Devil Take the Hindmost: Cliff Notes VersionRaoul: If you think you're going to force my trophy wife into another creepy tryst with you, then you've got another thing coming, buddy.Devil Take the Hindmost: Cliff Notes Version2 years ago in Humor More Like This
Erik: Your wife is an airhead and so I may manipulate her however I please. Also, you are drunk.
Raoul: Yeah? Well, you're ugly.
Erik: You're broke.
Raoul: You're REALLY ugly.
Erik: You have no testicles.
Raoul: Every time I look at you, I throw up in my mouth a little
Erik: Yes, but YOU are broke. I on the other hand, am conveniently and mysteriously wealthy despite the fact that a masked criminal showcasing his madness in such a flamboyantly French way would, under any other circumstances, attract the attention of the NYPD, who would, in turn, seize his assets and toss him in the loony bin. But alas, I am wealthy, and you are not. This puts me in a convenient position to further this turd of a plot by making a bet with you that could potentially resolve your debts.
Raoul: Hmm...well, I do like making bets. Because I have no testicles.
Little Mer BoyLittle Mer Boy3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Inspired by Daekazu's deviation: http://fav.me/d3akoj4 Go see it fav it and comment!
A small face peered around a smooth stone pillar. Hands placed upon the cold surface that had been smoothed by the tides of many generations held eagerly. Even the salt in the water had done little to mar the surface of the stone. Blue hair whisked around his head, as the boy pulled his head back against the large column. The hallway was lined with them. All the paths of the palace was decorated with the supporting cylinders of stone. The palace was surly a site to see, though few had, unless you could breath in water. For this was the city of Atlantis, the residence of the ruling family of the merfolk and keepers of the sea.
"ah come on! There's no one here, lets go out already." an even smaller face said besides the boy who had peered cautiously. The little figure swam up, keeping a steady plac
The Avengers - Stony EngagementThe Avengers - Stony Engagement2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It was Steve's birthday. They already had a small party with all the Avengers and closest friends, seen the fireworks, and now Tony and Steve had some private time for themselves. It was an important day for both of them. But for two different reasons.
The light was dim. There was no music, only silence. Some wine and two glasses on the table. They were sitting on the couch and Steve was unwrapping his gifts. Tony planned 18 gifts. One for every month he knew Steve. Firstly, he wanted to give him one for every day, because he could afford it, but later realized that Steve wouldn't like it. So he decided on 18, instead of 15 for every month they spent as a couple.
Tony got him varied gifts. Some were purely for fun, like erotic lingerie, which made Tony snicker and Steve blush, some more fancy, in Tony's style, like an expensive watch, and some were down-to-earth, like woolen socks. Steve joked that as far he likes the socks the most, because you can never have enough of socks, and he d
How the Angel of Music Got His WingsChristine: Oh! I'm so lonely and despondent because my lone parental unit has died, rendering me yet another pitiable example of Victorian orphan-dom. I am going to sit here in my dressing room scantily clad in the flickering candlelight whilst my bosom heaves with my sobs of despair.How the Angel of Music Got His Wings2 years ago in Humor More Like This
Erik: Hush, young woman!
Christine: *gasp* What was that? Who are you?
Erik: It is I, a conveniently disembodied, ethereal voice coming from the general vicinity of your mirror. I noticed you are sitting in your dressing room scantily clad in the flickering candlelight whilst your bosom heaves with your sobs of despair. I wish to--
Christine: *gasp: Oh! It's you!
Erik: ......I beg your pardon?
Christine: Oh, I knew you'd come! I knew you would! Father promised you would!
Erik: .....Forgive me, have we met?
