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I love to ride in the rain,
On my bicycle with greasy chain,
It's a feeling I cannot explain,
Ride on my bike in the rain.

Though the rain floods the street,
The muddy roads are not very neat.
Again, there is the wind to defeat,
It can also cram my feet.
Yet the rain is quite a treat,
It is better than the scorching heat.

The rain cools me down,
Though, I may look like a clown,
It doesn't bring me down,
Cause I love to be the rain soaked clown.

It is like a toiling break,
Often makes me shiver and shake,
Sometimes my health is at stake,
Yet I love to take this break.

I ride on my bike in the rain,
You may think, I am insane,  
It is a feeling I cannot explain,
The joy of riding in the rain.
Well I used to ride a bicycle almost everywhere I went. Previous Friday it was stolen. Today it was raining and I miss my bike a lot. I really love to ride in rain.
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"What are you trying to figure out?" Garrus asked as he saw the look of concentration on Shepard's face. He'd seen it all too often on the battlefield, but rarely when they were just talking.

"How did you...?" She asked before smiling and shaking her head. "It's nothing... just wondering something..." She trailed off, returning to her drink. He followed her gaze to find that she had been looking at the turian and quarian couple who were still at the bar, just as they were.

"What?" He asked and she sighed, still smiling and shaking her head.

"Doesn't matter..." She muttered and he nudged her shoulder with his own.

"Come on." He said and she sighed.

"I was just... wondering about them again..." She admitted and Garrus raised a brow plate.

"Wasn't the point of this to get your mind off romance?" He asked and she sighed.

"I guess... I was just... Never mind." She said, shaking her head again.

"Okay, now I'm officially curious." He said and she downed her drink before continuing.

"I was just wondering why he doesn't just kiss her and get it over with. I mean, I get that he can't say it. Maybe he's just bad with words. But then why not just kiss her?" She said and he raised a brow plate in response.

"She's wearing a mask." He pointed out and Shepard shrugged.

"You know what I mean. Although, I guess turians don't kiss anyway because of the whole no lips thing." She said and he nodded. "What do you guys do if you don't kiss?" She asked, frowning and he sighed.

"We sort of... bump heads." He explained and Shepard had to stifle a laugh.

"Oh my god, that's adorable." She said, grinning and he growled a little.

"It's not adorable, it's..." He started but she shook her head, still grinning.

"You are so easy to wind up when you're drunk." She said and he frowned.

"I am not drunk." He said and she smiled.

"Riiiight." She joked and he frowned for a moment before sighing.

"So you really think that he should just kiss her?" He asked and Shepard nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, he could do the forehead bump thing even with the mask. So, why not?" She asked and he raised a brow plate again.

"Because there's still the same problem." He said and Shepard shook her head.

"I've already told you that there isn't a problem. If he kissed her then she would kiss him back. Or the quarian equivalent or whatever..." She said and Garrus laughed a little.

"You are so optimistic." He told her and she shrugged.

"Maybe. But I'm sure that it would happen." She said and he frowned.

"But then what? I mean, he might hurt her. His talons could... cause a suit rupture or something. Maybe he just doesn't want to risk hurting her." He said and Shepard snorted.

"I think that it's up to her to make that decision." She told him. "Maybe she upgraded her suit. Maybe it could withstand it." She told him and he shook his head.

"It still might happen. I don't think he would ever risk hurting her." He said and Shepard shook her head.

"Then he's an idiot. Maybe she doesn't care. He doesn't know. She might think it's worth it." She countered and Garrus sighed.

"What if he doesn't?" He asked and she snorted again.

"Bullshit." She said and he raised a brow plate at her again.

"How so?" He asked and she rolled her eyes.

"It's just another bullshit excuse so that he doesn't have to tell her how he feels." She said and he sighed.

"Yeah, maybe." He said before they lapsed into silence again. "You really think she wouldn't care?" He asked finally and Shepard nodded.

