I've never been the prettiest person in school. My body isn't all that great and my skin is far from perfect. Instead of wearing pretty sparkly clothing, I wear anything and everything black. My hair is a deep midnight black. My sky blue eyes are rimmed thickly with black kohl eyeliner. Because of they way I dress, I stick out in my uptight school. I've never made any friends, and frankly I don't need any. Why take the chance of being stabbed in the back by someone you care about?

My parents barely talk to me since they were always busy with work. I may as well have lived alone. No one cared about me, so what was the point in living anymore? I was tired of having everyone, students and teachers, glare at me like I was a waste of space and their precious time.

But that was all before I met him.

He made everything I knew about the world

....and myself....

He made it all change.

Chapter 1

This is not where I wanted to end up. Not at all. How in the hell did I even get here? Oh yeah…that's right. I remember now. I was dragged here on a dare. She said it was going to be funny. That something good might come out of it. That in the end we'd be laughing. Well, guess what, Natalie? I'm not laughing right now and by the look on your face? Neither are you.
"So, anyways, enough about me. What do you do for a living?" the all too eager guy sitting across the table from me with oily hair dangling in his face asked me. What was this guy's name again? I glanced down at the sticker on his faded Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt. His name was Tim. I slid my gaze over to the large timer sitting on the podium up front where the girl who had arranged this was standing with a large fake smile plastered on her face. I still had another minute and a half with this guy. I inwardly shot myself in the face.
"I'm a female impersonator," I dully retorted.
Tim blinked a couple of times not quite sure of what to make of my comeback.
"Ah, well, um…" he stammered. I rolled my eyes and leaned over to Natalie who looked like she was having an equally fascinating time with the guy that I had just finished talking to: George.
"Why in the hell are we here again?" I whispered in her ear. I watched Tim wring his hands anxiously waiting for the clock to go off signaling the change of tables.
Natalie sighed and slid her gaze over to meet mine. George continued talking away not even noticing.
"Because I thought it would be fun and interesting. We've already tried a dating website and looked how well that has turned out for us," she whispered back.
"So your solution was speed dating?" I hissed.
"Hey, I know a lot of people that have had success with these sorts of things," she huffed. I gave her a droll stare.
"Name one person you know that has had a good relationship come out of one of these things," I challenged.
She sat for a moment thinking.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I replied straightening back over into my seat. Natalie shot me a glare.
At that moment the sound of the obnoxious ring of the clock signaling time's up rang throughout the room. Tim and I sighed with relief. Before the men could move down a table to talk with the next girl, a loud gong rang throughout the room. Everyone glanced up at the podium where the fake smiled cheerleader of speed dating stood with a gong in her hands.
"Alright everyone. Let's take a fifteen minute break and then we shall continue the speed dating only we will mix up the order a little bit," she cheerfully announced.
I spun around to look at Natalie. She merely turned her head to meet my gaze.
"So….how was George?" I questioned with a smile already knowing what her answer would be.
Natalie rolled her eyes. "I swear, if that man could talk any more monotonously I think my eardrums would have exploded from the low frequency. I mean seriously? I felt like I was sitting in church trying not to fall asleep during the preacher's sermon," she scoffed.
"Yeah, I know," I agreed. I glanced around the room at all the men. "You'd think there would be SOME hopefuls here, but I guess that would make it too easy on our luck."
"This is speed dating, Leighra. Hopeful guys don't need to resort themselves to speed dating because they are either already taken, fictional, celebrities, gay, all four, or happily living their life somewhere far away where we have no chance at seeing them let alone dating them," she replied.
I placed my chin in my hands with a defeated sigh. "I was hoping you wouldn't remind me."
"But that's exactly why I'm here," she chimed. "To remind you of ALL your misfortunes."
"Obviously," I grumbled rolling my eyes. "So how much longer do we have left of this unbearable torture?"
Natalie took out her phone and glanced at the time. "About another half hour," she notified.
"Oh my god, I'm gonna die," I whined.
"Stop whining. You'll be fine for crying out loud. And would you find some better guys to talk to? I'm tired of getting your sloppy seconds," she snapped.
"Yeah because I control what guy sits at my table next," I scoffed rolling my eyes.
That annoying gong sound rang throughout the room. Both Natalie and I twitched when we heard her speak into the microphone.
"Alright break time is over! Now we have reassigned the men to new tables. We hope you ladies are getting lots and lots of phone numbers," she sing-songed.
Natalie and I gave each other kill-me-now looks out of the corner of our eyes. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back waiting for the next loser to take a seat across from me. I heard the sound of a chair being pulled out and then a sudden sharp jab to my ribs.
My eyes snapped open to glare at Natalie.
"Ow!" I hissed. Not that it even mattered. She wasn't even paying attention to me. She had her eyes on the guy sitting at my table. Wondering what horrific style of clothing he was wearing or how much gel he had put in his hair, my gaze slid over to look at my new partner. With that, my mouth dropped open in shock. Where in the hell had THIS guy come from? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered seeing a guy like THIS.
Although I couldn't see how tall he was exactly, I knew he was easily over six feet. He had broad muscular shoulders with a small area of his tattoo exposed beneath the sleeve of his shirt and a little bit along his collarbone where the shirt was cut in a v-neck. He had a strong, square cut jawline and high cheekbones to compliment his aristocratic nose and gorgeous, pierced plump lips. Onyx black hair fell in straight, jagged layers to barely brush along the tops of his shoulders. What held me frozen in place though were his ice blue eyes that had a ring of midnight blue surrounding his iris.
The man smiled at my look of complete and utter shock making me turn my attention to the piercings he had on his mouth. On either end of his plump bottom lip was a black hoop. I believe that sort of piercing was called a snake bite. Fuck that. When it came to this man it was more of a sexy bite. Holy hell, I was so stunned at this man's beauty that I couldn't even come up with decent jokes.
My eyes fell to that toned, muscular chest searching for a sticker with his name on it, but I couldn't find it.
"I forgot to slap on a nametag when I came in a little bit ago," he replied almost like he had read my mind. Holy hell. This man was British. His accent wasn't very heavy, but it was there. That amazing British accent was there.
"Oh, um, well, my name is—"
"Leighra, correct?" he finished for me.
"Um, yeah," I chuckled nervously playing with the ends of my curly dark brown hair. "You're the first guy to have pronounced it right."
"Oh?" He questioned cocking a single dark brow. If I hadn't been sitting down at that moment, I would have collapsed to the floor from my legs going weak. He had the sexiest inquisitive face.
"Well, a lot of people want to pronounce it lee-rah like it's some sort of stupid cheerleading chant. When in fact it is pronounced leer-uh. Yeah, my parents are weird I know," I chuckled still playing with my hair. Natalie kicked the side of my leg beneath the table making me realize how much of a girly girl I was acting.
"Uh, um, so anyways, what's your name?" I asked trying to go back to acting like the cool, reserved woman I had been with all the other men.
"All in due time, my dear," he smiled. "First, tell me a bit about yourself," he urged leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. The muscles in his arms bulged beneath his shirt making me gulp. Holy crap this guy was ripped, but not overly so. Just enough to make it count for something.
"Um, well," I started meeting his icy blue gaze. "I'm currently a student over at the local university studying to get my masters in Veterinary Medicine. My friend and I—" I motioned over at Natalie— "are renting an apartment together since we figured that would be cheaper than staying in the dorms again. I am working at the local animal clinic just doing some odds and end jobs until I can begin my internship this summer. Oh! I'm 21 in case that makes a difference somehow," I tacked on.
"Do you also happen to enjoy long walks on the beach, reading by candlelight, and being kissed in the middle of a thunderstorm?" he teased leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table with his chin in his hands.
"Sign me up for the last one, but when it comes to the other two…eh," I shrugged. "Don't get me wrong. I LOVE reading, just not by candlelight. Too harsh on my eyes. And the whole long walks on the beach? Do I look like the cover of a cheap romance novel to you? I mean come on," I scoffed.
The man laughed and man did that laugh hit me in all the right places. I glanced over at Natalie who was no longer even aware of her date anymore.
That's when the bell sounded signaling that our time was up.
"Alright, everyone! Time is up! I hope everyone enjoyed today and some lucky ladies and fellas are leaving here with either a date or a few numbers stuffed in those pockets," she giggled giving us a wink. I nearly gagged.
"Have a good night everyone and come back again tomorrow night!" she replied sending us on our "merry" way. I turned to look back at the man who had already stood up. Oh yeah. He was definitely over six feet tall. Probably at least 6'3" to 6'5". That's when I noticed he was wearing black, tightly fitted jeans with a studded belt and a few chains going from the front of his pants to link at the back of his pants. This guy was totally my type. Tall, dark, and gorgeous. Yupp. My type.
I quickly stood up as he looked at me. He stretched out his hand towards me. Nervous, I wiped the sweat off my hand onto my pant leg before grasping his larger hand.
"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Leighra. And I do certainly hope we see each other again," he smiled with a wink releasing my hand. He started walking away still leaving me in a sort of daze. That's when I remembered something.
"Wait!" I called out to him over the chatter of the other people in the room. He turned to look back at me. "What's your name?" I asked again hoping for an answer this time.
"I'll tell you the next time we meet," he called back. Then a sly smile slid onto his face. "IF we meet again and I have a feeling we will."
With that he was gone. I whipped around to face Natalie who had the same wide eyed, mouth gaped open look that I had.
"Holy crap," she breathed.
"I know!"
She slapped me on the arm.
"Ow!" I growled rubbing the red handprint imprinted on my upper arm.
"You should have tried to get his number!" she snapped.
"The man wouldn't even give me his NAME. What makes you think he would have given me his number any easier?" I snapped back.
"You still could have tried," she huffed.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair.
"C'mon. Let's just go home. I'm tired and really fucking hungry. The food here sucks. It's meant for plastic Barbie dolls and suicidal, anorexic teenagers. I need a fucking burger and a couple side orders of fries," I replied rubbing my stomach.
Natalie shook her head. "You know, it amazes me how you can keep fit when all you eat is junk food nonstop."
"You're the same," I retorted.
"Irrelevant."
I laughed and began heading out the door. "So are we coming back tomorrow?" I inquired glancing over at Natalie with a wry smile.
She glared at me from the corner of her eye.
"Hell fucking no."

