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A Simpsons' Christmas

Chapter 1
Homer: Everyone ready? *Homer stopped singing*
Lisa: Yes, Dad! *Lisa looked at Bart as if to say, 'You better say yes!'*
Bart: No.
Homer: OK then! Off we go! WOOHOO!!!
Bart: I thought you didn't want to come!
Homer: That's in the past, boy! Just like "The Ghost of Christmas Future"!
Lisa: Dad, don't you mean "Past"?
Homer: Past what?
Lisa: The Ghos- Oh never mind! Can we go now!
Homer: Go where?
Lisa: Urgh! To get the Christmas tree!!!
Homer: Oh right! *Homer laughed*
Homer: Why… Won't… You… Work… *Homer tried to start the car*
Homer: COME ON! *Homer banged his fist against the steering wheel*
Bart: Problem?
Homer: If this is another one of your pran- *Homer's car started*
Bart: I didn't do nothin'! *Bart grinned a big cheesy grin at Homer*
Homer: Let's see what's on. *Homer switched on the radio*
KBBL: 102.5 FM, KBBL here, making your day… average. First up is a once in a lifetime opportunity to win a lifetime supply of bottled water! To enter the prize draw, all you have to do is give us all your personal details, then you might have a chance of winning!
Homer: Mmm… Lifetime supply of bottled water. *Homer drooled*
Bart: Uh, Homer… You don't even like water.
Homer: But they made it sound so tasty! Must. Send. Personal. Details. *Homer skidded the car sideways*
Lisa: DAD! THE ROAD!!!!!!
Homer: Oh, yeah. *Homer swerved the car… into a tree*
This is the first chapter of my first fanfic, "A Simpsons' Christmas". Before you read it, make sure to read the prologue! Sorry that I didn't post this sooner, I've been so busy!!! Anyway, enjoy!

Click links for Prologue, Chapter 2 and Chapter 3
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Chapter 5,More Secrets?

It was now morning at the Kurosaki manor. But it was a special morning to wake up to,it was the morning after Ichigo submitted his love to Rukia. Rukia sighed as she woke up from her sleep. She looked at Ichigo,and sighed again. 'What happens if I get pregnant with Ichigo's child? Since he's the one I'm not supposed to marry. Oh Ichigo...' thought Rukia. She was really worried about this. "What's wrong with you Rukia? Worried about our relationship?" said Ichigo as he woke up. "Ichigo...Yeah I am worried about it." confessed Rukia. "Mostly about me getting pregnant with your child." "Rukia,you don't have to worry about that. No matter what happens,I will protect you and always love you. Especially that." "Oh Ichigo,I love you." said Rukia leaning on her lover's shoulder. "I love you too Rukia." said Ichigo,cuddling with Rukia's naked body. "Shouldn't we get dress?" asked Rukia. "Um...yeah we should." answered Ichigo. So they quickly changed into their clothes,and went downstairs. In which they were greeted by Isshin saying: "How was your 'Lovely Night'?" Both of them started to blush like strawberries. "You Pervert!" yelled Ichigo,kicking his father in the gut. "Will I have a grandchild soon?" asked Isshin holding his stomach,on the floor. "Who knows?!" said Ichigo,annoyed. "Come on Rukia. Let's go on walk." "No,I'm sorry Ichigo,but I have to go home. I'll see you later though. Love you and bye." said Rukia kissing Ichigo's head. "Same here." said Ichigo kissing her. Then Rukia ran out of the manor. Ichigo sighed. "I just love that girl."

As Rukia was walking home,she was singing a song.  "The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lay awake missing you..." Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her. 'Who's there?" yelled Rukia. "Hi Rukia-chan!" yelled a girl's voice,one that Rukia recognized. "Rangiku,is that you?" asked Rukia. "Aw! You caught me!" said Rangiku. "I recognize that voice anywhere." "I guess so. So Rukia-chan,how was your 'Lovely Night' with Ichigo?" asked Rangiku. "HUH?! How did you...?" stuttered a shocked Rukia. "Well,I sorta spied on you two..." sweatdropped Rangiku. "Rangiku..." growled Rukia. "Heheheh...Sorry Rukia-chan." "I'm gonna kill you Rangiku!" "Bye Rukia-chan!" said Rangiku,running away from the pissed off Rukia.

1 month later...

Rukia sighed. She was upset for two reasons. One,she has to marry Renji in a month. Two,she hasn't been feeling really good for about 2 days. It was just an hour ago she found out what was wrong with her. And now she was on her way to Ichigo's. "Hello Kuchiki-san." said Toushirou. "Oh,Hi Hitsugaya." said Rukia,as kept on walking to Ichigo's. "What the big rush?" "I'm going over Ichigo's again." "Un-huh." "Hey,how about you make out with your girlfriend or something?" Toushirou started to blush. "That's where I was going to,Rangiku's home." "Well see ya." "Bye."

"I finally made it to Ichigo's." said Rukia. As she knocked on the door,she was starting to feel sick again. 'Answer the freakin door,please.' thought Rukia. Suddenly,the door opened and the one who opened the door was Ichigo. "Ichigo!" said Rukia. "Hey Rukia." said Ichigo. "Come in." "Thank you."
When Rukia was walking in,she felt dizzy. And she started to fall. "Rukia,are you alright?" asked a concerned Ichigo.
"Sorta of,I haven't be feeling well for about two days."

"Then why did you come here?"

"Because I have something to tell you."

"Well tell me right now."

"Un-un,I want to go to your room."


As Ichigo helped Rukia upstairs,she told him that she was sorry for coming here when she was sick,but it was important.

"Okay,so now will you tell me?" said Ichigo setting Rukia on his bed.

"First before I tell you,someone was spying on us while we did it."

"Who was it?"

"It was my friend Rangiku. Don't worry,you can trust her."


"Now I will tell you. Ichigo,I love you dearly."

"I love you too Rukia. You're not dying are you?"

"No,I'm not. But it's going to change our whole lives."



"You're what?"


"Spit it out Rukia!"

"I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!"
Here's chapter 5. Sorry it's short. I promise the next chapter will be longer! ^^ Sorry about the cliffhanger. ^^; I just had to do it! Originally this wasn't going to happen until like at the end of the story,But I wanted to put it in so bad! So now here is the chapter.

The song Rukia was singing is called Vanilla Twilight by Owl City. It such a cute song and it's my favorite song from them. Here's the song link:[link]

Comments are :heart:
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RAFA: Thera X Noam Drabbles (Part one)

After Noam had placed Thera on the ground, she stared up at him and he stared right back at her. Then, in one swift motion, Thera had locked lips with Noam. Noam's eyes widened and he was only able to kiss back for about five seconds when she let go.

"S-Sorry..." Was all Thera could say before she ran off.

Noam's face was beet red when he walked over to Lilly. One look at his face and Lilly laughed and slapped him on the back.

"Nice work genius."


2) Thera screamed as they fell from the air, but Noam was prepared for this. Quickly, he grabbed Thera, tucked her under his arm and pulled the cord to his parachute.

Thera stopped screaming and stayed close to Noam as they fell down gently to the ground. Noam was the only person she could trust to save her in these situations. He was her anchor, but she was his angel and he couldn't let her get hurt.

As soon as they touched ground, the parachute fell over them and they struggled to get it off. In their attempts to get it off, the two found themselves face to face and holding the cords. They blushed, looked away and continued to fold the parachute.

As soon as they were done, Thera leaned against Noam and he held her as she whispered, "Thanks again Noam. I owe you almost everything."

Noam smiled, smoothed down her hair and said, "You don't owe me anything Thera. Except for those dance lessons you were going to give me."

Thera smiled, punched him lightly in the ribs and hugged him. He hugged her back and helped her back to her house.

3) Thera was walking home from school, still smiling from the compliments she got for her beret. "I have to thank mom for getting me this." Thera thought to herself inspecting the beret, just as a gust of wind blew the beret out of her hands and flew away from her.

"My hat!" Thera cried and ran in the direction it was flying away to. As she ran, she smelled the fresh sea water and felt the soft sand under her shoes. When she caught the hat, she looked around and saw that she was at the beach. She looked around and breathed in the fresh salty air.

As she turned to leave, there was a sound of hitting water. She turned into direction if the sound and saw Noam by the water, his face scrunched up in concentration.

She slowly walked up behind him no making a sound, but she jumped when he said, "Doesn't work when you shift the sand with your feet."

Thera blushed in embarrassment and walked to stand beside him where he picked up another flat rock, rubbed it with his hand and skipped it across the water about six or seven times before it fell into the water.

"Wow! That was amazing Noam!" Thera cried. She looked around at for a flat rock and after she found one, she threw it just to see if she could impress Noam.

Instead, the stone hit the water hard and sank to the ground. Thera groaned in dismay and her shoulders dropped. "I can never skip rocks properly. What's wrong with me?"

"It's the way you hold and throw the rock that's putting you off." Noam explained to her, finding two more flat rocks and handed one to her. Then he started to teach her the correct way to do it.

"It's all in the wrist Thera. You need to flick it hard and low enough so that it hits the water to make it skip. Bend your knees a bit and turn sideways a little."

Noam shook his head when Thera positioned her hand wrong. He went over to her, placed his hand on hers and said, "No, like this."

Thera blushed when she felt Noam's hand on hers, but she followed his instructions and got into the right position. Trying to hide her blush, she steadied the rock in her hand before flicking it across the water. The stone hit the water and bounced off the water three times.

Thera squealed in delight and Noam nodded in approval. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile which he returned.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew past them and knocked off Thera's beret, floating away from the kids and the water.

"Not again!" Thera cried in annoyance and ran off to catch it. Noam stared at her retreating back before picking up his bag and running after her, helping her to get the hat back.

4) "Give it back Les!" Noam shouted after his friend. Les laughed playfully before stopping and dodging his friend's tackle. Les laughed and after a while, Noam joined in as well.

"I'll give it back to you I promise." Les said waving the guitar strap in the air. "I just wanted to see why it's so different from your other straps."

"My dad got that for me three years ago." Noam replied, standing up and holding out his hand to Les. "Okay, can I have it back now?"

"Hold on." Les said patiently and held the guitar strap before him and examined the artwork on the strap. "Was your dad an artist as well?"

"No not really." Noam answered his hand still outstretched. He made a 'give it here' motion with his hand and Les shrugged. Just as Les walked over to give it to him, he tripped and the guitar strap flew in the air and landed on a tree branch.

"My guitar strap!" Noam shouted seriously and he ran to the tree, Les behind him. They looked up and they paled when they saw how high it was from the ground.

"How the heck am I going to get that down?" Noam thought to himself and started to panic. "What if I can't? What if it breaks when I try to get it down? I don't want that to happen!"

"I can get it down for you Noam."

Both boys turned around to see Thera standing behind them, hands behind her back and smiling at them. Lars was right behind her, but he was pulling something heavy with him.

Before Les could protest, Thera said sweetly, "Les, could you please help Lars? I can take care of this myself."

Les studied her face for any sign of nervousness, but he nodded and ran to go help Lars. As soon as Les left, Thera walked to the tree and started to climb it.

"Wait, Thera don't! Y-You'll get hurt!" Noam cried but he knew it was too late. Thera was high up and close to the guitar strap.

"Relax Noam. I'm almost there." Thera shouted back at him. Slowly and carefully, she stretched out her hand and her fingers brushed the soft material before closing around it and pulling it towards her. She smiled and it held it high in the air to show Noam.

"See?" She called back moving backwards on the branch. "I told you I would-WOAH!"

Thera slipped from the branch and fell, but caught it with her free hand. Slipping slowly, she looked back down at Noam, scared, and cried, "Noam! HELP ME PLEASE!" before she lost her grip and screamed as the ground rushed towards her.