"I can guarantee it."
Okay so this was meant to be a one-shot but they just kept talking in-one-long-incredibly-unbroken-sentence-moving-from-topic-to-topic-so-that-no-one-had-the-chance-to-interrupt-it-was-really-quite-hypnotic...

Sorry, I couldn't resist the Picard quote. :P

Point is they wouldn't shut up so here's some more of Shepard and Garrus being the biggest idiots this side of the galaxy...

Part One - [link]
Part Two - READING
Part Three - [link]

And then I made a comic a well:
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The moon and the stars
Are extremely lovely, but
You are much brighter
Haiku #1 for a new project I'm doing, haiku every day.
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If Death comes tonight
For me, for you, for us all
Why try to stop it?
haiku #3 of my haiku-a-day project
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Enter Me

Enter me at your own risk
While I slide my fingers over your disk
I'll kiss slowly down your neck
As you give my shoulders a peck
Just remember there is no way back
Enter me slowly as our bodies smack
Do not stop but go, go, go  as you fingers move down low
For if you move real fast, I will move real slow
Enter me now if you wish
For I will eat off you like a dish
For Vin :heart:
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Wings flap, desperate
Try to escape this world, they
flail frantically
haiku # two in my haiku every day project.
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You remember the My Little Pony from the eighties, don't you? Even if you didn't grow up with it, you most likely know of its existence. Those pudgy plastic collectable figures and the nostalgically bad kid's TV show to accompany them were very much a product of the times, embodying the consumer Zeitgeist of the period. And now we look back on their evanescence with misty eyes, firmly believing that they deserved the 'young-girl' tag that went with the product.

It must largely be the visual appeal of the 2010 re-boot of the franchise, "Friendship is Magic", that has made a whole group of older individuals into fans. Those old, chubby ponies are now slender, beautifully animated characters with big, jewel-like eyes. And we must focus on the visual superiority of these ponies, and the popularity of "Friendship is Magic" with an older demographic, in order to understand why there has been such an influx in pornographic content regarding these equines.

Undoubtedly there was My Little Pony porn before the latest iteration of the show, although it would have been fairly niche and obscure, and most likely drawn with a degree of humour in mind. But when it comes to "Friendship is Magic", an entire counter-culture within the brony community has amassed with the intention of distributing pornographic material. And while no fandom is free of its porn, the relative acceptance of the smutty side of the community by others within it is difficult to stomach.

Naturally, bronies tend to be of an older demographic, and so many of them are in professional fields already. Some of these professionals – musicians; writers; artists – gel nicely with the fandom that the show has garnered and contribute to it in a productive way. And yet, on the flip-side, while many bronies are trying to sway media attention away from negative stereotypes to deeming the bronies as a respectable community, a fair portion are tarnishing this bold move through the active creation of erotica.

The major explanation for this abnormal behaviour is likely a lack of decent sexual stimulation in the real world. In an independent survey conducted on one-hundred bronies between the ages of 16-19 who regard themselves as 'cloppers' or 'clop-artists', only three mentioned that they were in a relationship at the time that the study was taken; eighty-four had never been in a relationship before. And it is fair to assume that the sexual repression that comes from being attracted to the idea of masturbating over a cartoon pony is a sign that the individuals who engage in this sort of behaviour are, by and large, doing so because they aren't receiving sexual release in another, more natural form.

While it's a bold move to imply that people who are 'into' pony-porn are generally your typical basement-dwelling introverts, it's difficult to construct a stable argument in support of "Friendship is Magic" porn. 'Creative freedom', may be used, or the excuse that 'other fandoms do it as well'. Both are certainly points that could be argued with a degree of credibility, but retorts such as, 'it's effectively bestiality'; 'it's abnormal, deviant behaviour' and 'just because other fandoms do it doesn't make it right' sound more informed and reasonable.

