biopsyput me under, cover my face, stuff my lungs with your chemical lies.
if they were to take me apart,
slice open my chest,
peel back the skin keeping me whole,
they would find:
a. one heart, slowly ticking.
(they would not find anything,
but they would have to say they did.
after all, girls can't live without a heart.
they forget that i'm not the first:
a score of girls walking even though
they should have faded long ago.)
b. each rib curved so perfectly,
a shield around my lungs.
(a cage, keeping my breath from bursting
out of my skin. know that this is just me,
held together by nature,
unable to lose control of myself.)
c. two sacs of cells, nestled beside each other.
(no first-hand smoke here, no sir.
only second-hand dust, only
things i could not get rid of,
only bits of places i've been,
caught in my body.
postcards of memories i can't see.)
d. a skeleton, still and alive.
(sleeping, with blood cells being produced
in the hollows of my curves.
the rattling of my bones cannot
the little things.The night caves in.the little things.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
there are no more pretty words on my lips.
the stars fall like planes in a tailspin.
and there is no more beauty in my pen,
only the self-loathing that shadows my mind and the blade on my skin.
and he's seafoam in the drain,
as out of place here as the seashells inhabiting the dresser in my room.
its not poetry anymore,
and the pain in my chest is so real i can taste it like cold steel.
his toes at the edge of the precipice as he burns the night down. your lungs are filled with flour and your eyes with ashes.
its the little things that break you.
so i'll swallow the emptiness inside like a bitter medicine. bite my cheeks until they bleed out my insecurities. i'm rotting from the inside out, but i can't let them know it.
too afraid if i set the rot free it will destroy me completely.
but maybe its already destroyed me.
the acid in my veins has laid me bare and defenseless. the bile and unborn words in my che
cadavershe was born with arctic lipscadaver3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and overcast skin.
her hair fell like fresh snow
and she was far too thin.
her bones in locked closets,
joints creaked and shrieked
like a rotten floorboard
under gossamer feet.
So I amI feel deadSo I am3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the tree outside my window,
says I am,
so I must be.
I like lillies to bloom in winter
and for the sun to live in the clouds,
so as not to burn my skin
or leave me in the cold.
This morning I forgot to breathe,
as I woke up, I choked.
It was not unpleasent,
I was just surprised.
You could not feel the moisture
on my face
as it began to rain because,
I feel dry
and the weatherman said it was,
so it must have been,
so I am.
MusingI'm too young to spend my lifeMusing3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
running from the thunder,
staring at the kitchen walls wondering
how life would be different
if they weren't the same color.
a chinese paintingi can't stop comparinga chinese painting3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your thin arms to the tree branches haunting me outside my bedroom
the aloof night sky
painting itself into a summer's confession against
my frostbitten windowglass
the same one i gazed out into endless dandelion fields
what are we ?
wasting days without end, in our sleep
the scent of a burnt rose rising from a mountain peak
with your tree branch arms over my spring blossom tattoo.
a yellow bird peered in,
but only saw ivory waterfalls
of factorymade bedsheets,
i'm becoming the yellowbird,
exploring my tree home. your hair is my nest, afterall
home is where the heart is
little white liestissue paper skin and barbed wire spineslittle white lies3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"i haven't been sleeping well."
butterfly wing smiles and porcelain bones
"the medicine will help."
sparrow hearts and rose petal hair
undersea eyes and sailboat stomachs
"these things pass in time."
missingyou wrap me up in ocean water-born smoke of the midnight aegean seas, the misty wisps suspiring into my ears as your sweet serenade fingers trail sonata whispers down and around my ribcage. these shoulders of hundred-mile journeys should suffice for the safety of the norway fjords. your fingers trace the trembling arteries down my arm and linger at the mass of veins at my wrist, sweeping sadly over the harsh remnants of selfish black nights.missing3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
some days, i wish you were heartless too.
life is supposed to be good; i wish i could make yours better. december nights are for people together. you are warm but sometimes it's just hard. i push you away, walk to cool corners, and allow myself to hug me instead.
none of it is fair; i know you'd jump canyons just to steady me but i just can't get better for you.
your silk jasper fingers free tangles in my hair and i talk into the air, "why do you bother? it'll only tangle again." the world seems a never-ending circle of showers and powdered
the ocean doesn't comfort me like it shouldthe water looked like angrythe ocean doesn't comfort me like it should3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
hands, clawing at the sand
and the wind screamed
like an angry voice i couldn't hear
and the seagulls didn't dare
and my lungs, i think,
froze a little bit
because the stormy sea and
the screaming wind and your voice
the desperate waves
and your fingers
i went to the ocean the day you left
and all i could see was you.
