The Official Ode to the ForumsThe Official Ode to the Forums11 years ago in Ballad More Like This
I can't stand to see another thread,
beating a horse that's already dead.
Do you like "s3ks" and what does art mean?
A poorhorse cult for illiterate teens.
The forum descriptions must be Greek,
or maybe the newbies only read 1337.
The Welcome Center to get a tour.
Thumbshare Forum for commentwhores.
'Deviator' no longer exists
(The Forum's still there 'cause jark insists)
Don't post there- it's useless you know
Read the thread that tells you so.
Elite ForumWhores: they're better than you.
Accept it now you know it's true;
If you see a lot of the Blank Stare guy
stupidity is the reason why.
For those with a brain that can't be found
watch out for curran if he's around.
With legendary wit and sarcastic replies
he cleans up the forums (or at least he tries).
We interupt this poem to distinguish
that "kewl" and "k@wa1i!!1!1" are not English.
If those are in your vocabulary
please buy yourself a dictionary.
Do you think you are a squirrel
instead of a normal boy or girl?
All Up and Down the CoastAll Up and Down the CoastAll Up and Down the Coast11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The weather ballons have shut down
out of boredom. The sky is the exact opposite
of an exploded circus. I'm feeling let down,
thinking I would miss you more.
Puddles are even leaving town
in search of something more famous to reflect.
I could go for a walk through the streets
you've left behind but I know they will someday
open up, swallow everyone who trusted them.
I think I will stay inside instead
and rummage through empty wine bottles,
hoping to disturb some hungover genie
and ask him if he's ever had any wishes of his own,
maybe a pleasant sunny day to himself
on top of a water tower,
some grapes and cheese to nibble on
while he calculates the chance
that it will never rain again,
then writes it across the sky
in a language no one understands.
NDP 2007 PARODY LYRICSThere's No Place I'd Rather BeNDP 2007 PARODY LYRICS8 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I've walked the streets of Toa Payoh and Marina Bay
I've seen the big banners on the Esplanade
I've eaten char siew pau
Fifty satay in one hour
Drank soup that's hot and sour, but that's okay.
Read mrbrown, Laozhabor and Xiaxue.
Heard Stefanie, Tanya, Kit Chan, JJ.
I've been to Singapore Zoo,
and yelled, "EH,CHIOBU!"
...I know I'm here each night and every day.
There's no place I'd rather be,
You'll always be a part of me,
And despite my immense workload,
It's still my home I long to see.
This country has Japanese,
Venezuelans, and Maltese.
So what for you buy air ticket to
Escape to other countries.
'Cos there's no place I'd rather be!
Become Legend, Ch. 1 Chapter 1Become Legend, Ch. 17 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
....It was time for him to open those eyes of his, but he wasn't about to. No way. Too bright.
He sat up and stretched, groaning a bit with some of the tiny aches from his last day of work.
He swung his legs over the side of his bed and scritch-scratched at his head of brown hair with golden mixed hairs, the golden hair catching the sun and dimming the room in a slightest fraction of light, dulling the edges of his shadow and brightening the white walls around him.
He rubbed his eyes, this making them want to open. Blur....
Focusing, he worked his dry mouth, and ran his hands through his mess of hair. He went to a broken piece of sheet metal, it's
Death By VampireGood evening young man, I have just a word of cautionDeath By Vampire9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Do not romanticise my kind, I do not use seduction
Let go of your misconceptions, and your silly dreams
Because I will not indulge your dark, gothic fantasies
We will not be lovers, immortality will not be yours
I do not have alluring fangs, I have savage jaws
When I take a human life, I do not feel regret
I am neither beauty nor desire, I am the living dead
I will slice your jugular; and lap you clean with my tongue
Maybe I'll drain you completely, and bathe in your blood
Or I can suspend you in a cage, and prod you full of holes
I will have a shower; I will have red stains all over my clothes
I am a nocturnal hunter; I will attack you in the night
And rip your throat to pieces; leave you dying in first light
If I want to be ironic, I could drive a stake through your heart
There are so many ways to kill when a vampire is out for blood
A Modern FaerytaleA Modern Faerytale10 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
A Modern Faerytale
Loose-jointed fingers braced the cigarette against her lips as she inhaled, and smoke curled a lazy smile through her hair. She came here every Monday night, sat in the same stool, took the same poison – four fingers, on ice, the colour of dirty sunshine.
