You're My PhobiaDriving me into darkness
Huddled in fetal position
I couldn't stop the frightened tears running down my face
That strange sense
That looming animosity I was clutched in
It has never disappeared
Even if it never truly existed
This tower over me, this shadow
The bane of everything I dream about
I can't speak, not face to face
Look in the eyes
Hear that piercing, blasting voice
I go numb
Alone and vulnerable
I feel so weak and defenseless
Just the mention of it
Curdles my blood
Treated like a friend but feeling like
I am the prey
Going cold in an instant, tense and dry
Wishing only to look at the floor
I wouldn't dare approach
Nor wish to be approached
It's like meeting a black hole
And feeling the blackness of the gravity on the hairs of your skin
I can't scream, I can't cry
I can't run and hide or fight
I just have to find a shield
And pray the fire doesn't come beating down
This is a phobia
It has no particular name
But I'm sure it's not n
GeographyMy last year of elementary schoolGeography1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Possibly the best on record
Before I grew up
We had this assignment that was meant to present
Our knowledge of these certain terms
Mountain, plateau, key, archipelago
Peninsula, strait, and so on, et cetera
Given these small, thin sheets of paper
And the definitions of each
I set out on a snow day to pursue this project
Colored pencils and a black felt pen
Carefully drawing them
Tongue out the side of my teeth
I wanted it to be perfect
It was a four hour ordeal
I remember reappearing out of my room
And lunch had gone by long ago
But I wasn't yet finished
I couldn't find a ring to hang them on
That's what they needed was a ring
And for the life of me I had none
I searched my drawers
Found needles and paper clips and scrap ribbons
Beads, a necklace, small scissors.... A necklace
It was only a simple solution
And I hoped it would be accepted
I even decorated it with beads spelling my name
The praise was more than I had in my eleven-year-old prospect
Lie To MeFingertips lace around my ribsLie To Me1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
And pull at my skin
As my breath catches
At the coolness of your touch.
Calm these trembling hands
And hold them tight in yours.
I'll move my lips on yours
Just so you don't have to.
Hearts beat faster and
My breath shudders with insecurity.
Press my body close to yours
So I don't shatter into fragments.
Lie to me one more time.
Tangle your legs in mine,
Brush your lips along my neck.
Make me feel alive.
Where I'm FromWhere I'm FromWhere I'm From1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I am from piggyback rides
And the fluffy stuffed animals that covered my bedroom floor.
I am from the messy sandcastles and slippery slides at Mason Park, Where I jumped from rock to rock.
I'm from that distasteful lake odor,
Where I tossed small pieces of bread into the water for the birds to eat.
I'm from the young, soft tabby cat
That once sat in my warm lap.
I am from the artistic hands,
That were passed down to me from my Great Grandpa Frank.
I'm from the completed books that I tossed in my opposite direction.
I am from the woody, aging trees
Whose branches I used to hang on.
I'm from the screaming,
The horrifying threats that awaited me at home
From my intimidating mother.
I am from the green Toyota,
That was sold for money to pay the bills.
I'm from covering my ears,
From closing my eyes,
Wishing this was all a dream.
I am from those moments
All the cherished memories fading away
Blown away in the fall wind.
Little GirlYou saw me,Little Girl2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Broken under the tree.
I sat alone,
Trying to be my own person.
Trying to live without a crutch.
But I guess you looked through me,
And saw the broken little girl I am.
I wish you hadn't scooped me up.
I wish you hadn't started caring for me.
I wish I hadn't cared for you.
You saw me cry.
You didn't know how much baggage I carried.
What I had,
You could never deal with.
The baggage I carry,
Needs someone to be around all the time.
I've been neglected.
Ive been lied to.
Ive been left out on the street to fend for myself.
Ive been left to fight other peoples battles.
I just want to be my own person.
I want to not hurt anymore.
If you see me sitting under that tree,
Don't come up,
And try to save me.
You would be trying to win a losing battle.
Reaching Out.I'm reaching out with my handsReaching Out.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Expecting you my love to embrace me,
But when I close my hand and see that you
Have not yet grasped on,
With every time I open my hand
To this painful empty feeling,
It tears this hole in my heart open
Letting it fill in with sadness,
And letting it become deeper.
So I let my nails grow out
Not expecting for anyone to latch on,
Continuing to grasp this desolate air
I find my self falling down in despair,
But then I see you reaching out
To grab my lonely hand out from the dark,
But alas I cut you,
I lost the sense of caring,
My nails and my heart,
Have become too sharp for this hand to hold on.
Run AwayThere have been so many times,Run Away1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have just wanted life to stop.
For me to run away form this life.
You treat me like garbage,
And I don't know how to handle you anymore.
I want out.
If I died young,
Life for you would be the same.
If I died young,
You wouldn't mourn my passing.
If I died young,
You would keep living your life the way it is.
If I died young,
You wouldn't care.
I feel bad for you,
That you're like this.
One of the few people that care about you,
You push away,
And could care less.
So if I died young,
You wouldn't notice.
