160 things that will make you laughFunny sayings:160 things that will make you laugh1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
1. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
2. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
3. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
4. He who laughs last, didn't get it.
5. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
6. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
7. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
8. Evening news is where they start by saying "Good Evening" and proceed by telling you why it's not.
9. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs ha
Claire Stanfield vs CleverbotUser: Welcome aboard the Flying Pussyfoot.Claire Stanfield vs Cleverbot1 year ago in Settings More Like This
Cleverbot: Thank you. Now what do I do?
User: Your ticket, please?
Cleverbot: Your time.
User: Give me your ticket.
User: Because I am the conductor of this train, and you must do as I say.
Cleverbot: My radiator is cold why?
User: Aaaaugh. Fine. I'll get it later. Go take a seat in thedining car.
Cleverbot: What do you think of the president?
User: Can you not hear me?
User: Listen. I have ALL these other passengers to deal with. Think I actually care about you?
Cleverbot: Yes, because all girls like different guys.
User: Do you find me attractive? ;D.
Cleverbot: You have an attractive personality, but I don't know if you look attractive because I have not seen you.
User: I am BEAUTIFUL though.
Cleverbot: Yes you are!
User: Thank you. Now go TAKE A SEAT in THE DINING CAR.
Cleverbot: Why don't we just walk there?
Waiting For NothingI have no life....Waiting For Nothing1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
Why was I ever even born?
I know I wasn't meant to be.
Just an unfortunate accident that happened 20 years ago.
I would never try to end it all.
I'd be too scared to anyway.
Everything I do seems to fail.
Why must I endure such a life?
I don't deserve this!
So why does it happen?
I may be smart, but I can't answer that....
I just don't know!
Despite there being so much I don't know....
I am still too smart for my own good.
I think too deeply,
and find the worst things about me to be proven fact.
What am I to do?
I just live my life,
InspirationInspirationInspiration2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the beginning, it's like a flame licking the skies to be set free.
Slowly, it grows and makes one dwell upon it.
Soon it consumes you whole, without any regret or remorse.
You lay deep within its belly, feeling the life flow.
Then, ever so gently, it sinks and begins to die.
You are spit back out into reality, lying stunned, unsure of what just happened.
Then nothingness, it's gone.
You know it will come again, so you lay in wait for its return.
Lyrics for song "We are Furries."You may see us, walking down the street,Lyrics for song "We are Furries."1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Wearing fur, ears, and a tail,
from our head to our feet.
We like to have fun, we're certainly not stale.
We are one of a kind,
so don't make a big fuss
We have a straight mind
Heck, come and join us!
From morning to night
under the moon and the sun
Sure, we're quite a sight,
But that's part of the fun!
We are furries, furries,
We're not what you think
So you bury your worries
Our pride will never sink!
Sure, there are a few bad eggs
But most of them are fake
We want to make friends; don't make us beg!
We won't make the same mistake!
Dancing, games, fun is what we're about!
Jack schittWHO IS JACK SCHITT???Jack schitt12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After 15 years of marriage, J
Too Much Judas Priest Part TwoToo Much Judas Priest Part Two3 years ago in Humor More Like This
You Know You Listen To Too Much Judas Priest: Part 2
1) When you see a motorcycle you start singing "HELLBENT!! HELLBENT FOR LEATHER!!"
2) When you ride a motorcycle you start singing "HELLBENT!! HELLBENT FOR LEATHER!!!
3) When you REALLY should be getting your Christmas presents wrapped, you're posting on the Judas Priest and/or Halford forums
4) When you celebrate the birthdays of all the current and former band members instead of your own.
5) When you celebrate all the release dates of all the Judas Priest albums like they were national holidays.
6) "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise"
7) Your house is on fire and you run in to sav
How do you do it!I don't know how you do it. One smile. You make me smile. One little tiny smile. How? How do you do it!How do you do it!3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not as happy as everyone thinks. I have a lot of things on my mind. And when you walk in the room, they go away. How? How do you do it!
You say a joke. One little tiny joke. And I start to smile. And for once in my horrid life, I'm happy. How? How do you do it!
Do you know I don't trust a lot of people? But I trust you so much, it's not even funny. How? How do you do it!
I love your eyes. I love to stare into them. And I love it when you don't look away. You smile and stare right back into mine. How? How do you do it!
No one knows me. N
Trying to Tell Him.A few steps.Trying to Tell Him.3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just take those few steps.
He's right there.
Right in front of me.
I should tell him.
Is this a smart idea?
I care about him.
But what if it ruins our friendship?
It's happened so many times.
I say I like them,
More than a friend,
And they stop talking to me.
My heart is pounding.
I'm right in front of him.
I can say it,
Because, to be honest,
He is a wonderful guy.
