On The Run- Part OnePerry jumped up onto Candace's bed, patted down a spot, and curled up into a ball.
Candace's bed was very soft, especially after a hard day at work.
"PHINEAS!" Candace screamed.
Perry chattered. He had been noticed.
"GET YOUR UGLY BLUE BREADLOAF WITH A TAIL OFF OF MY BED!"
"Coming, Candace!" Phineas said. He came into Candace's room. "Oh, there you are, Perry."
"Get him off!" Candace said.
"Okay, okay." Phineas picked Perry up.
"What are you still doing awake, anyway?" Candace asked.
"Ferb and I are reading about opossums." Phineas said.
"Boring." Candace said.
"Not really." Phineas said. "Opossums have opposable thumbs on their back feet. And there's a type of shrimp called the opossum shrimp. You can see through them."
"KEEP IT DOWN!" Linda shouted from her bedroom. She didn't care how late the kids stayed up, so long as they didn't keep her awake.
"Goodnight, Candace." Phineas whispered. He carried Perry back to his room.
Ferb was holding a giant book entitled "OPOSSUMS ARE AWESOME.
Taunted- Part OnePerry had been sleeping peacefully until he heard thunder crackle furiously outside. He jolted awake and looked around.Taunted- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Phineas sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "Rain." He murmured.
Ferb sat up as well. He looked out the window, and then slumped back down against his pillow.
"I'll be right back." Phineas crawled out of bed and left the room.
Perry felt drowsy as the rain pattered against the window. He slowly started to fall asleep.
Another crash sounded from outside. Perry yawned and went over to Phineas's pillow. He patted down a spot and curled up.
He glanced over at Ferb. Ferb was staring nervously at the wall in front of his bed.
"It's not going to fall over." Perry said sleepily.
"Hm?" Ferb asked.
"The wall isn't going to come down from the rain. If that's what you were worried about."
Ferb shook his head. "You said you would tell me more stories from when you were younger. You never got around to it."
"I'll tell you some in the morning. I'll be less tired then."
Ferb sat and l
Possess- Part One"Happy, happy Valentine's day!" Pinky said, carrying a huge box of flowers, candy and hearts into Perry's lair.Possess- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry didn't look at him. "What is that junk doing here?"
"Aw, come on." Pinky said, plopping the box in front of him. "You keep an old moldy sandwich and a stitch in a box, but you think my valentines are junk?"
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Cheer up! Just because you're technically single, that doesn't mean you have to mope all day. Love is in the air!" Pinky spun around. "And not just for us. I heard Isabella say she was going to give a valentine to Phineas."
"If she can find him." Perry muttered.
"I'm not in the mood, Pinky. Take your stupid hearts and flowers out of here."
"I'd think you'd be super happy today. You're finally home! Bernie rescued you from Danville Wood!"
Devon the dog climbed out from inside the box. Candy spilled onto the floor. "And he saved me, too!"
"How long have you been in there?" Pinky asked.
"I was lying in here when you started putting stuff in.
Banter- Part One"Oh oh Delores I can't believe it you were so young "Banter- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
The handsome young man placed a hand on the beautiful girl's arm. "Delores can you hear me, somehow? Oh Delores what caused your end?"
"Dating you." Perry answered, stuffing his mouth full of popcorn. "Does he die yet?"
"Perry!" Pinky the Chihuahua chided. "Be quiet! Other people are trying to watch the movie."
"You said they both die at the end." Perry said. "I came here expecting to see some sick awesome death scenes. Where's the death, huh? So far only Dewhatsis has kicked the bucket."
"It's so beautiful." Peter the panda sobbed from next to Perry.
"Yeah, that desk they got in the background is pretty nice looking. Wonder how long they took to shellac it. Why do they keep zooming in on that guy's face? They need to get some more shots of the desk. I bet that desk didn't even get full pay for being in the movie. I bet he's an un-credited appearance. We need to fight for that desk's rights!"
