Why didn't you?Why do you love me?Why didn't you?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you see you deserve better than me?
I hurt you,
I broke you,
You screamed in pain,
Sat alone in the rain,
You acted happy, all for me,
Babe, why didnt you just tell me?
Why didn't you say you hurt?
I still like you,
I still want you,
But I thought you had moved on,
I thought you were done,
Why didnt you tell me that you missed me?
Why didn't you tell me you still loved me?
PerfectI've made my mistakesPerfect3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And you've made yours
Forgive me for mine
And we can move on
I care for you
I really do
I just mess up
And make stupid choices
Even though we argue
Even though we fight
That will never change how I feel
I love you still
I'm just not perfect
I make mistakes
I'm just human
I'm not perfect
So sorry I don't live to your expectations
Sorry, I mess up
I don't try to
I try to be perfect
Just for you
But that's the thing
I'm only human
I can't do perfect
But I'll keep trying~
I RememberYou are my Brother,I Remember3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
no matter how the pictures decay,
the memories fade,
I'll hold whats left of them close,
while my heart slows,
long after you have gone Brother
You are my friend,
the only soul who refused to watch me burn,
who would never let my hope fall apart,
I'll keep whats left of hope close,
as this world fades,
long after you've gone Friend
You were my Brother,
with the last words you spoke to me,
the last breath you took,
I'll keep them carved in my memory,
for as long as this chest heaves,
Now that you're gone,
How My Chemical Romance Saved My LifeHow My Chemical Romance Saved My Life3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
And that was that, I guess; The pills weren't working, and so there wasn't anything left to do except put that big old kitchen knife to her throat. Or fly off the top of that big bank building downtown. Or take then entire bottle of those lovely little pills that were supposed to make everything better.
I slunk across the floor of the house, silent at three in the morning, and unmoving under the silver moonlight except for me, trudging along with the bottle of pills in my hands. I laughed a little at the irony.
These pills this medication was supposed to make my life brighter and take away the depression and pain. They hadn't done their job, so they were being commissioned by me to perform one final fling. A contract kill that'd relieve the pain permanently. Seemed about right, to end a futile life that I was tired of living. I'm a fish in a barrel anyways; waiting to be picked out by the stronger, bette
Sometimes A Smile Isn't EnoughOn the outside, she's confident and strongSometimes A Smile Isn't Enough3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She's so smart and she loves to prove you wrong
She loves the small things and always tries her best
She never puts you down or puts friendships to the test
She'll do almost anything, she always loves the truth
She's more comfortable in sweatpants, but she'll wear nice clothes, too
She's always smiling, coming up with a joke
She always makes you promise you won't drink, do drugs, or smoke
She always acts like nothing's wrong
She really good at playing along
On the inside she's not okay
She faces challenges every day
Her friend is dying, she's failing a class
She's sick of hiding behind a mask
She keeps all her secrets and hides all her fears
She's still being abused after all these years
Her parents call her worthless, they yell at her each night
She doesn't know how much longer she can keep up the fight
Even though on the outside she seems so strong
On the inside, you couldn't be more wrong
Maybe someday someone will see her bluffs
Don't CryIll smile,Don't Cry8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Although Im crying inside,
Because thats what you all want to see.
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill bottle it up inside,
I smile to make you happy,
Because thats all that matters.
Im dying inside,
But Ill smile
Because thats what makes you happy.
And thats all that matters,
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill keep all these
Unhealthy, poisonous tears
Locked in my heart.
Ill seem happy for you,
Because thats what you want,
I wont cry
I wont cry anymore.
No more tears
Unleashed from my breaking heart,
Because you dont want me to cry.
So I wont cry,
Because it makes you happier.
And I want you to be happy
Even if I must suffer my silent misery
Ill be better off if youre happy.
Because my happiness does not matter,
It is yours that counts.
Dont Cry you tell me,
unfinished thoughtsi.unfinished thoughts4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
wake up. i can't stay long.
we are a series of fleeting moments that spell out "bad timing" and "tragic romance". you are broken machinery and i am still trying to decipher the binary code for love. ones and zeros collide into a lump in my throat and suddenly, the idea of saying goodbye makes my fingertips ache and my wrists burn.
do you remember when we kissed? it was a messy pile of metaphors and we were scared that somebody would see us and try to clean us up. i still ghost the back of my hand over my lips and imagine that it's yours, but then i remember that "yours" and "mine" are not words that apply to you and me anymore.
here are three things that i never tried to tell you (though i really should have):
you are so goddamn vain.
you look so beautiful from this angle.
we really are fooling ourselves.
here are two things that i told you everyday ( and that i probably should have told you less):
i love you so much more than you could ever comprehend.
i want to be with yo
soapstone heart.1.soapstone heart.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we were on and off, just like rain and light switches, and i thought maybe we had the same amount of electricity. i sometimes thought of telling you 'no', but my kisses said 'yes', and my heart just wouldn't learn how to shut down.
it pissed me off.
i pretended i didn't know your name and asked you to whisper it in my ear, just to be the only one to hear your voice. i'm selfish, but i think you already know that.
