rununaware of whats going on.
sitting awake until the break of dawn.
feeling tired but unable to sleep.
having the desire to always weep.
no longer caring who i hurt.
feeling the need to constantly make it work.
wondering when the days mixed to night.
watching the birds take their flight.
seeing their wings shimmer in the sun.
than having the sudden urge to run.
run from the things i cannot stand.
and run fron the things that were not planned.
I wanted to be freeI was shoutingI wanted to be free3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
to whomever would listen
what I was wishing for :
I wanted to be free.
I was crying
when the ties cut my skin.
I was suffering,
I wanted to be free.
I was lamenting
on the torture I was living through,
limiting the things I could do,
I wanted to be free.
Free of worries,
free of boundaries.
Able to do what I wanted,
when I wanted.
Then it came,
the day when the laws ended,
people did what they wanted,
where and when they wanted.
We had to face chaos, we still have to.
The ties that were cut
wouldn't be put on again,
because people loved their freedom.
Freedom payed with a dear price,
lost peace and lack of security.
Living in anarchy,
having to abide to the law of the strongest.
So I surprised myself to wish
for laws to bind us again
so that we could sleep at night,
so that we won't be afraid for our lives.
I wanted to be free to speak my mind,
I wanted to be free of these fears,
I didn't want to see blood spilled any
The lick of the FlameMost people fear the wild flame.The lick of the Flame3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I long for the flame to lick my skin.
To warm my ever cold heart
and to give back the passion I once owned.
I long for the smoke to suffocate my misery
I long for the smoke to fill my lungs
For it is thicker and sweeter than what air ever could be to me.
I long for the smoke to intoxicate my mind.
For the crackle of the flame to whisper sweetness to me.
As the flame takes over my heart.
I long for the burning lick of the flame.
To give back feeling.
To give back life.
In this hallow state,
To feel the bliss of the fervently flame.
To feel the pulsing of my heart once more.
I am alive.
Once more in this hallow state
I crave for the wild flame to lick my heart and burn my soul
to give me life and passion once more
Make my heart pulse again.
11. Hands1 - Desperately,11. Hands3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
2 - My hand
3 - Clings onto yours.
4 - But what you don't
5 - Understand is that the touch
6 - Of your cold fingers are like
7 - Blades, digging deep into my tender flesh.
8 - The pain, of course, is comforting; blood draws
9 - A thin thread between us, connecting us. Unable to
10 - Let go, also unable to hold on. It forgets to
11 - Fall, even though gravity pulls it into the depths of the
10 - Ocean. Then I realized you were the one tugging on
9 - The line, unwilling to throw me away. I followed.
8 - Am I this easy to fish out? Am
7 - I as blind as to believe that
6 - What my hand met was real?
5 - I got ahead of myself,
4 - Believing in a sweet
3 - Illusion, filled with
2 - A faint
1 - Light.
LanguageI've always felt odd about words.Language3 years ago in Personal More Like This
Sure, I speak English. Logically, each word has a meaning, and whether or not that word or a phrase can be translated definitively, it can still be understood. It can be recognized.
Sometimes I question the existence--the substance--of words.
I can string together a sentence. Does it mean anything? Is there substance? Is there nothing?
Each word is defined by other words that don't use the word it's defining because, naturally, that would be illogical. Wouldn't it? Instead, they use synonyms, which are, in turn, defined by that word and other words. Each word is another word, another sentence or phrase. Dependent clause, generally. I suppose they are sometimes independent clauses. Why am I rambling? I am exhausted. That is why.
Words are defined by other words. Those words have definitions. Some words are words from other languages that had completely different origins but still have a "meaning," a "definition."
Some words are defined by opinion
Home AloneHome Alone.Home Alone3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Everything becomes so much more dark and sinister whenever you are alone.
You're constantly on guard and overcautious just to answer your mobile phone.
Any slight disturbance or eerie creak and you begin to panic.
Retreating back into your secure settee conjuring up the most dramatic
Scenarios that have virtually no possibility of ever occurring.
But that never seems to stop the cogs from continuously turning.
You fasten all the windows and arm yourself with kitchen based artillery.
And man your position surveying the living room as if you were a member of the military.
Increasing the volume on your television set to distract and block out the noises.
The local neighbors walk past your window but you class them as unfamiliar voices.
You can't help but be on edge until you have some sort of company.
But these common trains of thoughts are expected and customary.
I thought the same until I heard this one story about a girl called Anne.