The Caged Bird's LullabySit and stay a spell,The Caged Bird's Lullaby1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Before life takes you
I am going to write a love story
Across your lungs
So you can exhale
When you can't
Find the words.
Sing to me
Tragic little song.
The one about how
She broke your name
And took your bones.
I will find each fragmented piece
And clean out
All the maggots.
Your windows are broken,
Cracked and tear-streaked.
Allow me to mend you;
Is far more beautiful
That just a pair of
And we will dance
In the freezing rain.
We can help each other
Wash off all the poisons
To the backs of our minds
And the insides
Of our mouths.
Flying in circles.
I will take you past
The farthest horizons,
Where no cages will
Keep you again.
NoNo, I am not okayNo1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
No, I will not be okay
Nothing you can say
Will make this pain go away
No, I am not fine
No, I will not be fine
Maybe this is all just a sign
That for him I should not pine
No, I am not all right
No, I will not be all right
I cannot sleep at night
For my regrets are in my mind's sight
Yes, this will take time
Yes, lots of time
All I want is one last stime
To convince myself he's not slime
AbominableFrom these humble Himalayas I call home,Abominable1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
An ice man cometh.
Big, bearded, and anything but jolly.
He barks like a yeti
Spitting frost on his cub.
Two decades later,
My heart is churning, pumping Slushee
Vampires line up with collectable cups
And spoons that are also straws.
Veins so cold I'm bleeding blizzards
Coughing up echoes,
Staring daggers with ice sickle eyes.
Our history is crystalline,
It gains strength through repetition.
Our history is crystalline.
scar-crossed(my fingers are colder than the solemn bluescar-crossed1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
buried in her eyes. so much dead beauty,
like an ocean without waves).
she is fading and i cling to her,
and in this tiny little moment
we barely even exist.
Sanctification of the SodomiteA galloping halo in my headSanctification of the Sodomite1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Hums hymns against hybrid sins
Odd formations on my skin like maps
Leading me astray through sweat sodden paths
Navigated by flesh
A canonical thirst for hands
On hips, they swing open like holy books
A pendulum to cut me in half
Overflowing the brim
CasanovaCasanova1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the old town of Venice
The sin was born
One man, in the moonlight,
Took a woman's soul
She got doomed
But it seemed fair
That one night with him
With nothing left to tear
Centuries have passed
Even the rain turned cold
The sin lived
In the other men's blood
He looked at me and said
"Be the flame not the moth"
He was hypnotizing,
But he's Casanova, he can't love.
He likes numbers
And I was 24
I gave my body to his arms
I used to cry back then, but not anymore
That one night,
I remember it well
The stars came down
With no words to tell
Because we were one
Under the endless sky
The morning you left
Every part of me died.
You think you're in love
You have to grow up"
And yesterday I saw him,
I guess he hurt the one he loved,
His look wasn't hypnotizing
Maybe, he got a broken heart
You have to become a man
To treat a girl right
This life, you know,
Is one big fight
But still, I'd come back
I'd give myself to you
Only if you said
You love me too...
Rains of SorrowThe rain is pouringRains of Sorrow1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Pouring down sorrows
Pouring down visions
Of what will happen on the morrow
I know I cannot stop it
But at least I can try
Fling my arms wide open,
And beg mercy from the sky
O my lord Zeus!
Why must you plague me?
I played your games, stepped in your traps
I gambled dice with the tendrils of Destiny
What do I get,
For a half-broken wish?
Sorrow upon sorrow
Despair and anguish
Rain, rain, please go away
If you must, come back another day
Come when I am happy and bright,
Come when I have truly found sight
Go trouble the old man,
Sleeping on his porch
Don't harass me
Holder of Fate's torch
Lest it blow out,
Lest the flames die,
I can do nothing
But sit down and cry
Cry for the future, cry for the past
But however bad they are, the present is worse
The present's not a gift
The present is a curse
Graveyard of my dreams,
Dreams that never came true
Dreams of me walking
Slowly towards you
But then you pass by,
Without sparing a glance
This is destiny
Not the child of chan
Meth and CokeNow I lay me down to deathMeth and Coke7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Drown myself in coke and meth
Hope I die before the dawn
Fleeing sorrows undergone
But if I live
Then there's hope
For one more night
Of meth and coke
BuskerThe frost on his teeth makes him jump through his shoesBusker2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He couldn't get much honor from crying the blues
Dimes on the pavement patched up with gum
Steam rises from the neighboring slum
Come one, come all to my solo parade
Put on your gloves and bonnets and shades
With a curl of my mustache I'll blow you away
For one simple moment that lasts the whole day
I promise you fire, I promise you tricks
I'll give you desire, perform the splits
I show what you want, you want what you see
It's a trifle of time, but a life to me
I'll bang my drum and light candlesticks
Burn Earth to the ground and resurrect it
Grow bushels of roses and give them to Daisy
And I'm just so smooth, I make it look easy
I own half the world with the change in my hat
Some say I'm a fox, some say I'm a cat
But the romance and mystery remains in my hand
Till my hourglass figure runs out of sand
He blows through his hands yet they keep turning gray
His lips chapped to bits so he cannot play
The ringing of coins make a din i
Nothing like the First LoveThere's nothing like the first loveNothing like the First Love2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And those early signs of bliss
Where heartache's still unheard of
And all you lust for is a kiss
When we're still so innocent and pure
Think with love, this world, we cure
But we're just so immature
Gave our hearts away without really being sure
There is nothing like the first love
No one could ever take their place
We may come across pure beauty
Only to find perfection in their face
And the thickness of their lips
Combine to form a perfect smile
Leave our hair standing on its tips
Nothing like the first love
Even if one day we grow apart
We will always keep the memories
And a special place for them inside our hearts
Rose.Rose.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
All of a sudden I get these flashbacks
From the first time I ever laid my eyes on you,
I remember the smell in the air,
Not even knowing what would happen soon
I knew you would be one in my life; so rare.
