20 Rules of Thorin and Company 20 Rules of Thorin and Company20 Rules of Thorin and Company2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Despite having a name Bilbo Baggins shall always be referred to as ‘the Hobbit’ or ‘Burglar’.
2. Thorin’s speeches are majestic and must be adhered to at any point in time.
3. Balin must always be the one to tell stories of the past.
4. When the Hobbit states that you have parasites it is wise to always play along.
5. Kili and Fili are never to be separated. Ever.
6. Trolls cannot be reasoned with. They are half-wits.
7. Kili and Fili are not to watch the ponies. Ever.
8. Elves are not appropriate company. The only time an elf may appear in dwarvish speak is in the context of an insult. For example, tree shagger is most appropriate.
9. Bofur is the ultimate good guy, no matter what people might say about dwarves.
10. Do not take Bofur’s hat. Under any circumstances. Ever.
11. Do not take Thorin's sword. Under any circumstances. Ever. Unless you like being cut in half.
12. Troll hoards stink. End of story. De
How I Became BlindA most curious thing happened to me after I woke up one day and saw my brother - He was dyed in purple from head to toe, cut off only by his white shirt and jeans. The colour purple peeked out from the slit between the shirt and the jeans; thus I dismissed the slight possibility that it was by some mutation of the sun, unless it spread overnight, for he was of perfect normalcy just the day before.How I Became Blind3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The others were just as peculiar when their figures met my eyes during breakfast, all colours on full display. Even if there were similar colours between them, let us say for example, purple, they were a variation of purple, some so concentrated it bordered on being black. In fact, I think it was arguably black. All in all, there were no two people of the same shade.
This was not a prank pulled by amateurs during Halloween. No, I sensed it immediately while I set eyes on my dear brother just now; this was the real thing. This was not Devil's trickery, this was Truth itself.
I tried to be subt
Bagginshield: Moments Captured in Travel (Ch. III)Life on the road was always hard. The Dwarves of Thorin's Company had reconciled themselves to this fact over years of travel; even Gandalf has done a great deal of wandering in his day, and was accustomed to the frugal lifestyle that the wilderness demanded. However, the fourteenth member of the band was entirely unused to going without the small comfort. For Bilbo Baggins, the greatest challenge of this adventure was not the Orcs or the Wargs; it was not the landslides and storms and giant men of stone, each seemingly set on wreaking havoc on the group of travelers. No, for Bilbo, the true struggle was the travel itself. The domestic little Hobbit, used to living a simple and sedentary life, was having a difficult time adjusting to the rough and tumble of the Dwarf's wayfaring ways. Never before had he gone so long without the simple comfort of a cup of tea and a good book. He was appalled when informed that heated baths were a commodity he would have to forgo. If you had told BilboBagginshield: Moments Captured in Travel (Ch. III)2 years ago in Romance More Like This
The Grace Given to MeThe Lord of the Rings fanfiction: How do you know that today is the day to die? How do you spend your last day? The thoughts of Aragorn.The Grace Given to Me5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
It is time. I know it just as the birds know when to obey the calling of the wind and fly away from the cold lands to feel the sunrays on their wings again. I know it just as the tree knows when to say farewell to its leaves, watching them flutter to the ground one by one and giving something of itself with every leaf. I know that my time has come.
Sometimes I wondered how I would recognize it. How does a man know that he has reached the point where he can leave with dignity and greatness like the kings of old? How does he know that today is the day to die? It could be tomorrow and tomorrow again. One more day not for myself, but for the ones that I love. How can I leave them to grieving? How many times was I near death and only their love returned me to life, showed me the way through the shadows? How can I abandon the
Redwall- Coming Home Winter over Mossflower wood had been remarkably harsh. Everything was white and cold, frozen in its place until Spring. The tree branches leaned low, heavily laden with snow and ice. There was a constant flurry of snow falling at all times.Redwall- Coming Home3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The weather had trapped the creatures of Redwall Abbey inside the red sandstone structure. The only ones allowed out were the biggest and strongest of creatures, and even then only rarely.
Presently, one of those with such privileged rights was outside, charging through the deep snow on the Abbey walls, attempting to survey the landscape.
Deyna the otter was a tall, strong riverdog. He'd been born at the Abbey, but as a babe had been stolen and taken to the Juskarath clan. After fifteen long seasons he returned home to the Abbey, and to his mother and older sister. Still, he had some habits hanging over him
Hobbit - Sons of DurinThere is nothing quite so satisfying as the penetrating ache in your bones following a productive day, Bilbo reflected contentedly.Hobbit - Sons of Durin2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Gandalf had assured them earlier that day that, if they pushed on just maybe an hour or so more, they would easily reach the edge of Mirkwood by the following evening. Their bodies stiff from riding Beorn’s ponies all afternoon, the company had elected to dismount and to walk for a while. They had done this at regular intervals throughout the day as it gave them an opportunity to stretch their cramping limbs and to allow the hardy little beasts to take a well-deserved break.
