In My Memories
In My Memories
My love for you felt like frost-bitten pins
My heart, body, mind, and soul were numbing
This double-edged conscience~
No hands were lent / No hands to take
Abandonment Abandonment Abandonment
Countless tears to shed / Countless tears to make
Abolishment Abolishment Abolishment
The thoughts of you are like venomous-needles
After the emotions are injected the end seems less beautiful
Pain is unforgettable~
This unrequited suffering is self-made
No affection No affection No affection
I hoped you were the one but I fell for you too late
Bad medicine Bad medicine Bad medicine
The lights that instantly caught my eyes
Were too promising to believe it was just another lie
Cruel by design~
Anxiety enters my already-damaged bloodstream
It's coursing It's coursing It's coursing
I destroy myself little by little with every silent scream
It's unnerving It's unnerving It's unnerving
The dreams of the past keep
UndeceasedUndeceased2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's just a matter of time
Before I leave myself behind
I've almost pushed everything away from myself
And soon there will be no more reasons to beg for help
I'm slowly dissipating, and as this continues on there will be nothing else
I am just too tired
The ending is all I desire
I quiver as the waves of life crash against my hollow shell
Striking endlessly, and after living through this I don't even fear the depths of hell
Because being this strong means I've accomplished killing every emotion I've ever felt
This life of mine shall be undone
My era of hopelessness has begun
I could be so more much than this
I do have a purpose, yet I still resist
I yearn to have it all but I don't even wish to exist
So let the day of the rapture come
But leave me be, the lone soul who is numb
I contain my own apocalypse in my palms
But I will never release it, I
OceanfallOceanfall3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
One final leap into the depths below is all it really takes
Open my lungs up, and let freezing freedom take my breath away
I did my time here on Earth, I served my time in life
So now I'm done, it's over, I no longer need to be alive
I've seen what cannot be unseen, I've done what I cannot undo
I cannot change the past, and the future is what I cannot live through
A watery grave is what I have dreamed of, it's all I have ever really wanted
A slow, and silent decent, it's an honor to finally become one of the departed
My eyes unknowingly darken, as I instantly try to grasp onto the last of the light
Realizing this is the last time I'll see through my human body, it's such a beautiful sight
But crying underwater seems like it's impossible to do, so I'll still try my best to defy the odds
Because I know I've felt all of the different kinds of pain, so this is me letting go of what I've got
The Words I Didn't MeanThe Words I Didn't Mean2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The Words I Didn't Mean
Your last steps seemed to echo
While I watched you walk away
You're leaving me in our love's shadow
And all I can feel is a piece of me break away
The shock starts to sink in
Every pore is conquered
A fissure begins within
I'm torn asunder
Liquid memories drip from my face
My heart will always remember this kind of pain
The love that was shown on this day will remain in vain
I didn't know how much passion could weigh
Or the damage it could do when it betrays
Fused with the words that I never even wanted to say
Compassionless by nature / A lonesome torture
Unloved by liars / Sought by manipulators
Breathing in shards / Tearing out hearts
Caught off-guard / Soul is scarred
The regrets won't let me breathe
The thick tears protect me from what I don't want to see
This fresh wound over my chest is where your place used to be
Pathetically rooted by my knees
I reach for you through the debris
Even though there's no one who can salvage me
HeartsbaneHeartsbane2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Being around you like I am
It's a sensation I can hardly stand
Passed the point of torture, which I can barely pretend
So I have you show you I'm okay, and that I'm doing the best I can
This weight of my heart's world
Harboring all of these scars, new and old
And it contains countless secrets that I try and hold
Which I continue to endure alone, because I sold my soul
This pain is my peace
That's why I need you, please
Your hope divides the fear
So I will always depend on you being here
But I'm so afraid
To let myself love someone again
Because my hands are still stained
From all of those heavy tears that rained
I want to forbid myself from becoming lost in your eyes
While I'm desperately trying to not release everything that's bottled up inside
Every second, I'm an inch away from revealing all of these feelings that I try to hide
I'd give you it all, and deny you nothing, for I know your happiness will also become mine
I don't want another day to be lovele
Wings Of DarknessWings Of Darkness2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wings Of Darkness
Bind me within your embrace
Bestow me with your grace
I seek your help to obtain the unseen
I need you to blind me from the light
Never let me see my weakness again
Blanket my fears so I won't cry
Cease the false hope from shining in vain
Ward away the lies that hide behind my eyes
Morph this disaster into a calm night
Burn the dying sun out
Darken the nightmarish sky
Let the ominous clouds melt
Lock away this cursed gift of sight
I no longer desire it
Shut out the world from you and I
I yearn for the abyss
Rip away my self-hatred
Bring back my innocence
Obliterate the life I created
And color this reality obsidian
Let the void consume
Paint my essence black
Devour what was once called truth
My faith is in your hands
I profess it all unto you
