My Knights of SpiritI smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life that care for my being and soul,
One is hot-tempered but gently protective,
Promising a day when he'll cross the oceans to protect me and guide me.
I smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life who have heard my spirit sing,
One is kind, and swore to trials of measure for the sake of my injury,
Always coaxing a laugh from every riddle and answer.
I smile at the thought that I have knights,
The men in my life who worry for me,
It seems that often they become knighted without knowing,
And care about me, despite the distance separating us.
So raise a glass for the knights of my kingdom,
The ones who wait to read my words,
The ones who make me smile when I'm sorrowful,
The ones who make me laugh when it rains,
I raise a glass for them in thanks,
Wishing I could be with them in the flesh,
Rather than spirit.
The Letter My Parents Will Never ReadThe words just slip through my teeth, now,The Letter My Parents Will Never Read3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
They dance out of my throat and coat my tongue,
"I don't like that anymore"
"I'm still the same person"
"I'm not mad at you"
I've gotten so good at lying, now,
I sometimes can't tell when even I'm telling the truth.
"Sure, everything's good"
"See? I'm smiling"
"I haven't had my first kiss"
You know what?
I'm not fine.
I have to hide my heart from my own parents because they don't understand.
I have to pretend that I'm mad at him and have "repented from my ways".
But in reality, I wait to read his words online,
I see his pictures,
I've kept the notes we wrote to each other in secret,
I'm in pain.
I'm hurt and full of longing to see him again,
Because you wouldn't let me be with him for the most idiotic reason,
Part of me hates you,
Part of me loves you,
Part of me is angry and spitting fire,
Part of me is hurt and bleeding.
And the more that you both pretend that ever
MasksWith big smiles she greeted her friends,Masks3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Drowning in the crowd of people.
How many claimed to be her loved ones?
Hundreds? Thousands? She lost count long ago.
They welcomed her with jokes and laughter,
and she replied with hugs and kisses,
Pretending not to see the cracks in their masks
Or the lies in their voices.
She knew they were hiding something,
She heard the whispers behind her back,
Saw the greed behind their smiles,
And sensed their hatred long ago.
And every day she felt another part
Of her soul breaking away.
At night she tried to fix it,
Trying to reattach the broken pieces,
But as the time went by she realized
That the harder she tried, the faster she broke.
And so she continued what she had once started,
Acting cheerful, while breaking apart,
slowly creating her own mask
To hide her true self.
Until one day she met you,
The girl who refused to wear a disguise,
A big grin in your face,
And true kindness in your words.
Your left hand you had outstretched,
In your right you
The Bitter Nightmare/Too Heavy A BurdenRusted daggers flung from their tongues,The Bitter Nightmare/Too Heavy A Burden3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Deep, infected scars reopened,
Tear away the skin above my breast,
And witness my heart's weak thrum.
You, you have made it so,
You poisoned it with your truthful tonic,
Your tampered quotes and encrypted sneers,
Do not twine the needle deeper,
Fling your hair through the seeping blood,
Paint the canvas of my years,
Falling from the chasm's edge,
Releasing my mind from the bitter nightmare,
I watch the sun comb its way through the trees,
And struggle to stand against the bars of home,
My hands and feet chained, a dusty cloth between my teeth,
I wait for the warden's glance,
That moment of fated chance,
Do not tempt me, mad suitor,
I am too heavy a burden for any soul.
Invisible ChildWith arrogant strides they walk along the streets,Invisible Child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Stopping only to gaze at one of
These over-expensive dresses,
Or a necklace made of shining jewels,
Or to buy a sugar cake.
Never once do their eyes meet
The eyes of the little boy
Leaning against the wall of a shop,
Lost in the shadows, huddled in his coat
Covered in holes, trying to fight the cold.
Should they ever face in his direction,
They avert their gazes, some disgusted,
Some a little embarrassed maybe.
But not a word of greeting is said
To the invisible child.
With a sigh he looks down at his hat,
Placed carefully in front of him,
A silent plea for a spare coin,
Unheard, unnoticed. Empty.
No hope for the invisible child.
But, just as he embraces the cold,
A ray of sunlight breaks the darkness,
As a girl bends down towards him,
And into his shivering hands
She carefully places a coin.
Denial.I know I'm in denial,Denial.2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Saying I don't love her.
But I still say it all the while,
Because I have been hurt.
I know I should stop this,
I know I should just face it.
But I can't face up to this,
I can only run away from it.
