In The Band...If you think its hard to:In The Band...2 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
Carry forty-five pounds of dead weight on one shoulder and stand up straight,
Practice in the heat and perform in the snow,
Get along with 200 people you really love (no, really),
Stand in close proximity to 20 guys hitting drums with everything they've got while bopping your head like you're into it,
Blow until your lungs explode,
Wear and eighty pound wool uniform in the 110 degree heat,
Watch your music and the director while exhaling, moving your fingers, coordinating that with your tongue, tapping your foot, while continuously listening to the other players around you so that you can make one of a thousand adjustments,
Learn several foreign languages (some of which are completely made up),
Maintain good posture while holding a horn and running the 100 yard dash (some players occasionally faltering, thus making it the 100 yard hurdles),
Understanding the subtle differences between "as loud as possible" and "just a little bit louder than that
Don't Mess with the BandDon't mess with the band.Don't Mess with the Band2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
The flutes can make you go deaf.
The timpani will drown you with P5s and P4s.
The trumpets can drown you.
The snare line will tap you to the ground.
The bass drum can bash you.
They have Dr. Beat...
The tuba can just ask you to hold their instrument.
The saxophone can make you hear jazz in your dreams.
They're all very close with the Color Guard (lets face it, you know they scare you...)
The tenors will march you down.
Bass Clarinets make you hears eighth notes over...and over...and over...
The clarinets can replace your chapstick with cork grease.
The Qauds are like tanks.
Cymbals will pinch you.
The trombones...well, they're already intimidating enough already.
The french horns dump spit, sic trombones and trumpets on you and stuff your face in their bells.
All of them can easily march all over you.
Don't mess with the band.