It's no great surprise that My Little Pony is intended for little girls. Therefore, to attach the sexual implications to the show that many pony-erotica miscreants do is to detract from the common values of the product. Hasbro, the company behind the My Little Pony brand, clearly do not wish for porn to be made of their product; recent take-downs of a certain plush toy prove that they view such content as damaging to their intellectual property. And, of course, this is entirely reasonable of them to suggest: having pornographic content made of their product, which is marketed towards children, potentially risks damaging their company name and puts them in a unfortunate position.

It's selfish, honestly, to bite the hand that feeds the fandom by ignoring Hasbro's stance: while creative content such as music videos or fan-games are being accepted by Hasbro, proving that they're viewing the brony splinter-group as a good thing, erotica serves to dispute this reputable relationship. Despite the fact that Hasbro – the company ultimately responsible for the show - dislike it, and that pornography should be mediated and kept at a minimum due to its graphic nature and destructive quality, people audaciously ignore these simple, entirely acceptable requests and continue to make it anyway.

Naturally, it's abnormal and abhorrent behaviour to be attracted to cartoon ponies, especially when they are representative of a children's show, and so reasoning with the types of people who find arousal in such things is always going to be a difficult task. Obviously, it's the typical horny teenager, who comprises a good amount of the brony community, that will predominantly try and bring sex into every equation known to man, and so it's not difficult to see why they would try and sexualise characters that they create a close bond with.

However, "Friendship is Magic" draws a fine line between friendship and lust. It's acceptable to relate to characters in a kid's show if they're well-written. But to imagine having relationships with them – one brony observed appears to be convinced that Fluttershy is his girlfriend – is perverse and pathetic behaviour that indicates the loneliness that many of these people feel. And while they may argue that their attraction doesn't hurt anyone, the simple fact of the matter is that, with My Little Pony in particular, it does.

The aforementioned corporate backing behind My Little Pony leaves the show and the brony fandom in a precarious position. Given the unprecedented nature of the brony community, a lot of journalistic eyes are on the people involved to see what it is that they like about the show. Saying that it's competently written, voice-acted and animated is a credible and understandable reason, and few journalists worth their salt would be able to criticise a fandom based on these assertions. However, when individuals explain that they are attracted to the characters in the show, images of weird, sexually-neglected people come to mind, and it does genuinely ruin the collective external opinion on the fandom.

Not only this, but professional individuals who associate with the fandom receive the negative backlash that is targeted towards the pornographic side. It's difficult to feel proud of a community who don't seem to object in any major way to the ruinous presence of porn of a little kid's show. Frequently, people who create this sort of content are viewed as minor deities; popularity often seems to be closely correlated with willingness to draw porn, which signifies the degradation of society at large.

It's possible when part of a fandom to forget where it all began: in this case, My Little Pony, the toy-range and TV show marketed for kids. Therefore, it's in the best interest of the community to shy away from the sort of content that is going to embarrass the group as a whole. It's hardly being a team-player when you're letting the majority down because you just had to draw a picture of a pony having sex. As, purportedly, responsible adults, it's up to bronies to show that they can respectably like a children's show without being a weird, sexual deviant at the same time. By accepting and actively inviting pornographic content of the My Little Pony name, it merely reaffirms everything that media sources negatively say about the fandom.

It is somewhat humorous to see certain individuals who are self-certified 'cloppers' complaining when major news outlets insult them, because many of the complaints raised about bronies can be seen as true when depraved content exists. Despite it often being hyperbole and generalisation, evidence does certainly exist to support many of the negative things that are said about the community in regards to its peddling of erotica.

Ultimately, the people who are 'into' this kind of stuff will continue to draw arousal from it, and so attempting to censor the content is a largely pointless affair. My Little Pony porn, however, does come across as distasteful, unnecessary and insulting to the brand that it represents. People can make porn of anything that they like, but whether they should is an entirely different story. At the very least, people could stop being so damn proud of what they do; charging people to buy pornographic Flash games of My Little Pony, for example, is so hilariously backwards that it's hard to know who to feel more sorry for: the person sitting there making the games or the suckers actually spending money on them. There's even a My Little Pony porn website that requires a monthly subscription payment of $25. It's enough to make any rational person despair at the creepiness of it all.

