Up All NightI've been up all night,
Fighting a war I can't win,
This theological fight,
That I'm having with no one but me.
My blankets twist and wrinkle
Thinking of my flaws,
My shallow thoughts, my heart so fickle.
Crying so much that I make my throat raw.
I don't know if I can trust
Myself for all that I've done
My voice turned to rust
As I cry out for someone, anyone.
I need someone to hold me.
To tell me it's all okay.
Holding me, but still setting me free.
I need to be loved.
One ThoughtYou know that one thought,One Thought2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That makes you squirm inside?
Maybe it makes you giggle,
Like your stomach is bringing in the tide?
That one thought,
That makes you double take,
Maybe makes you feel fake?
It could be a loving thought,
Maybe "I love you"?
But maybe it makes you stomach feel taught,
Like another friend gone.
That one thought always in the back of your mind,
But when you dig to find it,
Sometimes it's hard to find.
'Cause you push it to the back.
That thought that maybe makes you hate
Of maybe makes you believe in fate.
Or inquires who you really are.
It gives you feelings that you didn't know you had.
Gives you maybe hatred, love, anger
Remember that you shouldn't feel bad.
Remember that it's only one thought.
Poem from the PavementThere are stony faced facadesPoem from the Pavement10 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
imposing judgement upon my daily viewscape.
They clutch a fence to them like cards
as if to hide their poker face behind.
I am a step away from them
behind festivous displays of success
the pride of the University plathered
over hardnosed metal.
On this side, between the rock
and the green space,
I hang a yellow satchel from my self
and paint myself with painkillers and Prozac
as I try to find the perfect place to be.
Somewhere dreamy by the lake,
under the wise eyes of a beloved castle.
In the clutches of a tree cluster
in the shadow of a fallen oak.
With hard edges and cornices,
bright colours and Tetris windows.
With lush grass, reality's stench presiding,
I search for my place.
On the inside, between a rock
and a hard place,
I strangle down my anxiety and fear -
paint myself with painkillers and Prozac
and try to be the person I always wanted to be.
Sorry.So yes I am sorrySorry.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But know that I care,
I know that you worry
I know you despair-
I wish that you wouldn't
But I guess you can't stop,
I know that you didn't
Feel like you could help.
I know that feeling
And I know that it kills,
To be truly helpless
When your lover hurts.
I know that I shouldn't
But yes I still cut,
And I wish that you wouldn't
But how can you not?
So yes I am sorry.
And I promise I'll stop
Because I know that you worry,
For the one that you love.
The Hidden TruthShe smiles, she laughs, she paints away,The Hidden Truth2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
On the tips of her happiness is how goes the day.
She prays, she hopes, she dreams legit,
To forget the regrets that she once commit.
She is, she was, an angelic child,
Now addicted to pain is how gone wild.
She tries, she pretends, to again be so happy,
Such a shame her life has turned so scrappy.
She tries, she wishes to again be so her,
A prince shall come to make her feel so pure.
I missI missI miss2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the feeling of
your soft skin
the sore in
my paining heart
when you're away
you gave me
always and ever
returned to me
you my love
as I stand here
before your fresh grave
She Was a Stormcloudshe was a stormcloud, and you loved her,She Was a Stormcloud2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the two of you took walks and wore
nothing but promises,
broken chains and
strands of pinkish pearls.
and the two of you kissed under trees that attracted silver lightning
(metal branches scraped the sky, and you, always faithful,
tipped your coat over her head to keep her dry.)
but she never stayed that way.
in an instant, she had whirled into the rain
and danced without clothes,
and she left you
with the pain of frostbite on your naked skin
where you trusted her to kiss you warm,
and you thought you heard her laughter
when the sun came out again the next day,
and the next.
she was a stormcloud, and you loved her,
and you didn't know it at the time but
(and they never
Be Mine ForeverHold me tight; stroke my hair,Be Mine Forever2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Kiss my lips and twirl me in mid air.
Call me Luv; watch me pray,
Lock me in your arms and caress away.
Sing me songs; brush my tears,
Just let me clutch and my fears shall disappear.
Recite my jokes; and the silly bed-time stories,
Make me accept and bring back the glory.
Be my hope; the one who always inspires,
As you are the one who my heart desires.
Be my strength; show me light,
Watch the stars be aligned tonight.
Show me reality; make me believe.
Else love is the last thing I shall ever perceive.
Why?Why?Why?2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Why was I cursed with these size C tumors on my chest?
Why do I have this silly curve at my waist?
Why do my friends and family refer to me with ugly names like "her" and "she"?
Why is there an empty space between my legs?
