Streams of consciousnessskinny jeans skinny jeans skinny jeans for
k but i am TALL and w i d e and heavy
i and big big bigger than the rest
n in my clothes n0T FiTtINg hiding hiding [hide yourself]
y people s
trustis gone can't talk to katie cat scratches katie scratches
e double agent lies lies lies to me stole my secret mine mine MINE but not anymore
n j mad k mad mom and dad mad i am mad and all alone
d [no one looking in the shadows: see that i am all alone]
CathieSalt-and-pepper hair contrasts sharply with the crisp, starched pillow;Cathie2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bone-thin arms resemble bed rails--
tears in my arms, the morphine drip in your vein.
My inner rage refutes your calm acceptance.
You ask if we are waiting for you to die: no.
We are waiting for a miracle,
we are waiting for you to heal--
We are waiting for something that will not happen.
We are stretching for something that is out of reach.
We are holding onto our obsolete hopes, the small fragments of our lives
so closely, we cannot see the bigger picture
In a paradox, God is calling you clearly,
but we can't seem to hear His voice--
only the silence ringing in our ears
as the monitor stops
your breathing ceases
your face un-creases--
and, for the first time in years,
you run Home.
BipolarYour gentle gaze like razor bladesBipolar3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Both cut me to the core
The shadows hide the lines you've crossed
Yet still I'm craving more
You're never who you seem to be
I don't know who you are
One moment you're the one I know
The next so very far
This dream in which we used to live
Uncertain now and bleak
Breathtaking as the cloudbreak is
Still havoc storms do wreak
My wild nightmare never ends
I cannot seem to wake
I'm desperate to find escape
Before I finally break
It's not you it's me I say
As hollow as it rings
No longer can I weather this
High time to test my wings
The words fall like an icy rain
Chilling, sharp, but true
Yet though I try to end it here
I'm still falling for you
Mimicrymildewed [ghosts]Mimicry2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
haunt the c.r.a.c.k.s in the w do not
l their voices
InvocationSpeak through me, Muse, and sing me the taleInvocation3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of that girl unskilled in the ways of the world--
The intrepid wanderer,
Seeking truth for years on end,
Oblivious to the dynamics around her
As others talk with their eyes and dance with their words.
Many the nights she's lain awake,
Living the hurts of her friends, powerless to help.
Trying to save the world
When she can't even save herself.
She wrote dark storms of words
And ascertained the deceptive nature of journals.
She lied to others and she lied to herself.
She learned that sharp words leave scars,
Struggling each day to open her eyes
And walk toward the light;
Yet despite her best intentions, sometimes she strayed:
But hands were there to guide her back to the path,
And hearts were there to share her pain.
Growing and changing and coming to see
That she didn't have to understand humanity to be human--
She doesn't have to earn love to be loved,
And angels can hide in the oddest of places.
Of these trials and tribulatio
Losing steamI am fifteenLosing steam3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but my body and
are not mine.
I have scars on my arms
and memories of dark beauty--
bitter beads of blood
slide the knife
unzip my skin
and step outside--
who would I be
and how would I look?
perhaps I'm hollow?
underneath all this--
I'm not actually real?
maybe I was never here
just a dream
or was it a nightmare?
everybody wants me to
act my age
but I'm fifteen
so God only knows what that means.
not a child
not so innocent
not an adult
still too young.
I have to learn to talk to adults
and make phone calls to strangers
and manage my money
and drive a car.
I have to take care of the twins
teach them and protect them
and still be their friend.
I have to grow up soon
but i don't know if I'm ready...
Safeshe tells me that they stole her wordsSafe3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
marked them in red and wrung them out dry
leaving her shockingly [bare]
so she took up her -sharpest- pen
and she c a r v e d out her words
[close to her heart they'll be safe]
Catch me if you canI’m the anorexic at the local gym whom everybody watches but nobody looks at.Catch me if you can3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I’m the bulimic at school whom everybody pretends not to know about.
I’m the girl in your gym class with too many scars to be telling the truth.
I’m the kid with her head down in the library who is always “fine.”
I’m the boy who 'fell down the stairs'...again.
I’m the child who doesn't show up for school lunch because it's too expensive.
I’m the teenager living a double life in front of your very eyes.
Catch me if you can.
Lucidall this time she's seemed so nearLucid3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
her angel face you hold so dear
she'll find you in that darkest time
her eyes will speak sans reason, rhyme
in time you will remember things
of birds and bones and broken wings
of deadly secrets, shattered dreams
things left unsaid and silent screams
with open heart and open mind
stand in the rain and you will find
that healing lies in these things true
and to remember changes you
ControlControl is everything. Self-control, that is. Control how you act, what you say, what goes into your body, and maybe — just maybe — you'll be able to control you are. Power is addictive; my drug of choice, but it comes at a cost. You see, what you don't learn until it's too late? Sooner or later, the need for control — controls you.Control3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Generally, I’m a good kid. I pay attention in school, earning the high grades that decorate my report cards. I may not be especially popular, but I certainly have friends. I usually do as I’m told, don’t flagrantly disobey rules, and I try hard to please people. I retrace my steps in my mind, searching for the slip — the fall — that landed me here, on this cool, clammy table, wearing not much more than a requisite thin gown.