"Friendship is Magic" is a good show, but due to the close relationship between Hasbro, The Hub, the staff members and the brony community, people should show some respect to the property and demonstrate at least a modicum of decency. Horny teenagers are obviously going through a phase with their weird attraction to cartoon ponies; hopefully puberty will kick that out of them. If it doesn't, then you may as well start lamenting now for the upcoming generation of people who think that this sort of behaviour is acceptable.
An article written for a local media outlet.

Want more satire about bronies? Check out some of these:

Typical Brony Leaving the Fandom I'm leaving the pony fandom;
I'm done with all the gossiping and the bitching,
The back-stabbing and the gender-switching
Between people who pretend they're something
They're not. [5]

I'm getting out of the fandom;
I'm sick of its porn and its gore,
Its darker side and its desire for more
To join the herd of egotistical pricks
Like them. [10]

I'm tired of this fandom;
I'm bored by endless proverbs and morals,
By the puffed-up glands of internet quarrels
Of who loves and tolerates in greater amounts
And wins. [15]

I've had it with this fandom;
I'm hateful towards drama and exaggeration,
Towards those who react to every situat
There's a Hole in my Lyra (Down Below) "Written from the Venerable Earl... to the concerned party,

It has come to my attention that with grave discourse many have seemingly adopted a negative stance towards the recent pony plush-toy range with the custom-cut vagina. I contend that such a plush has every right to exist and that those negatively disposed towards it are failing to see the multitudinous benefits to its existence. Firstly, and with the greatest of importance, may I add, I strongly argue that this plush-toy is no less acceptable than any other erotic image or work of fiction designed with the primary objective of helping a brony to reach a satisfying climax. In fact, I
An Admonition to the Reluctant Clopper By drawing out his fleshy tool,
He half-invites to be taken for a fool,
When reluctance fails to help him repent,
Nor escape from his practice of personal torment.
By crying loud for help to avoid this lewdness, [5]
He opts for the route of faithful shrewdness;
To give up clopping, he says with sincerity,
Would help return to a previous prosperity.
His life oft-regarded for such a precious thing,
Now amorously enslaved by the hopeless sting [10]
At the tip of his member when he surfs for smut,
And suffocates himself for sexual glut.
Resolutions on the cusp of every New Year
Fail to draw him from his state of despair:
(Fo
The Great Fandom Debate I was on the internet in Springtime in a very secluded corner when I heard an obsessive and an abstainer holding a great debate. Their argument was fierce, passionate, and vehement, sometimes sotto voce, sometimes loud; and each of them swelled with rage against the other and let out all their anger, and said the very worst they could think of about the other's character, and especially they argued strongly against each other's passion.

The abstainer began the argument in the corner of a forum and perched on a high pedestal---there was plenty of distance around it--- behind an impenetrable thick wall. He was all the happier because of the wa
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Legs, running towards
an uncertain future, brave
not knowing danger
haiku #4 in my haiku-a-day project
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Unfortunately, people are not.
.
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Thus was the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Black*Star was yelling,
Disturbing the mouse!

Tsubaki tried all she could.
She gave him a toy,
Even made him a food dish,
But nothing could silence the young boy!

It woke up the partners Soul and Maka.
Maka was the first to try.
But even with a book to his head,
He just passed it by!

Soul tried next.
With his scythe right arm,
He gave the boy a blow to the head,
And he suffered quite a bit of harm.

None the less,
Black*Star continued to yell,
About how Santa wasn't going to come,
Then he stopped when he heard a bell.

In came the jolly man,
Through the door with his big sack,
He told Black*Star to go back to sleep,
Or he wouldn't get his video game pack.

So the boy went to bed,
And all went back to silence at last.
Tired Soul, Maka, and Tsubaki looked at Santa,
Wondering how he was there so fast!

With a red cheeked grin,
Saint Nick pulled down his beard,
And with his hat falling off,
Death The Kid appeared!
This was just a poem I thought of while I was on crack xD.
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