On The Run- Part OnePerry jumped up onto Candace's bed, patted down a spot, and curled up into a ball.
Candace's bed was very soft, especially after a hard day at work.
"PHINEAS!" Candace screamed.
Perry chattered. He had been noticed.
"GET YOUR UGLY BLUE BREADLOAF WITH A TAIL OFF OF MY BED!"
"Coming, Candace!" Phineas said. He came into Candace's room. "Oh, there you are, Perry."
"Get him off!" Candace said.
"Okay, okay." Phineas picked Perry up.
"What are you still doing awake, anyway?" Candace asked.
"Ferb and I are reading about opossums." Phineas said.
"Boring." Candace said.
"Not really." Phineas said. "Opossums have opposable thumbs on their back feet. And there's a type of shrimp called the opossum shrimp. You can see through them."
"KEEP IT DOWN!" Linda shouted from her bedroom. She didn't care how late the kids stayed up, so long as they didn't keep her awake.
"Goodnight, Candace." Phineas whispered. He carried Perry back to his room.
Ferb was holding a giant book entitled "OPOSSUMS ARE AWESOME.
Banter- Part One"Oh oh Delores I can't believe it you were so young "Banter- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
The handsome young man placed a hand on the beautiful girl's arm. "Delores can you hear me, somehow? Oh Delores what caused your end?"
"Dating you." Perry answered, stuffing his mouth full of popcorn. "Does he die yet?"
"Perry!" Pinky the Chihuahua chided. "Be quiet! Other people are trying to watch the movie."
"You said they both die at the end." Perry said. "I came here expecting to see some sick awesome death scenes. Where's the death, huh? So far only Dewhatsis has kicked the bucket."
"It's so beautiful." Peter the panda sobbed from next to Perry.
"Yeah, that desk they got in the background is pretty nice looking. Wonder how long they took to shellac it. Why do they keep zooming in on that guy's face? They need to get some more shots of the desk. I bet that desk didn't even get full pay for being in the movie. I bet he's an un-credited appearance. We need to fight for that desk's rights!"
Taunted- Part OnePerry had been sleeping peacefully until he heard thunder crackle furiously outside. He jolted awake and looked around.Taunted- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Phineas sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "Rain." He murmured.
Ferb sat up as well. He looked out the window, and then slumped back down against his pillow.
"I'll be right back." Phineas crawled out of bed and left the room.
Perry felt drowsy as the rain pattered against the window. He slowly started to fall asleep.
Another crash sounded from outside. Perry yawned and went over to Phineas's pillow. He patted down a spot and curled up.
He glanced over at Ferb. Ferb was staring nervously at the wall in front of his bed.
"It's not going to fall over." Perry said sleepily.
"Hm?" Ferb asked.
"The wall isn't going to come down from the rain. If that's what you were worried about."
Ferb shook his head. "You said you would tell me more stories from when you were younger. You never got around to it."
"I'll tell you some in the morning. I'll be less tired then."
Ferb sat and l
Possess- Part One"Happy, happy Valentine's day!" Pinky said, carrying a huge box of flowers, candy and hearts into Perry's lair.Possess- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry didn't look at him. "What is that junk doing here?"
"Aw, come on." Pinky said, plopping the box in front of him. "You keep an old moldy sandwich and a stitch in a box, but you think my valentines are junk?"
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Cheer up! Just because you're technically single, that doesn't mean you have to mope all day. Love is in the air!" Pinky spun around. "And not just for us. I heard Isabella say she was going to give a valentine to Phineas."
"If she can find him." Perry muttered.
"I'm not in the mood, Pinky. Take your stupid hearts and flowers out of here."
"I'd think you'd be super happy today. You're finally home! Bernie rescued you from Danville Wood!"
Devon the dog climbed out from inside the box. Candy spilled onto the floor. "And he saved me, too!"
"How long have you been in there?" Pinky asked.
"I was lying in here when you started putting stuff in.
Caring- Part OnePhineas ran around the house. "I AM FREE! AT LAST! FREEDOM!"Caring- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Ferb and Perry sat watching him. Perry was happy Phineas had gotten the cast off of his knee, but now Phineas had to release all of that energy that he'd built up ever since his knee was broken.