Chapter 1

Five years later

A lot of things have changed since that night when I was raped. For one, I'm now seventeen and no longer living with my mother. She passed away last year from drug overdose. I had the option to go live with my grandparents, but they had never cared much for me as their grandchild since my mother had birthed me out of wedlock. My grandparents most certainly did not appreciate that. So now I am living on my own in a tiny apartment working two jobs while also attending school. That's ok though. Even when I had been living with my mother, I felt like I had been living alone.
Another thing about that night that I should mention, the white cat that had licked my nose shortly after the man had left? He had come back home with me where I fed and took care of him inside the safety and comfort of my room so Mother wouldn't know we had gained a new pet. Otherwise she may have killed him. I had given him the name Nakir after the Angels of Justice, Munkir and Nakir. I felt as if he wanted justice on the man just about as much as I did.
After the man had walked out of the alley that night, I had laid there unmoving for what felt like hours when in fact only thirty minutes had passed before I finally stood. My legs had wobbled from the fear still racing through my bloodstream, but I was finally able to continue on my way back home with Nakir following behind me. Fortunately, my mother had still not returned home and Mrs. McKnowlty hadn't tried calling. I didn't bother calling the cops. I had nothing to say and nothing to tell them assuming my voice box could have even worked at that time. I didn't know what the man looked like for sure. I just knew his body shape and the way the profile of his face looked.
Which brings up the question as to why I had been searching for five years for a man when I didn't even have a bit of clue what he looked like? For all I know, he could have completely changed his physical appearance, but I knew there was one thing my mind would never forget. The way he spoke. That slow drawl of his voice as he called me cutie. And that wretched smile he flashed after he had had his way with me. Those are images and sounds that would be etched into my mind for all eternity.
When school had started back up, everything about me had changed. My best friend, Tiffany, had been the first to notice. It wasn't just my appearance that had changed, but my personality had taken a complete 180 as well. Before it had happened, I had dressed in a neutral way so I didn't stand out in a crowd. I had been a quiet person with a shy demeanor. I hardly said anything except when I was asked a question. Even then my voice would come out quiet and timid most of the time. But after the incident, I was wearing black clothing. Anything and everything that screamed death or injustice to me, I would buy to wear. Most of those items were black, punk clothing. And it only grew worse as I got older. I was no longer the quiet girl everyone looked through in the hallways. I had a voice now and I knew how to use it. I began acting out in school. I nearly got expelled a few times. My timid demeanor had turned dark and sarcastic. I was tired of being the mat everyone walked over because I was small and weak. I decided to come out of that and show everyone I was no longer willing to be forced aside or messed with. I started teaching myself how to fight since, at the time, I didn't have the money to enroll in a self-defense class or have someone train me personally. And although I lost a lot of my friends and dropped the rest of them to become a loner, Tiffany always stayed by my side. She hadn't cared about the tremendous transformation I had gone through. She had even become worried for me that my mom had finally infected my life, but I assured her it had nothing to do with my family life at home. I had just lied to her saying it had been a long time coming for this new me. She never said anything about it again.
So now, here I was, still on the manhunt for my rapist and still clueless as to where he was. Every day since that night, I had been reading the newspaper, watching the news, checking the internet whenever I was at Tiffany's (before I had gotten my own), but had found no lead as to where in the world this man could be. It had bugged me to no end. And now that it was summer again, I was up to working three jobs to help pay rent, my car payment, insurance, gas, cable/ internet, and food. Fortunately, the owners took care of the electric and water bill. All I had to do was pay a $175 rent each month.
At the moment, I was currently sitting at my desk staring at the computer screen that was frozen on MSN's news page. I had another hour before I went in to work for the night over at the local bar. I was a waitress there.
I slammed my fists down on the faded, wobbly wooden desk making the piece of furniture tremble slightly under the fury of my fists.
"Goddamn it, you stupid piece of crap internet! I pay good money for you now WORK!" I demanded shaking my computer screen. The screen faded into white and a little box notifying me that MSN was not responding at the current time popped up.
I let my forehead fall forward onto the desk. I groaned in pain and weariness.
"Mrooow," Nakir voiced jumping into my lap and rubbing his butt all over my black shirt. I grimaced. Sometimes I really hated the fact that he was a pure white cat.
"Not today, Nakir," I sighed gently removing him from my lap and placing him on the floor. He cocked his head to the side giving me a questioning look.
"Do you think I should just give up on this? It's been five years and I still haven't found anything," I whined. "I feel like the eternal fire of vengeance burning in my belly is slowly dying out."
"Mrrrooooow," he growled giving me a stern look. I laughed. It was so funny that my cat had such human-like expressions and emotions. Nakir was definitely an intelligent cat.
"But I'm just wasting my time," I said to him. He closed his eyes for a long time before opening them again and staring at me with dull eyes. I had come to discover that that was his way of rolling his eyes.
"I know, you're right, Nakir, but I feel like I'm not going to get anywhere with this," I replied in a worried voice. How was I ever going to get a lead on this? I was only seventeen anyways. Not only that, but work wouldn't even give me the time I needed to just go on a manhunt for this guy. It's almost like, after that night, he just up and disappeared.
"What do I do, Nakir?" I sighed burrowing my face into my hands.
It was silent for a moment before I heard the subtle sound of something sliding across the carpet. I glanced up from the cover of my hands and saw Nakir dragging his food dish into my room from where it had been in the kitchen.
I burst out laughing when Nakir began pawing at the inside of his dish basically saying 'feeding me would be a great idea'.
"Alright, let's feed your fat belly," I smiled trailing my hand down his back and poking his small gut. He wove in and out of my legs as I picked up his food dish and began walking to the kitchen nearly tripping a couple of times because of him.
"Nakir, would you stop trying to trip me? If you want food, that is not a good way to get it," I warned opening the pantry door. I took his bowl and dipped in the cat chow bag to scoop him out a small amount of chow.
I placed it back on the kitchen floor next to his clean bowl of water. He immediately pounced on the chow scarfing it down. I rolled my eyes and made my way back to my room to check on MSN. Still not responding. I let out a sigh of disappointment before grabbing my jacket off my bed and heading for the front door. Nakir raced me to the door and pounced at my feet.
"Nakir!" I chuckled picking him up. He rubbed his face against one cheek and then did the same to the other side of my face before licking my nose. That had become his goodbye telling me to return safely.
"I love you, too. I'll see you at midnight."
He jumped out of my arms and allowed me to leave the apartment. I closed and locked the door behind me. For a moment I just stood there wondering if I would have turned out even more differently without having found Nakir, or I should say without him having found me. Either way, I was glad to have him in my life. Even if he was just a cat.

