Com: Blood Raining NightI'll do multiple chapters at a time. This is a blind review/commentary on Blood Raining Night by ~Reicheru-Ketsueki. Before we get started, I'd like to mention I wish no harm towards this user. I only intend to humor people. And no, Eris is not helping me on this one. Reading "My Immortal" made her quit. This features chapters 1-3. My commentary is in italics and square brackets.
Chapter One - The First Rainy Night
The sky was blue out. Reicheru had just opened her golden eyes to the morning like she has for the past 17 years of her life. She grogily rubbed her hands on her eyelids and rolled over. She was staring Denmark in the face or as she calls him "Denny."
[So, I'm guessing this is a Hetalia fanfiction where the OC is paired with a canon character? Or maybe that creepy socially awkward kid from "The Room" tagged along!]
"Denny-Kuuuun," she spoke softly like floating butterflies on the breeze "good morn
Com: Blood Raining Night pt.2Com: Blood Raining Night pt.22 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
This will be the review/commentary on chapters 4-10. But before I start, let's set up a game you can play while reading. For every redundant phrase, plot hole and misspelled word you notice, take a sip of whatever beverage you have. I strongly don't recommend alcohol, because something tells me that's going to get you buzzed in less than 15 minutes.
Chapter 4 - The Avatar of the Yakuza
[What? Another series is going to be brought into this? Oh hell no.]
"Huuuu-haa!" her black hair wiped around like a black wip. There was a feirce look of constetration on her face as fire and air came out of her hands.
Denmark took Reicheru over to her, "Rei-kun" he said, "meet Korra, your new tutor in learning the dark arts of air and fire bending."
[*Concentration; *Fierce; *Whipped. I didn't know air and fire were considered dark elements. I'd rather bend Lithium anyday.]
"Konnichiwa! Watashinonamaeha Reicheru Ketsueki, sore wa anata ni aete ureshidesu!" Rei bowed, formally, her
Com: Blood Raining Night pt.3Com: Blood Raining Night pt.32 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Part three of the fanfiction review. I'm going to be more blunt this time. Featuring parts 11-15.
listen, if you guys are too immature 2 handle the sexy parts of my story then you should just not read it, k?
you guys commenting on chapter 9 should stop pointing fingers at me and telling me there's something wrong with me, I write bad, and those other things.
[It's not because people are immature, it's because people don't want others to be exposed to that shit. Yes, your writing is horrible. I can't tell what grade you're in. If
you are taking English class, it seems like you're ignoring the instructions and paying more attention to anime and learning Japanese.]
Chapter 11 - A Beautiful Voice Lost in the Rain
Sensei laughed really hard, "good going Minna. You should join the contest, too. Do any of you ever sing in the shower?"
[I don't know anyone who does.]
They all looked at each other and said, "yeah
The Fire Within - Chapter OneDead. That one word was all that lingered in my mind like a dark, black shadow that touched each of my thoughts. Yes, she’s long gone now. Gone like the ashes flowing in the wind towards an uncertain and melancholic future. It was a house fire that killed my friend. She had burned to death. Burned. I had heard her ear-piercing shrill moments before I arrived at her house.The Fire Within - Chapter One3 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I was rushing over with tears in my eyes and my friend on my mind. The wind whipped through my hair like water as the smoke stung my eyes making my caged tears flow down my face freely. They only left paths of despair in their tracks. But I could only focus on the orange glow of the fire behind the black silhouette of the trees getting brighter as I got near. The smoke suffocated my lungs and they felt like they were going to collapse, but I kept running. I saw the house in view, the orange and red flame ingesting my friend’s house. Movement on the ground caught my eye. I’m too late, I thought as my
Desherkem Ch. 1Aiyshna’s screams filled the home, reverberating back in ear deafening quality. She clawed at the sheets beneath her, clenching her teeth.Desherkem Ch. 13 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
“I can see the head,” the midwife urged her to keep pushing.
Aiyshna prepared to wail again when Tariush, her husband, placed his cool hand on her forehead. He leaned close to her ear, shushing her softly.
“It will all be over soon.”
Her screams were silenced, replaced with heavy panting and pained grunts. The beautiful Nubian turned a fierce eye on her husband.
“I should castrate you for this! This is your doing, Tariush!”
He smiled, azure eyes flickering in the torchlight, as he brushed her hair.
“Yes, yes the pain you feel is all my doing. I will take my punishment as a man once you have given me my child.”
Aiyshna did not approve of his chastising tone, but she had little to say when the room was filled with tiny cries. Tariush left her side to look on the midwife who was gingerly removing th
Inky SeclusionWhen there's nothing left for me here; I write.Inky Seclusion3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's my soul laid out in inky marks, bare for all to read.
