Nightmare: The Secret Keeper
Nightmare: The Secret Keeper
I know, I know; I've asked too much of you already
Up until today I've asked for what I don't deserve
I hope, I hope; you will always be able to put up with me
Because everyone else chooses to ignore my words
So please, please; I want you to take me, and hide me far away
I need you to do this for me; I never, ever want to be found again
Take my will, take my heart, take my tears, take my name
Take my life, take my soul, take my fear, take my pain
Pull me into you, and keep me close to your void of a heart, so I can lose myself
Hold me in your arms, and keep everything in your palms, I yearn to be held
I can no longer stay
So please take me, and hide me before it's too late
I never wanted you to know that I don't care about myself anymore
You need to know up until this day I still feel so, so hollow
It's okay, it's okay, feel my peace, I'm giving it to you, so don't worry
Because you need it more
Carry OnI like sharp things;Carry On1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.
I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.
I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
A Loveless DayA Loveless Day2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A Loveless Day
(That Will Never Fade)
This same old dream that I so loath
A vision of a dull world shrouded in gray
As I walk down a never ending road
The colorlessness in everything never seems to decay
In slow motion I suffer alone
Under the liquid-silver droplets of rain
You had no idea how strong my love was
You played a part in the pain that was dealt and done
You didn't experience the ocean of tears that I had to swim through
You didn't see the countless days I had to endure without being around you
You never felt the sickness within the soul that I had kept
You never knew of the quakes in my heart that you had fed
For you I had damaged myself
For you I put myself through hell
But I swear it was worth it
Because now I know how hard life can get
I want you to realize that you aren't a loss
For you will always be known as my first love
This same old reality that I can't let go
A nightmare of a person who is so far away
As I try to run from the world
A Moment Of LoveA Moment Of Love2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A Moment Of Love
This is a perfect chance of weakness to finally tell you that this isn't just a crush
It's not all about lust; I've always wanted to confess to you that I care about you so much
I apologize for being hesitant all of the time; it's just very hard to say you're my one true love
I yearned to say it out loud, but the words couldn't escape my mouth, that's what my fear does
I tried to say it to you in every lucid dream, that's how strong these feelings are
And I found myself waking up to tears of joy, because a true sense of hope is in my heart
I want to win you over
And I will never give up
Because you make the dark brighter
And you're always there no matter what
Every time you smile at me, it makes my day
Every time you laugh with me, it completes my night
Every time you speak to me, my problems fade away
Every time you're with me, it betters this hopeless life
You've done a lot for me that you don't even know about
Like when you told me that I was never alone
DependentDependent2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's one of those days
When everything goes wrong
And it hurts you in ways
When it feels like you don't belong
Thinking of the choices you made
What you've done
Questioning if redemption is too late
Can this guilt be overcome?
I deserve to remain
Locked within the pain
As my tears are wrapped in chains
And it's all true
What we all go through
Take all of my problems and give 'em to you
Because I cannot
Win back the battles I lost
For I am unable to pay the courage it costs
For those who say
That the past can't be changed
They're right, but the memories won't go away
So lead me astray
Carry all of my burdens I gave
And head for our war that awaits to be waged
Do you know what it's like?
To depend one someone so much
Who might not be able to save your life
For them to try and prevent a dying cause
All words fade when I try to apologize
Your selflessness leaves me speechless
You will always be a hero in my eyes
But...your kindness is my weakness
I Was WrongMaybe I was wrongI Was Wrong2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You don't need me
That's why you left
I'm the one that needs you
I don't feel the need to change myself to make you want me again
If who I am isn't good enough, then maybe I'm better off alone
I wish things could go back to being like they were
Me and you
Fitting perfectly together
Letting everything disappear
I know I'm young
People tell me I'll find someone else
That I'll love again
But I don't know if I can be that open with anyone other than you
I'm too guarded
I have trouble seeing myself with anyone but
I know how to be strong and that I shouldn't let one relationship ruin me
But in all honesty
I am lost without you
In SilenceIt's dark by eight now.In Silence2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
These days are not like our days before.
Do you think that if you stay silent,
I won't exist.
If so, I can stay silent too.
Sometimes I still check to see if you've called
or left a message or something, anything.
You haven't yet.
I know you won't.
You said you'd never hurt me
and when you left, I told Mom you hadn't,
not really,you wouldn't, not forever.
She smiled sadly.
She knew you would.
She knew you had.
ChangeChange2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What's death like?
I hope there's a heaven.
I believe there is nothing.
I fear for a new life.
I fear because,
I probably won't remember anything.
My ideals, dreams and principals...