Why can people tell me "You're a really ugly girl"?
Why won't people call me "A nice guy"?
Why don't my parents love me for who I am?
Why have my friends left me because I'm in the wrong body?
Why am I abused at school?
Why did that boy on my bus try to rape me?
Why don't I want sex?
Why have I never truly considered someone "Hot" or "Sexy"?
Why can I love someone without being attracted to them?
Why does no one care about me?
Why can't I trust anyone except my closest friend?
Why do my male friends say "If only you were a boy"?
Why do I hate myself?
Why must I wait seven years to change myself?
Why am I...... a girl..?
My name is Kameryn Theresa Pratt, and I am an asexual female to male transgender.
Real problems - Not killing people.Bullied every day, in and out, my apathy is my best friend.Real problems - Not killing people.2 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I never cared, the cuts would heal, broken bones would mend.
But every time it happened, there was a voice, whispering.
Kill them, you know you can, unleash your anger, give in.
That's the worst thing for me, about being bullied.
Not the pain, not the humiliation, but being restrained.
If I could unleash it all, I'd feel so much better...
Go on, unleash yourself, make yourself feel better!
No! I can't, and I honestly don't want to.
It's too much hassle after, being hated for what I do.
So yeah, call me a freak, call me a liar.
Come on, give in, they're just feeding the fire...
To quote my favourite song, I will not bow, I will not break.
"Hey, what you listening to? Oh, you're such an emo freak!"
I roll my eyes, apathetic, as they steal my iPod and smash it.
You're letting them?! Smash them l
Whispered wordsJust a few words whispered to youWhispered words2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
In your ear is what I want to do
Words you have heard often now
and you keep hearing if you allow
Words I will repeat and repeat
Every one for you a treat
You know what you will again hear
The words I whisper in your ear
Spoken soft and slow
My voice creaking low
They are only a few
I whisper: "I love you"
It Isn't MutualI think this is moreIt Isn't Mutual2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Than just a crush.
More than just one reason that every time
I see you, I blush.
I don't want to call it 'love'
'Cause I think that might be rushing.
I don't want to sound like a fangirl,
With all this mushy gushing.
The only thing is-
You don't feel the same.
You don't have the fireworks or fiz,
When you hear my name.
This like isn't mutual.
And it breaks my heart to know,
That you have eyes for another.
It takes my heart to a new low.
I know I must take a leave, go.
But since all the words out of your mouth keep me hanging,
Since you've had me at the first "hello."
I'm afraid of what I'll be left with, once I move on.
Make it rainFeel the hurt,Make it rain2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Feel the pain.
Let it go,
And make it rain.
Caressed by subtle lips,
And liquid finger tips.
Our cheeks brush,
Its more than enough.
But then she's lost.
Consumed by the now,
Restrained by the then
And overwhelmed by what's to come.
Sleeping fear and waking dread.
Monsters hiding under your bed.
Twisting turns, squirming threads,
Dancing lights throughout your head.
You must be willing to risk it all,
Standing strong to watch it fall.
I'll grab your hand through all the pain,
And pull you out as I make it rain.
Across the RiftBecause of who I amwho I've been, and my experiences during theAcross the Rift2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
transitionmy fingers tend to obtain a death grip on what I dub
give them an inch and they'll take a mile, gravitating further and further
with each inch so hesitantly given.
I couldn't bear to loosen my grip anymore;
I held the leash as close as allowed, feeling very clearly
each time you roughly pulled in the opposite direction.
Calluses were built, and leashes eventually clutched tighter,
So of course I'd find letting go hard.
Old FeelingsOld feelings I see in youOld Feelings2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You never really got over them properly
I just rush in to stop the process of that
I hopped in too quickly
I should have let you recover
But if I did what would have happened?
Would you had love me? Would you had love another person?
Would you ever love again?
These questions ran through my mind
And now you are in this mood
A mood of you don't know what to do anymore
You feel trap, wanting to escape
I'm here to help but you wanted to throw it away
Which makes me feel useless, alone, unwanted
That's why I was sighing a lot lately
You made me feel lost, making me not knowing where to go
You say I have a bright future, but I don't know what to do with it
Having a decent income, a family it's there but the question is, would you be in it?