Of Love Letters and Cracked PorcelainShe writes to him. Every day she writes to him thousands of letters, scrawled on lined paper, lunch bags, the backs of her homework assignments. Whole books, she writes, entire epics, tragic love stories.Of Love Letters and Cracked Porcelain3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Her fingers are perpetually stained with ink.
She doesn't begin every letter with "dear", though that's what he is to her. She knows he knows. Knows she loves him. Knows he is wanted, needed, cherished. Her one and only, forever and always. She tells him about her days, sends pictures of her sister, her mother, herself. She loves each letter to pieces, so it's wrinkled and stained and torn a little by the time it's finished.
They were childhood friends before they were lovers. He was a year or so older, an inch or two taller, an older-brother type for the first thirteen years of her life, before he grew into his body and she into hers. Relics of their combined childhoods clutter her bedroom, piling up on the bookshelf, the desk. On her walls hang the crayon drawings, fifteen ye
I miss you, and i can't say i'm sorryI miss you3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
because these slender, spider fingers
ache to trace the curved letters of your name tag,
emily. i notice you write everything in caps.
( have i ever told you
how much i enjoy saying your name, -EMILY. )
you are screaming to the world, quietly.
but we, we are mid-morning whispers
over stale, back room coffee,
silent eyes, and window pane love.
these hearts were runaways once;
hitchhikers on a trail to nowhere.
you shared pieces of yourself with me then,
emily, between beats and bathroom stalls.
you were a gargoyle under the heat
of july summer. evenings were our playground;
rose garden beasts lingering in feverish night.
Missing BonesWe spent our nights star gazingMissing Bones3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
on the top of that local bar on 5th street.
You said you loved me by night,
that no star or moon in any given universe
could compare to me; that we were lost warriors
searching for a home within the roots of one another.
I believed myself a wandering ghost among the living,
searching for missing bones and the warmth of another's grave.
You shook me then,
kissing me where it hurt most-
just to test a theory.
"Like dead birds,
you are not faceless;
your rib cage has a meaning."
And I believed I loved you then
underneath the moon and stars
tipsy on your smile and your words
and your warmth.
Your hands must be the thieves
who stole these thin bones of mine-
because, I never wanted you more.
satellite boyyou always told me,satellite boy3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to never be like you.
to not be faithless, blameless,
you told me,
you had a satellite boy,
who guided your way home.
you told me,
he fell from the heavens.
you always told me,
you were just trying to find
someone whose heart wasn't beating,
because that way, they would never
once, you made me promise,
to never swear on my own grave,
for a friend going insane.
I used to miss her, but I used to do many things.I used to trace lines from the tip of her toes to the crook of her neck, and paint her tummy with my tongue. I used to fold her bones between my fingers and keep them hidden in my pocket. I used to build her castles from blankets and unspoken wishes inside of which we could entangle our limbs and breathe each other's breath.I used to miss her, but I used to do many things.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But one day she was gone,
I woke up with an empty space between my arms where she used to be. I woke up with her voice in the back of my head and her scent between my fingers. I woke up searching for her, chasing her footprints over my skin to find that they skipped from my left hipbone onto the mattress and down onto the floor and out of my room and into the world.
I used to miss her. I used to miss the conversations we didn't have, sitting wordlessly besides each other, asking questions with our fingertips, answering them with our lips, or eyes, or kneecaps. I used to miss chasing futures together, and exchanging body parts, and smelting the ends of our nerves to
MonthsThe stars whisper softly, into theMonths3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Ears of those who want to believe
'And if she leaves you, smile, for
It's just the bones she's made of'
They met, in a pet shop up front
He- bought nothing. She- fed the birds
And took them home. They flew away
Instantly, Leaving the boy to fall
The girl bittersweet,
Welcomed him in, humming, and
He kept her up all night when she
Said she loved the starlighted sky
Up on their rooftop she finally
Confessed; "Some would call me
caged, but I believe I'm free"
Only then he noticed, her fragile
bones were ment to fly; he let her go
the last rain"Did you ever recognized that pomegranates just look like round malicious brain tumours?" she asked me, then she took four of the stones and ate them. Her mouth was a dark, reddish tunnel with white, hard edges.the last rain3 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
The hollow shell of the red fruit laid beside her on this old brick wall.
A disemboweled torso.
My own head sunk backwards onto the stones, I stood there, both feet nailed on the ground. She was up in the air. It wasn't just metaphoric. It was real.
