Catch me if you canI’m the anorexic at the local gym whom everybody watches but nobody looks at.
I’m the bulimic at school whom everybody pretends not to know about.
I’m the girl in your gym class with too many scars to be telling the truth.
I’m the kid with her head down in the library who is always “fine.”
I’m the boy who 'fell down the stairs'...again.
I’m the child who doesn't show up for school lunch because it's too expensive.
I’m the teenager living a double life in front of your very eyes.
Catch me if you can.
Safeshe tells me that they stole her wordsSafe2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
marked them in red and wrung them out dry
leaving her shockingly [bare]
so she took up her -sharpest- pen
and she c a r v e d out her words
[close to her heart they'll be safe]
Mimicrymildewed [ghosts]Mimicry2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
haunt the c.r.a.c.k.s in the w do not
l their voices
InvocationSpeak through me, Muse, and sing me the taleInvocation3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of that girl unskilled in the ways of the world--
The intrepid wanderer,
Seeking truth for years on end,
Oblivious to the dynamics around her
As others talk with their eyes and dance with their words.
Many the nights she's lain awake,
Living the hurts of her friends, powerless to help.
Trying to save the world
When she can't even save herself.
She wrote dark storms of words
And ascertained the deceptive nature of journals.
She lied to others and she lied to herself.
She learned that sharp words leave scars,
Struggling each day to open her eyes
And walk toward the light;
Yet despite her best intentions, sometimes she strayed:
But hands were there to guide her back to the path,
And hearts were there to share her pain.
Growing and changing and coming to see
That she didn't have to understand humanity to be human--
She doesn't have to earn love to be loved,
And angels can hide in the oddest of places.
Of these trials and tribulatio
Losing steamI am fifteenLosing steam3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but my body and
are not mine.
I have scars on my arms
and memories of dark beauty--
bitter beads of blood
slide the knife
unzip my skin
and step outside--
who would I be
and how would I look?
perhaps I'm hollow?
underneath all this--
I'm not actually real?
maybe I was never here
just a dream
or was it a nightmare?
everybody wants me to
act my age
but I'm fifteen
so God only knows what that means.
not a child
not so innocent
not an adult
still too young.
I have to learn to talk to adults
and make phone calls to strangers
and manage my money
and drive a car.
I have to take care of the twins
teach them and protect them
and still be their friend.
I have to grow up soon
but i don't know if I'm ready...
Flickeryou've fireflies for eyes [[all lies]]Flicker2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
BipolarYour gentle gaze like razor bladesBipolar3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Both cut me to the core
The shadows hide the lines you've crossed
Yet still I'm craving more
You're never who you seem to be
I don't know who you are
One moment you're the one I know
The next so very far
This dream in which we used to live
Uncertain now and bleak
Breathtaking as the cloudbreak is
Still havoc storms do wreak
My wild nightmare never ends
I cannot seem to wake
I'm desperate to find escape
Before I finally break
It's not you it's me I say
As hollow as it rings
No longer can I weather this
High time to test my wings
The words fall like an icy rain
Chilling, sharp, but true
Yet though I try to end it here
I'm still falling for you
Only My ImaginationI can see you, your short brown hairOnly My Imagination2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your big brown eyes
your smile that always gives me butterflies.
I can taste you, savory on my lips
tangy in my mouth
sweet on my tongue.
I can hear you, your calm breathing next to my ear
your steady heartbeat against my chest
your soothing voice.
I can feel you, warm against my skin
cool to the touch
burning with our joint passion.
I can smell you, your cool masculine musk
your fresh clean skin hair
your strong spiced deodorant
FadingLosing hope in everything,Fading2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't care what the future brings.
We're all gonna die anyways,
Why not tomorrow, why not today?
Tell me the reason, my purpose in life,
Tell me, why not suicide?
Give me reasons why I should live,
If I took my life, could you forgive?
I'm sorry, I know you thought I was stronger,
But I told you I can't take it any longer.
You told me these things, I told you I'm not,
I tried, I fought, again I lost.
This battle with myself, I've had enough,
Endured so much, depression's tough.
Battling addiction of self-harm too,
You have no idea what I've gone through.
I wanted to tell you.. So many times I'd tried.
"How are you?" "I'm fine," I lied.
When I tried to speak, the right words wouldn't come out,
'Cause for so many years, I filled my mind with doubt.
I was constantly bringing myself down,
Never really felt like I was wanted around.
When the time is right, my life I'll take.
That'll be the last time I break.
Lucidall this time she's seemed so nearLucid2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
her angel face you hold so dear
she'll find you in that darkest time
her eyes will speak sans reason, rhyme
in time you will remember things
of birds and bones and broken wings
of deadly secrets, shattered dreams
things left unsaid and silent screams
with open heart and open mind
stand in the rain and you will find
that healing lies in these things true
and to remember changes you
What Was the Point?I should feel happyWhat Was the Point?2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I made it through
I should feel like
I'm starting anew
But for some reason
What it is, I know not
I don't feel as excited
As I had first thought
So what was the point?
What did I gain?
I resisted the urges
But I still feel the same
Yes, I did do it
I did keep my goal
So why do I feel like
I'm still stuck in a hole?