I am under your command
Cover up my exiled heart
Wrap my soul i
My Broken PromisesMy Broken Promises2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My Broken Promises
I know \ you don't need to remind me anymore
I heard / those heartfelt words many times before
You remember I said I would always be there for you when you needed me
But instead, I just upped and left the both of us, so heartlessly
Knowing very well that you're the most important person, I'm so sorry
Maybe these words of my inner hurt will help you understand clearly
I always thought that my first kiss ever would be with a special someone
But it was taken away from me in a split second, the loss cannot be undone
And I planned to keep my virginity for a little while longer, I wasn't ready yet
But I was robbed of it, the exploring hands and eyes is what I will never forget
One day, a person can be young, and hopeful, and oh-so innocent
The next, life has changed, and the remorse makes everything different
I hope \ you believed me when I said I'd never let go
I wished / that no one would ever find my suicide note
Healing My HeartHealing My Heart2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Healing My Heart
I thought a day like today would never come
When a sincere smile finally broke through
And I've grasped onto this sense of freedom
When I forged this connection with you
I was so deep into it
Thinking I never would get out
Being stuck in the past has made me into this
But now I hold my head up instead of facing down
Because of this, I've realize there's a difference between my tears
I used to only shed the ones for all of the mistakes I've made
Which I've cried for all of those long, and lonesome years
Until today, so I'm overwhelmed by the relief you gave
Undone, unvexed, unbroken
The difference is the forgiveness
Unbecome, unsilenced, unforgotten
The pieces have become painless
I waited for a night like tonight to arrive
When I could finally sleep so peacefully
And for once I have never felt so alive
When I found myself dreaming faithfully
I had no choice but to force my own hand
So I took that mass of hurt and made
The Feelings That LingerThe Feelings That Linger:The Feelings That Linger2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The sound of your voice still lingers here
Even though I know you're gone...
And my nights have turned to sleepless days;
They grow worse with every dawn...
You've probably heard this story though
At least a thousand times or more.
But the thing I remember best about her
Is the sound of that closing door...
It was like the end to everything;
A cloud inside my head.
When I came awake on that final night;
I reached for her in bed-
But an empty space was all I got;
There was no one to wipe these tears.
I could scream and cry for many hours;
But it wouldn't chase my fears.
I tried so hard to tell myself
That everything would be alright.
But instead I ended up reminsicing
About her ever-present light...
I'm just so tired of everything;
I wish I didn't have to think...
But maybe you'll hear me one last time;
If I put this down in ink:
We had a life that was beautiful
The Stalker's PathYou allowed my presenceThe Stalker's Path2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To be your malady
So fragile in essence
The last of the letters
Has finally been sent
No newspaper cuttings
Just these feelings to vent
Alone in my abode
At the dining room table
I relinquish romance
To the realms of fable
The time of no reply
Holds sway over my life
Fork for food, spoon for sauce
Redundant is my knife
Have you forgot my name
Watch from your widow's walk
As you drench me in shame
Out to sea, out of sight
You cast my memory
I'll run aground on the shores
Of your inequity
Wings of DespairWings of Despair:Wings of Despair2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A momentary glance toward the birds in the sky;
Makes me feel like I am soaring; with a hope to fly.
But the chilling winds that wrap me, reflect the cold of this day
And the icy frost that batters me, chips me away...
It drains the very breath from me, as though the ice is locked within
I feel my hope is fading again; like a jar of captured wind...
Where once my will was strong and boundless; now it sits on broken wastes
I must admit this crushing despair, it feels as bad as it tastes....
From the moment that I acquired them, these were ugly tattered wings
They were made from my despair, and bound in bitter strings....
Like permanent fixtures, of sorrows and tears;
They are laced with poison, and embedded fears....
On the edge of my sanity, I hear the voices keening;
These are lives that are lost while the creature is breathing...
It's a snippet of darkness, a shard of me!
A hidden part that you will never se
The Lie of VengeanceThe Lie of Vengeance:The Lie of Vengeance2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It begins first as a smouldering fire;
A heat that swelters and burns inside your own heart.
It then roars to life as a flame of destruction;
Seeking, hungrily, to consume all who are bound by it...
This is the gift of vengeance
A kiss so sweet that it could only be an evil temptation.
Yet all will seek it in darkness;
For there is none who can resist its sweet allure...
It is like a friend in your time of need;
Comforting and seemingly understanding of your pain.
It tells you that you need to stand up for yourself;
It tells you that others must fall for you to live on!
But this is a lie! Obvious as it might seem;
Many fail to notice the intricacy of this deception.
It is difficult to fathom that the glory and relief which vengeance grants you;
Is naught but an ephemeral wind, existing only for a moment...
Shame and guilt will then crush your spirit
And the emptiness of the void begins to ring hollow within your soul.