"He's like one of those windup toys." Perry said, watching Phineas do his fourth lap.
"That never stops." Ferb added.
"You know what this means, Ferb?" Phineas skidded to a stop. "We can build stuff again!"
Ferb pumped his fist into the air.
"WOOHOO! Let's dance!" Phineas said.
The two boys started dancing.
Candace entered the room. "Would you keep it down? I am trying to tell Stacy about the time that Jeremy looked at me!"
"Sounds very interesting." Perry said sarcastically. He loved the fact that Candace couldn't understand him.
"We're partying, Candace. We have to be loud." Phineas said.
"Well, party SOME OTHER TIME."
"I can't help it! I need to jump! And run! And get outside. I can FINALLY sit under the tree again!" Phineas ran di
Operational- Part OnePerry sat in the middle of the trampoline, looking as mindless as possible. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were bouncing him.Operational- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Maybe we can all count to three and jump at the same time." Ferb said. "Then Perry would go REALLY high."
"But what if he goes so high that he flies off the edge of the trampoline?" Phineas asked.
Isabella giggled, but Perry didn't know why. The idea of falling from a great height onto the ground did not amuse him.
"Okay, stop jumping." Phineas said. They all stopped. "One two THREE!"
They jumped. Perry was bounced to about a foot in the air.
"I wish we had a trampoline in our backyard." Phineas said. "Mom says maybe Ferb will get one on his birthday."
"Until then, you can always come over." Isabella said, jumping extra high. "Does Perry like to play fetch?"
"Yeah, we used to play it all the time when he was a baby." Phineas said. "But lately he just sits around. Maybe he'll play."
"Maybe he won't." Perry chattered.
Phineas gave him a pleadin
On The Run- Part TwoMaude was fine, suffering nothing more than a few bruises and a broken nose. Since the medical wing was being repaired, (an attack by a rogue agent named Percy had been to blame for that, luckily his memory had been wiped and he had been placed in a zoo) Maude had to stay on a makeshift bed in the O.W.C.A art gallery.On The Run- Part Two2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Which meant all the art had to come out, in order to make room.
Maude glared at Princess as she took down all of her paintings and designs.
"Those are beautiful." Harry the husky puppy commented. He had some art to take as well.
"Nah." Princess shook her head. "They're terrible. The kind of art only a nutjob would like."
"Well, I don't like your flower paintings. Flowers are boring. But I like the skateboards and explosion pictures you made."
Maude fumed. She was notorious for her flower paintings.
"And this clay pizza is cool." Harry said.
"It looks like a rock." Princess objected.
"I'm gonna go chew on things." Harry said. "See you later."
"I'm not gonna lose m
Survival- Part OneMonogram cleared his throat. "The reason I called you here, Carl is because I have some unfortunate news."Survival- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Is the Mexican food station gone again?" Carl asked.
"Honestly, Carl, is food ALL you think about?" Monogram huffed. "No, it's still there. And stocked with plenty of tacos. Carl, I have discovered that the rogues are tied in with the disappearance of some of our best agents."
Carl counted on his fingers. "So far, we're missing Agent C, Agent P, Agent L, Agent K, and Agent D, right?"
"Yes. And the only reason we know they're missing is their owners put up lost cat, lizard, dog, panda and kangaroo posters."
"I still can't believe Agent K's host family can fit him in their house." Carl said.
"They're a nice AND impressive family." Monogram said. "I've figured out that the rogues have been capturing our agents and then releasing them into Danville Wood. I've placed surveyor agents around the area, but I'm worried-"
"Can't we just track the missing agents?" Carl asked.
"I was a
Nothing Special- Part Three"What the heck is this horrible racket called?" Perry demanded once Monogram had left.Nothing Special- Part Three2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"It's called music." Paulo replied.
"No, that's called 'noise'." Perry said. "Or maybe 'cacophony', I can't tell which."
The penguin glared at him. "Look, beaverduck. I've been conducting the O.W.C.A orchestra since before you were hatched. I know more about music than anyone here."