Your hair flowed like a chocolate sea
Looking over and glancing at me,
Smiling and waving
As I blush and hide
You had no idea
You stayed in my mind.
I was too shy
To come at all close to you,
I would try to say hi
But no matter how hard I tried
I would always be
The quiet shy guy.
But one day it happened to me
You came and sat in the very next seat,
That was the day I truly knew
True friends were made
I always knew it was you.
Over time the friendship grew
It was nothing that I ever knew,
I started to feel
As if it weren't real
An imagination that I could possibly feel.
I started to love what would not love me
Looking back that's what I see,
A gift a rose a smile to be
It was hard for me.
I was starting to express my love,
Slowly but surely we began to hug,
I thought you s
Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That we're all just okay?
Can't we just pretend?
That we don't all just fake it?
Can't we act?
Like actresses on stage?
Or like this is all a dream?
And soon we'll wake up and it'll be okay?
Do we really have to talk about the bad?
I want to see the good...
Or just imagine it
I need a brand new world
A fresh start
Can't we just pretend?
That life never happened?
Can't we just pretend?
That this isn't the end
The Appeal of PetulanceMy little love, we're all alone now.The Appeal of Petulance8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Houses are empty,
Excuses have been thrown around.
Candles have melted,
Waxen castles let to weeds.
Tuck in the sheets,
We'll whisper until the world recedes.
I hope you remember,
Even when they say we're wrong.
I'm still watching,
You can't believe I've gone.
Many years from now.
Dust has settled upon my nose.
I'll be playing games,
I create my repose.
Not as pretty as they should be,
Paper marionettes about my window glass.
Flowing cursive for eyes,
But only hearts of brass.
My heart palpitates.
I feel fragile from your wince
I lie with the warmth and twisted blankets,
Which haven't been quite as soothing since.
Another year has passed,
Seem overly vast.
You're too old now.
Yet I'm still playing pretend.
An immature soldier,
On his last blood-spattered friend.
I think it is time you recalled.
Why you smiled,
Never in askance,
As a child.
Though you never told,
You were kept li
Pirate RadioI found your number on the bathroom stall.Pirate Radio2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It said you might have answers.
Please call me back if you get this message.
I got your address from a box of Captain Crunch.
It said to write a letter for a prize surprise.
I could really use one about now.
I heard your name on pirate radio,
In a very intellectual sounding conversation.
I saw your face on a stranger's back.
He got the tattoo when he was in the service.
He was getting it removed when we met.
He told me he lost the faith.
He told me crosses are instruments of torture.
He told me he used to burn them in his neighbors' front lawns.
I felt your fire in the constellations,
But outer space is just so cold.
I heard your voice in a game of charades,
And that was the last straw.
The camel's back was as broken as I was.
I sailed the seas in search of silence.
I found lost time out in the desert.
We posed together for a mugshot,
So I was denied entry into the oasis.
The sentries said,
"Son, you'll have to save yourself"
Is this Really You?Your happinessIs this Really You?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is due to my sadness
Seeing me sad
Makes you glad
Your heart is so cold
And you only know how
To act bold,
That is how the story will be told.
Still Fighting Back TearsA ball forms in my throatStill Fighting Back Tears1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
And tears begin to form
So I begin to push them back
I mustn't let them show
I mustn't show you my pain
How much I'm suffering
For I feel that if I do-
It would show that I've given up
That after so long, I've given in
And I will not let that happen
SnowSnowSnow1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
In a being as white as snow,
Purity and softness in one single glance.
Devoured by a burning desire,
This single feeling you seek to know.
Under your finger tips,
The feeling of velvet flesh,
Imprinting in your memory.
This short story you'll feed on,
Over and over again,
Until, at last,
Pushed in a corridor of flaming extrasy
Entangled minds, one common vision
That will always remain,
Untouched and perfect.
And you will open your eyes,
and abandon yourself
For I offer you what you have been longing for.
Only you will understand my vows,
For we share one mind,
One similiar path,
Tainted by moments of darkness,
But in the end,
I cherish the thought of a path you'll guide me through,
A path as white as snow