirdness sink in...)

10. Take pictures when he doesn't expect it. Then ask him if he has Facebook (well obviously he doesn't), and tell him you'll tag him in the pictures! Obviously he wont get it...unless you dare to actually do it and then he'll finally get it! And probably kill you off.

11. Tell him to take off his disguise, he looks better without it. If he agrees to and takes them off, stare at him in a few seconds and then tell him to put it on again. If he refuses, cry waterfalls and throw waffles at him. (Speaking of annoying, Gir does a great job at that!)

12. Send Tak a note that Zim wants to marry her. Hilarity will ensue.

13. Dye his wig pink.

14. Show him the world of ZaGIR (Zim/Gir). He'll twitch and leave him shaking with the nightmares rolling in like money.

15. When he doesn't expect it, jump on to his back, grab his antennae, and burst out: "RIDE THE HORSEY!!"

16. The line "I knew it! Human babies come from space!" (from the episode 'The plague of babies') which Zim stated, is wrong, and tell him exactly why. Since he's an Irken it will leave him traumatized, and disgusted for the rest of his life.

17. Play worthless artists for him (Like Justin Bieber or Nicki Minaj), it will horribly represent Earth music, but what the heck.

18. Make him waffles. Make sure to tell him they do not contain peanut butter or soap (like Gir's did), no, tell him when he takes the first chew, that it contains worms and mud!

19. Steal Gaz's GameSlave 2...and blame Zim for it.

20. Dress like Zim. Call the Tallest and do the worst things possible. For example, flip the bird at them, poke the tongue at them and tell them lines like: "You want me to invade? BOHOO!!", "I eat Irkens like you for breakfast" and "I think I'm in love with a human!"
But don't say the worst. Zim will lose his job then. It's "Tall people are RETARDS!"

21. Tell him he needs vacation. Pack his bags and send him out an automatically navigated ship...make sure it will go to...I dunno...FOODCOURTIA. >DD (Oh you wouldn't dare would you...)

22. Show him the movie "E.T". It probably wouldn't annoy him...what WOULD annoy him though is that you would see him cry.

23. Tell him that Gir left a note, and it says that he left Zim for a pig.

24. Poke his squeedlyspooch and and say "SQUISHY!" Each time. When he tells you to stop, grab his cheeks and say the line even louder.

25. Take a Dib plushie, place it beside Zim (when he takes a nap), take a photo and show it to Dib >DD

26. Lock him into a room with only a TV in it...The Angry Monkey Show in a loop.

27. Sneak into his base and let Nick out.

28. Tell him he doesn't have any parents. The only one that ever "loved" him was the robot arm that woke him up with an electric shock.

29. Be a "DeeDee". Run around his base and poke on random things while yelling: "Ooh, what does THIS button do?!" When he screams at you to get out, tell him to say it in a weird accent.

30. Force him to babysit kids. HUMAN smeets, so to speak.

31. In the episode "Dark Harvest", Zim stole an organ from a girl and replaced it with a cat in her lower abdomen. Sit beside him when you recall it, roll a news-paper and hit him, while shouting: "PERV!!!" While we're at it, also recall the line: "The Dib; The Dib! I don't care how delicious he is, he's EVIL!" (Episode: Girl who Cried Gnome)

32. Try to hug him. That alone will annoy him, trust me.

33. Give Zim a bag used for dog shit leaving him with a dumbfounded look on his face. Then tell him: "You obviously don't know how to walk a dog, do you?" Refer to Gir.

34. If he EVER will be in a human's house, recommend him to get used to a place like that when in it. The first thing he should do is take a shower (hehe).

35. Tell him to count to seven with his fingers.

36. Carry around a radio and play "Toy-Box" songs on max volume when near him.

37. If he ever says "It's my duty!", start to snicker.

38. Tell him that it would suit him better to disguise as a female human rather than a male.

39. Whenever he says words like 'filthy', 'humans' etc. Say 'w00t' or 'lol'.

40. Say that there's no way he will ever get rid of Dib. Nope, never ever. He will always be an eternal pain in the ass...just like this list.
It was over a year ago I wrote one (Holy moly) I made one with Invader Zim.
This isn't my best. I think this really sucks, but I do hope you enjoy anyway.

This (c) :iconotakaraaminelli: [me]
Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez
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Leafpool silently padded over the fallen leaves. She had a firm grip on the cleaver she was carrying in her mouth.  The moonlight made the blade glow.
'Leafpool.' she thought. 'What a stupid name. Cleavepool would be more exciting. Yes, Cleavepool.'
Her paws stopped moving. Thunderclan camp was  right through these bushes.
'Am I really going to do this? Will I really kill these cats? They are innocent... No.
they're not. They caused me so much pain and suffering...'

Yes. She was going to do this. She would spare no cat's life. She would pick them off one by one...


Cleavepool silently set her knife down outside of the camp entrence.  She silently walked into the warriors den and woke up Brambleclaw.
"Brambleclaw, do you want to go on a nighttime hunt with me?"  Cleavepool looked at him pleadingly.
"Leafpool, I'm trying to sleep."  now leave me alone.
"Please, Brambleclaw? I really want your help."
"Fine. Where are we going to hunt?" Brambleclaw yawned.
"By the lake. You should go ahead of me." There was a hint of excitment in Cleavepool's eyes.
She followed Brambleclaw out of camp, stopping to pick up her cleaver.  She walked silently, so brambleclaw couldnt hear her. When Brambleclaw stopped at the lake, he looked around. "Leafpool? Where are you?"

