What you need"Kaidan,"What you need3 years ago in Romance More Like This
staticky over the intercom,
and in that one word,
I know something's wrong.
"Kaidan, can you...
can you come down here?"
His voice is quiet.
Breathed into the comlink.
And pleading with me.
"I'm coming, Shepard."
I'm already moving,
taking the turns through the hallways towards his quarters.
I don't ask what it is.
I already know.
Everyone on the ship knows.
Shepard's locked himself in his room a grand total of one time,
and that was after the destruction of Earth.
this is Earth all over again.
I tried to go to him before.
In the hours after we'd boarded, I'd went to his room,
only to find it locked tight and refusing to budge.
I'd called his name,
banging on the metal with my fist.
and when that didn't work,
I resorted to
He still didn't answer.
I was worried,
but I stopped trying after a few days.
I knew he'd come around eventually.
And I guess I was right.
Role ReversalElla Shepard sat slumped in the pilot’s chair while the vessel’s displays blinked and bleeped reassuringly around her. Hours earlier, the Normandy had barely escaped the blast radius of a nuclear bomb - one that had been detonated on the surface of Virmire by Moreau’s assault team. The ship’s hull was, thankfully, still intact.Role Reversal1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
Unfortunately, the same could not be said of her crew.
Since then, Ella had been maintaining a mindless holding pattern while awaiting further directions about where they would be delivering the salarian infiltration team. Having nothing to occupy her attention made dwelling on the loss of her teammate nearly impossible to avoid.
She couldn’t stop thinking about Ash’s last moments, trapped planetside as she’d watched the Normandy fly away. Had she felt abandoned? Scared? She thought about the close-knit family the soldier had left behind. Soon, they would receive the news that they’d lost a daughter, a sister - and
Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 1Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 13 years ago in Drama More Like This
Let him go!
Hold on, Kaidan...
Don't give up... saved my life, and I can't... Oh Goddess... Please pull through, Kaidan... We all need you, but Shepard... I'll go see how he's doing... be right back... better not go anywhere...
Hey Kaidan... Don't know if you can hear me... take my chances... Don't die, Kaidan... You've got to fight... need you in this... I could use you... Come on Kaidan, fight... that's an order...
Back when... fought Saren... glimpse of Shepard's mind... just the way he looks at you... seen you look back... Shepard... his main reason to fight... lost so much already... Please live, Kaidan, for his sake as much as yours... You're a good friend... care for yo
In the end: Part II“Careful with that,”In the end: Part II2 years ago in Romance More Like This
and sets the glass down,
too far for Kaidan to get at it again.
His hand is still on Kaidan’s shoulder
and Kaidan is deathly white
and about to faint.
His lips part,
“I must be really drunk,”
and Shepard’s amusement morphs into something close to guilt.
“Sorry about that.
I probably could’ve handled this better.
Garrus told me where he thought you’d be, and…
I just thought I’d stop in.
Kaidan’s still trying to breathe.
He wants to reach out and touch him.
To assure himself that he’s real,
that he’s here.
But he can’t be.
It’s just not possible,
because he’d heard the news,
straight from Anderson’s lips,
the Normandy’s gone
so is the Commander.
Shepard’s fingers are firm and steady on his arm,
his eyes are the gray that Kaidan remembers so well,
In the end: Part IKaidan isn't sure how many drinks he's had.In the end: Part I2 years ago in Romance More Like This
The bartender is looking wary
and his tongue feels heavy in his mouth,
so he assumes he can down a few more before he's completely wasted.
He's been drinking heavily all week.
It always happens this time of year.
a quick-witted turian-
has become something of a sympathetic voice in his life,
nodding to him when he comes through the door
and mixing up the shard wine before Kaidan even asks.
The drink is batarian in nature and origin.
He hates it.
the eye-watering repercussions
when he finally chokes it all down.
He remembers going out to the Citadel,
looking for something good for poker night,
because Joker decided that he'd want to try his hand at cards, for once,
and Liara said she might play,
And he'd look through the menu and there it would be,
and white-hot in your throat,
and he'd whip out his credits and buy the whole damned cask,
because it was all wor
Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 5Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 53 years ago in Drama More Like This
The Catalyst was the Citadel... All of this time, it had been right under their noses... And now, the Reapers had managed to snatch it away from them in order to bring it into Earth's orbit, right within Reapers controlled territory.
