PerfectI've made my mistakesPerfect4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And you've made yours
Forgive me for mine
And we can move on
I care for you
I really do
I just mess up
And make stupid choices
Even though we argue
Even though we fight
That will never change how I feel
I love you still
I'm just not perfect
I make mistakes
I'm just human
I'm not perfect
So sorry I don't live to your expectations
Sorry, I mess up
I don't try to
I try to be perfect
Just for you
But that's the thing
I'm only human
I can't do perfect
But I'll keep trying~
Why didn't you?Why do you love me?Why didn't you?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you see you deserve better than me?
I hurt you,
I broke you,
You screamed in pain,
Sat alone in the rain,
You acted happy, all for me,
Babe, why didnt you just tell me?
Why didn't you say you hurt?
I still like you,
I still want you,
But I thought you had moved on,
I thought you were done,
Why didnt you tell me that you missed me?
Why didn't you tell me you still loved me?
maybe you never belonged to meI can still feel the weight of your lips on the curve of my collarbone. Sometimes, it feels paralyzing, crushing, absolute. Sometimes, it feels like home. Like everything.maybe you never belonged to me2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I once heard that when you can't fall asleep it means you're awake in someone else's dream. I wonder which one of us was dreaming that night, because everything was too quiet, too easy, too perfect. You used to fall asleep next to me, your body curled against mine. It's a warmth that's not easy to forget. A hidden smile tucked into pillows and sheets. It's easy to think these things will last forever when you're tangled up together. For me, the strings of my life will always be tangled up in yours. Forever tied to you. No matter hard they attempt to fray. To fall apart. To sever.
It's snowing for the first time this year. Soft and gentle, glittering in the sunlight, falling in large flakes, easy and quiet – nothing at all like the storm that rages inside of me, turning up the corners of my heart, throwing shrapnel
if i knew what this meant, i'd tell you.I'm positive that you're still missing the point.if i knew what this meant, i'd tell you.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Your house is just over the hill and I keep gasping for breath like this is the first time I've ever been alone with you and my skin hasn't memorized the loops and whirls that your fingerprints make against the indents of my hipbones. Sometimes, I act like I've never met you before because I'm afraid of losing the excitement of falling in love. I once heard that everyone is just looking for the next big thing someone brighter and better than me. You've already started calling me "annie," because you got bored with my real name. I wonder if I should be scared. I wonder if I should be worried. I wonder why all my clothes still smell like you and why I'm counting off the minutes until I can see your face again. It's gotten impossible to know whether I'm telling this story backwards or forwards. We're all in the wrong order.
Every time I sit down to tell you my history, I realize that I'm always talking about things that didn't happe
these feelings should be finiteI'm terrified and I know there's nothing unique about this, but I'm standing here completely out of touch with the rest of the world, realizing for the first time that we all feel things a little bit differently, which is why this doesn't hurt for you at all. I figure the only logical reason for how you could do this as if it means nothing was if it really did mean nothing at all for you. It's easier to hate you this way. It's easier to forget you without the burn of your kiss against my skin. It's easier to stay mad if I don't have to remember the way that it felt. Most of all, I can forget this as if it's a memory in someone else's lifetime if I accept the fact that we're all different. I can be different like you. I can let this mean nothing.these feelings should be finite3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I could mean nothing if you let me. If I let me.
You talk in big words that I get sick of hearing after awhile with big ideas and wide eyes and a small heart. I once heard that you can only love something so hard, for so long, before the feelin
justit started out as a message of honest to god tearsjust2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
honest to god honesty
and she was saying she was saying she was
a mistake and we were we were mistaking
meaningless signs for road signs to somewhere where
the great elsewhere
and a qu-quiet whisper-per transformed
twisted twisted and bent and bled and
her voice her voice became this monster this monster of
feedback and static and feedback and feedback and heartache
(the sound of heartache rips
the space between your ears till you are nothing
left but lightness and heaviness all in one space all in one space
and you can't breathe you can't breathe you can't
fucking breathe or hear or see or taste a goddamn thing)
it was all noise noise noise noise no-oise-se
bouncing in the fissures of a love-torn mind
and it was it was the sensation of falling
then the greatness of the jumbled sound
dissipated like a f o g
you saw along the path
i'm not your symphony but i'm orchestrated anywaysit's not easy to explain --i'm not your symphony but i'm orchestrated anyways2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but i'm a rushed symphony of heartbeats, quick breaths and hiccups. i'm not made of skin and bones, but a complicated sentence structure and thoughts that i spew out before i even finish them.
i'm messy in all the wrong ways.