Just at that moment Cleavepool came charging out of the bushes.

Brambleclaw screached. Cleavepool  Jumped past him, using her cleaver to tear his side open.  Blood gushed everywhere spilling into the lake tuning it a bright ruby color. Brambleclaw fell into the sand and rock staining it with blood. Cleavepool walked up to him and set her knife down. "So Brambleclaw," she whispered. "Does it hurt? Im sorry, I dont know of any herbs that will heal you, or keep it uninfected. Might as well finish you off, eh?"
Brambleclaw's eyes widened as Cleavepool picked up the cleaver, raised it, and brought it crashing down into Brambleclaw's skull.


Cleavepool looked at the corpse. What should she do with it? The lake seemed like a good idea. She put one white paw on his neck, grabbed the cleaver's handle with her mouth, and pulled it out. She set it down in the shallow part of the water, washing away the blood.
She then pushed the body out into the lake, guiding it further away from the shore, until she was swimming. Cleavepool didn't like water, but it was the only way she would get clean, and think about it. She could get rid of the body at the same time! What a great deal.
After the corpse of the deputy had sunk, Cleavepool swam back to shore and shook her pelt. Picking up her cleaver, she walked to camp. She stashed the cleaver in her medicine den behind her herbs she had stored. Laying down in her nest, she fell asleep.
yes. a warriors fanfic.
a sexy one anyway~

and the cleaver mentioned, is Rena's cleaver 8D

the preview picture is a picture i drew on iscribble.

Chapter 2: [link]
Chapter 3: [link]
Chapter 4: [link]
Chapter 5:[link]
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So long ago began
the ever growing free for all,
The all you can eat,
dog eat dog world,
Where commonplace
are the simplistic struggles.
So out of hand,
that solutions become
ironically complex...
Hell's buffet,
straight out and down
from the kitchen above,
down the slip n' slide
through the caverns
of mishaps and mistakes,
I bet it tastes like regret,
and the buyer's remorse,
Reap what you sew say
the teeth of the demon,
With every bite sinks
in a shame filled saliva.
"Maybe we'll slow them down!"
Say the so called thinkers...
I can't help but think against them,
but what do I know?
I'm just a common crumb in the trough.
Above Heaven watches,
restricted by the local law
to keep the peace...
nothing is ever done,
but to keep the balance.
I wanted to try a little something different, and since I haven't written lyrics in a long time, I thought why not for a more satirical piece speaking out against how certain sins are now widely accepted and common within today's world. Don't misunderstand my message though, because I am completely guilty of a lot of things that I'm not proud, but so are we all as human beings. It's just our nature.

As far as the writing style for this piece goes, I was in many ways mimicking two songs by my favorite band, Lamb of God. The songs are "Contractor" and "Cheated". Fast paced, and meant to mock the modern political issues of our society. This one the other hand is directed at modern religious issues.

The satirical aspect of it is making fun of people such as the Westburo Baptist Church. Notice how I intentionally leave out any mention of Christ, redemption, and The Sacrifice for our sins. Such is my way pointing a both laughing, and accusing finger at people like them. The rest is as explained in the first paragraph of this synopsis.

Picture Citation:
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By burning waters, and smoldering bridges,
I await the genesis of our animosity.
Make the move that gives me permission to strike,
make the move that will bring about your end.

Near draws the line that which I advise you to never cross.
Though to my eyes comes the image of your sprinting legs.
It would seem, that through your veins flows pure pestilence,
and that you wish to bring upon me, nuisances by any cost.

Good God, such a fool bound for my throat,
knowing not the patient blade that waits.
Honor averts it's eyes, as your charge draws to an end.
It wishes this good and done, just as I.

A swift jerk of my arm to your direction,
and make you, a last descent to the ground below.
Then burden leaves my shoulders,
as life outward, pours from your filthy heart.
I really just felt like writing something dark, but this rather simplistic piece is just a narrative of one person to another in brief struggle that ends with a death. There is no message or moral, I just wanted to write lol....

picture citation: [link]
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********************Frozen Feathers in the Dark***********************

While the facility seemed to be in constant celebration over Angelis, Cherubix sought the solitude of the deepest and darkest places in Eden02 he could find…he inevitably found himself at the gates of The Pit. He had never been this far down, the temperature was said to be utterly freezing and not something he was all that keen on placing himself in. Nevertheless he made his way inside, traveling the winding corridors and past the various cells. Some the denizens of those cells snarled and roared at him, he had placed quite a few of them in here himself, he wasn’t too surprised to see where some of them ended up. A thrashing pair of jaws sparking against the security bars first layer of defense illuminated a one legged Tyrannodaemon, Monklyonyx’s work no doubt. The hellish menagerie of insane dinosaurs and maimed mutants continued until Cherubix came to another massive door, cooling vents enshrouding it like a gateway to the underworld. Three interlocking gates, labeled Cerberus 1-3, spurred to life as he used a clearance card he’d swiped off of faculty member that didn’t like sharing information…Cherubix briefly wondered if the family had discovered his liver in the backyard yet…perhaps the dog ate it already. Shivering while silently making his way deeper into The Pit, Cherubix found a normal door for once and ventured inside the observation room. There he found ‘IT’, the beast that had nearly succeeded in incinerating everyone’s ‘savior’. Shaking his head of the disgusting thought, Cherubix refocused his attentions on the frozen but steaming juggernaut below him. Massive manacle tipped coils bound the tyrannosaur mutant in place, enshrouded in the same ice that threatened to consume him. He would shake his massive horned head occasionally, straining at the titanium collar around his neck, the coils anchored from both sides into the walls. Even the beast’s tail was locked in place, to keep the trident like blades on the end from reaping some lives no doubt.  The mutant had a variety of scars; the most noticeable were the massive patch on his snout and four claw marks raking down his throat. They were somewhat faded and stretched from growing to such massive size but by the looks of it, they must have been fairly massive wounds at one time for them to be even this size now. Cherubix’s eyes eventually settled on the protruding bone spikes coming from the shoulders that served as yet another pair of limbs to shackle to the ground. Did this subject have wings once? The stumps were too jagged and broken to have formed naturally. This creature had taken some very severe punishment yet it still lived. Cherubix couldn’t help but find that fascinating, then again he always found head strong and stubborn victims to be fascinating, breaking them was half the fun after all. Despite its maimed and scarred body, this demonic tyrannosaur had a powerful and terrifying presence.