Kaidan couldn't exactly say that it came out as a complete surprise, though. After all, throughout each cycle, it seemed that the Citadel had always played a key role... Each new civilisation that had discovered it believing that the technology of the colossal deep-space station and mass relays had once belonged to some ancient sentient race that had then mysteriously vanished.
Fascinating how quick they were to trust that it was then perfectly safe to start inhabiting, and completely ignore the potential warning signs, including the enigmatic "keepers".
But then again, finding out that you weren't alone in the Universe was already a pretty big thing to process... Learning that, on top
Meet the Parents: Part IISHEPARDMeet the Parents: Part II3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It's a hell of a first impression
when the people you most want to impress
come home to find you making out with their son pinned against the wall.
It doesn't help that Kaidan's blushing.
This is the most awkward silence
I have ever experienced.
Kaidan's mom's face is unreadable.
Kaidan's dad's face is thunderstruck.
Kaidan gestures to me.
He clears his throat.
"This is Commander Shepard,"
and his blush deepens even further.
Something kicks in.
I don't know if it's from years of defying others,
or just another one of my act-fast, think-later instincts.
But I yank Kaidan closer to me
and slide an arm around his waist.
"Kaidan and I are getting married,"
I say unabashedly,
like it's no big deal,
and Kaidan's mom's eyes get so big
I think they might burst.
"We stopped by and you weren't here,"
I tell them.
says Kaidan's mom faintly.
Someday You Will Be Loved Ch. 1Someday You Will Be Loved Ch. 13 years ago in Romance More Like This
Avert your eyes.
Avert your eyes.
Look away now; before he catches you staring!
You're such an idiot Markus. Such an... damn it.
"I, uh..." Want you. I want you to press me up against the wall, kiss me violently, confess to me that you've always known how I felt, that you've always felt the same way, confess that you've always wanted me the way I want you, as much as I want you. I want to marry you, settle down somewhere and adopt a bunch of kids and love happily ever after. I want- "Could you go up to the bridge and ask Joker how we're doing? I'll get up there in a minute."
Kaidan looked confused at him for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, sure."
It took all of Markus' willpower not to grab the lieutenant and pull him against himself as he left to take to elevator up from the cargo bay.
Eventually you'll have to get over him, Markus. He's not gay. It'll never happen, no matter how much you wish for it.
Even though he'd known thi
NameShepard was no stranger to fear.Name3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
No matter how the vids portrayed her, she was by no means fearless. Running along the maintenance shafts of the Citadel as Sovereign loomed overhead shooting down a Human Reaper watching the skies of Earth darken as the Reapers arrived these were horrors that still haunted her to this day.
But this was a new kind of fear. Trillions of lives had been riding on her actions six years ago as she scrambled around the galaxy gathering support for Earth's fleets. Yet this life seemed more important than any other life that had ever existed. She knew this was a narrow-minded view, but it still didn't change how she felt.
Stretched out on the bed, Shepard let her hand roam down to her belly. The tiny flutters of movement that pressed back against her palm brought a genuine smile to her face.
Several hours earlier, she and Kaidan had found out that this all-important life now kicking around at her inside at all hours of the night was a daughter. Ka
If I should fall behindI've waited for so long.If I should fall behind3 years ago in Romance More Like This
All of the harsh words thrown at one another.
All of the uneasiness,
seeing him as Cerberus' puppet
and not as the man I loved.
unwilling to forgive me
To have him back. It feels
like the best thing that's happened
in a long time.
as I curse under my breath,
trying to find a way to get him out of his off-duty suit.
the feared Spectre.
This stupid suit!
The blasted thing
has a texture like rubber
and is easy to slip out of
when you're the one slipping out of it.
fingers fumbling at one of the attachments in the back.
"This is harder than I thought it'd be-"
Shepard deftly undoes my own clasps,
motioning for me to raise my arms,
begins to pull it off.
but it hitches in my throat
along with my breath.
