i am not the hero,
but you've made it very clear
that you cannot save yourself.
it is not cancer or even the drugs,
but the black recesses of your own mind
that is threatening your life now.
i wanted to water the garden,
planting beautiful memories
and trying to weed out the broken glass.
but the gate has locked
with me on the outside
and the yellow tulips of birthdays are choked out.
there is honesty in
if you're going down,
i'm going down with you.
you have not been alone a moment in your life
and war is waging in your head now,
but you cannot win if you do not fight.
i cannot kill the monsters
that exist only to you.
i cannot stay when you've asked me to leave.
part of me stays hoping
that when you sort you out,
you can be a part of me again.
but you intend to leave no more of you
to fill the darkness you left me,
and it makes me angry.
you are not yours alone to steal
and the night cannot claim you completely;
you are mine.
i cannot be your army
and i'm too far off to be your friend,
but my love for you is my bones.
i can't wipe your tears now
or exorcise your demons,
but i don't know how to live without you.
don't make me