Chapter 2

******Zak's P.O.V******

I watched her with bated breath as my words slowly sank in. I could see each and every emotion flicker across her face. First, she merely blinked at me before quietly chuckling almost nervously. Aerolynn sat up and raked a hand back through her dark silky hair. She glanced down at me; her face showed a mixture of fear and happiness.
To be honest this wasn't quite the response I had thought I was going to get. Sure, I expected her to be shocked, but then I figured that shock would turn into overwhelming joy. The more she stayed silent though, the more nervous I became. I started thinking that maybe telling her had been a bad idea. Even though I knew that telling her now may not be the best of times, I figured she needed to know where my feelings lie. I didn't want to keep her balancing on the thin line of how I felt about her. I didn't want her to have any more doubts. I wanted her to be confident in the way I felt about her so she could proudly and gladly say that I, Zak Bagans, was in love with her, Aerolynn Richards.
She quickly turned away when she saw how sad I had become at her lack of response. Did I misjudge things? Is she not attracted to me the way I thought she was? Had my kissing her so suddenly been too forward and aggressive? But she didn't seem to dislike it…she kissed me back. Why was I having all of these doubts like some schoolgirl that just received the first text from her crush with a smiley face? This wasn't who I was. I didn't get all choked up and embarrassed like this. What was wrong with me? Why did my heart feel like it was breaking right now all because she had yet to respond to my confession?
Well, whatever this feeling was I wanted it to stop.
But I had a feeling that this ache would only grow as time went on.
****************************************************************************************
~~~~~~Aerolynn's P.O.V~~~~~~

All I could do was sit there and stare. I mean…what else could I do at the sudden confession? Ok, scratch that. There were plenty of other things I could do, but that's not irrelevant at the moment. What is relevant is that Zak Bagans, THE Zak Bagans, had just said the words I have dreamed of him saying to me for years. I had even planned out how I would react in a situation like that and this was NOT what I had planned out. At all.  I should be jumping up and down on the hospital bed, kissing him like crazy, and repeating those same words. By him saying this, it erased any sort of doubt in my mind of how he felt about me.
So why couldn't I find myself able to move and express to him my happiness at those words?
When I had seen his bluish-hazel eyes lower in sadness, my heart had sunk down into the depths of my stomach because I knew I had caused that sad look in his eyes. Something I had never wanted to see caused by me. But I was still so shell-shocked over what had just occurred a little more than a couple of days ago from when he had swept into the restaurant and kissed me. And now he was telling me he loved me? Don't get me wrong, my heart was about to burst with joy, but there was still that little itch in the back of my mind. That small itch you always seem to get at the worst or happiest times of your life that make you stop and THINK. We had been together for no more than three days and we were apart for four months. Was it possible to know you were in love in such a short time together, but a long time apart?
From what I have read before, based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts a maximum of four months. If it exceeds…then you are in love. But you figure that would apply to the fact that you spent a lot of time around each other. Maybe not though. I knew there had been something between us just on that first day when we met and butted heads.
I released a long sigh and turned to look at Zak.
"Zak, I—"
He held up his hand to stop me. He shook his head. "It's alright. You don't have to say anything. I understand," he quietly replied.
"Zak, just lis—"
Zak sat up continuously shaking his head. He propped his foot up on the bed and rested his arm on his knee. He dragged a hand down his face.
"What I said was uncalled for. I shouldn't have sprung that on you during a moment like this. I'm sorry," he apologized standing up from the bed.
"No, Zak, if you woul—" I tried to explain.
He cut me off again. "It's alright, Aerolynn, really it is. I just wanted you to know where my feelings stand. Anyways, I should probably let you get some re—"
"Goddamn it, Zak, would you just fucking listen to me for one goddamn second, please?" I angrily shouted. He glanced back at me, eyes wide with alarm.
"You're not allowing me to talk and explain my end of things. You're just making an ass of yourself by automatically assuming things that you don't even know are true or not," I snapped.
He folded his arms and motioned for me to continue.
"What I was GOING to say before you decided to interrupt me three damn times," I growled, "was that I don't feel disgusted, angry, or what other negative emotion you had going through your head. I'm just…overwhelmed at the moment. First, you leave me for four months and don't so much as even call me to make sure I'm doing ok. Then you just suddenly waltz back into my life and sweep me up into this searing, passionate kiss. Not that I'm saying I mind, but then I get shot that very day and wake up two days later to hear you telling me you love me. Do you see how I might not be as joyous as you may have first thought? There are too many things going on at once for me to fully process right now!" I explained.
Zak continued to stare at me after I finished with my little speech that he wouldn't let me get out the first three times. After a while he nodded his head.
"Alright, I understand," he softly agreed.
"Good," I sighed although I was sure he still didn't quite get what I was trying to tell him. Then again I wouldn't immediately understand either if the person I loved showed no reaction to me saying I love you to them.
I patted the empty, now cold spot next to me where his large, warm body had previously been lying.
"Now will you please come back to bed and keep me company through the rest of tonight?"
For a split second, I saw Zak hesitate like he wasn't sure if it would be a good idea or not. But then he smiled a small crooked grin and lay back down on the bed beside me. He pulled me down to lie across his chest. We were back to our former position before he had gotten up the courage to declare his feelings for me.
Our fingers were intertwined and lying on his stomach like before; his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand. Although the warmth of the moment had gone, there was still that feeling of happiness and relief.
I had a strong feeling that I returned Zak's love. It wasn't too awfully hard to figure out, but I was concerned about Zak. I didn't want to get caught up in his words only to have him realize that maybe he doesn't love me the way he thinks he does right now. That maybe it is more lust than love. I just didn't want either one of us to end up hurt. So that's why I couldn't tell Zak I loved him.
Not yet.
Not until I was sure.
Not until whatever darkness that was surrounding him…was gone.

Chapter 9

I woke up later that day to the bright rays of the afternoon sun shining directly upon my closed eyelids between my bedroom curtains. I brought my hand up to block the sun from beating down on my face as my eyes slowly fluttered open. A large, languid smile spread across my face as I stretched out my limbs under the covers. I let one arm fall beside me in search of Zak, but found only a large empty space. I sat up in bed and looked around the room. The clothes I had taken off him yesterday were gone. That could only mean two things: he was gone or he was merely in the other room. I prayed that it was the latter.
That's when the most wonderful aroma slipped into my room and assaulted my senses. Bacon. I could smell bacon being cooked in the kitchen. A strange sense of relief washed over me knowing that he hadn't left. He had merely gotten up to go fix breakfast. My eyes glanced at my bedside clock. It was nearing 1:30, so I guess I should say Zak was fixing lunch.
Eager to see Zak after our passionate night together (I was trying to forget the part where he tried to kill me), I jumped out of bed and slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I dashed to the bathroom and quickly raked my fingers through my hair the best I could without making it look too obvious that I had fixed it before coming out. Satisfied with the way it looked, I made my way out of the bedroom. As soon as I opened the door, a wave of the smell of bacon overwhelmed my nostrils. A smile broke out across my face. I wonder if I had stayed asleep a little longer if he would have brought me breakfast/ lunch in bed. I closed the door behind me and made my way down the hallway to the kitchen. Before I stepped around the corner I braced myself. Even though our night together had been almost perfect, there was still that incident where he lost control and choked me. I hadn't seen any marks around my neck when I had been fixing my hair, but that didn't mean that the moment still hadn't internally scarred us both. The darkness was growing steadily stronger inside of him. I needed to start acting quicker and find a way to help him. I just needed to figure out how.
I wasn't going to worry about that too much right now though. Not with Zak standing in the kitchen cooking food for us. I rounded the corner ready to slip my arms around the waist of the man I loved when I came face to face with another man entirely: my brother. He was half turned toward the counter with a sizzling hot pan in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other. His dark brown eyes met mine for a brief moment before falling to the bacon in the skillet. He slid the bacon out of the pan and onto a piece of bread that had mayonnaise slathered on it. On the other slice of bread was lettuce and tomato. An awkward silence enveloped my brother and I. I prepared myself for the slew of questions I was bound to get, but none ever came. Mason merely put the sandwich together, cut it in half, and turned back to the stove to shut it off. I raked a hand back through my hair and tapped my toes softly on the kitchen floor.
"Good morning, brother," I quietly greeted unsure of what else to say. Where was Zak? Was he in the bathroom maybe? Or was he out getting something? Maybe Nick had called him out to the motel for something? Assuming Nick was still here of course. He had been last I knew.
"Afternoon, you mean," he corrected.
"What?"
"I think you mean to say 'good afternoon, brother' since it is past noon now," he restated placing the skillet in the sink.
"Oh…right…" I chuckled nervously. Why was he not interrogating me? Did he finally come to terms that I was old enough to be with whomever I pleased?
"I made you a BLT. I figured you might be hungry when you got up," he informed me as he turned his back to me once more.
"Um…ok, thanks." I walked over to the counter and picked up one half of the sandwich. I took a small bite of it confused as to why my brother was acting so strange this morning. Had he maybe talked to Zak this morning when he came home? This still begged the question as to where Zak was. The only sound that could be heard in the entire apartment was the soft crunching sound of the bacon being chewed and my own pounding heart. That was when I noticed my clothes folded neatly on the kitchen bar. Mason must have found them lying on the floor when he came home and put them on the bar.
And with the way my brother was acting…something wasn't right. I slowly put the sandwich back on the plate as my heart kicked up speed. It was pounding so hard against my chest I felt like it was going to hammer its way out of my chest.
"Mason…where is Zak?" I asked gently hoping he was just going to tell me Zak had left to go visit Nick or go grab a quick change of clothes. My thoughts were screaming out at him to tell me that. Mason refused to turn and look at me.
"Mason. Please," I begged of him. "Where is Zak? It's ok. I can take whatever answer you may give me. I'm a big girl. I even took a bullet in the chest and survived. Surely I can handle a little thing like this," I nervously chuckled knowing that I was, once again, making a joke out of the being shot situation. I couldn't help it though. I was scared and I didn't know what else to do. Mason wouldn't even look at me.
Finally, Mason gradually faced me, but his dark eyes stayed glued to the floor. I slapped a fake smile onto my face so that I could maybe convince him I was ok with him telling me. I reached out a hand to place on my brother's bicep. That one gentle touch gave me everything I needed to get him to finally lift his gaze to mine. A mixture of sadness, pity, and raw anger was burning within the depths of his near black eyes.
"He's gone, Aero. Left early this morning while you were still sleeping," Mason darkly answered. My smile froze in place at my brother's words.
"What?" I lamely asked wondering if I had heard him correctly.
Mason leaned in close to my face. He licked his lips before speaking.
"Zak. Is. Gone," he repeated slowly and with more enunciation on each word.
"But…but that's not possible," I chuckled uneasily. "He said he loves me…he wouldn't leave me again. Not so soon after we just got back together. I mean…it has only been two weeks for crying out loud." My voice rose higher with fear and doubt with each sentence. Thoughts of betrayal and doubt clouded my mind. He wouldn't leave me again…would he? Not like that. Not in the middle of the night. Not after having confessed our love to one another. Not on my BIRTHDAY of all days. Right??
Mason wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly against his chest. I was too stunned to move. I couldn't even dredge up a single tear.
"I'm sorry, Aerolynn. I caught him sneaking out when I had come home. He said he's not the type of guy to settle down with one woman. He comes to places looking for new things and people to explore. You just happened to be one of the many women he 'explored'," Mason growled gritting his teeth together in anger. "He said he figured you were going to be a hard catch when he first met you with you being so stubborn and all. So he had to find a way to make a convincing show out of pretending to love you so he could get into your pants."
"He was just…using me?" I softly inquired. It was hard trying to comprehend everything my brother was telling me. It didn't feel real. Last night had been all but a dream. I had been Cinderella dancing at the ball in a beautiful gown with her prince. Only to wake up to reality this morning knowing there had been no ball or beautiful gown. And there certainly had been no prince. Just dreams and wishful thinking.
