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Similar Deviations
     Some would call me crazy. How could that be?Those people had it coming! Why? Because of how the looked at me!

     The first one was a mistake, yes. Yes, a mistake. She looked at me like I was some, some animal! So, I pushed her. And down she descended, down the stairs of an empty hall.

     But, something happened! I got a feeling, one that had been missing most my life. Bliss, that I could control someone else's life in my very own hands! Watch the fire go out of their eyes! Oh, and how much joy their screams have brought me! Ha! They all deserved it!

     How could you call me a monster? If anything, I am an angel!
     Art is what it is. All the ways I have killed. Drowning, cutting their hearts out while it still beats, cutting off their fingers as they scream. The last two are my favorite.

     Best of all is the fame! Every night they talk about my murders! My works of God! They hope to find. Ha! I was careful, so careful not to leave any trace.
How petty life is. How easily sdestroyed it is.

     Do you still think of me as a monster?
I wrote this in creative writing club today. The prompt was violence and one of the scenarios was : Serial Killer.
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Handling knives with utmost care,

The smell of death lingering in the air,

Blood splattered on everything I wear.

Motive or disease;

A quick kill just doesn't please.

The loud tortured screams,

Tears flowing in streams.

Blood everywhere;

I cause quite a scare,

Limbs of my victims strewn here and there.

They scream that I'm going to Hell,

But oh, very well.

It's better than this society that fell.

I always get away,

In this game that I play,

I love to kill every night and day.

And I will not cry

Over the day I will die,

Because death and I aren't very shy.

I'll kill to my demise,

And I will say no goodbyes,

For it's in the ground where all my friends lie.
This is a result of boredom and listening to Voltaire. .__.

And I seriously never have a clue as to what categories to put my poems in. So I randomly pick one. XD

Wait, does this need a mature warning? o__O
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  I will keep you safe.

  I will keep you company.

  Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.

  And from that point on, I never left your side.

  Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower, calling you a monster, saying you needed to disappear. And then he drew his rapier. I had never moved faster in my life than I did grabbing that awful man by the brim of his ebony vestment. I had never acted as instinctively as I led him to the window. I had never whispered as softly as I did to you of reassuring, and to him of the pain of death. I had never been more deafened than by his scream as I cast him away.

  Take away upon your black wings, bishop, for your mistress commands it.

 Do you remember all those years ago – when you saw my face for the first time? I remember it perfectly. Soul of black I had retrieved, and offered it to the gentle flame I did. My flesh was deep and wrinkled no more. I turned to you, and you seemed shocked at my form. You were my height, and we were both exceedingly young. I could even remember a flicker of attraction…but no. I refused desire. My love for you was of parent to child, or of sibling to sister. And it was good that I refused, for you grew, oh so very fast. Soon, you towered above me, and regardless, I still guarded you with my life.

  I made a promise to you, Priscilla. I promised that I would never let you see darkness.

  Do you remember that short time ago – when the people gathered? I remember it perfectly. Ariamis gathered, and desired your pure blood. How shocked I was. How scared you were. They hurried to the theatre, where you and I often met. How ready I was. How well-hid you were. The crowd broke through, and I met them head-on. How ravenous I was. How aghast you were. Ariamis fell to my feet. How alive I was. How frightened you were. After I finished, I ran to you, and embraced you.

  I fell the entire city as the ax man does the forest. I was invincible.

  You would be safe forever.

  Do you remember that short time ago – when I found the red rock? I remember it perfectly. I had slain anyone that came near you. Everyone was a threat, as everyone was present at the theatre that fateful night. And then you began to cry, for you were lonely again. I did everything I could to comfort you. Yet you ran from me, from your sole friend, terrified. So I brought new friends. I tempted those with Lifedrain to pursue me, as their master tempted them with the very art they wielded. I brought many new friends for you to meet.

  I will do anything in my power to keep you safe, Priscilla.

  Do you remember the fall of Ariamis? I remember it perfectly. The city crumbled under the assault of the Crimson Ones. All through the onslaught, you sought me. You found me in the theatre, and I greeted you merrily. But then you turned your blade on me. Your beautiful scythe sliced the air beside my head flawlessly. I was blank. My only friend wanted me dead. I begged you to stop as I evaded cut after cut. You screamed at me, calling me a monster. You claimed I was nicer when I looked to be a monster. You called all humans monsters. And then I held my weapon to receive a blow from the elegant scythe.