Something inside Noam made him snap, and in one quick motion he ran forward, lunged and held his arms out towards her.

Thera screamed once more but stopped when she landed in Noam's arms. The two teens looked at each other, before looking away with their faces bright red.

"T-Thanks Noam." Thera said handing him the guitar strap. Noam accepted it with a nod but couldn't help but stare at her. He hesitated but he kneeled down and hugged her tightly.

"No. Thank you Thera." He whispered. Thera blushed some more, but smiled and patted his head, replying, "You're welcome."

"Um, guys?"

The two stopped hugging and looked at Lars, Mr. Twitchy and Les. Behind them was a trampoline. It was Lars who spoke and he asked,

"Do you guys want to jump on the trampoline with us? We'll go very high!"

5) "I text a postcard sent to you.
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you
You are the moonlight of my life every night..."

Thera paused where she was and listened to Noam's voice. She never knew that he could sing! She also never knew that his singing was very handsome and-

Thera shook her head out of those thoughts and peeked through the crack of the door. Inside, Noam was playing his guitar, singing, and Lars was on the piano, playing the tune beautifully.

"I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you"

Thera listened to Noam singing until he finished the song with the final chords. Lars sat back, spun around and smiled his goofy grin at him.

"I didn't know you could sing like that Noam! Why didn't you tell anyone?" Lars asked him innocently.

"I told you before already, Lars. I played the guitar and not sing because I'm afraid of what everyone will think." Noam explained while he rolled his eyes. Lars narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him.

"JUST everyone? Or is there someone specifically you don't want them to hear your lovely singing voice?" He asked leaning back and propping his elbows behind him on the piano.

Noam shifted uncomfortably but Lars's eyes pierced right through his eyes and Lars gave out a hearty laugh.

"It's her isn't? You can't sing around her because she'll think you're not cool enough to have an awesome voice like that?" Lars guessed enthusiastically. When Noam didn't answer, he chuckled to himself, "I knew it."

"It's not like I try to hide it but I don't want her to think I'm an idiot." He said angrily at him. He held his hands up in defense and said, "I'm just saying you need to be a bit more open if you want her to notice you."

"WHO is he talking about?" Thera thought to herself and immediately thought of Holly, the one Les has a crush on. She rolled her eyes and looked back at Noam, who still didn't see her.

Noam sighed sadly and Lars patted his hand, saying, "You'll be fine Noam." He then looked at the door and grinned at Thera saying, "Besides, she's outside right now if you want to tell her how you feel about her."

Thera gasped and quickly covered her mouth, but it was too late. With a quick few steps, Noam swung the door open and stared at Thera and there was an awkward silence between them.

"I L-L-LOVE YOUR SINGING NOAM!" Thera blurted out in front of him. Covering her mouth and her entire face turning red, she turned and ran out of the hallway.

Noam stood there, stunned by Thera's confession. Behind him, Lars chuckled once more and said, "Young love. What can you do?"

6) Noam stood in front of the room Lilly instructed him to go to. He asked her for some advice on what to get for Thera, but she handed him a slip of paper, saying, "Room 22 during third period. Use this to get out of class."

Noam was relived since third period was his gym class. He knocked on the door and waited until he opened the door himself.

"Okay Lilly," Noam said when he entered the room, "What is it that you wanted..."

He trailed off when he saw the other two occupants in the room. Chet Flickerman sneered at him while Burt Bufferman pounded his fist with his his other hand. Noam gulped and jumped when the door closed by itself.

"Alright that's enough you two." Lilly said, sharply clapping to get the their attention. They all turned to look at her and saw that she was holding three small dolls in her hand.

"Take a seat Noam. This won't take very long." She said taking a seat on the teacher's desk. Noam did so, sitting between Chet and Burt. They glared at him for a moment before turning their attention to Lilly. She eyed all three of them while playing with the dolls, throwing them from hand to hand.

"Do you boys know why I asked you to take some time out from your third period classes and come here?" Lilly asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at each of them. They all shrugged and Lilly sighed tiredly. She answered the question by throwing them one doll and saying, "Because all of you boys asked me for some advice on what to get for a certain girl you all like."

Noam looked at the doll on the table and saw it was a small replica of Thera. He picked it up and looked over at Chet's and Burt's dolls who were, surprisingly, the Trishas'

Noam's thoughts were interrupted when Lilly said, "Take a look at the dolls I have just given you and think what they would want. Could be one or two things but it has to be something they really like and/or love."

Noam thought on what Thera would want in her whole entire life. He thought about her favorite sports, movies, books but nothing special came to mind.

Finally, he dropped the doll and said, "I've got nothing that Thera really likes."

"For once, I agree with genius boy here." Chet said and did the same as Noam did. "There's just so many choices out there; which one do we choose?"

Lilly stared at him before breaking into a smile and laughing. All three boys looked confused and once Lilly was done laughing, Burt asked angrily, "What's so funny? You think it's funny we can't think of anything for them?"

"No Burt I'm not thinking of that." Lilly said once she stopped laughing. Then she stood up, walked to the chalkboard and spelled out one word that the boys were surprised to see.

"CHOICE." Lilly said tapping the board with her chalk. She leaned forward across the desk and explained. "What if you didn't have a choice in what you wanted to wear? What you wanted to do or what movie you want to see? How would you feel? Trapped, I presume."

"Yeah, I would but how is this supposed to help us?" Noam asked still confused by all this. Lilly tapped her glasses with her finger and answered his question.

"If you're going to get your crushes something, make sure you're making the right choice on what to give them. If you can't choose between two items, don't just buy one of them and think she may like it. Buy both so that she has a CHOICE."

"Simply put it this way boys: If a guy doesn't let a girl choose what she wants or what she thinks is right, the relationship may not last long. It's not about control but it's about how well you two can work out your problems and how you can make each other happy, without having to rely on other peoples' opinion about them." Lilly flipped her hair back and said, "Do we all understand what I'm trying to say here?"

The boys thought for a moment before Noam said, "So, what you're trying to say to us is that when we want to find something for our crushes, we should be thinking of what they want and not what we think they might want?"

"And if we can't decide on it, we go to them and ask which one they like best and give them a choice?" Chet added to Noam's question.

"Oh! We also need to give them a choice because not every girl has a choice or say in what they want?" Burt said suddenly. He looked at Noam and Chet, who looked surprised, and he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I thought it counted."

"It counts Burt." Lilly said just as the bell rang. Lilly waved them out and told them, "Keep the dolls as a reminder of your goals. If you make them happy, they in return will make you happy."


At the bus stop, the kids were waiting for the bus when Thera ran up to them and holding two butterfly clips.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late but I couldn't decide which clip to wear today." Thera said holding the clips out to them. "Should I wear the dark purple one or the lavender one today?"

Before Noam could say something, Les and Lars shouted, "The purple one!""The lavender one!"

Both boys looked at each other and they shrugged at Thera, telling her they didn't know.

Thera looked down at the ground, but Noam placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "You should choose whatever works for you Thera. I mean, it's your choice anyways."

"Really?" Thera asked him a bit surprised. Noam nodded in agreement and so did the other boys. Thera eyed him  before placing the lavender clip on her hair and hugged him. Noam returned the hug and he let her hug him until the bus came.

7) "I don't know guys." Thera said to both Lilly and Emily. "I mean, what if he doesn't like me back? What do I do then?"

The girls were hanging out in a tree house that Lilly had built with her parents in their backyard. They were munching on snacks and finishing up their homework when Thera asked the question.

"I'm sure you'll be fine Thera." Emily said patting her hand and smiling at her. "If he's ready then he'll tell you when he is completely ready. Can't rush love you know."

"I know." Thera sighed and rested her head on her hands. "But I really want to know if he does like me in some way. Like, just a bit more than a friend."

Lilly had kept quiet throughout the whole conversation until she looked out the window and grinned.

"Hey Thera." Lilly said interrupting Emily and Thera. She pointed out the window with her thumb and said, "Your prince charming has gotten you something."

In an instant, Thera quickly got out of the door and slide down to the ground. She turned around and gasped as Noam walked up to her with a huge teddy bear and a new skateboard with a fabulous design on it.

Noam set down the items and was immediately greeted with a crushing hug from Thera. He choked for air but returned the hug anyways.

The two sisters watched as Noam and Thera hugged and they started talking. Emily turned to her sister with a smirk and asked, "You taught him how to sew?"

Lilly scoffed and said, "I just helped him with making the machine he used to make the bear." Then, she eyed Emily and said back with a grin, "You helped to create a design for that skateboard?"

"With what he visioned on it, yes." Emily answered back. The two girls smiled and gave the other a fist bump. They looked back out the window and watched as Noam walked Thera back to her house, giggling and laughing at his attempts to mimic Les.

8) "Ahhh!" Thera shouted when she saw the lightning flash past her window. She covered her head with her pillow and began shaking in her bed.

The other boys were upstairs so they couldn't really her scream, but she was still terrified that they could hear her. Thunder sounded again and pulled the blankets over her head.

"It's just like that night again." Thera thought to herself. "Whenever I hear thunder and lightning, I get scared and confused! Especially when the nightmares start."

Another crackle of lighting made Thera scream but she quickly covered her mouth and resumed shaking.

"I will not let them hear me. I will not let them hear me. I will not-"

"Thera~ You in there? I wanna ask you something~"

Thera froze and slowly turned around to see Noam, with his head down, standing in her doorway. She let out a shaky breath but stopped when she noticed something was off with him.

He looked up at her with a crooked smile and took out his bloody guitar. She gasped in horror and this caused his smile to become bigger. He stepped closer to her, guitar raised in the air and asked, "How do you sound when your voice hits a high note? Let's find out~"

Thera screamed for a very long until she realized she was in the arms of someone else, rocking her back and forth and whispered, "It's okay. I got you Thera."

"N-N-Noam?" Thera stuttered and looked up to see the real Noam, his hand caressing her cheek in the dark room. He stroked her hair, letting her know he was there. She buried her face into his chest with tears falling down her cheeks.

Noam stayed with her until she had calmed down and the lightning storm stopped. He looked down at her and saw that she was asleep. He smiled and laid her in her bed, brushing away a strand of hair and kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight Thera. Sweet dreams." He whispered into her ear. Then he quietly left the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

As for Thera, she giggled in her sleep and said sleepily, "Thank you Noam."

9) Thera breathed in the lavender scented air and sighed. The wind blew through the fields and through her hair, making it messy, but Thera didn't mind at all. She felt the warmth of the sun's rays touching her skin and let the cool breeze whisper through her ears.

As the wind ruffled her dark purple dress, somebody called her name. She turned around to see Noam smiling at her and held a picnic basket in one hand. Thera smiled back and ran over to him, skipping over the running stream and the stones in her path.

She stopped under the tall tree and was engulfed under the leaves' shadows. Rolling up his sleeves, Noam opened the basket and took out several items such as food and drinks and laying it in front of them. Thera took a sandwich, sat beside him and started to nibble on the bread. Noam did the same but let Thera lean against him for comfort.

The kids ate in silence and enjoyed their food, the wind flying by them and the melody the birds sang for them.

Once Thera was done eating, she felt something on her head and touched the crown of flowers that Noam made for her. She smiled up at him while blushing and Noam smiled back, wrapping his hand around her shoulders and she leaned in close to him.


"Should we wake them up?" Les asked Lilly watching his sister and friend sleeping against each other. He grimaced when Noam wrapped his hand around Thera's shoulder and she leaned in close to him.

Lilly looked at the sleeping kids, smiled a bit and shook her head.

"Let's leave them be for now. We'll come back in an hour or so." She said walking to the door. Les followed her, looked back and closed the door behind them.

In the trailer, Thera snuggled up next to Noam, giggling in her sleep.