Unlike Invictathrone or Judatitan, this monster exuded the primal tension of a predator and carried a majesty all his own. Cherubix could respect that, it was one of the things that allowed him to move so freely around the facility, no one even wanted to see him as terror inducing as he was at times. Being purposely ignored made it much easier to get out from under the thumb of that closet psychopathic priest, even if only for a brief time. It didn’t look like project Hell Lord was having the same kind of luck. All of these precautions just to keep him from moving; it was about the most extreme confinement procedure Cherubix had seen outside of his own quarters. It was like watching an active volcano being doused with liquid nitrogen, even under the blue haze of freezing vapors and rings of ice, the titan’s body glowed like a forge ready to go into meltdown. Hearing the door knob click, Cherubix ducked quickly behind the lockers; sprawling himself as close to the floor as possible and curling his tail around himself as he heard the engineers enter the room.

“Damn its cold in there! I take my glove off for a second and I nearly lose a layer of skin!”

“Hah hah hah! Its cause’ you’re still green sport. You gotta tie that stuff right before you go in.”

“Is it always that damn cold? It’s only the third level.”

“Son, the third level is the most important because that’s where Ole’ Char Face’s head ends up when he’s actually able to stand. Point blank torch’n area right there, besides, the lower levels are a shit load colder, you’d have a popsicle for a hand down there if you took your gloves off like you did earlier, dumbass.”

“It’s even colder?! Jesus what the hell for?”

“Cause that’s where his fuck’n balls touch the ground, that’s what for. Anything that bastard comes in contact with gets burnt like a crispy critter in nonth’n flat. Going several hundred degrees below zero is the only way to keep him too weak to move and trash’n the whole damn place.”

“If he’s that much of a pain in the ass why don’t the higher ups just kill him? It’s not like he’s doing anything useful down here.”

“That’s the funny part boy; nobody knows why the good father keeps him like this. Cry’n shame if you ask me. At least those Tyrannodaemons are good in a scrap and keep those cud chewing shit factories from flooding the place. This guy could probably take down a few of them…what were dey? Kay Jews?”

“I think its Kaiju sir.”

“Ah hell, it’s all fuck’n Romanian to me. Giant bastards supposed to save the world from the sinners or some shit like dat.”

“It’s ‘Greek’ to me sir. Not Romanian and I think you meant Roman.”

“Shut up boy. Come on, we got some supplies to move up stairs.”

As the two engineers left the room, Cherubix slinked out of his hiding spot and began checking the control boards. The temperature gage had to be somewhere nearby; far from the actual subject themselves naturally. Glancing over the various switches, Cherubix located the dial that was labeled ‘Level 3’ and slowly eased it down to a tolerable level. There was no way he could slip into one of those thermal monkey suits, he’d just have to risk lowering the temperature enough to withstand. No security bells went off at the 40 Degree range. That was as high as he would be able to take it. He had taken some fairly punishing training, environmental hazards such as cold were tolerable to a point but even he couldn’t handle the supremely freezing temperatures down in the pit for too long, it made him lethargic and slow, a very bad situation for him indeed. Bracing himself for the sure to be unpleasant experience, Cherubix stealthily made his way down the adjacent winding corridor to the third level and managed with some effort to open the latch. The shock of entering the level nearly caused Cherubix to convulse but he remembered his training and focused on regulating his breathing. If his fangs weren’t already chattering he might have laughed. Hell wasn’t lakes of fire and bridges of ice; it was a storm of frost and planks of flesh chilling metal. As he gradually slinked around the various instruments and platforms, he caught sight of the observation deck. He figured it would be watched so he honed his senses upwards and around him, listening for the telling mechanical drone of the camera. It was located some distance above, on the underside of Level 4. Great, now he’d have to actually climb all these freezing contraptions to get to it. Drumming his toe sickles against the floor, Cherubix made a full sprint toward a crane and dashed up it, his claws scrambling up the metallic pistons. He ran up the length of the crane leaped onto the head of another crane not less than 30 ft. away…easy. He slid down the second crane and flipped himself into the support beams of the level above and began kicking off of each one as he headed toward the camera. Just as it was about to pass over him the camera found itself lacking visual and audio feed as two key wires were sliced out with an index claw. Cherubix kept his momentum as he descended downward again, diving toward a third crane and snagging its chain before swinging around in circles and slingshotting back to the floor. It was decent exercise; the activity had warmed him up a bit so he might as well make use of his adrenaline while he could.

