The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
The Empty ChildThe Empty ChildThe Empty Child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hear everything too loudly
I am falling apart
I grew up too fast
I am still a child
I cannot stand still
I see every detail
I cannot remember what I'm doing
I talk about dinosaurs and doctors and darkrooms
I cry for no reason
I do not have the ability to cry now
I see the world differently
I wish you saw it like me
I have a puzzle to put together
I wonder if you'll help me
I hear a song and must sing it
I see a picture and must take it
I see a world, a broken world
I want to fix that, too
I want to play
I need to work
I close my eyes and fall asleep
I remember everything
I forget my head
I stand in blue light
I see the world in shades of blue
I am lost
I have been waiting for you
I am the empty child
Are you my mommy?
Ultimate Showdown Song ParodyThe Ultimate Battle of League of Legends Champions Song ParodyUltimate Showdown Song Parody4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Parody of The Ultimate Showdown of the Ultimate Destiny
By Zach Melmet
Fed chogath was feasting about
The league like it was an in-n-out
When suddenly hiemerdinger burst from the shade
And hit chogath with a cussion grenade
Chogath got pissed and began to scream
But got distracted by nidalee
Who proceeded to pounce him in cougar stance
When sona came and made them all dance
And sona started singing a cool beat
When she got hit by evelynns feet
But before Evelyn could shadow walk away
Amumu hugged her asked to stay
But amumu started crying from all of his fears
And drowned Evelyn in all of his tears
Then he became sad and ran away
But tf ulted in the way
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Silences stuns and spell casting
As far as the fog of war
And only 1 can beat all
And take home all the winnings
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Chogath ate all of twisted fate
The Five Hundred Worlds of UltramarFive Hundred Worlds of UltramarThe Five Hundred Worlds of Ultramar3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Macragge Konor Prandium Calth Espandor
Iax Quintarn Tarentus Masali Talassar
Parmenio Firestorm Gathis II Newfound Lorin Alpha
Mancora Ithaka Vilamus Honourum Orpheus Prime
Cyclades Epsilon Cyclades Kappa Armato Sabatin
A Silent Exclamation Mark"They're arguing again," Said the boy, "My parents always argue. If their relationship was punctuation, then theirs would be an Exclamation Mark. I'm quite sure of it."A Silent Exclamation Mark4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The girl, who was sitting on the garden wall beside him, giggled, "How can you compare love to grammar...? The two things are very different."
"Not to grammarians!" pointed out the boy, "No, it can. You see, my mum and dad are always arguing but never seriously and at the end they always kiss and laugh about it. Go on, think on it, what would your parents be?"
The girl's smile slid like a tear from her face, "My parents would be a question mark," she murmured softly, "Ever since my mum got ill my dad doesn't seem to love her anymore..."
The frosty breeze blew. No one spoke.
"I'm sorry," whispered the boy at last, sobriety weighing down heavily on his otherwise youthful words.
"Don't be," she replied with a plastered on grin, "I li
Twilight Clones Herself and She Gang Rapes HitlerTwilight Clones Herself and She Gang Rapes Hitler10 months ago in Humor More Like This
Chapter I- The Dawning of The Unicorn Butt Stabber
Adulf Hitler was in his Nazi lair of Nazi evil and was just sitting around coming up with evil Nazi plans for robots and some stupid shit when he suddenly wanted some orange juice.
"Boi, this sure has been a tough day at the office killing Jews, I could go for some orange juice." Addie said and he got up and went to his refridgertar for some orange juice.
SUDDENLY, A ROBOT ARM REACHED OUT AND GRABBED HIM BY HIS BALLS AND PULLED HIM INTO THE FRIDGE!!!!!11!!!!11!!!!
Hitler was all like "Whoa, muy no bueno!!!!" and he was pulled in.
SUDDENLY!!! He found himself in a strange library and a stupid looking pony thing was looking at him funneh.
Adolf The Hitt looked around. It was a LIBRARAY!!!!!