I know that I still love her,
I would take her back in a heartbeat,
But as I can't have her,
I lie to myself, looking down at my feet.
I know that I still love her,
But Denial is my only friend.
Bitter SweetSo ends a tragedy years in the makingBitter Sweet2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
So many smiles I wasted time faking
Everything now is a bitter sweet end
So is this how we move on my friend
Gotta say I just don't know how you do it
How you amass all the strength to get through it
Aim to commit and alone here I sit and
I'm scared to death, that I'll gladly admit
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Four to go
Five and I wonder
Dead or alive
Six and seven
I'm in heaven~
Humble Mediocrity.I see the truth in your web of lies,Humble Mediocrity.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's hard to see when you use your eyes.
Problem is, I'm a liar too.
I knew exactly where to look for you.
You're living one of your lies,
As you watch through the eyes,
Of humble mediocrity.
I'm here because someone has heard your plea.
You look at me and you scream for help,
Whilst saying nothing at all and not wanting to tell.
But that's not why I came,
I'm here because of what I became.
I came because I know what you can do,
Because I was once someone just like you.
I was once like you, living a lie.
Which is why I'm here - to silence your cry.
I came because you are a danger to me,
As you watch through your humble mediocrity.
Takes one to know one and I like my privacy,
So please forgive me because I am sorry.
As I look into your dead eyes,
With the potential to see through my lies.
I killed you for you saw my grand life as it really is
- Humble Mediocrity.
Without You.And as the blood runs off of this blade,Without You.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And drips out onto this far out glade.
I really wish I'd told you no,
I really wish I had told you "don't go".
And as the tears ran from your eye,
I wish I could've made them dry.
But right now I wish more than anything,
That you were mine, because I am nothing.
The Queen of Bleached RosesI step into the golden shadows,The Queen of Bleached Roses2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Shuffle over this dusty wooden floor,
And catch from the corner of my eye,
A sight of sore remembrance;
There, in that oval-ed mirror,
There is a maiden with her hair aside.
Her eyes are darkened,
Ebony streaks bleed from her bones,
Lips paler than the most tired bleached rose.
Her breath shaking from the winter's bite,
Her skin prickled with anticipation,
I am naught but a husk,
Barely standing from fatigue,
How strange and dead I do appear,
In these golden shadows.
Strong Enough...A shivering breath,Strong Enough...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A chill on the skin,
The continuous twittering of the southern crickets,
And a little girl, curled in her bed.
Just a little brown-headed girl,
All tucked in without a care,
Her dreams take her across the world and under the sea,
With Disney-fied promises of true love and happy endings.
How simple it really was,
Back before that girl became me
She used to fantasize and dream during both turns of the Sun,
And never feared anything or anyone.
She loved both her mother and her father,
Her little baby sister and her pups and kittens,
She loved everything.
She knew nothing.
That little brown-headed girl never knew her mother's bitter heart as well as I do now,
And she never knew her sister would change,
She never knew her father would nearly work himself to death each night,
And she didn't know that money controlled the world.
She never knew that she'd be criticized for her body by others,
For her mind and spirit by her own blood-kin,
She never knew that one day, s
I'm Sorry, In AdvanceIs it my fault that I feel like a fool?I'm Sorry, In Advance3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Handing out my heart to any who'll take it?
Is it my fault that I care for any pain, rather than my own?
Is it my fault for making mistakes and worrying about all opinions?
That I'm worried for your criticism
and that I care what everyone thinks, too much?
I'm not vain or naïve, I'm stressed and insecure .right?
Is there something wrong with me,
That makes me care even if it's not my concern
That makes me feel like I need approval
I crave it I love it .I need it.
And I don't know if it's because there is something wrong with my heart,
Or if I'm just insane,
But I'm sorry if I'm crazy,
And I'm sorry that I don't make sense
I'm sorry that I can't make everyone happy,
And I'm sorry that I feel this way about myself .
Believe me people, my heart and insanity are not worth it,
So carry on, please
The PuppetLike a hollow shell,The Puppet3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A plastered smile,
A painted tongue,
My arms and legs tied tight by wires known to me.
A puppet on their sickly strings,
Vicious masters with poisoned teeth,
Grimace at my show.
"Not good enough puppet!" they bellow.
"Sit straighter, talk faster, be better, behave!"
After months of performances,
I am tossed into a corner.
My strings tangling, choking my porcelain throat.