As Cherubix cautiously made his way to the observation deck and slowly peered over the railing; the beast of hell fire and destruction known as Satanis rumbled in agitation below him. The beast found it a tad easier to move as the temperature seemed to lighten slightly. Were the apes trying to lure him into to escaping again so they could punish him? There weren’t any around right now; this was their time to feed. He’d be alone in the chill for awhile longer. A strange scent caught his attention and he temporarily stopped his jostling. It was much thicker and more pungent than the traces the apes sometimes carried on them. There was something living in here, something that wasn’t an ape. Intrigued by the peculiar scent, Satanis began to slowly rise from the floor, inch by excruciating inch. His powerful muscles, mighty as they were, still strained under the icy sheets that always laced his body and constantly fought to stay frozen. With a groaning twist he managed to break one leg free and then the other. Finally he stood upright for the first time in weeks and found himself eye to eye with a curiously small reptile. It was larger than the apes, at least twice as such but still an insect compared to him. He snorted at it, billowing smoke mixed with steam enveloping it for a moment as Satanis gauged its reaction. Strangely it did not run, and it made no attempt to hide or cower. It stood still, peering levelly with him with eyes of bright yellow, hunting eyes. This amused Satanis somewhat; the little creature had some nerve, facing him down like this. Deciding to take the initiative, Satanis inhaled briefly before bellowing a throaty roar. The little reptile flinched as the blast of heat blew back its feathers and evaporated the light layer of frost gathered on its skin. Satanis rumbled in a somewhat more relaxed manner, the little lizard felt heat; he could burn it if he wanted to. The fact it was still standing there undeterred continued to fascinate Satanis. The little lizard began to chirp in a familiar dialect, one he hadn’t heard before but could easily piece together as it felt like a part of the lizard was in him somewhere. A conversation soon emerged between the two.

“Are you the one they call the Hell Lord?” Cherubix imitated a roiling crackle and a guttural snarl to designate the title.

“I am…Satanis. That is…what the apes call me. *growl* Why do you seek me…*hiss*tiny one?” Satanis rumbled in reply.

“I heard that there was another, something as strong as the feathered freak that now prances above us. Perhaps stronger.” Cherubix intoned in a mused tone. He had to play this right, one wrong word and he could get incinerated despite the damning cold. Satanis snorted in something similar to a chuckled mixed with a wheezing cough. His tone got a shade more aggressive as well.

“You speak of…HIM…” Satanis snarled in emphasis. “If I were free, he would be dead…more than dead. I hatched…when he was born. We fought…*snarl* he tore them from me.” Satanis flicked his head in the general direction of his wing stumps. “He was MY KILL…*hiss* and they stole his FLESH from ME!!!” Satanis bellowed, any traces of congestion gone as his nostrils flared with flames and his saliva sizzled where it landed before freezing solid. Cherubix cringed under the pyrotechnic display of rage, he was hoping this was worth it but in the mean time he had to settle the titan down somewhat.

“Calm yourself tyrant! I have little time and the humans will return soon. I’m here to propose a deal with you...” Cherubix hissed out in apprehension. Satanis cocked his head quizzically at the raptor and snorted.

“What could a claw foot, no larger than I as a hatchling…*growl*…offer ME?” Satanis grunted, barely impressed by the notion.

“Freedom for one. That’s what you want isn’t it? Freedom? To be free of this ice and the pain from the humans?”

“They freeze…I burn. They hit, I grow…*snarl*…I will live as they die. They are weak like you claw foot…the others and HIM…they are your obstacles tiny one.” Satanis huffed, as if explaining the obvious to a child.

“Not for long they won’t tyrant. Soon it will be us against the entire world. We will be spread out and ‘Angelis’ *spit* will be alone.” Cherubix countered. Satanis bared his teeth, flames lightly flickering between.

“You speak dangerously claw foot…do not dangle false meat in front of me. I ate the last ape that tried that…he screamed on my tongue…*hiss*…he died slowly.” Satanis snarled as his jaws inched closer to Cherubix’s head. Cherubix thought quickly as he pulled back from the shearing heat.

“They are sending you first tyrant! Do you know this?!” Cherubix shrieked at the looming jaws of burning death in front of him. Satanis stopped for a moment and withdrew, processing the new information.

“Why would the apes set me free? I seek their flesh as much as HIS…*growl*…do they grow weary of keeping me here?” Satanis asked, puzzled by the change in behavior that Cherubix was suggesting.

“Because you giant furnace, they want to make an example out of you. You’re a trophy so that all the other humans will follow the humans here. Do you understand? They are going to let you go so they can hunt you.” Cherubix stated in desperation, trying to get the stubborn juggernaut to see his situation.

“I am the strongest, only with tricks did they beat me…if I am free…I will burn them all. They will all be dust *growl*.”

“Damnit! Angelis and the others are going to beat you into the ground to impress the other humans! Not even you can take them all at once, especially with that flying fur ball there to make sure you go down.” Satanis snorted in indignation but the raptor’s words were starting to sink in.

“If I die, HE will die as well. I will accept no other fate…*hiss*…HE is a coward to face me with them instead of alone. HE fears me…I smelled it then, I smell it now.”

“Listen, I have a plan. It will work but you have to survive this little witch hunt first.” Cherubix hissed through clenched fangs.

“Witch Hunt? Why would they hunt witch when they are hunting me? What is a witch?” Satanis groaned in confusion.

“Look, they are going to leave you on the surface-“

“Under the true sky?”