Operational- Part OnePerry sat in the middle of the trampoline, looking as mindless as possible. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were bouncing him.Operational- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Maybe we can all count to three and jump at the same time." Ferb said. "Then Perry would go REALLY high."
"But what if he goes so high that he flies off the edge of the trampoline?" Phineas asked.
Isabella giggled, but Perry didn't know why. The idea of falling from a great height onto the ground did not amuse him.
"Okay, stop jumping." Phineas said. They all stopped. "One two THREE!"
They jumped. Perry was bounced to about a foot in the air.
"I wish we had a trampoline in our backyard." Phineas said. "Mom says maybe Ferb will get one on his birthday."
"Until then, you can always come over." Isabella said, jumping extra high. "Does Perry like to play fetch?"
"Yeah, we used to play it all the time when he was a baby." Phineas said. "But lately he just sits around. Maybe he'll play."
"Maybe he won't." Perry chattered.
Phineas gave him a pleadin
Caring- Part OnePhineas ran around the house. "I AM FREE! AT LAST! FREEDOM!"Caring- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Ferb and Perry sat watching him. Perry was happy Phineas had gotten the cast off of his knee, but now Phineas had to release all of that energy that he'd built up ever since his knee was broken.
"He's like one of those windup toys." Perry said, watching Phineas do his fourth lap.
"That never stops." Ferb added.
"You know what this means, Ferb?" Phineas skidded to a stop. "We can build stuff again!"
Ferb pumped his fist into the air.
"WOOHOO! Let's dance!" Phineas said.
The two boys started dancing.
Candace entered the room. "Would you keep it down? I am trying to tell Stacy about the time that Jeremy looked at me!"
"Sounds very interesting." Perry said sarcastically. He loved the fact that Candace couldn't understand him.
"We're partying, Candace. We have to be loud." Phineas said.
"Well, party SOME OTHER TIME."
"I can't help it! I need to jump! And run! And get outside. I can FINALLY sit under the tree again!" Phineas ran di
Rememberance- Part OneSo this was what it felt like when you were being asphyxiated.Rememberance- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry hadn't actually been trained for fighting swamp vipers, but he felt he was doing pretty good. He'd filled his lungs with oxygen and tried to make himself take up more space than he needed.
The snake wasn't very pleased. He hadn't expected his prey to be so hard to squeeze to death.
"Food." He hissed.
"Living organism. Trying to survive here." Perry responded.
"No. You are food."
"I'm not sure we're gonna agree anytime soon."
The snake lunged for his face. Perry pushed its neck away.
His arms and his legs were free, but his middle wasn't. And yet the snake was winning. It was a slow process, but Perry knew it was winning.
Desperately he looked for a way out. He was surrounded by trees, but he couldn't just get up and go get a branch to whack the snake on the head with.
How did platypuses even survive in the wild?
"Death." The snake said. "You smell like death."
Perry found it much harder to breathe now. He started gasp
Survival- Part OneMonogram cleared his throat. "The reason I called you here, Carl is because I have some unfortunate news."Survival- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Is the Mexican food station gone again?" Carl asked.
"Honestly, Carl, is food ALL you think about?" Monogram huffed. "No, it's still there. And stocked with plenty of tacos. Carl, I have discovered that the rogues are tied in with the disappearance of some of our best agents."
Carl counted on his fingers. "So far, we're missing Agent C, Agent P, Agent L, Agent K, and Agent D, right?"
"Yes. And the only reason we know they're missing is their owners put up lost cat, lizard, dog, panda and kangaroo posters."
"I still can't believe Agent K's host family can fit him in their house." Carl said.
"They're a nice AND impressive family." Monogram said. "I've figured out that the rogues have been capturing our agents and then releasing them into Danville Wood. I've placed surveyor agents around the area, but I'm worried-"
"Can't we just track the missing agents?" Carl asked.
"I was a
Unearthly Rains- Part One“Ferb, you put a baloney sandwich in my side of the locker.”Unearthly Rains- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
“Oops.” Ferb said. He pushed a button in the locker door and the sandwich materialized in the top locker.
