The Price To Be AliveI never did look, so I never did question,
Your riddled with guilt and unspoken confessions.
Making the effort to push on mile after mile,
Feeling your knife in my back all the while!
I had always thought that you were a part of me!
Now I can't stand the thought of you and I'll never be sorry.
I still just can't believe I let you happen to me!
The thoughts are so maddening and chip away at my sanity...
When you told me I was nothing time itself seemed to have frozen,
And when it finally thawed I found myself somehow more broken!
The pain is so hard to stop; it keeps coming in stronger waves...
I fell down from the very top and right into my open grave!
And you saved me?! Just to break me again?!?!
Why couldn't you let this go so this could finally end?!
I'm so tired of all the thoughts and all the voices in my head!
I hate the whispered words that should never have been said!
You couldn't have really meant it when you wished that I was dead!
I've fallen to the floor
Awareness.She writes such lovely poemsAwareness.1 year ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But nobody really cares
She hides them all the time
To avoid the judging stares
She wrote one yesterday
About a boy who said he loved her
But to her own dismay
She caught him with another
She wrote one about school
And the words painted on her locker
“No one likes you, stupid bitch.
You’re lucky I’m at soccer.”
She wrote about her parents
And how she wished they were together
But she knows that won’t ever happen
And forgetting’s probably better
Yes, she writes such lovely poems
But there’s so much more to this
See, her pencil is a razor
And the paper is her wrist.
Poets And Artists.I am self-destructive.Poets And Artists.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
You are the affected.
I’m a thought that’s still in motion.
You’re an idea perfected.
I’m a sacrifice without you.
But with your life, I’m injected.
I’m a thousand puzzle pieces.
You’re the way to connect it.
Take It All Away.There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heartTake It All Away.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me
In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them
All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem
And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
But Nobody KnowsI can't tell myBut Nobody Knows3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Tears from the rain
The hurt from the pain
My life from this game
It's all just the same
And it hurts me so badly
That you're so mad at me
I can't stop me from breaking
My hands are still shaking
Knees are so weak
I can't stay on my feet
So I fall to the ground
And I hope to be found
It's this feeling inside me
That I've never missed
It corrodes and divides me
Puts scars on my wrist
It controls and divides me
Fuels the fire inside me
Destroys all I make
Creates all my hate
I'm not that one in a million
The diamond in the rough
I'm just one more person
Who's finally had enough
Of hiding from hurt
And dealing with pain
But nobody knows
Cause I cry in the rain
My Mind Is A Graveyard And My Body Is A Scar.There’s constantly something wrong with meMy Mind Is A Graveyard And My Body Is A Scar.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t look in the mirror for fear I’ll see
Another part of me that I can’t let be
I want to cut it out of my soul
And just live with the gaping hole
Take control and choose to lose
The part of my heart where the insides bruised
I didn’t fall; I was caught by the lonely, crushing darkness
Of this I’m sure; it was there more than you ever were
I don’t know why the love I need
Is flowing in the blood I bleed
Yes, I’m confused and, yes, I’m a mess
Frustrations magnified by stress
I don’t know why I pushed so far
New cuts cover where the old ones are
My scars are scarred, my heart’s in shards
I’m breaking down like a house of cards
I fell already blind into decimating blackness
And used what I could find of my heart as target practice
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?If Ever I Lost You2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
Love Me.She falls asleep most every nightLove Me.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
Acceptance.Friends all stand in front of me...Acceptance.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Laughing, joking carelessly...
I hide my arms so they can't see...
What it is I've done to me...
And though I try to hang around...
They often leave me feeling lost...
What will it take just to be found?
How much more will my joy cost..?
('Cause I don't live, I just survive)
(Among the crowd, I'm ostracized)
(I can not be indemnified)
(I fell too hard, I broke this time)
My parents always yell at me...
Like I won't get it unless they scream...
But I never do know what they mean...
Why do they have to smother me?!
I've got my back pressed to the fences...
I'm sorry that I'm such a hinderance...
I long to feel some kind of presence...
Something more than this hated essence..
Suffered from my unjust sentence...
All I ask for from this world...
Is a little bit of pure acceptance...
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?Wonder.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
Beautiful.They say I’m beautifulBeautiful.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Because of the way my crystalline heart reflects light off its fractured surface
Well, that isn't a reflection
It’s rejection of the light because it’s all too much to handle
Throw myself away into the dark without even a candle
‘Cause I don’t want to recognize all the pain I’m in
Or realize the truth behind what I am or who I've been
And I tried to make things right but I just keep on making wrong
I never listened to the angel on my shoulder when she called
I count my tears like they’re experience
And my scars like they’re mysterious
And that’s a feeling I’ll remember –
Watching as you left
Watching as you ended what was meant to be forever
And I can see it in their eyes; everyone can empathize
So they say that I’m beautiful because they don’t know what else to say.
But if being broken is beautiful, then it’s the ugliest way...
Missing Pieces.I am a missing piece. Something that someone needs.Missing Pieces.2 years ago in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
But at the same time, I feel so incomplete.
I’ve wandered way too far, wondered for far too long
Am I a missing piece? Or a piece that won’t belong?
Is it possible I’m damaged and not missing at all?
That I’m just as dysfunctional as everybody else?
Pretending to be perfect never softened a single fall.
But neither did admitting that you’re broken and flawed.
A broken missing piece. Is that all I’m meant to be?
There is no master plan that includes the likes of me.
Being all alone, it’s a hurt that will not cease.