10) "Noam, why don't you sit down? You're making yourself nervous." Les suggested to his pacing friend.

"I can't Les! We've been waiting for the baby to come, but I didn't think she would give birth this early!" Noam cried and bit his nails at the same time.

Thera stood from her seat and went over to him. She grabbed his hand and said soothingly, "Noam, she's going to be okay. The doctors and nurses are making sure she'll deliver the baby safely."

Noam looked at her uneasily before taking a seat beside Mrs. Awesome and replied, "Sure..."

It was a couple of more hours until they heard crying in the next room. Everyone looked up to see the nurse walk towards them and she smiled at Noam.

"You have a new baby sister. Come and see her." She said brightly and beckoned them into the room.

Noam went in first and the nurse barricaded the others from coming in. They went to the window beside the door and pressed their faces against it.

Inside, Noam's mother, Ainsley, was playing with her child. When Noam came into the room, she looked up and smiled happily at him. She beckoned him closer and held his new sister to him. Awkwardly taking the bundle in his hands, he looked at his sister's little face. The young girl gurgled and reached for his finger. He let her take it and smiled down at her as she giggled happily.

"This is so heartwarming." Mrs. Awesome said and wiped away her tears. Mr. Awesome smiled in reply and gave her some tissues to wipe with.

Thera was happy for Noam but she noticed that Les was not paying attention. She nudged his shoulder and whispered, "What's wrong with you? Aren't you happy for Noam?"

"I am Thera." He whispered back and looked back at the window with concentration. "Something's wrong though. It's like they're missing-"

"Right this way sir." A doctor said to another man and they walked past the children. They looked up just to see a man with long green hair tied in a ponytail enter the room and the door closed.

As soon as the door closed, they looked back to see the man step towards Noam. Noam looked surprised as the man took the bundle out of his hands. The man made cooing noises at the little child and Noam's mother laughed. The man looked back at Noam smiling, but Noam gave him a cold, hard stare and said something angrily to him. The man tried to tell him something but Noam was already heading for the door. He stopped when his mother said something and gestured to the child. He stared at her for a moment before nodding and opening the door.

Noam stepped out and looked at his friends. They were sitting on the chairs, acting as if they hadn't seen what happened. He eyed them before shrugging his shoulders and sitting beside Thera.

Everyone was silent before Thera spoke up and asked Noam, "What's your sister's name?"

"Amber Joan Flinksy." Noam replied back in a monotone voice. They stared at him with worried looks on their faces and he noticed before they looked away.

"What?" Noam asked but the noise if the door opening caught his attention and he turned to look at the man walking out.

"Hey kiddo." Jonathan Mark Flinksy said and ruffled Noam's hair. Noam swatted away his hand and looked away from him. Jonathan looked hurt but when he saw Les and Thera, he gave them a smile.

"Noam's been treating you all well?" He asked them casually. They looked up at him and nodded their heads. He smiled at them before saying to Noam, "I gotta go talk to the doctors about something. It'll just take a while then we can go home together. Your mom will stay here for the night."

"Then why don't we stay here and be with mom?" Noam shot back angrily and crossed his arms. The family looked at one another and they all shared the same thought.

"We'll leave now, if that's okay with you Noam." Thera said getting off her chair. Les and his parents did the same and looked at Noam for confirmation.

Noam looked at them with a sad frown but he smiled and said, "Go on ahead guys. I'll see you in a couple of days or so."

They nodded and walked out of the hall, waving at Jonathan and saying goodbye. Once they left the hospital, Les asked to no one, "Why do I get the feeling that Noam doesn't like his father?"
I...Well...It's no guess that I like Rated A For Awesome but I do love the hinted couple Thera X Noam in the show. They basically just hint here and there, it's hilarious :XD: Either way, I love these guys just enough to make 'em drabbles (and takes a lot) I kind of have to warn you they're a bit OOC, possibly. If any true RAFA fans are out there, tell me if they are a bit OOc and then I will try and change it to fit their personalities.

1) Your basic surprise kiss

2) Falling down from a high place and rescued

3) Skipping Stone :D Got this idea after skipping stones with my family at the beach one day

4) There's not much info about Noam's parents but I'm guessing his dad is the rockstar/scientist guy in the family and he got this cool guitar strap for Noam.

5) Noam has a singing voice? Oh we're doomed :XD: This may seem a bit OOC but Noam could have a fairly good singing voice that doesn't crack too much.

6) Wait, Noam, Chet and Burt asking Lilly for advice? Okay now that's not realistic, we're doomed. Oh and I ship Chet X Trisha and Burt X Trisha I just think that if the guys can't really decide or have no clue on what to get their crushes, they would go and ask somebody else. Of course Lilly wouldn't do that anymore, but she does have her ways :XD:


8) NIGHTMARES. OH MY GAWD THE NIGHTMARES (It may seem a bit TOO OOC in this D: )

9) DREAMS! (A somewhat sequel to #8)

10) Now this is where I get to talk about my headcanon for Noam's family! (A bit anyways ^^; ) Noam's Dad goes around the world, playing in lots of concerts as a rockstar, while Noam's mom is a work at home mother, going to the laboratory time to time (part time job) Noam's dad comes home whenever he can, but it's rare so Noam has had a grude against that since his dad was kind of never there for him.


PART TWO: [link]

Rated A For Awesome belongs to Nerd Corps Entertainment Inc©
"Last Night on Earth" song belongs to Green Day© (Lyrics are seen in Drabble #5)
Amber Joan Flinksy and Emily Smith Jones belongs to :iconthevampiregirl1:©
Ainsley Larks Flinksy, Jonathan Mark Flinksy, Lilly Victoria McArthur and all drabbles belongs to moi:iconpoplilly4009:©
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1.- ¿De qué género eres?

- Masculino

2.- ¿Cuál es tu edad?

- 12 (Seee Selen también pero no quería dejar crecer a mi Bebita ;~; )

3.- ¿Quieres un abrazo?

- Am…No gracias

4.- ¿Tienes malos hábitos?

- Pues soy algo serio y no sonrio mucho…¿eso es un mal habito?._.

5.- ¿Cuál es tu comida favorita?

- Pan con Nutella *¬*

6.- ¿Cuál es tu sabor de helado favorito?

- Chocolate!>w<

7.- ¿Eres virgen?

- Si!>O<U

8.- ¿Has matado a alguien?

- No, Pero para el cumpleaños 13 tendre que hacerlo, quiera o no

9.- ¿Odias a alguien?
- No…Bueno…Si

10.- ¿Tienes secretos?

- Sip

11.- ¿Cuál es tu estación favorita?

- Octubre

12.- ¿Quién es tu mejor amigo?

- Charlot, Pero...Danielle es la mejor amiga del mundo... Aunque ella no lo note…La quiero muchisimo
13.- ¿Cuáles son tus pasatiempos?

- Me gusta fastidiar a mi hermana, es divertido cuando hace sus berrinches

14.- ¿Cuál es tu bebida favorita?

- Malteada de Chocolate *¬*

15.- ¿Cuándo es tu cumpleaños?

- 8 de febrero

16.- ¿A qué edad morirás?

- En mi cumpleaños 13

17.- ¿Eres agradable o huraño?

- Agradable…
Selena: Si aja como no ¬_¬
- ¬_¬U…Bueno aveces huraño u_uU
18.- ¿Eres extrovertido o tímido?

- Extrovertido…O  eso creo yo ¬_¬
Selena: ¬n¬

19.- ¿Qué piensas de tus padres?

- Mis "Padres"…Los odio, como era el adoptado no me notaba, ni  me pelaban, ni mucho menos me hablaban, mi verdadera madre…La amo con todo mi corazón y hare lo que sea necesario para que mi hermana y yo estemos con ella

20.- ¿Cuál es tu debilidad?

- El agua, no se nadar

21.- ¿Cuánto tiempo puedes estar bajo el agua?

- No se ni nadar.__.U

22.- ¿Qué haces en un día rutinario?

- despertar, vestirme, desayunar, ir con Charlot y…el resto del día me la paso con ella o voy a fastidiar a mi hermana

23.- ¿Amas a alguien?
-Se pone todo rojo-…S-S-Si…Con todo mi corazón…
24.- ¿Cuándo fue la última vez que te mojaste a ti mismo?

- Me moje?._.

25.- ¿Cuál es tu grupo favorito?

- La banda de mi hermana .w. Rock Angels –w-

26.- ¿Alguna vez has usado vestido?

- Si._. Mi hermana ù_û Algun día mes las pagara!>O<

27.- ¿Y lo usaste de buen grado? O sea ¿por voluntad propia?

- Me obligaron¬____¬

28.- ¿Qué te puede parecer divertido en el curso del día?

- Soy algo serio, muy pocas cosas me dan risa, pero Danielle es la única que me a logrado sacar una sonrisa…

29.- ¿Y en la noche?

- Las tontas y cursis cosas que dice mi hermana cuando esta dormida :XD:
Selena: ¬////////////////////////////¬UUU
30.- ¿Has besado a alguien?

- No ;-;

31.- ¿Del mismo género?

- No .____________________________________________________________.

32.- Es obvio que eres gay.

- Tu eres el Gay._.

33.- ¿Cuál es tu cosa favorita para tocar?

-  Piano

34.- ¿Alguien te ama?
- No…

35.- ¿Cuál es tu color favorito?

- Negro y Azul fuerte

36.- ¿Cuándo fue la última vez que lloraste?

- Cuando me entere de lo que tendre que hacer…

37.- ¿Tienes alguna mascota?

- El gato que tiene mi hermana, quiera o no, también es mio uwu+
Selena: Coquito es mio!>O<+

38.- ¿Cuál es el nombre de tu mascota?

- Coco.w.

39.- ¿Estás loco?

- No tanto

40.- ¿Qué eres?

-  Un chico nada normal

41.- ¿Cuál es el final de tu propia historia?

- Morir en la colina mas alta justo a las 12 de la noche…

42.- ¿Cuál es tu nickname?

- Kevincito.____.

43.- ¿Te considera una persona feliz o desafortunada?

- Desafortunada
44.- ¿Si fueras un súperheroe, cuál serías?

- No se.___.

45.- ¿Cuál es tu película favorita?
No me gustan mucho

46.- ¿Se nota que se me han acabado las preguntas?

- No

47.- ¿Beso de despedida?

- Nop .B.U
Aca la entrevista de Kevin.w. Hay muchas cosas sobre Kevin...Que es lo que hara en el cumpleaños 13? A quien ama tanto? Porque su ropa es asi?...porque...Ñe .__. Ya no se -w-
Espero les guste, Lau fuera.Paz!~:heart:

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Summary: An Invader Zim one-shot. Fifty short prompts for the romance between a cunning female alien trying to conquer the Earth and the young boy-hero determined to save it.



At first Tak couldn't understand why Zim had chosen to actually give up Invading and settle for a quiet little exile on Earth. The more she was around Dib, though, the more she wondered if that little defective may have had the right idea for once.


He knew it wasn't healthy, he knew she must be working some kind of an angle, but her human disguise was so pretty, she actually listened when he talked…I mean, spending more time with Tak couldn't really hurt, could it?


"Hey! I have evil plans that need foiling, quit hogging him!" Zim screamed, dragging Dib away from yet another evening spent at Tak's palatial base.


Granted, Zim was trying to stop her, but with all his constant screaming about how pitiful she was and how victory would be his and blah blah blah blah blah, Tak was glad to know that she had at least one foe who actually seemed to believe she could take over the Earth.


Sometimes, when she walked around with her hologram up for hours on end, Dib had a really hard time remembering that she wasn't just a beautiful, amazing but totally human girl.