Christine: Well, no, not yet, but we were destined to! Father said, "When I am in heaven child, I will send you the Angel of Music!" Well, Father is dead, and now I am being visited by the Angel of Musi
Don't Disturb the Water Part 1The Company of Thorin Oakenshield was not but a few days outside of the Shire when the midsummer’s heat began to take a toll on them. The sun’s radiation would turn each of the dwarves’ heavy coats into ovens by high noon each day. Poor Bilbo Baggins was dripping with sweat as well. The heat was so excruciating that the ponies were beginning to slow down, and Gandalf was beginning to notice.Don't Disturb the Water Part 11 year ago in Romance More Like This
Then one scorching afternoon, a very weary Kili noticed something in the distance. He was wiping the thick beads of sweat from his forehead and strands of sticky brown hair from his eyes when he saw a glimmer in the distance through the thick trees. He pulled his pony off of the dirt trail the Company was following so that he could get a good look at what he saw. As he peered closer through the trees, he spotted sparkling streams of falling water. Fili, who was just as weary as Kili, had been following him very close when he noticed Kili pull off to the side of the trail. He, too,
The Phantom of the Opera TranslatedSubliminal messages abound in The Phantom of the Opera. Some are so entwined in such carefully constructed, phallic metaphors, that it may be difficult to sift through the passionate web of angst and decipher the lyrics' true meanings. So here, for your clarity, I have provided a translation of some of the musical's most elaborate lyrics. The original lyrics will be italicized, while the translations will not. It is my desire that your next viewing of Phantom should be an enlightened one, and my sincerest hope that these translations will clear up any confusion.The Phantom of the Opera Translated2 years ago in Humor More Like This
"The Phantom of the Opera"
In sleep he sang to me
(I thought this guy was, like, fake )
In dreams he came
( because caped, masked crusaders supposedly only exist in dreams but, hey, what do you know? There he is right there. Huh.)
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
(I am clearly too gullible to realize that the only reason this man knows my name is because he is a glorified sta
The Lost Boy part 1The Lost BoyThe Lost Boy part 12 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
He was wild and untamed; faster than anything they had ever seen. His laughter echoed through the streets and alleyways; unbridled and full of life, it resonated with the joy of living.
This was only the second time they had actually gotten a glimpse of him. The three brothers said not a word when they finally saw the flash of orange that proved they were not pursuing a phantom. Together they gave chase, fanning out in an attempt to box him into a corner somewhere.
They might as well have been after a will-o-the-wisp. It came to the eldest then that he was probably playing with them; giving the three mutant turtles a glimpse of a form exactly like their own before darting out of sight again. Only once did he truly stop long enough for them to confirm what they had guessed.
After two hours of endless pursuit that left them grasping nothing, the brothers conceded defeat and turned towards home. This night, like many in the last few weeks, was less of a patrol a
No Apology NeededNo Apology Needed2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
No Apology Needed
(psst - I don't write death fics)
Raph's family stood around him as he lay strapped to the cot. They could see that he was suffering; his fever high, color off, and eyes glazed with pain. Don held the hypodermic that would end his brother's life in a shaking hand, but couldn't bring himself to administer the drug.
"Don," Leo whispered, looking up at his brother.
He had offered to give Raph what was in essence a lethal injection; he considered it his place to do so as the leader. Don refused the gesture; he had been Raph's doctor far too long to relinquish this final commitment.
"How long?" Mikey croaked in a voice totally unlike his own.
Don glanced at the clock. "Four hours. He's lasted longer than the humans who've been bitten."
Master Splinter set a soothing hand to his son's hot forehead. "He is very strong."
Taking that as a sign to wait a bit longer, Don looked down at Raph's face, trying to remain clinical and detached. Of course it wasn't possible; this
Viand part 5 FinalViand part 5 Final2 years ago in Horror More Like This
part 5 Final
Quickly grabbing a katana from the sheath on Leo’s back, Don turned to where he thought the wall was, swimming with the point of the blade pointed outwards. He soon felt something rubbery touch the tip of the sword and thrust the sharp metal into it as hard as he could.
Slicing at the walls as fast as possible, Don ripped apart the slime tube they were in. The fluid began spilling out and soon he found himself standing on the tunnel floor with pieces of the tube draped over him.
“What the shell happened?” Raph yelled from nearby, coughing and shoving aside sections of the tube.
“Leo!” Mikey yelled as he crawled towards them on his hands and knees.
Don yanked the rest of the tube out of the way as he rushed back to his injured brother. Mikey reached him first and turned Leo onto his side, then proceeded to lightly pound on his carapace.
“He got knocked out,” Don said, falling to his knees in front of Leo. “That la
Viand part 1Viand part 12 years ago in Horror More Like This
"Oh shell, my aching head," Mikey said as he sat up. "Did anyone get the number of the bus that hit us?"
"Whatever it was, I owe it a beat down," Raph snarled, rising up on his knees. He waited until his head stopped reeling before attempting to stand.
Leo was on his feet already, leaning against a wall for support. It wasn't very solid, but it was stable enough to hold him until his balance returned.
"Don, are you okay?" Leo asked.
"Yeah, I'm good," Don answered as he waited for his double vision to clear. He was lying in a puddle and when the smell finally registered, he pushed himself into a sitting position quickly. "Yuck," he said, sniffing at his arm.
