There Goes (That Feeling Again)It happens in a blink
sending your mind
into a deep abyss.
It's the feeling that eats at you,
slow and deep; painful and empty.
I'm feeling that feeling again
and it's bringing me down,
deeper and lower.
Will I ever come out?
There goes that feeling again
and its bring me down quick.
I'm trying to find the strength to surface
but I'm being eaten alive.
As your heart pounds through your skin
the rush of blood
causes explosions everywhere.
I feared it would end this way.
I'm losing this game.
When I open my eyes
will I be living?
Good Bye FriendGood ByeGood Bye Friend3 years ago in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
Bags packed hastily on an un made bed.
Inactive blue tack firmly attached to the walls.
Earthly possessions compiled regrettably.
Unfortunate circumstances have been confirmed.
Your chariot has arrived to take you away.
The hardest part is yet to come.
I know our connection will weaken.
No matter how hard we try to cling on.
Change is something we cannot avoid.
Memories are all we have to hold on to.
Realities rewind button has been disabled.
This game can never be won.
Humour temporarily dilutes the situation.
Silence is the only language spoken.
Eyes exchange compromising glances.
Half hearted commitments announced.
Things will never be the same.
This equations amounts to a complicated sum.
As you stand In the door way about to exit.
Life's bank has withdrawn all the quality time we invested.
Hopeful plans for the future proclaimed.
Of which a fixed date can never be named.
I will miss you more than you ever know.
I've finally accepted the fact that you must go.
SeducersWet they offer themselvesSeducers3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Delicate like a kiss kept in ice
Hunters with lust-filled veins
On show pretending to be nice
Looking for a prey to devour
But bitten they want to be too
I dream of them every hour
And of them I'll fall prey too
They tease me and play
My lust belongs now to them
They control my every way
My passion tied to their chains
Red, glowing, inviting
I want , I thirst, I desire
Dripping, juicy, seducing
I die, I crave, I need
Sensually calling my name
Whispers subjugate my will
Biting, tracing my flesh in pain
Powerless they make me feel
I surrender and let myself go
For to those lips I can't say no.
Make it rainFeel the hurt,Make it rain3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Feel the pain.
Let it go,
And make it rain.
Caressed by subtle lips,
And liquid finger tips.
Our cheeks brush,
Its more than enough.
But then she's lost.
Consumed by the now,
Restrained by the then
And overwhelmed by what's to come.
Sleeping fear and waking dread.
Monsters hiding under your bed.
Twisting turns, squirming threads,
Dancing lights throughout your head.
You must be willing to risk it all,
Standing strong to watch it fall.
I'll grab your hand through all the pain,
And pull you out as I make it rain.
Presevred DespairPreserved DespairPresevred Despair3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Do not burn my body
Do not bury me at sea:
Keep my body safe and still
There may yet be life in me.
I walk now, demoted
I walk with musing grief,
My keening is full-throated
With the entered souls beneath.
They know my song, and so we sing it
Though they see that I'm not dead;
Yet still the muses bring it
When I should sing life instead.
Do not be fooled by burned out eyes
Or by my deadened, matted hair
For you will find with great surprise
That I still preserve despair.
Yet there may be a day of wonder
When my breath will cease to be
When I am freed to wander
When I can give up all of me
But do not spring too early,
As serenely I might lie--
Look and then see clearly--
That indeed, they let me die.
--Anxiety--grip--Anxiety--6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
(the tingle of my thoughts).
(hold of the table
and just breathe...
it's like pulling hairs
from the back of my neck
to prove that i feel pain,
trying to scratch the itch
out of anxious palms
because pencils rub my skin to shreds
and i can't master my words anymore.
i wish i could just
and let my thoughts flow freely,
but the minute hand is shouting betrayal
and i can't see beyond the marker
coating my fingertips.
maybe it'll draw out my ideas).
i've lost my muse).
(my life with both my hands,
because my sanity is fading fast).
And i wish i could write
(i wish i could make better sense
of the junk filling my head)...
but the anxiety of unutttered words
is choking me.
(maybe I'm trying too hard...)
i see you pushing the universei do not know what is wrong with me-i see you pushing the universe6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
i will only use my purple pencil for my journal
i will only use my green pencil for homework
i will only use my pink pencil for things like this
but i am using my purple pencil, and i do not know why
i would not roll my car window down yesterday while i smoked. i could hardly see, and i know i wasn't breathing, but i felt like i deserved to choke on myself, but today
i am smearing ink all over the page, and the only person i have to blame for it- is me. and god, i would love to tell you:
i dream of you, and you are always saying the same things. this is too hard. but all i can ever do is agree with you, and
i do not know why i
bite my nails until they're bleeding question marks
complain about my father's absence to my beaten down mother
cry every time i see you pushing the universe down a hill, but
let me tell you what i know,
my mind h
HeartbrokenI loved, I cared, I gave you all that I could,Heartbroken3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
My misfortune; I couldn't be all that you wanted.