"I 'promised?'" Tak laughed, as Dib's face fell even more. "Oh, you poor little Earth-monkey, so touchingly naïve."


Do you even remember how many people have died because of her plans? Dib berated himself, his mind feeling ready to burst. How could you ever love somebody stained with so much blood?


I'll put the plan off for one more day, Tak decided. After all, she was actually looking forward to tomorrow's lunch with Dib.


"Tak is an alien?! So all those times I was thinking about kissing her, I was…ugh! I need to go take a bath now…"


She had seemed like the only friend he ever had. So of course, it had to have been a lie by the end.


He should have been madder, but really, he thought as he tightened a bolt on her fallen spaceship— a real, live, actual alien spaceship! in his garage!— he honestly didn't feel like making that big of a deal out of this one.


"Well, I don't care what some giant computerized brain said, I don't think you're a loser."


Dib growled and paid for another baseball, biting his tongue as he aimed. He didn't know why Tak wanted that stuffed animal, it was much pinker and fluffier than anything else she owned, but he was going to win it for her no matter how long it took to hit that stupid target.


"I'm really sorry that this happened, Tak," Dib said gently, as Tak, her face as expressionless as possible, lowered MiMi's broken pieces into the hole he had dug.


He wanted to ask her to the skool dance, but somehow once he opened his mouth all that came out was a kind of gasping, choking noise.


"Well, it's either you take the 'miserable human placebo' or let your burns hurt until you get back to your base," Dib said sarcastically, holding the ice-blue ointment bottle in one hand and rolling his eyes.


"Hey, did you change your hair? Er, your…holo-hair?"

"What? Uh…yes, actually, I liked it a bit longer."

"Oh." Pause. "It looks nice."


"You know, Dib, you really are the smartest little dirt-monkey on this planet…it almost makes me feel bad for tricking you the first time we met."


Dib's eyes widened as Tak twitched, covering her mouth. Oh dear Irk, please say the word "boyfriend" hadn't really just slipped out of her mouth.


Dib smirked as Tak's jaw dropped. Sure, he got brilliant one-liners in on Zim all the time, but out-bantering Tak was quite an accomplishment.


"Humans break too easily," Tak muttered, as Dib moaned deliriously from the medical bed beside her.


The Swollen Eyeballs would be furious if they knew about this. So would the Irken Armada, for that matter. Dib thought about all this as he stared into Tak's violet eyes, wondering what he should do.


"What's done is done," he muttered, waving his hand as if to dispel her memory from his mind. There was really nothing else he could do about it.


Dib's face burned as Tak burst out laughing, finally considering that maybe, just maybe, dressing up as the elf hero from his favorite fantasy novel wasn't such a brilliant Halloween costume after all.


It wasn't the perfect arrangement, Tak admitted. It certainly couldn't go on forever, and both of them knew that. But for now, it was good enough.


Both dreamed about serving their people and finally gaining the honor and glory they deserved. Now, if only that hadn't involved annihilating each other…


All that intelligence and dedication, somehow winding up in a single member of a species doomed to conquest or extinction from its own stupidity. I mean, really. What a waste.


"I, ugh…hope you like it," Tak said quickly, as the wrapping paper fell to the ground and Dib's face lit up with delight.


Are you really dating Zim? Dib scribbled, passing the note back to her when Ms. Bitters wasn't looking.

Technically, she wrote back. Trust me, he's hardly my first choice.

Dib wasn't quite sure what to make of that statement.


This feels much nicer than it should, Tak thought warily as Dib wrapped his arms around her.


Zim and Gaz's relationship was a series of threats, screams and attempts at bloody, terrifying violence. Dib and Tak, however, could get all the intensity they needed from a quiet conversation.


Somewhere in the back of his mind Dib knew that he shouldn't be holding her, he should just let her fall to her death for the good of the world, but he gritted his teeth and started pulling her up anyway.


"You Irkens don't even understand the concept of morality, do you?"


Dib had no answer for that, other than to shake his head sadly and walk away.


"Maybe I could help you study for the next test?" Dib suggested kindly, as Tak merely growled at the numerous X's on her Earth Literature exam.


It was odd; his mind was too strong for the most advanced Irken mind control technology to break through, but give him a little attention and he was like putty in your claws.


Dib stares mesmerized as the wind blows Tak's long blue hair away from her face. How could a hologram not only know to do that, but somehow make it look so beautiful at the same time?


"For the last time, Dib, I went over there to kill him and nothing else! I mean, really—me and Zim? Who else do you think I'm cheating with, the bloody Presidentman?!"


Sometimes, they could pretend everything made sense and that this relationship wasn't a problem. It never lasted, though.


"Okay—snrk—that's enough, that's enough, stop!" Dib said, trying to suppress his insane giggling as Tak hypnotized some of his more bullying classmates into singing an a cappella rendition of "Barbie Girl" for his enjoyment.


Tak was cruel, vindictive and evil, just like Irken Invaders were trained from smeethood to be. So no, no matter how nice Dib was to her, she refused to be "touched" by it.


Tak rolled her eyes. "My PAK provides me with an internal thermal regulatation, and you're shaking like a Krog-beast in a windstorm," she said, rolling her eyes. "Now just take my bleeding jacket before I staple it to your shoulders, alright?"


Gaz warned him that no girl would ever really like him.

Why did she have to be right all the time?


"Huh. Alright, you're not so crazy," Tak conceded calmly, as Dib held up his spell drive to try to repel the attacking demon.


To Tak, stars were stars, big balls of gas to avoid hitting with your spaceship. It was only after she started flying with Dib that she really realized how truly wondrous they could be.


"I mean, I know it's a lot to ask, but…one day, could You let me meet a real girl like her?"


Once, feeling nostalgic for his old conversations with Tak on the playground, Dib had climbed into her ship's cockpit and to try to engage the computer in small talk. Even when he got it to stop trying to kill him, though, it just wasn't the same.


What Tak really wanted was a slave to control. The fact that Dib wouldn't be that, however, somehow made this particular sometimes-ally even more intriguing.


"I really am sorry it had to end this way, Tak," he said emotionlessly, leveling the ray gun directly at her chest. She wouldn't have believed him from his tone, if not for the silent tears streaming down his otherwise blank face.


There were times where each of them felt like they were drowning, but the other was always there to keep them from ever completely going under.

050.Writers' Choice—Hope

The way Dib saw it, there was a ninety-nine percent chance that their relationship was doomed. But he never quite gave up on that last, measly chance.

Well, I've done one for ZADF, one for ZAGR, and now finally one for my favorite of the actually-popular pairings, DATR. =D

Dib/Tak never seems to get as much attention as the other "big" pairings; there wasn't even a club for it until I started one, and that was after ZADR had about five and even Tak/Lard Nar got its own. :O_o: But anyway, glad to contribute a bit more DATR to the world. I hope my own brand isn't too cynical or depressing for anybody's tastes.

I hope you enjoy! :wave:
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Johnny Zealous: "Well, we've counted the votes, reviewed the stats and our fighters are ready to get going. This may be, perhaps, our most anticipated Battle since the Decepticons vs. the Daleks, so anything could happen. Who will win this Death Battle?-"

Lucas Zaboot: "Aquaman. No ands, buts or ifs."

Johnny Zealous: "Are- are you dressed up in an Aquaman costume?"

Lucas Zaboot: "Aquaman for the win."

Johnny Zealous: "sigh* right, well, as they say, let's get it on!"

- -

Stadium of Posiedon, Atlantis

A muscular lobster was flung to the ground as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause for the man standing over this lobster.
"AQUAMAN! AQUAMAN! AQUAMAN! AQUAMAN!" The crowd cheered as the King of Atlantis waved to his subjects in the stands before offering his hand to the lobster and helping him back on his feet.
"You are a fine fighter, Larry. Consider this loss a victory for yourself." Aquaman said assuringly to the defeated lobster.
"You are most kind, your highness. It has been an honor to spar with you." Larry the Lobster said, shaking Aquaman's hand before he turned to his friends, patting him excitedly for taking on Aquaman in a friendly spar for the crowds. Aquaman had been incredibly busy the last few months forcing oil rig construction crew away from his territory and forcing cargo ships carrying weapons back to their shores. He hardly had any time for his subjects, but he hoped a no-killing sparring match with all the best fighters in the ocean would revitalize their respect for him. So far, it was working, his subjects loved the action, Aquaman's sense of fairness with the fights and his sportsmanship to help his opponents up and not seriously harm them, just tire them out until they called it quits.

But not everyone was enjoying themselves.
Way up in the stands sat a yellow sponge with square pants, a squirrel wearing an environmental suit, munching away on nuts inside her suit that gave her life-breathing air and a pink sea star friend with countless snacks in his lap. They were Spongebob Squarepants, Sandy Cheeks and Patrick Star. Although Spongebob and Sandy were enjoying the view, Patrick was not impressed.
"Whoo! All right Larry! Good try buddy!" Spongebob called out supportingly to the lobster.
"Pff, good try nothing. He's not even trying!" Patrick criticized, munching away on his popcorn.
"He wuz trying' Patrick. Aquaman gave 'im a chance and Larry gave it his all." Sandy said to Patrick, Patrick only scoffed.
"He was totally holding back! If I was down there, I'd totally show that guy in pajamas a thing or two." Patrick boasted. This boast, unknowingly, was picked up by the sensitive ears of Aquaman, despite all the cheers around him.
"Alas!" Aquaman called aloud, silencing his subjects. "Do mine ears hear a challenger in the seats who would like to challenge me?" Aquaman called aloud, trying to pinpoint who was talking among the thousands of fish in the seats.
"Yeah! I'd take you on Pajamaman!!" Patrick called out, not even thinking what he's saying.
"Patrick! What are you doing?! Aquaman will beat you to a pulp!" Spongebob said panicky, reaching over to keep his friend from getting up and risking his life.
"Let go of me Spongebob! I'm gonna take that pajamaman on!" Patrick called as Spongebob struggled to get his friend to stay seated. By that time, Aquaman focused on the sounds as his eyes caught the only thing that stood out among the crowd: a bright yellow sponge.
"Ah ha! There you are!" Aquaman called aloud as he summoned his trident to his hand and, with it's power, conjured a water current to push Spongebob out of his seat as he landed in the ring to the loud applause of the audience. "So, you wish to challenge me eh?"
"Uh- Uh, actually, uh your highness, lordship, sovereign…sir…my friend was being silly and I was just-" Spongebob nervously stammered as he seemed to shrink from Aquaman's might.
"Hah! Nonsense dear lad! There is no need to be nervous around me! Am I not a fair ruler to allow a common sea goer to face against me? You should be honored!" Aquaman said aloud in a calm demeanor as he planted his trident into the ground as he walked up to Spongebob.
"W-well I-I a honored, s-sir, it's just, ya know, I just don't, gulp* like to fight kings…" Spongebob tried to explain but Patrick only made matters worse.
"Get him buddy! Mop up the floor with him!" Patrick called aloud, clearly forgetting he had gotten Spongebob into this fight in the first place.
"…thanks Patrick…you're a real pal…" Spongebob said under his breath as he accepted his situation. Spongebob pulled out the karate gloves and pulled the helmet on his head, nervously holding up his hands against Aquaman. In the stands, Spongebob's boss, Mr. Krabs, began taking in bets to make some easy money.
"As I am a fair king, I shall let you throw the first blow, lad." Aquaman said calmly.
"Um…a-are you sure?" Spongebob said worryingly.
"Absolutely! It's only fair to let you feel the pride of a warrior to take the first blow!" Aquaman said, placing his hands on his waist dramatically, pretty much leaving himself open for Spongebob
"Gulp* um…okay…here I go…" SPongebob said nervously.


