You're My PhobiaDriving me into darkness
Huddled in fetal position
I couldn't stop the frightened tears running down my face
That strange sense
That looming animosity I was clutched in
It has never disappeared
Even if it never truly existed
This tower over me, this shadow
The bane of everything I dream about
I can't speak, not face to face
Look in the eyes
Hear that piercing, blasting voice
I go numb
Alone and vulnerable
I feel so weak and defenseless
Just the mention of it
Curdles my blood
Treated like a friend but feeling like
I am the prey
Going cold in an instant, tense and dry
Wishing only to look at the floor
I wouldn't dare approach
Nor wish to be approached
It's like meeting a black hole
And feeling the blackness of the gravity on the hairs of your skin
I can't scream, I can't cry
I can't run and hide or fight
I just have to find a shield
And pray the fire doesn't come beating down
This is a phobia
It has no particular name
But I'm sure it's not n
Lie To MeFingertips lace around my ribsLie To Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And pull at my skin
As my breath catches
At the coolness of your touch.
Calm these trembling hands
And hold them tight in yours.
I'll move my lips on yours
Just so you don't have to.
Hearts beat faster and
My breath shudders with insecurity.
Press my body close to yours
So I don't shatter into fragments.
Lie to me one more time.
Tangle your legs in mine,
Brush your lips along my neck.
Make me feel alive.
GeographyMy last year of elementary schoolGeography3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Possibly the best on record
Before I grew up
We had this assignment that was meant to present
Our knowledge of these certain terms
Mountain, plateau, key, archipelago
Peninsula, strait, and so on, et cetera
Given these small, thin sheets of paper
And the definitions of each
I set out on a snow day to pursue this project
Colored pencils and a black felt pen
Carefully drawing them
Tongue out the side of my teeth
I wanted it to be perfect
It was a four hour ordeal
I remember reappearing out of my room
And lunch had gone by long ago
But I wasn't yet finished
I couldn't find a ring to hang them on
That's what they needed was a ring
And for the life of me I had none
I searched my drawers
Found needles and paper clips and scrap ribbons
Beads, a necklace, small scissors.... A necklace
It was only a simple solution
And I hoped it would be accepted
I even decorated it with beads spelling my name
The praise was more than I had in my eleven-year-old prospect
Little GirlYou saw me,Little Girl3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Broken under the tree.
I sat alone,
Trying to be my own person.
Trying to live without a crutch.
But I guess you looked through me,
And saw the broken little girl I am.
I wish you hadn't scooped me up.
I wish you hadn't started caring for me.
I wish I hadn't cared for you.
You saw me cry.
You didn't know how much baggage I carried.
What I had,
You could never deal with.
The baggage I carry,
Needs someone to be around all the time.
I've been neglected.
Ive been lied to.
Ive been left out on the street to fend for myself.
Ive been left to fight other peoples battles.
I just want to be my own person.
I want to not hurt anymore.
If you see me sitting under that tree,
Don't come up,
And try to save me.
You would be trying to win a losing battle.
Rains of SorrowThe rain is pouringRains of Sorrow3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Pouring down sorrows
Pouring down visions
Of what will happen on the morrow
I know I cannot stop it
But at least I can try
Fling my arms wide open,
And beg mercy from the sky
O my lord Zeus!
Why must you plague me?
I played your games, stepped in your traps
I gambled dice with the tendrils of Destiny
What do I get,
For a half-broken wish?
Sorrow upon sorrow
Despair and anguish
Rain, rain, please go away
If you must, come back another day
Come when I am happy and bright,
Come when I have truly found sight
Go trouble the old man,
Sleeping on his porch
Don't harass me
Holder of Fate's torch
Lest it blow out,
Lest the flames die,
I can do nothing
But sit down and cry
Cry for the future, cry for the past
But however bad they are, the present is worse
The present's not a gift
The present is a curse
Graveyard of my dreams,
Dreams that never came true
Dreams of me walking
Slowly towards you
But then you pass by,
Without sparing a glance
This is destiny
Not the child of chan
Where I'm FromWhere I'm FromWhere I'm From3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am from piggyback rides
And the fluffy stuffed animals that covered my bedroom floor.
I am from the messy sandcastles and slippery slides at Mason Park, Where I jumped from rock to rock.
I'm from that distasteful lake odor,
Where I tossed small pieces of bread into the water for the birds to eat.
I'm from the young, soft tabby cat
That once sat in my warm lap.
I am from the artistic hands,
That were passed down to me from my Great Grandpa Frank.
I'm from the completed books that I tossed in my opposite direction.
I am from the woody, aging trees
Whose branches I used to hang on.
I'm from the screaming,
The horrifying threats that awaited me at home
From my intimidating mother.
I am from the green Toyota,
That was sold for money to pay the bills.
I'm from covering my ears,
From closing my eyes,
Wishing this was all a dream.