"Yeah. It was all just a ruse to get you to sleep with him. He never cared about you. He never loved you. He told me that he wanted to leave while you were still sleeping to make sure there would be no trace of him when he left. He didn't want you to see him leaving otherwise he'd never make a clean getaway to the next location with you biting at his heels," Mason spat still holding me tightly to him. That's when it hit me. A memory of last night slammed to the forefront of my mind.
"These aren't even in season," I breathed taking the trailing flower stem from him. As I took it from his hands, something dangled from it glistening in the light that illuminated from the electric candle.
I laid the object across the palm of my hand to see what it was. My mouth dropped open again when I saw it was a necklace. The pendant was in the shape of a diamond encrusted shell. My brows furrowed in confusion over why he had chosen a shell.
He took the necklace from my hands and unclasped it.
"Because of its hard casing, the Shell is a protective image - protecting life and also symbolizes the protective quality love sometimes takes. In Roman mythology, Venus, the goddess of love, was said to be created from the foam carried ashore atop a scallop shell. The Hindu goddess Lakshmi was said to also be created from the grit and pearls within the shell. Also in Hinduism the conch shell is symbolic because it awakens the heart of the faithful and calls to those who live with heart-filled love," Zak intelligently explained as he hooked the pendant around my neck. He brushed the hair out of my face and gently cupped my jawline in his hands.
"Now….can you tell me what the arbutus I just gave you means?" he asked.
I shook my head waiting for him to tell me.
"It means," he began. He leaned in closer to me; our lips merely a centimeter apart from each other. "That you're the only one I love."
Tears formed in my eyes at the memory of those words. There was no way he could have not meant it. I reached up and fingered the pendant that still hung around my neck. He hadn't taken everything with him. He had taken everything except the necklace and the memories he had given to me. Everything my brother had been whispering in my ear slammed into me making me nearly go breathless from it all. I finally understood. Everything Mason was telling me…it didn't make sense. Why would Mason be telling me all of this unless it was just lies made up by him, Zak, or them both in order for me to hate Zak? If Zak had really left for those reasons then Mason wouldn't need to sit there and explain it to me. All he would have had to say was 'Zak left in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry, sis' and hold me in sadness and pity. He wouldn't be gripping me tightly to him like this with anger.
I shoved my brother away and took his face in my hands when I saw his eyes immediately shoot down at the floor.
"Look at me," I demanded of him. His eyes met mine. That's where I saw the truth shining brightly in my brother's eyes. He wasn't mad because Zak had left in the middle of the night. He wasn't even mad at the fact that we had slept together before he'd left. My brother was angry with himself for being forced to lie to me. He was terrified at the thought that I would instead hate him because he was lying to me in order for me to hate Zak. I was the only thing Mason had left in this world and if I were to hate him? He would be crushed. He was frightened at the thought of losing me when all he was really doing was trying to protect me.
"Mason," I whispered as I saw a single tear fall down his cheek. I hadn't even seen him cry as I had lay dying on the cold floor of Luke's pizza shop.
"He left because of the darkness inside of him, didn't he?" I gently inquired of my brother. He nodded.
My brother, sergeant in the army and six feet tall, fell to his knees as tears fell in translucent streaks down his tan face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into my stomach as his large body began to tremble from his contained sobs.
"I'm so sorry, Aero. I never wanted to lie to you, but after having talked to Zak early this morning we both agreed it would be best for you to hate him. I was even dead set in agreement with him. But then…when I saw you this morning…when I saw the happiness fade from your eyes…" My brother held me tighter. "I-I couldn't do it. I couldn't look you in the eyes and lie to you. I know how much you love him a-and I didn't want you to hate me," he sobbed into my belly.
"I love you so much, Aerolynn. Y-you're all I have left. If you were to hate me?" His body racked from his tremendous sobs. I could feel his hot tears soaking the bottom of my tank top through to my skin. I closed my eyes to hold back my own tears at seeing my brother on his knees crying so helplessly like a child before me.
I dropped down to my knees as well and gripped his large face between my small, delicate hands. I wiped away a few tears with my thumbs before speaking.
"It's alright, Mason. It's ok," I soothed him.
Mason just shook his head in denial. "I'm sorry, Aerolynn. I had to lie to you. I had to lie to protect you. I just can't see you get hurt again. I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt over something I had the power to stop. I died on the inside when I thought we had lost you. A-and I thought that maybe if you hated him…th-then everything would be ok. That you w-wouldn't have to worry about hurting anymore."
"Sssshhh, Mason, it's ok," I repeated trying to quiet his continuous sobs.
"But I didn't want you to end up h-hating me once you discovered I had l-lied to you ab-about Zak and wh-why he'd left," he explained further. His bottom lip trembled more than normal now as he did all he could to fight back the endless tears.
"But I don't want you to hate me, Aero. I just w-want to see you ha-happy. Whether it's w-with Luke, by yourself, or with Z-Zak…." Mason gently took my hands in his and placed a kiss on my fingers. "I j-just want you to be happy. That's all I wish for."
Silent tears fell down my face at my brother's words. There had been no need for him to explain his actions to me. I knew why he had done what he'd done. Yet hearing those same words I had thought coming from my brother…it made things better since I wasn't just assuming his actions. I knew for sure now why he had done what he'd done. Not only that, but he was apologizing. Even though it wasn't needed, I knew my brother would never forgive himself if he didn't apologize for the wrong he felt like he had done.
"I love you, Aerolynn. I'm so sorry," Mason whispered against our hands. "Please…please forgive me," he begged.
I released a pitiful laugh that was a partial sob and threw my arms around my brother to hug him closely to me. "There is nothing to apologize for, Mason. I know you only did what you thought was right. How could I ever hate a brother who is only doing his best to protect his little sister?"
I pulled away from him, but still kept my hands on his shoulders.
"For my entire life you have been there whenever I needed help. You were always there when I felt like no one saw me; when I felt invisible. Even during the times I came home from school and felt like running off somewhere to die, somehow…you always knew. And you would be by my side, holding me, as I cried out all of my fears and frustrations to you. And whenever I had my heart broken by a boy for the first time, but had told no one about it…somehow you knew. And you were there to piece back and mend my aching heart. And when our parents died and I felt like the entire world had come crashing down around us? You stayed strong throughout it all so that you might lend me that same strength to help me get through each day on my own.
"Through every hardship and through every breakdown, you have been there always protecting me. Even when you were overseas and couldn't be by my side, you always sent me a letter letting me know you were ok and would return home soon to see my smiling face. And it was those letters that got me through each day. Even in those letters…I could feel your constant strength protecting me. You are always protecting me and catching me whenever I fall so that I don't hurt myself, but it's time to let me fall, brother. It's time to let me scratch my knee or feel a dull aching in my heart. It's time to let me stand on my own two feet and protect myself. So stop being angry with yourself for doing your best as my brother and trying to protect me from harm," I quietly explained to him, tears running down both our faces.
"Let me take this road alone. Let me stumble and fall. And let me stand back up on my own because we both know you won't always be there to catch me anymore. It's time to let your baby sister grow up and know that no matter what you do…I will always forgive you, my brother. You're all I have left and I couldn't stand the thought of losing my only brother just like you couldn't stand to lose me."
My brother pulled me to him in a strong embrace and cried into my shoulder just as I cried into his. If anyone were to walk in right now, they would see us both crying like babies in each other's arms on the kitchen floor. This was the first time I had ever cried with my brother since he hardly shed many tears throughout his life. He didn't even cry this much at our parents' funerals.
"You have to go after him, Aerolynn. He needs you now more than ever," Mason whispered into my ear with a small sniffle.
I nodded my head and pulled away to stand up on my feet. I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to head back to my bedroom to change. My brother caught my hand before I could turn.
We stared at each other for what felt like hours when he gently squeezed my hand. "Be careful out there…on your own."
I nodded with a small smile. "Always, brother."
He hesitantly released my hand allowing me to go change. I gave him one last smile before heading back to my room to change.
There was someone I needed to have a nice long chat with.

Chapter 3

One week later

I was home from the hospital finally, but unfortunately they refused to allow me to do anything except shower and change my own clothes. And by 'they' I mean Zak and Mason. Mason would keep an eye on me throughout the day and then switch out with Zak at night when Mason had to head over to work my shift at Luke's pizza place. For now, Zak had edited all the episodes and sent them into the TV station saying he was going to go on temporary hiatus from the show. The producers were ok with it since he had turned in everything for the next season. They just didn't want the break to last for an extended period of time.
Mason was just about to head out for work, we were just waiting on Zak to arrive.
"You know you can leave, Mason," I sighed as I sat on the couch watching him wear down a slight trail in the carpet from all his pacing. He glanced down at his watch for the thirtieth time in the past five minutes.
"No. I won't leave you here alone," he answered gruffly.
"I was shot by some emotionally unstable man who is now locked up in jail a couple towns over. I wasn't kidnapped nor did I try to commit suicide, so I don't need to be under constant surveillance."
Mason stopped in his tracks then and turned those chocolate brown eyes on me. "It's not that, Aerolynn. I don't think you fully comprehend the gravity of the situation. You acted rashly even after we warned you to back off because we had a handle on it. We don't need you doing something again, ripping open your stitches, and creating another problem. The guy nicked the edge of your lung for heaven's sake. You should be lucky he didn't pierce it. You're too headstrong and think you can do everything and anything on your own no matter if it could cause you possible harm. So, until your wound heals completely, and I will take your doctor's word for it not yours, then you will be under constant surveillance.
"We're not telling you that you can't always go out and do something as long as it poses no harm to possibly opening your wound back open. We don't need you bleeding out on us anytime soon. The fact that you died and the doctors were barely able to revive you is a big enough scare ok? I swear to God, if I had lost you that day…" Mason stopped and released a long slow breath. "Just don't scare me like that anymore, okay? I don't think I will be able to handle it. So next time when I arrive home, try to be a little less dramatic about you not wanting me to leave alright? Just say 'hey, Mason, stay for a little bit longer' instead of getting shot in the back by some emotionally unstable gunman, got me?" Mason chided staring me down with those serious brown eyes of his.
Seeing him be so dead serious about everything was new to me. I had seen him serious before, but nothing like this. I could tell I had really given him a fright when I had gotten shot. I hadn't meant for it to happen and he knew that, but he still slightly blamed me for acting brashly and turning my back to a gun.
I nodded in understanding. "Okay, Mason, I got you. But seriously, Zak will be here in a few minutes. I think you can trust me enough to leave me on my own for a few minutes," I reassured him. He glanced once more down at his watch and anxiously watched the door.
He let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine. I'm going to head to work to cover your shift, but I want you to have Zak call me as soon as he arrives, got it?"
I nodded. "Understood, now go. I'll relay your message to Zak."
Mason bent down and kissed me on the forehead. He headed for the door, but paused to look back at me before he left.
"Oh, and one more thing," he called back. I arched a brow in curiosity.
"Don't get all hot and heavy with Zak on the couch or any other area where I may have to possibly sit, eat, bathe, or, well, wherever I would be. So keep it exclusively in the bedroom, ok?"
I tossed a pillow at him. He caught it in midair and flung it back at me with a smile. I dodged the oncoming pillow and laughed.
"It's not like that with us right now," I admitted to him. Hell, I hadn't even said I love you to him yet even though he had said it to me. Actually, we hadn't even kissed since that night at the hospital. It worried me.
"Key words: right now. Anyways, have fun, but not too much fun. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Alright. Bye!" With that Mason left to head to work. So there I sat alone wondering what in the hell I was going to do until Zak decided to show. My eyes lifted up to look at the clock hanging on the wall above the flat screen TV. He was twenty minutes late. Where could he be?
****************************************************************************************
~~~~~~Zak's P.O.V~~~~~~