  And that was perhaps the greatest mistake I ever made.

  Your immense size…It threw me an admirable distance.

  And then, you hooked your foot under my torso, and threw me off the edge with it.

  When I finally landed, tears fell from my eyes as I felt my body fade, and the fiery ring burn brighter…

  …I am back, Priscilla. I have come to fulfill my promise to you…

  …As long as it is within my power...

  …You will never see the Age of Dark…

  …My dear friend.
A short story about the Painted World of Ariamis, and it's fascinating inhabitant, Crossbreed Priscilla.

I say "fascinating" because unlike other bosses in Dark Souls, Priscilla lets you walk away without a scratch, only if you return the favor. Therefore, I made a little connection to the character and Priscilla.

*NOTE: This is in no way real Lore. Only a theory that was expanded into a writing.*
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"One side of me says 'wow that's an attractive chick, I'd like to talk to her, date her' the other side says I wonder what her head would look like on a stick." -Edmund Kemper

"I just wanted to see how it felt to shoot Grandma." - Edmund Kemper

"The first good-looking girl I see tonight is going to die." - Edmund Kemper

"I remember there was actually a sexual thrill . . . you hear that little pop and pull their heads off and hold their heads up by the hair. Whipping their heads off, their body sitting there. That'd get me off." - Edmund Kemper

"I am not insane, I'm just queer."-Albert Fish

final words: "Kiss my ass!"-John Wayne Gacy

"You have not caught me yet and you are not likely to. I shall keep on at my work, for I love it, and I will send you something for a Christmas box."
- Jack The Ripper

"I'm not an alien maniac, nor yet a foreign tripper. I'm just your jolly, lively friend. Yours truly, Jack the Ripper." - Jack The Ripper

"We all go a little mad sometimes"- Norman Bates

"I didn't want to hurt them, I only wanted to kill them."-David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz

"Everyone has his own taste. Mine is for corpses."- Necrophile Heneri Blot

"He started messing with the christmas tree, telling me how nice the christmas tree was. So I shot him."- David Bullock

"What's one less person on the face of the earth, anyway?"-Ted Bundy

"I'm as cold a motherfucker as you've ever put your fucking eyes on. I don't give a shit about those people."-Ted Bundy

"We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow" - Ted Bundy

"You feel the last bit of breath leaving their body. You're looking into their eyes. A person in that situation is God!"- Ted Bundy on the joy of murder

"My consuming lust was to experience their bodies. I viewed them as objects, as strangers...It's hard for me to believe that a human being could have done what I've done..." - Jeffery Dahmer

"I always had the desire to inflict pain on others and to have others inflict pain on me. I always seemed to enjoy everything that hurt. The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost."- Albert Fish

"I took her bra and panties off and had sex with her. That's one of those things I guess that got to be a part of my life -having sexual intercourse with the dead."- Henry Lee Lucas

"These children that come at you with knives, they are your children. You taught them. I didn't teach them. I just tried to help them stand up."-Charles Manson

"Look down on me, you will see a fool. Look up at me, you will see your lord. Look straight at me, you will see yourself."- Charles Manson

"After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures."- Peter Kurten

"I love to kill people. I love to watch them die. I would shoot them in the head and they would wiggle and squirm all over the place, and then just stop. Or I would cut them with a knife and watch their faces turn real white. I love all that blood."-Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez

"Mr. Lusk. Sir I send you half the Kidney I took from one woman preserved it for you. the other piece I fried and ate it was very nice. I may send you the bloody knife that took it out if you only wait a while longer. Signed Catch me when you can Mister Lusk." -Jack the Ripper
Quotes from Jefferey Dahmer, Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, ect.
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The Empty Child

I hide
I hear everything too loudly
I am falling apart
I grew up too fast
I am still a child
I cannot stand still
I see every detail
I panic
I cannot remember what I'm doing
I talk about dinosaurs and doctors and darkrooms
I cry for no reason
I do not have the ability to cry now
I see the world differently
I wish you saw it like me
I have a puzzle to put together
I wonder if you'll help me
I hear a song and must sing it
I see a picture and must take it
I see a world, a broken world
I want to fix that, too
I want to play
I need to work
I close my eyes and fall asleep
I remember everything
I forget my head
I stand in blue light
I see the world in shades of blue
I am lost
I have been waiting for you
I am the empty child
Are you my mommy?
Another poem, this one about my life with autism.