Perry smirked. "Sure you do."
"Of course. I know more about it than you can ever learn in your lifetime."
Paulo stuck out his tongue at Perry. He waved his arms, and the tuba began to play.
Or rather, blare. Perry cringed. "So this is where those strange noises are coming from."
"Got any suggestions?" Paulo snapped.
"Yeah. Tune that guy's violin, slow down the tuba's part, and cut down the tambourine's part."
"All right. I guess you like sounding like a breaking-down car. Just please tell me you're never doing this live."
"We aren't ready yet."
"That's for sure."
"You can either listen, or get out
Banter- Part Four"How's this?" Ferb asked. He made a soft chattering noise.Banter- Part Four2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Sounds like a very strange way of saying cup." Perry told him.
"Oh, come on! That was a good chatter."
"Not really. You pronounce cup like this: 'Cup.' You said 'Kuh-kuh-cup'."
"I should teach you how to speak English." Ferb said.
"I don't have the vocal cords for that."
"Hhhhhhhhhhhgggh." Perry said.
"Close enough." Ferb decided.
"A lot closer than your stuttered 'cup'."
"Oh, stop it."
"Let's teach Phineas platypus." Perry said.
"No matter." Perry said. "Phineas, repeat after me. Say 'red'."
"That's 'fireplace', but very good!"
"His snore meant fireplace?" Ferb asked.
"Yep." Perry put his ear closer to Phineas as he slept. "Now he's snoring 'Fireplace anvil tortilla chip'. Needs to work on his diction, though. His words are slurring together."
"It must be hard to know a language that consists of chatters and snorts." Ferb said.
"I knew it ever since I was a baby. Not hard."
"I don't r
Nothing Special- Part SevenMonogram opened the O.W.C.A doors. The inside of the agency was completely dark.Nothing Special- Part Seven2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Come on." He whispered.
Perry, Monty, and a couple of security agents followed him inside.
"We need to search for any agents that were left behind after the attack. I doubt there will be any rogues here. Split up. If for any reason you get into trouble "
"We send out a signal." Monty finished. "We'll be fine."
The five of them all went off in separate directions.
The agency looked terrible. Everything had either been smashed or vandalized. A light bulb was dangling from a hole in the ceiling.
Perry looked around for a niche where an agent might hide. All of the potential hiding places he found were empty.
He made his way to the storage closet and flung it open.
Also empty. And a mess.
"So you decided to come back."
Perry whirled around.
Manfred was smiling at him.
"I can't find the other agents." Perry said. Manfred was the last creature he wanted to see right now.
"They aren't here." Manfred said.
Nothing Special- Part SixPerry jolted awake, back in the guestroom bed. He reached for his phone and dialed Ferb's number.Nothing Special- Part Six2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
His latest dream had been about a unicorn. It hadn't seemed strange until the unicorn started talking about wires and binary code.
Maybe the unicorn had given him ray information for Ferb to analyze. If Perry's dreams were accurate, maybe he would be able to figure out what the rogues were planning.
"Hello?" Ferb said, sounding tired.
"Oh, sorry. Is it still night? I had another dream about the ray. Well, it wasn't about the ray, but is Phineas crying in the background?"
"Gosh, is he okay?"
"His back hurts."
"That badly? What happened?"
"Where? Is Linda there? Can she help him?"
"I called her. She's coming. He'll be fine. What was your dream?"
"Uh magnetic fuse box making an electronic disturbance, numbers are connected to animal microchips and then there's some blue wire that is connected to a system to recognize them. Ferb, are you SURE Phineas is okay?"
Fight Or Flight- Part One"Which way did he go, Carl?"Fight Or Flight- Part One2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"He's under the desk, sir."
Traitor. Perry thought. He tried to make himself smaller under Monogram's desk.
"Who grows thorns in their gardens?" Monogram asked Carl.
"I don't know, sir."
Monogram's face suddenly appeared. Perry backed up and hissed.
"Come on, Agent P. Come on out."
Perry gave a low growl.
"I don't know why he's so uncooperative today." Monogram said, dragging Perry out from under the desk. "He never used to hide when he had a thorn stuck in his foot. He knows I won't hurt him when I pull it out."