I approached the door to her apartment and took a glance at my watch. I was almost an hour late and she would probably be extremely angry with me once I went inside. I hadn't seen her brother's car downstairs which meant he must have left by some miracle. I don't think I could handle his anger although I should probably call him and let him know I had finally arrived although I was kind of scared to do so.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. I expected Aerolynn to either be on the couch watching television or in the kitchen whipping herself up something to eat, but I didn't see her anywhere. The lights were on and everything seemed to be ok…just no Aerolynn in sight.
Just then my phone went off.
"Hello?" I answered.
"You better fucking tell me that you are with my sister at this very moment," a demon named Mason growled in my ear. I gulped.
"Uh yeah, bro. I'm here. Have been for a while. I must have forgotten to call you," I nervously chuckled. How could a man that was younger than me frighten me to the very core of my being?
"Forgotten…sure. You better thank your still attached balls that my sister likes you otherwise you'd be in the hospital right now getting a certain appendage taken care of."
Mason hung up. A chill ran down my spine at the not so subtle threat. Her brother could be one scary man when it came to the care of his little sister. I slipped the phone back into my pocket and closed the door behind me. Where was she?
"Aerolynn?" I called out.
"Zak?" I heard her voice call from the bedroom. I saw her head poke out of her bedroom, a large smile on her face.
"Zak!" She darted down the hallway and flung herself into my arms.
I laughed and twirled her around. "Hey, is everything ok?"
"Yeah fine," she smiled. "Oh! You need to call my brother," she reported.
"Uh, yeah, I already did." I wasn't going to mention he actually called me first and threatened to rip off a certain important part of my body.
"Oh, great! So, uh, why are you so late?"
At that question, a wide smile split my face. I raked my gaze over her body and observed her clothing. She was wearing pajama bottoms and a tank top.
"You're gonna have to change," I tsked at her shaking my head.
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Why?"
"Because…I'm taking you somewhere. Now go change into something comfortable and warm," I demanded.
"Yes sir!" she giggled running back to her room. I rubbed my hands together and released a deep breath.
I really hoped she would like what I had planned for her.

