Be prepared[Scar:] I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
[DM:] And where do we feature?
[Scar:] Just listen to teacher
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues!
And injustice deliciously squared
[HM:] Be prepared for what?
[Scar:] For the death of the king!
[SM:] Why? Is he sick?
[Scar:] No, you fool, we're going to kill him... and Simba too!
[Micro:] Great idea! Who needs a king?
[SM HM and Micro:] No king, No king, nah nah nah
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter 2Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter 29 years ago in Humor More Like This
Sasuke sighed. How come school was so boring? Now he had to sit next to that new chick. What was her name again? Oh yeah. Naruta. He looked over at her. She was doodling little monsters and what-not. Sasuke coughed, and looked down at his desk. He had no paper. He had no pencil. He had forgotten all his things at home. He had over-slept studing for a test that turned out to be rescheduled, and rushed to school. He was super-tired. But he had to take notes. And the only person to ask for a piece of paper and a pencil was...
"Hey," Sasuke whispered. Naruta looked at him.
"Got any paper? and a pencil?"
"Uh, I can do the pencil part, but not the paper. I'll get you a piece." Naruta poked the boy in front of her. He turned around and blushed.
"Hi. I forgot a piece of paper. Could I borrow a piece?" she asked with an innocent twinkle in her eyes.
"Sure..." he gave her a sheet.
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter ThreeSexy no Jutsu: Chapter Three9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Naruto woke to his annoying alarm clock. He slammed it down on his nightstand, then threw it to the ground. It continued to ring.
"D'mit." he mumbled. "Shut up...!" he picked up the alarm clock and looked at the time. 6:45. He groaned. "I dun wanna got to skooooool...More sleeeeeep..." he curled back under his covers. His gears started clicking. "OH MY GOD, SCHOOOOOL!!! I'M GONNA BE LAAAAAATE!!!!!!" he jumped out of bed and quickly warmed up some ramen, and got into some clothes. He did hand signs. "TRANSFORM!" he transformed into Naruta, and quickly ate her ramen. "DAMN IT, I'M GONNA BE LAAAAATE!!" she ran out the door and saw Sasuke walking down the street. Oh, she thought. It's Sasuke. He thinks he's soooooo cool. Walking to school alone. What a dickhead. She smirked a bit. But there's no reason that I couldn't mess with him a bit.
"Heeeeey...You're that kid who asked me for a pencil the other day," she said, trying not to sou
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Eight Naruta unlocked the door and threw her converse off somewhere. She grabbed a remote off her dresser and turned on her stereo. It started playing 'This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race' by Fall Out Boy. Naruta began to sing along.Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Eight9 years ago in Humor More Like This
"This ain't a scene, it's a God damn arms race," she sang quietly while she surfed on demand. "Is there anything you want to see in particular?" she asked, looking at Sasuke.
"Eh, not really," he said, sitting down next to her.
"OH MY GOD!" Naruta smacked Sasuke in the face and ran towards the stereo.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" he demanded. Naruta was soon squealing.
"THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG!" she screamed. "It's called Killer Likes Candy~" she said, looking at him. "And I'm a killer," she pulled a sucker out of her pocket and started unwrapping it. "Who likes candy." she concluded before popping it in her mouth. She walked over to Sasuke and sat down next to him. "Sorry for slapping you. I was excited." she said smiling.
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter FourSexy no Jutsu: Chapter Four9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Damn. Damn damn damn damn, Sasuke thought. He was mad. He was minding his own business until these drooling fangirls chased him, then he met up with Naruta, then she says that they're going out. Why was life so hard?! He saw Naruta at her locker. She was hitting her head on the inside of her door.
"Oh God, what have I done, What have I done? I'm such an idiot, I'm such an IDIOT!" she said out loud to herself. "Why did I do that? I'm such an idiot!" she looked at her hands. "I can't believe myself. This is so stupid. I should just drop this stupid prank and forget about it." she closed her locker and buried her face in her hands. "God, if Sasuke finds out about this...I'll...I'll be dead." Sasuke had a confused look on his face. "And if Iruka-sensei finds out...I'll be dead either way. I have to make sure no one finds out."