All night she would sit there, drinking and sucking on a chain of cigarettes through lips tinged yellow with the burn of nicotine, staring down the squat neck of her glass from 5o'clock to closing time, 10 hours straight. She'd get up only to answer nature's call – although I was never sure how natural it was to use your bladder like a lung, filling and emptying with every breath. To an alcoholic, it's just one of those things, I guess. Like the whole liver deal.
I had only started at the bar a month or two ago. It wasn't much of a place, but I wasn't much of an employee, and I was glad of a way to pay the rent. I had asked about this woman, in her rotting satin dress, but my questions went unanswered - she h
Dissecting a HedgehogDissecting a Hedgehog10 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
Dissecting a Hedgehog: An in-depth analysis of Sonic the Hedgehog
Starting in 1991 and going until 1994, Sonic the Hedgehog dazzled audiences with high-speed high-action antics the likes no other videogame hero can provide or has provided since. With each game, Sonic's adventures grew longer, the levels grew more complex, and the graphics got more detailed. But, after 1994, Sonic the Hedgehog all but vanished from the face of gaming -- a character who was king, beating out rivals like Mario in popularity polls and putting countless copycats to shame, began a downward tailspin into the depths of obscurity. The scarce few games that were released bearing the Sonic name that were not, infact Sonic games; instead they were other genres, other games altogether with the Sonic name and characters transplanted in to them.
In 1998, as Sega transitioned out of their 32bit console, the Sega Saturn, they revealed a new console - the Sega Dreamcast, and with it, a brand new Sonic game slated
Become Legend Ch. 4 Chapter 4Become Legend Ch. 47 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Leon finally woke, making a face against the exhaustion he still had and struggled to sit up, seeing Zelda and Rosalin watch him, "... ....Hi?"
Rosalin smiled a little, "You haven't been out long. You better rest later, or else."
He made another scrunched up face, "Okay, fine. But you two look a bit grim. what happened?"
Zelda watched him. His blue eyes intrigued her a bit. They were energetic, could be fierce, but also cheerful. Eyes with potential. Eyes of a beast, in a sense, "I wish for you to journey with me to Hyrule Castle, to seek and obtain a tool that will give us an edge against Ganondorf."
Twilight ObessionYou know youre obsessed with Twilight whenTwilight Obession7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
· Every time someone mentions the name of a character in the book you squeal (this includes all side characters as well, not just Edward).
· You find yourself angry or not speaking to a friend who dislikes your favorite character.
· You know the exact days, hours, and possibly even minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out (or the movie, both work).
· You find it impossible not to mention it to every person in every conversation you have.
· You are insulted if someone says they dont like the books and take great personal offense.
· You find yourself debating what might happen in the next book constantly Even while you dream.
· Whenever you see a car style or color mentioned in Twilight you feel the need to point it out.
· If you see a picture of a wolf your first thought is Jacob or werewolves.
· Whenever you read or hear the phrases Twilight, New Mo
Twilight Obsession -2-You know youre obsessed with Twilight whenTwilight Obsession -2-7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
· When someone says This is made of Velvet you touch it while thinking (or saying) So this is what Edwards voice feels like.
· You listen for Twilight related words so much that if someone mentions something that is LIKE something in the book, your mind immediately goes to Twilight. An example of this would be if someone says Spoons and you think of Forks or if someone says Edwin you immediately think of Edward.
· Someone mentions a word like pickles and adds that its just about the only thing that doesnt remind them of Twilight. You then associate pickles with Twilight.