UPDATE: As of 10/20/12, this is my most favorited piece! Thanks everyone!
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The Ultimate Battle of League of Legends Champions Song Parody
Parody of The Ultimate Showdown of the Ultimate Destiny
By Zach Melmet

Fed chogath was feasting about
The league like it was an in-n-out
When suddenly hiemerdinger burst from the shade
And hit chogath with a cussion  grenade
Chogath got pissed and began to scream
But got distracted by nidalee
Who proceeded to pounce him in cougar stance
When sona came and made them all dance

And sona started singing a cool beat
When she got hit by evelynns feet
But before Evelyn could shadow walk away
Amumu hugged her asked to stay
But amumu started crying from all of his fears
And drowned Evelyn in all of his tears
Then he became sad and ran away
But tf ulted in the way

This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Silences stuns and spell casting
As far as the fog of war
And only 1 can beat all
And take home all the winnings
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions

Chogath ate all of twisted fate
Like he was a slice of delicious cake
Then sona came back with full 20 stacks
And Jax came in and leaped on her back
Evelynn was injured and trying to Scedaddle
When hiemerdinger upgraded with some baddazle
But suddenly something destroyed his turret
And heimerdinger just decided to quit
But blitzcrank had snuck up from behind
With veigar standing right at his side
Then viegar dropped a stun and he missed
But blitzcrank grabbed him with his fist
Then he hit em in the air and did a thundershock
While zilean ran up using his clocks
And placed a bomb
Over hiemerdingers head
Making them much much more fed

This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Silences stuns and spell casting
As far as the fog of war
And only 1 can beat all
And take home all the winnings
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions

Then the ground started shaking
In an repeating rhythm
As down from clouds
Descended pantheon
Who attacked faster
Than the eye can see
And can slam the ground
With an imense force
He landed on blitz
Who's programming shut down
While veigar ran for the bushes
But panth saw where he was running to
And he landed a spear in-between his eyes

The war lasted for several days
Many champions slayed but eventually
The winner stood the rest  were just rookies
the cookie monster with a bloody cookie

This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
Silences stuns and spell casting
As far as the fog of war
And only 1 can beat all
And take home all the winnings
This is the ultimate battle
This is the ultimate battle
This is the ultimate battle
Of league of legends champions
This is a parody of the Ultimate Showdown of the Ultimate Destiny i made for the Songs of the Summoned Competition. Unfortunatly i didnt win because i couldnt find anyone to sing it, my singing sucked, and my piano playing needed some touching up on. But i still thought it was pretty good so here it is. Also i skipped the on verse where it lists off a bagillion guys because A) the song would have been too long to submit and B) I just didnt have it in me to make all those names fit in.

Edit: i jsut uploaded it to youtube for the songs of the summoned 2. go and check it out
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Translating the Left: A Handy Guide.

Discover the deceptive world of American liberalism through this easy to follow and free translation publication that shows you how to translate the euphemisms, dysphemisms, and other terms liberals use to sugarcoat or demonize various political and social subjects and beliefs or to avoid offending someone.

"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!"

–Isaiah 5:20

"The art of making true things seem false and false things seem true by the use of words."


Terms and their definitions or translations.


Women's health: Abortion.

Abortion: Infanticide

Undocumented American: Illegal alien.

Undocumented worker: Illegal alien.

Assault weapon: Legal semi-automatic civilian firearm.

Workplace violence: Terrorism.

Racial profiling: Proper criminal profiling by law enforcement.

Pro Choice: Pro Abortion

Progressive: Term for a liberal, socialist, Marxist, or statist. Used as a self label to make themselves feel ideologically superior to others who do not share their views.

Sustainable development: State controlled resources and state managed society.

Alternate lifestyle: Homosexual behavior. Sometimes also used as a euphemism for general sexual deviancy.

Planned Parenthood: Planned Deparenthood.

Hate speech: Any statement that a liberal does not agree with it. Not to be confused with actual hate speech.

Free speech: Any statement that a liberal does agree with it.

Scary part: Coined by Senator Feinstein, this term is used to refer to the handguard of an AR-15 or similar rifle.

Freedom fighter: Communist terrorists or Islamic extremist terrorists.

Revolutionary: Communist terrorists.

Fee: Tax.

Contribution: Tax.