"DA FUCK YOU LOOKING ATTTTTT!!!!" Hitler said with much rage!!!!!
"A faget" Said the purple pony. Hitler smiled. At least she was being honest!!!
"My name is Purple Smart" said the purple smart pony, "And I
Adaptation Part 3Adaptation P3Adaptation Part 35 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I had never seen this part of the hive before. It seemed planned out manufactured. I'm not sure how to put it really. The walls seemed square-ish. It suddenly occurred to me that the hive was underground, near a township that I had passed on the bus ride here. Something caught my eye (if you'll excuse the irony in that statement) something gleaming within the resin. Breaking away the sticky secretions, I found a bright yellow sign. The smaller letters had worn away with age, but I was still able to make out "Pump Station 4". It took me a minute to realize where I was. This was a water treatment plant, specifically one I saw just before we had driven into the park.
A noise caught my attention. It sounded like someone being smothered muted moans and cries. I followed the sounds, delving deeper into the pseudo-industrial sec
10 quotes by George S. Patton10 Quotes by George S. Patton10 quotes by George S. Patton9 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
1: "You can't run an army without profanity"
2: "Ask them if they want me to give it back."
-After being told not to march on Messina, already having captured it
3: "Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!"
-Upon defeating Erwin Rommel's forces in North Africa
4: "Remember that the enemy is just as frightened as you are, and probably more so. They are not supermen."
5: "A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood."
6: "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men."
7: "There are four hundred neatly marked graves somewhere in Sicily. All because one man went to sleep on the job. But they are German graves, because we caught the bastard asleep before they did."
8: "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."
9: "Just drive down that road until you get blown up."
-Instructions to reconnaissance troops
10: "May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't."
There are many more, but I said 10!
Islam Is Not Peaceful (But Neither Is Anyone Else)Greetings all!Islam Is Not Peaceful (But Neither Is Anyone Else)2 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
This piece comes after a brief break I took in order to work out the final weeks of my high school education. Now that it has been concluded, I likely won’t be taking such leaves of absence for a while now. Beyond that, I've decided to make Islam (and religion in general) a topic this week due to some events as of late which convinced me to tear open the wounds anew. The events I speak of range from the beheading of a British soldier to the stabbing of a French soldier. While the latter has not been confirmed as being in the name of Islam, the events surrounding it would suggest so. This is in contrast to the former, where Islamic extremism has been identified as the clear cause. And while I’d l
The DictatorSitting in a palatial wardroomThe Dictator3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Surrounded by bullet-ridden walls
He watches the latest soap opera
Tearing up as he learns
That Jeffy won't be playing football again
Fool the people
Play the game
Before you knock
Tell me my name
His guns are shiny
His shoes are too
His teeth are capped in platinum
His arms are tattooed
Fool the people
Play the game
Showering with filthy billions
Still you reek of shame
It's the U.S. on Line 1
It's the Kremlin on Line 2
Is my yacht ready
Make sure it's stocked with champagne
Fool the people
Play the game
Are you winning
As you run in vain?
Schmoozing with the debutantes
Of Princes in your land
They bow to kiss your ring
Isn't life grand?
As choppers cut down the rabble
Thrill to the 30mm auto-cannon serenade
Blood fills the gutters
And new orphans weep, afraid
Fool the people
Play the game
Satan has your table ready
At the Chateau d' Profane
Cameras flash as reporters query
Do you still intend to parry
The critique of your sty
The Carnival of Lights- ProloguePrologue: The CarnivalThe Carnival of Lights- Prologue1 year ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Kylee absently twisted the copper bangles around her wrists, tilting them this way and that so that the metal caught the pulsing lights from different angles. She shook her hair out of her eyes, which permitted them to restlessly sweep across the glittering menagerie before her, unobstructed. Fortune tellers and freaks, games and fire eaters, smoky lights shattering off mirrors, sparkling costumes to offset gross deformity dancing about the girl on all sides. The dizzying, spectacle spiraled about, over, and all around the heaving crowds of guests, as if chasing the drifting currents of music.