Should it be this easy for him,
It seems as though he's done this often.
Someday You Will Be Loved Ch. 8Someday You Will Be Loved Ch. 82 years ago in Romance More Like This
How many months had it been since Horizon? How many months had it been since he sent that voice mail, when he desperately had tried to find some way to apologize to his former commander for what he said? And he had never gotten a reply.
Shepard must hate him now.
Kaidan knew about the mission through the Omega-4 relay, the whole galaxy did by now. The first ship to ever pass through the relay and then come back. They’d destroyed the Collectors. And if he was going to believe the rumors spreading through Alliance soldiers, Markus was no longer with Cerberus.
He left them as soon as his mission to defeat the Collectors was over, just like he said he would on Horizon.
Kaidan hadn’t believed him back then, and now he was paying the price. His friendship with Shepard was ruined because he wouldn’t listen to him. Because he had been stubborn and refused to believe that Markus wasn’t with Cerberus, not really.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to get rid of the migraine h
Amalgamation - Chapter 1, SeparationAmalgamation - Chapter 1, Separation3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Game: Mass Effect 3, Dragon Age
Characters: Kaidan Alenko, Alistair, Female Shepard
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Bioware.
You probably gave up on me finishing this story. Truth is...my husband and I had a baby! And that took up some time. I never forgot about this story, however, and after the extended cut and release of Dragon Age: Inquisition, I have to finish what I started. I'm sorry for not doing this sooner.
I have edited and added to existing chapters to clean up some lore issues, especially after the Mass Effect extended cut. I endeavor to post a chapter a week from here on out. I'm so excited to bring you once again on this journey with Commander Shepard. Please message me with your thoughts. I love to hear them.
Chapter One - Separation
"Come on, Shepard. Just take five minutes. A quick drink. Then I'll go."
I've heard this line before, I tho
FallingThere's this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach,Falling3 years ago in Romance More Like This
watching Kaidan dance.
A light-headed feeling.
When he dances.
When he laughs.
When he looks at me.
it's making me feel like-
like I've been shoved out of the airlock.
That sort of thing.
Makes me feel strange, and-
Isn't that what people say?
God dammit, that sounds so fucking
It's been one of those odd days:
the ones where we sudddenly find that we have time on our hands.
Unsure of what exactly normal people do with time,
and I are spending it at the Purgatory.
Just us guys.
The music is good
the drinks are good
and Kaidan is...
A great dancer.
Which is just weird,
because before I could never picture him dancing.
It's been years since I've danced.
Garrus forced me out on the floor.
Laughed as I flailed around.
I've given up.
I'm standing here,
Fill in the blanksDarkFill in the blanks2 years ago in Romance More Like This
Waves crashing over me
in a gentle rhythm.
with no control.
I'm okay with that.
when you don't have to worry
My mind is blissfully blank.
The black waves roll over me
It would be wonderful
to stay here forever.
To give up
To throw away
of needing to take another breath
of needing to lift my chest
of needing to...
Something echoes in the back of my mind and my train of thought stops, half-processed.
Echoing throughout my inky world,
prodding me sharply,
tearing a hole in the blackness.
don't you dare!
I recoil from the words,
and feel a rush of relief as the darkness smothers them.
I embrace the ocean again;
rack my brains.
What was I saying, again?
Before I was interrupted.
Something about throwing things away.
But as my body slips beneath the waves,
Sentinel - Chapter FourChoices:Sentinel - Chapter Four3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Kaidan never regretted having that discussion with his father that night. Never regretted listening to his father's advice, arguing back and forward between what Kaidan felt was smart and what felt right.
It had taken most of the night and several Canadian lagers until they reached an answer and by then they were both tipsy, talking loudly outside on the balcony until Kaidan's mother had threatened to set the dog and the hose on them both.
He had been twenty-three then.
Now he was closing in on twenty-five, feeling just as young and inexperienced as he did back then. He wasn't as closed off anymore, learning to trust and to work with others, but he still wasn't the one that barked the loudest. He spoke when spoken too, always gave professional opinions and keeping personal ones to himself.