Chapter 8

******Zak's P.O.V******

After my episode, Aerolynn and I had gone back to bed where we made love once more. Only instead of it being fast and intense, it was slow and passionate. Long and endless. I had to fight back the urge to cry as I realized this would be the last time we made love before I left her. There was just no way I could stay after what had just occurred. She may be able to forgive me, but I could not forgive myself quite so easily. I held her tightly to my chest as I watched her fall into a deep slumber.
Once I was positive she was fully asleep, I hesitantly unwrapped my arms from around her soft, warm body. Even when she was asleep, Aerolynn radiated life. That was I wanted to keep seeing. That brilliant glow of life shining from her. Not the dull, cold feel of her skin from where Death had ripped it from her. The way I almost had. I couldn't bear to see that look of fear shining in her eyes again. I just couldn't.
I stood up from the bed and began searching in the dark for my clothes. I slid each item on my body still in search for my shoes before realizing I had kicked them off out in the living room from when we had first come in. I raked a hand back through my disheveled hair making sure my keys and phone were safely tucked inside my pocket. Then I quietly scanned the room making sure I had left nothing else behind. I didn't want there to be a trace of me when she woke up. Her heart would be broken enough knowing that I had left in the middle of the night, but that's ok. I would rather her broken heart be beating than have it broken and still.
I shuffled over to the bed and gazed down at her sleeping form. The pale rays of moonlight shone in through her bedroom windows between her curtains to cast her face in its delicate light. She was so beautiful. It made my heart ache even more to know that I would be letting her down once again by leaving her for a second time. I hadn't planned on leaving her again, but this whole thing had gotten out of control. I thought I could keep a better grip on the darkness, but I was wrong. I needed to get away as quickly as possible.
I reached out a hand to brush back the stray hairs from her face, but stopped myself within centimeters of her cheek. What if my touch woke her up? Or she turned over in the bed to search for my body and, not finding anything, it would jolt her awake? I couldn't have that because if she saw me like this…she would never allow me to leave. Not again. Especially not after tonight.
My fingers curled into my palm as I drew my hand slowly away from her face. I just couldn't take the chance. I gazed down at her for a moment longer before unlocking the door and quietly slipping out into the dark hallway closing the door behind me. Unfortunately for me, the light was on in the kitchen and I could hear the faintest sound of the television on coming from the living room. I sighed hoping that I wouldn't have had to deal with him, but it looked like I was going to have to. If he thought the worst of me? Then fine. I could live with that.
As I slowly made my way down the short hallway, I saw my shoes sitting beside one another next to the door. Aerolynn's clothes were sitting neatly folded on the kitchen bar. First, my gaze traveled to the left to see if Mason was sitting (or sleeping) on the couch with the television on. Nope. So my gaze switched to the right where I saw him leaning against the counter beside the fridge. His arms were folded menacingly across his chest; his dark brown eyes cast downward at the floor. I took a deep breath and approached him.
For a long time his eyes stayed glued to the floor making the entire atmosphere between us grow uncomfortable. But then he finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. I flinched back at the undeniable rage I saw burning deep within the young man's eyes. He was definitely not a happy brother right now.
"So, now that you have officially fucked my sister," he spat, "it's time for you to leave and get back to your glorious famous lifestyle?"
Good. He was thinking the worst. I could handle this. I tilted my chin back a bit and held my head high in confidence.
"A guy like me doesn't settle down with one woman. We come, we explore places and people, and then we leave. It's just how we do things. Your sister just happened to be one of the many people I explored," I replied with a false cocky attitude.
I braced myself waiting for her military brother to lunge himself at me and tackle me to the ground to beat my face in, but he didn't budge. Instead he just continued to stare at me in complete silence. The fact that he wasn't doing anything made me even more nervous than if he had acted out. That's when I saw the strangest thing. The anger that had been burning in his eyes…it slowly faded into sadness and sympathy.
He must have seen my brows furrowed in confusion because he sighed.
"There's no need to lie and pretend you're a jerk, Zak. I already have an idea as to why you're REALLY leaving," he explained.
I cocked a brow in curiosity folding my arms across my chest. I had to keep playing the cocky attitude. I couldn't back down. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, actually, I do. Nick told me all about your little demon. He told me about that darkness thing or whatever you had growing inside of you."
My eyes widened in surprise. He knew about that?
"Yeah, I know about it," Mason eerily answered the question in my mind. "Don't look all surprised. Did you really think I would let my sister date a celebrity without doing a little bit of digging into his personal background? You can't always take the word of the internet, you know. I figured Nick would be the best to ask since he's been with you since the very beginning."
"I…I…" I stuttered unsure of what to say to that revelation.
"You what? Didn't think I would understand your situation? That I would throw a few punches out of anger and resentment towards you leaving my sister in the middle of the night after having fucked her?" Mason said.
I nodded. Before I knew what was happening, a fist met the side of my face with a solid crack. I stumbled sideways a bit before catching my balance. I clutched the side of my face as it throbbed with immense pain. Mason shook his hand a couple times before shoving both hands deep into his front pockets.
"What the hell man?" I snapped.
"I gave you what you were expecting. Don't tell me that punch came as a surprise to you?" Mason's lips twisted into a devilish grin of amusement.
I stretched my mouth open wide and rotated it in hopes of diminishing some of the pain his punch had inflicted upon my jaw.
"It doesn't, but I expected it sooner," I admitted.
"Oh you mean after the dick comment you made about exploring my sister?" Mason asked. I nodded.
The man shrugged his broad shoulders. "Too predictable."
"So you understand why I have to leave like this?" I inquired getting back to the more important topic at hand.
Mason shook his head. "Nah, man, not completely. I understand a part of the reason why, but my main concern is my sister. Do you understand what will happen to her when she finds out you left her again?" he asked with apprehension.
I nodded, releasing a sad sigh. "Yeah, I do. She'll be thoroughly heart broken."
Mason gave me an odd look before bursting with laughter. "Wow, man, you're funny. You think she will go all melodramatic teenager and hole herself up in her room to cry out her eyes and whine about how she won't be able to survive without you by her side?" He asked with a raised brow.
"Um, maybe?" I answered cautiously.
Mason's brows bunched together as he gave me a questioning look. "Do you even KNOW my sister at all? Have you not been paying attention?"
I merely stared at the man. DID I know his sister? I was pretty damn sure I did, but thinking back on it…I hadn't really discovered much about her except a little bit of her family life. And then there was the vague moment back at the MacMiller house where she had mentioned the ghost thing happening to her again. What had she meant by that?
Mason let out a disappointed sigh. "Let me ask you a simpler question: did she go all melodramatic like that when you left her the FIRST time?"
"No, I don't believe she did."
"Alright, so we're getting somewhere. Look, the point is, my sister isn't that type of person. Yeah, ok, she'll cry for a bit. Maybe even punch some things, namely me, but she'll get over it and instead get angry. And then it's YOUR ass that's in trouble because this time? This time she will hunt you down and find you for herself instead of waiting on that SLIGHT chance that you might return to her. This time she will come to you, only it won't be a happy reunion like it was a couple weeks ago. Well, before she got shot anyways," her brother tacked on.
I gulped looking away from those honest brown eyes. He was right. She would track me down. Then that just meant I would have to hide somewhere in a place that not even she or her brother could locate me.
My smoky blue gaze lifted to clash eyes with him. "Then I will deal with that if and when the time comes, but I have to leave. It's for her safety," I told him.
Mason stood there keeping his eyes locked with mine. I knew he was searching my eyes for more of an answer to the plethora of questions I'm sure he held in his mind, but there was none I was willing to give him. All he needed to know was that I had to leave this way because otherwise I wouldn't be allowed to go.
"You know why I have to leave this way," I quietly stated.
"I know. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it or like it. In the end, you're still breaking my little sister's heart and that is something I cannot forgive," he replied.
I nodded in understanding. "And putting her in harm's way because of this thing inside me? That is something I myself cannot forgive," I answered back.
Mason nodded and slid his gaze over to the hallway where, I presumed, he was looking at Aerolynn's closed bedroom door. Beyond that door, the woman I so desperately loved lie peacefully sleeping still surrounded by the warmth and comfort of her dreams. My heart twisted from the unbearable agony at knowing that when she awoke to find herself alone in that large bed…all of her dreams from the night before would be shattered.
Mason and I met eyes. A silent understanding passed between us. He would lie for my sake telling her I had left for selfish reasons. We both knew that if she knew the real reason I had left, then nothing would stop her from chasing after me. Neither one of us wanted Aerolynn to get hurt again. And by telling her that I had never truly loved her and that it was all a ruse to get into her pants? Then maybe, just maybe, she would hate me enough to not want to search for me. Maybe she would move on with her life and settle down with Luke. Maybe. So many maybes, but that was all we could hope on.
I turned away and bent down by the door to pick up my shoes. As I leaned against the door to put them on, Mason approached me.
"There's just one more thing," he said quietly. I finished tying my shoe and stood to my full height, meeting him eye for eye.
"Don't even think about coming back because if my sister hasn't already tried killing you by that time? I'll do it myself," Mason growled.
"Is that a threat?" I chuckled nervously with a raised brow.
A malicious grin spread across the young man's handsome face contorting it into something almost demonic.
"No. That's a promise. Now leave before I become not so understanding and instead kill you right here mercilessly."
I didn't even bother commenting. I merely opened the door and slipped out. Mason quietly shut the door behind me. The click of the lock was all too audible in the deafening silence of the apartment building. I trotted down the stairs and over to my car. I all but fell into the driver's seat as a sudden wave of fear and misery washed over me. I gripped the steering wheel tightly in my hands as I slammed my forehead against it. I slammed it against the steering wheel once more before just resting it upon my folded arms. Hot tears spilled forth from my eyes; my nose began to grow stuffy.
I didn't want to have to leave Aerolynn so soon after having finally gotten her back. I didn't want for her brother to hate me the way he did now. But most of all, I didn't want the darkness to kill his sister, my beloved, by my own hands. A yell of pure agony burst forth from my chest and tore its way out of my esophagus. Things would have just been better had I never gotten my fortune read. Then we wouldn't be in this mess. We should have never taken the case here. We should have never allowed the radio to announce a contest to investigate with us. So many things we should have never done especially me.
I laid my head back against the seat and closed my eyes as a single last thought was brought to the forefront of my mind. Whether it was by my own subconscious or whether it was the work of the darkness inside of me, I wasn't sure.
I wish I had never met Aerolynn.