Life goes on by, changing with time, yet my release stays the same.
My world within, created in thought.
It's where I flee to, and forget the rest.
I'm (not) okay!Everyone sometime in their life is asked, "Are you okay?" And of course, we always give the standard answer of, "Yeah, I'm fine!"I'm (not) okay!4 days ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Because it is what we were taught to do. No one wants to hear "No, I'm not." because then what are we to do? We expect that same answer, so when it does not come, we fidget, we get awkward, we stutter, we don't know what to say.
And truthfully, we really don't.
How can we fix a problem we've never been met before? When everyone says they're "Just fine.", how do others expect us to react when the answer is the opposite? That's why we always say we're "Just fine." because we don't know. We're afraid. We're afraid of opening up to others and comforting others. It's not that we can't, but really, what can we do? Give a hug, get some chocolate, be there? That's a little hard to do nowadays.
Most of today's generation is stuck in front of a computer screen, with most of their friends half way around the world. How do you expect us to comfort you
The 27 Commandments of FanFiction1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.The 27 Commandments of FanFiction2 weeks ago in General Fiction More Like This
2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8. Thou shalt not use , , or in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9. Thou s
Not just Anti-PeTAPETA. I'm pretty sure you've all heard of them. "People for the ethical treatment of animals".Not just Anti-PeTA4 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
Ethical, huh? Is total genocide of all Pit-bulls really ethical? Is firebombing medical research labs ethical? Is sending death threats to children because they eat pheasant what you would call ethical?
Let me begin by saying I love animals. They are my life. I want to be a Zoologist who specializes in animal behavior when I get older. I have had a special connection with animals since, Hell, since I was born. My grandfather's Rottweiler would practically babysit me before I was even able to stand. And that is why when I hear praise to peta, I cringe.
Peta says they want total animal liberation. I'm sorry, but thats just foolish. We, as people don't even have total liberation. Let me explain fully what peta claims they stand for:
No Zoos. Remember going to the tiger exhibit in the bronx Zoo? and how they showed all that stuff about poaching and how tigers are being brought back thr
Life and Death: Until the EndI hate you! Why do you steal what I create?Life and Death: Until the End3 months ago in Drama More Like This
I take what comes to me. I do not steal. Since the beginning, you can never seem to grasp the difference.
It doesn’t matter which word you choose. You cause me pain.
I am an end to pain. I end the pain of your children.
You end their life. You take some before they can even have a chance to live.
It is not my choice nor is it my fault. Your children are not immortal. Their bodies fade but their souls continue. I send them to where they belong. You know of this.
You are so full of darkness. I can barely see, let alone know what you do.
I see you. I see your beauty, your tragedy. Your love and your hate. I see all your colors. You are everything. I am nothing.
Nothing but an end.
If it wasn’t for me, the pain of your children would be perennial. I cut off the pain that your own children cause to their own kin. I don’t cause you pain. The pain is from you. I’ve seen it for a long time.
I Miss YouI miss the days we were goofing around,I Miss You1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I miss your sweet mango perfume.
I miss when you comforted me during the bad times,
And I miss your beautiful eyes that were full of joy.
I hate being so alone.
Do you miss me?
This world is so dull without you.
And it's hard getting up in the morning.
But, I know that one day,
We'll see each other.
But for now,
I'll endure this pain that grows ever so slowly.
How to Survive Anime WorldHow to Survive Anime WorldHow to Survive Anime World6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Dont be ugly
Its all right to be average or drop dead gorgeous, but nothing good ever happens to ugly people. In fact, theres a good chance youll be completely wiped out of existence. So its time to drop down to 70 pounds, dye your hair blond, and spend your lifesavings on casual yet stylish clothes.
Have flawslots of them
If youre good at anything, people will hate youa lot. But nothing gets the most popular guys and girls looking your way than someone who cant do anything right. Its also a great way to get pesky people from declaring you their rival.
Know martial arts
Face it: everybody in the anime world at some point in time is going to want to beat you up. Your only chance of survival is to beat them up first.
Have mysterious friends
If you dont know martial arts, mysterious friends are a must for those sticky situations in every anime. Its easy to recogni
How to Own Your WolfabooThere is nothing wrong with wanting to protect an animal, namely one that you love, but please do not spread lies about it.How to Own Your Wolfaboo3 years ago in Drama More Like This
Statement #1: Wolves have never attacked people before.
Truth: Has teeth, will bite! You cannot exclude captive wolves from this sort of statement. Any predatory animal can and will bite under the circumstances. There is plenty of documentation that shows wolves have indeed been known to attack humans, including the natives. This is, of course, taking into account rabid, healthy, provoked and unprovoked wolves. But the main focal point being that wolves HAVE attacked people before. One of the most famous pieces of literature documenting wolf attacks is Wolves in Russia by Will N. Graves and Valerius Geist.