"What is this stuff?" Mikey asked, gaining his feet. "It smells rank."
"Yeah, kinda like ya' do when ya' forget your deodorant," Raph said with a grin.
Mikey gave Raph a dirty look. "Leo, Raph said I stink," Mikey said in protest. "Do I stink?"
"Raph, stop picking on Mikey," Leo said, only half paying attention.
In the WebIn the Web2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
In the Web
Raphael and Donatello were in the garage working on a large air compressor that they had brought back from the junkyard. Parts were spread out over the worktable in front of them as they salvaged pieces from several different units in an attempt to build one good machine.
"Hand me that flat head screwdriver would you, Raph?" Don asked without taking his eyes off of the motor he was holding.
As Raph passed it over they both heard the elevator doors slide open. Don didn't bother to look up, too engrossed in his task, but Raph glanced around and saw Leo coming towards them.
"Have you guys seen Mikey?" Leo asked; a look of deep concern on his face.
The tone of his oldest brother's voice brought Don's head up. "Not since he left to get cat food," Don informed him.
"What's wrong?" Raph asked as Leo's expression took him from relaxed to alert in a matter of seconds.
Leo shook his head, saying, "He's been gone for over two hours and he isn't answering his shell cell."
Dirt Beneath the CobblesDirt Beneath the Cobbles2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
London did not make itself an easy city to love; Christina knew that better than most. Keeping her eyes fixed to the cobbles underfoot, she forced herself to ignore the flood of people crowding into the streets, focusing on following the map tucked away in her memory. The 'In-Between' ran across the bridges of London. An area where the nobility could be found, braving the fetid air drifting across from the slums, gawking at the poor, worthless people who fell into the wrong side of London.
Pulling the rim of her hat lower Christina shrugged past the well dressed sightseers, slipping into the maze of narrow alleyways and filthy terraces which made up the slims. Sidestepping beggars; who huddled in doorways with outstretched palms, she gripped onto her collar, hiding behind the discoloured leather as she moved quickly. Here was where the unsavoury were kept out of sight. The laws set by men like Christina's father forbid those 'of less than pleasing appearance' to step onto the far banks
Nature Transformation FAQ (Update: Asukai Note)What is Nature Transformation?Nature Transformation FAQ (Update: Asukai Note)1 year ago in Settings More Like This
Every shinobi has access to nature transformation, it's a form of Ninjutsu that takes their chakra,
and transforms it into an element or form to increase it's attacking strength and lethality.
The Relationships of the 5 Chakra Natures.
There are five chakra natures, and each shinobi in Tōrōgakure is born with an affinity to one,
however, when a shinobi reaches Jōnin, they can learn a second Nature once they master their first.
The only exception is the Elementalist Specialty, which allows a user to learn two or more chakra natures.
The five Chakra Natures are Fire (火), Wind (風), Lightning (雷), Earth (土), and Water (水).
Please note: Custom natures (ex: Black fire, ice, etc) are not attainable via standard natures.
Having a water nature does not give you access to ice/snow/steam/boiling techniques.
One must be an Elementalist to achieve a
Learning The HardWay A Korra Fan FicLearning The HardWay A Korra Fan Fic2 years ago in Settings More Like This
"Katara I need to learn bloodbending" said Korra barging into her mentor's room at the air temple. On behalf of her son Tenzin Katara had come to Republic City to help with Tarlock. Looking up from her scrolls the wizened old woman sighed heavily, she knew this was coming. Ever since she met Korra as a chid she knew one day the budding Avatar would want to learn blood bending one day and the knowledge had sat heavily in her heart ever since day one.
"Korra...bloodbending can be a blessing and a curse" she began to say when the furious girl interrupted her "I know i know I know but Katara I have never been so helpless in my life! I could still kick the crap out of Chi blockers when they take my bending but I can't fight back when someone else controls my body!" she raged slamming her fist against the wall a burst of fire emitting from it.
Katara closed her eyes for a moment and the memories flooded back to her like a torrential down pour. She remembered Hama and learning to blood bend.