and i'm not right in any of the ways that matter. but still you're always here, picking me up when i fall, kissing me goodnight, making a life with me one day at a time. and you haven't gone yet but i'm always moving so how long can you stay. how long can i expect it. how long is too long when you're living and loving and breathing and hell, if i can't stay still i'll mess this up for sure. i just need a minute, to think, to stop, to be. so i can be yours forever.
all i know is that i'm a constant frenzy -- a kaleidoscope of words and ideas and minutes and clumsy steps and i don't know what i'm doing, but i'm always shifting and moving and growing and going and going
and going and
until i'm standing still again.
no one can stop
On wanting to commit suicide, she wrote.It feels likeOn wanting to commit suicide, she wrote.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
keeping a secret
for a very long
until suddenly you
can't speak for fear
of spitting out
So it rests bitter
on your tongue,
and heavy on your
And you give in
after you diedi.after you died6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
they asked me if there was something
of yours that I wanted to keep
to keep your eyelashes, your breath,
I said this, and they looked
sad, said they meant did I want your
clothes and possessions, your things
I didn't know what I wanted
cradling my head with my arms and
quietly saying no over and over
dry with the taste of morning sickness
and old seawater
a month later, I wanted all your clothes
I was scrub-faced and tired
of the walls hurt my eyes, buried in wet
towels, sleeping naked on the floor every
I fucked somebody else
after the funeral
"somebody else" sounds wrong now
as if you are still alive, kissing
my shoulder in the morning
I'd taken cocaine
and it made a sound in my ears like a hummingbird
like someone banging on a door or just that tiny high pitched scream
that someone starts to make when they have grown tired of crying
your mother was fixing my hair in the kitchen
a bobby pin tucked
self made maps.she used the lines on her palms as mapsself made maps.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
following the valleys to ends of streets
and through strangers beds
to somewhere she hadn't ever heard of
but must have been right as the lines
fell off the edge and she simply
couldn't go any further without their guidence.
burboun bottlesi invited you to come sit with me, with doe eyes and innocence.burboun bottles6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
you let a finger trace the patterns my scars stained into my skin,
my wrist exposed just barely by the sleeve of my sweatshirt. i
told you you could tell me your problems, that i'd take them for
myself and i'd make everything better. your hollow cheekbones
were as sharp as the mania piercing my subconcious, and your
eyes were as hollow as my bone structure. light as a feather
you planted kisses on my forehead and quiet as a mouse i took
your grief, bestowing it upon myself in silence. how masochistic.
we exchanged names, tongues and silence. we spoke in quivering
quips of pseudo-poetry, gasping and shuddering as we muttered
on and on; angst ridden couplets that we couldn't remember if
our life depended on it. our skeletons rocked and the cracks were
audible as we snapped inside. 'call me.', i remember him asking
but he failed to give me his number, maybe on purpose. maybe.
i walked through life carrying his problems. the f
larry's sisteri imagine the slight, yellow-penciled body of my post-adolescence self, dipping the mined waters of junior high. young teens prowled the bathrooms, preening and tousling their hair, reflecting through the tarnished mirrors with faces of question like, where d'you come from, who's your brother, what's his favorite color.larry's sister3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
did he fuck hannah?
and i remember the word fuck like an arbitrary sanctification. my mind corroded to fit the word precisely between my lips and lunged from the bed of my lilly-pad tongue.
i didn't even know what it meant.
'oh yeah,' i'd tell them. they were big girls. they always were. the ones who'd pull you by your roots into a bathroom stall and spit things at you like, where the fuck you come from.
then i'd say, you know larry, the mexican-looking boy downstairs. that's my brother.
and i wouldn't tell them that he was a virgin because larry had told me two nights before the big first day that being a virgin was like wearing yellow w
Leech - PrologueLeech - Prologue4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Neil Tesla sat in a luxurious office space of an impressively large building. To him, it seemed that the owner of this room was going out of his way to enthrall him. Every inch of the place was decorated with some form of artistic antiquity, obviously with the intention of awing its visitors. Tesla noticed that most of these relics were of Egyptian origin, making him feel as if he was really sitting in the tomb of some forgotten pharaoh. The one which struck him the most was a mask of Osiris, the God of the Underworld, which hung high above him on the wall, looming overhead like a circling vulture. He had never been a particularly "spiritual" person. However, that mask did have a way of bringing out his superstitious side. It reminded him that maybe, just maybe, the world was not entirely under humanity's control...
And that no matter how firmly we may master our own destinies, there is still one fate that we can never escape.
