Devious Journal EntryYour perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card again.
Your perfect little girl yelled at you last night.
Your perfect little girl talked back to you again.
Your perfect little girl lied to you all her life.
Your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep.
Your perfect little girl dated before sixteen.
Your perfect little girl doesn't go to church.
Your perfect little girl hates you.
Your perfect little girl has given up on life.
Your perfect little girl wants to run away.
Your perfect little girl thinks she's overweight.
Your perfect little girl hasn't let you dry her tears.
Your perfect little girl disobeys you.
Your perfect little girl hates the world.
Your perfect little girl says bad things about you.
Your perfect little girl tried to commit suicide.
Your perfect little girl has become a disgrace.
Your perfect little girl .isn't so perfect anymore
Daddy, why did they take mommy away?Daddy, why did they take mommy away?3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Chewing her short nails ferociously, Skylar bounced her leg anxiously as she glanced at the clock once more. Forty more minutes.
"Fuck," She muttered under her breath. She finally tore her fingers away from her mouth long enough to see that she'd gnawed away the majority of her black nail polish. A moment later her fingers were back to her mouth being slowly gnawed away by her obnoxious habit.
"Skylar?" A gentle voice spoke to her, "Skylar are you sure there isn't anything you'd like to share with-" She was cut off quickly when Skylar's piercing blue eyes shot up and bore into her's, answering with one flat note word, "No."
Skylar listened to the sound of the leather armchair across from her groaning as her therapist leaned back, her pants making a scratching noise as she crossed her legs. She only crossed her legs when she was feeling impatient, Skylar had come to learn this quickly.
"We're only trying to help you, Skylar. We want to know why you-" She cleared her throat a moment and
A kiss, a wish, and a big ol' FUCK YOU on topDriven to the point of insanity,A kiss, a wish, and a big ol' FUCK YOU on top3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
torn between two worlds
is where you'll find me.
Shadows yearn for my presence,
while sunlight cries out for my smiles.
Long ago did I throw away the warm feeling
of happiness that once filled my heart.
Tearing away it's constricting restrictions
I gave into the shadows wants, needs, desires.
Happiness is the key!
Happiness is the key to your demise.
Give in to love and you can bet
one day you'll be as empty as I.
Love leads to desire,
desire to need,
need to obsession,
obsession to insanity.
Love is the root of all evil.
and leaves you nothing but broken.
It's better to have loved and lost
then to have never loved at all.
To live broken and abused
is better to live in complete ignorance. Right.
Love is a lie.
Hope is lost.
Wishes are nothing.
Peace is death.
Everlasting loveI know you don't remember these thingsEverlasting love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but I do.
I remember them every time I close my eyes.
I remember your warm smile,
and the moment I feel in love with it.
You may not remember,
because you'd stopped smiling.
But I remember it everyday.
I remember your bright eyes
how they used to shine so brightly.
You may have forgotten
because they filled with tears as you looked away.
But I remember them to this day.
I remember your sweet, kind laugh,
how it seemed to fill a room with its music.
You don't remember
because your joy slowly faded away.
I remember your gentle touch,
how it used to reach down to my heart.
it's been so long since I've felt your touch.
But I remember it so well.
I remember your kiss,
how sweet it tasted upon my lips.
Though that's all in the past,
for you turned away in shame.
It broke my heart,
seared with pain,
and to this day
I remember it all.
I remember you.
I remember the love we once shared.
You may have forgotten,
but I never will.
Her Name Was AliceHer Name Was Alice3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"I'm still here.."
Drumming his fingers on his steering wheel to a happy beat in his head, Jeremy repeated the date over in his head. January 5th, 2009. One year today. One whole year had passed since the first day he'd laid eyes on the most beautiful girl he'd ever encountered. Her name was Alice. Long glossy dark hair that contrasted greatly with her bright green eyes. Tanned cheeks with freckles sprinkled across her little nose that crinkled when she smiled. And her smile, oh how he felt his heart melt every time she turned it on just for him. She was perfect in every way for him. And tonight was the night he'd finally tell her.
It was time to finally confess his true feelings for her. Tonight was the night, he would tell her he loved her for the first time. Smiling to himself he pictured her expression as he would pull the small black box from his pocket and hold it out to her. A small silver ring with a green emerald, to match her eyes, set carefully
I see who you are nowYour smile,I see who you are now3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like the Cheshire cat's,
holds deep secrets that no one can unlock.
are as dark and chilling
as black ice.
are carefully worded and woven
like the smoothest velvet.
Your kiss is empty.
Your heart is stone.
Your soul has vanished.
And your love is nothing.
You are nothing.
I remind myself,
'You mean nothing to me.
You are nothing to me.'
But things manage to slip,
to get in the way.
If only memories could be destroyed,
if only love didn't get in the way.
You are nothing.
If only your mark didn't stain my heart,
If only your promises didn't run so deep.
If only I could forget your smile..
Forget your kiss..
You are.. You are..
If only I didn't love you still..
I wrote you a letter todayI wrote you a letter today,I wrote you a letter today3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but crossed out my name.
