Facts About Garrus VakarianMy personal favourites are Penis Related....Just sharing, they're funny to me.
Anyway, please enjoy.
*C-Sec labels anyone attacking Garrus Vakarian as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
*Garrus Vakarian just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Omega's infrastructure.
*Garrus Vakarian doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
*Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1GVHs (Garrus Vakarian Headshot)
*Garrus Vakarian does not sleep. He waits.
*Garrus Vakarian counted to infinity - twice.
*If you can see Garrus Vakarian, he can see you. If you can't see Garrus Vakarian you may be only seconds away from death.
*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Garrus Vakarian.
*In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Garrus Vakarian, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
*Garrus Vakarian is c
The Beginning of All His Problems "Loving someone isn't wrong, Garrus. Whether you think it's right or wrong is irrelevant. If you feel it, you feel it. Don't try to calibrate your way out of it. Let yourself have something good, something you really want, for once. Okay?" Solana's voice floated through his ears softly, the way their mother's always had.The Beginning of All His Problems3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Okay," he answered, his undertones giving away his annoyance.
"Garrus Vakarian! You're not listening to me!" she shrieked, shouting his name just like their mother did when he took apart something he shouldn't have.
"Spirits, Sol, yes I am! I heard you. The first six times, and I'm going to hear you the seventh, too. I get it! Now stop--"
"Who you talking to, Vakarian?" Shepard asked, leaning over his shoulder, trying to get a peek at the console.
"Oh, is that...looks like I gotta go, Garrus. Talk to you soon. Love you, Garbear. Bye."
Suddenly the screen went blank except for a general Other user has logged off message.
Garrus rolled hi
Baby Makes ThreeBaby Makes Three3 years ago in Romance More Like This
((Mass Effect. Garrus/FemShep))
(Shepard has been dealing with a baby Turian on the Normandy for a while. Garrus makes her think about why she's keeping him there.))
Commander Shepard was used to long days. As she rubbed the back of her neck on her way toward the elevator she reflected that people seemed to think she was invulnerable. When you were the savior of the galaxy several times over, people tended to forget that you needed little things like food and rest. It was as if they expected you to be able to live on heroism alone.
At least she finally had some time to herself. After chasing a group of slavers down, coming back to find the Alliance brass was waiting to speak to her over the comm, and arguing with them for another hour, she was able to end her shift. She was going to go back to her cabin, finally get a hot shower, then fall into bed.
However, when she finally reached the elevator, Traynor
Garrus VS Valentines DayMass EffectGarrus VS Valentines Day2 years ago in Romance More Like This
In which Garrus listens to Joker and tries to find the perfect Valentine's Day present for Shepard.
It was one of the stranger sights Garrus Vakarian had seen on the Citadel. Odd enough to make him stop in place and wonder if he should be in amazed, confused, or slightly intimidated. Probably all three at once, he decided at last.
He had never seen so much pink in his life. Well, pink mixed with plenty of reds, whites, and the occasional smattering of purple. This was the third human shop he had seen with those decorations (although this was the gaudiest one to date),and if the crowds around it were any indication, he was going to have to admit that maybe Joker had actually been serious when he insisted that Valentines Day was one of the most important of human holidays.
When the pilot had first mentioned Valentines Day to him, Garrus had been more than a little skeptical. It sounds exactly like the kind of joke the man would
The Friend Zone"So then he says, 'Oh, it's okay. Our amino acids are all different, so it's not like we can get diseases or anything if we go natural'."The Friend Zone3 years ago in Romance More Like This
"I'm telling you, this is why you shouldn't date humans."
"So then I had to explain about cross-species fluid contact. Completely killed the mood."
"Not to mention that you're a quarian. How could he be so insensitive? You deserve somebody who's going to respect you. Somebody who's going to treat you right."
"Oh, I think I'm just going to stop dating for a while."
"No! Don't do that. Don't let some human spoil you."
"It's always the same thing. 'Ooh, she could get sick. Ooh, she's vulnerable. I wonder what she looks like under the helmet'."
