Frozen Obligationsyour hand on the door, you whisper
with breath reeking of buyer's remorse
"it's better this way,
you need a guy who won't make you cry
you need a guy who wants to stay"
and you believe it
goosebumps spread on your arms
from the chill of frozen eyes
and words can't make it better, but
"it never would have worked, anyway
you need more than I could ever give.
you deserve better than me."
and you don't acknowledge your broken logic.
(because once, you would've given the world.
but pouty lips and honeyed words aren't
as sweet as you remembered.)
and maybe you've convinced yourself
that if you're so eager to leave,
it's truly for the best
you once fulfilled all those needs.
when times get tough
it's not enough
that fragile hearts are made of glass
because maybe you've convinced yourself
you deserve better.
"I really did care about you"
you liked the way your heart fluttered,
but you know it's nothing
special. that patterned excitement
in your chest, that once
blue and gold are not just colorsshe had been blue-sightedblue and gold are not just colors1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
dawn cracked her forehead.
it was the dress she wore on his funeral
the color of her school flag
the shine in her father's eyes;
she waited in blue and gold.
no, she refused to set a bar
life didn't just come to her.
she earned her place
in her mother's womb
when each blood vessel questioned her
each nerve ending, if she could live
and each antibody, if she was worth it.
see, she doesn't need new dresses.
she has a memory
for each of hers in her locked closet.
she may not wear all of them
(and most she cringes at the sight of)
but her heart
every time bits of her old life
show unconnected dots
she forces back together.
yes, she waited in blue and gold.
but not for you
you threw a smile at her face
that was never hers to take
but you love your girls vulnerable
and you love your numbers copious.
there's a great chance she
hates those colors now
because everyone who waits outside her window
fails to notice there's no movement
As Insubstantial As Cigarette Smokei.As Insubstantial As Cigarette Smoke1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
they wrapped me through with police tape
before i was born;
yellow silk fetters entwined among
the arches of my ribs
and along the hollow bumps of my spine
like a warning
binding back what leviathan lay
in the dusk
i've searchedandsearched and never found it,
but they promise me,
(oh promise me it's there).
i've tried to call down the sun from up high
because i didn't like the way it made everything
i prefer the darkness.
(they've told me that's
where i belong,
hidden away for what
better purpose i have yet to
i'm drowning in shadows vague and empty,
and all the wrong words
i never gathered the courage to
because with each whisper
another remnant of what sky i used to know
comes crumbling down,
and i always bloody my hands
when i pick up the shards.
i tried to tell them
that everything falls to pieces.
they shook their heads
with jaded smiles
and told me not to worry.
but they are reflective, i say
Walls Come Tumblingyou've a soul of gold,Walls Come Tumbling1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a feat untold in our
lonely rusted world
you make clouds more
than a fable- you enable beaten down
dreams to finally soar
you have words like oxygen,
necessary to live, treasures
you would readily give
we wish upon them all who try to stand so tall.
in the end, why is it every person seems to fall?
I imagine your chest sings
all answers, which your mouth then
tries to translate and share
does your heart grow weighted
or are you really free?
if you're truly so wonderful,
why stick around
with the lost and found?
there's nothing nice to be.
we're tainted. broken. here,
backbones hold priority
over silken hands, a steady heartbeat
and eyes that really see.
those tongues who like the taste
of truth, even freshly born,
Floodgate EyesPlease promise me something better,Floodgate Eyes1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
even if it is a lie-- sometimes believing
is enough. (sometimes knowing is too
much. tomorrow I will wake up
and travel a little farther down the road
to my own self-destruction. You are
I won't look back, I'm already wrapped up
in my fears of the moment. An intricate
web of justifications and anxiety is
tethering me to these uncertain feelings.
Would you finally cut me free
if I caved into you? Because
I think I'm getting close.
And I think I read the world all wrong,
but I can still play along.
because selling yourself short never did
anyone harm, and besides, I'm already
pretty cheap. I think tears used to be
worth something-- I forget.
(Sometimes a pit forms in my stomach
just to prove I've done something wrong.
It spreads like cancer, morphing me into
These moments have never meant less.)
I promised myself I wouldn't die until
I was strong enough to leave something behind.
Until then, I'll just reinforce my
Stitching Wounds with Stringent FeelingsYou breathe me in with desperate, shriveled lungs--Stitching Wounds with Stringent Feelings1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
for I am a sordid necessity.
My words are like a salve for judgments hung
so selfishly upon your blatant needs.
And maybe you're a martyr in your eyes--
surprise, I see you lynched by your own thoughts.
Self pity and resentment are a guise
to hide the nothingness that starts to rot
your blackened insides. Take me into you,
feel whole from my magnetic pull towards those
robotic dialogues you think so true.