The hole which you
The Coward (I Am) The Hero (Is Damned)The Coward (I Am) The Hero (Is Damned)2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The Coward (I Am) The Hero (Is Damned)
Every choice that I've made always failed / always failed
Every day I looked death in the eyes, and I smiled / I smiled
I guess I just gave up somewhere in the beginning / in the beginning
Piece by piece, I let myself go, I'm slowly breaking / I'm slowly breaking
Taunting my own useless mortality / preaching to the ashen-winged angel
This lifespan of mine is such treachery / the golden doors are too judgmental
My worst enemy is also my own reflection / a war to be unleashed
My only friends are the tears that keep dripping / though they still leave me
Far too long have I been on my life's edge
Looking down, and backing out of my own hollow threats
But I swear that one of these days I won't wait to die from old age
I will skip to the last chapter, and write the ending in blood, soaking the page
All it takes is this lowl
Our Word is SacredOur Word is Sacred:Our Word is Sacred2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We have struggled against the chains of fate
We've lived our lives on the edge of hate.
Oppressed by the taunting of the foolish and blind;
It is time we stood and responded in kind.
No more can we sit here, content with our place;
Else by apathy alone we shall be erased!
Our work is like a candle, a small one at best;
It is quickly snuffed by a single breath...
For too long have we accepted, the concept of equality;
Whilst simply accepting the crumbs of poverty.
Our people go unheeded, as madmen and sloths;
The "cultured" eat like kings, while we are fed with broth...
To create these verses, it takes a lot of time;
Have you ever tried putting your thoughts in rhyme?
Have you dealt with the frustration, of grasping at words?
Trust me my friend, it is like hunting for birds...
To put this in a structure, to give poetry a form;
It can take some men from dusk till dawn...
Yet we slave away freely and we beg for a chance;
But all we have e
The Unread LetterThe Unread Letter2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If I could go back in time
I would, and say what I really wanted to say
Then maybe, just maybe you would still be mine
And I never would have had to go through all of this pain
I yearn to take it all back
To cast away every word that was said
I want you to know I didn't mean any of that
Because I knew you were the one when we first met
You're the one that let go
I was the one to get left behind
You're the one that took my soul
I was the one that had a break down that night
You said nothing
And left me waiting
I needed you to say something
I silently pleaded for you to say anything
Maybe I thought it was a hollow threat
But I knew it was a damaging move you meant
If I only had one wish
I would ask to see you once again
And then I would beg for forgiveness
Just to try and undo all of my unjustified destruction
Every mistake made
All of the tears that were shed
True DespairTrue Despair2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How the light has darkened.
How the strongest have fallen.
This cloak remains
Unseen by many
A barrier to hide away
Covering up my damaged sanity
I have to act a certain way
And pretend I still have a sense of humanity
But I know it's too late
So there is no restoring me
I am both sword and shield
My bane is myself
My wounds will never heal
I am both heaven and hell
I fear my own reflection / I dread my own aggression
I am your ruination / I am your protection
I keep all destruction within / I keep all sympathy distant
I am your nightmare / I am your savior
The gift of infliction
Tells the story of life
The curse of humiliation
Reaps all forms of power and pride
Oh how the human soul can be broken.
Oh how the darkness can be overpowering.
This overwhelming pain
Is what you shall not fear
As I start to break
I hold the thoughts of your love near
I cannot place blame
So I put it i
Dreaming Of RageDreaming Of Rage2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dreaming Of Rage
I don't want to give into the maddening thoughts
I don't want to become what I am not
My clenched hands start to bleed
Because I despise falling asleep
Knuckles harden as I delve into unconsciousness
My bad blood boils away the sense of innocence
Inner wars are fought / Faces yearn to be tarnished
All of my battles are lost / I put every bad memory into my fists
I don't want to know my true self / Different sides of the same coin
My reflection is altered by the pain I felt / We both will reach the breaking point
The forgotten fury yells to be freed
The hidden hatred screams to be unleashed
The rioting rage roars to be challenged
The warmongering wrath growls to be unchained
As I dive into my pool of anger
I let go of my guilt and descend deeper
Shaking, trembling, quaking / To strike freely is my only wish
Breaking, tearing, rampaging / As my sanity slowly diminishes
I could ne
OBSCUREOBSCURE:OBSCURE2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The flower of midnight blooms
As the wind will sway the trees.
But my corpse will dangle helpless
As it is blown by the breeze.
Feel the prick of final judgement
As I am cast into the flame.
Born again into this world;
Where my life is just a game.
I think and try to remember
But the night is simply cold
I return to the ancient tree
where once my soul was sold.
I gather the rope and ladder
while the moon is shining bright.
I kill myself again;
In the quiet of the night...
A lonely obscure defiance;
Where my silent tears will fall.