"You'll find someone out there who cares about you for who you are. Someone whose food you can eat, even. If you're hurting for something to do, maybe after work we could catch a vid or something?"
"Oh, that's sweet, but a little dry spell isn't going to kill me."
"We could watch 'Fleet and Flotilla', it got award
The EntryThe Entry3 years ago in Romance More Like This
Title: The Entry
Game: Mass Effect 3
Disclaimer: Owned by Bioware
So, this is an unusual departure for me. I am on my third run of ME3 and I was staring at my FemShep who is romancing Garrus and I finally figured something out about her. I don't know why I figured this out about her but I did at like 9 morning it wasn't intentional but I just looked at her, the way I played the game, and I came up with why she acts this way in my head. I'm not trying to be ground breaking or a revolutionary with this. Hell I'm probably taking a great risk posting this the way it is. And this is why Bioware is so awesome because they gave us something that could inspire this, though the thought on closure is rather uh...yeah. This is my MAIN FemShep and I have 4 more FemSheps and six MSheps. Each one unique and varied but for her I just realized this is why she fights, is a kind soul, and does what she does the way she does it and I just wanted to
ME: Nail CareME: Nail Care3 years ago in Romance More Like This
On her first night together with Garrus, Shepard had been mildly concerned about the talons that she knew turians possessed. She trusted Garrus with all of her heart and knew that he never intentionally harm her, but there was that instinctual distrust of sharp claws near her softer human flesh. Of course she had been thinking of entirely different things by the time that evening reached the stage where his gloves came off, and then she didn't' have the luxury to think about minor details until after they had blow the Collector base to bits.
Being under house arrest had given her more than enough time to think, and Garrus was one of the happy memories she had she to stave on the crushing boredom. One of the questions those memories brought up was if turian anatomy charts and Alliance descriptions of turian talons as 'vicious natural weapons' were overly exaggerated or if Garrus had blunted his just for her.
Escaping the Friend Zone"Okay, this is getting ridiculous!" Shepard exclaimed, shaking her head. "I'm half tempted to just go over there and tell her myself." She said and Garrus shook his head.Escaping the Friend Zone3 years ago in Romance More Like This
"I can't take you anywhere, can I?" He asked and she sighed, folding her arms.
"Oh, come on. You can't tell me you're not thinking the exact same thing." She said but he shook his head.
"No, I'm not. Unlike you I am happy to leave well enough alone." He said, causing her to huff a little.
"But are you really, Garrus? Are you really okay to just leave things as they are?" She asked and he sighed.
"Not okay but... She's a quarian and he's a turian. It could never work properly. They're too... different. That's why she turned him down for the human guy and why she keeps friendzoning him." He said and Shepard frowned at the familiarity of the words before she remembered that she had been the one to first say them.
"Kaidan, I don't see why this is such a big deal." She sighed, folding her arms. She didn't even re
ME: SurpriseShepard was not surprised to find Garrus away from the control console in the main battery when she walked in. It had been a bit of a shock at first, but she was glad he had figured out that he didn't need to be calibrating that damn gun all the time. The only downside was having to hunt all over the ship for him when she wanted his company, although he had taken a liking to the lounge area, making that her usual first stop when looking for him.ME: Surprise3 years ago in Romance More Like This
This time, however, she quickly realized that it wouldn't be needed. A glanced showed that he was over at the workbench that he been installed on the right wall. He'd half turned to see her come in and seemed frozen now.
"Shepard." He said by way of greeting. "Hey." Shepard felt her eyes narrow slightly. Although he was trying to keep his voice level, his mandibles were twitching nervously and he had turned slightly to the side to hide whatever he was working on. "Some
Love, Blood and Tears: Chapter 1Love, Blood & TearsLove, Blood and Tears: Chapter 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
*Note: Chapter 1 and 2 are more like an extended prologue than anything. I cover a lot of ground in the first two chapters. The story slows down after that. The first two chapters basically cover little aspects that you need to know as the story progesses. Please don't let the first two chapter deter you from reading on. Thank you!
"I'm proud of you kid," said Anderson.