Just take me in, only the Lord could know
reflections meet you with a deadened stare.
You distant angels never really care.
I'll Be There When the Wind BlowsiI'll Be There When the Wind Blows1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
one day I'll be nothing but a whisper
in the swollen sky, which ebbs and flows
whenever you choose to open your eyes
this voice will be lost in the onslaught,
and I'll fade into my greatest fears
my thoughts have been known to shatter
on occasion, into fine powder
that scatters in the face of execution
I always worried roots grown in unstable ground
and remembering the way my body was built
would free the catastrophes sighing within me
it's easier to succumb to future's inevitabilities
that welcome you with undefined arms
sometimes I release pieces of myself
because I don't like the story they tell
about the history written in my palms, unrelenting
I wait these weighted hours until darkness ascends
where night sings lullabies of lands
that I never quite belonged to
one day the moon will shine a little too bright,
and I will evaporate into nothing but
a faint whisper, not worth the strain needed to hear
I will be lost in the transmissions
of those who meant more than me.
Effortlessbreathe inEffortless1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
you don't remember why you cry when you're happy,
and smile when you're sad
you've begun to find answers
in the calluses of your fingers
and the cracks on the ground
that we built our lives around
you're alive more than ever
you don't remember what it means
when your eyes sting
and you think you know it all
until you see another day
you forgot the words
that you used to paint across the sky,
it doesn't look the same
now they are only regrets,
you are scared
where's the pulse in your chest
that you wrote your heart to?
Sleeping Behind the WheelI want you to sing me a songSleeping Behind the Wheel1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
to erase all my preconceived notions
about life, love, and (listless?) dreams.
I want your voice
to conquer all my past--
the beast that plagues me.
I want you to whisper words so sweet
the day may finally rest.
Because I've been awake for years, now--
and I need a little sleep.
take me away--
redeem me with your notes
like fables, like promises,
like wishes made a million times before
take me away--
to that place between my mind and heaven,
that doesn't exist.
because there, I can be comforted
ignore the life I've spent
trying to tally all I've done wrong
I want you to write me a lullaby.
(I want you to lie)
I want to fall asleep
with a dream in my eyes
(instead of tears.)
and I want your thoughts to be
what gives that all to me.
There's got to be more than this, I don't want to just exist
Innocent Purgefingers not full grownInnocent Purge1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
still manage to pull free
and a mother's fear
says the mom who has too many
worries and wrinkles for
her daughter of nine
tears spring forth
from wells not seen
since her own pitiful choices
"you're already beautiful,
and there are so many better ways
please, please, please
don't make my same mistakes"
tiny fingers just long enough
to grasp at insecurities
and struggle with feelings
I want to be pretty
drain her empty
in the filthiest of cleansings
the mind of a child can't comprehend irony,
and that is her only solution
"but mommy" she chirps
stained with promises of perfection
from a girl too young
to know the consequences
(or the reasons)
she smiles a broken smile
because she's almost there
and she's unaware
she lost part of herself she'll never get back
"please, don't do what I did.
please, don't be like me."
"but mommy," she says
"I already am"
and the cycle repeat
EclipsingI'd probably forge my whole heart, anewEclipsing1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
if you only asked
but you're out of words, tonight
the stars are shining much too bright
unlike you've ever seen before
if you blink, you'll miss them
you'll miss them
(you have already missed enough
to make you wonder what's really left)
your eyes are shining
of everything you hope to be
so you cannot see me.
and sometimes I wish
you'd just shut your eyes
because they say resting
is the greatest relief
when you can sleep,
and let go of everything you've ever seen before
for something more
and something dark
because it's there, I stay
laying in wait
praying on a dream
praying on you
(I wonder that wishes
are a certain kind of religion
which just gives me
more grounds to be
but the stars are burning
too bright, tonight
you're lost in their shine
you'll miss me.
I think I wait for words that don't exist,
(if only you asked
before I eclipsed)
Into Something Newto the edge and back again--Into Something New1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
your hands were screaming
on the steering wheel
we have nowhere to go
you've always flirted
with the belief that moving
might get you someplace
like dreams of heaven and
eternities and carelessness
but forever is never enough.
it is not reachable,
and all the tire tread in the world
couldn't take you from your
no one ever took no for an answer;
your hands still scream for
deliverance from ambiguity
and actuality, as well.
so into the edge, far into the end
break the sky with your questions why
we have nowhere to go
but we'll get there soon
Somewhere Between Creation and Beingthey built him out of sandpaperSomewhere Between Creation and Being1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
so he could help those
a little rough around the edges
they gave him rose-colored irises
and put his heart in his throat
so he could only speak love
they wrote him a history
deep within his DNA
(lingering, and a little too clingy)
but he learned to live on promises
instead of mistakes
they gifted him off-center feet
that always leaned into his dreams;
he was tall enough to live
with his head in the clouds.