(if i could make a lasso made of gravity, i'd pull the stars down and take them. i promise i'd share with you.)
you gave me a necklace that you carved from soap stone, and i couldn't tell if it was an arrowhead or a heart.
i decided it was a heart, and wondered if yours was made of the same thing.
"you are my everything," you whispered. i really thought i believed you. no wait, i actually did.
i remember finding scraps of paper in my desk with little poems on them, all signed by you. but it wasn't until later that i found out you had google'd them. it wasn't until
he's on the wrong side of a.mhe says, "Time healshe's on the wrong side of a.m1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
everything," and I remember because he
crushes his wrist watch under his heels
as he directs answers into my
"Success is never giving it
"Life," he says, "fancies itself a
generous, well-worded testimonial, brimmed
with lucky dimes and trying times fought
back with 32-yellowed grins
dawned with tax stress and grime." I resign
as he signs a cursive lie into
papers he claims unimportant.
his smiles are a cold
kind of tight-lipped and scarce
with glimpses of unabridged sunlight
when he isn't
"You're not beautiful," he says, "you're
human and that's about as good as it gets." I
hold in a heart burn,
retorts churning sleepless and shivering under
my bruised, silenced tongue as he
slides two fingers in the flute of my wrist
to check a vitality, ever since been declared
his hands have always been
Room Service.i open my eyes to a glaze white roomRoom Service.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and your milky face and
your arm is draped over me,
and i can feel our nude bodies
breathing in the cotton morning.
the fumbling and
just the fumbling, really.
but i remember your weight over me
and those strawberry lips in my ear,
your breath on my lobe like
steam from a hot bath.
there was so much heat and glaze.
glaze in our eyes, which blocked the view.
people are beautiful when they love.
you look like love when you're asleep.
i'd call it love, if it wasn't suffocating.every time it rains,i'd call it love, if it wasn't suffocating.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i think of you.
because that's all there is--
and a quick breath of air
before we all go under.
every time it rains,
i swear i'm drowning.
i'm never careful enoughThe roads here wind in ways that I don't expect.i'm never careful enough4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Sometimes, I think that dashed yellow line is the only thing that keeps me moving the right way. That keeps me going. Because one wrong move could send me barreling off the highway and the freefall feeling that would come next is not something I'm unfamiliar with. It's the same thing that happens every time I think of you. I can't get over how much this place reminds me of you. I can't get over how little room there is between full-fledged fear and being in love.
Sometimes, I think maybe they're the same thing.
I don't know what keeps bringing me back here. But I find myself coming here more and more when I can't sleep. When I can't stop thinking about you. I drive the same familiar routes. Thinking the same familiar thoughts. Going to the same familiar places. I keep retracing the paths we used to take, thinking that if I follow them back far enough, I'll figure out where we went wrong. The absence of you is familiar. Almost comforting.
parsleyI felt guilty about it --parsley2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
typing instead of writing, I mean,
and there was something else
something I tried to type out
before I couldn't
it was about how
two people lost something
no, not lost,
it was taken, I suppose
although they had no choice
sometime past 0800
I wrote about how she remembered
wearing a blue gown;
it tied at the front
and she had to wear the silliest shoes
they kept falling off
there were other girls in the waiting room,
one was alone and had
pretty cheeks and white hair
but the other girl -
the one with the silly shoes,
she saw the circle on the screen a second time,
and he had to wait outside;
she cried in front of the surgeon
who didn't hold her hand,
maybe he was used to it
there was more waiting -
another lady told the girl
how she felt numb,
but she had cried a lot, before
something about allergies and
waking up after twelve minutes;
the surgeon was there,
and didn't smile
she woke up in a chair,
smothered in blankets
certain soundscertain sounds you are used to hearing over and over again:certain sounds2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
click and drizzle of Keurig coffee maker
whoosh and creak of screen door closing
ancestral Russian-Hasidic inflections in the way you pronounce your H's
rustle of curtains and bedsheets
tap tap of your own feet
how can I help you
how're you doing
click and drizzle of Keurig coffee maker
snap of shampoo lid
roiling boiling water
infectiousi find myselfinfectious2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
reusing the words
my father once
gave to me:
i am a useless bastard, you
deserve so much more.