She was in a similar situation; she was
Poor Little GirlSweet Little GirlPoor Little Girl3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Don't say a word
Be careful what you say
And run away
There's a monster on your tail
Waiting for his kill
His stomach rumbles in the night
He's waiting for a bite
Scared Little Girl
It's time to hide
There's a labyrinth in the garden
Get out of his sight
He's following your scent
And tracking your trail
In no time at all
He has you in his sight
Poor Little Girl
You never had a chance
With a shrill little scream
You exhaled your last breath
Done with his meal
The monster stalked away
Lapping up blood
Still dripping from his fangs
Lost My GutsCreation with a needle and thread,Lost My Guts3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
where do I come from,
what's in my head?
Some buttons, a marble
to act as my brain.
I'm mindless, I'm fearful,
I'm going insane.
A puppet, dancing on steel-faced strings,
But feeling, living,
conscious of things.
Time frays the yarn
that holds in my guts.
Left in the barn
to play with the mutts.
Glossy, blinding, frivolous sun,
blocked off by dust
shooting the gun.
I sit and wait
for my soul to be free.
My stuffing escapes
through the holes in the seam.
I'm found! I'm found!
I'm thrown in the wash,
I come all undone
I'm finally lost.
Plummet for PassionDamocles shimmersPlummet for Passion3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A mulberry bitter
Tear me from darkness
Into the grey
Grand hills of wheat lashed
A white water gash and
Unraveled dreams sent
It is the DarknessIt is the darkness that cumulates, coils and collectsIt is the Darkness3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
At the edge of the visible light; a haven in the night,
Never quite visible, always tangible. Always pulling
On the fraying edges of the mind’s tapestry that one day,
As all things must, will unravel, unwind, and remain unfinished.
It is death’s running chase that reveals ones innermost self.
There is the rain and the moon and the dark stormy clouds
And these are evocative of their master. They’re the painter’s stroke,
The craftsman’s signature style, and above all else,
They are the Roman’s requiem, solemn and persistent,
Fashioning a loose, straightforward arrangement of ominous drums,
Strong and defiant, yet quavering uncertainly in the face of painful realisations.
Death’s touch is surely the softest. They say love is a flower,
Soft and delicate, beautifully rare. But Death, Death is all these things,
Calling you softly “come in from the cold”, enfolding you gently i
Hold OnSeems like nobody cares anymoreHold On3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Days go by and I am stuck in the same place as yesterday
Locked in this cage
In a endless loop of disappointment and lost
All I can do is to hold to the dream
Just hold on and believe
I know the road is hard but a day will come
Today may be long but tomorrow will come
I just need to hold and believe
Weeks have gone by
I still hold on
To that dream
But that dream went up into flames
I thought it will never turned this way
But all I can do is to hold on
What is left of me?
What I can pull out of this rubble?
Burned up in flames
A lifetime of effort, gone in a flash
I feel no pain or numbness
Just feels nothing
But I will always remember
Remember to hold on
Hold on and believe that someone will come and save
LonelyA shy little girlLonely3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
all on her own
starting a new life
yet still alone:
Things were going
to be different
things were going
But she still
sits in her dorm
no more than
a two word exchange:
Food always tastes better
when with friends
sometimes she sits
there and pretends:
A safe haven to learn
she thought she'd call home
has turned into a hell
with no one to know:
She though she
could be visible
but things never
are what they seem
and she will never
have a happy ending:--
I Want to...I want to run away,I Want to...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Run away and leave everything and everyone behind me,
Just think of myself for once,
Not worrying about anything or anyone,
I want to be free,
I want to feel the wind in my face,
I want to feel the freshness of the air blowing through my hair,
I want to feel and embrace nature for it's true form,
Lying in the grass,
I would love to dig my fingers in the ground,
Feel the adrenaline racing through my veins as I scower the woods,
Feel the freedom of being alone and not restraint,
I want to rest,
No more pain, no more stress, no more worry,
I want to have fun doing the things I love without any pressure,
I want to enjoy myself,
I want to leave,
I want to be in a land far, far away, excluded from civilization,
Away from all the problems that come with humanity,
Away from all the constant conflicts,
I only wish there were such a place.
Who's the Danger Here?Poisoned KissesWho's the Danger Here?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Rain false affection.
Don't let them touch you,
Or you will be tainted.
Don't listen to her honeyed words
Or tempting promises.
She'll only destroy you!
Just run away!
Don't worry about
What you think you see.
Don't look back,
Don't shed a single tear for me.
I'll only destroy your
Beautiful and innocent heart.
You can't embrace her!
You can't love her!
If you do I-
Desperate tears fall from my eyes,
Innocent kisses from your loving lips.
What if it kills you?