A crisp knock on the heavy wooden door to the exam room startles me, bringing my attention back to my predicament at hand. After
In the interest of full disclosurei am not the person you thinkIn the interest of full disclosure2 years ago in Letters More Like This
and you will realize that all too soon.
i am not what people have built me up to be
and i am destroying myself in trying to measure up.
i am not interesting.
if i were a puzzle, all of my pieces
would be careworn with age and wear
colors dull and muted--
a picture prosaically familiar;
there is nothing pretty to look at here.
i am not beautiful. i am not the kind of person
that they write about,
stories and poems that make you cry.
i am not strange enough to be special,
but i am not normal enough to fit in.
i am not fragile enough to engender support,
but i am not strong enough to help myself
let alone those who are foolish enough to rely on me.
i am not a delicate collectible
that people wish to adopt
and call my problems their own.
i am a dusty cliché
that has seen better days.
let me be clear:
i am none of these things.
i am not.
Wake-up callwhen you're drowning in an ocean of sad thoughts,Wake-up call2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you don't trip out onto the beach:
sooner or later, the waves will sweep you off your feet
and you will be unprepared
when the waters close over your head.
instead, you take a deep breath
and say your prayers
and you dive in.
the quickest way to learn to swim
is to have no other choice.
Chainedi see it in your eyes i see the fading of the lightChained3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
i see it in your stance i see you're giving up the fight
it's not the end so don't you dare consider giving in
keep your chin up let it show this time they will not win
they cannot keep you down can't see that you're too strong to bend
they say that you are breaking but i say that wounds will mend
love can heal a broken heart and faith can form a shield
against the sharp and cutting words of those who'd see you yield
for they are wrong and we are strong enough to find the light
don't fear the darkness closing in i'll see you through this night
don't be afraid to come to me if you need help to stand
proud and strong you'll prove them wrong i offer you my hand
i will be there for you always have been always will
though they may say that no one loves you i will stay with you until
the end of time please listen close you mean the world to me
i cannot stand to see you chained please let me set you free
Disengage[in some vague fashion]Disengage3 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
she was aware of the i m p e n d i n g blow
but time seemed irrelevant [at the moment]:
struck by a strange--elegance?--
as his palm descended [with all the grace
of a tree felled by lightning];
the m.e.a.s.u.r.e.d, deliberate fall,
almost majestic in its resignation--
c u l m i n a t i n g with
a CRACK of thunder and
a bolt of pain.
TransienceTime travel invented after death? Figures.Transience2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Flickeryou've fireflies for eyes [[all lies]]Flicker2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
december 2010i am not hungry. i am not hungry. no breakfast. no lunch. no snack. no dinner. zero zero zerodecember 20102 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. food is bad. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't.
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. must not eat. will not eat. cannot eat. do not eat.
resolution for today: i will not eat.
Lesson learnedShe fell first, and scraped herself up on impact.Lesson learned2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
By the time you were ready to let to and trust that she would catch you,
she was no longer there.
She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and moved the fuck on,
because she's stronger than you.
And you were left holding the pieces when you hit the ground.
YouI search for you in every crowdYou3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I long to see your face
Your presence is the cornerstone
That grounds me to this place
You're dancing through my dreams at night
My first thought when I wake
The angel on my shoulder sings
With every step I take
You know my secrets and my fears
You trust me with your own
My world falls in, I run to you
Somehow you feel like home
No safer place than with you near
I miss you when you're gone
So close we do not need to talk
Already know what's wrong
better on your floor than ever in my bedi have not slept well without the aid of sedatives since you left.better on your floor than ever in my bed1 year ago in Emotional More Like This
the dreams are screamers that set my lungs on fire and burn my body to bones and when i wake up, it is in a bed of ashes and i am alone to rebuild.
i am not a phoenix
and i cannot live on smoke.
the drugs, they dampen the ground beneath my feet, the air is thick with the tension before a storm that never comes, and i choke on every breath and wake from drowning without remembering the struggle. the memories elude me. the forgetting is, in a way, worse.
you used to be able to beat down the blaze, to pull me from the fire-pit before i settled in for the night. you used to make me feel safe.
in your bed, with you close, the dreams still came. they didn’t fear you the way they should have. but you displaced them, stood up to them and chased away the dark, and with you next to me, i slept better than i had in a year. because when i woke in the dead of night, when i cried and no one h