"It's not that he's worried about, sir. He's developed a fear of tweezers."
Perry tried to pull his foot away from Monogram.
"That's ridiculous." Monogram said. "Why would he be afraid of tweezers?"
"Sam Sideblow told me Perry's never been the same around them since Gustav accidentally poked him in the eye-"
"Poked him in the eye? Agent P, this isn't going anywhere NEAR your eye worst that would happen is I'd poke your foot- WILL YOU H
Banter- Part Two"Help save the giant pandas in China." Carrie the cat said, sticking a bumper sticker on Perry's arm.Banter- Part Two2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry looked at it. It had a picture of a baby panda on it. "SAVE THE PANDAS" was printed across the sticker.
"What are you doing this for?" Perry asked.
Carrie handed a sticker to Pinky. "To save the giant pandas."
"But you're a cat."
"If cats start going extinct, it'll be nice to have the pandas on our side." Carrie said.
"So now I'm your walking advertisement?" Perry asked.
"It comes off with water." Carrie said. "I think."
"That's okay. I have my chainsaw if all else fails."
Carrie's eyes grew wide.
"Carrie. I'm kidding."
Carrie breathed a sigh of relief and pattered toward a group of iguanas.
Peter the panda skipped into the O.W.C.A main room. He ripped the sticker off of Perry's arm and looked at it. "Cool sticker!"
Perry gave a yelp and fell to the ground, clutching his arm.
"Oops." Peter said, looking at the back of the sticker, which was decorated with teal fuzz. "Sorry."
Rememberance- Part OneSo this was what it felt like when you were being asphyxiated.Rememberance- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry hadn't actually been trained for fighting swamp vipers, but he felt he was doing pretty good. He'd filled his lungs with oxygen and tried to make himself take up more space than he needed.
The snake wasn't very pleased. He hadn't expected his prey to be so hard to squeeze to death.
"Food." He hissed.
"Living organism. Trying to survive here." Perry responded.
"No. You are food."
"I'm not sure we're gonna agree anytime soon."
The snake lunged for his face. Perry pushed its neck away.
His arms and his legs were free, but his middle wasn't. And yet the snake was winning. It was a slow process, but Perry knew it was winning.
Desperately he looked for a way out. He was surrounded by trees, but he couldn't just get up and go get a branch to whack the snake on the head with.
How did platypuses even survive in the wild?
"Death." The snake said. "You smell like death."
Perry found it much harder to breathe now. He started gasp
A Model Agent- Part One“To squeak or not to squeak, that is the question.” Said a mouse agent.A Model Agent- Part One1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Peter the panda chewed absent-mindedly on a bamboo stalk.
Clara the chicken eyed Wendell the worm.
“Thank you for that lovely opening speech, Marlow.” Monogram clapped his hands. “I have no idea what was in it, but I am sure it was just wonderful.”
“I wasn’t done yet.” Marlow muttered bitterly. He stormed off of the stage.
“Anyway, to start, thank you all for coming to the annual O.W.C.A awards dinner.” Monogram said. “It’s extremely pleasing to have so many talented agents here at once.”
Kyle the kangaroo picked his nose. Devon the dog launched a pea on his spoon. It hit Darren the duck in the head.
“Do they always have to serve Carl’s special mashed potatoes at these things?” Perry asked Pinky the Chihuahua, poking at his food with his fork. The potatoes morphed back into their previous shape.
Return of Summer- Part One"IT'S SUMMMMEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"Return of Summer- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Perry jumped. He had been sitting at the window waiting for the boys to come home. Apparently he must have missed the bus coming in front of the house, because Phineas had just materialized behind him.
"SUMMER! YEAH!" Phineas started dancing. Ferb silently danced next to him.
"Where did you two come from?" Perry asked, once he had gotten over his initial shock.
"We used our new teleporting devices we built in science class." Phineas said. "The teacher said we could do whatever we wanted because it was the last day, so Ferb and I built these."
"Buford chugged three sodas and Irving danced on the teacher's desk." Ferb added.