For none will ever remember
A quiet broken doll...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 14th May 2012
History Is Never Made By Those Who BehaveWe are taught of former gloriesHistory Is Never Made By Those Who Behave2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The burden of our history
Weighs heavy on infant shoulders
As it does our enemies
But I feel safe and protected
On this the day of the Moon
Unlike the remaining six days
When impending horror consumes
Wind chill woes on the moors this morn
Freedom spoke in a foreign tongue
I did not understand her chants
Percussion did not help her song
The stench of death, the drums of war
In time with the beat my heart gave
History is never written
By the flocks that choose to behave
So raise hell but come together
Unite as we are all the same
Keep the lion's heart within you
Your fiery temper learn to tame
Project your positivity
Onto those you cannot abide
Love those who have come to despise you
And they'll learn to love you in time
Ladies down all of your weapons
Gentlemen surrender your arms
We will keep calm and carry on
War is nothing more than self harm
Our safe word will be "unity"
Just three syllables from release
Save lives with the words "I love yo
Rest My Sweetest DarlingSweetest little dragon child, with a tiny broken wingRest My Sweetest Darling2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
For you it is a solemn song that we are made to sing.
Your parents fought to save you, but here it is you lie
My sweetest little dragon child, why did you have to die?
There are no words to capture grief, nor the mourning in our hearts
I never thought that we were meant to be easily torn apart...
No pain in life could have ever prepared us, for the pain we faced today
My child I wish you could hear the words that we truly long to say
We wish we could have taught you, about the flowers in the spring
We wish we could have showed you, the homes of our kin...
We wish we could have loved you, and watched you fly away
But in this cold and clammy cave is where you have to stay
We'll lay you down to rest for now, so just dream of better times
Your mother and I will be the ones to atone for our crimes
Sleep for now and rest yourself for you needn't ever rise
We will stay and watch you drift away, before our very eyes...
"My dearest Mideen
Without JoyA bard may choose to sing a song of happy days and eternal blissWithout Joy2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But why should I sing of happiness, when misery is all that is?
The suffering we see around us, is tantamount to hell
Yet we accept these horrid days; caught within a spell
Perhaps I'm simply being morbid, a soul disturbed by a darker voice
Or perhaps I am the whispered truth; personified by choice.
I will not speak of revelations nor of better days to come
In terms of hope for the future; I'd rather remain mum.
For the world I've seen has shown to me, that pain equates to life
I'm sure you've tried it many times on the edge of a sharpened knife
Why would you open embittered wounds and seek a constant pain?
Why must you always drench yourself in a cold and solemn rain?
Is the heart a device so perfectly fragile, that it needs to be reinforced
Or do we simply enjoy ourselves; screaming until we're hoarse...
The answer to this is not so simple and I've sought it out for years
I've searched in every distant cor
The Enemy WithinThe Enemy Within:The Enemy Within2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I have nothing that I can give
Cause I was never taught to live
How do I know what is pain?
I disappear into the rain
Carry me on angel's arms
Don't let me ever come to harm
The blade will cut into my skin
I face the enemy within...
And I feel him, and I feel him cry
And I feel him, and I feel him cry
What do you want from me?
Take me slowly
Are you the man I'm meant be?
Suddenly the lights go out
I open up and try to shout
Gasping out my final cry
Is this how I'm meant to die?
Lead me home once again
Let me face this world and then-
I will try to get control
Won't let this feeling take it's toll...
And I feel him, I feel him cry
And I feel him, I feel him cry
What do you want from me?
Take me slowly
Are you the man I'm meant be?
Why can't you see?
We'll both be sorry
If you take this life from me!
Heavy StressI seem to be awake at nightHeavy Stress2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
For my mind is rushing on
The stress will always haunt me
Into the hours of the morn
I've never been a nervous man
But some nights I need to think
I find myself so filled with stress
I seek the bathroom sink
Out it goes
And chokes the nose
The dizzying thoughts of this bitter stress
Forgive me mother, I can't be the best...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 16th May 2012
Alcohol Fueled WordsAlcohol Fueled Words2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Alcohol Fueled Words
Blame can go a long ways
When the problems stay intact
Guilt always refuses to fade
After another hurtful attack
Regret has an unquenchable thirst
While voices are thrown every direction
Rage is tightly bottled up until the next outburst
Though the tears dry, the reasons for them won't be easily forgiven
You bring out those secret, false words I don't even mean
You push me over the edge, and get rid of my sense of controllability
You expose hidden feelings that are supposed to be locked deep within me
You pull me into a downward spiral, to release my brutality
You choose innocent targets to go for, but you leave their faces blurry
You lock me within a state of mind that consumes all of my untapped fury
You turn me into a monster, so heartlessly
You change morals and intentions too quickly
You win every time; hail to your addictive victories
Intoxicated emotions are limitless
While they continue to riot away inside
Resistance is rendered useless