Com: Blood Raining NightI'll do multiple chapters at a time. This is a blind review/commentary on Blood Raining Night by ~Reicheru-Ketsueki. Before we get started, I'd like to mention I wish no harm towards this user. I only intend to humor people. And no, Eris is not helping me on this one. Reading "My Immortal" made her quit. This features chapters 1-3. My commentary is in italics and square brackets.
Chapter One - The First Rainy Night
The sky was blue out. Reicheru had just opened her golden eyes to the morning like she has for the past 17 years of her life. She grogily rubbed her hands on her eyelids and rolled over. She was staring Denmark in the face or as she calls him "Denny."
[So, I'm guessing this is a Hetalia fanfiction where the OC is paired with a canon character? Or maybe that creepy socially awkward kid from "The Room" tagged along!]
"Denny-Kuuuun," she spoke softly like floating butterflies on the breeze "good morn
Com: Blood Raining Night pt.2Com: Blood Raining Night pt.23 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
This will be the review/commentary on chapters 4-10. But before I start, let's set up a game you can play while reading. For every redundant phrase, plot hole and misspelled word you notice, take a sip of whatever beverage you have. I strongly don't recommend alcohol, because something tells me that's going to get you buzzed in less than 15 minutes.
Chapter 4 - The Avatar of the Yakuza
[What? Another series is going to be brought into this? Oh hell no.]
"Huuuu-haa!" her black hair wiped around like a black wip. There was a feirce look of constetration on her face as fire and air came out of her hands.
Denmark took Reicheru over to her, "Rei-kun" he said, "meet Korra, your new tutor in learning the dark arts of air and fire bending."
[*Concentration; *Fierce; *Whipped. I didn't know air and fire were considered dark elements. I'd rather bend Lithium anyday.]
"Konnichiwa! Watashinonamaeha Reicheru Ketsueki, sore wa anata ni aete ureshidesu!" Rei bowed, formally, her
Com: Blood Raining Night pt.3Com: Blood Raining Night pt.33 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Part three of the fanfiction review. I'm going to be more blunt this time. Featuring parts 11-15.
listen, if you guys are too immature 2 handle the sexy parts of my story then you should just not read it, k?
you guys commenting on chapter 9 should stop pointing fingers at me and telling me there's something wrong with me, I write bad, and those other things.
[It's not because people are immature, it's because people don't want others to be exposed to that shit. Yes, your writing is horrible. I can't tell what grade you're in. If
you are taking English class, it seems like you're ignoring the instructions and paying more attention to anime and learning Japanese.]
Chapter 11 - A Beautiful Voice Lost in the Rain
Sensei laughed really hard, "good going Minna. You should join the contest, too. Do any of you ever sing in the shower?"
[I don't know anyone who does.]
They all looked at each other and said, "yeah
Com: Blood Raining Night pt.4Com: Blood Raining Night pt.43 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Hello to all the readers out there. You know the drill, just have an ice-pack ready. Aaaaannnd, GO!
lostsa decription and awesomeness, it's FINALLY DONE!!!!
[Alright then, let's see what you've got!]
Chapter 16 - The Witch and the Huntress
it was scary and cold outside. Nothing could be heard but the breathing of Reicheru, Yuki and Minna. not even birds fluttered like fishes in the ocean through the sky of everlashting darkness and the stars.
[Here's a hint, "show us rather than "tell" us. How was it scary outside? Quiet isn't enough to be scary.]
They were looking for Luka who was known for her beautiful singing voice and magic spells that were vasted over people and goodness did she have big boobs! Other people thought that maybe she was the child of the goddess of Aphroditee.
[It's "goddess Aphrodite". Putting "of" between those words suggest that the character is a child of Aphrodite's underlings rather than
Rev: Harrys SisRev: Harrys Sis3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and creeps sneaking under the seats, we're reviewing another Harry Potter fic. Eris has come along for the lulz. This fic was written
by esfaniarules. We take no credit for any broken bones or loss of IQ. Read at your own risk.
hi my nane is evangelinee estefania ewok fanny for short (ew not that one u creep) i am harry potters adooted tiwn sis and am even smarted than his bff hermine. wen mine
mum and da ded cuz hawry was want by lord volmort
[Eris: Oh dear God, this is worse than My Immortal!
Me: She's named after a furry butt, of course this is going to be terrible!]
ay way my bff is ginie Wesley nd she is ron's sis lyk im hairys [Use some Nair then!] my final name is eqow [A cow.] cuz i got adoited by sme ppl wiv tnat
[Eris: She was adopted by farmers? That's nice.]
my bf cedic dyed cuz hary tuk him to a gravyard ad voolmort dyed him [What color?]
so on my waay trnsfiguration wiv profesor mcg
Promises - Part 1 - Gin Icimaru x ReaderPromises - Part 1 - Gin Icimaru x Reader9 months ago in Drama More Like This
Two boys looked down on my small fragile figure. Legs flew to my ribs as they snickered and continued mercilessly. "Stop, please..." I coughed up blood near one of the boy's shoes. He growled and slammed his foot in my face. A mangled scream poured out of my mouth. They beat me until I felt nothing, numbness started to wrap around my stomach. Until Someone from behind drug them down to the ground. A small boy with white hair bashed on the too bigger boys until they were clearly passed out.