sometimes waiting gets to you.
it settles your leaden bones
and you forget why your legs won't move
you fall a little too far
into everything you're praying on,
and you don't have the strength to
pull yourself back into normal living.
but he was different
he didn't believe, he knew
time didn't slip,
he nursed it
and he never broke
even though they piled
the weight of the world
on his expectant shoulders
Without Wingsshe spoke in lullabiesWithout Wings1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and breathed out wishes-
she hoped and prayed for fairytales so often
you could trace the dreams in her veins
she strived for worlds that didn't exist
and she lost her heart without being aware
she ever gave it
she needed to run away-
because she lived in a house of mirrors
and she was scared of the sight
of her own face
she had to teach herself to walk
but she couldn't run
and she was stuck, grounded
watching time pass her by
sometimes you forget how to count
she withered away
her veins, barren of dreams
her eyes glossed over till she was nearly blind
to be afraid
because monsters weren't to be feared
and happily ever after
wasn't to be expected
when he found her, she was fallen
"I was built with hollow bones
but I'm still not strong enough to pick myself
her ribcage had caved in to that
empty hole that used to hold her heart
he lifted her up
with silky eyes and
starry whispers and said
Idylliche always spoke of the romantic stance in a smokerIdyllic1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
whose every gasp was like a suicidal swansong, he
wrapped himself up so tightly in unwarranted wishing, when
they stripped him free, he then stumbled into the sunlight
and burnt [out]
no one laced his pillows with lavender and moonbeams
and all the other things that call dreams out from
hiding; but he still prayed upside-down overdone
every evening for a falling star to find its way
instead, they surrounded him with [a grain of]
salt circles like curses to draw out the weaknesses
temptation had embedded in him, because
nothing beautiful was ever built atop a rotten foundation
(one exception: architecture of shattered resplendence)
and no one ever got anywhere by treating the
thorns in their side as a reminder to remain
more prominent than the injuries they would inflict.
he's broken (he does not reflect) he wanes and worries
as his heart choruses "not enough," ever-growing
as his fears acclimate and his pulse sings- some
Nighttime Ramblings and InsufficiencyYou drop your jaw,Nighttime Ramblings and Insufficiency1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and you pull words out from
hiding, deep in your throat.
You wretch up a mass of
unfiltered, unedited, reality
because you believe that's what it is
to be understood.
You leave a trail of mutterings
wherever you go
no one will ever want me
it's not enough
and i'm sorry, i'm
so so sorry
Do you remember the difference between
a shadow and a ghost? (the world ends
the day the sun won't shine)
Instead of sleeping (maybe
tomorrow won't come if you
don't say goodnight) you wait;
you will not be remembered, and
that is the scariest part-
you were never loud enough.
i'm so sorry
The night presses too hard,
pulling you down, even though
you plead for one more day to prove
you aren't just passing through.
In the margins, you breathe:
Sleeping Souls Never Liethey buried youSleeping Souls Never Lie1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
with stars in your palms, because
they thought it was a crime
you'd never made a wish in your life
the dirt and darkness
was enough to extinguish
their dying lights
(it's okay, your silent skin
said, softly, I always wanted
the sky to bring me to sleep)
the priest begged, believing you
might rise from the hole
you'd dug for yourself
he wanted to let you know
there was something bigger than all of us,
someplace farther than 6 feet under
(I'm alright, your stony eyes
swore, sometimes falling
feels enough like flying)
their voices all filled with tears
even though you said you weren't worth
their worries, they wept for the future
you wouldn't get to live
(I wouldn't have lived it anyways,
they buried you
near the ocean, where the moon
always shone too bright
so you'd never again have to fear
any monsters of the night
they left flowers, photos, notes
and a little bit of themselves, too
when they finally left you
you believed it was right
Worthlessthe worst part about being nothingWorthless1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
is knowing nothing is commonplace
and, even though I thought I was so
I was exactly the same
I'll never say your name
because then this would feel real
and I would have to accept
that giving all I had
never meant a thing
does a wooden heart still beat,
or does it only leave splinters?
did you ever even think of me-
the weak girl who believed in
too many broken words?
s p i n e less
I'd bend to any shape
if I thought it would be enough
but when I was finally measured out,
I was found to be worth less
than a lie
I'm one of none, there's a
Leaveme.Leave1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I no longer house sanity
only ghosts that were never
told how to move on.
maybe we used to be the same,
but now your cracked reflection
only adds to my years of bad luck
you never counted the lines in my smile,
or the notes between my freckles,
you only measured me.