“Yes…under the true sky…and probably near a large dwelling of humans. Of course you’ll start eating them-“

“Apes are small like you, but they taste good. Best to eat herds of them…get more that way”

“I know…they are expecting you to destroy their lair and then the other subjects will appear to fight you.”

“Food, then fight…I like this. Why do you warn me little one? I find times like that very fun.” Satanis seemed to grin as his jaws revealed all of his razor sharp teeth in anticipation.

“Because they want to ambush and kill you that’s why! It’s a trap!” Cherubix screeched in frustration. Satanis’s mood seemed to sour as he tilted his head side to side as if to mix his thoughts together.

“They kill me with a trap? They won’t fight me alone?”

“Yes, now you get it. Angelis will be there too, just to make sure.”

“HIS doing…HIS tricks again…*snarl*”

“That’s right and you have to live. But to do that you must play dead understand?” Satanis seemed to struggle with the absurdity of such an idea.

“Why do I act dead, when I’m not dead?” Satanis grumbled.

“*sigh* Looks it’s like this.” Cherubix stated as he took a convincing swan dive to the floor sprawling himself out as he did. Satanis peered at his prone form with scrutiny.

“I do that? Why act dead? Can’t fight that way.”

“It’s simple. If you look dead, then they won’t try to kill you anymore. This is very important because I can’t set you free if you’re dead now can I?” Cherubix chirped smugly, this plan may just work after all. “You can’t do it too early though; otherwise they won’t fall for it.” Cherubix chortled as he shook the frost off himself and preened a few of his feathers.

“I think I understand…I fight but can’t win so I play dead. They don’t kill me…*hiss*…they take me back here and you make me free….*growl* then I kill HIM. Why do you do this for me?” Satanis growled wearily.

“You and I, have common enemies Satanis. I think we can both benefit from this. I can’t kill Angelis, you can. You can’t get to Father Fang or break out of here on your own, I can. Together both our enemies will die and we will both get to have our respective vengeance. It won’t just be you either; I’ll be freeing the others too…”

“You hate the white ape and HIM as well? What do you gain claw foot?”

“Let’s just say that you’re not the only one that’s bound in chains tyrant…mine are simply of a different kind than yours…and much harder to break.”

“You have chains too…the white ape…he cages you, like he does me.”

“Yes…in a way it’s very similar. No one can leave. We are all servants to his ‘god’. I’d rather be my own god if you get my drift.”

“I see. Then I will live and wait. You will return and free me. Free us…*hiss*…kill the white ape. Then HE will fall… I grow fond of you claw foot.”

“I’m touched, but I have to leave, they should be getting done with their lunch break about now. You have to pretend this didn’t happen. Understood? You’ll know when they try to put you to sleep again that its time.”

“I will wait claw foot. What does your pack call you little one?” Satanis rumbled as he lowered himself beneath the vapor clouds once more.

“You mean aside from king bastard of the universe? They call me Cherubix, the charming razor.” With that he was gone, zipping into the observation room, flipping the dial back to normal and all but sprinting back toward the warmer levels outside The Pit. Satanis almost purred as he shifted back into the freezing depths, the sheering cold beginning to fasten itself painfully to his body again.

“You’re an odd creature…Cherubix…I will wait. Soon…Sssoon…ssssooon. They will burnnnnn *sigh*” Satanis muttered deeply to himself as he allowed himself to fall asleep, the one time he could escape the biting cold if only for a little while…
This was something that used to be on the tail end of the St. Angelis bio and I realized that first person perspective didn't belong in there. I seperated it and turned it into a one shot adventure featuring Cherubix and Satanis. So basically Cherubix hates Angelis and privately resents Father Fang's authority over him so he goes seeking a deal from the 'devil' so to speak. FYI, Satanis is not 'stupid' so much as 'ignorant'. He's been in The Pit (Heavenly Fangs equivilent of a Maxium Security Prison) since pretty much the day he was born so higher dialog is either jumbled, fragmented, or missing entirely from his vocabulary. He's a lot like Conan or a barbarian king, very powerful, knows he's very powerful but also very cunning and intelligent when the need presents itself. A good amount of time socializing will do wonders for him.

Cherubix speaks with his throat communicator when he has to verbally communicate with humans and similarly language versed creatures. With raptors, dinosaurs, and other therapods, he can use his natural language which due to evolution and genetics is much more sophisiticated than it was some 50 billion years ago. This is how he communicates with Satanis as Satanis is a chimera and has plenty of ingrained genetic knowledge that he simply hasn't had a need to use in some cases. This is probably the first time he's seen a raptor up close so he falls back to 'Land Before Time' slang, labeling Cherubix a 'claw foot' and Cherubix refering to him as a 'tyrant' in turn. Cherubix is now shown to have a much smoother way of speaking when amongst similar species as he doesn't have to rely on the thought reading processes of the communicator, which only function when he thinks in human languages.

So basically this is a one shot side story that takes place between story 3 and 4. After Shimaku's rematch with Gayan Ahijit and before Mission Broken Cradle which is the crux of the 4th story. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

*side note* should you ever wonder what these buggers look like and their respective bios, they are in my gallery under 'characters'.

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Please read description!

The game is over. Bec Noir is dead, Lord English is nonexistant, the Human and Troll race are safe and can meet through a portal Equius, Dirk and Horuss made.

Jadesprite are no longer grimdark, Everyone is alive and well.