"Finds out about what?" Sasuke asked. His eyes widened and he covered his mouth. Naruta looked over to the corner where Sasuke wa
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Nine "So, you're from the Sand Village, right?" Naruta asked Gaara.Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Nine9 years ago in Humor More Like This
"Yeah...That's right," Gaara said, "The Sand Village."
"Ooooooooooo! So, do you know any jutsus that are like, really not known here?" Even though Naruta wasn't Naruto at the moment, but curiousity would always be in her blood vessels, traveling down from her brain to the bottom of her toes. "Isn't the Sand Village popular for like, WIND jutsus or something?"
"Yes, WIND jutsus or something. I do Sand jutsus." he said, pointing his finger at the ground, then pulling up sand from the ground.
"OoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruta stared in awe. She poked at the sand, which felt like a rock. "How do you DO that?!"
"...Genetics?" Gaara answered.
"Sure, I'll buy it," Naruta said, easily amused by the sand. She poked at it until Gaara let go of it. "That's amazing! I wish I could do that..."
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter SixSexy no Jutsu: Chapter Six9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Naruta woke up the next morning and looked at her clock. 4:36, am. She sat up and a long lock of blonde hair fell in her face. She went to blow it out of her face, but stopped. Her eyes widened.
"My hair...Wasn't this long..." she shot up and stumbled out of bed and landed on the floor with a THUD. She stood up and raced to her mirror. The ponytails were still there. "Oh...My...God...TRANSFORM!" she smacked her hands together and nothing happened. "Oh no...Oh no oh no oh no...Master Iruka warned us about this...Oh God...Oh God...OH GOD..." she grabbed her pigtails and yanked them downward. "What am I gonna do, What am I gonna do, What am I gonna DO?!?!" she was on the verge of screamy bloody murder, so she quickly ran to her bed and screamed into her pillow. She looked at her calander. It was Saturday. "Saturday. That means I have time to plan. I need to start planning now before-" she blinked. "Before...Uh...STUFF HAPPENS! Yes. That's it. That's what I was goin
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter FiveSexy no Jutsu: Chapter Five9 years ago in Humor More Like This
What's going on around here?! Naruta thought as she walked toward school. Sasuke wasn't supposed to kiss me...Sasuke wasn't supposed to LIKE me!! she blushed and quickened her pace. She bumped into someone.
"Oh! I'm sorry! Huh?" The person turned around. "KIBA?!"
"Oh. Hi there, Naruta. Why are you all red?" he asked.
"Uh, No reason..." she said. "So, uh, you always walk this way? Yesterday I saw you coming from over there..." she said pointing into a house.
"Oh. That's my aunt's place. I stayed there yesterday." he said.
"Ohhh...I didn't know. Sorry," she said quietly. "Uh, I gotta go...To school. Bye..." she hurried away. Ugh, Kiba's so creepy! Anyway, back to my ranting. Sasuke wasn't supposed to FALL for me. That's just creepy! she came up to the school. "Oh. I'm here." she walked into school, feeling quite spacey. No one said hi to her today. All the girls gave her angry glares. When she re
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter SevenSexy no Jutsu: Chapter Seven9 years ago in Humor More Like This
"This Naruta Uzume has GOT to go! We need to chase her out of the Kohona! As long as she gets away from Sasuke!"
"I totally agree with you, Miss Leader! She needs to go, all the way to the Suna!" Sakura shouted, and all the girls agreed with her.
"Now calm down girls. We need to coax her away from Sasuke. Like getting a baby away from a bottle to a sippy-cup. You get me?" Miss Leader said. Slowly, 'Oooooooooooooooooooooh's slipped out of the girls mouths. "Well, now that everyone's on the same page...Sakura Haruno, and Ino Yamanaka!"