Chapter 6

We had arrived back at the apartment in a little under twenty minutes. Zak had barely put the car in park and turned off the engine when he was suddenly by my door opening it for me. I gazed up at him underneath my lashes. The pale rays of the moon shone down on his back casting the front of him in shadow.
He reached out a hand waiting for me to grasp it with my smaller one. My heart raced; my palms shone with a light sheen of sweat. How had it come to this? How had we gotten here? I mean…this was Zak Bagans we were talking about. Not some everyday person from my hometown. This was ZAK. BAGANS.
I took a deep breath and grasped his hand in mine. I couldn't help but worry about his reaction to holding my sweaty palm in his, but all he did was gently tug me out of the car and close the door shut behind me. Before I could move forward, Zak pushed me up against the car door pressing his body close to mine. I could feel the heat of his body radiating off him in waves and soaking into my own warm skin. He brushed his hand down my cheek with a smile. That one little crooked smile made my legs turn to jello beneath me. If Zak hadn't had me pinned against the car I would be collapsed on the ground at the moment.
He gently cupped my face. "Your face is hot," he stated with a knowing smile.
"Well, you had the heater blasting at my face the entire car ride home. It's no wonder I didn't collapse from heatstroke," I retorted with half the sassiness most of my comebacks came with.
"Then allow me to carry you," he suggested. Before I could so much as reject or accept his offer, Zak swooped me up in his arms and held me tightly against his chest.
"There. Now you won't have to worry about your legs giving out from…heatstroke," he said with a sly smile playing along with my lie.
He took the stairs two at a time and reached the top in half the time it would normally take for me to climb the stairs. Zak glanced down at me with a raised eyebrow. It was then that I realized during our ascent, I had wrapped my arms tightly around his neck clinging to him in fear he might trip and fall.
"Thanks for the lift," I half chuckled. "You can set me down now."
The deep chuckle rumbled against my side and made me look up. The heat in his gaze made me weak with anticipation. Desire, hot and strong, was there plain as the nose on his face. He strode towards my apartment door and easily maneuvered his hold on me to swing open the door only to kick it closed behind us when we entered. My heart stumbled in my breast as he spun around and let my legs slide free, but kept his arms vised around me, crushing me between the hard, hot, muscled length of him and the cool wood door.
I moaned his name, and he pinned his hips to mine, holding me like a butterfly against a swath of black velvet. The image shifted to one of pure pleasure as he lowered his lips to my ear and rasped, "I want to take my time with you, Aerolynn Richards, but I don't have the strength to wait that long."
His lips teased the edge of my ear as he nibbled a path down the tendon in my throat. Warmth swept up from my toes, as desire began to build.
"Let me have you now, Aerolynn," he begged. "We can go slow later."
Bereft of words, overwhelmed by need for this man, I tilted my head back and tightened my arms around his neck. Sliding the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip, I bit it and had the satisfaction of watching his eyes glaze over. I needed to torture him as much as watching him and wanting him had tortured me.
His lips took mine in a ravenous kiss; using teeth, tongue, and lips, he drove every thought from my head but one. Now.
He came up for air before diving down to sample the deep V of skin above my red shirt, licking and nipping the skin until the heat from his mouth seared a path from the depths of my cleavage to the base of my ear.
"Zak!"
He reared back, nostrils flaring, mouth in a firm straight line. Unsure what he waited for, trying to ignore the way my heart opened to him, ready to let him in, but afraid if I did he'd leave again, I murmured, "Please?"
His grin was quick, but lethal. "Yes, ma'am."
His mouth fused to mine as his hands got busy unzipping my vest before gripping the ends of my shirt and tugging it off over my head. He unclasped my bra and slowly began slipping the straps off my shoulders and easing it off of me to fall to the floor with my top and vest. His groan of pleasure sprinted through me as he filled his hands with my breasts, teasing them into hard, pointed peaks as his head lowered to sup from their bounty.
"I can't—" Breathe. See. Stand. Pick one; all I could do was feel. Zak was igniting flames of desire in so many places at once my brain couldn't keep up.
My breasts ached and my lips tingled… and then he found the lacy thong I'd put on earlier with him in mind. Why in the world I had decided to wear such a thing with as cold as it was outside, I had no clue. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this was how the night was going to end.
Naked. I'm not sure how he'd managed it so quickly, but I'd lost my top, my lacy thong…even my mind.
"Now," I demanded, pulling him closer. "I want you naked…NOW."
In a whirlwind of passion and his clothes being torn off in the mix, Zak and I finally made our way to my bedroom with my brother's words echoing vaguely in my ear about keeping it in my room. We fell back onto my bed, lips fused together along with our arms and legs tangled with one another's.
Zak lifted his head; his lips were bruised and wet from our passionate kissing.
"I just want you to know I love you. That I didn't only say that to get to this point," he murmured brushing his lips across my collarbone. Shivers raced down my spinal cord.
"I know," I breathed wrapping my arms loosely around his neck.
"I would have waited for however long it took to convince you that I want no one else, but you," he continued talking.
"Zak?" I sighed.
"Hmm?"
"Just shut up and make love to me."
Our lips fused together once more in a slow, heated kiss. His hands traveled from my breasts down to the curves of my hips. He gently spread my thighs apart and positioned himself between them.
That night we both lost ourselves in a sea of burning desire not entirely sure we would come out alive later that day.

Chapter 4

I stared down at the little slip of paper in my hand for what felt like eternity. What was this supposed to be? What in the hell was it supposed to MEAN? I didn't quite understand. It felt like a flirtatious note saying I was his soul mate, but if that were the case….why was my body trembling with slight fear?
"What's that?" Natalie suddenly asked in my ear snatching the paper from my hands.
I jumped, startled, at the sudden sound of her voice.
"Don't do that!" I snapped trying to calm my rapid heartbeat.
"Do what? Be a ninja? It's not my fault you're deaf and didn't hear me say your name. TWICE," she shrugged nonchalantly. Her eyes scanned back and forth over the short poem written on the paper. She quirked a dark blonde brow once she finished reading the paper.
"What is this supposed to be? Some sort of cutesy pickup line?" she scoffed. Tossing the paper back at me.
I reached out and caught it while it floated in the air. I folded it back up and placed it back inside the locket. He wanted me to wear this necklace and that gaudy bracelet tomorrow at our date? The necklace, maybe, but the bracelet? I was not wearing that on a date. He could just get over it.
I shook my head at Natalie's questions. "I'm not sure. He said he bought them for me. Like he had known I was going to be here."
"Whoa….stalker much?" She said as we began walking towards Barnes & Noble.
"I don't know. Possibly. But if that is the case, I don't know whether to be flattered that a man such as himself is stalking me or creeped out because, well, he's stalking me," I answered with a slight shiver.
"So what did you two talk about?"
"We're going on a date tomorrow at eight. We're meeting at Olive Garden," I sighed.
"You don't sound very pleased by this fact," she chuckled.
"It's not that…it's just…what am I going to wear?" I whined. Natalie slid me a dull glare.
"THAT'S what you're worried about?" she sighed shaking her head.
I nodded. "Yes, it is. Should I be concerned about something else?" I huffed.
"Let's begin with the first bullet shall we? You just met this guy yesterday for a whole five minutes. Didn't learn a damn thing about him. Not even his name. Moving on to bullet point number two," she said now holding up two fingers like a peace sign. "You STILL haven't learned anything about him—"
"Not true! I learned his name," I interrupted.
"—except for the fact that he is a possible stalker," she continued on ignoring my outburst. "But that's ok because if he is that's what I have mace in my purse for. Lastly, bullet point number three…what in the fuck is that poem? I mean seriously? Worst poem to seduce a woman EVER. He may look pretty and suave, but when it comes to the imagination and use of words, well, let's admit it. He has absolutely no creativity," she pointed out.
"Let's also not forget the fact that the poem or whatever it is he wrote you," she added on after a momentary pause, "is really fucking creepy. 'Say no more prayers, your screams are for not'? I'm thinking you have a stalker slash kidnapper on your hands there, Leighra. It kind of makes him sound like he's…I don't know…a demon. 'I have you ensnared, the soul I have sought'? Yeah. Total Satan right there," she chuckled.
"So what's his name?" she asked.
"Luc," I answered quietly. My mind was reeling from the conversation he and I had just had. Not only that, but Natalie had a point about the little poem. It was pretty creepy and kidnapper sounding. Was he really stalking me?
"Luke?" she repeated.
I nodded. "Yeah, something like that."
Natalie laughed making a few passers-by turn to stare at her. She shot them a glare.
"Well, that makes what I said even better," she smiled.
"What do you mean?" I asked not following her train of thought.
"I mentioned that the poem made him sound like he was a demon. Like he was Satan. And then you tell me his name is Luke? If you think about it, Luke could be short for Lucifer," she pointed out.
"But then wouldn't it sound more like loose?" I questioned as we reached B&N.
Natalie narrowed her eyes in thought before shrugging. "Not necessarily. Plus that sounds like it would be short for Lucy, but who knows? Maybe he likes stuff like that."
"Maybe," I mumbled as we stepped inside the store.
"Anyways, once we get home will you help me find something to wear for tomorrow?" I asked.
Natalie turned back to look at me. "Do I LOOK like your mother?" she retorted.
"No, but you look like somebody who is willing to help me out in my desperate time of need just in case he happens to have a super gorgeous brother or twin who is single," I sang song.
Natalie narrowed her eyes at me. "Only this ONCE," she snapped.
A grin broke out over my face as she stomped off like she was mad. I shook my head knowing exactly how she was feeling. She wasn't as annoyed about helping me as she made it look. If anything, she's finally happy to be able to take over my choice of clothing for once since she complains about my style half the time anyways saying that it never matches or whatnot. Like I care.
I opened up my hand and ran my thumb along the cool, metal locket.
Why could I not shake this feeling that I was about to get into something way deeper than I signed up for?
****************************************************************************************