verbatim, i sing
along the string
of my vertebra--
the vortex that
scatters you to
i was not born
a beast, but born
i am not your lover,
i am your cancer:
with me you
will be carrion cast
onto the lawn
The Rainfall KidThere are raindrops on his fingersa glistening cluster of perfectly silver droplets that read like some shining, ethereal roadway mapthe night that he comes for her with the thunder of a summer storm rolling forward on his footsteps. The low rumble of it jolts her from a book induced slumber, the cover rough beneath hands and the jumble of last-read letters blurring on the underside of blinking eyelids as rain begins to fall. Although it's almost been longer than memory will allow, she knows that there is no mistaking the sudden upheaval of the outside world for anything other than his arrivalafter all, it hasn't stormed in years.The Rainfall Kid3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Soon enough, her shoulders and the soles of her bare feet are collecting water along with the hardback that had slipped, forgotten, through outstretched fingersnow laying broken-spined with white pages exposed and its words all bleeding together in thin rivers of smudged ink. The leafless trees seem to shudder, emerging from
first chance.i love you.first chance.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i don't even know why.
there's just this unconditional thing in me
and i don't know what it is but
i know it's there
and i know it's strong,
stonger than you could ever imagine.
i know you don't love me but
you haven't even given me the chance
you don't even know how well i could do.
i'm lousy at most things so you've probably
just assumed that i'm terrible at love too but
i promise i'm not.
if there's one thing i can do right,
it's love you.
insomniaci can't sleep becauseinsomniac6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
im thinking about scary movies
rough hands and your mouth.
the way it moves when you mumble and
the crease at the corner when you smile.
i keep singing the same song
by that boy everybody loves
about feeling alone, so alone.
so now i think about my life and how
it seems so empty for all i pull into it
and i want to cry but i wont because
it doesn't help at all.
i just pretend you're coming
to see me maybe tomorrow
and i pretend i have you to
look for when i wake up.
i can almost feel you holding
on to me, onto my hand like
there's nothing more real
in the whole wide world than
what is here between us.
im not sure where you will be in
the next days and months and years
but i can't sleep because i'm still
thinking about you and the way
your arm used to rest in the small
of my back.
and the way you would pull the sheets up
all the way to your chin in your sleep.
and the whispers that
passed between our lips
like the kisses we shared
while imagining we were
the only o
to Oregoni dreamt of you last night, my body cocooned in the white silk once mouthed by your lips. i let the world dim away under my eyes and ears and found you hiding underneath the drape of my mind.to Oregon2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
you were coming from Oregon.
"Oregon! out of all the places," i said. "you were living in Oregon after all this time."
and you pulled onto my street in a red oldsmobile just like you said your daddy lent you and you found me near the honeysuckle bushes, the ones that grew like wild-fire round here. you plucked the ones i had in my hand and put them in my mouth. they were so sweet, just like you.
he was quick to find you. he smelled you from the house-- the house i didn't want, full of things i didn't need, frothing with people i didn't love. he never forgot your scent of honey and spice that had kindled with every inhale just after i'd disappeared the summer before. he shoved you against the wire fence and wrung his hands in your shirt and told you to get away.
"leave us the fuck alone
power of jesusshe wore a cross on her neck that fitted between the cleft of each breast, woven down her sternum, even though she had fucked every ungodly thing in sight.power of jesus3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
any time you saw her, moll's hands would be found grasped along its shape, hand pressed to her heart like it was her fucking duty. but she didn't believe in jesus. no one like her could have. you can't have premarital sex and still be loved by the catholic church. from then you are disowned like an unwanted wart; removed, terminated. but she still wore it, and it would irk me to my very bones.
take that thing off, molly.
I think it started with jimmy. he loved her. or we thought he did. he fooled all of us with that whole "you are my love" bullshit. she ate it up. even I did.
he gave her a necklace of the cross jesus was once pinned to, and tortured, proclaiming his compelling love. but when she bounced jimmy upon the pelvic, lying horizontal in her virgin-child bed of pink sheets, wrapped in tangled confusion, he didn't want
Absentee, poetry.The absence of myAbsentee, poetry.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
poetry is a black hole consuming
me from the inside out.
copaceticyou know when the person you love andcopacetic2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you decide to break up, and you both say
to each other, you both agree that you
will be friends. and you think it, for a day
a week even, and he is still texting you and
you are still texting him, laughing like you
would do when you were one. and then you
meet his girlfriend at the mall, some butter
blonde bitch whose decolletage busts out
in peach ovals and she can't even tell you
how many guys she's fucked or let alone loved and
your boyfriend, or your lover who no longer is
yours is smiling like he has what he has always
wanted, all that is not you, and you become
bitter and backbitten and say something rash
and laugh and he gets it but his bitch doesn't
and then the next few weeks you are quiet
and he doesn't seem to think of you in his
experiment. you become an enemy and you
watch him from a window on your laptop
every move every suggestion every shirtless
whore make a common thing out of something
that was once undeniably yours. a