"Yes ma'am!" the two girls saluted at their leader.
"You two will get information on Naruta. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am!" they said and they ran out of their secret head-quarters. The lunch bell rang, and the doors exploded, leading out almost half the kids in the building. After a few minutes, a couple walked out of the building. It was Naruta and Kiba.
"Wait, Kiba? I thought
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter OneSexy no Jutsu: Chapter One9 years ago in Humor More Like This
It was a sunny day in the Kohona village. Naruto had just come home from school, and he was thinking of some pranks he could pull on his fellow classmates.
"Hmm...This one will be the best!" he snickered with glee. "I'll use the Sexy Jutsu to be a girl, and go to school. I'll be the new girl! But I'll need a name..." Naruto rubbed his chin with thought. It suddenly came to him. "Naruta Uzume! No one will suspect a thing!!" To carry out his 'evil' plot, he'd need a wardrobe. "Better head to the mall before it closes," he said before doing some hand signs. "Transform!" he turned into a girl, around his age, not like an adult like he usually did. "A bit busty, but it'll do." He put on a sweater, and headed to the mall. He went to a girly store. First, he had to find out his bra size, (which turned out to be a 30C) and some shirts and pants, and a couple skirts. The total came to about 25 dollars, so he put a pair of pants back. After his little trip, he went home.
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Ten Sasuke and Naruta walked towards Sasuke's house, holding hands the whole way. Both of their thoughts were racing through their minds.Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Ten9 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Oh God, why did I agree to this? Sasuke thought, She'll probably break something important, she's such a ditz.
First thing I'm gonna do is break something IMPORTANT!! Naruta thought. Her nose tickled slightly. "Ah-CHOO!!" she covered her mouth with her hands.
"Whoa, bless you." Sasuke said. "Do you usually sneeze that loudly?" Naruto blinked and giggled slightly.
"Heh, no." she said. "Well, I won't touch your hand, since I sneezed. Lead the way." Sasuke shrugged and continued to lead the way. Naruta yawned.
"We're here," Sasuke said. "Home, not so sweet, home." he unlocked the door. He walked into his house, still neat. He sighed in relief, and threw his book on the couch. Naruta looked around. It seem lonely, and there was a kind of heaviness in the air. She loo
30 Ways to Annoy Gustav30 Ways to Annoy Gustav Schafer30 Ways to Annoy Gustav9 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Steal his drumsticks and replace them with lollipops.
2. Make random animal noises every time he walks past you.
3. Duct tape yourself to his back.
4. Sit on his foot and refuse to relocate yourself for the rest of the day.
5. Lock him in a closet right before a concert.
6. Constantly remind him that Bill and Tom are way more popular than him. (I love you Gustav!)
7. Steal all of his favorite CDs and bury them in the backyard.
8. Spend your day doing nothing but thinking up ways to annoy him.
9. Give him death glares all day. When he asks you what is wrong, tell him theres a pebble in your shoe.
10. Glomp him from behind and shout "Viva Le Resistance" with a fist punch and run away, screaming. (Thanks Blackroses13!)
11. Cosplay as a random Naruto character, pick up his drumsticks, and shout Drumstick no Jutsu as you chuck them at him.
12. Smile as he yells at you.
13. Put a sombrero on your head and stalk him for the rest of the day.
30 Ways to Annoy Georg Listing30 Ways to Annoy Georg Listing30 Ways to Annoy Georg Listing9 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Hide his hair straightener. (Thanks Theyaylady)
2. Jump out of a random closet, scream as you shove a rock in his mouth and walk away as though nothing has happened.
3. Constantly remind him that he spends more time on his hair than the average American girl.
4. Creep up behind him the middle of the night singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider.
5. Paint his guitar bright pink with a yellow lightening stripe.
6. Draw a mustache on his face in permanent marker while he sleeps.
7. Laugh hysterically when he wakes up to discover your lovely artwork.
8. Lean very close to his face, until your noses are almost touching, and loudly declare Im wearing new socks today!
9. Spend all of your free time thinking up ways to annoy him.
10. Light a match, CAREFULLY hold it close to his hair and say This is a hold up, nobody move and Georgs hair doesnt pay the ultimate price!