“How did you guys manage to morph your bottom and top lockers together?” Perry asked.
“Well, we used an atomic sy-”
“Forget it, I don’t know science. Very impressive, though.”
“Thanks for coming to our parents’ night, Perry.” Phineas said. “I wish mom and dad could have come. But they were busy.”
“No problem.” Perry said. “You have a nice school.”
“But our school colors are weird.” Phineas sighed.
“Khaki and clear.” Ferb said.
“You guys should suggest changing them.” Perry said.
“Good idea!” Phineas said. “Ferb, let’s invent a new color!”
“You can’t just make a new color no one’s see-” Perry stopped. “Never mi
Candy Canes- Part One“Perry’s winter booties look so cute.” Phineas said, watching as Perry chewed on his booties.Candy Canes- Part One3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
“He’s just got to take a little time to get used to them.” Linda said. “The vet said they might feel strange at first. Animals don’t usually wear things on their feet.”
Perry yanked hard on the front left foot bootie. It did not come off.
“He doesn’t appear to be very fond of them.” Ferb said.
“But they have little polar bears on them, Perry!” Phineas said.
“He has to wear them.” Linda said. “Otherwise his feet will get too cold.”
Perry slammed his tail against the ground with displeasure.
“Who wants hot chocolate?” Linda asked.
“Ooh, me!” Phineas said.
Perry continued to try and dismantle his booties as the boys ran into the kitchen.
“Hey!” Pinky the Chihuahua said. He pointed at an empty chair. “I saved you a seat. And got you so
The Sounds Of Music- Part OnePerry woke up towards the middle of the night. The menu screen for ‘On The Trail’ was on the television.The Sounds Of Music- Part One3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ferb and Candace were snoring on the couch. Phineas, however, was mumbling in his sleep.
Perry looked sleepily towards Phineas.
“Perry…” Phineas said again.
Phineas still didn’t open his eyes. “Make all the people go away.”
“There are too many people around me.” Phineas murmured.
Perry yawned and tried to lift Phineas off the couch. Phineas was very heavy.
He dragged Phineas upstairs and into his room. Then he lifted him into his bed.
Completely worn out, Perry flopped down on the floor.
“Perry…” Phineas whimpered, rolling over in his sleep. “Perry, make all the people go away.”
“There are no people here.” Perry wheezed.
“YOU.” Phineas growled menacingly.
Perry stood up and backed out o
Home Is Where The Melon Is- Part One“This is the best sauce.” Ferb said, tossing chopped onions into a frying pan. “You’ll like it.”Home Is Where The Melon Is- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
“I’m sure I will.” Phineas said. “It smells good.”
“Ferb, would you stop it?” Perry squeezed a pack of liquid cheese onto his shell pasta. “The heavenly scent of your homemade sauce is taking all of the flavor out of my artificial mac-and-cheese.”
“Don’t diss my sauce.” Ferb said.
“Your sauce is dissing my mac-and-cheese. By the way, are you two allowed to use the stove?”
“With adult supervision.” Phineas said.
“And technically, you are an adult.” Ferb said.
“True that. So, what am I supposed to do as an adult supervisor? Make sure you two don’t catch on fire?”
“Pretty much.” Phineas said.
“All right, I’ll have the extinguisher ready. Hey Phin, can you get me some watermelon? Nothing goes better with artificially
Fight Or Flight- Part One"Which way did he go, Carl?"Fight Or Flight- Part One3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"He's under the desk, sir."
Traitor. Perry thought. He tried to make himself smaller under Monogram's desk.
"Who grows thorns in their gardens?" Monogram asked Carl.
"I don't know, sir."
Monogram's face suddenly appeared. Perry backed up and hissed.
"Come on, Agent P. Come on out."
Perry gave a low growl.
"I don't know why he's so uncooperative today." Monogram said, dragging Perry out from under the desk. "He never used to hide when he had a thorn stuck in his foot. He knows I won't hurt him when I pull it out."
