DenmarkXReader"NO PLEASE NO HE WILL MURDER ME ON THE SPOT MATHIAS!"DenmarkXReader3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"oh give me a break -name- he won't murder you, i doubt he mad now come on! lets go to Al's party together he wont mind"
"I wasn't invited for a reason Mathias! I don't want to get killeded by him! please"
"-Name- the man loves jello and he loves to eat! also killeded is not a word"
"Yeah but when you can't eat said jello, and has to figure out how to get rid of it..."
"So you filled the guys pool with blue jello, so what! it was just a joke, though it probably did hurt a little when he dived into his backyard pool and under 1 foot of water was jello"
"please don't make me go to his party with you"
"It will me fine -name-! I, Mathias Køhler, will protect you from Alfred F. Jones if he tries to harm you"
"By doing something even more stupid and outragous to get him off your case"
"haha! I am running!"
"WELL RUN FASTER DAMN IT!"
"It's hard to run to fast carrying you and having yo
TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road jokeWhy does the Dunmer cross the road?TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road joke3 years ago in Humor More Like This
We pretend to have interviewed some eminent minds in order to answer this question.
If the Dunmer walks five miles in one hour it will take him precisely two seconds and a third of a second to cross the road.
The road is one-way only and I await at the end of it.
Hmm, I like nasty Dunmers...
We all have to cross the road to open our mind to more knowledge but shall not step away from the path of wisdom.
The Dunmer goes where the wind blows and no road will tell him where to walk.
He must be looking for some fertile grounds to plant some seeds...
Luck may be found at every crossroad... or not!
Surely this is one more questing Dunmer adventurer, may his courage be rewarding.
Roads were made to be followed or crossed, the Dunmer deals the road his own way.
Wondrous plains of green grass, and may the moths pass.
What's the point of making up some plot if
France x Reader - Language"'Ello gorgeous," France murmurs in your ear from behind you. If you aren't trying to be the one thing he hates, a tease, it'd have sent shivers across your spine. He snakes his hands along your hips, kissing the skin delicately where your cute midriff top fits snugly.France x Reader - Language3 years ago in Romance More Like This
You roll your (e/c) eyes. "Francis, are you talking to yourself again?" You saunter away from him, propping your elbows on the countertop, not meeting his lusty gaze. Or basically, his normal gaze.
"Ohonhonhon mon cherie.~" The sexiest smile plays across France's lips, but you don't dare return it. You still don't look at him, in fear of laughing out loud. So you snicker extremely quietly.
Unfortunately, France's ears are like a bat's. He just ignores Britain every time the limey tells him to piss off.
"Are you laughing at me, mon amour?" France jerks his head away, pretending to be hurt.
"You're such a drama queen," you scoff, pursing your lips out on purpose. You painted on his favourite shade, red, just to get him wor
Death Battle: Clare vs. SaberDeath Battle: Clare vs. Saber3 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Mira: Alright, these ladies are ready for battle. Let's settle this once and for all.
Cel: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to DEATH BATTLE.
Holy City of Rabona...
In the religious capital of the continent, all was pleasant and all was quiet...until a bloodcurdling shriek rang through the air. The source of that was a young woman who had just turned a corner and beheld a gruesome sight. A barely-human-resembling..."thing" was the only word she could use to describe it, was burying its face into the stomach of a now-dead child, feasting on its bowels.
The creature looked up with a snarl, revealing inhuman, yellow eyes, a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, and a face that she was just barely able to recognize. Her husband...he was the Yoma that plagued the town these last few days.
The Yoma advanced, the woman both too scared and too shocked to move. She tried to find strength, yet all she could do was fall to her knees, petrified with despair and terro
A very TF2 Christmas'Twas ze night before Christmas, and all through ze map,A very TF2 Christmas6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Not a sentry was stirring,
Because ze Scout broke your crap,
Ze cap point was guarded by ze Heavy so fat,
In hopes zat St. Nicholas will bring him a hat;
Ze Sniper was sitting all zoomed in on ze Reds,
While little blue dots were aimed at zeir heads;
And ze Engie building dispensers, and I ready to sap,
Had just left ze point all open to cap,
When out in the barracks arose such a noise,
Ze Engineer shouting:
"WE GOT A SPAH, BOYS!"
