A Silent SonnetHearts fill with longing for what is not theirs-
tempting, enticing like only addicts know.
Desperately pushed to the point of despair,
this fluttery stomach is now their worst foe!
Secrets left screaming upon airtight lips,
they refuse to slip, mustn't endanger
true meaning in those very "subtle" quips
which, try as they might- refuse to waver.
So giving up may seem the only choice
in this defeat. But that would mean to lose
the most precious treasure. They hold their voice
and silence their souls, becoming subdued.
There's pain in each agonizing moment,
but worth it for every shared instant spent.
The Same Storywe rewrite our lost historyThe Same Story3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
on the same paper,
expecting new endings.
we truly are insane.
these lessons mean nothing
if not fully dead
the mistakes were worth nothing
if not burned in my head
you can't change the veins
stitched into your skin, you can't change
you- with a day, a word,
a breath of used air.
you want to dive back into that place
between my folds of sanity
where you can unravel the strands
and manipulate them in your hands
so I can't stop to think about
you can't change the blood
which surges through the cold,
forgotten parts of your body.
but you can tell yourself
if you shut your eyes,
you can pretend the scenes played in those weary lids
are the life you finally received.
because darkness hides the truth
but you can't rewrite your story
because you think you're different, now
(and different people don't make the same
you're falling down the same hole
with honey trap words
we can't rewrite history
or deny the similarities.
Leaveme.Leave3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I no longer house sanity
only ghosts that were never
told how to move on.
maybe we used to be the same,
but now your cracked reflection
only adds to my years of bad luck
you never counted the lines in my smile,
or the notes between my freckles,
you only measured me.
I'm something to get by on,
but I'm simply not enough.
my watered-down voice
is growing weaker.
and you feed me sugar pills
to diminish the pain
(these bones still bleed)
there are vultures in your eyes,
they know what's coming next
children call on saviors to vanquish demons
from their closets and I'm begging
the silent priests to
they didn't understand what I meant
when I said you stole my breath away
if I turn on the lights,
would you disappear like the times
when I needed help?
I live in waking fear of silence
(I know it's where you wait)
Your Name's My Best ObscenityThe sweetest curses are sugar on lipsYour Name's My Best Obscenity3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
If I died this evening, you'd find your name
aflame- the words I last shouted in vain
lingering on my tongue like a toxic kiss-
revenge is addicting, venomous pain,
even spent on cries I know are mundane
No fixing up this unholiest tryst,
forged by two fools who believed in their lies;
or maybe it was I, eager for light
even in spite of the flaws I had seen
Can light be fake? Were your twinkling eyes
a mere disguise to make me ignite?
Aflame, in vain, impure light fuels my screams
Innocent Purgefingers not full grownInnocent Purge3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
still manage to pull free
and a mother's fear
says the mom who has too many
worries and wrinkles for
her daughter of nine
tears spring forth
from wells not seen
since her own pitiful choices
"you're already beautiful,
and there are so many better ways
please, please, please
don't make my same mistakes"
tiny fingers just long enough
to grasp at insecurities
and struggle with feelings
I want to be pretty
drain her empty
in the filthiest of cleansings
the mind of a child can't comprehend irony,
and that is her only solution
"but mommy" she chirps
stained with promises of perfection
from a girl too young
to know the consequences
(or the reasons)
she smiles a broken smile
because she's almost there
and she's unaware
she lost part of herself she'll never get back
"please, don't do what I did.
please, don't be like me."
"but mommy," she says
"I already am"
and the cycle repeat
Without Wingsshe spoke in lullabiesWithout Wings3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and breathed out wishes-
she hoped and prayed for fairytales so often
you could trace the dreams in her veins
she strived for worlds that didn't exist
and she lost her heart without being aware
she ever gave it
she needed to run away-
because she lived in a house of mirrors
and she was scared of the sight
of her own face
she had to teach herself to walk
but she couldn't run
and she was stuck, grounded
watching time pass her by
sometimes you forget how to count
she withered away
her veins, barren of dreams
her eyes glossed over till she was nearly blind
to be afraid
because monsters weren't to be feared
and happily ever after
wasn't to be expected
when he found her, she was fallen
"I was built with hollow bones
but I'm still not strong enough to pick myself
her ribcage had caved in to that
empty hole that used to hold her heart
he lifted her up
with silky eyes and
starry whispers and said
Serenade of Sighsyou speak in sighs, because life is so strenuousSerenade of Sighs3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
for the rapture to come
you've spent your life preparing
for events you pray (need) to exist
don't hang your head
or you'll never see tomorrow
all evidence of failure
because.... that's how you move on?
