The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
Ultimate Showdown Song ParodyThe Ultimate Battle of League of Legends Champions Song ParodyUltimate Showdown Song Parody5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Parody of The Ultimate Showdown of the Ultimate Destiny
By Zach Melmet
Fed chogath was feasting about
The league like it was an in-n-out
When suddenly hiemerdinger burst from the shade
And hit chogath with a cussion grenade
Chogath got pissed and began to scream
But got distracted by nidalee
Who proceeded to pounce him in cougar stance
When sona came and made them all dance
And sona started singing a cool beat
When she got hit by evelynns feet
But before Evelyn could shadow walk away
Amumu hugged her asked to stay
But amumu started crying from all of his fears
And drowned Evelyn in all of his tears
Then he became sad and ran away
But tf ulted in the way
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Silences stuns and spell casting
As far as the fog of war
And only 1 can beat all
And take home all the winnings
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Chogath ate all of twisted fate
A Silent Exclamation Mark"They're arguing again," Said the boy, "My parents always argue. If their relationship was punctuation, then theirs would be an Exclamation Mark. I'm quite sure of it."A Silent Exclamation Mark4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The girl, who was sitting on the garden wall beside him, giggled, "How can you compare love to grammar...? The two things are very different."
"Not to grammarians!" pointed out the boy, "No, it can. You see, my mum and dad are always arguing but never seriously and at the end they always kiss and laugh about it. Go on, think on it, what would your parents be?"
The girl's smile slid like a tear from her face, "My parents would be a question mark," she murmured softly, "Ever since my mum got ill my dad doesn't seem to love her anymore..."
The frosty breeze blew. No one spoke.
"I'm sorry," whispered the boy at last, sobriety weighing down heavily on his otherwise youthful words.
"Don't be," she replied with a plastered on grin, "I li
Twilight Clones Herself and She Gang Rapes HitlerTwilight Clones Herself and She Gang Rapes Hitler1 year ago in Humor More Like This
Chapter I- The Dawning of The Unicorn Butt Stabber
Adulf Hitler was in his Nazi lair of Nazi evil and was just sitting around coming up with evil Nazi plans for robots and some stupid shit when he suddenly wanted some orange juice.
"Boi, this sure has been a tough day at the office killing Jews, I could go for some orange juice." Addie said and he got up and went to his refridgertar for some orange juice.
SUDDENLY, A ROBOT ARM REACHED OUT AND GRABBED HIM BY HIS BALLS AND PULLED HIM INTO THE FRIDGE!!!!!11!!!!11!!!!
Hitler was all like "Whoa, muy no bueno!!!!" and he was pulled in.
SUDDENLY!!! He found himself in a strange library and a stupid looking pony thing was looking at him funneh.
Adolf The Hitt looked around. It was a LIBRARAY!!!!!
"DA FUCK YOU LOOKING ATTTTTT!!!!" Hitler said with much rage!!!!!
"A faget" Said the purple pony. Hitler smiled. At least she was being honest!!!
"My name is Purple Smart" said the purple smart pony, "And I
The Empty ChildThe Empty ChildThe Empty Child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hear everything too loudly
I am falling apart
I grew up too fast
I am still a child
I cannot stand still
I see every detail
I cannot remember what I'm doing
I talk about dinosaurs and doctors and darkrooms
I cry for no reason
I do not have the ability to cry now
I see the world differently
I wish you saw it like me
I have a puzzle to put together
I wonder if you'll help me
I hear a song and must sing it
I see a picture and must take it
I see a world, a broken world
I want to fix that, too
I want to play
I need to work
I close my eyes and fall asleep
I remember everything
I forget my head
I stand in blue light
I see the world in shades of blue
I am lost
I have been waiting for you
I am the empty child
Are you my mommy?
10 quotes by George S. Patton10 Quotes by George S. Patton10 quotes by George S. Patton9 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
1: "You can't run an army without profanity"
2: "Ask them if they want me to give it back."
-After being told not to march on Messina, already having captured it
3: "Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!"
-Upon defeating Erwin Rommel's forces in North Africa
4: "Remember that the enemy is just as frightened as you are, and probably more so. They are not supermen."
5: "A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood."
6: "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men."
7: "There are four hundred neatly marked graves somewhere in Sicily. All because one man went to sleep on the job. But they are German graves, because we caught the bastard asleep before they did."
8: "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."
9: "Just drive down that road until you get blown up."
-Instructions to reconnaissance troops
10: "May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't."
There are many more, but I said 10!
The DictatorSitting in a palatial wardroomThe Dictator3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Surrounded by bullet-ridden walls
He watches the latest soap opera
Tearing up as he learns
That Jeffy won't be playing football again
Fool the people
Play the game
Before you knock
Tell me my name
His guns are shiny
His shoes are too
His teeth are capped in platinum
His arms are tattooed
Fool the people
Play the game
Showering with filthy billions
Still you reek of shame
It's the U.S. on Line 1
It's the Kremlin on Line 2
Is my yacht ready
Make sure it's stocked with champagne
Fool the people
Play the game
Are you winning
As you run in vain?