Affirmative Action: Government sponsored discrimination.

Sexually liberated woman: Tramp.

Man-made disaster: Terrorism.

Non-viable tissue mass: Unborn baby.

Family balancing: Selective abortion based on the confirmed gender of the unborn baby.

Emergency contraception: Abortion.

Domestic partner: Homosexual lover.

Anti-Choice: Pro Life.

Teabagger: A vulgar insult towards members of the Taxed Enough Already (TEA) Party.

Equality: Preferential treatment of a particulary group.

Social justice: A euphemism for confiscation by legal or physical force with the claimed intentions of redistributing it to a group recieveing preferential treatment. Also a euphemism for socialism.

Gun control: Systematic disarment of civilians.

Bi-partisan: There’s just enough pork in this unconstitutional crap sandwich to justify voting for it.

Fundamentally changing America: This phrase was used by Barack Obama in his 2008 election campaign and parroted by his supporters. It means to completely throw out or distort the moral and constitutional basis of the United States.

Compassionate-Care Clinics: Marijuana shop.

Displaced foreign traveler: Illegal Alien.

Sustainability: Environmentalist buzzword. (See Sustainable development.)

Freethinker: Euphemism for an atheist.

Glass ceiling: Idea that an invisible barrier keeps women from reaching higher offices. Used as an excuse by feminists for affirminative action.

Family planning: Use of birth control or abortion options.

Homophobe: A person who doesn't agree 100% with the gay agenda.

Illegal war: A war not approved by the United Nations.

Resistance movement: Attacks on civilians or government members by Communist or Islamic terrorist groups.

Global warming: Bullshit. Also known as the theory of man made climate change.

Keynesianism: Advocacy of tax and spend policies.

Wingnut: Insult towards those who have right wing views.

Investment: Massive government spending, specifically on social programs.

Intergenerational sex: A recently created term used as a euphemism for pedophilia.

Temporary marriage: Adultery.

Overseas contingency operations: War on Terror.

Politcal correctness: The usage of euphemisms and word meaning distortions to avoid offense to a group or to promote acts considered immoral or evil.

"Your fair share": Taxes.

Deficit reduction: Tax hike.

High capacity magazine: Standard capacity magazine.

Forward investment: Increased taxes.

Arsenal of weapons: Gun or knife collection.

Machine gun: While an actual class of firearm, liberals commonly misapply the term to the assault rifle and semi-automatic rifle.

Fiscal stimulus: Higher taxes.

Misspeak: A term used to excuse a blatant lie.

Incorrect promise: (See Misspeak.)

Inflated promise: (See Misspeak.)

Trustworthy news source: Liberal propaganda.

"Tax the rich": Tax anyone with a job.

Public option: Government run insurance.

Rebels: Terrorists.

Liberation organization: Terrorist group.

Islamic movement: Extreme Islamic terrorist groups, such as al Qaeda.

Featureless rifle: Semi-automatic rifle with all the "scary" features removed so it can be legal under an "assault weapons" ban.

Racist: Anyone who criticizes Obama in any way. Not to be confused with a person who discriminates based on race.

Infant's gender choice: The completely idiotic idea that an infant can or should choose its gender and that a doctor's identification of the baby as male or female is an oppressive assignment of gender and gender roles.  

Faux News: Term implying an alleged falseness of Fox News' reporting. Faux is however not in any way pronounced like fox and sounds more like the word foe.

Economically disadvantaged: Poor.

Unwilling sperm recipient: Rape victim.

Itinerant sperm donor: Rapist.

Extremist: Anyone with beliefs that a liberal disagrees with.

Racism: Cried when a liberal is losing an argument.

Kinetic military operation: War.

Bible-thumper: Christian.

Healthcare reform: Socialized medicine.

Right to privacy: Abortion.

Decriminalization: Legalization.

Hate rhetoric: Criticism of liberals.

Gun nut: Anyone who owns a gun.

Intolerance: Disagreeing with liberal views.

"The Constitution is a living document.": Who cares what the Constitution says?
Enjoy my nifty and at times humorous guide to the hypocritical and stupid world of liberal speak, which takes you on a daring ride through the twists and turns of euphemisms and dysphemisms, as well as loops of hypocrisy and idiocy. Today you can learn to understand one of the most poorly conceived and moronic languages in the world! Libspeak is a foreign language, so foreign that it came from some alternate universe where their political ideas make sense! And you thought Cambodia was far away!