But who could delete scars.
life is an adventure, but you're too busy
waiting for a rapture
(that won't come)
Sweetie, go hide in your words
they will coddle you and disguise your fears
like you've prayed (needed) for so long
lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
until you've gone deaf from repetition
then you'll never need to worry
because you can finally stop waiting
lend me your ears
Drinking Lit GasolineI think I'm drowning in your wordsDrinking Lit Gasoline3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as they drip
and soak into my heart
until I'm submerged
in liquid thoughts
I can't handle.
The thoughts won't come out,
they only scald my throat
leaving the taste of ash in my mouth
because they are your words.
not meant for normal tongues-
and I'm burning from the inside out.
This is what I get, I suppose
for letting you burn a hole in me
It's time I learn to float
and carry myself in debris
and wreckage and destruction-
because they are already cascading
over my waterlogged bones
your eyes are sodden
tinged purple and grayish-blue-
the look of someone
who's spent too long
The way you are has set my heart ablaze
But all too soon, only embers reside
Knowing who you are, I'm afraid
That eventually nothing will be left inside
My eyes, once bright, are hollow and dull
Orbs to be seen and not see
You're frightening, love,
With the look of someone
Who's scattered sparks in the wind
I think I've been breathing
you in too l
Sleeping Souls Never Liethey buried youSleeping Souls Never Lie3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with stars in your palms, because
they thought it was a crime
you'd never made a wish in your life
the dirt and darkness
was enough to extinguish
their dying lights
(it's okay, your silent skin
said, softly, I always wanted
the sky to bring me to sleep)
the priest begged, believing you
might rise from the hole
you'd dug for yourself
he wanted to let you know
there was something bigger than all of us,
someplace farther than 6 feet under
(I'm alright, your stony eyes
swore, sometimes falling
feels enough like flying)
their voices all filled with tears
even though you said you weren't worth
their worries, they wept for the future
you wouldn't get to live
(I wouldn't have lived it anyways,
they buried you
near the ocean, where the moon
always shone too bright
so you'd never again have to fear
any monsters of the night
they left flowers, photos, notes
and a little bit of themselves, too
when they finally left you
you believed it was right
Sleeping Behind the WheelI want you to sing me a songSleeping Behind the Wheel3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to erase all my preconceived notions
about life, love, and (listless?) dreams.
I want your voice
to conquer all my past--
the beast that plagues me.
I want you to whisper words so sweet
the day may finally rest.
Because I've been awake for years, now--
and I need a little sleep.
take me away--
redeem me with your notes
like fables, like promises,
like wishes made a million times before
take me away--
to that place between my mind and heaven,
that doesn't exist.
because there, I can be comforted
ignore the life I've spent
trying to tally all I've done wrong
I want you to write me a lullaby.
(I want you to lie)
I want to fall asleep
with a dream in my eyes
(instead of tears.)
and I want your thoughts to be
what gives that all to me.
There's got to be more than this, I don't want to just exist
Somewhere Between Creation and Beingthey built him out of sandpaperSomewhere Between Creation and Being3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so he could help those
a little rough around the edges
they gave him rose-colored irises
and put his heart in his throat
so he could only speak love
they wrote him a history
deep within his DNA
(lingering, and a little too clingy)
but he learned to live on promises
instead of mistakes
they gifted him off-center feet
that always leaned into his dreams;
he was tall enough to live
with his head in the clouds.
sometimes waiting gets to you.
it settles your leaden bones
and you forget why your legs won't move
you fall a little too far
into everything you're praying on,
and you don't have the strength to
pull yourself back into normal living.
but he was different
he didn't believe, he knew
time didn't slip,
he nursed it
and he never broke
even though they piled
the weight of the world
on his expectant shoulders
As Insubstantial As Cigarette Smokei.As Insubstantial As Cigarette Smoke3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
they wrapped me through with police tape
before i was born;
yellow silk fetters entwined among
the arches of my ribs
and along the hollow bumps of my spine
like a warning
binding back what leviathan lay
in the dusk
i've searchedandsearched and never found it,
but they promise me,
(oh promise me it's there).
i've tried to call down the sun from up high
because i didn't like the way it made everything
i prefer the darkness.