Seeing my tears, the blood masters spit,
"Your pain isn't real,
It's all in your head!
You've not a dime in your hands,
And you're practically dead,
But don't worry, puppet" They smile toothily.
"You're always allowed to be yourself."
I'm Unsure...I pound my hands against my knees,I'm Unsure...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Curled up on my sinking bed,
Pillows crammed behind my back,
And the crystal screen glaring before me
A mirror within a mirror,
Onyx lettering returned and sent,
How can I explain how I am,
If even I'm not sure?
I've gone so long feeling dependent on words,
Memories and hopeless, countless dreams,
The pain is nearly healed,
And I don't know how I feel
Am I stunned because someone cares,
Shocked that I found a "cure"?
Speechless because I can't believe,
I'm freed from myself, it's over?
Even my lustful heart's not sure
And even now as I bitterly stare,
At the squared writings and caring concerns of another,
I am not sure of myself
How am I do say how I am,
If even I'm not sure?
No one would miss me...It's the same thing that drives me to suicide nearly every night,No one would miss me...3 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
It's the same thing that gives my enemies such evil delight.
It's the same thing that gives my lover such a fright,
It's the same evil thought that I am thinking tonight.
Even you reader, would you miss me if I left?
If I just stopped writing poetry, left this account bereft?
Would anyone, anywhere, miss me if I left?
If I left for good, because with a blade I am deft.
No one would miss me...
No reason to, no one loves me.
No reason to, no one even likes me.
It's just a fact that no one would miss me.
When fairy tales end.It's ok to pull the coversWhen fairy tales end.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and put your dreams to rest.
To let go of fantasies discovered
and quit wishing for the best.
To seize wasting time on yesterday
and give up on whats a new.
To hold the shattered mirror
and at the scattered view.
It's alright to bleed out slowly
thats all that counts.
And let go of broken promises
that only brought you doubt.
To cry alone is useless
so dont shed another tear.
After all, the monsters,
wont be your greatest fear.
It's ok just close your eyes
and dont bother to defend.
Even fairy tales once beautiful
shall come to a simple end.
The Hectic DreamThe moon took flight,The Hectic Dream3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The stars did dance,
And did masquerade across the sky,
And I closed my eyes.
Sleeping so fondly,
So softly and quickly,
I dreamt of a production that frightened my spirit.
Beside me was the man I last loved,
He placed his arm around me firm and tapped his fingers impatiently.
Leaning towards him,
I could not smell him,
He held no warmth no longer
Upon escaping the haunted theater,
I dreamt of tall ivory house at the end of a river,
I was running from my family, and swam in the river
And through several odd wooden structures created to keep me near to shore.
Near the house, I was under attack,
By soulless men and lifeless corpses,
In painted boats that held barely one,
A man reached out his hand to save me.
We barely escaped inside the boat,
Before a blonde sorceress pulled me into the deep.
I had had enough of this hectic dream,
I pulled myself awake in the dream, and choked her,
Until her skin was gray and her mouth agape.
Swimming up to the surface,
I want to dieI'll slit my throat from ear to ear,I want to die4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'll watch your party from hell, as you cheer.
"You okay?" I shake my head.
I hate my life, I want to drop down dead.
I wonder if she'd care if I died.
No, probably not, she knows I lied.
I wonder if anyone would.
No, probably not, everyone thinks I should.
Tell a girl you like her, she'll smile and kiss you.
Tell a girl you like her, she'll smile and play with you.
Tell a girl you love her, she'll freeze and then leave.
Tell a girl you love her, she'll crush your heart, no reprieve.
When a girl says she loves you, when she knows she shouldn't.
It always confuses me, they always know I couldn't.
They back away slowly, scared of what might come next.
They back away slowly, knowing that was best left unsaid.
They love me, and yet they back away?
They love me, and yet they look away?
If they really loved me, surely they'd hug me, kiss me.
If they really loved me, surely they'd look at me, smile at me.
I don't know what goes through girl's minds.
Our Poor JesterOur poor Jester bit off more than she could chew,Our Poor Jester2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I suppose it was inevitable, being the human in the crew.
It happens to all of us, and we all must start anew,
But still, our poor poor Jester, you have us, your crew.
Now I know you might not want a Reaper's comforts,
And well, even despite my best efforts.
The touch of death is hardly the greatest of comforts,
Even though an Angel's pity is one of the sweetest of desserts.