Away to the spawn I ran like a bunny,
Giggling like mad, because lets face it, zat was funny,
Ze fire of ze Pyro was hot on my trail,
My ass was on ze line and I could not fail;
When, what in front of my eyes should take place,
Ze Soldier fires a crit-rocket into that mumbling oaf's face;
With a nod and a grin, looking razzer slick,
I high-tailed it out of there at once and right quick;
Ze rest of ze Red team, like banshees they'd scream,
Zey all required assistance from the rest of the team;
Walk With Me: The Argonian and the LionessWalk With Me: The Argonian and the Lioness3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
There was a chill in the night air and the smell of an oncoming rain shower over the town of Riften. The rain would be a welcome occurrence to the green and blue Argonian if not for the promise it would be freezing. He growled as the first few drops plopped onto his scaly head, signaling the real storm was not too far away. His shredded clothing wasn't going to keep him safe from the elements much longer; he required a new set if he wished to face the approaching storm. That, a good meal and a few fat coin purses to keep himself going for a while longer. Lifting items had become difficult in the homeland of the Nords, especially without a guild to fall back on, but since his ordeal in Solitude, he had no desire to seek out the one of Skyrim.
Walks-Without-Noise's stomach twisted and gurgled in hunger, prompting him to continue his search for a suitable house from which to "borrow" a few things. He shied away from the homes closer to the temple and Keep, not wishing to invo
Reader Insert Prank Call 4: Gilbert, 911 Operator?Gilbert the 911 Operator?Reader Insert Prank Call 4: Gilbert, 911 Operator?3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Groaning, you flipped through the channels on your television. There had to be something on. Sighing, you decided to go with some random movie you found. It said it was a 'psycho drama' so you assumed it had to be either entertaining or interesting. Pushing yourself off the couch, you walked into the kitchen to make some popcorn.
You found yourself covering your eyes, wincing, and nearly vomiting up your popcorn throughout the whole movie. Psycho drama? It was just gory death, gory death, slightly less gory death, screams, fighting, blood, and terror. Isn't that more of a horror movie?
Sighing in relief as the movie ended, you took your bowl that had once contained popcorn into the kitchen. Flopping back on the couch, you looked up at the ceiling aimlessly. Now you needed to find something to entertain you again. You probably wouldn't sleep tonight, you had the movie to thank for that, so you needed something that would keep you entertained for awhile.
MercerxShepard fic part 2: Human ContemplationMercerxShepard fic part 2: Human Contemplation3 years ago in Sci-Fi More Like This
Alex sat silently on his cot, carefully watching the spectacle before him. He didn't know why they gave him a cot... He never needed to sleep. Although just agreeing to everything was much easier than explaining to the crew of the Normandy why he did not need sleeping accommodations. After he and Commander Shepard toured the brand new ship (because it was just as unfamiliar to her as it was to him) Alex decided to take up residence in the cargo bay. He picked the corner that was to the right when he exited the elevator. The crew gave him a cot, a foot locker, a table that hooked to the wall, a personal computer and his own omni-tool. He enjoyed the quiet, open, emptiness of the cargo bay. It made him feel less like he was stuck in a spaceship and more like he was back in New York Zero when he was the only living thing for miles, save for a hunter or two.
The peace and quiet did not last, however, becaus
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
Situational Dialogue ExerciseThe intent of this exercise is for the character to react to each situation in a manner unique to who they are, or at least to who you have created them to be. Some of these situations are similar, I will admit, but they should prove different enough to help understand the thoughts and actions of characters in their dialogue from their perspective.Situational Dialogue Exercise4 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Some things to avoid:
Yelling "You B#####d!" any time a disadvantageous situation appears.
The plain-face "Well s##t" remark gets old very, very quickly, and says almost nothing about the character.