Statement #2: Ok, but there has never been a documented case of a healthy wolf killing a human in North America.
Truth: There are in fact two that recently happened over the past 6 years, Candice Berner and Kenton Carn
A Letter To Our GenerationDear Our Generation,A Letter To Our Generation1 month ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I'm sorry if I offend you, but out of all the generations...
This is the worst.
We care more about looks then ourselves.
Our insides bleeding to come out but we lock them up like a caged animal.
We hide our true selves not to get hurt by the ridicule, and punishment of the harsh outside world.
Sadly, we can't fix our fucked up generation,
Because it's gone too far to hell.
We can only watch now.
When you can walk down the street without seeing 14 year old girls' wearing a stripper's outfit then we'll talk.
When our life aspirations mean something in the long run then you can have a conversation with me.
When 15 year old boys aren't sagging pants, pulling out guns to pop a cap in someone else's ass, but actually learning how to be something to better themselves.
Tell me when that happens so we can continue this letter.
Kissing at 6.
Sex at 12.
Pregnant at 15.
In Police cars at 18.
Dead at 21.
I'm sorry, need I say more?
Wolfaboo JokesIt's about time someone created..... WOLFABOO JOKES!Wolfaboo Jokes4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. What did the wolfaboo say to the wolf?
2. Why did the wolf cross the road?
3.What's the difference between a wolfaboo and a fruit fly?
4. Why didn't the three little pigs have a sequel?
5. Why do wolfaboos claim that wolves are endangered, despite the proof in the ESA?
6. Why did the "Balto" series end so quickly?
7. What gets automatically tainted forever as soon as the eyes of a wolfaboo lay on it?
8. What happened to little red riding hood?
9. What do anti wolfers feed off of?
1. Nothing, the wolf bit his head off before he could speak.
2. Because there were no wolfaboos on the other side
3. Fruit flies have brains
4. They were slaughtered by a mob of wolfaboos.
5. They "don't know who ESA is"
6. Balto was ashamed, so he quit.
7. Any form of entertainment involving wolves
8. She spent the rest of her life hiding..... From the raging wolfaboos
9. The LULZ of the wolfaboos
Mommy's up in heavenSince the day you were goneMommy's up in heaven3 months ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I've been missing you so much
Daddy's been a mess
Brother is in legal trouble
Sister's been sneaking out late
Without you here
Nothing can be fix
If only you were here
I miss your soft hair
That I can touch every time you're near
I miss your warm smile
That lets me know you're here
I miss your touching hugs
To tell me you'll always be here
Why did you go?
I want you back
I miss you
Warrior Blood and Feline RacismIs it "Racist" to "Support Warrior Blood"?Warrior Blood and Feline Racism2 years ago in Writing More Like This
For those who don't already know: From the very beginning of the Warriors series, the issue of admitting outsiders has been a point of contention. In Into the Wild, Rusty the kittypet is invited to join ThunderClan, dividing the Clan as he receives support from some characters and resistance from others. The text's narration presents Rusty (renamed Firepaw) as the main protagonist and POV character, garnering automatic reader sympathy, and shows him enduring the poorly-thought-out jeers and criticism of prejudiced Clanmates. The characters who oppose his membership speak in silly, spiteful trivialities, such as complaining that he smells bad or arguing that his noisy collar would scare away prey (even though the collar is clearly removable). The overwhelming message is that this treatment is undeserved and wrong.
However, the series marched on, the cast grew, and after Fir
The Lone WolfThe Lone Wolf3 months ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
There was once a girl who loved to smile and laugh. She was always kind and considerate to others. She was polite and quiet, never raising her voice at people. She had always kept her darker side hidden, in fear that everyone would judge and hate her.
They hated her anyway. During her years in school, they always teased her smiles and laughs, saying that they were weird. The girl became afraid to smile or laugh, so she put on an emotionless mask. She never smiled or laughed again.
Over time, the girl became completely emotionless. Even her best friends struggled to make her happy. They left her. New people came to provoke her. She hated her friends for doing this to her, thus growing a new hatred for them in her chest.
Even her brother did the same. Only the girl's sister understood her pain.
In her last year, she's had enough. The girl decided to let her dark side take over. She became blunt, sarcastic, and harsh; cold, fear-inducing, and violent.
She did not hesitate to state her opi
List of chickification victimsList of Chickification victimsList of chickification victims1 year ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The definition of chickification, according to TV Tropes: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Chickification
Chickification is when a bad ass independent character starts becoming a stupid, co-dependant damsel character over time. Usually, the victim is female, but there are some male examples out there (I think...hmmmm....).