"It's not that he's worried about, sir. He's developed a fear of tweezers."
Perry tried to pull his foot away from Monogram.
"That's ridiculous." Monogram said. "Why would he be afraid of tweezers?"
"Sam Sideblow told me Perry's never been the same around them since Gustav accidentally poked him in the eye-"
"Poked him in the eye? Agent P, this isn't going anywhere NEAR your eye worst that would happen is I'd poke your foot- WILL YOU H
Talk To My Agent- Part One“I hate this bandanna. I hate this bandanna. I hate this bandanna. I hate this bandanna.”Talk To My Agent- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
“Phineas and Ferb!” Candace snapped. “Will you make that brick with legs shut up?”
“Hold on, Perry.” Linda said. “We’re almost home.”
“But Perry, you look so cute in your bandanna.” Phineas said, patting the side of Perry’s carrier.
“Your vision is blocked by the darkness in my carrier. You can’t see the hideousness of the prancing purple pony print.”
“Prancing purple pony print.” Ferb said. “Prancing purple pony print. Prancing purple pony print.”
“I hate this bandanna.” Perry said.
“Ohmygoshh! Everyone be QUIET!” Candace yelled.
“Candace, that’s too loud.” Linda said.
They pulled into the driveway. Phineas and Ferb hopped out. Phineas picked up Perry’s pet carrier and carried him inside.
As soon as they got into the boys
A Model Agent- Part One“To squeak or not to squeak, that is the question.” Said a mouse agent.A Model Agent- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Peter the panda chewed absent-mindedly on a bamboo stalk.
Clara the chicken eyed Wendell the worm.
“Thank you for that lovely opening speech, Marlow.” Monogram clapped his hands. “I have no idea what was in it, but I am sure it was just wonderful.”
“I wasn’t done yet.” Marlow muttered bitterly. He stormed off of the stage.
“Anyway, to start, thank you all for coming to the annual O.W.C.A awards dinner.” Monogram said. “It’s extremely pleasing to have so many talented agents here at once.”
Kyle the kangaroo picked his nose. Devon the dog launched a pea on his spoon. It hit Darren the duck in the head.
“Do they always have to serve Carl’s special mashed potatoes at these things?” Perry asked Pinky the Chihuahua, poking at his food with his fork. The potatoes morphed back into their previous shape.
Nothing Special- Part One"PICK YOUR DINOSAUR."Nothing Special- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Phineas and Ferb were sitting together in a chair in front of the computer, obsessively playing Dinovillage 63. Perry was trying to sleep under the chair.
Ferb was looking through all of the dinosaurs. The computer said a dinosaur's name as Ferb hovered his mouse over each.
"BRONTOSAURUS. STEGOSAURUS. PTERODACTYL. MAIASAURUS."
"Guys, could you turn that DOWN?" Candace shouted. "I'm trying to call Jeremy! This phone call is officially going to be the one-thousandth time I have called him, and it has to be PERFECT!"
"You've counted how many times you've called Jeremy?" Phineas asked.
"T-REX." Said the computer.
"Of course!" Candace retorted, holding up a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers scribbled on it in pink pen.
"STEGOSAURUS." Said the computer. Ferb moved his mouse off of the stegosaurus and then moved it back. "STEGOSAURUS."
"Do they have a platysaurus?" Perry chattered. "Or a wormasaurus?"
"Squish-a-licious worms." Ferb said cheerfully.
"EW." Phineas and
Rivalry- Part OnePerry stared at the cookies on his desk, then up at Monogram.Rivalry- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Er I was just, baking yesterday and thought you might like them." Monogram said.
Perry raised an eyebrow.
"Fine, fine. I need to tell you something you probably aren't going to like." Monogram cleared his throat. "The man who funds this agency is thinking about funding a different one. A.W.C.A, the Agency Which Consists of Animals. This agency is run by my sister, Franny. She formed the agency a couple of weeks ago just to irk me. And now, we may actually have to close down this organization. Unless we prove that our agency is superior. And the way we are doing that well Franny kind of set up a every-other-day fight. Whoever wins keeps their company."