Nobody ever asked for personal opinions, at least not where he was.
Reliable they called him.
Reliable and smart.
At least that's what it stood on the paper.
This is why they welcomed
Heal My Wounds--Chapter 4Kaidan found himself wiping sweat from his brow as the sun bored into the dark fabric of his back, causing him to perspire more than he normally would. With the combination of both biotic and physical strength, he stood beside Liara and a few other biotics, removing masses of random matter out of the streets and into either giant piles or into the backs of giant vehicles to be re-purposed and made into new concrete. He looked at the asari to his right. Her face was focused and, although she was sweating at a ridiculous level, her breathing was even. Her biotics were definitely skilled and powerful. There was a familiar voice coming from behind them, harshly calling out orders, occasionally swearing at one of the people she was instructing.Heal My Wounds--Chapter 43 years ago in Romance More Like This
"I hear that Jack's tongue hasn't ebbed any," Liara chortled, her words breathy as she threw the last of the large blocks of rubble into a truck. Kaidan smirked and brushed a hand through his hair. The tattooed biotic's ears pric
ReceptionI'm only going because Shepard doesn't know how to put on a tie,Reception3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
and because Shepard insists on going.
To Spectres Commander Shepard and Major Alenko,
is how the letter began.
You are hereby invited to a celebratory dinner
honoring your services in the Galactic War.
That's what they're calling it.
There's no mention of the Reapers in that name.
Or of Saren,
or of Sovereign,
or of anything that associates with the suffering we've endured.
Their focus is on hope,
so the war's title was based off of the fact that the galaxy united.
they're romanticizing it.
I don't approve,
but there's nothing much to be done.
The media is already eating it up.
I don't want to go to the dinner.
Neither does Shepard.
But he pretends he does.
He jokes about how
it's another boost to my bloated ego.
Then he rubs the back of his neck and glances at the suit in the closet
when he thinks I'm not looking.
I remember how his face fell when he read the letter.
They did t
Love Is Just Another Mission p1Love Is Just Another Mission p13 years ago in Drama More Like This
Title: Love Is Just Another Mission
Game: Mass Effect
Characters/pairing: femshep/Kaidan Alenko plus an assortment of ME characters
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters.
The instant Kaidan had closed the doors to the escape pod he regretted leaving Hope behind. Truthfully, the second she commanded him to go he felt snake-like fingers of terror grip at his insides.
But he had no choice. She was Commander Shepard and he of all people knew she would carry him there if he refused to obey her orders.
And she would do the same with Joker because knowing him he'd think he could still save the ship.
"She's going to be fine, Kaidan." He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked up to meet Liara's wide eyes.
To him, she had always appeared to be less capable than she really was. Her eyes held knowledge of course but he struggled to get past the innocence in them. Although her obvious attraction to Shepard did cast a bit of a negative light on her
Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 2Hope and a Fighting Chance, Chap. 23 years ago in Drama More Like This
Kaidan had arrived at the little café about 45 minutes before the time of their meeting... And now, he was starting to regret it. For the last half hour, he had been rehearsing in his head what he was going to say, how Shepard was likely to react, different scenarios with different outcomes... Some rather good, others nothing short of catastrophic... The anticipation was simply driving him mad!
It didn't help that this was the very first time that he'd been thinking about getting involved in a serious relationship with another man either... Not that gender mattered much, as far as he was concerned. Though many men or women did develop an exclusive attraction to either gender, it was never something that Kaidan had ever really taken the time to consider.
He remembered having watched vids from the early 21st century where people were the victims of discrimination and violence for identifying as gays,
Shore LeaveShore leave.Shore Leave3 years ago in Romance More Like This
or just a drink.
We'd talked about it before.
I'd like that,
But that had been years ago,
when I'd been mindlessly flirting
and not quite serious.
there is nothing I am more serious about.
on shore leave.
With no Joker to interrupt
and no Garrus to tease
and no Liara to eavesdrop.
Just the two of us.
On shore leave.
It's not, though.
It's not really shore leave.
Because we've bought an apartment.