I am from those moments
All the cherished memories fading away
Blown away in the fall wind.
Run AwayThere have been so many times,Run Away3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have just wanted life to stop.
For me to run away form this life.
You treat me like garbage,
And I don't know how to handle you anymore.
I want out.
If I died young,
Life for you would be the same.
If I died young,
You wouldn't mourn my passing.
If I died young,
You would keep living your life the way it is.
If I died young,
You wouldn't care.
I feel bad for you,
That you're like this.
One of the few people that care about you,
You push away,
And could care less.
So if I died young,
You wouldn't notice.
NoNo, I am not okayNo3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No, I will not be okay
Nothing you can say
Will make this pain go away
No, I am not fine
No, I will not be fine
Maybe this is all just a sign
That for him I should not pine
No, I am not all right
No, I will not be all right
I cannot sleep at night
For my regrets are in my mind's sight
Yes, this will take time
Yes, lots of time
All I want is one last stime
To convince myself he's not slime
Reaching Out.I'm reaching out with my handsReaching Out.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Expecting you my love to embrace me,
But when I close my hand and see that you
Have not yet grasped on,
With every time I open my hand
To this painful empty feeling,
It tears this hole in my heart open
Letting it fill in with sadness,
And letting it become deeper.
So I let my nails grow out
Not expecting for anyone to latch on,
Continuing to grasp this desolate air
I find my self falling down in despair,
But then I see you reaching out
To grab my lonely hand out from the dark,
But alas I cut you,
I lost the sense of caring,
My nails and my heart,
Have become too sharp for this hand to hold on.
BuskerThe frost on his teeth makes him jump through his shoesBusker3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He couldn't get much honor from crying the blues
Dimes on the pavement patched up with gum
Steam rises from the neighboring slum
Come one, come all to my solo parade
Put on your gloves and bonnets and shades
With a curl of my mustache I'll blow you away
For one simple moment that lasts the whole day
I promise you fire, I promise you tricks
I'll give you desire, perform the splits
I show what you want, you want what you see
It's a trifle of time, but a life to me
I'll bang my drum and light candlesticks
Burn Earth to the ground and resurrect it
Grow bushels of roses and give them to Daisy
And I'm just so smooth, I make it look easy
I own half the world with the change in my hat
Some say I'm a fox, some say I'm a cat
But the romance and mystery remains in my hand
Till my hourglass figure runs out of sand
He blows through his hands yet they keep turning gray
His lips chapped to bits so he cannot play
The ringing of coins make a din i
scar-crossed(my fingers are colder than the solemn bluescar-crossed3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
buried in her eyes. so much dead beauty,
like an ocean without waves).
she is fading and i cling to her,
and in this tiny little moment
we barely even exist.
I Miss YouI miss youI Miss You3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
With every breath, I miss you
And I'll always remember
What you never will
And though I may never laugh with you
Or even see you again
I miss you
Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That we're all just okay?
Can't we just pretend?
That we don't all just fake it?
Can't we act?
Like actresses on stage?
Or like this is all a dream?
And soon we'll wake up and it'll be okay?
Do we really have to talk about the bad?
I want to see the good...
Or just imagine it
I need a brand new world
A fresh start
Can't we just pretend?
That life never happened?
Can't we just pretend?
That this isn't the end
Still Fighting Back TearsA ball forms in my throatStill Fighting Back Tears3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And tears begin to form
So I begin to push them back
I mustn't let them show
I mustn't show you my pain
How much I'm suffering
For I feel that if I do-
It would show that I've given up
That after so long, I've given in
And I will not let that happen
Grin and Bear ItSkeleton handsGrin and Bear It3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Reach out of empty air
To silence me,
To hold me back.
Whisper through yellowed teeth,
It isn't worth it.
And I put on
My falsest smile,
Allowing boney fingers
To twist my arm,
Is it not worth it?
Or, am I too cowardly
To fight the phantoms off?
How Dare You?How Dare you suck out the strength in my limbs?How Dare You?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How Dare you distract me in lectures with a look,
A flicker of interest?
How Dare you smile knowingly at me, as broadly
As the ocean?
How Dare you know I'd do anything for you?
How Dare you wring my heart in my chest ruthlessly,
And make my cheeks burn?
How Dare you call my name, your tongue tethering to it
As if it were your own?
How Dare you?
How Dare you entice my ears with your jokes, your laugh? "You get to hear my
Droning voce," you say as you glance my way.
How Dare you twist my emotions into a salad of anxiety
How Dare you holster down that which is savage
How Dare you?
I don't need you.
Your voice rings mute in my ears.
I am not hypnotized by your cerulean gaze.
I am my own creature,
I do not yearn for your consent,
I am my own creature,
I don't desire your praise.
So, How Dare you?
How Dare you invade my mind, coiling
In every dream, every thought?