Kylee flinched, a shudder of horror crawling up between her shoulder blades, as she met eyes with a scaly boy, who crouched behind the bars of a cramped and rusted cage. His tongue was red, caked with sores and dried blood. Kylee almost retched at the sight of it, shifting behind teeth which were black and rotting under the weight of years of neglect. The boy seemed to have
Guide - realistic dictatorI've noticed a trend of having dictator/world-ruler/people in a position of power characters. Normally, I find these types of characters fascinating - I love hearing the minutiae of how they keep their regime in control, the cults of personality they develop, their rise and their fall ... it's one of the reasons I love 1984 so much; is Big Brother real? Did he even exist in the first place? Who is the real leader of Oceania? Unfortunately, I've begun to see it addressed shoddily and without much thought, so I decided to make a guide of sorts (more like a glorified checklist) for anyone who is curious on how to develop their dictatorial character, and to make them realistic.Guide - realistic dictator4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. Why do they want power?
I have seen this written away with, "because they want to control everyone", which is true to an extent with many historical figures who were dictators, and also fictional characters. However, this often goes much deeper than "wanting to control everyone" or "they're mad, I tell you! MAD!"
I'm a monsterWe all have little monsters in usI'm a monster2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that whisper ugly words into our ears.
My soul is at war, it is a fight
between the human and the monster in me,
and I fear... that the monster will win.
The monster controls me...
it forces me to think the worst of others
and it tells me to isolate myself,
to protect myself from those evil humans.
The monster dictates my every move,
I must pretend that I am a human...
lest anyone think of me as a monster.
The human inside of me has long died
and the seemingly innocent person you see
is nothing but a disgusting monster
hiding in the body of another,
preying on the weaknesses -
the weaknesses of those frail humans
and feasting on their flaws.
I wanted to be human,
but I'm a monster.
And I hate myself for it.
The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with
The Business of Murder"Well, now that we're through with the pleasantries, Mr. Daniels, I must ask: Why is it that you want to die?"The Business of Murder4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Joseph Daniels sighed and slumped down in his seat, the picture of unkemptness. His face looked tired, with large bags underneath his eyes and at least three days' worth of stubble. His hair was a mess, his clothes were disheveled. He seemed to exude an aura of despair.
He surveyed the room he was in, which was quite his opposite: neat, orderly, unremarkable. Blank, white walls, some filing cabinents, three windows looking out on downtown. He was sitting in a plain, wooden chair in front of a plain, wooden desk with merely a fake houseplant and laptop on top.
The woman behind the desk, typing notes on the laptop, was similarly forgettable. She was dressed in a black pantsuit, her dark brown hair in a bun. Her eyes were blue, but otherwise ordinary. She wore little makeup on her plain face. She was as unremarkable as the room, which was how she liked it.
She had introduced hers
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
Principalities and Powers IINames MeaningPrincipalities and Powers II4 years ago in Settings More Like This
Beelzebub Lord of the Flies 2 Kings 1:2, Matthew 12:24
Belial Worthless &
Raise Your Weapon - 1 You cringed as you heard the bell that dismisses school for the day. You didn't want to go home, but you had to for your mother. 'What if he is there...? What if he came home early?' You thought to yourself solemnly.Raise Your Weapon - 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Walking with an emotionless expression to the front doors to exit the school, you accidentally bump into one of your friends. Immidiately getting pulled out of thought, you looked up at your friend and he smiled brightly. "Hello, [Name]! I haven't seen you all day."
"Hey, Mr. Kirkland. That might be because I don't have your class this year, and all my classes are on the second floor. You also didn't show up for lunch today," you stated blankly. Yes, your best friend at this school was a teacher. He was your English teacher for the past two years, this being your third year of high school.