But anyways, chickification pisses me off more than your typical damsels. Here are a list of some of thie victims of this horrid act.
NOTE: Took Lara Croft off the list because the new Tomb Raider game is a prequel. That is excusable.
-Samus Aran (Metroid: The Other M)
-Aya Brea (Parasite Eve: The Third Birthday)
-Tifa Lockhart (especially in Advent Children. In AV, she basically fucks off and lets Cloud do most of the work)
-Elhaym "Elly" Van Houten (Xenogears)
-Jaina Proudmoor (Warcraft series)
-Alexstrasza (Warcraft series. She's a life binder, but spends most of her time being held hostage)
Tears Of An Angel ~ SerodousTears Of An Angel ~ Serodous3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your wings cradle around my aching ribs
I've been breathing so hard, it is cracking around my lungs
These tears burn my skin from the eyes they were born
But your hand is on my back tonight, sitting beside me as the sun dies
We've watched the world fall and the stars burn in our eyes
We've seen the reflections of oceans, and the clouds as they cried
My angel, guide my crumbling dreams tonight
I know you're listening to my falling apart
Deep inside your stone cold heart
It echo's in the abyss of the drawn-out corridors
Angel you'll cry for me tonight
I felt the world spin beyond these thousand lies
My heads underwater, but I'm only choking inside
Give me the strength to keep myself alive
Even when we fall apart your eyes sparkle till we die
I've been listening to the whispers of the wind
And as I lay in this cold bed, your wings cover and hide my wounds
Tears of an angel still scar my mind.
Alone together till the end of time
Lost in the sunset, and the sunrise
Tears of an angel, tonigh
Labyrinth of the Physical FormYou dare to wander throughout the catacombsLabyrinth of the Physical Form3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
And search every scum-filled corner
In search of something you may never find.
For the blood dripping down the walls will stain your white shirt
And the grim underneath will wear your feet down.
You'll become entangled in the tendrils of my faults,
And the sins will ensnare you in a death grip.
The air is suffocating
And the walls drip with poison of the mind.
The inner passage
To my heart, somehow still beating,
Is not worthwhile,
Yet you insist on finding the me
That's still lost in a dream.
You shine so bright
In my darkness,
I don't want to put you out.
Sol and DemocracySol and the demonizing of free willSol and Democracy2 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
The importance of religion and politics in the Warriors universe has always worried me, from the very first book onward. I finally decided not to recommend Warriors to children below or within the targeted age cap 9 to 12 when it became clear that Hollyleaf was, hair by hair, modeled after an Islamic jihadist. She actually murders in order to protect the Warrior Code or at least whatever she could pretend was left of it as long as certain secrets died with Ashfur.
And while at some points, Hollyleaf was implicitly depicted as insane, mostly when the absolute simpleton Lionblaze questioned her zeal, most of the time her attitude seemed to be glorified throughout the narration. Was Ashfur truly so bad for wanting to reveal the truth that the law had been broken? Aren't those who silence the truth through murder, the bad guys? Oh, but Hollyleaf grew herbs and chased off a fox, that makes it okay.
Now I finished "The forgotten Warrio
Am I Not Human?I came from my mother's womb.Am I Not Human?2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I fed from her breast.
I spoke my first words
and toddled unsteadily on the earth.
I read my books.
I learned to write.
I made friends who
I thought would stay by my side forever.
I had my first crush.
I had my first heartbreak.
I've been pushed down
and told I wasn't worth the life I was given.
I have cried my tears
and opened up my skin.
I know I bleed
the same colored blood as you claim to.
I have fallen in love.
I have fallen out of it.
I have found music
whose words mean everything and nothing.
But everyday I am told
I am disgusting.
Everyday I am told
I am monster.
My tears fall down.
My blood is red.
My flesh is a shell
that holds my weary bones inside.
So tell me,
you who came from your mother's womb.
You who drank the milk
from her breast.
Explain how I am lesser
when your blood runs red,
your tears fall down,
and your bones are wrapped inside.
How am I less human
when you are the monster
comparing what we are made of
and what we hold inside?
Night Terrors (115 Words)I have this reoccurring nightmare; in it I wake up and I’m fifty, I realize that I’ve spent that last twenty some-odd years watching TV shows that weren’t really funny and working at a job that I never cared enough about to hate. In my dream I have a lingering sense of disappointment, but nothing so bad that I end up changing anything in my life.Night Terrors (115 Words)1 week ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Something about the dream always has me wake up in a fit, unable to go back to sleep. Dread loiters in my mind from it, leaving me anxious until I find some way to stifle the thoughts and fall back to sleep.
What’s that all about?