(they've told me that's
where i belong,
hidden away for what
better purpose i have yet to
i'm drowning in shadows vague and empty,
and all the wrong words
i never gathered the courage to
because with each whisper
another remnant of what sky i used to know
comes crumbling down,
and i always bloody my hands
when i pick up the shards.
i tried to tell them
that everything falls to pieces.
they shook their heads
with jaded smiles
and told me not to worry.
but they are reflective, i say
Tender Vivisectionslet's pretend we never shared a wordTender Vivisections3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
or a thought, or an identity
because those patterns and indistinct
separations that came to be what made us
last, were always the most frightening things
I fell asleep to memories
of intangible emotions
and bitter ramblings
whenever you said 'good night'
"hush now, darling
a better day's a blink away
we find ourselves in our weakest moments
and your brittle bones will snap
Pestilenceall of God’s children sleepPestilence3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
together and count the falling sheep,
stars nestled in their eyes as they
prey upon the crumbling walls;
God loves all his children and I am
the orphan with an asphalt blanket;
clouds scorn me and I mourn
their wasted hatred
(my eyes, my broken plastic
looking glasses; my hands,
termite ridden and frost bitten;
my heart, worm holed and
what’s there behind these echoed
words? divisions of another from
a better time, I have begun to live
and lie with no consequence
because that little toxic feeling
floating in my chest likes to
poison everyone I’ve ever met,
and I’d rather be asleep within
the hearth: cinder baby never
voiced the ugly truth
for fear of rejection
my addict voice pleads
for the wrong redemption
a dream that
I was unattainable
and I had a reason
to wake up
oh, my god cries like dad did
the day I broke his heart;
heaven looks like home but I
am hell-sent and gravity-bent,
Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?Can't we just pretend?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That we're all just okay?
Can't we just pretend?
That we don't all just fake it?
Can't we act?
Like actresses on stage?
Or like this is all a dream?
And soon we'll wake up and it'll be okay?
Do we really have to talk about the bad?
I want to see the good...
Or just imagine it
I need a brand new world
A fresh start
Can't we just pretend?
That life never happened?
Can't we just pretend?
That this isn't the end
Stitching Wounds with Stringent FeelingsYou breathe me in with desperate, shriveled lungs--Stitching Wounds with Stringent Feelings3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
for I am a sordid necessity.
My words are like a salve for judgments hung
so selfishly upon your blatant needs.
And maybe you're a martyr in your eyes--
surprise, I see you lynched by your own thoughts.
Self pity and resentment are a guise
to hide the nothingness that starts to rot
your blackened insides. Take me into you,
feel whole from my magnetic pull towards those
robotic dialogues you think so true.
Just take me in, only the Lord could know
reflections meet you with a deadened stare.
You distant angels never really care.
I Die Forever In Your ArmsForever I die in your arms and die again when you look at me,I Die Forever In Your Arms3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
only within this eternal death can I seek to be free,
and always I wander in the shadows of the midnight sun,
beneath the metallic sky this journey is only half begun,
by killing me softly you have brought me again back life,
I weigh the balance on the edge of the sacrificial knife
while the thunder cracks, overhead I kneel to embrace strife,
I meet the Morrigan at her alter before the split tree,
death may be found in more ways then one, Mother War holds the gun,
lightning strikes, the blade falls and I rise as the Chaos Wife.
Dreams of an AngelI.Dreams of an Angel3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"what do angels dream about?" Lindsay asked
I thought for a minute
"they dream to live like us."
"then why did Rachel want to die?"
"goodnight" I said, and turned out the light
Rachel used to sing to the birds
she said sometimes they just wanted someone to show they cared
and she serenaded them
until she was sure they felt important
in the car, Lindsay broke down
the black veil she wore seemed to be more
than an article of mourning
"why do they make child-size coffins?"
"did you see her?
even dead, her spindly fingers reached out
but I couldn't grab her "
I held her hand
because it was the only thing I knew how to do
Rachel used to write notes
she tucked them in branches,
under rocks, between her pillows
she said they were her secrets.
she always wanted someone to find them.
Lindsay shut down
the walls grew darker, the ceiling grew heavy
did you know silence chokes you?