Perry smiled at him. He loved fighting. Unless, of course, it was with rogue agent Dennis.
"These fights won't be fights to the death, in case you're concerned. It's just a fight to knock the opponent down. It's an 'If they stay down for fiv
Handsome- Part One"Look how much money I have left for this month." Perry slammed a few bills down on the table.Handsome- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Darren the duck counted them. "Twenty-eight dollars? Wow. I guess it's a good thing you don't have to buy yourself food and shelter. What did you blow all of your cash on?"
"Randy the reindeer? Did you lose a bet with him or something?"
"You think a security agent would make a bet? No way. I had to pay him to oppose Ernest the eagle."
"Oh that's right. Agent E's in some kind of debate, isn't he?"
"Yep. He's debating against me being able to see my pups ever again. Randy's agreed to fight for me. The whole agency is invited to watch. Whoever wins the cute little debate decides the fate of my children."
"That's kind of harsh."
Perry shrugged. "If Randy loses, do you think he'll give me my money back?"
"Why did you choose Randy out of all the security agents?" Darren asked.
"He gave me a nod once when I walked past him. He's the friendliest one I've met so far."
"Wow. Do you need any he
Attached- Part One"All right. Let's see your mission " Monogram was looking over his papers.Attached- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry sat in front of the big television screen, chewing on his teddy bear's ear.
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been-" Monogram looked up. "Oh no. Not the bear again. Agent P, we talked about this last week. Why can't you leave the bear at home?"
Perry shrugged. He didn't know why he liked to take Snugglebear everywhere. It just made him feel happy for some reason. Yesterday Phineas had made some modifications to Snugglebear while Perry was asleep. Perry wasn't sure what they were, though, because he had grabbed the bear from Phineas before Phineas had a chance to explain each new feature.
"Agent P, you're too old to get attached to a ratty toy. Put the bear down."
"Says the man who has a Ducky Momo toy in his bedroom." Perry mumbled.
"Don't make me come down there, Agent P. Put the bear on the desk."
Perry continued to chew the bear's ear. The ear must have been close to a button that Phineas added in, beca
Return of Summer- Part One"IT'S SUMMMMEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"Return of Summer- Part One3 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry jumped. He had been sitting at the window waiting for the boys to come home. Apparently he must have missed the bus coming in front of the house, because Phineas had just materialized behind him.
"SUMMER! YEAH!" Phineas started dancing. Ferb silently danced next to him.
"Where did you two come from?" Perry asked, once he had gotten over his initial shock.
"We used our new teleporting devices we built in science class." Phineas said. "The teacher said we could do whatever we wanted because it was the last day, so Ferb and I built these."
"Buford chugged three sodas and Irving danced on the teacher's desk." Ferb added.
"Yeah. Maybe the teacher should have put down some rules." Phineas said. "But now it's SUMMER! My favorite season!"
"And you're home all day!" Perry said.
"And you're not." Phineas said sadly.
"I have an excuse." Perry held up his paw. "Can't fight until it's fully healed."
"Yay!" Phineas said. "I mean, I'm not happy Dennis broke your
Attack of the OWCA- Part OneSnow and ice had completely coated Danville Mountain.Attack of the OWCA- Part One3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Trevor the Doberman pinscher stared at the white blanket of snow through his binoculars, trying to find some kind of sign of life. He was wearing five layers of heavy jackets, and yet he was still shivering.
"Nothing yet?" Harry the husky asked him.
"Perhaps the information we got from Cecily was wrong."
"Cecily's never wrong." Trevor said. He lowered his binoculars as Perry the platypus approached them, completely unrecognizable in his heavy coat and goggles.
"No one's down there?" He wheezed.
"No one so far." Trevor responded. "I'm sorry. Cecily heard they were meeting here. She was almost certain."
"We'll wait a little longer, and then we'll leave before I catch hypothermia." Perry said.
"It is kind of cold up here, isn't it?" Harry commented.