I filled the long letter
with every sweet memory
that I could remember.
I wrote about my dreams of you,
every time I whispered
"I love you" .
I wrote about your eyes,
how much they reminded me
of the clear blue sky.
I wrote about your kiss,
how gentle it was
but how I hungered
for so many more.
And finally I wrote about your love
and how I had secretly dreamed of it
all this time.
I ended the letter,
but left it unsigned,
and left but a whisper of a kiss behind.
I sealed the letter,
put on my coat,
and left your letter there,
right in the snow.
But don't worry,
I payed you my respects before I left,
making sure to leave my unread letter,
in the shadow
of your grave.
Midnight LoversThe worst feeling ever feltMidnight Lovers1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
is being in love
with nothing more than an image of a face,
a gentle memory of a voice that goes with it-
While endless nights spent reaching out and stretching,
to hold onto that subtle image,
that fading memory,
until there is nothing but a trail of smoke
lingering between your stiff, broken fingers,
a reminiscence of nights long since passed,
a nostalgic breathe of cold night air
between parched dry lips.
A beautifully broken memory
of loving lips against soft skin.
Fingers running through silk like hair,
whispers in your ear of promises for tomorrow
and life long dreams to come true.
Eyes so full of life,
heart so eager to take them by storm,
to run into the darkest corners of the world
and face the unknown with bold intentions.
To live life with no fear.
To breath in cold night air.
To love a lover lost,
to the darkest corners of the world.
Another choice to be madeIt's happening again.Another choice to be made4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The heartbreaking decisions that must be made.
But this time,
The lonely girl only has one choice to make.
Take back the boy with the longing eyes
Or, leave him behind with all the others?
Her life has been full of these kinds of events.
But this one,
This one was different.
Her choice would be fatal if chosen wrong.
Take back the boy with the longing eyes
And throw her heart to chance and trust,
And hope it didn't shatter upon impact?
Or, leave him behind
And risk losing out on something
That could mean the world one day?
Take him back,
Risk her heart.
Leave him behind,
Risk her happiness.
What does she do?
She starts over.
The lonely girl
Takes the hand of the boy with the longing eyes and says
"Hello there, my name is Kayla."
She never told anyone.It wasn't supposed to turn out this wayShe never told anyone.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He wasn't supposed to be like the others
But he was.
Only after one thing,
And one thing only.
How naive she was
To believe his lies.
Taking her carefully into his arms
He kissed her lips and ran his fingers through her hair.
She relished every second of his touch,
Craved his kisses.
Though she didn't realize,
The hunger in his eyes was growing more and more.
She should have run,
Screamed for someone,
But she didn't.
She was too lost in the thought of young love.
It wasn't until,
He locked the door behind him,
And pressed his lips against hers a little too hard,
Pushed her against the wall
A little too forcefully,
Pulled her hair, forcing her head back until she could no longer breath..
It wasn't until then that she finally realized,
Something was wrong.
By then though,
It was too late.
He threw her down on the bed.
She tried to crawl away
But he dragged her back,
Pinned her down with his strong hands,
And began tearing her clothes away.
Go back to sleep.I turned to face the door as the last of the light slipped through the barely open crack. In a matter of seconds, I would be trapped within the confines of this room. This hell. My new home.Go back to sleep.3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
3- 2 -1. The last of the light vanished and I found myself plunged into darkness. A soft click from the door told me I was now locked in. A soft hum and rattle came from the ceiling as the light finally came to life, a loud grumbling noise, like that of an old fan turning on for the first time in years, followed the new amount of light.
Finally, turning away from the locked door, I faced my new home. The walls were white, but not a clean white. They looked dingy and faded with time. The floor was the same, made of white tiles but covered with a thin layer of time.
Time.. If only I had that once more. If only I could taste it's freedom on my lips and tongue once more. If only it were mine..
I threw myself against the locked door, pummeling the hard oak wood with my frail hands until I felt they woul
Killing Me With EmptinessMy nights start with the unrelenting needKilling Me With Emptiness1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
to feel your hands across my body,
to feel your breath in my hair,
to feel your whispers against my skin.
Of course I'm granted nothing but words printed on a screen
looked upon with tired,
Eyes that are drooping closed with need for sleep.
Though being the persistent person I am
I kindly tell sleep to fuck the hell off
and let me get my fill of the words being printed across
a tiny glowing screen
by invisible fingers.
My mornings start with the first essential need
of flicking on a too bright screen,
blinding myself in pathetic search of an awaiting message
that is never there.
A long shower is spent
contemplating why there is no waiting message,
why there is never a waiting message,
why there will never be a waiting message.
is spent encouraging myself not to make the first
and overly pathetic first move.
Courage is built up,
restraint is compiled.
All is as it sho
Endless gameYou're so smooth in every lie you weave.Endless game3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cool and calculated.
You know what you want,
and you don't stop at any costs
to get your precious prize.
Do you even know what it means
to be a soothsayer anymore?
To whisper words of true love,
of true emotion..
Or are you so far gone,
hidden behind your lies
that you no longer know what it means
to love the girl
who only wanted you
to love her,
to want her,
to trust her with yourself.