How dare you spur my lungs into failure,
Black RoseShe stumbles upon a black rose.Black Rose3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The beauty captives her,
She gentle picks it up
And accidently pricks her finger on the thorn.
One blood drop falls onto the forest floor.
The ground begins to rumble and quake.
A distance from her she sees a door opening,
From the mound of grass hill.
Light comes out from behind this secret door.
She hears some distant music and voices come from behind the door.
As if she is in trance,
She heads towards the door.
When she reaches the cold metal doorknob
And opens it up,
She seems to be blinded by the light.
Just as she steps into the light
A gust of wind pushes her fully in.
Making her suddenly fall,
While she falls she notices the walls
Are covered with black roses.
Then she wakes on this glass floor
Looking ahead and getting up.
She sees that the tunnel doesn't seem to stop.
What is this place?
Where is she?
This place that feels and seems like her home.
Suddenly a black beautiful wolf is staring at her.
From out of a door just a few feet away,
Two Cents and Mirror ShardsShe wears her worth around her neckTwo Cents and Mirror Shards3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the form of
From ninety-three years ago
And rusty locks,
Strung on an iron chain,
Along with broken
Keys that go to
She knows of
She finds them, on
Street corners and in forgotten,
Treating them like
And long-lost friends;
She hangs them near her core
To try and remember
Where all the pieces go,
Where they all come from.
Maybe one day.
Is made of a shattered mirror
In the hopes of
Being able to see
Something that isn't on the outside.
She is not sure
Exactly what that is
None of her parts match;
She constructs herself
Out of odds and ends
That others have thrown away.
She is cracked,
She would not know
How to fix herself
If she was whole.
She strings up
Old bottle caps and
Passages from decaying books
While she tries to fasten together
Shards of glass
That leave empty spaces
She loves them
How else is light
Supposed to shine through
Without a few ho
Meth and CokeNow I lay me down to deathMeth and Coke9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Drown myself in coke and meth
Hope I die before the dawn
Fleeing sorrows undergone
But if I live
Then there's hope
For one more night
Of meth and coke
in the distance, fadingi never said my goodbyes,in the distance, fading3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
one rainy night
out of my window,
rain puddles, pine trees
the night slowly froze everything,
ice humming its way
into my lungs,
skies breathing snow.
when you wake up tomorrow
frost will cover the tree branches
and i will be gone.
The Caged Bird's LullabySit and stay a spell,The Caged Bird's Lullaby3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Before life takes you
I am going to write a love story
Across your lungs
So you can exhale
When you can't
Find the words.
Sing to me
Tragic little song.
The one about how
She broke your name
And took your bones.
I will find each fragmented piece
And clean out
All the maggots.
Your windows are broken,
Cracked and tear-streaked.
Allow me to mend you;
Is far more beautiful
That just a pair of
And we will dance
In the freezing rain.
We can help each other
Wash off all the poisons
To the backs of our minds
And the insides
Of our mouths.
Flying in circles.
I will take you past
The farthest horizons,
Where no cages will
Keep you again.
32. GoodbyeI am not available32. Goodbye3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't take your call
The phones broken
Smashed against the wall
The lines been cut
I couldn't pay the bill
I can't dial your number
The ring is too shrill
The buttons are all gone
I can't see straight
The cords tangled up
I picked it up too late
I can't talk to you
I have a bad connection
Your breaking up
Go in a different direction
I guess this is farewell
I guess this is goodbye
The cell towers have been knocked down
And my cells about to die
AbominableFrom these humble Himalayas I call home,Abominable3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
An ice man cometh.
Big, bearded, and anything but jolly.
He barks like a yeti
Spitting frost on his cub.
Two decades later,
My heart is churning, pumping Slushee
Vampires line up with collectable cups
And spoons that are also straws.
Veins so cold I'm bleeding blizzards
Coughing up echoes,
Staring daggers with ice sickle eyes.
Our history is crystalline,
It gains strength through repetition.
Our history is crystalline.
Pirate RadioI found your number on the bathroom stall.Pirate Radio3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It said you might have answers.
Please call me back if you get this message.
I got your address from a box of Captain Crunch.
It said to write a letter for a prize surprise.
I could really use one about now.
I heard your name on pirate radio,
In a very intellectual sounding conversation.
I saw your face on a stranger's back.
He got the tattoo when he was in the service.
He was getting it removed when we met.
He told me he lost the faith.
He told me crosses are instruments of torture.
He told me he used to burn them in his neighbors' front lawns.
I felt your fire in the constellations,
But outer space is just so cold.
I heard your voice in a game of charades,
And that was the last straw.
The camel's back was as broken as I was.
I sailed the seas in search of silence.
I found lost time out in the desert.
We posed together for a mugshot,
So I was denied entry into the oasis.
The sentries said,
"Son, you'll have to save yourself"