· You are envious of Alice and Edward because they both knew what happened in Breaking Dawn before you did.
· When you WANT to hear voices in your head. After all, when Bella went insane, she heard Edward.
· You decide blaming everythi
The Travels of Mr. WalkerThe Travels of Mr. Walker10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Mr. Walker poses as derelict
against a bus stop pole under early November.
He's got headphones pushing drunkard's music
down his empty body
like caulk, popping out his toes
beat by beat into a rain puddle.
He likes to pretend it's a movie,
to pretend there's a cigarette in his mouth,
to pretend he has killed before.
The city just keeps on digesting him,
sloshing him around
past hospitals, agencies, brothels-turned-art stores,
until the rectum, the school--the library.
He'll have a coffee, watch the rain
start and stop again.
He likes to get lost wading amongst shit,
to pay too much for a croissant,
to act like he has time for little things.
He finds a payphone,
calls the busy signal at his home
just to check up on things. Tired-eyed,
Mr. Walker will find a seat in his favorite quiet room
and sigh a few times.
An old friend will come from nowhere,
ask him how or what he's doing.
He wants to say, "I once left my soul in this room
and I intend to get it back."
ParadiseParadise9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Carefully thought out, a delicious nothing; an endless journey,
It's paradise set upon a world in motion; it's paradise swimming through a cobalt ocean.
Complete comprehension will rise within time, during this effect of natural animation,
It's paradise under the black sun; it's paradise on the brown grass.
The clouds are larger than life--the whole world is in a fog,
Although it's tempting to remain asleep under these comforting sheets of constraint.
I breathe it all into my body until I become the vapor that I was,
Countless visions will mend during a rare, yet familiar realization..
Black sand below me and above me; all I can do is swallow it whole,
Confused thoughts will soon clear, then choose to randomly assemble here.
As I eat every grain until I am a part of the earth from which I came,
Where the sun sets in my trail, never failing to rise up again and guide.
Wonderfully unexpected, a delicious mystery; an emotional feast,
It's paradise in a major movement; it's paradi
Happily Ever AfterI've finally found my happily ever afterHappily Ever After8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Suddenly all my dreams have come true
Looking into the eyes of a lover
Finding myself in the eyes of you.
All the obstacles that have come our way
And now we stand tall upon the crashing waves.
On the shoreline is where we finally stay
Looking at the beauty of a dying day.
I've finally found my happily ever after
I've found it in the arms of the one I love.
Never truly thought that this day would come
But now I know it will last forever.
Through the rough times, we've seen a few
But I know together there is nothing we can't do.
Finally after all these years, we finally can stand
You'll always be the one for me. I'll always be your man.
I've finally come to a conclusion
That after all this time we're still meant to be
Now I could not ask for anything better
Than having you here right now beside me.
You are my happily ever after
Not even cold weather or a cloudy day can change
The way I look at you or say your name
You are my happily ever after—a
Some facts about fishSome facts about fish9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Some Facts About Fish:
compiled by GuyFlash
1) The skin of a fish is inside out. FACT
2) All fish are allergic to water. FACT
3) Fish have no eyelids, to clean their eyes, fish urinate on them. FACT
4) If you hold a fish upside down and hum the chorus of the song 'Good vibrations' whilst making sure the fish is looking at a map of Norway, the fish will implode. FACT
5) Fish don't breath air, fish breath childrens hope and dreams. FACT
6) Fish will only listen to a Madonna album if played through a packet of ready salted crisps. FACT
7) If you spell 'fish' backwards you get the word 'evil'. FACT
8) 'hippopotamus' is an anagram of 'fish'. FACT
9) Fish are telekinetic. they can move their bodies by the power of their mind alone. FACT
10) Male fish have 38 testes. whereas female fish only have 37. FACT
11) every 2.3 seconds, a fish gives birth to a kangaroo. FACT
12) A fish's diet will include the following;
- Passing Digital radios
- Kangaroos (fish always
Love PoemThere is a garden in her face,Love Poem10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No, wait, I can do better than that.