"Just remember you were a human before you were a Spectre, you represent all of humanity with your actions," said Udina.
"I won't let you down," said Shepard confidently.
Anderson stepping down and giving Shepard the Normandy? It didn't feel right to her. Pushing papers wasn't his thing but he wanted to give her every chance to succeed in this mission. She knew how much this meant to him and she wasn't going to let
Chimera: A Garrus/Shepard RomanceCHAPTER 1: SHORE LEAVEChimera: A Garrus/Shepard Romance3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Silence .well, not perfect silence but a familiar and comforting one nonetheless. The hum of the ship and its crew going about their daily activities was something Shepard had come to find a certain peace in. The Alliance had given her a sense of belonging and the people she met and served with gave her a sense of family. Following in her parents footsteps gave her a sense of purpose. She never expected to come as far as she had. Still, it made her sad to know that her father would never know or see what his daughter had accomplished. Standing in the cockpit with Joker looking out the window, watching the stars streak by in the vast expanse of space, she was lost in thought
"Commander? ....Joker to Shepard .Hello?"
" ..what?" she absently answered still staring out the window.
"Oh nothing, you know, just trying to fly the ship here. Waiting for your orders while the Reapers hunt our ass and Cerberus gets away the usual."
Peeved, she turn
Fruit from PalavenA Mass Effect fanficFruit from Palaven3 years ago in Romance More Like This
Characters: Garrus V. & Shepard (F)
Summary: Garrus faces the reality of serving on a human ship.
The hum of the engines hadn't bothered him before Donnelly and his crew installed the silly torque compensator (which was entirely unnecessary to begin with), into the guiding of the starboard cannon. Either there was a loose panel on the compensator, or the tech team didn't return the original panels in proper positions, and now there was a sickening resonance with one of the lower frequencies of the mass effect drive.
Garrus had demanded that the engineering crew come back and reassemble the entire thing, but Donnelly wouldn't hear of it. Literally. Garrus brought him in and instructed him what to listen to, and where to put his hand in order to feel the vibration. In the end, he even produced the frequency analysis of the entire spectrum of ac
Scars Chapter 1 *Healing old Wounds*"How do I know that Cerberus isn't controlling you!?" Kaidan asks, outraged with me for being gone for two years. Even though I couldn't help it. I was dead for two years, there's no way I could have contacted him in any way. I'm not being controlled, and I know it; and I'm about to punch Kaidan for not believing me.Scars Chapter 1 *Healing old Wounds*3 years ago in Romance More Like This
"Because, I'm not Kaidan." I say, trying to calm him down. But it obviously doesn't work they way I planned for it too.
"Listen to yourself Kaidan, your letting your rage blind you from what's right in front of you." Garrus says, trying his hardest to support me.
"It's bad enough that you're involved with Cerberus Shepard, but you dragged Garrus along too!" Kaidan says, angry about my decisions so far, clearly.
"Why can't you trust me Kaidan?" I ask sympathetically, trying to get a better answer than, 'Cerberus rebuilt me.'
"I don't know if I can trust you Shepard, I have things to do, goodbye Shepard." Kaidan walked away, breaking my he
Still in the Friend Zone"What are you trying to figure out?" Garrus asked as he saw the look of concentration on Shepard's face. He'd seen it all too often on the battlefield, but rarely when they were just talking.Still in the Friend Zone3 years ago in Romance More Like This
"How did you...?" She asked before smiling and shaking her head. "It's nothing... just wondering something..." She trailed off, returning to her drink. He followed her gaze to find that she had been looking at the turian and quarian couple who were still at the bar, just as they were.
"What?" He asked and she sighed, still smiling and shaking her head.
"Doesn't matter..." She muttered and he nudged her shoulder with his own.
"Come on." He said and she sighed.
"I was just... wondering about them again..." She admitted and Garrus raised a brow plate.
"Wasn't the point of this to get your mind off romance?" He asked and she sighed.
"I guess... I was just... Never mind." She said, shaking her head again.
"Okay, now I'm officially curious." He said and she downed her drink before continuing.
"I was jus