Other treasures clutter
I hope you are reading thisthe person I love loves music much too muchI hope you are reading this2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
and the person I love loves that I love the quiet and easy days
loves that I like to stay up late (or early) till the birds sing of morning and
the person I love loves that I love to hold hands and hold a body but only when I know them fully
and the person I love loves listening to my songs and listening to my voice and to my poetry and stories
the person I love has songs to share too and a voice that melts my heart and words that mold it back into something nostalgia old and inspired new
and the person I love loves to look around and take it in once in a while and wonders why we can’t just run away to a secluded place in the forest with a cabin that harbors all of our needs, keeps you and me in a space apart where it rains when we’re sad because we would always be sad together and where the sun is warm on our skin when we are smiling together and laughing together because I made a spectacular pun out of seemingly nothing sp
raw collection of poemsand i am missing youraw collection of poems3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and i am fucking
when you climb into bed, think of me. the
rosary that downs the bottom of your
drawer is a silly reminder of what i had
taken from you
ice cold and his
i was warm
i look at myself and i see lines
impending on themselves
bending from the weight of my soul.
i am heavy
i am middle-afternoon
and i can't uncurl myself
from the telephone or the
idea of you
we work like polar
but i swear to god i was meant to
meld with you;
you go north
and i south,
thwarting what we built
between force fields
i look at my self and i see lines,
cracks in the mirror
all down my thighs where you
broke me in two
i will come back together
(only to be
split back a
part by you)
come home, come
i need early morning
i need lack of sleep
and i need the cold
to my soul
just to stop
the world siphoning the
air from me
i am not doing
note 02I wish mennote 023 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
were made out of more
you'll never love me with that kind of head
honey suckleyour dad thought i was polite because i took my shoes off before i fucked you.honey suckle3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
he thought it was nice how i always said good morning and good night.
he drove me home for the last time,
that time you asked me to come back and i did
i got on my tippytoes and i kissed you and said i always do.
because i always did.
he's going to be a beautiful young boy, and i know you'll be the most amazing father.
and it has completely broken my heart and shattered my whole world.
and every stereotypical, cliched cliche.
but god, i really can't
can't wish you anything but the best.
you stopped my whole world, you shook my mind,
you changed me.
the feather to the bear.
they were divorced before you criedI found hope walking a corner down 9th and I was afraid to ask, really. I was afraid to ask, "I'm sorry to bother you but did you kill your wife?" And I kept praying that if I did muster the courage to croak out loud, his jaundiced eyes adorned in kohl would widen and his gaze would fall before he sighed and muttered, "I'm not who you think i am and she cheated on me."they were divorced before you cried2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I would laugh because I expected it and my stature would stagger. It would lower and crawl into the pavement with my dignity as hope stands there worried, asking if there was a gas leak in the basement. I wouldn't stop laughing until he asked why and when he would, I'd smile. I'd smile and wipe a tear before murmuring to him, "Happiness sleeps around the minute you leave the house. I haven't laughed this hard since she told me she was going to stay."
creamershe took her coffee blackcreamer2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like she took her
and her tongue has never soaked
in anything more acrimonious
than every past relationship
because she was drawn
to hurt that hurts
to coffee that scalds
to the caress of fire
across the roof of a hesitant
but welcoming mouth
always sipping impatient
for the taste behind the burn
all she meant with her cream spirit
was to sweeten and blend within them
till all was soft brown and
smooth as true love ought to be
but someone has to take the brunt of boldness
someone must temper the angry boiling bitter
so she poured herself into each and every
I buildOne day, something changed.I build2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I had always been able to hear the sound of the servomotors beneath my skin; I had always been able to feel the shape and temperature of the deck rail beneath the sensors on my fingertips. I had always been able to infer, by vibration and heat, where in a given space a supervisor might be.
I had always known, but now I knew.
Something had been building.
Things build. The sciences build. Mathematics builds, calculus on algebra on arithmetic. Physics builds on mathematics. Chemistry builds on physics, biology builds on chemistry, psychology builds on biology.
The sciences build, becoming more diffuse as they do, becoming less scientific and more human, as though humanity and hard fact lie on two ends of a continuum, incompatible, disparate.
Or rather, she built me.
She built on mathematics, on engineering, on neurochemistry, on the auxin-influenced way that plants' leaves develop on their stems. The first supervisor took a series of raw materia
I RememberYou are my Brother,I Remember3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
no matter how the pictures decay,
the memories fade,
I'll hold whats left of them close,
while my heart slows,
long after you have gone Brother
You are my friend,
the only soul who refused to watch me burn,
who would never let my hope fall apart,
I'll keep whats left of hope close,
as this world fades,
long after you've gone Friend
You were my Brother,
with the last words you spoke to me,
the last breath you took,
I'll keep them carved in my memory,
for as long as this chest heaves,
Now that you're gone,