20 ways to annoy Kagome1. Make fun of her school uniform as she is never in school.20 ways to annoy Kagome9 years ago in Humor More Like This
2. Call her over by saying, "Hey Kik...I mean Kagome!"
3. Tell her she can't be around anyone because of her random diseases. (*snicker* Kagome=diseases, No Kagome=No Inuyasha)
4. Invite Kikyo over for a "visit". (GO KIKYO!! KICK HER...Erm...BUTT!!)
5. Talk about Inuyasha and Kikyo's relationship and how they're "meant to be". (*snicker*...*wink wink*)
6. Numerously mention the incident where she broke the shikon jewel. (And then she'll flip and kick your.........Butt...)
7...Suggestively point out its all her fault. (It's so true though...)
8. Say this when Inuyasha is around, "So I heard you and Hojo are going on a date", even though it's not true. (Laughs evilly)
9. Ask her if she tapes her skirt to herself as it never moves! (Honestly does anyone else notice this? I think she uses duct tape or something)
10. Yell, "Kagome!! I accidentally blew up the well!...Do you mind?" (Eh...She would not be able to get home...That's n
My Thoughts on Queen ChrysalisAnd now we come to the last of my character discussions with the Queen of the changelings, Chrysalis.My Thoughts on Queen Chrysalis2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Right from the start I feel that I should say that this character was effective in her reveal because I honestly wasn't expecting this character to be who she ultimately turned out to be. When I first heard that the plot of "A Canterlot Wedding" was going to involve Princess Cadence in some way having "a dark secret", what I imagined happening was that she was going to turn out to be some sort of villain with a typical villainous plan. And at first that was exactly what I was seeing, Cadence doing evil things and then declaring that she does indeed have some plan in mind.
So at this point the story was going exactly as I predicted. But then part two pulled the rug right from under me by revealing the real Princess Cadence in the caves with Twilight. I was genuinely shocked. I had not thought of the possibility that the Cadence I'd been watching was some sort of impostor. And so, when C
20 ways to annoy Miroku1. Ask him how babies are made.20 ways to annoy Miroku9 years ago in Humor More Like This
2. ..When and if he explains, look mortified and cry.
3. When he asks you to bear his child (that is if you're female) laugh in his face.
4. ..Proceed by looking shocked and asking "Oh! You were serious?! Oops."
5. Point in a random direction and say "Look naked women!!!!!"
6. Ask him why he wears a dress...when he answers, ask again.
7. While he's sleeping (She starts a lot of these with those words) give him a makeover.
8. While he's in the hot springs steal his clothes.
9. ..for a good laugh leave him only Kagome's skirt.
10. Tell him you know Inuyasha wouldn't mind bearing his child (chuckles evilly)
11. After he gropes someone and gets slapped, look at his cursed hand and say "Maybe Naraku had the right idea."
12. Sing "Miroku and Sango sittin' in a tree..."
13. Tell him you think his staff is huge....so he must be compensating for something.
14. Accuse him of being gay....insist his womanizing must be a cover-up.
15. Tell him the wind tunnel doesn'
MLP episodes I'd like to seeAs you all know, I've had plenty of ideas over the last year or so regarding potential story possibilities for MLP. Because of this, I've decided to put them all together into one big list. Here then are my ideas for MLP episodes I'd like to see at some point. In no particular order.MLP episodes I'd like to see2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1 - A Scootaloo episode:
As I said back in my analysis of the CMC, Scootaloo has had the least development out of all of the younger pony characters. And that's a shame because there seems to be plenty that we can do with her. For example, she is a pegasi that cannot fly. That alone could be the basis for a great story. We could have an episode where she feels like an outcast, the only pegasi of her age who is incapable of flight. We could see her trying to cope with it or even have it be something she's ashamed of.
We could even have that be the reason why she has Rainbow Dash be her personal hero. RD is, after all, one of the most accomplished fliers in Ponyville, so it makes sense that Scootaloo, who ca
Another DaySplinter smiled as he carefully carried the bag filled with groceries down to the lair. He was happy he managed to get the carton, knowing his sons needed the protein.Another Day1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
Just as he got inside, he was surprised his youngest was awake, darting up to him with tears in his eyes. “Michelangelo, what has happened?” he asked gently, being careful not to be too loud so his brothers would not wake.
“Raphie and Lelo and Donnie kicked me out..” he said with a muffled sob, “dey take my yellow..and I be by myself...I awone...”
Splinter frowned was puzzled, “Yellow? They took your yellow crayon? You’re awone?” he tried repeating, hoping to get his son to clarify as he carried the bag to the kitchen.
“No daddy, dey take my yellow!!” Mikey said, his voice rising slightly, still sniffling, his blue eyes filled with tears, “and I be awone...I cole...”