Their hearts content that they had survived and saved their own kind had sunk in and they all get ready to go to bed. With the music boxes that they had recieved from their servers and games, they continue to do their nighttime rituals.

Dave with Davesprite and his sick beats,
John with Nannasprite and Dad's presents,
Jadesprite with Jade's memorials,
And Rose with her books and Mom.

After all the trolls and kids did what they did before bedtime, John was the first to activate the music box. He opened the gold-laced mahogany lid, revealing Skaia with Prospit and Derse orbiting it.

The other players' boxes activated as well, slowly lulling them to sleep. All of them, Even Sollux and Mituna would sleep well and maybe even meet others who live on their dream planet. (Excluding Aradia/Aradiasprite/Aradiabot/ ARquiusprite[lol])

But as John was sitting on his bed, he smiled as he picked up a photo frame on his bedside table.

It was of him, Dave, Rose and Jade on summer vacation when they were still young, All smiling. Even Dave.

He set the sweet memory aside, laying down and covering himself with the sheets. And before all the players could go to their dream planet, they all could link their thoughts to one thing.

How far we've accomplished
Woop die doo die dah,
My first non-Xreader!

Shall I explain the sort-of sadstuck?

Okay, I was on YouTube for LOL Homestuck MMD, then I found the video. Go to YouTube and search "Lullaby for the gods".

It was so sad, and I had to do this. So this was born.

This is an AU where all timelines can visit earlier or later timelines, thus allowing Beta and Alpha to meet. And Guardians too.

So I hope you guys enjoyed it. I suggest reading it with the song.

Homestuck Andrew Hussie
Plot Me
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Michael: You know, I’ve been thinking about you Trevor. Your lifestyle.
Trevor: Oh, have you? Really?
Michael: Yes, I have. People always try to label you. You know, maniac, psycho….
Trevor: Friend….Industry leader…
Michael: In some ways you can defy categorization. But then….
Trevor: What?
Michael: Think about it. Where you live…
Trevor: Sandy Shores, you precious ass. I’m sorry there ain’t a place nearby for you to get your colonics.
Michael: Right. But why are you out here?
Trevor: It’s off the grid. We’re away from it all. It’s somewhere real and authentic. This is America, and real people ain’t been priced out yet.
Michael: Yeah, well what if it gets gentrified?
Trevor: Then I’ll fucking move.
Michael: Okay, what about the way you dress?
Trevor: What about it? I don’t give a shit what I wear.
Michael: No, no no. If you don’t give a shit, you wear clean clothes that fit. See, yours are all a little out there. A little wacky.
Trevor: Whatever’s in the shop, is what I get. Jesus, what is this?
Michael: It’s not an absence of taste, T, it’s the opposite of taste.
Trevor: You should be a stylist.
Michael: And then there’s the tattoos, the hair, the weird music, the funny toys, the niche drugs, the everything.
Trevor: What the fuck are we talking about?
Michael: You….are a hipster!
Trevor: What?
Michael: You’re a hipster.
Trevor: I hate hipsters.
Michael: Classic hipster denial.
Trevor: I abhor hipsters. I eat them for fun.
Michael: Hipsters love saying they hate hipsters.
Trevor: Well, I really fucking do.
Michael: Self-hatred. Common hipster affliction.
Trevor: Only because I’m living out here away from the Bean Machines, and the bankers?
Michael: You’re gentrifying. Soon the skinny jeans will show up, then the skinny lattes, and then the bankers. And you’ll be somewhere else starting the cycle all over again. Maybe you’re not a classic garden variety hipster, but you’re what the hipsters aspire to be. You, Trevor, are the proto-hipster.
Trevor: I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t agree with what you’re saying. You’re talking bullshit. And you’re trying to wind me up. But I’m very, very angry and I want this conversation to stop right away.
Michael: Hipster.
Trevor: Fuck you. Fuck you Michael. Say it again.
Michael: I’ve made my point. I’m not a sadist.
This made me cry with laughter. 
even if he is a hipster ;D

This belongs to Rockstar.

This can be heard, here;…
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Searching for every lonely existence
With dire heaven so worthy to hold on to
Why am I always being taken away
From love that Earth gives me

Crystal stargazing in the snow
My place between every tale and journey
Purity's everlasting seducing masquerade
As I feel her nakedness kiss me in my sleep

Hoping, hoping for life to become real again
Wishing to dare to be in her frozen ecstasy
Longing, longing to touch winter's crystal kiss again
Before the ocean melts in the heart

Standing forsaken every moment
With silence mercilessly merciful
What's there to remain what life left for me
Finding what's left of loving

Crystal stargazing from the sea
My place between every story and voyage
The evening's never-ending nightmare
As I wish for my soul to be baptized by the snow once more

Hoping, hoping for life to become real again
Wishing to dare to be in her frozen ecstasy
Longing, longing to touch winter's crystal kiss again
Before the ocean melts in the heart

Hoping, hoping for life to become real again
Wishing to dare to be in her frozen ecstasy
Longing, longing to touch winter's crystal kiss again
Before the ocean melts in the heart
@_@ Oh man, I'm still suffering from a burnout. My brain isn't thinking well like it used to when it comes to writing lyrics :( I'm starting to give up hope on writing more lyrics in the future

But anywho, I'm still continuing my tradition to write a winter-like theme lyric, every year :) This one is a sad one, however, because I moved recent half across the country, and where I live, it doesn't snow here, so I won't be experiencing the cold, crystal evenings with snow, and it makes me sad, because I love winter so much, and it won't be the same since I live in a State that's always warm, even in winter :depressed:

<.< Sorry for the rant
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Crypt Dragon's 101

The following documents are an overview over the biology, history, and culture of the kaiju that are known today as Fatalisdraco abyssus. Commonly known around the world as "Crypt Dragons". Sometimes referred to as Tomb Dragons or Tomb Wyrms. All below is based on human theory, and what the monsters Phenoraixa and Grimm have both told.
As well some artist comments.