Spongebob called out a few Bruce Lee grunts before he leapt into the air and delivered a karate chop to Aquman's chest, which barely even made him flinch.
"Ha! You are amusing spongey lad. But you do not need to hold back, throw your best towards me!" Aquaman leaned over, his face closer to Spongebob's level. SPongebob charged up and delivered another karate chop to his face, once again, not even leaving a mark.
"You are very amusing sponge, but I barely felt a thing. Try harder." Aquman said, his grind fading to a smell as Spongebob only continued to deliver karate chop, kicks or headbutts to Aquaman's face, not even leaving a mark, only causing a strand of Aquaman's hair to fall from it's place as Aquaman's smile faded to a frown.
"The joke is old sponge. Actually try to hit me." Aquaman said as Spongebob, not wanting to disappoint, backed up a way, dramatically leapt into the water, speed lines formed around Spongebob as he landed a kick on Aquaman's nose before falling back on the ground. Not even that left a mark.
"Heh…um…that's all I got…sir…" Spongebob nervously chuckled as Aquaman stood up properly, his  confident smile now a disappointed frown.
"Was that it? I hardly felt anything! Even the lobster's claws had more punch than that!" Aquaman said disappointed as Spongebob stood up feeling dejected. "Well, I've been fair to let you have the first blow, but now, I must trade blows." before Spongebob could respond, a green-gloved fist flew through the water and punched into Spongebob's face, leaving a dent. Aquaman pulled back and looked over the fallen sponge before Spongebob's face popped back out cartoonishly as he looked back up at Aquaman.
"Um…I don't think it worked…sir…" Spongebob said softly, like a child feeling guilty for disappointing a parent. Aquaman landed another hard blow to Spongebob's face, leaving a dent, only for it to pop back out.
"Impossible…it is like you absorb my punches as if you were made out of some sort of…spongey material…" Aquaman said.
"Duh…" Sandy rolled her eyes and said under her breath.

This began to annoy Aquaman, forcing him to deliver a series of rapid-fire punches that would otherwise break a man's ribs and turn his face into chunky salsa. But the result was the same, with each blow, Spongebob's face would pop back out as though the punches weren't even hurting him. He could swear he even heard giggling from the Spongebob when he hit lower. Aquaman delivered a firm punch that sent Spongebob flying over a good yard in space, but the result was the same, his face would pop back out and he would get back up.

"Heh, I guess we can't hurt each other, mister Aquaman, sir…call it a draw?" Spongebob asked nervously. Aquman didn't smile, he reached out for his trident as it flew to his hand.
"Oh no, lad. You've insulted my honor. I must reclaim what honor you have taken from me!" Aquaman said darkly as he pointed his Trident at Spongebob.
"Yikes!" Spongebob ran away as the Trident fired an energy blast towards him. The crowd gasped from this, Mr. Krabs collected more money in support of Aquaman's victory. Spongebob began to run around the stadium with Aquaman firing blast after blast at the yellow sponge, his annoyance rising with this sponge humiliating his warrior status continuously. He eventually got a shot in at Spongebob, who was flung into the wall, causing the audience to gasp aloud. Aquaman felt a sense of pride as smoke rose from the yellow sponge. He turned and tried to leave, but the crowd began to applaud as Aquaman turned and let his eyes widen.
"Impossible…" Aquaman said as Spongebob got up, brushed the sand off his pants and shirt, the large hole where Aquaman blasted him, it began to shrink until it disappeared, a hole sinking into his body, resembling all the others on Spongebob's body. Aquaman grit his teeth as he ran up, his trident in his hands like a bat as he slammed Spongebob like a golf ball out of the stadium. Aquaman watched as the yellow sponge became a dot and his high-pitched scream became distant.
He was finally rid of that nuisance.
Soon, boos were heard from the audience as Aquaman looked around. They weren't applauding him…they were booing him! His subjects were booing him for removing this problem.
"Silence! He was becoming a nuisance to me! He fought bravely but he insulted my honor!" Aquaman called aloud to his subjects. Before he could call for another challenger, the wall smashed out, the debris flew past Aquaman as Aquaman looked back, his jaw dropping as he found himself slammed by a hard force as he was propelled into the wall of the stadium. Aquaman pulled himself out of the wall, the crowds cheering as he looked up and looked at what the crowds cheered for.

Spongebob was back, on a huge boulder, that he had driven all the way from the outside of the stadium. The pioneers use to drive these babies for miles on end and Spongebob was no stranger to how to drive rocks.
"Oh sure, he can drive rocks like a pro." Mrs Puff complained aloud to herself seeing Spongebob leap off the rock in the stadium, "but put him behind the wheel of a boat and he sends 12 people to the hospital!"
Aquaman's anger rose, he picked up his trident as he swam through the water and thrust the trident into Spongebob, the applause from the crowd silenced by this dirty attack. Eventually, Aquaman began to stab at Spongebob constantly until he left Spongebob in pieces. As Aquaman panted from this, the pieces began to move as they bounced around. Aquaman tried to stomp on these pieces as they jumped around, annoying him further.
He slammed his foot down on one piece, but it managed to force Aquaman's foot off it, causing Aquaman to fall back on the ground. As he sat up, the yellow pieces reformed into the yellow sponge with the buck tooth grin and the creepy smile and a high-pitched laugh from which Aquaman's sensitive ears were ringing from.
"Can I help you up your lordship?" Spongebob asked politely, Aquaman only pushed him back.
"No! I am ending this once and for all!" Aquaman placed a hand to his head as he telepathically sent out a signal to the vast reaches of the oceans. After a while, a large shadow formed over the stadium as a huge sea creature appeared over the stadium. The crowd cried out in fear as the monster reached down, by Aquaman's orders, grabbed Spongebob and swallowed him whole.
"There! I am free of this annoyance forever!" Aquaman called out, relieved to finally get rid of this annoyance.
"He's gone! Oh sweet freedom!" Squirdward Tentacles praised aloud despite the boos of the crowd.

But the sea creature began to groan as he twitched slightly. The creature eventually regurgitated Spongebob back out as Spongebob landed on the ground, a spatula in his hand and a Krusty Krab hat on his head, as he put the finishing touches on a Krabby Patty, holding it up to the sea monster.
"Oh well, it was good while it lasted…" Squidward said disappointed to see his yellow neighbor still alive.
"Here you go big fella! You sure were hungry!" Spongebob said gleefully as the monster happily ate the patty.
"You oversized Mollusca! You were supposed to digest this sponge for me!!" Aquaman yelled out, he was losing his cool from this battle with this cleaning tool.
"He made food for me while he was in my mouth and fed me." The giant sea creature spoke in it's mind to Aquaman, "I had not eaten in over a month, he was kind to me…you are not…" The creature bowed it's head before swimming back to it's home. Aquaman, gritting his teeth angrily as he looked down and saw Spongebob holding up a burger to Aquaman.
"Want one? They're de-lish-ouuuuuuus!" Spongebob sang out. Aquaman angrily slapped the burger away as he formed his hand into a hook and began to try to stab this annoyance. Spongebob dodged, stretched and avoided the hook. Aquaman finally got the hook into Spongebob as he grabbed him and tore him in half, letting the pieces fall to the side. Aquaman stared at the half next to him, seeing it's arm twitch. Aquaman reached town and tore out the arm. But he then felt something hit his head, not in a painful way, but in a soft way. He turned around and saw one half of Spongebob, standing on one leg and, using one arm, blew bubbles that flew at Aquaman's face, the soap got into his eyes, stinging them.
"My eyes! My vision has been impaired!" Aquaman called aloud as he rubbed his eyes. During this temporary distraction. Spongebob joined his two halves together as Spongebob finally got it in his head that Aquaman was trying to kill him.
"I was trying to be nice Mr. Aquaman. But it looks like you're making me have to play rough…" rolling up his sleeves, Spongebob dipped the bubble wand into the soap container as he began to move his body. "Spin around, stop. Double take three times. One, two, three! And pelvic thrust! Whoo! Whoo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it!"
Aquaman's vision finally returned as he turned back to see Spongebob's body taking on absurd shapes. Aquaman had no idea what Spongebob was doing, but he was getting sick of his antics. He went over to pick up his trident as he marched over to Spongebob, at that moment, Spongebob blew into his bubble wand as he formed a very large bubble, forcing Aquaman back as he looked at this bubble, it was as large as a suburban home with a fuse on the top.
"What manner of globule is this?!?" Aquaman yelled aloud as he reached over and popped the bubble.

- -

Up on the surface, a lone fisherman sat in his boat before he noticed some disturbance in the water. He was ready to lean over when, without warning, Aquaman was flung out of the ocean from the impact of the bubble as Aquaman landed on the fisherman's boat, dazed from the explosion.
"Woah…Aquaman? Dude, you okay buddy?" the Fisherman said, shaking Aquaman to stir.
"Nngh…I underestimated that foul yellow cretin…I'm going to destroy him once and for all!" Aquaman got up as he looked to the fisherman, broke his fishing pole, and then leapt into the water, Trident in hand, as he propelled himself downward like a speeding missile. The Fisherman peered over his boat and watched Aquaman disappear into the depths below.
"Far out…"

Back on the ocean floor, the crowds looked over from their seats to see Spongebob picking himself up and looking around.
"Huh, guess he had to use the bathroom." Spongebob thought aloud, unsure of what had happened to Aquaman.
"Spongebob! He's coming right for you!" Patrick yelled out as everyone looked up and saw the force coming right towards them. With an impact like that, all the citizens of Bikini Bottom were in trouble.
"Uh oh. Think Spongebob, think!" Spongebob thought aloud as he looked around for what he could use. His eyes stopped on a child in the audience with a Goofy Goober shirt on. A light bulb popped out of his head and turned on before popping like a bubble above him. Spongebob pulled out a Goofy Goober guitar out of thin water and, after some quick tuning, he began to play a guitar solo to generate energy for his Sonic Wave.
Aquaman swam faster and faster, his eyes focused only on the yellow sponge down in the stadium. He had something in his hand, but Aquaman couldn't quite make it out going at the speed he was going. Some jellyfish got in his way, but he swam right through the school, ignoring the stings as his speed left a huge barrier wave that forced all other sea life back from the speed. Spongebob sped up his solo, not even really trying to create a song or anything, he just needed to gather all the energy he could muster.
Eventually, Spongebob finally aimed his guitar and fired off his sonic wave, just as Aquaman was about 15 feet away from the stadium. The resulting collision of waves created a huge explosion, it shook the entire sea bed, bubbles flew out from the explosion, citizens sitting in their seats were blinded from the explosion as it felt like all the water was sucked out from the impact.

Eventually, the bubbles cleared as all the citizens of Bikini Bottom came out of hiding and looked all around. The stadium was almost ready to collapse, lying on the greatly damaged arena floor was the King of Atlantis, his trident far from his reach, he groaned for a moment before he turned his head and passed out.
"Where's Spongebob?" Someone asked as the crowds looked all around, there was no sign of the spongey manchild, all except for his signature squarepants, covered in sand and dirt. People began to assume the worst as hats were removed to give a moment of silence, when suddenly-
"Look! Up in the sky!" a child called out as everyone turned their gaze to the sky and saw Spongebob, in his underwear, holding onto a Jellyfish net, with several Jellyfish inside, slowing his decent until Spongebob touched down on the ground safely. Spongebob released the Jellyfish who flew away as he then turned and picked up his pants.
"There they are!" He slipped them back on as he turned and realized Aquaman was on the ground. "Mr Aquaman? Are you okay?" Aquaman did not answer him. "Huh, guess he needed to take a nap."
"So…I guess…Spongebob…won?" someone in the crowd said as the crowd was silent for a moment before they erupted in glorious applause. Mr Krabs wept as his money went out to all the people who betted for his star fry cook. Spongebob looked around and grinned at the applause.
"I...won? I won?! I won!! Yay! I did it! Whoo! Bwahahahahahahaha" Spongebob jumped in the water celebrating his victory, laughing his signature high pitched laugh as everyone chanted aloud for their new champion.
"SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!" The crowd chanted as Spongebobs' friends came down, lifted him on their shoulders and gave him a hero's greeting as they carried him out of the broke stadium.