Her eyes are as deep and dark as space,
like two black holes, their gravity draws
the mind in, won't let go.
That isn't quite right either.
Would that I were a summer's lake
and she the sunshine on my surface,
Man, that sounds pretentious.
I can't get it right.
The words won't spin, phrases
won't turn quite like they are supposed to.
The images, the metaphors fail me, fade
into rampant cliché.
It is better that
, once, at a party, you got too drunk
and I walked you home, held your hair
as you vomited, fed you, and let you sleep
while I read poems.
2. Cradle-robbersA gentle nudging impinged on my consciousness, followed by a warm, wet touch on my flank. "Up, my lovelies. The sun is awake and we must be also. You have slept since the sun went down an hour after you hatched, and now I need to find food for you."2. Cradle-robbers9 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Food. Mama had told us about that before we slept; that living things took in plants or things that used to live in order to be healthy and strong, and to grow as we would need to. She also had told us about hunger, the belly pain that meant we needed food, and I guessed I was now experiencing it for the first time, for I felt very empty inside. It would be some time before I could eat; Mama said that finding things took time, but my hunger was not too bad. I could wait.
"You need to find it?" one of my siblings asked plaintively. "Does that mean you have to leave us?"
Mama made a low sound. "Yes, but not for long. You must gather together where I lead you and stay still. That way nothing will find you – there are beasts who would kill you
+Velvet Noose+ Prologue+Velvet Noose+ Prologue11 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Fill me, fill me with dread that is pure. Don't fear… drunk with dread surely, I'll find myself a cure.
'Twas liquid sleet, I swear, that slammed against the outer side of my umbrella as I braved the weather, longing for a not so distance place where I knew I had hot coffee and a warm cushion at my disposal.
What a challenge it was to stay on my feet whilst the wind blew the water this way and that. The barrage could well have drowned me standing. I could not see an arm's length ahead, and would have been lost had I not known the way by heart.
I was squinting, trying to make out the footway ended so that I could step down and cross the deserted road. I caught the glimmer, first, of what seemed like pearls suspended in the turbulent air.
My curiosity justified by the direction of which I was headed, I drew nearer, and saw the rest of the young body that let her little self be plied by the cruel darts. The pearls were stranded into her dark hair. The rest of her wa
Bulgaria IsmetBulgaria Ismet12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Bulgária Ismét (Bulgaria Again)
The raze and wreck of Turkish troops
rent what was our land.
Yet only flesh and bone
was taken from the Bulkan hand.
I was fallen on the stone
with mightier men than me;
all my brothers in my arms asleep.
They and I-
we would never wake again
not to see our brown eyed girls
or to sing our Runic tales.
Réalité (après le Öldöklés):
I saw there many times now
the widows of windy souls
that clap on the shudders
and drift in the fountain pools.
The wolf is lapping
where Bulkan girls washed their hands
and spoke a jezyk far from ears.
It is silent in our ruins
from Turkic swords upon our necks.
But the bleating varjú weeps
onto a silken carcass.
She was Irene.
Pré-mort (mémoires d'elle):
She could wake blossoms
and milken perfumes that licked
her swan-neck and heavy lips.
They kissed with exactness
the perfection of her poise
that turned to quiet gazes
into the hills above
Vampire Tales Chapter 1Vampire Tales Chapter 19 years ago in Humor More Like This
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
Once upon a whatever, there was a house.
It was a very normal house, on a very normal street.
On the front of this house was a very normal door, the kind which is hard to describe because it is so, well, normal. The type that all adjectives seem not to fit, and that the only appropriate noun for is, rather embarrassingly, door. On first encountering this door, normal is invariably the word that springs to mind. Occasionally plain will flit around the observer's brain, like an unwanted child trying to explain to his mother that he has stabbed himself with a pencil whilst she is talking on the phone to a telemarketer, and then, unlike the punctured child, recognize that it is unwanted, and slouch out the back door.