They still had a way to walk yet until they could stop and rest. However, due to the happy discovery of a short cut, they had made far greater progress than expected. They had bypassed the area that Gandalf had expected them to reach by dusk hours ago and were now pressing on to another place where they could shelter for the night. A little rocky outcrop was just visible in the d
A Not So Secret Family MomentA shuffling noise from the bushes on the other side of the fire quickly brought Bilbo to consciousness. He made to grab his sword as he looked up but he was rooted to the spot by a rather odd sight. A sight that made him rub his eyes free of the image.A Not So Secret Family Moment2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Nope, still there.
Thorin was sitting on a fallen log with Fili sitting cross-legged facing away from him, which of course wasn't the odd thing. The odd thing was that Thorin was, of all things, braiding Fili's hair.
Now all dwarfs braid their hair, so that wasn't shocking at all for Bilbo. It was that Thorin, himself, was doing the braiding. Which caused Bilbo to rub his eyes yet again.
Again, still there.
Bilbo couldn't help but watch, swallowing hard, as Thorin slowly threaded his fingers through the dark gold locks, stopping every now and then to remove an errant twig or leaf.
His eyes were pulled from the entrancing dance those fingers were doing as they intricately plaited the golden locks when he heard
Thorin grumble at Fili, "Fil
A Blond DilemmaChapter 1A Blond Dilemma4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Mae govannen Thranduil, Legolas!" Elrohir called as Legolas and Thranduil dismounted from their horses.
"Mae govannen!" they responded.
"You know, I just noticed something," Aragorn said as he watched Legolas and Thranduil head up to their rooms to change into fresh clothes.
"And what would that be?" Elladan asked looking curiously at Estel.
"Legolas, Thranduil, and Glorfindel are the only blond haired elves in Imaldris!"
"Hmm, I do believe you're right!" Elrohir said thoughtfully. "Are you two thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think we are!" Elladan and Estel said in unison. They started making plans for their next prank.
"So tonight then?" Elrohir asked when he saw Legolas coming back.
"The sooner the better!"
"What are you whispering about?" Legolas asked them. "Planning a new way to give your father gray hair?"
"Not exactly," Elrohir told him. At that moment, the dinner bell rang and they headed off toward the dining room.
It was after midnight when the sons of Elro
AkallabethAkallabeth3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Yet such was the cunning of Sauron, and the strength of his hidden will, that ere three years had passed, he bacame close to the councils of the king...And Sauron spoke to the king, saying that his strength was so great, he need not be subject to the ban of the Valar. Then the king harkened to Sauron...and in those days the fleets of the Numenoreans blackened the waters west of the land...and Sauron withdrew to the inmost circles of his dark temple. (Akallabêth, The Silmarillion)
Once he laughed,
In his dark hall-
The lord of all.
Twice he laughed,
For weak-willed men
Who fell, became
His servants then.
Thrice he laughed,
The shadows rang-
Though Doom upon
a thread should hang.
A final time
Would he have laughed?
But then Doom fell-
An iron shaft.
Seemed to frown
On Sauron Gorthaur,
He guessed not
The Valar's wrath,
Though long we walked
His Master's path...
Until the Void
Of Morgoth's crown
Claimed Sauron G
Frosting"What smells so good?"Frosting3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Finally out of your coma are you?" Sebastian Moran said nonchalantly, not turning to face his boss, who was standing in the doorway, looking much more ruffled than his normal Westwood look. He was wearing a pair of loose sweatpants and a wife-beater, a purple silk dressing gown half hanging off of him.
"Yes mum, I'm fine thank you." Jim said mockingly, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a carton of orange juice, drinking straight from the container. He leaned against the counter, watching the sniper as he continued to work with a creamy substance in the bowl in front of him. He stared at it, as though it was some foreign substance that was going to come to life and attack them both.
Seb noticed Jim's eyes on him and glanced over, not stopping his use of the metal whisk he'd been employing. He snorted. "It's not going to bite you you know."
"Ha ha." Jim sneered. "What is it?"
"Yes Jim, it's the sugary paste that people put on ba
Thorin and his Kin PrologueThorin and his KinThorin and his Kin Prologue2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Serin was running after Kili, her youngest cousin. She was holding a fake bow in her hands and had soft, fake arrows in a basket on her back. She grabbed an arrow and loaded her bow. She shot it at Kili.