Perry didn't respond. He began nervously chewing on one of his gloves.
Trevor looked through the binoculars again. Suddenly he saw movement.
"Down there!" He barked. "They're her
Spooked- Part One"Okay, Agent P. Just sit right up there." Carl patted down a spot on the O.W.C.A examination table.Spooked- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry gave him a skeptical look.
"I know, Monogram usually does this. But I've been studying! And maybe I can get promoted to vet!"
"You can't, Carl." Monogram said. He was sitting nearby, reading a book.
"Anyway, let's get your vaccine over with." Carl went to the cupboard.
Perry sat down on the table and looked at Monogram's book, "Behind the scenes with Ducky Momo".
"Okay." Carl picked up the shot and pressed it so that a little bit of liquid squirted out the top. "Now what, sir?"
"Carl, why did you just do that?"
"Push some of the vaccine out?"
"You always do that!"
"Only if it's over the amount that it needs to be! The amount was perfect! Now you have to set it up again!"
Perry was starting to wonder if he should be concerned.
Carl sighed and tried again. "Okay. Now I give it to him?"
"NO, Carl, you have to clean off a spot on his arm first. PLEASE do this correctly so I
Jingles- Part One"These things lie."Jingles- Part One4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"It's just a fortune."
"It's lying, Pinky. It says I am going to journey to a far-away land."
"Maybe you will one day."
"The last thing I need is to be relocated just because a stupid cookie predicted it." Perry tossed his fortune cookie back into a bowl on the table and turned the fortune over in his hands. "What's this?"
"Your lucky number should be on the back."
Perry looked up at the ceiling. "Of course."
"What?" Pinky asked.
"It says thirteen."
Perry handed him the fortune.
"Wow. It does. Well, these things aren't always true."
"So you admit it, then."
Pinky sighed. "Fine, the fortune lied."
"The fortune AND the cookie lied. They lied together. I chose the cookie and it GAVE me the lying fortune that was inside of it. Therefore, the cookie is guilty by association. The cookie is a liar."
"That's probably the first time anyone has accused a cookie of being guilty by association. Are you going to eat that, by the way?" Pinky pointed at the cookie, wh
New In Town- Part OneErnest the eagle entered the small apartment. “Hello, Brandon. What are you doing this morning?”New In Town- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
“Making breakfast, but we’re all out of eggs.” Brandon the bulldog said, dumping an entire carton of eggs into the wastebin that matched the kitchen counter.
A laughtrack sounded.
“By golly, Brandon, what will we eat now?” Ernest said.
“Why Ernie, we can always have tomatoes.” Brandon said.
“Gee whilikers, Brandy! Tomatoes aren’t a breakfast food.”
The laughtrack sounded again.
“Really? Because I just created a new recipe… tomato pancakes!” Brandon flipped a burning pancake onto the floor.
The laughtrack sounded.
“Oh, Brandy. You and your tomato pancakes.” Ernest said.
The camera zoomed in on both Brandon and Ernest as they shrugged. The theme song medley began to play.
“Stop snickering, Agent!” Ernest the eagle commanded.
Perry tried to make his expression as blank as p
Happy Robot-tines Day- Part OneSampson the squirrel hopped over to the next tree branch. He loved being a squirrel on this squirrel-ful day. There was no other thing he could possibly imagine being. Squirrels were just so squirrel-ful, and he, Sampson, was happy to be one.Happy Robot-tines Day- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Sampson stopped hopping for a moment to take in his surroundings. He became aware of a few voices behind him.
Sampson pricked up his ears and turned toward the source of the sounds. He saw two men walking behind some creature he had never seen before in his life.
Sampson knew about all the creatures in the forest: the fox-ful foxes, the bird-ful birds, and the bear-ful bears. But he had never seen an animal quite like this.
“…why we can’t just say ‘Get Out’.” The shorter of the two men was saying. “Cryptic messages never work.”
“A simple one will work less.” The creature said. “In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to over-analyze things. Besides, we don’t want to reveal