Spongebob made a mental note; whatever day he claimed before, meant nothing.
This was his best day ever.


- -


Johnny Zealous: (just as flabbergasted as Lucas Zaboot is) "I…I don't believe it either…but…you saw it here folks…Spongebob Squarepants just beat Aquaman…"


Johnny Zealous: "I…I'm with you on this one, I have no idea how this could have happened…hold on, the computer is printing out the answers."

Lucas Zaboot: "GOOD! Hopefully it can clear up this mistake!!!"

Johnny Zealous: "Okay, here it is…" (pulls out a paper and reads it over) "The sheet says, 'Aquaman's power and strength truly outmatches any sea creature that came his way, he wasn't, however, prepared for Spongebob's absorbent body and fast regeneration ability?'"

Lucas Zaboot: "Are you serious?!?!"

Johnny Zealous: "Er- 'Spongebob could take all of Aquaman's heaviest blows and still keep on ticking until Aquaman would eventually tire out from exhaustion or Spongebob would get a lucky shot in?' Is this for real?"


Johnny Zealous: "Um…well, I guess if the computer calls it, then it much be true…the winner is Spongebob Squarepants…"

Lucas Zaboot: "NOOOOOOO!!!!! ALL THE MONEY I LOST!!!!"

Johnny Zealous: "It…it's just not possible…"

- -

Denia, Spain - 3 hours later

(A figure in a hood walks through the streets in the sun as he passes by a grand five star hotel that overlooks the coast and enters a three star hotel next to it. The stranger asks for a hotel number and is discreetly given a key. The figure pulls back on the hood to reveal the face of Aquaman, unharmed and uninjured. He goes up to the fourth floor as he finds the room. Going inside, he finds a small hotel room with only a few suitcases left out, but nobody inside. Aquaman walks over to a bookshelf, scanning his eyes until he finds a book titled "The Metamorphosis." He pulls on the book as this activates a switch, the bookcase pulls away to reveal behind it a luxurious hotel suite with butlers and maids. Aquaman walks through this suite as he walks up to the balcony where the Death Battle Mafioso known now as Lady-n-Gentleman lies on an balcony chair, comfortably soaking up rays in a two-piece swim suit, a good book in one hand, a glass of Tinto de Verano in the other)

Aquaman: (walking up to the balcony) "I like the view. You can see the water from here."

Felicia: "Quite so. But in your case, I imagine you'd feel more at home in the water than watching over it."

Aquaman: "…I did as you said. I threw the fight with the sponge, I just wish he would put up more of a fight than he did."

Felicia: "Spongebob is just a pawn, he did his part as you did yours perfectly."

Aquaman: "Where is my money? You promised me."

Felicia: (snaps her fingers, a maid walks up with a suitcase, opening it to reveal stacks of money wrapped in plastic to Aquaman who inspects it) "I know you live underwater, so I made sure to have them wrapped up so they wouldn't get soggy."

Aquaman: (he nods as he takes the suitcase and turns back to Felicia) "Thank you ma'am, I appreciate the thought."

Felicia: "You should really thank the Death Battle gamblers. They put so much on you to succeed that they didn't expect you to lose out. The money you helped me to make is enough to pay your fee and my vacation." (takes a drink)

Aquaman: "So then it was you who convinced Nickelodeon to send their poster boy to fight me…you tricked Namor into setting himself on fire…you planned all of this…I'd call you insane if your plan wasn't genius."

Felicia: (only grins) "Now you're being a flirt."

Aquaman: "Not entirely, just being polite. Enjoy your vacation, ma'am." (Aquaman turns and leaves with the suitcase)

Felicia: "Good doing business with you…" (she sits back, setting the book aside as she snaps for a butler to take her drink. She puts her hands behind her head and looks out over the coast) "Heh, I love Spain…"

-To be continued…-
With a special (albeit highly fictionalized) appearance by :iconlady-n-gentleman:

Felicia in a previous Death Battle praised the way his/her character was presented as a crime boss that I felt, it was too good to be left as a joke to be used once, so now, you can almost say, there's some dirty dealings behind the scenes of Death Battle stadiums.

Strange how so many people were voting for Spongebob to win even when I stated this battle was going to be a joke. But oh well, glad to see how many people cared to see the outcome of this fight.
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After they went through the dimensional portal, the resistance celebrated their victory of defeating the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz-2 and freeing their home, the alternate Tri-State Area. They had a party throughout the entire night with fireworks blazing in the sky, music playing, and citizens dancing happy and free from the dictator's tyranny. As everyone celebrated, Phineas-2 was sitting and watching the stars alone quietly but enjoying the celebration like everyone else while Ferb was playing the classic guitar he learned from Phineas and Ferb.

Just then, Isabella-2 came forward with a smile on her face as she sat right next to Phineas-2.

"Hey Phineas, what'cha doin'?" Isabella-2 asked.

"Just doing some thinking." Phineas-2 answered, "Now that Doofenshmirtz is arrested and we have Summer again, I've been thinking that Ferb and I could probably make big ideas for rest of the days until school starts again."

The two quietly watched the stars together. Neither of them spoken a single word until Isabella-2 took Phineas-2's hand and gazed into his eyes. "You know Phineas, your sister Candace used to tell me that you were a timid conformist." She said, "But after when you and Ferb risk yourselves to save her, I think now that you are really brave."

"Oh, gee…thanks, Isabella." Phineas-2 said embarrassingly as his cheeks became red, so did Isabella's.

Phineas-2 and Isabella-2 turned around and speak of the devil, Candace-2, along with Ferb-2, Jeremy-2, and the rest of the Resistance members looking at them with smiles. "Go ahead Phineas," Candace-2 said proudly, "That's an order."

"Yes sir!" Phineas-2 saluted cheerfully. He took Isabella-2 around his arms, lunge her down in a romantic French position, and started to kiss her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The resistance watched the couple kiss with touched hearts and going "Awwwww" at them.
After I watched Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension, I decided to make my own deleted scene of the resistance celebrating their victory against Dr. Doofenshmirtz-2.

It's really, REALLY short, but it has alternate Phinbella in it. If anyone can draw a pic out of this or make an extended version of this story, I'll be very appreciated.

Phineas and Ferb (c) Disney
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-Death Battle Lounge-

(A homey little set-up with decorations on the walls, pictures of past fighters posing with past and current hosts line the walls as green wreaths line around them. Sitting in two easy chairs next to a soothing and lively fire are hosts Johnny Zealous, wearing a red and green vest with a festive dark red casual jacket and a cup of hot chocolate with a Starbucks logo on the cup. In the other chair is Lucas Zaboot, who is wearing a gross Christmas sweater that says “Happy Go F*ck Yourself” stitched in, a Santa hat and an entire carton of eggnog in his hand)

Johnny Zealous: “Greetings and salutations readers and passerbys. I’m Johnny Zealous, the Internet’s greatest salesman.”

Lucas Zaboot: “An’ I’m Lucas Zaboot, New Jersey’s own Green-Eyed Jersey Devil.”

Johnny Zealous: “Are you trying to make that your catchphrase?”

Lucas Zaboot: “Why? You wanna find out why I got th' name?”

Johnny Zealous: “Not really. Anywhos, Merry Christmas to you all and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, then Happy holidays.

Lucas Zaboot: “And if you have a problem with that, then Happy Shut th' F*ck up.”

Johnny Zealous: “Now please forgive us for our absence, we have been plagued by technical difficulties that have caused serious problems with trying to present your usual violence here. No thanks to Lucas here.”

Lucas Zaboot: “Well pardon th' f*ck out of me for dropping a beeah on th' controls!”

Johnny Zealous: “And then throwing the bottle at Dr. Felicia Gershwin when she offered to fix it for us…”

Lucas Zaboot: “That quack was gonna overbill us!”

Johnny Zealous: “You say that about everyone Lucas.”

Lucas Zaboot: “That’s cause I’m usually right.”

Johnny Zealous: (rolls his eyes) “Regardless, we’re back on track and, to celebrate our return and the holiday season, we’ve created this little special Joke battle for you all using two of the most recognizable green figures in literature.”

Lucas Zaboot: “Doctah Seuss’ The Grinch and Mahvel’s The Incredible Hulk!”

Johnny Zealous: “But unlike our last surprise Joke Battle made around Halloween where me gave no prelude, this one is special compared to that piece of comic fourth-wall breaking, why?”

Lucas Zaboot: “Cause we wrote this battle entirely in rhyme motherf*ckahs. Heh heh heh.”

Johnny Zealous: “Precisely. So, sit back, drop all expectation and enjoy our Christmas Joke Battle we’ve labeled: “How The Hulk Saved Christmas.” (opens up a book with an engraved cover made for the occasion)

- -

'Twas the night before Christmas, peace throughout Stark Mansion
Security scanning the corners, ready if need be, to take action.
Large socks were hung near a chimney with cause
For hope of being filled by the man named Santa Claus.
But out of the chimney, did a green hand emerge
With a crude device, creating an electrical surge.
Shutting down cameras and the alarm's laser grid
Then out from the chimney, a red and green figure slid.

This was THE GRINCH, the old childhood fiend
Looking over the room, rubbing his hands as he beamed.
"Oh this is perfect." The Grinch said with a sneer
With a bag in his hand, he took all of the Avengers' gear.
From Iron Man's helmet, to Hawkeye's bow,
To Captain America's shield, a patriotic symbol you know.
From the decorations on the walls, oh it was quite a spree
The Grinch took it all, while expressing great glee.
He shoved them in bags, tied to a certain degree,
Threw the bags to the roof, bags one, two and three.
"And now," mused the Grinch, "I will make off this this tree."

As The Grinch took the tree and starting giving force,
He heard a firm "ahem*,” from an obscure source.
The Grinch turned around fast and in the midst of Stark Manor
Was a gamma radiation scientist by the name of Bruce Banner.

Bruce and the Grinch stared at one another
A green man in a Santa suit? One has to wonder.
Bruce had woken up from his bed to go take a leak
When he heard a noise and found this green freak.
"Who are you?" Bruce said "Why are you taking the Christmas tree? Why?"
Now the Grinch, as you know him, so clever and sly
Did the one thing anyone would do in this situation: Lie!
"Oh good sir!" The old Grinchy Claus lied.
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side!
So I'm going to fix it up in my workshop buddy
I'll fix at home and return it looking less cruddy."

Now if Bruce was 2, he would have easily been fooled
But not for this genius who had been properly schooled.
"You're a liar!" Bruce said taking hold of the stump.
"Let go of the tree, or I'll make you regret it chump."
The Grinch just laughed and kicked Bruce to the floor.
Bruce groaned and grit his teeth, clearly quite sore.
Banner looked at the Grinch, his eyes green like the tree.
"Big mistake," Bruce growled, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Well what happened then? Well that's easy to say
Bruce Banner's physique grew three sizes that day.
His clothes tore, color changed and his muscles did bulk.
With a growl and a roar, there stood THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

The Grinch's eyes widened in shock at this large green mass.
Making him think "I shouldn't have given him my sass."
Climbing back up the chimney, The Grinch made his flight.
All the while, an announcer's voice called out with the word:


As The Grinch climbed into his sleigh, trying to get it to start
The Hulk leap through the roof to tear the Grinch apart.
"GIVE HULK BACK PRESENTS!" Hulk said with a roar.
He reared up his fist, ready to give the Grinch what for.
But before The Hulk could crush The Grinch like a grape,
The sleigh's engines roared to life and he made his escape.
The Grinch gave a sigh as he flew through the night
Hopefully, if he could reach the border, he would be all right.