Chapter One: What is a Crypt Dragon?
Crypt Dragons are in all terms of the word, a dragon. They are reptilian, breath fire, fly, and to an extent, are fascinated with items of value such as gold, silver, diamonds and other various gem stones. As for what kind of reptile, there are a handful of theories to there classification, but only one that stands out among the rest. To date, only one order of animals that the dragons resemble more then any other: The Squamta. The same group that includes all forms of lizard and snake.
However there is more to there ancestry then just lizards and snakes. Recent studies show that a Crypt Dragon has Quadrate Bones resembling that of other Squamata members, though not quite as flexible as many of there cousins. Comparing the skull structure to many modern day relatives, the Crypt Dragon's skull shape shares few similarities to confirm it.
It was discovered that experts were looking in the wrong place. There was a third member of the Squamata group that was overlooked at first: the Mosasaurs.
Mosasaurs were a group of Marine Reptiles living during the dinosaur age. Putting them side by side, the skulls had many similarities from the teeth to even the shape; minus the horns and curve the muzzle ever so slightly. This discovery has lead to the idea that somewhere along the line when Mosaurs were evolving along there rapid path of evolution of only six million years adaptations to the waterways, that the early and primitive ancestors of the Crypt Dragon had appeared.
Some time later near the end of the Mesozoic Era, Crypt Dragons had been fully realized and had become not only a dominate and prominent species, but an evasive one as well that threatened the planets very balance. Or so the theory goes.
When the KT event happened and ended the reign of dinosaurs, the dragons, being as large as they are, seemingly vanished as well from the earths history. With the planet already under stress for various reasons, the meteor brought and end to the planets first reigning species: both of them.
Naturally they didn't die out, nor was it the last time the dragons would be seen by the earths history since both Crypt Dragons, Hera and Thanatos, both are alive in the present.

Chapter Two: The Second Rise
For millions of years, the dragons had not died, but had went into a sort of hibernation that could rival that of a Water Bear. Most of the species did indeed die out with the terrible lizards, but some still lived. They waited, and slept, until the day came when the earth was able to sustain there species once more. Only a few thousand years before the rise of man, Crypt Dragons had returned. Ever since man could tell history from paintings on his wall, dragons have been seen by human ancestors. This means at the very least, they had reawakened before humanity, giving a sturdy idea of when they returned.
The other reason this theory is widely accepted by the present is because there was no more major extinctions up until man kind first arrived.
Not only had the dragons arrived, a second organism had also appeared on earth that filled a very similar roll as the dragons: The Garuda's. Garuda's first appeared in the east, though to be around what is now India and Asia, where its believed the dragons appeared what is now the Americas. It wasn't until both species rose to power and into cultures when there blood feud had began.

Chapter Three: Culture Appears
Millions years have past since they had returned, and the dragons began to flourish. Not only had they once more claimed many continents, but many have split off from there original ancestors and started there own population. Not onto did they split off, over time they had grown farther more intelligent.
It got to the point were the populations had become tribes and began warring on each other. Many bloody fights came and went. Hundreds of years of fighting, and eventually it came down to a handful of populations, each controlling a continent; North America and Canada, Central America, South America, Europe, Greenland, Africa, and Australia had all become the kingdom to each population of dragons.
As time went by, many what could be called Civil Wars broke out among there own which all led to different ways of living.
Cultures thrived, Each different. Some were more brutal and veracious than others. The culture of Aztecs, Mesopotamians, Incas and many others had sacrifices to the dragons as part of the dragons rule as an example.
Others such as Africa were more peaceful, at least by the standards of others. The worst by record according to one living Garuda, Phenoraixa, was Australia. Australia was once said to be mostly lush jungle like in the northern areas. According to the bird, the dragons there feel into anarchy and eventually burned there own world down until most of the continent had become barren and unsuitable to all but the truly adapted.
Eventually it came to the point were the continents were reached ruled by one lead male who ruled over all other female dragons within there domain. After that was decided amongst there own, there was much peace between each, what became species, of Crypt Dragon. The inbreeding became a issue of how "pure" each species had claimed itself to be. This of course became part of there downfall…
Language of the dragons is completely lost. No records of it exist, and what little of the culture survives are un unreadable ruins that are found in South America.

Chapter 4: What of humans in this time of dragon rule?
Humans may have suffered the most in the time of the Crypt Dragon. Many species suffered from predation of the titanic creatures and ultimately extinction. Humans, on the other hand, were either smart enough, lucky enough, or maybe even unlucky enough to live alongside them. Some parts of the world worshipped them as gods, deities, devils and other supernatural figures of great mythology. Others suffered. Old tales of knights putting there lives on the line echo to this day and beckon a second glance from the world.
Some parts of the world during their reign, humans were ignored. Others were recognized, and others sought humans as a means of labor. South America is the greatest example of this. Gruesome sacrifice and heavy payments in order to survive total genocide at the wrath of an angry dragon. Tributes of gold, temples and worship led to a dark age that could only be described as similar to the Age of The Jaguar if it took a dreadful twist of even darker methods.
About the time near the golden age of the dragons, humans had actually discovered methods to hunt down Crypt Dragons successfully. Methods included massive nets large enough to entrap an adult(or a younger juvenile at least) and the use of truly gigantic weaponry of primitive designs. Later methods included the famous invention of gunpowder from the ever clever Chinese who invented it. Eventually the idea of fireworks lead to the first rockets, and the age of dragonslaying became well known. This also ended up as part reason for when the Crypt Dragons had became near extinct for the second time in earths history.