Translations by that Bible-thumping, racist, teabagging, anti-choice, gun nut on deviantART. (That's how you say ONI-Defense in libspeak!)

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Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty

Release One: Pages 1 - 3

THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart for he was an enemy. That was the twisted reality of combat and looking back on his memories of the field; the Baron wondered how he had ever considered such a thing to be glorious. Instead, he found himself almost repulsed by the thought of spilling another man's blood. It is difficult to understand the frenzy that grips a man. War is a mere keyword for destruction, it is a word of power that transforms a rational man into one without morals; who still believes himself to be just. The Baron sighed; it would do him no good to think about such things. Instead, he had to focus on the present. No longer was he the confident, barrel-chested youth with the strength of an Ox, but no less were his responsibilities even in his old age. Somehow, though he could no longer lead or inspire his armies, he would have to protect the peace that he had obtained and doing so would require a sacrifice. A sacrifice, he repeated to himself. The balding, grey-haired man that was reflected in the window seemed to smile. I will pay any price, he thought to himself, if I may enjoy these days of peace and stability. Marina will be getting married next spring, the lucky boy is a rich merchant so she'll have little to worry about. Marco on the other hand will be heading off to the Royal Knights academy in autumn and it will be four years before he graduates. Until then, I must keep things the way they are, I must keep things from changing, at least until they can all stand on their own. The Baron smiled wryly as he saw the irony in his current situation. He had participated in the War of Unification as naught but a commoner, with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Now he was a noble lord who had all he desired, but stood to lose it all. Fate can be both humourous and cruel, he chuckled to himself, in the end it seems as though my life has come full circle. Once I had nothing and now I desire nothing. All that is left to me is to maintain this existence, at least for awhile longer for the sake of my children who have no need to dirty their hands. Rorke shivered again, it was a cold night but he had been instructed not to make a fire. They would not come if he made a fire…

    Rorke was about to slip comfortably back into his own reverie, when the doors to his study burst open without warning. He was shocked at first, but the Baron quickly straightened his back and stood firmly. He had been informed that they would enter his home in such a manner and he had prepared himself to receive them. The air in the room seemed to stagnate immediately as though its movement were no longer permitted. A thick miasma of gloom and despair settled over the entire area and Rorke's mind grew troubled. Nerves, worries, fears of his childhood, all of it began to scurry forth like spiders from the dark recesses of his mind and the very act of swallowing his own saliva became difficult, as though something hard and lumpy had been caught in his throat. A cloaked figure appeared in the previously empty doorway, it was a slender and graceful individual that seemed to glide into the study. It was accompanied by a giant, armed from head to toe, that stood just two steps behind it, his presence making the entire room seem small and cramped. The first of the two figures, the normal sized one, pushed back the hood of its cloak and instantly the atmosphere of gloom vanished. Rorke found himself staring now, at one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his entire life. Her skin was flawless, unblemished and perfect; lips as red as the finest of roses. Her eyes sparkled like green pools of mystery and power and her long dark hair appeared to be as soft as silk. Her entire body seemed to carry the promise of forbidden pleasure and though the cloak hid it from sight, Rorke was painfully aware of the temptation that lay beneath the thin veil of cloth. This lady, is an enchantress! he thought to himself, trying desperately to fight against her charms. She is definitely a wielder of the arcane arts

    "I am as you believe me to be," the figure responded, seemingly reading his thoughts. Her voice was rich and melodious and it seemed to soothe Rorke's heart and mind, his suspicions of her falling away immediately.

    "I-I greet you," said Rorke, feeling slightly breathless. He thought that he should probably offer them a handshake and show them due courtesy, but his legs simply refused to obey him. "Forgive me for my lack of manners; I seem to be unable to approach you."

    "That is fine," said the lady, her lips curving into a confident smile, "A worm has no right to touch me in the first place. Arghast is the only one permitted contact, aren't you?" The lady turned to smile at her companion, who remained silent with just the barest nod to acknowledge her statement.