11. Ask if he would like a kiwi.
30 Ways to Annoy Bill Kaulitz30 Ways to Annoy Bill Kaulitz30 Ways to Annoy Bill Kaulitz9 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Accidentally call him a girl in public.
2. Laugh hysterically every time he speaks the word what.
3. Steal all his eyeliner and begin drawing strange pictures all over his walls. When he asks what you are doing turn your back to him and mutter something about Georg doing you wrong.
4. Sing very loudly and very off-key to any Green Day song he might be playing.
5. At 4:27 in the morning, jump on his bed and scream The leprechauns are attacking! The leprechauns are attacking! Run for your life!
6. Rename him Phillip Johnny Bob and refuse to call him by any other name.
7. Give away the ending to any movie he may be watching.
8. Every time he beats you at a video game smack him with a pillow and accuse him of cheating.
9. Make fun of his dancing.
10. Tell him he looks like Michael Jackson.
11. Let a rabid monkey loose in his room while hes asleep.
12. Tell him his voice reminds you of a dying constipated cow.
30 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz30 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz30 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz9 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Call him a perv in any way, shape, or form in every sentence you say.
2. Ask if hes Jamaican.
3. Whenever an advertisement for any feminine product comes on the TV, turn the volume all the way up and stare at him with wide, fascinated eyes.
4. Loudly tell anyone who happens to walk by that Kelly Clarkson is his personal hero.
5. Smack him upside the head every time he tries to flirt with someone and say Bad Tom! Bad!
6. Give away his every location to his fans.
7. Snip off a lock of his hair, set it on the floor, light candles all around it, and dance around the whole mess in some sort of cannibalistic ritual.
8. Steal all his hats and mail them to Peru.
9. In the middle of a concert run up to him and yell: How can you perform when were destroying the Ozone layer?
10. When hes watching TV place a spinney office chair in his direct line of vision and start spinning around like a mad person yelling Im n
30 Ways to Annoy Tokio Hotel30 Ways to Annoy Tokio Hotel30 Ways to Annoy Tokio Hotel8 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Insist on calling Bill and Tom Thing 1 and Thing 2.
2. Read Green Eggs and Ham out loud late at night.
3. When they come back to their home town after a concert yell Yea, youre back! and hug them like youll never let go. After about five minutes constantly glance at the clock and say Shouldnt you be going somewhere?
4. Sell all four of them on eBay.
5. Tattoo your name on each of their foreheads in the middle of the night in permanent marker.
6. Dress up as a chicken and sing their songs loudly and off-key.
7. Constantly remind them that the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
8. Let a very large, non-poisonous, spider loose in the recording studio.
9. Record their loud, girly screams.
10. Poke Tom in the side non-stop, making him squeak. (This will not only annoy Tom, but his high-pitched squeaking will annoy the others too!)
11. Watch The Others a
Internet University: Part III(A warm day on campus, as per the unwritten laws of IU, fills the grounds with various mobs of students, chatting amongst themselves with not a sad emoticon in sight. Among them, weaving in and out of the crowded bandwidth, our hero Facebook seems to be surveying the area for something. His time alone is short lived, however, as he's soon spotted and charged by his hastily dressed younger brother. Stopping only briefly to show off his friends list to a group of attractive sunbathing Juniors ("Log off, creep!"), Myspace finds his way to Facebook, waving his arms around animatedly.)Internet University: Part III6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Myspace: "F4c3b00K, bR0!!1 0v3R h3R3!"
Facebook: "Dangnabbit. Myspace I'm really busy with something. Can this wait until tonight or something?"