"I got you!" She called happily. They had been playing a war game in the shadow of the Lonely Mountain, or Erabor; her cousins (Fili and Kili) had been the enemy and she was supposed to shoot them down. Serin had gotten mad at the beginning because Fili didn't want to play as much so to get out of it he just stood in front of her when she tried to shoot Kili.
"Darn it." Kili grumbled as he got up. (He had fallen over when the fake arrow hit him in the small of his back.)
Serin came up to Kili and grabbed her arrow.
"Let's go find Fili." Kili said, looking around nervously as he tried to find his brother. They were inseparable, so after a while Kili had realized his brother wasn't with him and slowed on purpose so he could find him.
"Fine." Serin rolled her e
Did He Not Come HereFëanor asks it of all of them. Each new soul to walk within the Halls of Mandos is sought out and given his questions. He is brilliant and he is driven, and not knowing is a thing he cannot bear.Did He Not Come Here2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Even those who've had no cause to wish him well answer when they see the look in his eyes, the need to know the answer to his questions.
"Where is Macalaurë, also called Maglor? How fares my son?"
Always, they do not know. And always, always, they look to Maedhros as they ask, "Did he not come here with you?"
An Unexpected Jou- Dwarf Ch.21: Inner DemonsAn Unexpected Jour- Dwarf?!An Unexpected Jou- Dwarf Ch.21: Inner Demons2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Fandom: The Hobbit from J.R.R. Tolkien and film by Peter Jackson.
Rating: 17+/Mature (in general)
Main Characters: Reader, Thorin, Bilbo and many more.
Warnings: SPOILERS(!), possible mature situations, swearing here and there and implied traumatic and gory scenery.
Chapter 21: Inner Demons
You had never been so glad to be sitting around a fire with only your smallclothes and a blanket tightly wrapped around you. Tauriel and Legolas had brought everyone's armour, clothes and some food, including something that looked like a strange 'cookie'. It was lembas bread. A grown man could nibble of it and immediately feel that his hunger was satiated.
You had three, before your stomach finally stopped growling.
A shiver ran over your spine and you huddled closer to the fire, your scraped knuckles clutching the blanket as if you were afraid that it would fly off and away in the distance. Legolas had also treated your head trauma –you were mad
ImladrisIn Imladris, in RivendellImladris3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Are secrets more than I can tell
There ancient lore of long-lost lands
Still lingers on in elven hands
In Rivendell, in Imladris
Are love and laughter, joy and bliss
East of Sea few places remain
That grant such sure surcease from pain
In Imladris, in Rivendell
They shall not yet say their farewell
For even when all else may fade
Some light shall live, untouched by shade.
trans-humanism plastic organs on blistered skin,trans-humanism1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
falser than the remaining burst,
glittering weight won't stop him
this is where the black hole
this is how the towers fall
apocalypse in silicon-based mortality,
a member of the anachronistic bourgeoisie.
"not a chance in hell," she'd say -
ReunionKnock knock.Reunion3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The sound of knuckles rapping on wood seemed out of place in the house. It was small and neat and comfortable, much like a hobbit-hole, only it was not a hole, did not belong to a hobbit and the ceiling was not five feet high. It was not a place where one expected visitors.
There were several rooms which branched off the corridor, all of them filled to the brim with furniture, but only one of them was occupied. Glorfindel sat at a large oak desk, quill flying on parchment, pausing occasionally to dip it in an inkwell. The stroke of the quill moved precisely, diligently, carelessly. Drops of ink scattered onto the parchment, onto his pale arms, onto the piles of paper he had moved out of the way.
Papers were heaped around the room, lying here and there in untidy piles, some crumpled, some half-finished, some with strange drawings on them. The furniturea table and chair, a black cabinet and a large bookshelfseemed to cramp up the already-small room.
Jim's new phone. Chapter 5Jim's new phone. Chapter 53 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You do realise I can see you outside? You get that right? -JW
And don't wave at me or I'm drawing the curtains. -JW
Aw!!! You're no fun! Ah well, at least I got the show before hand... -JMK
Yum, if you ever get bored of Sherlock I have a job waiting. -JM
YOU WATCHED ME GET CHANGED?!?!?!?! PISS OFF!!!! -JW
Where would be the fun in that? Now stop swearing at me through the window or I'll leave. -JM
You promise? -JW
HEY!! NOW THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!!!! THERE ARE CHILDREN AROUND!!! -JM
You're a fine one to talk, you've probably killed most of their parents. -JW
Well. Maybe one or two.... -JM
What do you want Jim? Sherlock's still pissed at you because you insulted his scarf. -JW
And Mycroft didn't appreciate you crashing his meeting. -JW
It was only a little bomb, besides HE INSULTED WESTWOOD!!!! -JM
I couldn't let it slide. -JM
Yeah, whatever. Your childish feuds are with them so why are you contacting me? -JW
Urrrr.... I find you incredibly attractive so I want to tell y
---RELIGIONS OF ASSASSIN'S CREED---Altairism---RELIGIONS OF ASSASSIN'S CREED---3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"Altairism is the love of an arrogant, grumpy Assassin who needs to get laid."