You hold me,
As if I'm fragile,
As if the slightest touch might break me.
You're words are like warm rain
On my frozen soul.
Because I feel them.
I know what will happen-
If I let you continue.
I strive to push you away,
But your affection has trapped me.
I try to save you-
I'M the danger.
But you seem intent
On saving ME
'Goodbye' Isn't Always...You don't know my secret pain'Goodbye' Isn't Always...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The pain I hide from every day
Every smile fades away
Etched in every word I say
But to you I seem okay
Well, that's just on the surface
Nothing about me is perfect
It's safe to say that I'm worthless
I've got no plan nor a purpose
And I can't begin to explain how it feels to be ignored
By the ones you love, by the ones that you care for
It hurts more than you could ever imagine
And I'm not having this anymore
You burrow under my skin when you assume that I'm okay
That I've never had to deal with any sort of real pain
I've been through more than you could ever forget
This experience alone is solely my one regret
I don't know if you've noticed but I've had it up to here
There is just one more thing I want to make perfectly clear
This is not something I ever wanted do
But you're forcing my hand; it's something I have to
Just please, promise to remember my goodbye
Is more than just that, it's much more than what you knew
It's just a painful way for me to say
Take Me There.Somewhere on the vast Earth lies a special place.Take Me There.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A place where two individuals are destined to meet.
Lovers who long to be in each other's warm embrace at last,
sure to never let go.
A place that will lead to endless happiness,
and a bright and promising future for two confused souls.
This place is magical -
nothing short of exceptional in its brilliance -
and though it lay unoccupied now,
both would give their lives to be there.
Reflected InspectionReflected InspectionReflected Inspection3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Here I am again examining my disfigured figure in the mirror.
Fondling my fat wishing I could trim it down with a pair of scissors.
Relentlessly poking, prodding and picking at my face.
Leaving behind nothing but a black, coarse and scabby trace.
Furiously patting down my cheeks begging them to be smaller.
Standing on the edge of my toes willfully imagining that I am taller.
Folding my ears inwards commanding them to decrease in size.
Hysterically trying to find the beauty they said existed in my eyes.
Scrutinizing my nose using my hands to mould it into my desired shape.
Impatiently withdrawing my stomach to wonder how I would look if I lost some weight.
Slapping my overlapping thighs repeatedly, persuading them to become firmer.
Grasping the pair of scissors at my throat with the intent of committing my own murder.
Thinking to myself how can anyone ever find me remotely attractive?
And how can I ever expect myself to be regularly sexually active.
With me looking
Through These EyesIn a city where it rains so muchThrough These Eyes2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How easy it is to just see gray
Not through these eyes though
These eyes see color everywhere
No sadness will be found in the rain
By me all that's found is joy and serenity
Each drop hitting the ground is a small symphony
I say let these tears of bliss fall from the sky
Breathe life into the plants
Quench the thirst of the city
This is what I see in a city so "gray"
And it is through these eyes
I catch a glimpse of something angelic
Inside of you,when I look into your eyes,
I can see it, feel it, deep inside of you
A mysterious elegance that pierces the heart
I know now, my queen, there is nothing
Nothing more exquisitely divine than you
if you read my diaryif you read my diary, you'd seeif you read my diary3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
teardrops scattered on paper
and words scrawled on the pages
my mistakes, my feelings, my nightmares
if you read my diary, you'd see
my dreams, my fantasies
and everything that makes me … me
if you read my diary, you'd see
that i'm not exactly what i am
if you read my diary, you'd see
lyrics of songs that struck a cord in me
sad songs that made me cry
a series of questions that's always why
do i feel hated among all people in earth
and the last time anyone saw me
i was with a pen and that cursed blue book
tearing pages and writing words
wondering if i was born with a curse
if you read my diary, you'd see
that sometimes i'm sad,
sometimes i'm glad
sometimes i'm mad
but this is what makes me … me
CutWhy is time spent on tears?Cut3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This nagging sensation
will draw the blade home.
Silence was never golden
serenity is a crimson stream.
Memory, once only skin deep
finds shelter somewhere deeper
concealed under scar tissue.
Hide with fear of love and scalpel
an everyday stare to hide the truth.
Not all wounds are physical;
Not all pain can be forgiven.
In everything I doIn the second it takesIn everything I do3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
For you to race through my mind
The world seems to have stopped
Just to give me time to savor the picture,
The one of you that never leaves my head
And the best part is I get to enjoy it often
For in everything I do, I think of you
You are my inspiration, my hope
Balance to my life is brought by you
So I thank you, my dear, my darling,
Queen and guardian of my heart,
For being yourself.