Schmoozing with the debutantes
Of Princes in your land
They bow to kiss your ring
Isn't life grand?
As choppers cut down the rabble
Thrill to the 30mm auto-cannon serenade
Blood fills the gutters
And new orphans weep, afraid
Fool the people
Play the game
Satan has your table ready
At the Chateau d' Profane
Cameras flash as reporters query
Do you still intend to parry
The critique of your sty
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
The Carnival of Lights- ProloguePrologue: The CarnivalThe Carnival of Lights- Prologue1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Kylee absently twisted the copper bangles around her wrists, tilting them this way and that so that the metal caught the pulsing lights from different angles. She shook her hair out of her eyes, which permitted them to restlessly sweep across the glittering menagerie before her, unobstructed. Fortune tellers and freaks, games and fire eaters, smoky lights shattering off mirrors, sparkling costumes to offset gross deformity dancing about the girl on all sides. The dizzying, spectacle spiraled about, over, and all around the heaving crowds of guests, as if chasing the drifting currents of music.
Kylee flinched, a shudder of horror crawling up between her shoulder blades, as she met eyes with a scaly boy, who crouched behind the bars of a cramped and rusted cage. His tongue was red, caked with sores and dried blood. Kylee almost retched at the sight of it, shifting behind teeth which were black and rotting under the weight of years of neglect. The boy seemed to have
Islam Is Not Peaceful (But Neither Is Anyone Else)Greetings all!Islam Is Not Peaceful (But Neither Is Anyone Else)2 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
This piece comes after a brief break I took in order to work out the final weeks of my high school education. Now that it has been concluded, I likely won’t be taking such leaves of absence for a while now. Beyond that, I've decided to make Islam (and religion in general) a topic this week due to some events as of late which convinced me to tear open the wounds anew. The events I speak of range from the beheading of a British soldier to the stabbing of a French soldier. While the latter has not been confirmed as being in the name of Islam, the events surrounding it would suggest so. This is in contrast to the former, where Islamic extremism has been identified as the clear cause. And while I’d l
The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with
Guide - realistic dictatorI've noticed a trend of having dictator/world-ruler/people in a position of power characters. Normally, I find these types of characters fascinating - I love hearing the minutiae of how they keep their regime in control, the cults of personality they develop, their rise and their fall ... it's one of the reasons I love 1984 so much; is Big Brother real? Did he even exist in the first place? Who is the real leader of Oceania? Unfortunately, I've begun to see it addressed shoddily and without much thought, so I decided to make a guide of sorts (more like a glorified checklist) for anyone who is curious on how to develop their dictatorial character, and to make them realistic.Guide - realistic dictator4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. Why do they want power?
I have seen this written away with, "because they want to control everyone", which is true to an extent with many historical figures who were dictators, and also fictional characters. However, this often goes much deeper than "wanting to control everyone" or "they're mad, I tell you! MAD!"
The Business of Murder"Well, now that we're through with the pleasantries, Mr. Daniels, I must ask: Why is it that you want to die?"The Business of Murder4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Joseph Daniels sighed and slumped down in his seat, the picture of unkemptness. His face looked tired, with large bags underneath his eyes and at least three days' worth of stubble. His hair was a mess, his clothes were disheveled. He seemed to exude an aura of despair.
He surveyed the room he was in, which was quite his opposite: neat, orderly, unremarkable. Blank, white walls, some filing cabinents, three windows looking out on downtown. He was sitting in a plain, wooden chair in front of a plain, wooden desk with merely a fake houseplant and laptop on top.
The woman behind the desk, typing notes on the laptop, was similarly forgettable. She was dressed in a black pantsuit, her dark brown hair in a bun. Her eyes were blue, but otherwise ordinary. She wore little makeup on her plain face. She was as unremarkable as the room, which was how she liked it.
She had introduced hers
The martyr of loveI am still a stranger in your battlefieldThe martyr of love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My rifle on my shoulder, I do not mean to fight
My tears cutting the ground under your feet
You stand over my bleeding body
Your cold blade dripping your way out
You stab me, once and twice, you grin at my wounds
My blood meets the thirsty salty soil
They greet, they hug, they mate under your feet
They give birth to the wild bloody roses
Where every wound blooms once more
I hear your walk away, leaving my barren land
I pray for death to push the arrow deeper in my back
To take the last hopeless breath, the last breeze of love
Bury me where the old moon was born
Let my head rest in a land of cinnamon and honey
When the white hands arrive with their remedy
Tell them all my birds left me and flew north
I do not wish to heal, I do not pray for cure
Battered and broken, my heart left the shore
Helicase Helio and I were always sitting on the stairs, chatting about the lamina and occasionally making snide remarks about ribosomes. There wasn't much for us to do. Our job was to simply be, and let the RNA polymerase scribble down the letters on our foreheads when they came around every once in a while. Helio was a G, I was a C. It wasn't exactly fulfilling, I suppose. There wasn't much to be filled. So to pass the time, we talked.Helicase3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"You ever wonder?" Helio asked.
"About...well...what's out there." Helio and I were rooted to the stairs, quite happily, but it was awkward to move in. He kind of twisted in the general direction of the closest pore. "Out in the cytoplasm."