I'm something to get by on,
but I'm simply not enough.
my watered-down voice
is growing weaker.
and you feed me sugar pills
to diminish the pain
(these bones still bleed)
there are vultures in your eyes,
they know what's coming next
children call on saviors to vanquish demons
from their closets and I'm begging
the silent priests to
they didn't understand what I meant
when I said you stole my breath away
if I turn on the lights,
would you disappear like the times
when I needed help?
I live in waking fear of silence
(I know it's where you wait)
Justifications and Salted Smiles"I don't think I'm holding on any longerJustifications and Salted Smiles1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm diving in.
I wish that you would see,
there's a magical land at the bottom of the ocean
where waterproof lungs let you be
everything you've dreamed.
You can bury underneath the sand
and not be found-
it's the land that's been promised to me
in late night whispers
and burnt tears
wasted on things that don't matter.
I know it's real,
broken minds can't lie
and I can feel it in my bones-
there's something more.
What other reasons would we live for?
They say you inhale saltwater
and exhale enlightenment.
The waves pour over you
and finally make you clean (pure)
No one knows where you are
so your problems don't follow
and neither does time.
It all fades away
until you disintegrate
like your worries.
You can only get there
with a heart that doesn't beat
because humans' empty brains
You need to be all the way gone
I want to go and find myself
and live the dreams I never had.
I swear, it's not that bad-
mermaid's lamentShe had the tongue to joke like the dolphins and to sing with the whales, but it is not the same as feeling sand through your toes or running along the landscapes like she witnesses while gazing from the rocks.mermaid's lament1 year ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"I want to have legs, like them." she would lament while combing seaweed from her hair and lounging among the reefs.
"But it is too dangerous, my daughter. Wouldn't you rather search for pearls and ride the currents?"
The insatiable desire for legs drove her to go further and further to the shore, where she could hear children laughing and musical instruments serenading the heavens.
"I want to have legs, and dance to the music played on the beaches, to pluck the strings of a harp to worship Mother Earth."
"You can twirl in the whirlpools, my lovely child, and sit along the waves to sing the songs of the whales."
Every evening, she rendezvoused with a young sailor. He brought her diamonds and told her secrets of the earth and sky. They kissed each night, but she must always leave
HerstoryHer-storyHerstory1 year ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I can't describe to you how much I love her.
I actually feel nauseous just at the thought of her even thinking of another.
In all my short life I never even thought I would ever discover.
A woman that I would be proud to name as my baby's mother.
I know that if I were to hypothetically loose everything, we would still have each other
And it is my chest only that she will caress under the cover.
Of course we are bound to argue and I will occasionally confront her.
Although I might not say it, I might even imagine her being someone else's lover.
And it's because of my insecurity and paranoia I end up making her suffer.
I'm just so used to everything going wrong sometimes I forget there is a book underneath every cover.
But the books I have read and heard about have forced me to think twice and not even bother.
They teach me to remain loyal to my masculine nature and become the perpetually lusting hunter.
That cares only about himself and disregards all others.
However that is n
Unfavorable for Evelyn Taliettefeathers flutter slowlyUnfavorable for Evelyn Taliette1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
the same way people do
they linger, drifting through the breeze
which doesn't favor the angel
stripped of her wings
she grasps, hopelessly
for something that could bring her back
she believes there has to be something
to take away her past
she grasps, hopelessly
but her fingers only find feathers
which now join her in her fall
gravity doesn't favor angels
with flaws of mankind
and so she falls
Poets Always Lieambrosial fabrications arePoets Always Lie1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
easier to swallow down when
incandescence is a blessing bestowed
only upon those with silky tongues.
deceptions are beautiful
in the right words
because they are salvation, like a
rapture, they save the sickly,
self-indulgent souls from those
tragedies they used to write on the insides
of childhood notebooks about who
they could never be [themselves]
they rescue them from tremulous
corners and closets, hideaways
where they've grown too akin to
the demons they nurse; and drag
them into a land beautiful enough
to wear light as a second skin
(where lies are never discussed
but always shared)
are so much more comforting
than the absoluteness of reality
because self-resentment is as
natural as a heartbeat to those
who were born breathing and
abhorring and denying all from one
steady gasp of what the existent world
had to offer to them
back then their eyes opened, and
their fingers fumbled, born, they realized
the world wasn't as pretty as promi
Dragon BreathI want to tell youDragon Breath2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That you shine,
But I'm scared.
That you would shrivel,
Under the pressure
Of a compliment.
Because I know
You only live in rainstorms
But I've always thought
You were a dragonfly.
Your breath is fire
In my waterlogged soul.