But, what if he doesn't like me?
Maybe we're just friends?
Maybe it should be that way?
Then again, maybe not.
I open my mouth,
Say his name,
With a beautif
Away.I'm not used to this.Away.3 months ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Feeling all the HATE.
Trying so hard,
I'm trying to be,
Someone I'm NOT.
I'm trying to remember,
A girl who was...FORGOT
But I can't,
Remember who I was.
Before all PAIN.
It took that girl,
The sweet little girl.
I don't want to feel a thing.
Because all I feel is PAIN
Trying so hard to be strong,
In a world that will always CHANGE
I try to love,
But he changed his MIND
They've tried to stay good,
But they're switching SIDES
Remember who I was.
Before all PAIN.
It took that girl,
The sweet little girl.
I need to BREATHE
They're killing ME
Trying to make me SEE
There's no such th
I'm not sorryI'm not sorry that I'm not perfect. I'm not sorry that I have flaws. I'm not sorry that I'm not the smartest girl on this planet. I'm not sorry that I'm ugly. I'm not sorry that I'm fat. I'm not sorry that I like to smile. I'm not sorry that I'm funny. I'm not sorry that I am really friendly. I'm not sorry that I like to be myself. I'm not sorry that I make mistakes. I'm not sorry that I love animals. I'm not sorry that I start off as shy. I'm not sorry that once someone knows me, I get a little weird. I'm not sorry that everything goes wrong. I'm not sorry that no one knows what I go through. I'm not sorry that I don't cut myself. I'm not soI'm not sorry3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Gay's Have the Right to MarryLet's talk about something for a moment. I know, not everyone likes Gay's. But if a man and a man love each other or a woman and a woman love each other, why should we stop them from getting married? Not everyone agrees. I know. But lets say you're straight. And you don't want gay marriage. Now let me ask you a question. If two guys or two girls get married, DOES IT EFFECT YOU? It's not like it changes much. All if does is make two human beings happy.Gay's Have the Right to Marry2 months ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Some of you think this is wrong. Who wants to hear something (in my eyes) is even more wrong?
In only 9 states Gay's can get married. But, in 23 states you can fuck a horse. :wtf:
I believe i
It's All About UsStepping out from the darkness of the forest and onto the sandy beach, her teal eyes immediately sought him out, his figure bathed in moonlight. She smiled and joined him, her hand slipping into his as she took her place beside him.It's All About Us1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Without saying a word, and she was used to this, he looked at her and smiled, face tainted with a soft pink as their fingers twined together. Gently she pressed her cheek to his shoulder and closed her eyes. The two of them stood on the edge of the island for a long while, enjoying each others' company and the soft glow of the moon reflecting off the shadowy waves of the sea.
Her large, furry and rounded ears fl
i swear this will go in scraps[21:19] Fire Lugia: omgomgogmgomgogmogmgomgogmgmogmggomgogmgo gugess whati swear this will go in scraps3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
[21:20] Otacon: wut
[21:20] Fire Lugia: ....
[21:20] Fire Lugia: i
[21:20] Fire Lugia: forgot
[21:20] Otacon: ....bitch
[21:20] Fire Lugia: omgomgogmgomgogm I remembered
[21:20] Fire Lugia: wait I forgot again
[21:20] Fire Lugia: omg omg omg omgt omg ogm gomg ogmgomg ogm gomggom gogmgomgogmgomgogmgm I REMEMBERD FOR SRS
[21:20] Fire Lugia: guess
[21:20] Fire Lugia: what
[21:21] Fire Lugia: >:C ANSWER ME
[21:21] Otacon: IM
[21:21] Otacon: BEING
[21:21] Otacon: A
[21:21] Otacon: FUCKING
[21:21] Otacon: FASAGDGAFGHSGHDIKHKG
[21:21] Otacon: WHAT
You made meIs that face, thereYou made me6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
one that means
you find me repulsive
sick or demented?
Is that face, now
one that you give
to those you hate?
Are you standing, here
lieing to me because
it entertains you?
How can you speak, then
saying words to me
making me mad?
What is left, now
when you are finished
killing my sanity?
I know...I know Im not perfectI know...6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
but neither are you
I know I make mistakes
these faults are all so true
I know I break promises
something Im sorry for
I know I cant be dependable
trustworthy, loyal and more
I know I yell and scream
something that I cant help
I know I misunderstand
the pain that you've felt
I know I cant fix me
my heart and soul are ash
I know that there is no future
and there is no going back
Axis X Reader~Germany EndingAxis X Reader~Germany's EndingAxis X Reader~Germany Ending10 months ago in Drama More Like This
~The Next Day~
You woke up,unsure what had happened last night. You were laying on the couch in Ludwig's house and were trying to recall last nights events. You sat up and felt dizzy,you let out a groan. You flinched as a hand touched your shoulder,you looked up and saw Ludwig looking at you with concern.