"I told you just to call me Arthur. You don't have to be so formal
AVP: Welcome To The HiveDarkness and pain, the dream always the same. I would be in a massive void, then I would start to hear voices, screaming and the such. I hated it because I started to always feel the pain, their pain. Pain that I had to inflict, not by choice, but I still did it. They called for me to help but all I wanted to do was block them out, I couldn't help! After a whole night of this I always woke up in a cold sweat, and sometimes a large head ache. And this time was no different.AVP: Welcome To The Hive5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
I sat up in my bed with a rush, the clock blaring next to me with a big 6:15-AM on it. I hit it shutting the thing up. I reached up and rubbed my head, which hurt beyond belief. It felt like I had just been beaten with a hammer while I slept in the same spot non-stop. And I know who held the hammer, The Xenomorphs, or Aliens to the less educated. I deserved it I guess, for all the times I'd put pain to them. I was a keeper, and even though I hated my job with a passion it kept me alive.
Keepers are kind of like guard
Adaptation Pt.1Adaptation Pt.1Adaptation Pt.18 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
I really hated this. Crammed into some shitty little school bus going to some jackass nature hike and being forced to sit beside a girl who wouldnt put down her Twinkies. It was part of my ecology study. We were headed to Algonquin Park for a 5 day trek into gods country. I hated nature. The way I see it, we fought our way to the top of the food chain, out of Mother Natures grasp. Why should we go back into it? When the bus stops, stay in your seats and wait to be called. When you hear your name, say present and wait outside. Are wclear? That was Mrs. Dyson. We never saw Mr. Dyson, though. We all joked that he mustve gnawed his goddamn finger with the wedding ring right off like a coyote in a bear trap. She was the most unpleasant individual on this planet. She also
Dragonclaw 4I dreamed from home this night. My parents were standing in front of our house and were waving towards me as they had as I entered the airport three days ago. I myself was back as I was before turning into a dragon and walked forwards to them. But the distance between me and them increased with every step that I made. Even faster as I started to run. They vanished behind a wall of thick fog which I jumped into and emerged as dragon on the other side. There was no trace of my home left as I looked around only a weak spark at the horizon.Dragonclaw 43 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I woke up by a loud curse, before I could walk towards it. It revealed to be Stefan who nag about nothing in particular and was searching for his walker, which somehow was lying on the other side of the room.
"You should stop throwing things through the room while you sleep Stefan." I yawned and stretched my legs and wings, which felt a bit numb.
"Good morning by the way."
"Good! Ha. Easy for you to say . My whole body feels, as if it's on fire." Stefan
Caelum Sky - Chapter 31Caelum Sky Chapter 31Caelum Sky - Chapter 315 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"The sensible one" I said a little non-sensibly. Aisa; it was the first time I really considered what that angelic detective had mentioned, that far too regular for consequential information stared at me with a bit of wonder before shaking her head with a cockeyed smile.
"Well, this isn't my actual body, but I guess you could say that, yes." She looked around before getting up and helping me to my feet awkwardly.
"We're sisters?" I questioned, gripping her hands tightly, more in the deep depths of apathy at this point in time instead of flipping out that I'd met another one of my extended family I was associated with.
"Well, yeah. You, Nona, are the youngest, Cempe's the middle, and I'm the oldest." I clenched my hands with immense senior strength. She dropped out of the grip and took my elbow instead like a caring daughter would, help me along. Bells, explosives and firecrackers barraged my feeble mind.
"Cempe!" I almost cracked a hip
Helicase Helio and I were always sitting on the stairs, chatting about the lamina and occasionally making snide remarks about ribosomes. There wasn't much for us to do. Our job was to simply be, and let the RNA polymerase scribble down the letters on our foreheads when they came around every once in a while. Helio was a G, I was a C. It wasn't exactly fulfilling, I suppose. There wasn't much to be filled. So to pass the time, we talked.Helicase2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"You ever wonder?" Helio asked.
"About...well...what's out there." Helio and I were rooted to the stairs, quite happily, but it was awkward to move in. He kind of twisted in the general direction of the closest pore. "Out in the cytoplasm."
"I haven't," I admitted. "What's there to wonder about?"
"That's exactly the thing. I have no idea." Helio sighed, gazing into the distance. "Somehow it feels like we pl