The next night
6:43 PM

"There, all done," Natalie smiled with satisfaction as she stood up straight after doing my hair. It took all I had in me (and my wallet) to convince her to do my hair so I didn't have to spend a ridiculous amount of time myself trying to be a perfectionist with it.
"I'm not helping you anymore. You're on your own now to get dressed," she huffed turning to leave my room.
"Wait, Natalie!" I called out. She stopped in the doorway and glanced back at me over her shoulder.
"Um…thanks. For doing my hair and, you know, helping me choose a decent outfit," I thanked her.
She cocked a single brow at me. "At least I know he won't think you dressed yourself in the dark for this date. That's all the thanks I need," she answered leaving the room.
I smiled. Typical Natalie. Brushing aside any thanks, or kindness at all, she gets from me.
I leaned forward and checked out my hair. It wasn't anything overly special or fancy. My dark, curly hair had been pulled back into a high ponytail with a few chunks of my hair wrapped around the hair tie and pinned into place. She had made sure a few tendrils of hair had been left out so they could frame my round face and accentuate my delicate facial structure. Then she had squirted some mousse into her hand and applied it to my ponytail to make the curls even bouncier and shinier. Natalie had then promptly sprayed glitter hairspray in my hair to make it sparkle. Even though I had vehemently opposed it.
Overall, it looked good. Something I probably never would have been able to do.
I sighed and stood up from my vanity stool to close the door and walk over to my bed where we had laid out my outfit for the night. Even though Luc had said to dress seductively (whatever he meant by that), Natalie and I had both agreed upon dressing sensible, yet sexy, instead considering we would be eating at Olive Garden. I quickly took off my work clothes, careful not to ruin my hair or else Natalie would kill me. I slipped my legs into my low rider, dark blue jeans and slipped my sleek black belt through the loops to buckle it in place around my hips. Then I wiggled my way into my black off the shoulder top that left both my shoulders exposed and hugged my body like a second skin. I sat on the edge of my bed and clad my feet with my black Montclair studded strappy heels.
I once more stood up and checked myself out in the full length mirror hanging on the back of my bedroom door. I appeared tall and slim. The heels made my legs look longer than they actually were and I was completely ok with that. The only thing that concerned me a bit was the inch and a half slice of sunkissed skin that was exposed starting from the bottom of my top and ending at the top of my low rider jeans. I shrugged and remembered how Luc said he wanted me to dress seductively. Well, I hope he was happy with that. Satisfied with my appearance, I headed back to my vanity and lined my honey brown eyes with eyeliner. I applied a nude color of eyeshadow to my eyelids then glossed my lips with a clear color to give them a plump, shiny appearance. I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I kept telling myself over and over that I was ready for this date, but the longer I sat there staring at myself the more self-conscious I became over everything.
Just then Natalie knocked making me pull myself out of my dark thoughts.
"Come in," I called out. Natalie swung the door open and leaned against the doorjamb nodding.
"Not too bad," she complimented. "Just make sure to not forget the locket."
I thanked her for reminding me and fastened it around my neck.
"So…are you ready? It's about 7:30," she informed me.
I nodded and took a deep calming breath. "I think I'm ready."
Natalie stretched out her hand and dangled the car keys from her finger.
"Tell me how it goes."
I stood up and strode over to her to take the keys from her hand. Before I could pull them away, her grip tightened around them. I met her stormy blue eyes.
"And so help me, if you get even one small scratch on my car from your psychotic driving, I will rip out your heart and feed it to my dogs. Got it?" she threatened.
I smiled down at her. It felt weird being taller than her now that I was in heels. "Awh, how sweet," I cooed. "You think I have a heart."
Natalie scoffed. "I only said that for threatening purposes. I'm still not convinced you have one. I believe you only live and breathe because of the innocent souls you feed upon to keep you halfway functioning."
"I promise," I assured her referring back to her threat about the car.
Her eyes narrowed into dark blue slits. "Good."
I still was unable to shake the growing unease that had settled in the pit of my stomach. Was I making the wrong choice by agreeing to this date?
I would find out soon enough.

Chapter 2

"Get up," my roommate said kicking my legs. I groaned and burrowed my head deeper into the pillow refusing to be pulled out of my dreams.
"I will get a bucket of water. Don't doubt me," Natalie warned. My eyes snapped open and I slid my gaze up to look at her.
"You wouldn't," I growled.
"Don't test me. Now get up. Go sleep in your bed," she said walking away.
"But the couch is so comfy," I whined.
"It's one in the afternoon. Just because you're off today doesn't mean you can spend it sleeping the entire day," Natalie said in a chastising tone. I made a face at her behind her back.
I sat up on the couch and stretched my arms high above my head until I heard the satisfying crack of my lower back popping.
"Ah," I sighed in relief. There is no greater feeling then popping your back. Well…there is, but you get my point. It feels really good.
"Alright, you got me up. Now what are we doing?" I inquired as I stood up and headed for the kitchen where Natalie was pouring herself a glass of orange juice.
She screwed the lid back on the container and gave me a blank stare.
"How in the hell am I supposed to know? I just wanted you to move off the couch so I could sit down and watch some television," she simply replied.
I narrowed my eyes. "I seriously hate you sometimes."
She opened the fridge and placed the orange juice back on the shelf. Closing the door, she turned back to me.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?"
"Nothing at all," I sneered.
"So the speed dating thing was a bust," she said taking a sip of her orange juice.
I sighed, raking a hand back through my dark, curly locks. My fingers got entangled in my hair making me wince slightly from the unexpected pain. I pulled my fingers free and met her stormy blue eyes that were filled with amusement. A smile twitched at the edges of her lips.
"Shut up," I snapped. "And yes it was. No thanks to you."
"I am offended," she said with absolutely no emotion. She took another drink of her orange juice.
"But it wasn't a complete bust," she tacked on as she rested her elbows on the kitchen bar that separated the living room from the kitchen.
I cocked a dark brow in curiosity. "What do you mean?"
She sighed. "Play smart instead of stupid for once. I'm talking about that major hottie with the accent that sat down at your table at the end of the night. Or have you gone completely insane?"
"No…I just…forgot," I lied. In actuality I hadn't been able to STOP thinking about him.
Natalie rolled her eyes at my obvious lie. "Whatever. Do you think you will see him again like he said you guys probably would?" she inquired before finishing the rest of her juice.
I shrugged. "I don't know…I kind of do want to see him, but at the same time I don't."
"Why not?"
"Because can you imagine going out with a guy like that? I would feel insecure the entire time when I was around him. I would constantly be wondering if my hair looked ok or if I had something stuck in my teeth or some other girlish thought like that," I sighed.
She nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I'd be self-conscious, too, but look at it this way: if you were to go out with a guy like that…imagine all the envious girls, you know? They'd be wondering why a guy like him was with you."
I narrowed my eyes at her backwards compliment. "That doesn't exactly help the situation, Natalie."
She shrugged. "I'm not here to help you with your relationship and insecurity problems. I'm just here to split half of the rent so I don't have to live in a dorm and bathe in those disgusting, hair filled showers," she said with a shudder.
I shuddered as well remembering all the hair I would find clumped up by the drain. Utterly disgusting.
"So we still haven't answered the question as to what we are doing today," I reminded her.
Natalie slid the hair tie out of her blonde hair to let it hang loose around her shoulders. She ruffled her hair out a little bit before tucking it behind her ears.
"Then allow me to suggest something very cliché," she said. "Let's go to the mall!" Natalie mocked in a high pitched voice as she clapped her hands together.
"Um, wouldn't the cliché line be 'let's have a slumber party'?"
Her eyes narrowed into dark blue slits. "We're not 12. Vice versa the numbers and then you have our age. Our clichéd line is 'let's go to the mall!' or 'let's throw a party!'" she explained.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my keys off the kitchen bar from where I had tossed them the night before after we had gotten home from speed dating.
I turned to walk away and head for the door. When I swung it open, I noticed Natalie wasn't behind me. She was still standing at the bar.
"Come on," I urged.
"If you think I'm letting you drive again, you're crazy," she replied shaking her head.
"What's wrong with my driving?"
"Last night you ran two red lights, drove 60 in a 35 zone, nearly wrecked into a ditch when you "drifted" around the sharp corner, and about backed into a parked car when we arrived home. Need I go on?" she ticked off each violation on her finger.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you drive," I conceded with a grumble. Natalie smiled in triumph and quickly approached me. She snatched the keys out of my fingers with a wide grin.
"Alright, let's head to the mall!"
"Just so you know," I said as I locked and shut the door. "If this car was a black '67 Chevy Impala, the only way you'd be driving is if you pried the keys from my dead, cold fingers."
"But I thought you had already died inside a long time ago?" Natalie retorted as we made our way down the steps of our apartment building.
"Irrelevant," I said using the line she always used on me.
She glared at me from the corner of her eye.
"That's my line."
"You act like I give a damn."
She sighed. "Let's just go to the mall before one of us ends up killing the other."
"Fine by me."
"Maybe we'll see him again," she teased as we approached her baby blue 2006 Honda Accent.
I rolled my eyes and opened the passenger side door.
"If only our luck loved us that much. We, unfortunately, have the luck of Dean Winchester that somehow always winds up in Hell, figuratively and literally."