We've settled down.
(Or we're trying to, at least.)
We call it shore leave
as a joke.
Shepard still thinks it's hilarious.
Speaking of Shepard...
He looks slightly queasy
and I wonder how long it's been since he's been back like this.
Back for good:
I know his story.
He was born here on Earth,
But his life was so,
with no recollection of his parents.
His first memories as a child
were of being beaten
Flitting through streets and alleys,
trying to sta
Meet the Parents: Part IIIKAIDANMeet the Parents: Part III3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I wake up to a soft warmth
and the pleasant feel of hands over my back.
I mumble into the pillow beneath my head.
There's a soft laugh.
His fingers move gently over my bare skin,
working out the knots in my shoulders,
rubbing the stiff muscles in my neck,
moving slowly down my spine.
I open my eyes,
and turn my head.
I smile at him,
His hands pause over my back.
He leans in and kisses me,
quick but soft,
then moves back,
swings his legs over the bed.
I look over at the clock blearily.
It's five AM.
"Where are you going?"
I ask him,
but in my morning stupor,
it sounds more like
He pulls on a pair of jeans over his boxers
and then wriggles into a sweatshirt.
and looks over his shoulder,
grinning at my grumpy expression
and rolling his eyes.
"I'll be here, Kaidan.
I'm not leaving.
Don't worry about that:
your mom's cooking
One of those thingsIt’s one of those things where it hits Kaidan full on, right over the head.One of those things2 years ago in Romance More Like This
One of those things where he doesn’t even see it coming,
but then it’s there,
and it’s so sudden that he’s taking a step back to steady his wobbling.
out of all the things they could be doing when it happens.
Shepard’s at the stove,
with the steak,
and Kaidan’s chopping onions,
one eye on the knife
and the other eye on Shepard
because knowing him,
the whole thing could go up in flames right under his nose
and he still wouldn’t notice.
They’ve started cooking together, recently.
Shepard asked him if he would mind giving a few lessons,
and Kaidan couldn’t say no-
Shepard’s abilities in the kitchen are horrific, to say the least,
and so his willingness to learn is welcome.
it’s been teaching them to relax.
To kick off their shoes and do something normal, for once.
The first few lessons didn’t actually go anyw
Sentinel - Chapter ThreeDecisions:Sentinel - Chapter Three3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
When Kaidan was made Sergeant and offered a commendation for his services during a routine mission gone wrong, nobody was prouder than Kaidan's father.
Kaidan was proud too, but he felt that getting a commendation for hacking a door shut so Batarian pirates couldn't come into a shuttle was a bit idiotic.
It had been Kaidan's first mission off-world and while it was a simple one, Kaidan had been excited.
He had worked hard for the chance, pushed himself constantly despite the growing pains from his implants. He had ignored them, pushed himself further, not willing to show that he was weak.
He could do this. He knew he could. And he had done it all without once using his biotic abilities in a mission or task.
When Kaidan was offered the spot, he had been a simple corporal; promoted mere two months after he had finished boot camp because of his dedication and, as his squad-leader had said, his stubbornness and integrity.
He had been transferred from the boot camp to the
Sentinel - Chapter TwoLittle Boy Blue:Sentinel - Chapter Two3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
After three days, Kaidan was sure that the blue-eyed guy was stalking him. Either that or he was assigned to every god damned place he happened to be at.
He didn't look at only him, that much Kaidan was sure of. But when Kaidan was looking at him, the stranger seemed to be studying him.
This made Kaidan nervous. And when he was nervous, he fucked up more easily.
"God damn it, Alenko, where the hell is your head?! You would have been dead out there," Michael barked, tugging off his helmet so he could give Kaidan a proper glare as they walked out of the simulator, breathing hard.
"I am sorry, okay? It's just That guy makes me nervous. He keeps -staring-," Kaidan barked back, wiping away the sweat on his forehead, helmet already under his arm.
"Get over yourself, he is staring at everyone," Michael replied, his voice gruff. "That's what he's doing, observing. Like, it's why he's here."
"Who the hell is he anyway?" Kaidan asked, looking towards the stranger wh