Chapter 5: Dragon Ecology
Thankfully there's much evidence to the ecological life behind Crypt Dragons, other then there unusually interesting culture that surpass chimpanzees and rival human beings.
Due to there size, almost anything under the sun was considered prey to the them. However there main diet did not come from animals, but a species of mold of all things. Another kaiju and a very inactive one at that, Ambrosia Mushrooms make up over 50% of the diet for all Crypt Dragons. Not only that, but the two species can no thrive without each other.
Ambrosia require a very high temperature to germinate there spores. Only three place's on earth offers this: Volcanoes, there own means of producing flame, and the flames of Crypt Dragons which burn by thousands of degrees Fahrenheit. Spores of Ambrosia can always germinate in the volcano their parent exists, but there is only so much space. That is until the dragons came. The idea is that the spores will attach to the dragons and be transported to new volcanoes where spores can germinate into new colonies of Ambrosia, thus spreading the species.
In turn, the dragons get more of there food source, but that is not all. As it turns out, Crypt Dragons need to eat Ambrosia at a young age in order to breath fire. The bacteria that produce the napalm gas in there stomachs has to be gained and not there by birth. So it is crucial that both species survive to benefit each other and keep there own species in alive.  
When it comes to breeding, Crypt Dragons are interesting in almost every way. Mating behavior changed through out the history, but the most notable is when one male reigned over an entire continent and all females within there reign were owned by the one single male. Other males did exist, but almost all were the son offspring of the dominant male and thus loyal to there father.
When a female enters her estrus, the lead male mate with her several times before releasing her back to her own nest. Once a female is carrying eggs, she will construct a nest of ash, rock, and water to make a sturdy foundation. After the nest is built, females will lay anywhere between one and eight eggs.
After that, its guard duty for the female. Dragon eggs take about five months to hatch. In the mean time, females never leave the nest unless chasing off threats. Crypt Dragons are also communal nesters, nesting around each other for greater protection if the opportunity arises. Crypt Dragon parents are so attached to there offspring, that losing them can send them to near madness. Some never recover.
At last when the eggs hatch, the offspring have a habit of getting into every sort of mischief possible. Every bit as vicious as there parents, they get into everything. Under there parents feet, in there fathers den occasionally, and having more then enough fun burning down human structures.
Lesser males become a sort of elite fighter for dragon populations. Where females are the typically seen members, males are bigger and more armored with a dark coloration that is similar to black volcanic slate. Full of testosterone and ambitious as all males would be, they itch for fighting and often do fight. If not fighting, then its torching something.
After a few years, young draclings are sub adults and find there place among there sisters, mothers and aunts. Most become just more of the ever growing harem where others either abandon there home range to seek a rouge life, or a life with another male that isn't there kin. Others are traded.

Chapter 6: Downfall of Crypt Dragons
Many factors contributed to Crypt Dragon decline to its two surviving members today. One issue that probably became inevitable from the way the culture of the dragons existed was inbreeding. With only a handful of males ruling large masses of land, it was inevitable. Immunity faded and genetic defaults saw to the survival of the fittest, so to speak.
Another factor was humans. Human beings had rose to power at one point with gunpowder, brains and other elements that lead to ways to killing Crypt Dragons of various sizes. To what extent is unknown, but if juveniles can be killed before they even grow to adults, then it came to no surprise that humans became part of the reason.
Another reason is the dragons own greed. Referring to Australia again, the dragons proved too successful to last forever. They had begun to burn themselves from existence out of there own nature.
However the biggest reason of all is the Garuda's. The collision of species, both were severely dented in population. Out of the two, Garuda's were the first to die off save for Phenoraixa, Grimm, and there mother. After there mother was killed, the two single handedly saw to the utter genocide of almost all of the species. Only two known dragons are alive. It is possible others could still be dormant.

Chapter 7: Crypt Dragons in Other Universes and related species
For a kaiju, Crypt Dragons are very adaptable and diverse to the point that there existence stretches beyond dimensional barriers.
Neith is a cousin species of the Crypt Dragons, called a Tomb Dragon. Instead of flame breath, she spits acid and is an unusually calm creature. As well, her species is herbivorous opposed to the carnivore diet of the original species.
Tezzera is yet another dragon that has adapted to such a severe environment that it is a near god. Tezzera and his kind are a species of Crypt Dragon that live in between dimensions. They are able to tear holes in dimensions, creating a pocket outside of time and space for there homes.
Another universe has so many species in it, that the dragons are proven to be possibly the most adaptive kaiju to exist.
A little something I had hiding back in my documents for when the time was right. I decided to do a little in-depth document explaining Crypt Dragons a little more.
It sort of breaks the 4th wall as I am sort of talking in a first person perspective, talking of Kaiju All Stars, Tezzera who is appearing in Crimson Vagrants series, and Raven who made a related species called Tomb Dragons.

Not much to say outside of whats already in the document. So enjoy.
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