A hundred thousand years from now
I’ll still be
Savior.I have this darkness deep inside me,Savior.3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It's what influenced this writing.
I can't control it, I can't fight it,
Barely know it, and can't hide it.
I'm just a mess with no ambition;
So much less than I envisioned.
How much more can I endure?
I don't know, I'm not too sure...
I'm not myself when I'm alone,
And yet I find I'm on my own.
I'm like a lock without a key,
There is no perfect fit for me!...
You're not alone.
Don't think like that.
Pick your head up.
I believe in you.
You can do it.
I love you...
Are you here to prove me wrong?
To make me see the brighter dawn?
With this darker side, this part of me,
How can you love someone like me?
I don't care, I'm glad you do...
Where would I be if it weren't for you?
You pulled me through the worst of times,
I never thought I'd call you mine...
Yes, I'm a mess, but this mess is forever yours.
Together we can unlock and open up these remaining doors.
And I'm not backing down as long as you're by my side...
Hold on to my hand and we'l
Kids These Days.I don’t have swag.Kids These Days.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have integrity.
I am not a boss.
I am a leader.
I’m not a hipster.
I do what I like.
I do not live only once.
I live every day of my life.
I'm Alive..?Don't try to see the good in meI'm Alive..?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cause it's hidden behind lock and key
I never let anyone inside
Won't let them wipe the tears I've cried
I don't think they'd really care
If they knew of all the scars I bear
They try to make me feel less worthless
But I know that I deserve this
For still having a beating heart
I'm trying not to fall apart
Just take me
Make me feel
Erase these lies
Tell me what's real
Hold me close
Hold me all night
Make me feel like
What I Can't EraseLike the gnarled roots of an old decaying treeWhat I Can't Erase1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’m twisted and confused, tired of being me
On the surface I am strong, abrasively calm, and ready
But underneath it all I’m weak, wrong, and unsteady
I shudder at the wind; tell tale of death’s bringer
I feel the chill upon my spine; forever it seems to linger
Now is not the time for cleansing wounds of past battles
Worse is lurking just beyond the howling darkness of the shadows
There isn't much that I can do against an army borne of fear
Every nightmare, all my demons, they’re all assembled here
They’re everything that I’m ashamed to say is part of me
The ugly truth behind my eyes no one should ever see
And if I held my ground would it be too much to face?
Or should I just ignore what I know I can’t erase?
Hurts Like HeavenOh. My.Hurts Like Heaven3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
God, it hurts like heaven;
Longing for all your affection,
Every bit of your attention,
You're a divine intervention.
In this life that's turned to hell.
I can't help it when I reminisce,
In moments that are just like this,
I remember when we had our kiss,
And now how much I really miss,
The times when we weren't separated,
Were the best memories that I've created,
To reunite is long awaited,
I feel like I'm incarcerated,
In my own personal hell.
I can't help it when I think of you...
I hope one day we'll say "I do."
But for now I have to struggle through,
Until the day I get to you...
It won't be long, love, I know we'll be fine...
So, darling, stay strong and keep your hand held in mine...
I'll never let you go and I'll always make amends...
I'll hold on to you forever, or until forever ends...
Completely.I am darkness personified.Completely.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
An abyss so drenched in black
That it leaves me
My heart is a facade
It’s a useless beating lie
Because I've never felt a thing
Except for dead inside.
It’s a war I wage
Inside of my ribcage
That kills me a little more
I like to pretend too
That somewhere beneath the pain
There’s a way I can break through
But I already know…
Things will never be the same.
I lost absolutely everything
I can’t apologize enough
That I didn’t know who to be
When you said that you needed me
My scars are like chains
That keep me from falling apart
One More Mistake.With every word that I sayOne More Mistake.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
With every smile I fake
Every moment I live
I'm making one more mistake...
All the tears that I've cried
Have fallen unnoticed
No matter how hard I try
Nobody will know this...
Every friend that I've made
Everything I create
With every door that I open
I'm making one more mistake...
I hate what I've done
And this person that I've become
I hate these scars on my wrist
Is there no ending to this...?
With every beat of my heart
With every breath that I take
Every day I wake up
Is just another mistake...
Locked and LoadedI am broken. I’m a waste.Locked and Loaded1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me something I don’t know
Say it to my face
You think you know me better
‘Cause of things you don’t remember
You’re trying to make me hurt
My self-esteem’s in the dirt
Pick out all my flaws and laugh at every one
I’m just a stubborn kid with a loaded gun
In the middle of the desert
Taking shots at the sun
But my body is the M16
My mouth is the trigger
My lungs; the magazine
And if you can’t already see
I’m about ready
To go on a killing spree
If you can’t shut up long enough
To hear what I have to say
Then I’m locked and loaded
Have a nice day.
What I Meant.*Accidentally bumps into you*What I Meant.1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
-What I said-
Oh, I’m so sorry..!
-What I meant-
I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand
Cause even though I do the very best that I can
I can’t face this world alone
There’s too much I don’t understand
*Accidentally holds your hand*
-What I said-
Is everything alright?
-What I meant-
What should I do if I can’t tell between
The reality of life or if it’s just a dream?
I can tell the world is real enough
It’s just not as pretty as it seems
*Accidentally hugs you*
-What I said-
Are you okay?
-What I meant-
I guess I never wanted to believe
That something I helped create
That I thought was more than beautiful
Could be so capable of hate
*Accidentally kisses you*
-What I meant to say instead-
So prove me wrong
And say it’s not too late
Or too bad, or no good and that
There’s still room for one more clean slate
Because another se