Use of "Tch" or "Heh" to represent a tough guy should be sparing, at best. Watch Eastwood. The man hardly says anything at all.
Monologues are almost always unnatural. When was the last time you received a full lecture about how life works and how views are emotionally charged from someone who can't possibly have more of a hold on it all than you? Never. And yet, it happens in OC d
Room Makeover: Hetalia Edition ~The Awesome Room~Room Makeover: Hetalia Edition ~The Awesome Room~3 years ago in Humor More Like This
"Mother fucker, I'm awesome
No you're not dude, don't lie"
'What does he want?' you asked yourself, as you reached for your phone. He only calls when he's bored. "Yeah?" you answered.
"Hey now! Is that anyway to address the awesome me?" Gilbert whined.
"You only call me when you're bored, Gil," you sighed. "And plus, I don't have time to entertain you today. I'm busy."
"Well, I was attempting to redecorate and rearrange my bedroom before you interrupted me," you complained.
"Frau!" he yelled. "Lemme come help you. Or, better yet, lemme do it for you. It'll be awesome when I get done with it. I'll be over there in a little while!"
"No, that's not really necessary..." but he had already hung up. So much for a quiet day alone. Suddenly, you were beginning to understand why Ludwig complained about Gilbert all the time.
Ten Minutes Later
"Never fear! The awesome me is here!" Gilbert announced as he threw your bedroom door open, causing it to slam against the wall.
The Empty ChildThe Empty ChildThe Empty Child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hear everything too loudly
I am falling apart
I grew up too fast
I am still a child
I cannot stand still
I see every detail
I cannot remember what I'm doing
I talk about dinosaurs and doctors and darkrooms
I cry for no reason
I do not have the ability to cry now
I see the world differently
I wish you saw it like me
I have a puzzle to put together
I wonder if you'll help me
I hear a song and must sing it
I see a picture and must take it
I see a world, a broken world
I want to fix that, too
I want to play
I need to work
I close my eyes and fall asleep
I remember everything
I forget my head
I stand in blue light
I see the world in shades of blue
I am lost
I have been waiting for you
I am the empty child
Are you my mommy?
TES - Fiery Mountain Bold(Two Songs of King Wulfharth)TES - Fiery Mountain Bold1 year ago in General Fiction More Like This
The Ash King
Far under the fiery mountain bold
To dungeons deep, and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To seek the heart of our god
Dwarves of Resdayn made migthy spells,
Blade and hammer ringing like bells,
In places deep, where the dead sleep,
In the darkness of sixteen hells.
For peace with the Chimeri lords,
They gave two gleaming golden hoards,
They smithed with sound, and souls they bound
To wed lovers wielding twin swords.
But when the dwarves found a new faith,
They laughed in the Moon-and-Star's face.
With brass and songs in twisted tongues,
Built a golem and their own death.
Far under the fiery mountain bold
To dungeons deep, and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To claim our long-regretted god.
Then came the Devil of Dagoth
He spoke and said "Hear news I brought,
That in the dark, glimmers a spark,
By Dwemer hands, soon to be caught."
The Nords asked what treason this was,
Death Battle: Luffy vs. PopeyeDeath Battle: Luffy vs. Popeye2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ray: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s settle this debate once and for all.
Steel: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
All was calm as a massive galleon cruised across the ocean's surface, its lion-head bowsprit and straw-hat wearing Jolly Roger noticeable anywhere. From its deck, one could hear merry music from a fiddle, and the members of the crew either singing or dancing along to it.
Joining them in the festivities was the captain of this ship known to all as "Thousand Sunny". That captain was none other than the famed Straw-Hat Luffy.
The song came to an end and the skeletal fiddler took a bow, his art complete. If he had a proper face, he would have smiled at the cheers.
“WOW!” Luffy said with a broad smile, “Play it again!”
Yet as the crew celebrated, a simple-looking steamboat was coming across their path up ahead. At first, the crew paid no mind to it. That all changed because, just when the skeleton
[America x Reader] My boyfriend does my make-upIt was a normal evening. You were just sitting in your room, playing some games that Kiku showed you recently. Yep, just minding your own business when someone knocked on your door.[America x Reader] My boyfriend does my make-up3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Sighing, you lazily got up to open the door until you heard a voice.