When the white haired boy came closer, I noticed blood smeared along his right cheek. "Hiya, you okay?" He held his hand out to reach mine, he watched patiently, smiling with his eyes closed. "No...no, thank you... for rescuing me." weakly, I grabbed his hand and shook it. "Gin Ichimaru, what's your name?" His head was cocked to the side. "Kashen Sugii."
The night stars twinkled down on the two kids, both smiling at the blossoming relationship. "Would you like to stay with me and my grandfather tonig
Golden Secrets [ShunUki]"... Hey, Jū~?" If anyone else in the captain meeting heard Shunsui's quiet voice, they didn't acknowledge it. The white haired male silently groaned to himself as he shifted his gaze swiftly from the captain-commander to his lover.Golden Secrets [ShunUki]2 years ago in Humor More Like This
"What?" Jūshirō's whispered voice was laced with irritation. "Surely it can wait until this is over."
"Nope~. It can't." Shunsui smirked. "It's very important."
Jūshirō's nervous green eyes returned to the captain-commander. "I doubt that."
"Oh come on, Jū~. Just listen to me."
"Don't be so stubborn." Jūshirō knew without looking that a pout had formed on the brunette's stubbled face.
"If it is so very important, Captain Kyōraku, then share it with the rest of us." An old, irritated voice interrupted the bickering couple. The mentioned male blinked, turning his grey gaze to look around at his fellow captains, all of which had their eyes locked on
Terror [Hanataro x Reader]Overwhelming terror overtook Hanatarou as he walked through the sewers alongside (Name), his shaky hands placed on her arm. (Name) had been injured throughout all of the chaos above. While Hanatarou worried about Ichigo, Ganju, and their journeys, his main objective at the moment was to get (Name) some help.Terror [Hanataro x Reader]9 months ago in Humor More Like This
"H-How're you feeling, (Name)? I-Is your leg still hurting?" Hanatarou questioned, glancing down at her wounded area. (Name) stopped walking, bent down, and placed both of her hands on her knee.
"It really hurts." She admitted. "I don't know if I should keep walking. Even though I've been trying to keep off of it as much as possible as we've walked, it's still in a lot of pain."
"O-Oh no..." Hanatarou gulped, his panic rising more and more each second. How could her get her any help when she couldn't walk? "You have to be able to walk, (Name)! I-I can't get you any help if you can't- Oh no!" Hanatarou started pacing back and forth, sweat pouring off of his forehead.
"Can you go get
Soul Reaping on Motorcycles"So you think you can fix it?" questioned Shuhei.Soul Reaping on Motorcycles4 years ago in Humor More Like This
" Maybe, but this motorcycle is pretty old," replied a serious looking man with spiky black hair that had yellow stripes in the front. He was looking over the motorcycle. "Where'd you find this anyway?"
"I found it during a mission and brought it back home. I brought it here 'cause I heard if anyone could fix it up, it'd be you, Yusei."
Yusei let off a smirk. He wasn't a prideful man by nature, but he always did like the fact that his mechanical genius was higher than others. He just never flaunts it like others would.
"Like I said, it is pretty old, so it might take a while to find the necessary parts to fix it up."
"I see. Hmm, would it be possible to soup it up with this world's technology or would it need the older parts?"
The duelist thought about it. He never thought to combine old and new technology before. Most of everything today was based off of old designs
Paperwork?- Toshiro Hitsugaya X ReaderYou were working on paperwork as usual, there was nothing else really that you could do. It was a rather boring day anyways, so no point in you trying to have some fun. You were in Toshiro's office, since he never really minded your company. You were filing a report at the time about how well Squad 10 was with training.Paperwork?- Toshiro Hitsugaya X Reader1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Toshiro, how well do you think our Squad has come along with their training?" You asked, looking towards the snowy-haired captain. Your question must have been expected because he looked to you with bored eyes. Those turquoise eyes of his always caught your attention. They were so mesmerizing that there was nothing you could do but stare. He didn't notice your staring, but instead just answered your question.
"Yes, the training is coming along, almost all my squad members are ready for battle if need be." He said, returning his stack of paperwork. The room was constantly filled with it, as much as you thought Rangiku didn't like it, and always skipped out,
Com: BRN ch. 19[Chapter 19 of Blood Raining Night by Reicheru-Ketsueki. Eris is coming along for the ride this time.Com: BRN ch. 193 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Eris: The other chapters were... I don't know what to even say.]
wheeeeeeeew!!!! thank god it's finally chapter 19~!
AREN"T WE EXCITED!!!! I AM!!!!!!
sorry lol, little hyper because my new episode is taking tons of images to make.