She had a recurring dream
she always woke screamin
Reverse Polarity and a Little Bit of FateHe believed in angelsReverse Polarity and a Little Bit of Fate3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She believed in lies
she was hummingbird-reminiscent
gifted with flight, she strayed from sight
and her secrets were hidden between her rapid wings
He counted his lucky stars
She cursed barren skies
her laugh resonated, hollow
it echoed off the walls she built
to keep intruders out
He fell for her, hopelessly
He dreamed only to make her smile
she pretended he didn't exist
still, he was drawn to her (like a moth,
to bad ideas)
She told him she was too far lost
(Though she was only in denial)
his eyes glinted, golden
bright enough to melt the frozen rock
she had called her heart
Despite her tries, she loved him, too
She decided to do something new:
she was cynical and jaded
he dreamed to touch
A Sky of SmogI.A Sky of Smog3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"what if every star out there, twinkling
is every dream that's ever come true?"
she asked me
"but what about the stars that burn out?"
I replied. She didn't respond.
she was too busy searching the night sky
hoping to catch a dream
"what do you want in a guy?"
I asked one day
when our heads were empty,
but our mouths were full of words
we didn't quite know
"I want someone who can understand me"
and she sighed as though it were only a wish.
"Oh," I said
"I just want to fall in love
so all these stories I write
won't be lies"
and we laughed as though it were only a joke
when she first fell in love,
she flew so high she could no longer see the ground.
I warned her, "what if he breaks you?"
she said "that's the beauty of it.
we give everyone we love pieces of ourselves
until we become murals of everything we care about."
I just shook my head.
if you're giving away pieces,
aren't you already broken?
he wrecked her heart, as he was destined to.
"isn't it weird how our b
Into Something Newto the edge and back again--Into Something New3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
your hands were screaming
on the steering wheel
we have nowhere to go
you've always flirted
with the belief that moving
might get you someplace
like dreams of heaven and
eternities and carelessness
but forever is never enough.
it is not reachable,
and all the tire tread in the world
couldn't take you from your
no one ever took no for an answer;
your hands still scream for
deliverance from ambiguity
and actuality, as well.
so into the edge, far into the end
break the sky with your questions why
we have nowhere to go
but we'll get there soon
crystal catastrophies bottled upvcrystal catastrophies bottled up3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
her shaky hands couldn't hold a pen
or a promise
"my fingers have broken
trying to rewrite clichés-
believe me when I say, I'm special"
hollow laughs glossed over her
as she waited for the day
when that might actually mean
there was an eve long before dawn
ever tainted the starry night sky and
inflicted vision on those who preferred
to stay in the dark, where a girl
crooned quietly to herself
"what if when we meet,
I've run out of I love you's?"
this was before the sun whispered in her ears
that they'd never mattered, anyway
on wearied souls
who couldn't learn just how
to cross their fingers right
"maybe depression is a state of mind
for those who never knew
any other way"
she threw out all her mirrors
when they became too loud
life is something you grow into
a conglomeration of
soul searching and
forgetting to breathe
where age is indicative of
all that you have lost
"children dream, but adults
deny wishing in anger-
Sonnet XXIX: An endingThe world bent towards the end I would have writtenSonnet XXIX: An ending8 months ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
then like a harp-string snapped—the twisted threads
unwound, and all sprung back to what we had been
now I am gutted—and you, I think, are dead.
What use are harps when vaunting horns of silver
proclaim the world has ended; what for me
is left amongst the ruin and raging rivers
of blood and ash, and every tie cut free?
And yet—when your song wound through empty halls
and through your melodies all was reclaimed
I loved it then; that strain; its dying fall--
but tunes are lost, and only words remain.
Yes, only words remain. I cannot write
the wonder in your song—the world alight.
Live OnA blooming flower reverts a seedLive On4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
dying, neglected it wilts and bleeds.
A once strong stem is now so weak
once so colorful yet now so bleak.
A flower beaten black and blue
left raped and drained it's lost its hue.
Grey petals shrivel turning brown
Till finally streching to kiss the ground
and as they fall they have a chance
a breeze calls out, the petals dance
and still they think of days tomorrow
through the pain and the sorrow.
A new day dawns, they now can rest
while sleeping on the soil's chest.
And although the flower is now gone
the dried up petals still live on.
I Am In Love With MedusaImmune to her glareI Am In Love With Medusa4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
That beautiful stone casting stare
Enchanted by her powers
I gaze at her eyes for hours
Her eyes are marbels of pure perfection
Mirrored soul reflections
That speak, she is not evil, just possessed
By a curse that cannot be but to rest
Her snake hair starts to hiss
As I lean towards her for a kiss
And when our lips meet
My heart she defeats
I am in love with medusa.