I hoped, I wished, and I thought you understood,
My misfortune; my heart felt taunted.
I wondered, I asked, and I prayed for your own good.
My misfortune; I felt so unwanted,
I pleaded, I begged, all to share thoughts I could,
My misfortune; I neglected the hurt you had planted.
I was stupid, I was blind, I was unable to read your mind,
My misfortune; I still messaged you.
I learnt my lesson, I felt the world, I now think I know it,
Dont worry, you shall never feel so lacerated.
I promise, I swear, I shall never speak to you again,
For I deserved it all to have fallen for you.
I was silly, I was weird, and I was dumb to think --
How could I been the one you cherished?
But may you answer if you could -- how could someone be so indecisively cruel?
A cold-heart with its own blood, uncaring with bleeding hearts
I question if you care truly for my well being,
Or if it is just an illusion to fill
:heartache flavors sunshine:dear tomorrow::heartache flavors sunshine:6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
you've put off your appearance too long. the sky is rebelling. pinpricks of light illuminate black canvas, a vigilent reminder of the you that we're missing. the dark is depressing, midnight choking down the world because happiness doesn't thrive here. why are you still hiding? i realize it hurts, the pugnant odor of misplaced hopes and heart-wrenching melodies, but you can't stay lost forever. you put your trust in his lies and he shattered your cloud-cover protections, but you need to move on. his light may have faded, but that doesn't give you the right to. come back.
your radiance is dazzling, glitter enveloping my irises as you stream through the window. you made the moon come out of her depression; she's a sliver of white in your clear sapphire portrait. it took you days to stop your blathering; the streaks of your tears still stain the hood o
my brick housei don't knowmy brick house4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my language anymore
i got carried away
with being unique
and new. the
adoration and perfectly
timed line breaks. so
you feel a part of
everything. like you are in
the thick of things.
you are not.
i hated that
old brick house. it
the house would creak
with the pipes
and blow a long
with the winter
winds. it would
sweat with you on
the dogs day. i hated
that place. because
what you did-
it was you. the house
was you when you
were you. and it
when i was
on the carpet sobbing
like a wild
two shots through
the house was
crying with you
hurting with you.
and that's what i
you are not
here. never were.
so i cannot
adapt or drama-
tize my words
to try and make
you feel the way
i need you to feel.
this is for me.
the boys tasted
and how i fell
in love. but my
so how can
i make you
--Fate--the hands of destiny have never been kind.--Fate--6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
they twist you up
and twirl you down
and leave you gasping in the wake of
even when you realize
that nothing's ever gonna be the same.
but this form of fate isn't yearning
for something grander than chocolate bars
and black-tie affairs.
this is one of those moments
when the world simply stops
and lets the heart beat in sync with his name.
I said Don'tDon't stare at me I'm fine,I said Don't5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Don't look at me I'm fine,
Yeah, I know it hurts,
You don't need to know how much.
So what if I cry,
You don't need to know why.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Just leave me alone.
Tonight time should stop,
I want to hold his hand,
And scream his name to heaven.
Don't stare at me I'm fine,
Don't look at me I'm fine.
Yeah, I know it hurts,
You don't need to know how much.
Poise and smiles is all I want you to see,
Happiness and calm is all you think I should be.
Crying and yelling is what I'm really holding,
Even though I don't know how to let it free.
I said I'm okay,
Why can't you stay away?
I don't need your pity,
It only brings my shame.
Don't stare at me I'm fine,
Don't look at me I'm fine.
Yeah, I know it hurts,
You don't need to know how much.
The Things I'll Never Saya.The Things I'll Never Say6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you stole pages from my life,
words I'd have preferred
over the glitter you left behind.
you never did make sense;
i thought maybe,
if i examined your margins closely enough,
maybe i'd figure out a way
to keep you close
when nobody else ever could.
i need my ending back.
that it was never destined for your grease stains.
mail it via "Moving On."
you still have chunks of me beneath your nails,
portions of my heartstrings
where you clung too tightly.
you were much too grand
for a first heartache;
your addiction for fast cars
and too much nicotine
should have warned me from the get-go
that you weren't something i deserved.
i'm an addict
when it comes to troubled souls;
you were the first of several
i failed at collecting.
i need my skin returned.
the holes in my chest
have been empty too long
and i haven't been yours in years.
i heard through the grapevine
that you've put a ring on her finger.
i hope it works out for you.
forgive me for asking,
Aquarius-ScuttlinglikeScarabsOcean-floor eyesAquarius-ScuttlinglikeScarabs4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like beach sand on sweaty backs,
pebbles caught on flushed,
scuttle like scarabs
beneath my probing fingers
and I might have fallen
for that washed-out
can't-breathe-beneath-the-weight-of-the-sea act before,
but I think it's your name
that keeps me dreaming now.