"Careful, you drank a lot last night.",he said letting out a little chuckle. "Ugh,it feels like it....what happened...?",you asked sleepily. "You basically drank and danced,Kiku and Feliciano ended up leaving though because they couldn't stand it their. Also, Gilbert tried to make a move,I saved
Homestuck RantI do not like Homestuck. Anyone who knows me on here knows how much I loath this comic. I hate it, I hate the insane fans, and I HATE having it shoved down my throat.Homestuck Rant2 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
Now before you get up in arms about this let me say something first.
At one time I considered reading it and I actually did read it eventually when a friend of mine, who actually is not a friend anymore, suggested I should. Well I did read it. I read a LOT of the pages. Over 1000 or so. I started out with the trolls because "it's not good until you reach them". So I started reading from there.
Edit: As of November 9th I have read the comic from the beginning... yeah still bo
Too Much Judas PriestToo Much Judas Priest4 years ago in Humor More Like This
You Know You Listen To Too Much Judas Priest When
1) You go through withdrawals between tours.
2) You go through withdrawals between albums
3) You go through withdrawals between songs
4) Your wedding song is one of the following; Love Bites, Turbo Lover, Hot for Love, Evil Fantasies, Eat Me Alive
5) You own a Harley and you dont even know how to ride one
6) You spend hours just standing on your Harley, posing
7) You build a make shift stage in your backyard so you can ride out on your Harley, just like Rob
8) While riding out onto your make shift stage, your knocked off your Harley by the stairs, lost under a s
Lady Rogues HandbookLady Rogue's HandbookLady Rogues Handbook2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
To expand on the Rogue's Handbook located at http://www.true-magic.com/writing/rogue.php , this one's for the ladies!
I will not masquerade as a heroine, as that would encourage the villain to target me first. I'll let the Hero take point.
I will not join the side of the Villain. He would either be abusive towards me, or I would be killed in the crossfire of his and the Hero's epic final battle.
If we are attacked, I will be sure to give at least one loud shriek so the Hero's natural instinct to protect damsels in distress will kick in and I'll have a nice solid shield of flesh swinging a sword around for me and attr
Random SkitsNUMBEH 1Random Skits1 year ago in Profiles More Like This
Skye: *walks up to Skyren* Hey Skyren, what's up?
Skyren: FUUUDABUTCUNULEHHH! D:<
Skyren: Hey Spryte, you want some salt? e3e
Spryte: *looks at it* "DUN, DUN, DUUUN!" :stare:
Lyra: Oh hey look at that one, it looks like a bunny! :XD:
Skyren: Yeah it does! :lol: WOW, look at that one over there! *points in an upward random direction to Lyra's left*
Lyra: Where? *looks for it*
Skyren: *secretly rolls away, and hides behind a tree*
Lyra: I don't see it Skyren? Point it out me again..? *still looking for it*
LatiushChapter 1Latiush4 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
It was a great day to be outside. The wind was blowing; the Pokémon all out and about, and the flea market was in town! The flea market was one of the most interesting places to ever go to. There are always shops with some items youve never seen before! But this year, there was a brand new shop here. It was just at the end of the market, and was looking almost completely empty, so out of curiosity I decided to walk over there.
Hello? I called into the shop. Anyone here? just as I was about to leave I saw this older man trip out of the back of the tent, and he seem
Looking BackFandom: Thor (Movie)Looking Back2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Characters: Loki, little Loki
Warnings: Character death?, depression, agnst, time traveling!
Summary: When Loki falls through space, he also falls through time. Can he undo the damage
of his past?
I scarcely remember the words that fell from my silver tongue as I dangled precariously off the bridge.
I looked down below me lay hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of stars and galaxies. Any other
time, the truly beautiful scene would have pulled me from the emotional shadows that so often
seemed to engulf me, but not today. Not even Thors low voice, uttering lies of how "everything would
be okay" would
War Of The Planet Of The Apes1War Of The Planet Of The Apes12 years ago in Drama More Like This
War Of The Planet Of The Apes - A fan fiction by Joshua Bellis
Chapter 1: The Rise of Koba
Caesar was sat on top of his favorite tree. It was the biggest one in Red Wood Forrest. As the other chimpanzees and other prime apes were swinging happily, play fighting or tending to their young, Caesar stared over San Francisco, at the sun set, with sadness in his eyes.
Maurice swung up and joined him. The Orangutan started speaking to Caesar in sign language but Caesar was not paying attention. So Maurice spoke.
Maurice: Caesar sad?
Caesar did not turn round.
Caesar: People gone.
Maurice looked at San Francisco, the empty deserted streets.