Why didn't you?Why do you love me?Why didn't you?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you see you deserve better than me?
I hurt you,
I broke you,
You screamed in pain,
Sat alone in the rain,
You acted happy, all for me,
Babe, why didnt you just tell me?
Why didn't you say you hurt?
I still like you,
I still want you,
But I thought you had moved on,
I thought you were done,
Why didnt you tell me that you missed me?
Why didn't you tell me you still loved me?
PerfectI've made my mistakesPerfect3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And you've made yours
Forgive me for mine
And we can move on
I care for you
I really do
I just mess up
And make stupid choices
Even though we argue
Even though we fight
That will never change how I feel
I love you still
I'm just not perfect
I make mistakes
I'm just human
I'm not perfect
So sorry I don't live to your expectations
Sorry, I mess up
I don't try to
I try to be perfect
Just for you
But that's the thing
I'm only human
I can't do perfect
But I'll keep trying~
Don't CryIll smile,Don't Cry8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Although Im crying inside,
Because thats what you all want to see.
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill bottle it up inside,
I smile to make you happy,
Because thats all that matters.
Im dying inside,
But Ill smile
Because thats what makes you happy.
And thats all that matters,
Dont Cry you tell me,
So Ill keep all these
Unhealthy, poisonous tears
Locked in my heart.
Ill seem happy for you,
Because thats what you want,
I wont cry
I wont cry anymore.
No more tears
Unleashed from my breaking heart,
Because you dont want me to cry.
So I wont cry,
Because it makes you happier.
And I want you to be happy
Even if I must suffer my silent misery
Ill be better off if youre happy.
Because my happiness does not matter,
It is yours that counts.
Dont Cry you tell me,
I RememberYou are my Brother,I Remember3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
no matter how the pictures decay,
the memories fade,
I'll hold whats left of them close,
while my heart slows,
long after you have gone Brother
You are my friend,
the only soul who refused to watch me burn,
who would never let my hope fall apart,
I'll keep whats left of hope close,
as this world fades,
long after you've gone Friend
You were my Brother,
with the last words you spoke to me,
the last breath you took,
I'll keep them carved in my memory,
for as long as this chest heaves,
Now that you're gone,
Sometimes A Smile Isn't EnoughOn the outside, she's confident and strongSometimes A Smile Isn't Enough3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She's so smart and she loves to prove you wrong
She loves the small things and always tries her best
She never puts you down or puts friendships to the test
She'll do almost anything, she always loves the truth
She's more comfortable in sweatpants, but she'll wear nice clothes, too
She's always smiling, coming up with a joke
She always makes you promise you won't drink, do drugs, or smoke
She always acts like nothing's wrong
She really good at playing along
On the inside she's not okay
She faces challenges every day
Her friend is dying, she's failing a class
She's sick of hiding behind a mask
She keeps all her secrets and hides all her fears
She's still being abused after all these years
Her parents call her worthless, they yell at her each night
She doesn't know how much longer she can keep up the fight
Even though on the outside she seems so strong
On the inside, you couldn't be more wrong
Maybe someday someone will see her bluffs
i'd call it love, if it wasn't suffocating.every time it rains,i'd call it love, if it wasn't suffocating.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i think of you.
because that's all there is--
and a quick breath of air
before we all go under.
every time it rains,
i swear i'm drowning.
Libra 1The cacophony woke us,Libra 13 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
limbs tied together with river girls' ribbons,
the mattress tessellating our dawn-kissed skin.
The eruption was felt before it was heard
and I saw your tears spill the last of our
ineffable exhalations onto the divergent dirt.
The water webbed us apart,
a sweet duress, a terrifying challenge
we both figured was won already.
I watched the world slip,
felt the bareness in my hands grate against
sand and life and bones,
cried a somnolent sonnet to your paralysis
and drank my lungs full of the ocean.
soapstone heart.1.soapstone heart.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we were on and off, just like rain and light switches, and i thought maybe we had the same amount of electricity. i sometimes thought of telling you 'no', but my kisses said 'yes', and my heart just wouldn't learn how to shut down.
it pissed me off.
i pretended i didn't know your name and asked you to whisper it in my ear, just to be the only one to hear your voice. i'm selfish, but i think you already know that.
(if i could make a lasso made of gravity, i'd pull the stars down and take them. i promise i'd share with you.)
you gave me a necklace that you carved from soap stone, and i couldn't tell if it was an arrowhead or a heart.
i decided it was a heart, and wondered if yours was made of the same thing.