"I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your boyfriend by coming in anyway!"
Cue Alfred storming into your room with a battering ram.
A battering ram.
You knitted your brows. How many more things was he going to destroy in your house? Seriously, your car, your table, your printer what more was he planning to destroy? Your computer?! A malicious glare appeared on your face. No way was he destroying your precious!
"Alfred boyfriends don't destroy their girlfriends' belongings! Do you know how expensive it is to get that wall fixed? Do you?!"
"Come on now, don't be like that, bro! Whatever, I wanted to ask you something! Would you like to-"
"No," came your reply, cutting him off.
Reader Insert Prank Call 3: Lovino's Baby?Lovino's Baby?Reader Insert Prank Call 3: Lovino's Baby?3 years ago in Humor More Like This
You sighed, laying on the floor. You were bored. Which wasn't exactly what you would call a rare occurrence, but now was an especially horrible case of boredom. You were home alone, nothing to do. No friends over, nothing. You couldn't even gather the energy to climb onto the couch to watch television. Even Alfred would've been ashamed of your laziness.
But you couldn't help it! Feliciano had just been over, who was always entertaining, but he always seemed to tire you. And, not only that, but when he left, your house always felt like it was empty, like something was missing.
Oh, yeah, something was missing.
You sighed again, this time even more exaggerated. You somehow gathered the energy to roll over onto your side and reach for your phone and scroll through the contacts. You thought about calling Feliciano and telling him to come back, but when he left he and his brother had been fighting. Though, that occurrence was about as rare as your boredom.
Instead of call
TF2 vs 40kTF2 vs 40k7 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Team Fortress 2, Ork style!
Engineer: Big Mek.
Nah lissen boy, oim a mek, and dat meenz oi fix problemz. Not problemz like what is dakka, dat falls in yer own ideas of brainitude! i fix reel problems. Loike 'ow am oi gonna kill some puny 'umie in a bunka? da answer? use some gubbinz. and if'n dat dont werk? use more gubbinz. Take dis, shokk attack gun, designed boi me, made boi me, and you best hope...not pointed at yoo!
Heavy weapons guy: Flash Git
I'm a Flash git, and dis...is my weapon. It fires kustum made bullets at free fahsand shots a minnit... It costs seven 'undred teef, ta fire dis gun, for...sum seconds!
zoggin' 'ell who touched Shouty? Dats it...'OO TOUCHED MAH DAKKA?!
Sum boyz fink dey can outfink me... maybe... maybe... I've yet ta meet one dat can outfink dakka!
Soldier: Ork boy
If deres a battle to be fort, den yoo must fight!
Ghazghkull Thraka sed dat, an I fink 'e kno's a bit more abaht krumpin' dan yoo do boy, becuz 'e invented it! An' den 'e perfected it so no livin
A 40K ChristmasTwas the night before ChristmasA 40K Christmas9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and all through the barracks
not a creature was stirring not even the ferrets.
The servitor stalked through the hallways with care
as though in fear they may be mauled by a bear.
The Space Marines all tucked in tight in their bunks,
dreaming of blowing the 'nids into chunks.
When all of a sudden there arose a great clatter,
I called an Inquisitor to look into the matter.
I ran to the hanger, Laspistol in hand,
and saw a red Thunderhawk with a single white band.
From it there walked a man clad in red,
no sign of a helmet atop his great bearded head.
He carried a sack filled with hundreds of boxes,
and for a moment my fear fell upon poxes,
but then he laughed, in a great 'belly-laugh',
knocking me down, out of reach of my staff.
And then in a time no more than a heartbeat,
he drew out a present and laid it at my feet.
He made his way past the security beams,
giving presents to soldiers who were deep in their dreams.