My family and friends...
People tell me,
It's okay because you won't be able to tell.
But isn't that the worst part?
What if you bumped into them on the street?
And you wouldn't even recognize them...
Quickly regaining your pace as you walk away from these...
On the other hand, it does sound beautiful.
Your former dreams might have left you, but at least their place has been taken.
At least it won't be empty.
In my eyes it still is the scariest thing in the world.
The only kind of sadness that enables me to feel true despair.
My Broken PromisesMy Broken Promises2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My Broken Promises
I know \ you don't need to remind me anymore
I heard / those heartfelt words many times before
You remember I said I would always be there for you when you needed me
But instead, I just upped and left the both of us, so heartlessly
Knowing very well that you're the most important person, I'm so sorry
Maybe these words of my inner hurt will help you understand clearly
I always thought that my first kiss ever would be with a special someone
But it was taken away from me in a split second, the loss cannot be undone
And I planned to keep my virginity for a little while longer, I wasn't ready yet
But I was robbed of it, the exploring hands and eyes is what I will never forget
One day, a person can be young, and hopeful, and oh-so innocent
The next, life has changed, and the remorse makes everything different
I hope \ you believed me when I said I'd never let go
I wished / that no one would ever find my suicide note
Should Have Cared LessWhen did I turn from "the most amazing woman you have ever known" into something completely meaningless?Should Have Cared Less2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
The later tonight gets, the less sleepy I become and the more my thoughts turn to memories that I want to cling to with every ounce of strength I possess so they do not slip away. I press my hand to my chest in the spot where my heart is aching and I sigh, then bite my lip and try to hold back the tears.
Your eyes, the bluest eyes I have ever found myself lost inside, I loved the way they always looked at me. You devoured every inch of my body with those eyes, and although I acted bashful, I adored your attention. There is nobody else I would rather have stood before naked and exposed, because I trusted that you saw the me beneath my flaws.
Now, you are letting go. Lately I have felt myself slipping away from you and back into the skin of the reckless girl I used to be. The girl who would build something beautiful ju
Painting ThunderstormsI will remember you in flowers, dead and never given.Painting Thunderstorms2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We are broken promises and shattered glass.
In your traitorous arms,
I wish I'd never closed my eyes,
You are like all good headaches
in that, you will fade away,
In painkillers and flowers on a grave.
EternityHere you go turn the pageEternity2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To dance alone on the stage
To I less often control my rage
To I feel you were my cage
To I'm so fucked for my age
Old FriendHello there again, my old friendOld Friend2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I didn't invite you, nor I ever do
How long will you stay?
Or will you ever go away?
Have you been here all along?
I thought you were gone,
Will you prove me wrong?
As long as you're here,
Don't come in too near
Keep a safe distance,
Find your own place
At the edge of the room
At least when I'm all alone,
I know I can find you at my home
Always by my side,
Willing to be my guide
Like an unsound ghost,
Providing company when I need it most
But I wish you would let me be,
And give back my eyes to see
I'm falling when with you,
How do I know what's true?
Perhaps I gave you an invitation,
And it wasn't just your manipulation
But never would I ask for such an intrusion,
That brings nothing more than empty seclusion
No matter how far I push you away,
I fear with me you will always stay
Whenever I think it's going to end,
There you are again, my old friend
The first pillPill, I have seen every endThe first pill2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and every one will drop and bend
o'er the edge, into the rain
beats now upon my windowpane.
Pill, it comes not from all sides,
but from all cracks and all divides:
within, without or farther still.
It comes and comes and always will.
Pill, inside you may not keep
the final carrier to sleep;
the will, the strength to make things die
but that's okay, for nor do I.
Caffe LatteThe paleness of the blackening day,Caffe Latte2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Has left its mark upon my person once again.
An emptiness seeping from the bosom of painful reality,
Into the very fabric of a sheltered being,
A droplet of burning scarlet spreading upon white linen sheets,
Insatiable malignancy, forced upon by the subtly of viscous silence,
And the harshness of unwelcomed examination.
A gaze lifted once more from rotting lines,
Meets in final discourse with the monstrosity that sweeps through the air,
In hopes of quelling ravenous hunger with jagged fantasy.
Unnoticed by surroundings of a more refined nature,
It frolics through the ether of the day,
As if riding on the wings of the promises,
That tether lovers' hearts to each other,
To peer through the dusty window panes,
Of lives left hallowed and undressed,
Drowning now and again in the exotic flavors,
Of long lost lattes and split cigarettes,
Only to putrefy in the humidity accompanying the death of the day,
And the birth of abysmal night.