I want you to be in it, I want you to happy again
But it seems you are just confused and frustrated
I try to turn that around but you are not wanting it
You want to try on your own, trying to find yourself
People always want to f
Wanted Disorders"Stop eatingWanted Disorders2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You're too fat
You can't possibly eat more
You need to purge now
You're so darn fat"
These are the thoughts
That are running through my mind
I want to be skinny
More than anything in the world
I want to be anorexic
I want to be bulimic
Yet, I can't seem to do it
I can't get myself to stop eating
I can't get myself to purge
But I crave it
I crave that feeling of hollowness in my stomach
Accompanied with satisfaction
Knowning that I could drop the weight so fast
I could become that beautiful skinny girl
That I know is lurking inside of me
But is trapped by all this fat
I know I can be gorgeous
I just can't get there
But I'm working on it
I shall become anorexic
I shall become bulimic
I shall drop that weight
I have no care of consequences
All I want is results
And this is how I shall achieve them.
gravity.waiting for you counting secondsgravity.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in an attempt to kill time.
waiting for you while you're
still leaving because falling in
love is like falling off of things and
I am still midair for you.
I never intended to feel anything
for you, I never intended to fall off of anything
for you. I never intended for you
to happen in any way. but you did and
so did I and so did we. and now
there's your name on my walls
and in between my fingers and
on the inside of my eyelids. There is
your voice in my blankets and
your scent between my legs and inside of
my closet and hidden in the carpet.
but most of all there's your fingerprints
you left but then again you never really did,
because you're still everywhere when I'm alone.
The flames of hope have flickered outThe flames of hope have flickered out2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Hope has returned, only to flicker out.
Gone before our eyes, almost touching it.
Our hand reaching, it destroyed to much.
The flames of hope are dark, we can't see.
No light in our eyes, guiding our path.
The journey will be in shadows again.
Whisper in your hands, before it escapes.
No words for your ears, hope is gone.
The light has slowly flickered out.
Our eyes are deaf, our ears are blind.
We can't see what's left behind.
Don't know what's in our front.
The flames of hope have flickered out.
We are left behind deaf and blind.
Yet we journey on, just to stay strong.
The Fall of Bitter HeartsReaching outThe Fall of Bitter Hearts2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Nothing to hold
Temper getting shorter
Still becoming cold
Burning in the shadows
Consumed eternal rage
A shiver in a million
Eyes freezing with hate
Taken to the turmoil
Where fearless men would start
Dragged into the misery
As the weakest ones depart
Convulsions in the body
Tension in the spine
Stand amidst the chaos
With our small desires to die
Purging into venom
Murder's now an art
Because the need for constant violence
Encases bitter hearts.
DreamsDreams... elusive.Dreams2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dreams of what it might have been
Dreams of what I could have seen
Dreams vanishing like steam
Dreams in a corner of my mind
Dreams in the middle of the night
Dreams lurking in the dark
Dreams that never came to be
Dreams that escaped from me
Dreams forever ceasing to breathe
Dreams of higher hopes
Dreams of desires in my thoughts
Dreams wishing to become
Dream to your heart's content
Dream 'till you reach the end.
For in dreaming you'll unwrap
The person who you really are.
He is ArtHe is art.He is Art2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
His hands are the right size,
and his smile is perfectly lopsided.
His eyes are dark,
but in the sun they're brighter than you can imagine.
They draw you in.
His abs are defined the right amount.
His arms are long enough to wrap around you,
and hold you.
He is art.
He can make you laugh when you do not want to,
but make you want to so badly.
You come to him when there is no one around,
even when there is.
He lets you borrow his strength and if that's not enough,
he lends more help.
He gives me everything.
He is art.
DetrimentalLike scars on your wristsDetrimental2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your eyes told it all
And everyone who saw them
Was irrevocably enthralled
Like the drugs on this table
Your smile was addictive
Was all that it afflicted
Like a schizophrenia patient
Your voice rang in our heads
Making it impossible to forget
A single word that you said
Like the worst alcoholic
You had me constantly inebriated
With you, my worst feelings
Were immediately alleviated
Some might say I should stay away
Because you're so dastardly
But that's what makes it fun
Because I like what's bad for me.
BeautyBut I will cry for youBeauty2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
who do not see your beauty,
that you are perfect
like so many can only say;
dreams will bow down to you, and you
will be the greatness we aspire to.
The brilliance in your heart
a moment before the flash illuminates our love
still stare into the mirror
past the beauty,
for something that doesn't exist
Glory in Silent MiseryGlorious silence,Glory in Silent Misery2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My name is no more,
Empty dark carvings in the frame of the door,
Hunted in shadows, all I crave that is sin,
Abandoned and weakened,
I am left in the wind.
In the pit I will burn,
The demon's that haunt me,
Disallow me to breathe,
Like sulfur and coal my soul it may reap,
You all left me behind, and you never looked back,
I now know my worth,
My worth is...
My worth is...
My worth is...
A ensemble of nothingness...