    Rorke found himself unable to look directly at the lady without feeling a shameful amount of lust and so he averted his eyes away from her, settling upon the giant. This man was indeed a titan and he easily dwarfed his female companion by a large margin. He appeared to be about seven feet tall, perhaps slightly under, but his muscular physique combined with his heavy armaments to multiply his size and make him very intimidating. Rorke thought that he looked like a walking fortress and that nothing in the world would have an easy time in trying to topple him. Rorke shivered as the idea of facing someone like him in the field crossed his mind. It would be an utterly terrifying experience with the only options being retreat or death. It made him glad that he long since retired from the field. Still, a part of his soldier's instinct remained with him and before he knew it, Rorke was doing a mental identification of everything the giant was carrying. Amongst the various plates of armor, Rorke noted the following arms:  one pair of battle axes, with a vicious serrated edge on each one, strapped across his back for easy access; several throwing knives, holstered around his waist, all curved in an unnatural manner; one batch of throwing axes, heavy headed and hand-made, hanging freely from his belt and within quick reach of his right hand. Rorke couldn't particularly quite see it well, but the giant also appeared to be carrying a large shield-like object across his shoulders. Rorke thought that he might have a closer look at it, but his gaze was forcibly torn away and brought back to focus upon the lady.

    "A worm should not be averting his sight from one as beautiful as I am," said the lady, walking slowly toward the Baron, her hips swaying gently with each step. "Am I of no interesting to you?"

    The Baron's breathing quickened and he felt his heart beating faster, but this wasn't excitement, this was fear. "No m'am," he stammered, using a polite title despite the lady being obviously younger than him, "I meant no disrespect."

    "But of course you didn't," said the lady, reaching out with her right hand to stroke his cheek gently. "I did not permit it after all."

    The Baron's thoughts began to grow cloudy, the lady's touch was so soft and warm and her scent was heavenly, it made him hungry, hungry to be close to her.

    "Would you like to be my newest toy?" asked the lady.

    The Baron was about to answer with a loud 'yes', when he was thankfully brought back to his senses by a wicked curved knife that flashed in front of his face, embedding itself all the way down to the hilt upon his writing desk. The armoured giant approached him and retrieved the knife, the Baron blinking blearily at him. "My apologies," the giant rumbled, his voice sounding like a rock-slide, "my sister finds it difficult to avoid playing with those who are…inclined to temptation."

    "Ah, I see," replied the Baron, the fog slowly lifting from his mind. "That's dangerous," he muttered lamely, his brain not quite functioning.

    Arghast had just barely sheathed his weapon when he was violently knocked to the ground by his female companion. "Do not interrupt me!" she shrieked at him. Arghast seemed unfazed by her temper tantrum and got to his feet with a shrug, "you may now resume your explanation sister."

    The lady scowled at him and turned back to face the Baron, "I am Akara, the Pale Mistress of Death. This armoured giant, as I've said before, is my brother Arghast. We are the Seekers and we are willing to offer our services as long as you can pay the price."

    Rorke nodded and shook his head, trying to clear it in vain, "I-I do have what you seek here." He reached for the drawer on the left side of his writing desk, digging around in it for a glowing purple crystal. This had been a gift from a powerful mage during the war and Rorke had kept it with him as a sort of lucky charm. He was told that it contained powerful magic, but he was obviously unable to use it. "Will this be enough for you m'am?"

    "Ah, such a pretty bauble," smiled Akara, as she raised her right hand and waved at it, causing the crystal to leap into the air and soar into her waiting palm. "Oh yes, this will do very nicely. I haven't seen this one yet!"

    "Is it one of the memories we seek?" asked Arghast, folding his arms across his chest.

    Akara shook her head and pocketed the gem, "I have no way to tell for the moment brother, I will have to examine it with my magic. However, before we can play around with it, I do believe that we owe it to our dear Baron to fulfil his request. After all, he has already paid us a handsome price. Now tell me my dear Baron, what do you wish in exchange for this?"

    "An end," said Rorke as the fog that clouded his mind cleared away. "I desire an end to Baron Torval's life, for I know that he intends to attack my lands come spring. I-I cannot afford to lose what I have and though my army could hold him, I would prefer not to have unnecessary casualties on my end. If Baron Torval is killed however, his chiefs will begin to fight amongst themselves and my lands will be safe for a few years to come."

    Akara smiled, but it was an expression without warmth. It reflected only her cruelty and her desire to inflict pain, "as it has been requested, so too shall it be done." With a quick swirl of her cloak, a surge of dark magic filled the air and both she and the giant vanished, dissolving away into the taunting shadows. When it was done, Baron Rorke's hair was left standing on end and he felt as though his very soul had been violated. In the end, he wound up sitting in his study until dawn the next day, unable to move, think or sleep. All I needed was a sacrifice right? With this, everything will end and my children will be safe. No more will I need to get anything dirty, no more, no more…

-Chen Yuan Wen, 1st September 2012
If you enjoyed this lovely little fantasy and would like to see more original works like this, don't forget to click the fave button :3.