Like the star-sign,
you reel me in under false pretenses,
I shouldn't have taken you home so soon.
You tell me
you've never been so sure of anything
but when you grin,
you look like a Taurus,
and that sky you've been drenching me with?
It's just a dangerous lie.
And I will Always be the MoonWe have gotten so attached to these days and these months,And I will Always be the Moon3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but a deer doesn't know a Tuesday from a Thursday
and a caribou can't comprehend that it was born on a September afternoon,
but they can understand this instant, this moment, this breath,
only now, no longer the past, and only the future when they get there,
there's a healthy lack of awareness in that,
escaping the fear of death but thriving off the instinct to live,
everything so primal and based off gut reactions,
I guess you could say ignorance is bliss,
but ignorance only actually applies when it comes to humanity,
oh I would like a life like that,
one that is organic, tangible, and ripe with bloody berries,
one where carnal creatures run rampant,
one where we rise from the dirt with muddy thighs
because we were bred into these earthly bodies
to hold seconds in our palms like newborn children,
and to throw our heads back and howl against the awareness that we are dying,
for oh this skin is only our host,
NostalgiaI sit silently and wonder if you are doing the same thingNostalgia3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Closing your eyes while having flashbacks of our memories
Maybe you sigh deeply and slowly, imagining my eyes
You clasp your hand tightly, wishing for it to be mine
I wonder if you battle a war within yourself, waiting for me
Attempting to sleep but you toss and turn, yearning for warmth
Maybe nostalgia won in this case, causing you to stay awake
You dial my number, yet you hesitantly erase each one by one
Because you realize that I've been long gone, moved on
You try to convince yourself that second chances don't exist:
A sense of reminiscence has simply overcome your mind.
Just for a SecondMaybe I can pretendJust for a Second3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Pretend just for a minute
That everything is okay
That you're still with me
That you never hurt me
Pretend that you still think of me
Just for a second
Just one fucking second
I want to hear you
I want to hear your voice
That one voice telling me it'll be okay
The voice that calmed me down
Every time I lost control
The voice that once told me I was beautiful...
I miss it, I miss you
I just want to pretend
That you never called me that night
That you never lied
That we still mean the world to eachother...
Just let me think that
Please, tell me that you still love me
Just for a second.
Tear Stains and Broken SmilesShe writes lettersTear Stains and Broken Smiles6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
across her makeup,
red-rouged love stories
destined for kill-me-blue eyeshadow
and it-hurts-too-much blush
staining the tip of her pen as she bleeds.
She tries to dab her eyes,
but tears and goodbyes have never mixed well
and she ends up leaving spatters on the page
as she fights to hold her chin up.
It's not magic,
the glitter clinging to her palms;
it's just desire leaving her soul
with every sob she loosens from her tongue.
And she'll never understand
that makeup doesn't disguise everything;
she'll be just as broken in the morning
as she is when scrubbing his departure from her skin
and calling her mascara waterproof.
It'll keep her tears from staining,
but that doesn't mean she'll never cry.
And she paints makeup on her cheekbones
as she signs her name in ruby red,
but she'll never forget
the ways his fingers trailed her lipstick
or the ache he left behind
when she rolled onto frozen pillows the morning after.
Makeup doesn't help
when the sunrise took the twinkle
Breathstrokes and Fangmarksrip me to pieces,Breathstrokes and Fangmarks6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
nails dripping my crimson life
onto carpets of white
as you sink your perfect teeth
through vulnerable arteries
do you hear it?
i'm pounding out my breaths for you,
begging you to stay,
begging love to slay me
in hopes my memories will die, too.
slipping venom-streaked words across blank pages
because you've never meant goodbye.
i just want you out of here,
i want you gone from me,
but you ease like the wind
through cracks i can't heal over
and i'm chugging down my barriers
but breaking bricks has always been your forte.
you kill me,
don't you see?
flavor my water poisoned
and let me exhale one last time.
maybe that's when you'll let me go,
because even you won't damn yourself
to chewing on lost heartbeats.
just let me go.
i can't stand the sound
of your fangs gnawing scars through bone anymore.