We've been falling for all this timeThe thinnest chainWe've been falling for all this time3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
held us together.
I, barely held up over the edge,
my back turned to the endless darkness,
was only held there by the chain in my hand
the end in your own.
That small chain
saved us both from life
Silver tears streaked down my cheeks
as I pleaded for you to stay,
to hold on longer still.
But I could see the doubt in your eyes.
You knew it would come to an end sooner
that this paradise
could only last so long.
But still I found myself pleading,
begging for you to remain,
"One day we won't feel this pain anymore,"
I whispered as a tear streamed down my cheek
falling into the deepening blackness beneath me.
I watched the pain cross your face,
tear into your heart.
Watched as you screamed and reached effortlessly forward.
I still clutched the chain in my hand while I slipped away,
the other half still clutched in your own.
The chain that once held us together,
But in the end,
we both knew this day would come.
It had to
I'd wait a thousand more just for youOne day I'll smile in the sunI'd wait a thousand more just for you3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and hold your hand.
One day I'll kiss your lips
and laugh to no end.
One day I'll whisper to you in the dark
and spill all my secrets without a single doubt.
One day I'll stand beside you
and say I love you.
One day I'll be one step closer to you
and no longer be afraid.
One day I'll have the courage to look you in the eye
and admit the truth of all those years I waited.
One day I hope to be yours.
One day I hope you give me that chance.
I'll love you to the end.
Absence Rains On MeDear sweet girlAbsence Rains On Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'll let it all out
As your absence rains on me
Like cutting knives
I'll let out my whole being
My heart empty
Cries for your soul
Longs for your heart
Begs for your touch
The drops from the sky
Rain drops of loneliness
Your absence rains on me
I can feel it deep
The words we said
The dreams we shared
As far fetched as they were
They gave me hope
My heart fluttered with you
And you made me feel...oh
Oh so good
Hearing melodies is not the same
Every day is not the same
We barely exchange words now
I would've traveled the world to see you
To reach you, to touch you, to please you
To make you happy
Everynight is empty
My phone rings no more with you
The sweetest smile I knew of yours
Etched only in dreams
Dear sweet girl
I do miss you so...
But you made your choice
One I was not a part of
And the sky rains on me it's pain
Your absence rains on me
And I've got no where to go
I've lost more than love
Through eternity and beyond
With rain or sunshine
Hold on till the endI should have stuck to the planHold on till the end3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Pull the mask down further sweetheart,
I think they can begin to see your frown."
Should have made sure I was alone
in the deepening shadows.
"You'll forever be a pathetic little girl
bathed in black."
I just need to keep my head down,
and close my eyes.
"Do you even know what a smile is?
I'm sure if you tried your face would split open."
Sew my lips shut,
"She's such a freak.
Does she even talk at all?"
Hold back the screams.
"What would happen if I shinned light on her?
Do you think she'd hiss and run away?"
My limit is coming to a close end.
"Let's see what color she bleeds."
Just close your eyes
and imagine it's all just a dream.
It'll be over soon.
"Who does she think she is anyways."
Close your eyes..
Go to sleep,
and hope you wake tomorrow to another day,
from another bad dream.
It'll be over soon sweetheart.
So, just pull your mask down for now,
We All Fall DownI look in the mirror,We All Fall Down1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
and see my mothers eyes,
her frizzy curls.
I look in the mirror and see my fathers lips
the almond shape of his eyes,
the pin straight nose,
the light, the intelligence
I speak words
and hear my mothers voice
but my fathers wisdom.
I cry out in anger
and feel the searing edge of my mothers fury,
but the cooling effects of my fathers forgiveness.
I cry heavy tears
and feel my mothers senseless depression,
the heaviness of my fathers waiting heart.
I anger at my lover
and hear the harsh words
divorce, divorce, divorce
ringing through my head.
I cry in the empty night
and listen to the last memories
of my fathers patience,
my mothers hard edge.
I laugh only to stop and remember
the long nights listening through cracks in doors,
to angry phone calls
about distant, hidden lovers.
About a romance that was unwinding
from the very first "I love you".
About a family
that was failing to pieces,
strewn across the floor before me
DeathDeath is quiet,Death1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
a heavy blanket in the air,
a suffocating reminder
of what will never once more
An empty chair,
an empty bed,
a silent morning.
Nights are no longer filled
with gentle whispers
of one more goodnight kiss.
Pillows are no longer warmed
with the gentle hush of your breath.
No longer are the sheets filled
with the warmth of your still body.
Alarm clocks ring shrilly
with no hand to quiet it.
So I do it.
The kitchen is cold and dark;
Coffee does not wait
in anticipation of tired lips.
So I make it.
A jacket is flung carelessly
over the back of a chair.
Keys are tossed in front of it there.
So I pick it up.
I hold it to my face.
I breathe in your smell,
the last bits of your existence.
I breathe in your last moments,
the color of your eyes,
the smile you shared.
I breathe in the last "I love you",
the last kiss,
the last goodbye,
the last moments
before you died.