"Yeah. Maybe the teacher should have put down some rules." Phineas said. "But now it's SUMMER! My favorite season!"
"And you're home all day!" Perry said.
"And you're not." Phineas said sadly.
"I have an excuse." Perry held up his paw. "Can't fight until it's fully healed."
"Yay!" Phineas said. "I mean, I'm not happy Dennis broke your
Fight Or Flight- Part Four"He's coming to."Fight Or Flight- Part Four1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Is he all right?"
"He'll be fine."
"Carl, why does he look so pale?"
"Perry? Can you hear me?"
Perry's forehead felt cold and damp. It also hurt. He forced himself to open his eyes.
"He's back." A man said, taking a washcloth away from Perry's face. "Quiet, now. Don't startle him."
Perry blinked. Everything was a watery blur. He struggled to sit up.
"Lay down." The man insisted, gently pushing him back onto a pillow. "Rest."
Unfamiliar faces were looking down at him. Two middle-aged men with mustaches a young man with red hair the man who had been tending to him had black hair and blue eyes
"He looks dizzy." One of the men said. He had white hair and a white mustache. "His eyes are unfocused. Carl, why are his eyes unfocused?"
"I I'm not sure, sir." Stammered the redhead.
"Perry?" The white-mustached man said. "Are you feeling all right?"
Perry looked to his left, where no people stood. Across from him was another bed. Something w
Nothing Special- Part One"PICK YOUR DINOSAUR."Nothing Special- Part One2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Phineas and Ferb were sitting together in a chair in front of the computer, obsessively playing Dinovillage 63. Perry was trying to sleep under the chair.
Ferb was looking through all of the dinosaurs. The computer said a dinosaur's name as Ferb hovered his mouse over each.
"BRONTOSAURUS. STEGOSAURUS. PTERODACTYL. MAIASAURUS."
"Guys, could you turn that DOWN?" Candace shouted. "I'm trying to call Jeremy! This phone call is officially going to be the one-thousandth time I have called him, and it has to be PERFECT!"
"You've counted how many times you've called Jeremy?" Phineas asked.
"T-REX." Said the computer.
"Of course!" Candace retorted, holding up a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers scribbled on it in pink pen.
"STEGOSAURUS." Said the computer. Ferb moved his mouse off of the stegosaurus and then moved it back. "STEGOSAURUS."
"Do they have a platysaurus?" Perry chattered. "Or a wormasaurus?"
"Squish-a-licious worms." Ferb said cheerfully.
"EW." Phineas and
If It's Not Broken- Part One“I can’t get into my email.” Phineas said.If It's Not Broken- Part One1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Perry hopped into his lap and looked at the computer screen.
“It says ‘THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN DEACTIVATED FOR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY’. Gosh, Phinny. I didn’t know you were guilty of suspicious activity. Are you a smuggler or something?”
“It says I have to follow some steps to recover my account.” Phineas said.
“Step one: Put in the exact month, day and year you created this account.” Perry read. “Step two: Put in the exact month, day and year you were last able to access this account.”
“WHO REMEMBERS THAT SORT OF THING?!” Phineas shouted.
“Dear Diary: Today, March 5, is the very day I created my Danvillemail account. I should write down every day I can access it because I have no life.” Perry mocked.
“Danvillemail.com doesn’t work.” Phineas said. “I know! Ferb and I should make our own email system! Ferbmail! FERB!
The Sounds Of Music- Part OnePerry woke up towards the middle of the night. The menu screen for ‘On The Trail’ was on the television.The Sounds Of Music- Part One1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ferb and Candace were snoring on the couch. Phineas, however, was mumbling in his sleep.
Perry looked sleepily towards Phineas.
“Perry…” Phineas said again.
Phineas still didn’t open his eyes. “Make all the people go away.”
“There are too many people around me.” Phineas murmured.
Perry yawned and tried to lift Phineas off the couch. Phineas was very heavy.
He dragged Phineas upstairs and into his room. Then he lifted him into his bed.
Completely worn out, Perry flopped down on the floor.
“Perry…” Phineas whimpered, rolling over in his sleep. “Perry, make all the people go away.”