Myspace: "N0, dUd3, u d0n7 uNd3rs74nD! 1 n33d ur h3lP w17 s0m37h1nG"
Facebook: "I've already explained this to you, Myspace. That creepy guy Tom is not really you're friend. You should probably stop inviting him to things"
Myspace: "Wh47? N0 n07 7h47. 5
Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter ElevenHeavy.Sexy no Jutsu: Chapter Eleven6 years ago in Humor More Like This
That's how Naruta's eyelids felt, how her body felt, how everything felt. She felt like someone took liquid metal and put it into her bloodstream, leaving her to rot. Last night...
...Itachi! How could she still be asleep?! She shot up into sitting position, eyes darting wildly around the room. Oh. Home. She tugged on one of her pigtails. Still a girl.
...Girl. Sasuke. Love. Shit. A dark blush made it's way across Naruta's cheeks. They BOTH used the 'L' word last night. At first it just seemed like a elementary school crush, but now...this was real, wasn't it?
"...Maybe..." Naruta said to herself. She looked up to the couch. She tip-toed over and looked over at the sleeping Sasuke. "...Maybe Naruto could make this work better. 'Naruta' just can't handle this anymore." she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and released it as a long sigh. "I wonder how you would react if you knew." she smiled and gently ran her fingers
Return to Internet University(Huge groups of students quickly fill the lecture hall in preparation for yet another long day of learning at Internet University. Seated in a row far in the back of the classroom, a barely-awake Twitter waits patiently for his good friend Facebook to hang up his Chatbox)Return to Internet University6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Facebook: No, I told you last night I havent seen it, remember? Look, man, if that things that important to you you should go see Google about it. I have to go.
Twitter: I am wondering who that was
Facebook: Oh it was just Craig. He lost his stupid list again. I keep telling that guy to get more organized
Twitter: Tsh, Craig. I am remembering a few weeks ago when he tried to hook me up with some dog-walking gig and sell me an old copy of Osmosis Jones at the same time
Facebook: Thats not even the half of it. One time he had this freakin hornets nest, right? And- oh crap here she comes! Here, uh, act like my last Stat
Internet University The Fourth(Waiting in line at Pin Number, Internet University's premiere student shopping facility, good friends Facebook and Twitter discuss the former's peaked interest in attending an art Forum being held on campus next week. The store is alive with a healthy buzzing of student chatter, and only the distant whispers of chaos indicate another political debate has erupted on the grounds. Again.)Internet University The Fourth6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Twitter: "I am telling you your layout is fine as is"
Facebook: "Are you kidding? We're talking Forum types here Tweet! High class, none of this mindless bickering and inane chatter we put up with. It's not like they let just anyone join these things."
Twitter: "I am sure you've been through enough layouts already. I am doubting anyone will care at this Forum place. I still cant believe you're giving"
(Twitter freezes. Facebook nonchalantly pushes him slightly forward in line, to the bewilderment of students behind him. One of them timidly asks if Twitter has crashed, to which Faceb
Shadow's Sleepover: Part 2After the Operation (8:11 P.M.)Shadow's Sleepover: Part 28 years ago in Humor More Like This
Shadow: Okay, we put blood, sweat, and tears into it, and I hope you like it.
Silver: I do too.
Sonic: (*holds up mirror for Silver to see himself*)
Meanwhile, a mile and a half away, a flock of birds fly away from a pond as they hear Silver scream.
Sonic: So, I take it that you dont like it?
Silver: Oh, no, I love it! Its so pretty! Thats why I screamed! ^-^
Silver: NO! How am I gonna get girls if my hair looks like someone ran a truck over it?!
Shadow: Oh, come on. Its not that bad! A-and cheer up! Itll grow back eventually.
Silver: Eventually? EVENTUALLY?! It took me fourteen years to get this hair the right density and length! Now its ruined! SHADOW! IM GONNA KILL YOU!!
Shadow: Eep (*runs away to kitchen where the girls are already eating their pizza*)
Silver: GET BACK HERE!! (*chases Shadow around kitchen table*)
Blaze: TT I have cookies.