"Ezioism is the love of a hot, flirtatious Italian Assassin. "
"Desmondology is the study of all that is Desmond."
"Kadarism is the love of a young Journeyman Assassin who died simply to fuck up emotions."
"Leonardoism is the love of an easily excited inventor who has problems with the concept of personal space."
"Malikism is the love of a one-armed Bureau Leader with a sassy attitude. "
"Shaunism is the love of an angry British man who has problems with third-world countries."
"Clayology is the study of the only Assassin who felt that the walls of Abstergo looked better painted blood red."
"Yusufism is the love for an Assassin who enjoys trolling the others, no matter who it may be."
Broken MirrorI am not,Broken Mirror6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What you see,
Although you may indeed,
Choose not to believe
I am a fabrication,
Built to make you smile,
So you don't know that I lie
I am not,
As strong as I seem,
And it is not laughter,
That in my eyes gleams
I am a tale of woe,
And one of sorrow,
So weak that I can't lead,
I can only follow
I am not as whole,
On the inside as out,
I am full of misery,
And so full of doubt
I am nothing more than illusion,
A master of it, I am,
I hope that you don't notice,
I don't expect you to understand
Pieces, big ones and small,
Force me to my knees,
Again and again,
Force me to crawl
Lurk underneath my surface,
Making me feel incomplete,
Making me feel worthless
The silver sheen which covers,
Hides my secrets within,
Keeps from you my shame,
Keeps from you my sin
But, if you look closer,
And come nearer,
You will find I am nothing more,
Than a stained and broken mirror
jlp June 1, 2009
The Night the Bombs FellThose firefliesThe Night the Bombs Fell1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
Did light the night
And terrorize the skies,
A siren cries,
Hearts huddle tight
And cast their last goodbyes.
The rising sun
Called off the flight,
This culling rightly done,
For not a one
Survived the blight;
The blitzkrieg had begun.
ShiveringI only noticed the absence of the hobbit from around the campfire once Bombur had finished preparing dinner. I had been silently staring at the red fire that had been heating the food, deep in thought, and had only been brought back to the real world when I had been given a bowl of soup by Kili.Shivering2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Uncle" He said as he handed it to me.
I silently thanked him and looked around, immediately looking around at the others, who were laughing and joking whilst eating dinner. Gandalf, Kili Fili, Bofur, Bofur, Bombur… they were all here, all except the Halfling. I started looking around, searching for him. Ever since what had happened a few days ago, him saying the why he hadn't gone back to his home and him saving me, I had been paying more attention to him and been more friendly towards him. Our relationship was changing, and that was evident for all. I couldn't help but to regret the way in which I had treated him before, and it almost was as if something inside me wanted to change that for so
Perfection is an IllusionPerfection is an illusionPerfection is an Illusion3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As heaven is to Earth,
A painted cloudy paradise
Inspired by human dearth.
Flawless is the pole star
Leading man to fabled land,
Still distant the Polaris
From man's conceited hand.
Yet perfection's only flaw
That it will never know,
Perfection appears resplendent
Draped in fault's shadow.
Little MessagesThe first note was taped to his bathroom door, on the inside so he would see it as he glanced up into his mirror. It was written in simple curved writing, nothing fancy or special, just a note.Little Messages3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Watch your back~ xoxo JM
It's presence made him jump before rage swirled through him at the thought of his flatmate invading his room while he slept. Toothbrush still sticking out his mouth, he ripped it down and stomped into the kitchen.
"What the hell is this?" He demanded, slamming it down on the table. His flat mate paused in his eating, eyeing the milk that had bounced from his bowl onto the table before glancing up at the bundle of rage. The blond was breathing heavily and his eyes where dangerous. It must have been important as he still had his toothbrush in his mouth and didn't seem to notice he was stood only in his boxers. Lazy grey eyes rolled and looked at the paper.
"It's a note, Sebastian." He said shortly, picking up his spoon. "From JM apparently." He added. Sebasti