Author's Comments:
As promised ^^ Here is a story release. I'm actually re-writing mercenary, since my writing skills have upgraded a little bit and I am looking to practice more on setting the scene mood and using good imagery. I probably should submit to groups to get more feedback, but this took longer than expected and so nyeeeh >3< I'll do it with the next release xD

Enjoy everyone ^^ and don't forget to thumbs up for original literature (not that there's anything bad with fan fiction but let's try to give some credit to original ideas xD).

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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Myric knew he had failed.

His men lay dead around him, by the tens of thousands. On the floor in front of him lay his unconscious wife, cut and bloodied by the enemy. Surrounding him billions of Draken soldiers stood. They roared in triumph.

The sinister forms of the Draken commanders surrounded them. The sleek form of Toxin stood laughing licking the horrific poisons on her knives, next to her stood Decapitator, his ancient sword laying at rest, his quiet form ever ready. These two were also backed by the forms of Ravager, his claws outstretched and waiting for the order to kill, and the Soul Monarch, the massive giant standing at the for.

”So little Angel. You have finally fallen, we will be kind and give your wife a quick death, but for you... I’m afraid our master wants a chat” its booming voice echoing an drowning out the cries of the Draken around him.

Myric knelt over Duneyers form, he had tears in his eyes. He hadn’t been able to stop them, his soldiers dead, those he had fought with for many years. And he had even let his wife fall to Toxins attacks. Now he would pay. He picked up and cradled Duneyer.

“Im so sorry...” He said. The Soul Monarch stepped forward.

”So little Angel, shall we get this over with. Your pathetic existence and ineptitude insult me by the second”

Myric felt the anger rising. The dark he had harboured... the dark that fuelled Sotek. He felt it. He kissed Duneyers head and laid her down again, he then stood up slowly. The Emperors face was fuelled with rage, anger barely contained by his immortal form. The Soul Monarch laughed.

”Still have some fight in you then little Angel?”

Myric embraced the power. The sheer power that now flooded into him as his form began to shine brighter. He bared his teeth, in both rage and pain at the power flowing through him. His feet left the ground as he started to hover and the earth began rumbling, dirt starting to circle him.

”Don’t make me laugh Emperor” The Soul Monarch brought down his scythe inhumanly fast to try and cut Myric in two, the blade hit a few inches from the Emperors face and the dark blade exploded. The Soul Monarch stepped back and Myric shook his head.

”You dare touch my wife, kill my people, and insult me” The noise of the Draken roaring was now droned out with the sound of a building energy, some of the Draken commanders stepped back as the light reached blinding levels ”Die” Was all the Emperor said as the energy he harnessed was released.

The Light which was created was seen from orbit as the Draken were merely erased instantly by the billions. The light spread out, across the planet as the energy ripped apart anything and everything.

Roaring in defiance the Draken commanders, injured in the blinding maelstrom came at Myric all at once, incredibly fast each one attacked. The Emperor brought up Shadowsong and before any of them even realised, had ripped Ravager in half, the evil Talonians face showing pure shock as the creature died. As the others realised Myric had deflected Decapitators strike and grabbed the commanders helmet with one of his hands, with a sickening crunch Myric crushed the beings head and then proceeded to cut the body in two. With two of their number down in merely a second the unarmed Soul Monarch and Toxin tried to adjust their attacks, however Myric was too fast even for them, his transcendent form radiant with energy unmatched even by the Draken Commanders.

The Soul Monarch punched high, the beings gigantic fist impacting the Emperor with the force of a stellar nova, to the commanders shock Myric hovered unmoving in the maelstrom, his halo blazing with light he merely smiled, his eyes two golden globes as he then grabbed one of the Soul Monarchs arms, ripping it from the socket with next to no effort he stabbed Shadowsong through its dark armour and with a roar of defiance the Soul Monarch exploded into light.

Toxin, witnessing the unbelievably fast happenings brought her blade low, hesitating slightly with fear. As her blade came in low Myric shattered it with his gauntlet and in an instant his hand was round her throat. She struggled with terror as the golden Angel claimed vengeance for his injured wife.