Silver: O.O Cookies! ^-^
Guns N' Babies - BabysittersGuns N Babies babysittersGuns N' Babies - Babysitters6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Steven: (walking in Duff's room to see him wearing a suit) hiya daddy!! Whatcha doin'?
Duff: getting ready for my date!
Steven: (getting on his bed) what date?
Duff: I met this girl, called I can't remember her name but anyway we're going out tonight.
Steven: I can't wait to meet her!
Duff: oh no lil dude. You're stayin' right here. I'm not having you guys screwing up this date for me.
Steven: aww who's going to look after us?
Duff: Sharon Osbourne.
Steven: HER?! Oh my god, she's a female devil! She won't let us watch TV, won't let Axl swear, and worst of all doesn't read us a bedtime story!!!!
Duff: fine. Who do you want as your babysitter?
Axl: (walking in the room) I heard you're gonna get us a babysitter!! I want hmmmm Vince!!!
Duff: oh no. I heard what happened last time
Axl: (innocent look) that wasn't my fault.
Steven: please daddy?
Duff: (seeing the sad faces) ok. I'll see wha
Shadow's Sleepover4:47 P.M.Shadow's Sleepover9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Rouge: (*sitting on a lawn chair in her backyard by her pool*) Ahh what a nice evening to relax
Rouge: Well, so much for that.
Shadow: (*comes running out back door and stands in front of Rouge*) W-why is th-that p-p-pink th-thing a-at ou-our front d-door?!
Shadow: You know, that girl thats obsessed with the faker. Amy Tulip? Amy Carnation?
Rouge: Amy Rose! ^-^
Shadow: Yeah, thats it. Oh, and that purple cat is there with her. Not the fat one, the skinny one. Fire? Flame?
Rouge: (*gasp*) And Blaze too! They must be here for the sleep-over! ^-^
Shadow: Sleep over? Whats that?
Rouge: TT Do not annoy me with stupid questions, Shadow. Here, Ill tell ya if you go and get them for me.
Shadow: ^-^ Okay! (*runs and gets Amy and Blaze*) (*comes back with Amy and Blaze*)
Rouge: 0.o TT What took ya?
Shadow: So! Whats a sleep-over?!
Amy: 0.o What?! Have you lived in a cave all your life?!
Shadow: If by
Pen Parodies of Potter 1Pen Parodies of Potter 18 years ago in Humor More Like This
Ginny: *playing cards with George* HAH! I PWN JOO ALL! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Ron: Seriously, Ginny. Calm down! Harry's insanity must be really rubbing off on yo--
Harry: *is upstairs* NOOOOOO! *storms downstairs, wrapped in a towel* OKAY! WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS USED MY SHAMPOO!?! WHO DID IT???
George: And there we go. Ginny, I'll ask you again and again. Dump Harry and go out with me!
Ginny: But we're siblings...
Harry: SOMEBODY'S GOT TO ANSWER ME!
Ron: *edges towards door*
Harry: RON! *grabs Ron and sniffs his hair* HOW COULD YOU!?!
Ron: *wimpers* Well... I always liked your hair... and it was sitting right there...
George: *grabs Ginny and snogs her*
Harry: HOW DARE YOU USE MY SHAMPOO!&
Pen Parodies of Potter 4Pen Parodies of Potter 48 years ago in Humor More Like This
Ron: He's gone mental...
Percy: Why do you think he's suddenly acting this way, Hermione?
Hermione: Well.. We suspect Voldemort's been resurrected. Then, he started having strange dreams, and now...
Ron: He sings like William Hung.
George: What should we do with him?
Ginny: *rolls downs stairs and crashes onto concrete floor* MMMMPH! MMMMMH!
Ron, Percy, and George: *run towards Ginny and untie her* Ginny!
Hermione: *stands up and turns* Oh my god! What happened to you?
Ginny: I was alone in my room, when a hand suddenly clamped over my mouth. The next thing I knew, I was unconscious in my closet, and I heard Harry's voice!
George: What was he saying?