But several crashes he heard made him look over his shoulder,
The Hulk was leaping rooftop to rooftop, like some green roller coaster.
The Hulk refused to let this green menace go free
He was going to crush him, no matter how much he would plea.
The Grinch and the Hulk's chase soon left the city
From Stark mansion's roof, the two looked real itty-bitty.

From his sleigh, The Grinch hoped he would tire after a while.
But would that stop The Hulk? Ha, he kept pursuing mile for mile.
Through grass fields and fog banks. Suburbs, power plants.
Factories, construction projects, and homes like your aunt's!
Whatever was in his way, The Hulk leapt right through it.
He would land almost on people, but they mostly ran for it.
The Hulk even leapt on a truck driven by irate truckers.
"You jerk!" Yelled the driver, "you crushed all the Smuckers!"

The Grinch began to worry, The Hulk refused to let up
At this rate, he'd be lucky if he could flee with a holiday cup.
Then, to his left, The Grinch saw a snowy mountain range
The Grinch's brain formed an idea that he could arrange.
If he flew high enough, he could lose the Hulk on the top
Then escape north to Canada, where he could make his drop.

The Grinch grinned at this, as he made a sharp turn,
The Hulk was caught off guard, making his anger burn.
"GREEN MAN WON'T LOSE HULK!" Hulk said as he fell.
But he rebounded from the fall and continued to yell.
The Grinch ignored him as he flew to the mountain,
Then started flying up, his engines really echoin'
The Hulk had some difficulty, trying to leap in soft snow
The sight of this caused the Grinch to laugh on the go.
"Pooh pooh!" Said the Grinch, looking back mocking.
"What happens tomorrow when your friends look in their stocking?
Their mouths will all hang open in total surprise
While I fly to Canada with my bountiful prize!"

But The Hulk, who heard this, refused to go with this scam.
With the roar "HULK SMASH!" The Hulk delivered a mighty slam.
The mountain then shook, an avalanche started to fall
But with a quick swerve, The Grinch survived a close call.
But as The Grinch looked forward, his eyes widened in fear.
The Hulk was coming right at him, there was no time to steer
The Grinch tried to fly up, but he was far too late.
With a punch to the engines, down he went straight.
His sleigh hit the snow, and so did the green beast
The sleigh began sliding down, to escape at the least.
But then came a loud rumbling sound, could it be?
"Oh no!" Said the Grinch, "an avalanche! Coming for me!"
Down, down, down, the old Grinchy Claus rode
To avoid a terrible that Avalanche behind bode.
Looking to the left, he saw his last hope,
An abandoned, yet stable, holiday ski slope.

With the last blast of his fuel, the Grinch's sleigh soared.
As the snow bank rolled, to the woods the Grinch went toward.
As the sleigh started going down, rearing to hit the dirt.
The Grinch thought aloud "oh this is really gonna hurt..."
With a bang and a boom and one very loud crash.
The sleigh hit the ground, but safe were The Grinch and his stash.
The Grinch sat up and looked over the damage
Too broken to fly, but much here he could salvage.

As The Grinch climbed out to give the sleigh a shove
He saw what looked like a dark shadow cast from above.
Looking up to the sky, he became quite alarmed.
The Hulk was falling toward him, clearly unharmed.
The Grinch pushed the sleigh just as the Hulk landed
With the Hulk standing here, all hope was abandoned
“GIVE BACK PRESENTS!” The Hulk said with a growl
The Grinch thought, “might as well throw in the towel.”
He grabbed a gift from the sleigh and he held it out.
But as the Hulk tried to grab it, but held some doubt.
The Grinch threw the present at the Hulk’s face
and sliding under his legs, off the Grinch did race.

But the Hulk was tired of all this running around
with a leap and his fist, the Grinch’s back it did found.
The Grinch fell over, writhing in intense pain.
Grabbing the Grinch by his legs and pulling on his hand
He pulled his back and shot him off like a rubber band.
Flying high through the night sky, pain he was feeling
If he was lucky to survive, he’d spend Christmas healing.

The Hulk succeeded in ridding this holiday foe
He would celebrate, but dawn started to glow.
“PRESENTS!” Hulk said without any dictation,
he looked to the sleigh, he was struck with sensation.
With determination in his heart, he picked up the sleigh
carrying it over his shoulders, the Hulk leapt away.
At a quarter of dawn, a Christmas miracle occurred!
Though the early birds saw it, no one believed a word!
The Hulk returned all the presents, to boys and girls all
Delivered them right to their houses, with major collateral.

That morning, when Tony and the others came downstairs
he saw all the presents and decorations and broken wares.
Regardless, they all gathered together for gift receiving
never paying any attention to the busted-up ceiling.
Though as they opened their presents and drank eggnog cup
It became quite clear there had been some presents mixed-up.

Tony got a tricycle, Thor, an Xbox.
Steve got tickets to go see the Seahawks.
Hawkeye got lingerie, Black Widow, bunny slippers,
The Vision even received a pair of toe clippers.
And as for the Hulk, what did he get?
The worst one of all; a Jr. Chemistry set.

Despite this mix-up, the gang didn’t mind,
they were glad they finally got a day to unwind.
As for what happened next? Well I surely don’t know.
So I’ll end the story here, with the letters:


- -

Lucas Zaboot: “Heh, that was awesome, if a little lame neah the end…”

Johnny Zealous: (closes book) “Well, it’s a joke battle, I mean, get real, who would be deluded enough to think The Grinch stands a chance against The Hulk?”

Lucas Zaboot: “Ron Howard? Hey-oh!”

Johnny Zealous: “Well, even for a joke fight, at least people were entertained. Thank you all again for reading our Christmas-themed battle made to get you all to laugh and NOT MEANT to be taken seriously either.”

Lucas Zaboot: “Just like this piece of sh*t shirt I’m weahin'.”

Johnny Zealous: “Needless to say, leave a comment below detailing your thoughts on the work we put into this Seasonal Joke Battle so we all can feel all our work was justified and not a waste of time.”

Lucas Zaboot: “Also, go thank whatsehname for indirectly inspirin' this joke battle in the first place.”

Johnny Zealous: “Felicia.”

Lucas Zaboot: “The f*ck? That quack with the goggles?!”

Johnny Zealous: “No, no, the writer, Lady-n-Gentleman.”

Lucas Zaboot: “Don’t that get confusin'?”

Johnny Zealous: (ignores him) “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!” (waves to the readers)

Lucas Zaboot: (also waves to the readers) “And Happy Go F*ck Youhselves!”

Johnny Zealous: “Can we cut that last part out?-“
Or, "How The Hulk Saved Christmas"

Yep, this was what all that hype was about.

And now I expect all of you to type in angry messages for leading you to this false expectation of something good.

But regardless, thanks for reading and I hope you have a great Holiday season.

And yes, I really do give special thanks to :iconlady-n-gentleman: for inspiring this with some fake fight she used as a joke that I ahve taken literally and made it into a new Christmas story. So, uh, blame her! XP

Though truth be told, the only thing that could have made this lamer was if this was a fight between the Snow Miser and Mr. Freeze and Elsa all singing "He's Mr. White Christmas, he's Mr. Snow."
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Released in 2013 under the direction of Zach Snyder ("300," "Watchmen," "Sucker Punch") on a budget of $225 million with distribution through Warner Bros.; "Man of Steel" is the 6th theatrical film adaptation (I'm not counting "Supergirl") based off of the 1938 release of Action Comics #1, Superman has since his first publication become a cultural American icon for his tagline of "fighting for truth, justice and the American Way." The first feature film to star this comic book hero was the 1978 Richard Donner film, "Superman: The Movie." By today, it's considerably dated, but it still remains a ground-breaking spark in cinema for these of special effects to create the illusion of Superman flying and grabbing things with his strength as well as kick-starting interest of the Superhero film genre. But the 80's wasn't very kind to Superman, giving forth to some rather lousy movies and only continuing on from then, giving some embarrassingly bad Superman video games. Eventually, Zach Snyder announced he was going to reboot Superman along with "Dark Knight" trilogy director Christopher Nolan. I…did not see it when it came out, but perhaps that was the best thing to have done as there was no safe place from this movie as a war seemed to break out from people who either loved the movie and called it a masterpiece or from people who hated the movie and called it "a betrayal of the Superman name." So I waited until it was available for OnDemand, so what did I think then?
Um….I've used 'disappointed' too much in the past, so the only other term that comes to mind is "underwhelmed."

Plot: In a far off galaxy, the planet Krypton, which looks more like a dustier version of Vulcan from J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek," Scientist Jor-El (Russell Crowe) tries to warn the council that the planet is doomed to explode due to the depletion of their natural resources. Yet this doesn't seem to stop General Zod (Michael Shannon) from staging a coup d'état against the council. Despite this, Jor-El manages to steal a Kryptonian Codex that contains the genetic code of artificial children, graft the code to the cells of his newborn son, Kal-El, and send him off before the planet explodes, though not before Zod and his flunkies are banished to the Phantom Zone.
Then, in a series of flashbacks interwoven throughout the movie, we see Kal-El try to control his powers as he attempts to find his place in the world while keeping his powers a secret as Clark Kent (Henry Cavill), only to occasionally reveal them to people when he comes to save them. Eventually he finds his way to the Arctic where he locates a spaceship that contains a hologram consciousness of his father explain his origins. Now wearing a blue costume with a red cape, Clark runs into Daily Planet Journalist Lois Lane (Amy Adams) who figures out he has superpowers cause, well, he's really lousy at covering his tracks apparently. But things take turn for the worse when General Zod finds his way to Earth and wants to terraform the planet so they can have a new Krypton. Deciding he's the only one who can save the planet, he suits up and goes on a colossal fight that causes immense collateral damage.
Storywise, the movie has no surprises. It's the traditional Superman origin lifted straight from the Richard Donner movies; but the major problem with the movie is that is doesn't really say anything new about Superman himself. It just plays up the paranoia of people not trusting him because, ooh, he has super powers! Really, it's nothing new that we haven't seen in that other movie Christopher Nolan did, I forget the name, but it had a guy in a suit in it and nobody fully trusted him then. Honestly, the movie just feels like another summer blockbuster and all the visuals are the only thing that keeps it from falling into the same issues I had with "Elyisum" and "Pacific Rim."

But I know what you're all thinking, what do I think about the whole Superman killing Zod thing? Yeah, sorry for the spoiler alert, but I had to tolerate this annoying internet war that started because of this one moment where Superman is forced to kill General Zod while he fires lasers at innocent people. While I could be that "one guy" and say this contradicts Superman's ideology of not killing this foes, honestly, there are many other things Superman could have done to avoid that and make him, you know, not look stupid:
-Superman could have poked Zod's eyes out while holding him in a headlock
-Subsequently, Superman could have tilted Zod's eyes upward to keep them from moving to the side.
-Superman could have just just flown Zod away from the city and from civilians.
-Subsequently, Superman could have punched Zod's head in the ground, zoomed in and got all the innocents away and then come back to Zod who is still pulling his head out of the ground.
-Superman could have kept fighting Zod in outer space.
-Superman could have just lobotomized Zod, sure he'd be a vegetable, but he'd still be alive.
-Superman could have used a Kryptonite bullet (oh, I'm sorry, Kryptonite was lame? Well I'm sorry you fail to comprehend the concept of weakness for this god-like being that could stop a supervillain)
-Superman could have flung Zod onto the other side of the planet, where there is no sunlight, and keeping fighting Zod until he runs out of juice from the sun's yellow rays and Superman could beat him into submission.
-Subsequently, Superman could have tunneled Zod to the center of the Earth, away from the Sun's yellow rays and let him burn up.
-Superman could have used his freeze breath to freeze Zod in place and then fly him to the Arctic and leave him to be frozen until Global Warming frees him.
-Or, instead of fighting General Zod, do what suggested: Instead of talking to a priest for advice, talk to the hologram consciousness of your father for advice then take the ship you came to earth on, set it do that dimensional thingy and throw it at Zod's space ship and force him and his cronies to avoid this huge battle that cost billions of dollars in collateral and untold lives to be lost in the fighting.
All these options and more, Superman could have done to have prevented killing him, but do I call this moment offensive? Oh no, that's not the most offensive moment.