"you are my everything," you whispered. i really thought i believed you. no wait, i actually did.
i remember finding scraps of paper in my desk with little poems on them, all signed by you. but it wasn't until later that i found out you had google'd them. it wasn't until
he's on the wrong side of a.mhe says, "Time healshe's on the wrong side of a.m9 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
everything," and I remember because he
crushes his wrist watch under his heels
as he directs answers into my
"Success is never giving it
"Life," he says, "fancies itself a
generous, well-worded testimonial, brimmed
with lucky dimes and trying times fought
back with 32-yellowed grins
dawned with tax stress and grime." I resign
as he signs a cursive lie into
papers he claims unimportant.
his smiles are a cold
kind of tight-lipped and scarce
with glimpses of unabridged sunlight
when he isn't
"You're not beautiful," he says, "you're
human and that's about as good as it gets." I
hold in a heart burn,
retorts churning sleepless and shivering under
my bruised, silenced tongue as he
slides two fingers in the flute of my wrist
to check a vitality, ever since been declared
his hands have always been
Room Service.i open my eyes to a glaze white roomRoom Service.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and your milky face and
your arm is draped over me,
and i can feel our nude bodies
breathing in the cotton morning.
the fumbling and
just the fumbling, really.
but i remember your weight over me
and those strawberry lips in my ear,
your breath on my lobe like
steam from a hot bath.
there was so much heat and glaze.
glaze in our eyes, which blocked the view.
people are beautiful when they love.
you look like love when you're asleep.
i'm never careful enoughThe roads here wind in ways that I don't expect.i'm never careful enough3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Sometimes, I think that dashed yellow line is the only thing that keeps me moving the right way. That keeps me going. Because one wrong move could send me barreling off the highway and the freefall feeling that would come next is not something I'm unfamiliar with. It's the same thing that happens every time I think of you. I can't get over how much this place reminds me of you. I can't get over how little room there is between full-fledged fear and being in love.
Sometimes, I think maybe they're the same thing.
I don't know what keeps bringing me back here. But I find myself coming here more and more when I can't sleep. When I can't stop thinking about you. I drive the same familiar routes. Thinking the same familiar thoughts. Going to the same familiar places. I keep retracing the paths we used to take, thinking that if I follow them back far enough, I'll figure out where we went wrong. The absence of you is familiar. Almost comforting.
ZoningIt is a constant;Zoning2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
free-falling then rib tugging inhalations
wrapping my body around blurred conclusions
and heavy sentiments.
Escape routes go through cigarette butts
to catching illusory stars
to gasping into the nebulizer
until the transition from awake
to passed out happens in seconds.
Nothing interests me
but the hand that finds mine under the lace,
the eyes that try to pull words from my pupils
and then match them by kissing my skin,
masking untamed fantasies with comforting hums.
The night isn't successful
until the ceiling blends into the navy blankets,
while eyelashes are collected on some stranger's fingertips
and blown away with wishes I never made.
It is continuous;
a carelessly carved substitute walkway
lined with genuine philosophies
and self-destructive consequences.
there's nothing that feels quite like this.Maybe the problem is that I don't know what a love story should sound like. I haven't figured out what order I should put the words in to make it read just right. I do, however, know what it feels like, but pushing around nouns and adjectives just to make it grow is the hardest thing I'll ever do. And it's true that I've tried it before and maybe I succeeded once, but since then I've learned the way real love washes through veins, and rumbles through the shifting and settling of bones until it changes you completely in a way that is absolutely unyielding. Perfect. Simple. It's not angry, or jealous, it doesn't hurt. It isn't like before. So now words don't come so easy, since I'm not sure which ones will cheapening the moments, the feelings, you.there's nothing that feels quite like this.2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
And god, I could never do that to you, since the only thing I know with completely certainty is that you are the only thing that saves me. That moves me. That completes me. Without you, I'd be less than nothing. Alone. Forgotten. It's e
we don't sound like a whisper.The sun never sets over the water, but you still take me there whenever dusk comes to meet the horizon. We sit out on the rocks with me tucked tight against your chest, while you count stars like other people count blessings, but we're only half lucky with all these city lights ruining your chances. I know you're tired, love, but I'm terrified. I'm running out of ways to stop myself from telling you I miss you because twenty four hours isn't a long time to be separated and I'm really just more afraid of what you're doing when I'm not there -- and of what you're thinking when I am. I've been burnt enough times before to learn that loving with only half your heart will save you from the fire, but I know that's not what I'm doing here. I don't want you to be a mistake worth making. I want this to be real this time.we don't sound like a whisper.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I keep playing out all the ways you could hurt me in my head, not because I think you will, but because it'll sting less if it actually happens. I've learned to prepare myself
parsleyI felt guilty about it --parsley1 year ago in Free Verse More Like This
typing instead of writing, I mean,
and there was something else
something I tried to type out
before I couldn't
it was about how
two people lost something
no, not lost,
it was taken, I suppose
although they had no choice
sometime past 0800
I wrote about how she remembered
wearing a blue gown;
it tied at the front
and she had to wear the silliest shoes
they kept falling off
there were other girls in the waiting room,
one was alone and had
pretty cheeks and white hair
but the other girl -
the one with the silly shoes,
she saw the circle on the screen a second time,
and he had to wait outside;
she cried in front of the surgeon
who didn't hold her hand,
maybe he was used to it
there was more waiting -
another lady told the girl
how she felt numb,
but she had cried a lot, before
something about allergies and
waking up after twelve minutes;
the surgeon was there,
and didn't smile
she woke up in a chair,
smothered in blankets
certain soundscertain sounds you are used to hearing over and over again:certain sounds2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
click and drizzle of Keurig coffee maker
whoosh and creak of screen door closing
ancestral Russian-Hasidic inflections in the way you pronounce your H's
rustle of curtains and bedsheets
tap tap of your own feet
how can I help you
how're you doing
click and drizzle of Keurig coffee maker
snap of shampoo lid
roiling boiling water
insomniaci can't sleep becauseinsomniac6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
im thinking about scary movies
rough hands and your mouth.