[She was next to the pomegranate and I was down there, unable to sat beside her as normal friends would do. As we used to do.]
And she smiled bright with red teeth, like a vampire child.
"No.." I answered slightly, "You took four of them, you know what that means..?" Of course she did.
Meanwhile, the sheep clouds passed by over an innocent afternoon sky and I tried to imagine her heartbeat.
[Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It was the ticking of a clock. Almost Secure. Constant.]
SkeletonsMy body is incompatible,Skeletons3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in this air,
Stale and cold,
I have no choice but to breathe.
When she finally fainted,
her skeleton broke.
Marrow, nerves and blood cells,
litter the floor,
haemoglobin paint for the walls of her tomb.
Despite the scarecrow,
the black birds pecked the ground for seed,
and despite my efforts,
to remain still,
I could not help but press my body against yours.
Then the girl looked in the mirror
stopped and then laughed.
that girl that looked so much like me,
it was frightening,
but funny, don't you think?
How things turn out,
in the end.
my body is a funeral servicethis morning i emptied your ashes into the sky, hoping to watch them sift through my fingers like an eagle taking flight. but the wind carried them backwards and my face became an ashtray for memories. you came back to me, like you always do, like a kiss or a reoccurring dream that i can never forget. i became cloaked in black grain, the remnants of your body. your cremated smile was caught somewhere between the stinging in my eyes and the ash on my jacket.my body is a funeral service2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
in that moment my body became a funeral service. my lips preached your names to the trees. i forgot what it was like to feel anything but hymns pressing down on my back like the heat of the sun. i smelled of incense and bones burning in a fire people are paid to create. it was more than i could bear. for weeks, i obsessed on how someone could lift a motionless shell of a body into an inferno, watch people die a second time and accept their paycheck at the end of the day.
i wanted to step into that crematorium and pluck pulses like f
Leonard.his graveyard skin reflects the darkness as heLeonard.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sighs his winter breath into my hair. I found him
in a forest of lonely one day, where we would
both hide between conversations. I tried to be
summer, with a pattern of sunray on my skin
and ice cream eyes and warm evening bonfires on
my lips. he was winter, with limbs like frozen
branches and melancholy breath.
we would entangle our bones and together hide alone in
our forest of lonely. I'd seek his cool when passers-by
threw their cigarettes at me and my dry summer skin
caught fire, and he'd seek my warmth when the frost got
the best of him and his branches started to break.
I'd cringe at the snow falling from his eyes and he'd
sigh at the sun coming up in mine, but we'd close them
and hide ourselves in the crook of each others neck.
waketrembling lips,wake3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
can't breathe, at least not steadily,
paint me turquoise
or be the forest to my fire,
actually I'd rather you were nothing, at least nothing to me,
now I can feel nightfall coming upon the manifestation of a July moon,
so let's let those clouds burst and rip wide open
just as though the clouds were my organs and
the rain were my blood.
let's embrace silence and dance"I don't want to talk."let's embrace silence and dance3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
do you remember our friendship? you were my best friend, you know that. we used the sticky, summer sand to have snowball fights by the water, because we both knew it would never snow in the heat. oh, and that sand hurt, but we laughed through the pain. I guess pain is meaningless when you're seven. at night we wandered down the pier and chased the lightning bugs in and out of the tide. if we were lucky enough, we could catch one. your luck was always better than mine. lighting up the shore, we kept them in jars and placed them in a circle. I gave you my grandmother's bracelet, kissed you on the cheek, blushed, and told you the gift would remind you that someone always loves you. we stayed out there all night; I can't recall many of our conversations. but just your presence in the semi-darkness was good enough for me.
do you remember when I started to fall in love with you? we were sprawled on the dock behind my overgrown backy
Catching StarsWe sit atop cloudsCatching Stars3 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Catching wishes with a net
Still shy of the ground
hurricane eyeit's the suicide notes tucked into her coat's lining that you have to watch out for.hurricane eye3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she keeps them, you see, in case of an accident.
once, she was the hurricane's eye,
alone in that raw insanity
that we call the world.
around, everyone passed her by,
leaving her behind, a pocket
of peace. dangerous peace.
it's near impossible to be surrounded,
cornered, besieged, and not crumple.
and then the storm ended,
she was free.
she was never free, never released from the claim
of that fierce, raging wind. now she goes through life
knowing what is on the other side.
now, she is part of that hurricane, a just-in-case note
slipped under her tounge.
and she wants to warn the next girl,
struggle is never as glamorous as they make it out to be.
then, she wants to curl up in a ball and be torn apart by the winds.