Sweeping once more bet
night.that night we sat watch,night.2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
guarding our minds from the beasts that wait in sleep. your room was a bomb shelter, a safe house from his reach. but maybe it was you that kept back the demons. the clock bled hours.
while thoughts curled in our minds and we sought to find the reason we continued to permit air in our lungs. my wrists had never looked more like bullseyes but i didn't want to tell you. when you set with the rising sun i set my veins free with the sharpened end of a bobbypin. (imsoryimsorryimsorry, its just that i'm ill).
your curtains were red like the nile turning the room shades of violence that i hid in the corners of my body and in your fists clenched in dreaming, my mind fell out of my head and i stopped counting the hours but the voices in my head wouldn't quiet. when sleep took my by the ankles and pulled me under i couldn't stop seeing his face. the smell of his body wrapped in mine took all my senses and crushed my mind, i woke shaking. i tried to re
monster.last night i found the seams to my sealskin flesh. i tore out the stitches and peeled it off. i left it to inhabit my bed like a snake's shed skin. it felt so right to leave it all behind.monster.2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
[but when i looked down i saw the monster that had been hidden underneath].
i saw my soul the black i'd smeared it, and i saw the acid in my veins.
i saw hidden under whitewashed ribs a heart that looked like a hole, withered and decayed.
i saw my lungs polluted with emotion and watched as selfhate ran down my spine.
i wanted to rip it out, but my hands were useless.
i wanted to run, but i couldn't outrun the monster within.
[so i burned it all down].
and from the ashes, a phoenix was born.
then i awoke.
Endless Tears And Endless PainI'm lost and drowning,Endless Tears And Endless Pain2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sinking and clawing
At the slippery rocks
Around me, missing.
I'm tired of fighting,
Fighting for my life.
There is no meaning
Anymore, it's gone.
Sobs wrack my body,
Tears run down my face,
Like rivers of pain.
Why won't they stop?
I'm trying to hang on
(Maybe just for you)
But hell, I can't keep
Holding on like this.
My mask is shattering
But no one sees it.
(Maybe they refuse to)
Will they notice the scars?
I thought I would
Be just fine
I thought everything
Would finally be okay.
It's all a lie.
I just want to die.
BoleroWe can be nothing moreBolero2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please take the wheel
and let us coast along
in this fine
and silently pretend
we are anything,
He kissed her forehead
curls of uncertainties
behind her ears,
where she could not
see or hear them.
How he longed for
winter's glacier cloak
to crack the tension
and keep them close
as it had in '87
when skating on thin ice
had such innocent connotations.
They had danced to
flying high in life
- both dizzy on love.
This was not the grand finale
either had planned,
but their mirrored minds
continued to dance in
each leaning into
the other's teasing rhythm.
- It's hot,
with blades of beauty
on slow burn
ballet on ice...
FragilityI desperately hold onFragility1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
to the notion that I'm strong.
Yet no matter how hard I try,
I'm still fragile.
I surround myself with friends,
yet I've never felt more alone.
Anyone I ever get close to,
just ends up leaving me in the end.
A broken facade,
cracked for an instant.
Only to be sealed back up
with the glue of unwanted solitude.
NightmaresI don't want to fall asleepNightmares2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I can't bare to close my eyes
I can't stand what's inside my head
Be it made of truth or lies
'Cause when I fall asleep
The nightmares take place
The worst things I can imagine
Scarier than any screaming face
In my dreams
I see you there
But you're hurting me on purpose
And you don't seem to care
I see you with other girls
And you look so happy
And I'm stood there screaming
Telling you it should be me
But you're not listening
You're too busy having fun
I can't get away from what I'm seeing
No matter how much I try to run
I'm seeing you with girlfriends
I've never even heard of
Telling them they're beautiful
As I start to sob
Then I wake up in the dark
And I'm lying here alone
With no one here to comfort me
Just me on my own
You may think the worst part is over
But it's only just begun
'Cause when I go back to sleep
I know I'll have another one
Nightmares that leave me crying
When I wake up in bed
Wishing every night
That they would stay out my head
But I kno
Used to Dream of Time Machinesi stopped crying myself to sleep at night.Used to Dream of Time Machines2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i don't remember the moment it happened,
because it was somewhere between
a new heartbreak and a new me,
but last night i couldn't press
a wider smile into my pillow.
i didn't forget.
i'd like to meet the soul
who'd try and make me.
but i confess,
that i've stopped feeling guilt
every time hunger rises in my belly.
i'm sorry that i blamed you
for all the crumbling disarray,
for every time i couldn't turn the world over.