[You mean you're using a camera for this? Excessive imagery means nothing in a story that doesn't have plot consistency or decent characters.]
i'm very tired -.-
It's usually only around 60 but this is super detailed so yeahhh~
a few people complain about my Japanese
FINE i will include more into my story
I could translate this all into Japanese if I had to :/
[Oh, I bet that would result in some hilarious mistranslations. Your poor grasp of English alone is splitting my sides!
Eris: Does she even know her fanfic is being torn up by us freaks?
Me: No, doesn't seem so, my lady.]
10 Myths About IntrovertsI came across this list recently and felt like sharing it. I am an introvert, myself. I found myself completely agreeing with all of these things !!10 Myths About Introverts3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Myth #1 Introverts don't like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don't talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won't shut up for days.
Myth #2 Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don't interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don't worry about being polite.
Myth #3 Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don't see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure t
The Nightly Debate [Shunsui x Jushiro]For as much as Shunsui and Jūshirō have always agreed with one another, they have had their differences throughout the years. After they had moved in together, they realized that their greatest differences lied in the bedroom.The Nightly Debate [Shunsui x Jushiro]1 year ago in Humor More Like This
Of course, Shunsui and Jūshirō have never been like a normal couple. Instead of disagreeing with one another over sexual matters in bed each night, they commonly discussed a more serious matter; what they were going to watch on television that night.
Being the more serious man that he is, Jūshirō enjoys watching informative shows. He enjoys the occasional, child-friendly sit-com as well, the ones that he would be able to watch with his younger siblings. On the other hand, Shunsui preferred shows of a different sort.
Shunsui's favourite type of television show was reality t.v. He wasn't sure why he enjoyed watching the hectic, staged lives of spoiled celebrities, but after the first episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County," S
Cobra Commander Reviews My Immortal: Chapter 1The following insanity is brought to you by :iconanarchywriter:, who convinced me carry out this madness!Cobra Commander Reviews My Immortal: Chapter 13 years ago in Personal More Like This
:iconcobraplz: Greetings, future COBRA slaves! Your glorious soon-to-be leader has seen fit to generously donate his time for your amusement, in a spontaneous display of compassion and benevolence!
:icondestro-plz: In other words, he was found guilty of crimes against humanity by the World Court, and his sentence was either this or ten years hard labor.
:iconcobraplz: Blast it Destro! I don't remember inviting you here! Wait, why are you here? What do you care about some pointless review of some vapid story?
:icondestro-plz: You have no idea what "My Immortal" is, do you Commander?
:iconcobraplz: Why would a military geni
things I will not tolerate1. Please do NOT favebomb my entire gallery folders or fave EVERY single new deviation I post! If you actually think it's a good way to grab my attention, it's NOT. It will only make me avoid you more than anything. If you really want to get my attention, just only fave my deviations that you actually like or agree with. Maybe even some helpful comments would do. Faving every new thing I post or faving my entire gallery is only annoying spam that takes me a long time to clean out of my inbox.things I will not tolerate6 months ago in Editorial More Like This
2. When I ask for comments or criticism on my art, I am not asking for you to say some shit like "OMG THAT'S SO PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. THERE'S TOTES NOTHING WRONG IT IT 10/10!" That's not critiquing. That's just you trying way to hard to suck up to me (or "asskissing", as some people call it). I want a full-fledged detailed critique pointing out the goods and bads of my art, not asskissing.
3. Posting one-word comments on my art is not helpful either. It is just weak and
STORY PROMPT: The boy and the dragonessThe dragoness peeked through the trees, spotting me.STORY PROMPT: The boy and the dragoness5 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Hello there." Her reptilian voice chuckled. "Nice to see you again."
I backed up, reaching for my dagger. The dragoness sighed as she stood up to her full heigh above the trees. "What, again? Aren't you used to this by now?"
"No!" I shouted. "Why can't you just leave me alone?!"
"You know I can't do that." The dragoness reached down for me with a clawed hand. "Now come here, you tasty morsel."
I jumped back, swinging my dagger at her fingers. The blade barely scratched her scaled exterior, but she winced all the same. I ran off into the forest before she had a chance to grab for me again. I could feel the ground shaking as the dragoness gave chase.
"You're always running away from me..."
I ran as fast as I could. It was a struggle to keep my bearings as the ground quaked with each of the dragoness's footfalls. Her casual strut was more than enough to keep up with my sprints; she cruhsed bushes and trees beneath her feet.
KibaxReader- Midnight KibaxReader- MidnightKibaxReader- Midnight2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
You walked through the dark forest, unaware that you were not alone. You sensed a presence behind you, and drew a kunai fast enough to barely block the attack. Looking to the headband that gleamed in the moonlight, you saw the mark of the Sound engraved within the headband. Jumping away, you threw a few shuriken at him, and watched them, as they lodged into his stomach. He made a gasping noise, and fell to the ground. You could hear his heartbeat slowly stop. You ran back to the small hut, kunai at the ready. Reaching the nut, you cautiously opened the door. Cold air greeted you. None of the members that had come with you were there.
“You are to go to the Sound Village, and gather information there. With (y/n) on your team, you should be able to perform the mission quickly,” Lady Tsunade, the Hokage of the Leaf V