“My son, I do not understand. What is your yellow?” Splinter final
20 ways to annoy Inuyasha1. Yell, "Look its Kouga!" then laugh when he looks.20 ways to annoy Inuyasha9 years ago in Humor More Like This
2. Call him kitty man (^_^)
3. Constantly try to play with his ears.
4. Tell him you "accidentally" handed the Tetsaiga over to Sesshoumaru.
5. Play "keep away" with tetseiga.
6. Pants him (hehehe)
7. ...then ask him why he doesn't have a tail
8. Try to get him to do tricks for "treats".
9. Throw a stick and tell him to fetch.
10. Stare at him (he seems to hate when people do that).
11. Whistle when you call him.
12. Tell him "Due to economy...Kagome can't bring you anymore ramen...ever."
13. While he's asleep scream "Oh my god!!!! its Naraku!"
14. While he's fighting (with whomever), glomp him.
15. While he's asleep (again) spike his hair.
16. Disagree with EVERYTHING he says.
17. Sing "who let the dogs out"
18. When he's unconscious paint his claws...scary colors. (I would paint them hot pink and neon yellow)
19. Force him to dance with you.
20. Whenever he mentions Kikyo make disgusting gagging noises (*choke*…*gag*…*throwing up s
Good Morning"Good Morning"Good Morning11 months ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I read those two words aloud
Imagining your voice
Your lips whispering
Them gently into my ear
And then I'd smile
And say "Good Morning" too
As I'd let myself remember
Just how much i loved you
But now I look down
And all I see are two measly words
Sent from your fingers
Instead of your lips.
And while I tell myself
Those two words are enough
That your love and mine
Can traverse a hundred miles
A thousand miles
And still appear just as strong
Just as pure
And I worry, I fear
That my love may not
Be enough to keep you happy
And that one day
Just the memory of you
Won't be enough
To keep my tears away.
And every time I think that
Every time I let my worries attack
I feel my heart begin to break
Because in my heart
You're becoming someone
I can't live without
Even though I already am
And while it might be
The best way to save my heart
I don't want to say "Goodbye"
So I'll just say "Good Morning"
And wait for your reply.
Lips Can Lie... So Lie To MeWaiting...Lips Can Lie... So Lie To Me7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your touch on my skin is torture
Without the truth to back it up
And yes, lips can lie
But you said that you wouldn't
And this is just a sinking ship
And you know that I can't swim
Caught up in the current...
And I will sink down
Down to your level
This is more than lustful desire
This a deep yearning
An ache for something more
The mourning beat of my heart thuds on
And my chest will break if this happiness continues to reverbrate within my ribcage
But the beat is bein smothered;
You don't want me
The way that I need you
You said you'd tell the truth
But there is a lie upon your lips
...... So lie to me
Strangers Who Once KissedSix months ago I didn't think that I would be crossing the street just to avoid asking 'How are you?'Strangers Who Once Kissed5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
Two years ago, I knew with such innocent clarity that never a day would go by that your name wouldn't cross my lips.
But the unthinkable has come to pass, and I see you hurrying down the sun dappled avenue, towards the tube station where you will be lost forever, and I turn the other way.
You've seen me.
Of course you have seen me.
Our eyes have met across tumbling leaves and autumn chills, we have paused, locked, the wind tugging at our coats trying to make us turn away.
And I do
I can see in your disappointed face that I have turned my eyes away from you, the whites of them sparking with recognition, but the centre, the bit that matters, flickers away in deliberate ignorance. The world has slowed around us whilst we pause, but as I offer you my shoulder reality catches up with us. A shoulder that was never before turned coldly to
My Thoughts on RarityAnd now we come to our resident Fashionista, Rarity.My Thoughts on Rarity2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
As you may remember from my previous entry, Rarity was another character I had issue with when I first started watching the show. However, my reasons for disliking her at the start were very different from the reasons I disliked Pinkie. In fact, looking back on the matter, my reasons for being against her seem almost petty, and something I'm no proud of.
You see, when I first started watching this show, I was assured that it wasn't the stereotypically girly show that it was back in the 80's. That all the tea parties, dresses and makeovers that characterised female-aimed cartoons had been exorcised completely in favour of something more gender-neutral and less likely to alienate one group or the other.
So with that mindset, I started watching. As you can imagine, when I first laid eyes on Rarity, heard her speak, saw what she was about at the start, I felt betrayed. This was exactly the kind of character I'd been told would not be in