the way it moves when you mumble and
the crease at the corner when you smile.
i keep singing the same song
by that boy everybody loves
about feeling alone, so alone.
so now i think about my life and how
it seems so empty for all i pull into it
and i want to cry but i wont because
it doesn't help at all.
i just pretend you're coming
to see me maybe tomorrow
and i pretend i have you to
look for when i wake up.
i can almost feel you holding
on to me, onto my hand like
there's nothing more real
in the whole wide world than
what is here between us.
im not sure where you will be in
the next days and months and years
but i can't sleep because i'm still
thinking about you and the way
your arm used to rest in the small
of my back.
and the way you would pull the sheets up
all the way to your chin in your sleep.
and the whispers that
passed between our lips
like the kisses we shared
while imagining we were
the only o
PaginationI perused the pages of your spine,Pagination2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like a desperate and dying woman
would cling to the collar of the last man
to walk past and say
"I'm going and I'm okay with this."
And hold me around the hips
so when I fall apart,
the last part of me to go would be where
you spent the better of your time
infectiousi find myselfinfectious2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
reusing the words
my father once
gave to me:
i am a useless bastard, you
deserve so much more.
verbatim, i sing
along the string
of my vertebra--
the vortex that
scatters you to
i was not born
a beast, but born
i am not your lover,
i am your cancer:
with me you
will be carrion cast
onto the lawn
Ivory.and there are kissesIvory.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
made from teeth
by beautiful girls with
and boys with
if i knew what this meant, i'd tell you.I'm positive that you're still missing the point.if i knew what this meant, i'd tell you.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Your house is just over the hill and I keep gasping for breath like this is the first time I've ever been alone with you and my skin hasn't memorized the loops and whirls that your fingerprints make against the indents of my hipbones. Sometimes, I act like I've never met you before because I'm afraid of losing the excitement of falling in love. I once heard that everyone is just looking for the next big thing someone brighter and better than me. You've already started calling me "annie," because you got bored with my real name. I wonder if I should be scared. I wonder if I should be worried. I wonder why all my clothes still smell like you and why I'm counting off the minutes until I can see your face again. It's gotten impossible to know whether I'm telling this story backwards or forwards. We're all in the wrong order.
Every time I sit down to tell you my history, I realize that I'm always talking about things that didn't happe
first chance.i love you.first chance.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i don't even know why.
there's just this unconditional thing in me
and i don't know what it is but
i know it's there
and i know it's strong,
stonger than you could ever imagine.
i know you don't love me but
you haven't even given me the chance
you don't even know how well i could do.
i'm lousy at most things so you've probably
just assumed that i'm terrible at love too but
i promise i'm not.
if there's one thing i can do right,
it's love you.
stepping stonesI've forgotten my namestepping stones4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and how to use my tongue
and I've been purposefully nonchalant
towards the filth you call poetry.
Your words have become stagnant
on my reptile skin
and I'm shedding shedding, shredding
all the support in my body
because at your feet is where I belong.
And I'm ashamed;
I'm pondering breaking my ribs apart
to show you that I had a heart
and I don't want it, I don't need it
and I don't recognize it anymore.
But your lips are barely moving
and your eyes are full of reminders
of the days I never felt
and I miss it, I miss it,
I miss you
and I miss me too.