It's the moment where Superman let's his adoptive father, Jonathan Kent, die.
In one of Superman's flashbacks, Clark is having an argument with his adoptive father, Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) when they suddenly get out of the car and witness a tornado approaching all these other cars. Clark and his adoptive mother run away to shelter when Jonathan runs back to save a dog, yes a dog, left int he car, at the cost of spraining his ankle, Clark wants to run out and go save him, but Mr. Kent just holds up his hand and Superman lets his father get sucked up into a tornado.
Now you might say that he didn't save him was because his dad didn't want him to reveal himself in front of all these people, but this is offensive to Superman. How is it he decides not to save his adoptive father JUST BECAUSE his dad didn't want him to do so? How many times has Superman flown up to people attempting to jump off of rooftops and talked them down from killing themselves? How many times has Superman ever let anyone kill themselves just because they told him not to save them? When has Superman ever stood around and let someone die when he had it in his power to stop them?
This is why I love Glenn Ford's Pa Kent in the original Superman movie, right after Clark has shown off to his jerk classmates, he has a very touching conversation with Clark about being on this planet. Clark playfully races with Pa Kent to the barn as Pa slows down, breathing heavily. He checks his pulse and then collapses on the ground, Clark runs up to check on Pa, but the next scene shows that Pa has died. This is brilliant because it shows that even with all the powers Superman has, he is powerless to stop his adoptive father from dying from a heart attack.
But here? Clark had the power to save him father. He could have used his super breath to blow the tornado away. He could have used his super speed to zoom in and save his father while the tornado sucked him in and fly away while everyone didn't notice. He could have just taken his father's place to save the dog, since he is younger and he could have been smarter to get the lousy dog out.

What is frustrating is how this movie seems to take from other movies:
-The Matrix: Artificial babies in orbs that are collected? Can they be used to power the machines of Krypton as well?
-The Matrix Revolutions: A huge fight of two super powered being flying around causing destruction to a city while being knocked back and forth? I'm convinced the reason Zach Snyder didn't use his slow-motion technique he's known for this movie was because people would then figure out he was stealing from the Wachowski Siblings.
-Avatar: Jor-El flies around on a winged creature, how could Avatar not come to mind?
-The Tree of Life: the editing focuses on an wheelbarrow turned on it's side and a bucket filled with water with clothespins left inside. You're not Terrance Malick, Snyder, stop pretending you're deep by using these images when they have no poetry to them.
-J.J. Abrams Star Trek: this, more than any of my previous comparisons, it seems that Zach Snyder not only rips off this movie's visual look, but also the lens flare and the computer technique Abrams does where the camera zooms in on a particular action during a fight.
But thinking back to all of Zach Snyder's other movies and how many of them have scenes that directly rip off other movies (ex. "Apocalypse Now," "Spartacus," "Enter the Dragon") it really should come as no surprise to me the lack of originality Snyder has that he is willing to rip off of better movies to make his movies. Now you might call me out on this and say Nolan did the same thing with "Inception," but there's a major difference between directly stealing scenes and ideas from better movies and paying homage to these movies and using them for inspiration to create a movie that feels fresh.

Henry Cavill: Well, I'll give him this, he really looks like Superman, look at that jaw of his! It looks like he personally chiseled his jaw but as Clark Kent, I'm sorry, but he looks like the cover of a GQ magazine model. Take anther look at Christopher Reeve, the guy did a great job balancing both the stoic and humble Superman with the nervous and stuttering honesty of Clark Kent, if you looked at Reeve's Clark Kent, you'd never even make the connection that he'd be Superman. But just like Christian Bale, you can't really buy that this guy can have an alter ego, he just looks like he's hiding something. But I admit, the parts of the movie that show a young Clark Kent trying to control his powers, are really the more fascinating elements that the movie covers to show how scary it is for the young Clark Kent to discover all these powers and not understand what is going on.
Amy Adams: She's…just there. I'm sorry, but she ultimately leave no impact to me as Lois Lane. Amy Adams just feels like she's playing the same kind of character Maggie Gyllenhaal and Gwyneth Paltrow have played in superhero movies. Amy Adams is a fine actress, don't get me wrong, but she lacks character development as a romantic interest, hell, when she and Superman kiss, it's one of the most out of place moments I've ever seen a kiss to happen since they never even spent pivotal time to develop the tools necessary to develop characters, especially romantic interests.
Michael Shannon: Hey, surprise, surprise, I prefer Terrence Stamp's General Zod than Michael Shannon's General Zod. Terrence Stamp was a guy who had regality to him, he was boisterous and full of pride, he had a charm to him that couldn't be matched. Michael Shannon was just a guy who shouted a lot and a beard. The movie tries to make him looks sympathetic with trying to bring back the Kryptonian race, but he never seems to explain this plan and just seems to yell a lot.
Laurence Fishburne: He's………..there………..he doesn't make his infamous "Great Caesar's Ghost" but he does threaten to fire Lois Lane…honestly, this role could have been played by anyone, he was picked so his name could put more butts in the seat.
Kevin Costner: I already went on a tangent about how offensive it was that Superman doesn't save him, Costner is just doing his same shtick he's done for years. Monotone and uninterested. Now that I think about it, maybe Superman did us a favor in letting the tornado suck him up, no more box office bombs from you.
Diane Lane: The only memorable moment she has is a moment where she an intimate moment with Clark about holding him close to her when he was but a baby years ago, she would listen to him breathe. It shows the intimacy of Clark and his adoptive mother.
Russell Crowe: Word of the wise General Zod, don't pick a fight with the Gladiator himself. He's okay, he's no Marlon Brando, but then again, who is? Brando was an actor nobody will ever match and I highly doubt anyone of Brando's caliber will ever come again in this lifetime. Russell's main job is to dump exposition about Krypton.
Christopher Meloni: Word of the wise to future screenwriters, if you make a character who is so forgettable and is only memorable because of the actor who plays them, you know you could do better. All through this movie, I kept calling this character Elliot Stabler cause I recognize him the best from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. He has no actual character though and he could have been played by anyone and it wouldn't have made a difference.
This entire movie does have a long line of all-star actors, but barely any of them get any proper character development to make these characters that interesting.

Maybe this is coming from a sense of burnout from seeing all these summer blockbusters, but I am starting to get a little tired of Green screen. Even though green screen really opens up the possibilities or visual effects, they just don't impress me all that much. The visual landscapes on Krypton look unimpressive, in fact, it just makes it look like the Kryptonians just landed there in these ships and they haven't colonized the planet yet. While I admit, the visuals work in effect to show the destruction of Superman fighting with other Kryptonians, the fights go on for far too long and eventually, wear thin on my patience. Even the final fight with Superman and Zod, while, I admit, visually impressive, just left me cold and tired. In fact, I'm getting tired of seeing big budget mano-a-mano fight scenes in movies nowadays. "Pacific Rim," "Elysium," "Transformers," it's like the entire movie builds up to the protagonist and the antagonist engaging in a fist fight that runs on for 10 minutes. While I may not agree with RedLetterMedia about everything they say, I will agree with their statement that "stretching a fight scene out for so long in an over-the-top and show-off way is the equivalent of a middle-aged business man whose short, balding and has a tiny penis so he buys a red Lamborgini to compensate."
This ending fight with Superman and Zod is the film's version of compensating for the lack of character development and ability to connect to the audience on an emotional level by using overblown visual effects.
Costuming is…not as bad as I thought of it before. The spandex looks a little silly on Russell Crowe and General Zod, but I admit, I'm not so much bothered by the Superman costume anymore. It is a little jarring to see Superman without his iconic red tidy-whities, to have that weird padding thing on this sides, it made it less awkward to me.
Music is…really forgettable, which is a shame cause Hans Zimmer can make memorable music when he's allowed to experiment: "The Lion King," "The Thin Red Line," "The Pirates of the Caribbean" and "The Dark Knight" if you need examples. Frankly, I didn't find anything that memorable. The official theme does have a dramatic sense of building bravados, but it doesn't lift a torch to John Williams' 1978 theme. Yeah, it seems unfair to compare, but if I ask you to look at the Superman logo, are you going to think of Hans Zimmer's theme from 2013 or John Williams' theme from 1978 that has become the staplemark of a Superman theme (kinda like how the 1960's Batman theme is iconic and remembered even after all these years).

Bottom Line:
There are a lot of people who are calling this movie a masterpiece and a brilliant reboot.
I say, it's a bloated run-by-the-numbers summer movie that has to take ideas from the original Superman movies and insert over-the-top anime style fighting because it cannot come up with anything new. While the visual effects of all the destruction looks nifty, the lack of character development makes the movie seem pretentious in the parts with Clark Kent trying to adapt the the real world while the parts with Superman lack the suspension of disbelief or majesty. This movie constantly hammers in the issue that if people saw Clark Kent with superpowers, what the consequences would be, but we never see those consequences outside of fear from a Kansas mother and some concerned soldiers. If they really wanted to show consequences of Clark's actions, they could have shown on the news cults be formed proclaiming Superman as "the Messiah's return" and the arrival of Zod as "Judgement day." Missed opportunities to explore these themes are lost to showing off special effects. The parts with Clark as a kid honing his powers are neat, but we don't get a genuine sense of his abilities outside of just a vague idea of it that you have to be a Superman fan to already understand or know. The movie looks impressive visually, but, just like the Star Wars prequels and "Transformers" it favors special effects over story and character development.
Say what you will about the costumes or special effects for the 1978 Superman movie, the original had one thing this movie lacks: interesting people and the human factor. We see Clark land on Earth and we see him arrive in metropolis under his mild-mannered identity. "Man of Steel" focuses on Superman, the Kryptonian instead of Superman, the Hero of Earth.

A lot of people love this movie, I won't be one of them. I'll stick to that "old and lame" Superman movie that had interesting characters and a likable Superman that I would feel comfortable to save me from a falling helicopter, I'd probably suffer whiplash from this Man of Steel if he grabbed me from mid-air.

Final Rating: 2/5

As for the upcoming "Superman Vs. Batman" movie, how will that pan out? Well, Ben Affleck is playing Batman, a nice choice actually, considering the last three movies Affleck has directed and the fact he played Daredevil once, I think he could pull it off. But frankly, leave David S. Goyer out of the screenwriting process and get a more mature screenwriter, or in the case of the original, four seasoned screenwriters (said four are Mario Puzo of "The Godfather," David Newman and wife Leslie Newman of "Bonnie and Clyde," and Robert Benton of "Kramer Vs. Kramer.") I'll see it, sure, but after seeing this movie, my expectations are pretty low.
Yep, finally got to see this movie and I had to write a review to explain my thoughts.

I did want to like this movie, but seeing it twice, it didn't really improve anything, but it made me find more issues or problems. I blame Zach Snyder for his lack of original vision.

no doubt a lot of you will get up on me about the whole "Superman shouldn't kill" thing, but I'm more pissed off about Superman letting Jonathan Kent die than Zod getting his neck snapped when Superman could have just used his heat vision to fry Zod's eyes out.

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