I still feel the fear
I still feel the pain
All of these feelings
They all still remain
So what am I doing?
I'm feeling so lost
I made it a year
But at what cost?
Wake-up callwhen you're drowning in an ocean of sad thoughts,Wake-up call2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you don't trip out onto the beach:
sooner or later, the waves will sweep you off your feet
and you will be unprepared
when the waters close over your head.
instead, you take a deep breath
and say your prayers
and you dive in.
the quickest way to learn to swim
is to have no other choice.
In the interest of full disclosurei am not the person you thinkIn the interest of full disclosure2 years ago in Letters More Like This
and you will realize that all too soon.
i am not what people have built me up to be
and i am destroying myself in trying to measure up.
i am not interesting.
if i were a puzzle, all of my pieces
would be careworn with age and wear
colors dull and muted--
a picture prosaically familiar;
there is nothing pretty to look at here.
i am not beautiful. i am not the kind of person
that they write about,
stories and poems that make you cry.
i am not strange enough to be special,
but i am not normal enough to fit in.
i am not fragile enough to engender support,
but i am not strong enough to help myself
let alone those who are foolish enough to rely on me.
i am not a delicate collectible
that people wish to adopt
and call my problems their own.
i am a dusty cliché
that has seen better days.
let me be clear:
i am none of these things.
i am not.
when I cutI pick up the razor blade,when I cut2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I take a deep breath.
I look down at my pail skin,
I place the razor blade on it.
I take another deep breath,
I close my eyes and then open them again.
I pull the razor blade across my flesh,
I take the blade and do the same,
on the rest of my arm.
then I'm done,
the pain is the best release I've had.
Lesson learnedShe fell first, and scraped herself up on impact.Lesson learned2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
By the time you were ready to let to and trust that she would catch you,
she was no longer there.
She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and moved the fuck on,
because she's stronger than you.
And you were left holding the pieces when you hit the ground.
december 2010i am not hungry. i am not hungry. no breakfast. no lunch. no snack. no dinner. zero zero zerodecember 20102 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. food is bad. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't.
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. must not eat. will not eat. cannot eat. do not eat.
resolution for today: i will not eat.
I am my own victimI feel it every single day.I am my own victim2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The weight on my two unsteady shoulders.
The confusion, hate and pain inside my jumbled mind.
It eats at me, day in and out.
Not matter how hard I try, it's there,
like a shadow you can't run away from.
Most people have no clue about any of it.
And the one's that do don't understand why.
I can't help it.
Every time I look in a mirror.
Every time someone insults me.
Every time I'm in pain.
I am my worst enemy.
My own curse.
Each scar stands for one more time I was insulted.
Or one more time my parent's fought.
Or one more time I was rejected by someone I loved.
One more time I fell victim
If...If all the world knew our painIf...4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we might never have suffered
If all our friends helped us through
we might never have suffered
If all our parents ever cared
Self Harm isn't Funny.It's not.Self Harm isn't Funny.3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
So why do you continue to laugh?
Is it really that funny to you?
Well, you wouldn't laugh if you'd known what me and these other people have been through.
You use silly labels such as "emo" and "psycho" to anyone who does it.
Is that really appropriate?
Let me explain something to you.
Some people self harm because of bullying.
I've been there myself.
Some people self harm because of family problems.
Some people self harm because of personal problems they may not want to share.
Self harm is caused by many things and believe me, it's one of the least funniest things to have happened in this world.
So let me ask you this:
How would you feel if someone was dragging you down everyday with harmful words?
How would you feel if you were constantly getting harassed online?
How would you feel if you received physical attacks everyday?
How would you feel if untrue rumors were going around about you?
How would you feel if your family turned against you?
How would you feel if you
CathieSalt-and-pepper hair contrasts sharply with the crisp, starched pillow;Cathie2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bone-thin arms resemble bed rails--
tears in my arms, the morphine drip in your vein.
My inner rage refutes your calm acceptance.
You ask if we are waiting for you to die: no.
We are waiting for a miracle,
we are waiting for you to heal--
We are waiting for something that will not happen.
We are stretching for something that is out of reach.
We are holding onto our obsolete hopes, the small fragments of our lives
so closely, we cannot see the bigger picture
In a paradox, God is calling you clearly,
but we can't seem to hear His voice--
only the silence ringing in our ears
as the monitor stops
your breathing ceases
your face un-creases--
and, for the first time in years,
you run Home.
YouI search for you in every crowdYou3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I long to see your face
Your presence is the cornerstone
That grounds me to this place
You're dancing through my dreams at night
My first thought when I wake
The angel on my shoulder sings
With every step I take
You know my secrets and my fears
You trust me with your own
My world falls in, I run to you
Somehow you feel like home
No safer place than with you near
I miss you when you're gone
So close we do not need to talk
Already know what's wrong
TransienceTime travel invented after death? Figures.Transience2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Disengage[in some vague fashion]Disengage2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
she was aware of the i m p e n d i n g blow
but time seemed irrelevant [at the moment]:
struck by a strange--elegance?--
as his palm descended [with all the grace
of a tree felled by lightning];
the m.e.a.s.u.r.e.d, deliberate fall,
almost majestic in its resignation--
c u l m i n a t i n g with
a CRACK of thunder and
a bolt of pain.