“There are no people here.” Perry wheezed.
“YOU.” Phineas growled menacingly.
Perry stood up and backed out o
Operational- Part TwoPhineas put Perry down on top of a heating pad and wrapped a blanket around him. "Is that comfortable? Is the heat helping your tummy?"Operational- Part Two2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"Do you need anything? Like water?"
"Nah. I'm fine. I'll just snooze, if it's all right with you."
"I just want everything to be perfect." Phineas said.
"This is perfect. I'm happy you're here. Don't worry. I'll be fine."
Phineas smiled at him.
"I brought books." Ferb said, putting a pile of books down by Perry. "And some of them are ones about going to the hospital."
"Ferb, you didn't steal those from the doctor's office, did you?"
"Of course not. Doctor Wallace gave them to me."
"Why didn't he give ME any?"
"Maybe because you kicked him through the wall when he tested your reflexes."
Phineas thought for a minute. "Huh. Maybe that had SOMETHING to do with it."
Ferb opened one of the books. He handed it to Phineas.
Phineas cleared his throat. "Going to the hospital. When people get sick, they sometimes are so sick that they need to go t
Happy Robot-tines Day- Part OneSampson the squirrel hopped over to the next tree branch. He loved being a squirrel on this squirrel-ful day. There was no other thing he could possibly imagine being. Squirrels were just so squirrel-ful, and he, Sampson, was happy to be one.Happy Robot-tines Day- Part One1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Sampson stopped hopping for a moment to take in his surroundings. He became aware of a few voices behind him.
Sampson pricked up his ears and turned toward the source of the sounds. He saw two men walking behind some creature he had never seen before in his life.
Sampson knew about all the creatures in the forest: the fox-ful foxes, the bird-ful birds, and the bear-ful bears. But he had never seen an animal quite like this.
“…why we can’t just say ‘Get Out’.” The shorter of the two men was saying. “Cryptic messages never work.”
“A simple one will work less.” The creature said. “In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to over-analyze things. Besides, we don’t want to reveal
Nothing Special- Part Eight"Is he okay?" Phineas asked.Nothing Special- Part Eight2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
"He'll be fine." Monogram said. "He's very bruised, but he's fine."
Perry lay in Monogram's lap. Monogram was sitting on his couch, with Phineas and Ferb on either side of him, bandaging Perry's wounds.
"His arm looks bad." Phineas said.
"I know. We already scanned it with an x-ray device. I'm going to have to set it." Monogram said. "Are you boys all right?"
"Fine." Ferb said.
"Me too." Phineas said. "Even though I'm still kind of tingly."
"Drink lots of water." Monogram advised.
Phineas frowned. "I don't wanna spend all day in the bathroom!"
Ferb stroked Perry's head, and Perry purred. His arm was throbbing and everything else hurt, but his boys were safe.
"This will hurt a little." Monogram warned. He snapped Perry's arm back into position.
"All done." Monogram said cheerfully. He wrapped Perry's arm up in a bandage.
"How long will he have to wear that?" Phineas asked.
"A few weeks." Monogram answered. "Dennis is incredibly powerful. But Ca
New In Town- Part OneErnest the eagle entered the small apartment. “Hello, Brandon. What are you doing this morning?”New In Town- Part One11 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
“Making breakfast, but we’re all out of eggs.” Brandon the bulldog said, dumping an entire carton of eggs into the wastebin that matched the kitchen counter.
A laughtrack sounded.
“By golly, Brandon, what will we eat now?” Ernest said.
“Why Ernie, we can always have tomatoes.” Brandon said.
“Gee whilikers, Brandy! Tomatoes aren’t a breakfast food.”
The laughtrack sounded again.
“Really? Because I just created a new recipe… tomato pancakes!” Brandon flipped a burning pancake onto the floor.
The laughtrack sounded.
“Oh, Brandy. You and your tomato pancakes.” Ernest said.
The camera zoomed in on both Brandon and Ernest as they shrugged. The theme song medley began to play.
“Stop snickering, Agent!” Ernest the eagle commanded.
Perry tried to make his expression as blank as p