”Your race will die. This galaxy is ours and is under my protection. Fear me creature for I am the son of Umbrea!” Toxin screamed as there was a horrible snap, as the Emperor crushed her throat. Dropping the body to the floor, the storm of light still blazed around them. Myric roared with anger and held out his arms and flew into the air, the light intensified and all around him men and women who lay dead coughed and spluttered back to life, their bodies regenerating in the blinding storm. Below him Duneyer gasped awake, looking up to see her husband surrounded with energy. She was somewhat horrified, he knew what happened when he used this much power.

As the light subsided and the storm of blinding energy ceased Myric floated back down to the ground, the soldiers in awe of their Emperor as he hovered above the ground not touching the floor. His wings blazed with energy and he still glowed, his eyes nothing more than small stars. Duneyer smiled an uneasy smile as she walked up to him, stroking his face she kissed him on the lips.

“Come back to me Myric... Its over now” The Emperor smiled to her and in an instant collapsed to the floor, the light fading completely as the drained Myric was left unconscious. Duneyer cradled him and kissed his hair. The soldiers surrounding them to make sure they were ok.

The battle here had been won, but at a terrible cost, though the people here were saved by Myric and the Draken erased, the planet was dead... And Myric had used his anger to fuel his powers, using so much energy had cost the Emperor dearly and he would have to rest, as for the Draken commanders... they would be back.
Well I got bored so I thought I would write Myric going up against the Draken and pretty much anniahlating them. Dont piss the Emperor off and dont even think about hurting his wife... because he will break your shit XD

But yea this is Myric using a fraction of his power, now you may be going 'If he can do this surely he could own the Draken in every battle!'

Well first off, the galaxy is a big place, he cant be everywhere at once while the Draken can. Also whenever he uses his power Sotek gets stronger, and at this point in time Sotek is trying to destroy the Union. So when Myric does this sort of stuff... well. Sotek gets seriously more powerful...

So yea Characters belong to me :iconemperormyric:

Hope you enjoy :)
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The Problem with Self Inserts

There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.

1. Making ourselves better than we really are.

Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.

2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself

Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with the biased image you want to portray (whatever that might be).

3. Getting big headed

Sometimes people who write about themselves start thinking about themselves waaayyy too much. They even begin to believe their own biased images of themselves (or worse. Think that everyone else falls for it too).

4. Falling into the trap

"I know! I purposely won't make myself perfect. I'll keep saying that I hate myself!"

C.S. Lewis said it the best: “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

It's not about what you (or your character) would say when asked if they think they're special. "I'm the best!" "I'm the same as anyone else," and "I don't deserve to be here," are all irrelevant, meaningless phrases unless you, as the author, prove it in the way that you PORTRAY the character.

Nobody makes a Mary Sue on purpose. They are all unconscious. How many stories have you actually seen with a stereotypical Mary Sue in a pink princess gown who says, "I'm better than everyone!" and is supposed to be? Give me a big, fat break. Let me make this clear:
That is a fake, stereotype of Mary Sue made up by dumb people to feel good about themselves for not being like nonexistent even dumber people. The same people who thought they were smart for saying the world wouldn't end in 2012 when NOBODY sincerely believed that.
I'd say 100% of Mary Sues are characters that the author believes is a good character.
But I'll leave it at that since I already have a rant about Mary Sues (see link in description).


I'll be honest. Most good characters ARE self-inserts. And this is what I mean by that:
ALL well-written characters we create, inevitably have parts of us inside of them. That is actually HOW characters are well-written: because the author could relate to them and knew what they were talking about.

I know from experience that it's possible to write about characters that are over your head, and that is usually when they are poorly written. When you have a character like this, it's best to try and find a part of them that you can relate to, or at least look to real people so you can do a kind of imitation. Just make them real.

A word of advice: if you don't understand your own character, nobody else is going to. If you can't get into their head, their head will never be worth getting into at all.

I have nothing against self-inserts. I think inserting parts of yourself into characters is actually *necessary* (well, as always, depending on the style of the story. Naturally in a picture book or something it isn't that important. Again, make things deep enough for whatever you're writing). In fact, I think it's your best (probably only) bet at making a good character at all.
List of most common cliches in stories: [link]
How not to Tell a Story: [link]
Mary Sue definition: [link]
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