When he w
Tau-English DictionaryTau/English DictionaryTau-English Dictionary5 years ago in Settings More Like This
How to use this Dictionary: The first column is the English spelling and pronunciation, the second is the tau spelling, the third is the meaning. Sections in quotation marks are literal translations. N means noun, V means verb, Adj means adjective, PN means proper noun, numbers following these abbreviations mean multiple meanings
Al Al N; structure, organization, Adj; small
Aloh Aloh Adj; cold
An An Adj; location (as in 'the place of union' 'An'lissera')
Anuk Anuk N; bird
Ar Ar Adj; high, both in altitude and respect/morals/etc.
Ar'Cea Ar'Cea PN; "High Ones," Eldar
Au Au N; age, era, period of time
Aun Aun Adj; ethereal, celestial, N; an Ethereal
Au'taal Au'taal PN; "time of salvation" a tau sept world
B B N; a shepherd, V; to shepherd
Bap Bap Adj; lost
Be'Gel Be'Gel PN; Orks, including all subspecies, as a race
Bentu'sin Bentu'sin PN; "Wise-gifted Ones," Demiurg
B'kak B'kak N; "Sand Herder," shepherd of sand creatures?
The Dinosaur ShowdownThe Dinosaur Showdown of Dinosaur DestinyThe Dinosaur Showdown6 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
(Note: The following is a parody of LemonDemon's "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny." I do not own The Ultimate Showdown or any of the dinosaur names mentioned.)
Giganotosaurus was hopping around
South Patagonia like a big playground
When Spinosaurus charged with his jaws open wide
and took a chunk from Giganoto's hide
Giganoto shot a roar that blew all the mikes
But didn't expect that ol' set of spikes
that belonged to Stegosaurus's mighty tail
When Utahraptor, a blur of feathers and scales,
started mauling the shit out of Stegosaurus
when they both got chomped by the Spinosaurus
But before he could take his kill back to his shade
Dilophosaurus popped out from his glade
And threw his venomous spittle and then just like that,
he nailed Spino's eyes with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of loogies and he ran away
Because Argentinosaurus came to save the day
This is The Dinosaur Showdown of Dinosaur Destiny
Pangea, Dinos and Extincti
Reader Insert/Anime Prank Call: Alfred Likes Boys?America Likes Boys?Reader Insert/Anime Prank Call: Alfred Likes Boys?3 years ago in Humor More Like This
Bored out of your mind, you sat up in bed, wondering what to do. You weren't tired, even though it was near four o'clock in the morning, and you had nothing to do. Sighing, you walked out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. As you entered the living room, your eyes locked onto your brand new phone. You thought about texting your boyfriend, Alfred, or something, though even he probably wasn't even up at this time. Then something struck you. You hadn't given Alfred your new phone number yet. You knew you were a bit old to be prank calling, but you were desperate for some sort of entertainment. So you dialed Alfred's number, and brought the phone to your ear.
After three or four rings, a tired, "Hello?" Was heard on the other end.
"Oh, I didn't wake you up, did I?" You said in your sweetest voice possible.
On the other end, Alfred grunted. "Who is this, and why are you calling me at 4 A.M.?"
Suppressing a laugh, you said in the same sweet to
know your rightsAmendment Iknow your rights3 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
No person shall be held to
-c. the pursuit of happynessclearly its much easier to see the-c. the pursuit of happyness6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
imperfections in life than it is to admit to myself
that half the time its my fault; and you
know better than most how the easy is
tempting. i want to think of you and feel
happiness surge through me. i want
to be able to see your smile in
my mind, and know i'm smiling too.i liked to picture the two of us together in a
silver photo frame, but somehow all I could see was
you gliding away on that little cloud of
h a p p i n e s s
and my little bundle of ashes let's laugh on winter mornings. i want
to watch my breath fly free, just so bliss
can seem lucid. please,
and not an illusion.i used to love watching you through
fogged-up glass, in the reflections of
mirrors and off gleaming silverware because
you know, in enclosed spaces your sparkle
was just a little too muchi wish i were beautiful - beautiful
like you. i want your eyes to burn when you stare
at me. i want you to look away, still
stunned by the grace you can't stand
to see. that woul