(and you'll never find the heart.
you threw it out years ago,
when you swore to never lov
st--ellun--arI'm not stellar. I don't flare like the sun when the clouds break apart, cotton smoke-signals shadowing the haunted souls below as I pass them by. In fact, I'm more likely to cover the beams than let them trespass on my kindness; I've always handled the night better, but I can't find it in me to boot the moon from the sky. And if you were wondering, I have a nasty love-affair with the stars, but I don't claim to wake up with their wishes coated like dust upon my hair or their twinkles blinding my eyes like the chaos of summertime sparklers. I might be unique (I often wear the wrong smiles or hear misspelled words in people's speeches), but I'll never claim to be an alien (unfortunately, the only thing wrong with me is the glitter in my blood and the scent of oranges beneath my fingerprints). And no, it's not the light reflected on my pupils that makes the world so wet. It's just my tears.st--ellun--ar6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
::shattered soaring soul::she whispers sequins and sparkles::shattered soaring soul::6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as you dream up her world,
bubblegum chapstick flavoring your tongue
as you sweep kisses down her sides.
the bruises are striking on her skin,
marble and spilled ink erupting like your words
as you spout promises you'll never keep.
"it'll be okay.
you'll be okay.
she knows you'll never keep them
(promises with such a heavy burden
are quick to stray from idle tongues
and leave behind their heartache),
but she listens anyway
as she twirls her fingers through your hair
and dreams of better days.
his palmprint still remains upon her waist,
fingerprints stretching like chains
toward the places she never let him touch,
the scars she never lets you see.
you whisper promises
and her veins scream for relief,
for just one chance to breathe...
because he drowned her in his cruelty
and she can't catch her gasps with you.
you've lifted her above the clouds,
but all she sees is the wreck that she's become.
all she hears are her scared so
Too IndifferentHate me, I don't careToo Indifferent3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Hate me, if you dare
I am who I am and I won't change
I won't take back a word I meant
Despise me, say I am deranged
Since to your world order I never bent
Mock me, I don't care
Mock me, if you dare
Your words mean nothing to me at all
Soon your wrath will fall back on you
Insult me and yell at me and squall
Smoke and mirrors, in the end, off they blew
Charge me, I don't care
Charge me, if you dare
Blame me for all things I committed
And for all I have not done
Are you better if I admitted
Them? Too bad, but you still have not won
Bark, little dog, bark
Bite, little dog, bite
Try, little dog. I won't fight with you
You're too indifferent to me
You're not the first, not the last one, too
Who can't (under)stand the way I chose to be
One ThoughtYou know that one thought,One Thought3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That makes you squirm inside?
Maybe it makes you giggle,
Like your stomach is bringing in the tide?
That one thought,
That makes you double take,
Maybe makes you feel fake?
It could be a loving thought,
Maybe "I love you"?
But maybe it makes you stomach feel taught,
Like another friend gone.
That one thought always in the back of your mind,
But when you dig to find it,
Sometimes it's hard to find.
'Cause you push it to the back.
That thought that maybe makes you hate
Of maybe makes you believe in fate.
Or inquires who you really are.
It gives you feelings that you didn't know you had.
Gives you maybe hatred, love, anger
Remember that you shouldn't feel bad.
Remember that it's only one thought.
Your Only DollYou dug your fingers into myYour Only Doll5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Skin. Forcing your way deep into
An empty shell full of disintegrated ashes
Sewing broken pieces together.
You didn't care if they fit.
Your favorite toy.
Lighting fires to
Keep you warm from
The frozen wasteland you
Hid inside your burning body.
Look at your disfigured masterpiece.
Tell me do you like what you see?
A smile will creep from under your
Splintered lips unveiling fractured teeth
You don't like what you see.
You laugh as you burn my insides
To ashes. Tomorrow we'll play again
Sometimes I wish I wasn't your
i drank youI drank youi drank you4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I drank you
I got trashed
So fucked up the blackness, the blackout
was threatening to take me over
Steal our one last moment
It was not glorious
The seconds ticking away
None of it was poetic, or very beautiful
I drank you
Your vodka lips
Your tequila fingers
I drank you all night long,
and I didn't regret it in the morning
My breathing was loud
Breathe, sip, breathe
The whole house could hear me sigh
But nobody cared
And that's not what is important
The final words
The memory is cloudy, black fog hanging in the corners
And someday the haze might take it over
But tonight? Our faces are stuck in my mind
They are liquid and lovely
The last thing I said
It was not what I wanted it to be
Not what I wanted it to sound like dripping off my lips
My anger wanted to envelope the moon and send it away
But our liquor love kept me calm
Smoke claimed our eyes
Music overtook our ears
But I could smell the beer you were raising to your mouth
And I've never had