Set in this door was a quite normal doorknob, rather pleasant to turn if not especially so, and set behind it was a very, very normal room. This room was surrounded by several walls, a
'Il'lI love the sheets,'Il'l9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of folding intervention;
Shadowed, sullen curvatures,
Of moments left behind.
Promised for always,
She, silent and bored.
Giving up purple haze,
Me, violent and lured.
Letting go of all,
In time for the end.
Am I far too cruel,
For new-age heart amend?
Relation, old relation,
Close and distant still.
Their vivid imagination,
The old me, ready to kill.
Cradle of wish,
Bending over, I see,
I see crystal ball and
Past, and them and me,
And coming home late from work,
And rolling greenery too,
And waking up and kissing,
And chocolate in bedroom.
Small packaged creation,
Proof of relative weaponary,
Proof of life-long loving, see,
See my proof of my imagination?
See my hope of better times?
See my bare, white arms
And empty palms.
Massive calming too,
Draped over you?
There are too few,
Too few lines to write,
End of all in sight,
No ink can run forever,
No heart will beat still,
No Red of life-ether, if you
Join me on that hill.
And remember I still,
Marquis de SadeI am Renee, I am MadelineMarquis de Sade9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I am Rose Keller, I am Justine
You are the world's finest libertine
From the whip to the guillotine
...He picks up a rose…
Sadism grew from your licentious seed
We are all whores with a sexual need
You feel pleasure when you make me bleed
Replace Christian dogma with your own creed
…A blood soaked rose…
Out of all your perversions, which do you like best?
The pleasure in sucking snot or the act of incest?
Sodomising backsides or putting God to the test?
By thrusting communion into a whore with zest
My corruption began with your wicked prose
Now I'm tied up in this humiliating pose
The cat-o-nine whips, blood splatters and flows
I wail and scream, he grows solid and blows
…Of torture and beauty…
You teach us that humans are immoral at core
Indulging our sexuality is a natural law
Seduce me with cruelty, brutality and gore
Titillate me with les crimes de l'amour
…Of pleasure and pain…
Life-likeIt comforts me,Life-like9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The thoughts of three different versions of you;
Past, present and future too.
The different forms of a love,
A love too formless to be,
Anything but love -
As love is everything -
And nothing all at once.
Is this really life?
It soothes me,
The past of us together,
And, further back, your tortured years,
And my loss of an adult and gain of a drug,
And how these things link today,
Making the present you somebody else,
Someone other than a parallel you.
It cools me,
To think of love as mere emotions,
Ruling the Gods and ruling life,
And deciding upon the making of husband and wife.
I wonder of the change in mind,
The twists and turns, anfractuous inside,
A year's worth of travel,
But we're in the same place;
Your favourite mode of travel
As a new expression to my face.
It concerns me,
The silence you often bring,
Followed by your singing,
And the occasional meaningful touch
As touching in ours,
And more touching to us than all that time ago.
The passing of ages...
DiaryOfAOneRoomSchoolhouseJanuary 4, 2009.DiaryOfAOneRoomSchoolhouse7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want my long hair back.
Soft, sleek, middle of my back--soft swooping bangs to the right just above my brows.
I want it deep, rich brown again. Not red. Brown. I want my hair back.
I want to be pretty again.
I want to wear dresses.
I want to wear my Mary Jane's.
I want to read my books, to study, to learn.
I want to wear soft make-up, delicate, fresh.
I want to be small and quaint again.
I want my smile back.
I want my faith back, my prayers, my Bible, my pure heart.
I want to be loved.
I want someone to love.
I want to be wanted again.
I wish my hair were redder.
I wish it was long and wavy.
I wish I could be a small fragile thing again.
People cared about me then.
I wasn't in trouble.
I wasn't beaten up.
I pray they never hook me up again.
I don't want to back to the doctors.
I wish they would go away.
I wish they didn't hurt so bad.
I'm just a teenager.
I want someone's hand to hold.
I want a hug.