"I haven't," I admitted. "What's there to wonder about?"
"That's exactly the thing. I have no idea." Helio sighed, gazing into the distance. "Somehow it feels like we pl
Principalities and Powers IINames MeaningPrincipalities and Powers II4 years ago in Settings More Like This
Beelzebub Lord of the Flies 2 Kings 1:2, Matthew 12:24
Belial Worthless &
Principalities and PowersThe angels that did not keep their proper domain Jude 1:6Principalities and Powers4 years ago in Settings More Like This
The angels who sinned II Peter 2:4
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
My Journey to FaithMy own journey to faith has been a long complex one.My Journey to Faith5 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Like most African Americans of the 30's, my parents were raised in the church, but neither
of them were really Christians. Furthermore my dad had a bitter experience in church when he
was young that forever soured him to religion and he had absolutely no interest in it.
Mom believed in God and enjoyed watching Robert Schuller's on TV, but her belief in God was mixed
with a hodgepodge of other things, including reincarnation. She was also a firm believer in 'to each his own.'
She thought that all paths led to God and that as long as one led a good life that was enough.
Despite this, God had His hand on me, because from the time I was little I instinctively sought Him.
Very early on I had a deep curiosity and hunger for spiritual things. I loved Bible stories and was
very curious about God. On the few occasions my mom or some other relative took me to visit a church
or Sunday school, I always felt a strange yearning. I wanted something
Boobage PainFor the rather long time they had been together, there was always a certain question riding on Luffy's mind whenever he glanced at Hancock's breasts, or her "honkin' huge tits" as Sanji liked to call them. In Luffy's eyes, giant breasts like that just didn't look very comfortable to be carrying around all the time. So, he decided to ask Hancock about it, in hopes of getting an answer to all of his pondering.Boobage Pain6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"...Do they hurt?" Monkey D. Luffy asked completely out of the blue, taking a light poke at one of Boa Hancock's large, bulging breasts. Hancock herself was a bit taken aback for a moment, but then her lips curled upwards into a soft smile. She completely adored Luffy's affectionately stupid curiosity; it was just one of the many things she loved about him. It was like he knew everything, and yet nothing, at the same time. The fact he was actually touching her cleavage, something she had never allowed anyone to even stare at for more than a few minutes before, only made her heart b
Yuka Kazami vs Chris: Part 4"Chirstine, I'm tellwing mawm on yooh, you stoopid bitch!" Cera squealed loudly. Christine had taken Cera's favorite toy, her teddy bear, and now she was having a hissy fit and wrecking the place.Yuka Kazami vs Chris: Part 45 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"It's mine! 'cause I'm da oldest," Christine stuck out her tongue. "And you can't have eet because you're ugly."
"I WANT IT BACCKKKK!" Cera shrieked at the top of her lungs. "GIMME MAH DOOLY!"
"Children, what is going on?!" Rosechu came into the room, with an apron on her front and carrying a ladle in her hand.
"Christine stole mah teddeh!" Cera sobbed.
Rosechu stood in between them. "That is enough! Christine, you will give her teddy back, right now!" She glared at her eldest daughter.
"Fine," Christine handed Cera her teddy, stuck out her tongue at her, and went back to looking at herself in the mirror. Cera just stuck out her tongue and cuddled her big, goofy-looking teddy.
"Now, I'm going to the market, so be good while I'm gone," Rosechu
Putting Up my WallsPutting Up My WallsPutting Up my Walls3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I used to have my walls down for everyone to come in
Anyone who seemed to care, anyone who "loved" me
But then I was used, thrown on the ground and stepped on
Till I was bruised, bleeding, weak and completely paralyzed
And from that day forward, I began to build up very tall walls
around my scarred up heart filled with shards of broken glass
So tall that if anyone were to even attempt and climb over them
That they'd become tired, and their hands full of oozing blisters.
No, I never had the desire to let one person in again to abuse me
The walls that have stood for years have caused my heart to chill
Because I didn't want to allow any ray of sunshine to come upon it
In fear that it would eventually become a horrible haunting darkness
That would cause me to recoil further into deep depressing despair
I'd rather be alone within these tall walls, then to be hurt again
For I believe even if I do find that one who manages to climb over
There will still be
cinderella died yesterday"burn your tiaras,cinderella died yesterday3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bury your fairy godmother.
it's time for you to grow up now, you're
no peter pan.
forget never never land.
stars are just burning balls of gas that are
slowly running out of time- they can't
hear your wishes.
cast aside your dr. seuss books like you will
later cast aside your bibles.
after all, a fairy tale is a fairytale is a fairytale.
life will teach you that.
grace, you were born into a role
only a very strong girl can play.
see, society will hate you for being
what they don't want to believe.
surrender your throne, your castle is under siege.
stop being fascinated with the sky,
you'll never go there.
keep your feet on the ground, and steady yourself
before you help another.
your brain is more logical than your heart,
therefore take your instructions from it.
promises can be broken as easily as can be made.
do not rely on something as weak as miracles and love-
and if you only have one piece of armor,
defend your back from the people you trust the most.