Callous hands and callous ways, coupled with a callous tongue,
I cannot help but feel I'm to blame, at least if only for some.
Please know, none of it was intended, I never tried to depress you,
Guys, it looks like our poor Jester has bit off more than she can chew.
Don't worry though Riddle, we have people to take care of you,
The perfect person, an Angel for comfort, and of course Sarah too.
Our poor poor Jester has bitten off more than she can chew...
But as long as we have breath in our lungs, we will look after you.
The Clockwork Doll's ReflectionThe clockwork doll stumbles home,The Clockwork Doll's Reflection3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She cries oil on her bed,
Falling to the floor she splits her side,
And pulls out her broken heart.
It's large but rusted,
Hardened and dark,
Thorns have grown around it,
A weed with one red bud.
Gasping she fingers the bud,
Its beauty precious and young,
How can something so beautiful,
Bring so much torment and pain?
Placing her heart back in her chest,
She seals the seams and stands,
In the mirror, a human girl cries,
Her brown hair draping down across her arms.
Around her on the floor,
Are scattered papers and sketches.
Swinging from her hand,
Is a ring on a cord.
The clockwork doll steps towards the mirror,
And places her silver hand on the glass,
From inside the mirror,
The human girl sniffs, and sighs,
Smiling up at her half-heartedly,
She's DoneShe's DoneShe's Done3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She was the girl everyone thought was a bit strange.
She didn't let anyone in.
She kept to herself, so no feelings were hurt.
She wasn't happy, but she plastered that smile on her face.
She knew what was right but she kept herself from it.
Something held her back.
In the back of her mind, she knew she would just get hurt.
So, maybe she's afraid to fall without being caught.
Maybe she doesn't want to take a chance because she is done.
She is done with the hurt; she is done with the tears.
She can't do it anymore.
No matter how hard she tries, she is left hurt.
She is left crying.
She is left with no hope left in her.
You'll Never Catch MeThere,You'll Never Catch Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the center of the prison,
Sways a starved young woman.
She drifts side to side,
Swinging from her rusted manacles.
"You'll never catch me, my dears," she sings,
"You'll never capture my soul,"
"As long as I still breathe, my dears,"
"My spirit will be whole!"
She chuckles and sighs,
Tears in her eyes,
Staining her irises red,
This acrobatic game she plays,
Fills her veins with lead.
"I will stay here, however long, and you will never see,"
"I can sing, here, in my cell,"
"But, my dears, you'll never catch me!"
You call it Judgement, We call it SinEmily needs the words to understand that she isn't being unreasonable. She just wants them to mean something and not be a string of words which flows into itself over and over again.You call it Judgement, We call it Sin2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
She doesn't like her name either. Not because Emily isn't a pretty name but because she would rather be called something she feels like. (She has never quite forgiven her parents for choosing her name for her.) If she could, she would call herself Glass, because that is what she wakes up feeling like every morning. As if crystallised pieces of glass are edible and her insides tingle as she swallows them whole.
Emily lets the words call her names sometimes. She writes them on her knees so that she can remember them. Sometimes the words call her a whore, and sometimes stupid, and sometimes a loser and sometimes a tramp (She has never learnt that loving too much is a crime and boys with pretty eyes sometimes lie.). She sits in the bathroom with a pen the colour of blood and writes them carefully
Pros and Cons1. I am not writing a list of things that will make me hate you, as you supposed, but more a list that would help me move on. I always hated how you were very practical that way, even about emotional distress. I am not writing about the trouble with you being your incorrigible logic, your lack of tact.Pros and Cons1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
2. I am not writing this because I have a habit of doing what you say, and perhaps, just maybe this would give me closure.
3. I am not going to write about how beautiful your mouth is, and how it seems like something that would have been kisses by an angel.
4. I am not going to write about how your voice tremors when you speak of loneliness.
5. I am not going to write about how you are worthy of songs and dances and plays to be written for your lack of wonder at war, sex or alcohol, you aren’t that interesting.
6. I am not going to write about the day you sat me down and dragged me down with you, just so you could complain about how much I loved angel wings and sketches of pretty e
you know when it's time to go onshe died a long time ago.you know when it's time to go on3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
her faceless figure turned
and gave you an invisible smile,
then pulled down her hood and
let the rain smear her image away.
it was quick and she probably didn't feel it.
you stood, dumbfounded at the corner
as her cab pulled away from the curb
and into the oncoming traffic.
she died today.
but it feels like she's been gone for so much longer.