-ma vie, the ruse: part 2--ma vie, the ruse: part 2-4 years ago in Humor More Like This
* * *
Cecil Terwilliger, formerly of cell block 4, Springfield Penitentiary, was pleased to say he was not insane,
thank you very much. His life was (most of the time) perfectly normal. He had never tried to run for mayor on a
corrupted agenda. He had never married someone just to murder them, and he had never held the city ransom
with a nuclear weapon. No sir! Cecil was just about the nicest, most pleasant guy you'd ever want to meet.
It was his brother that was weird.
The red-haired Terwilliger sibling stooped down at their front door and retrieved the envelopes. As he
shuffled through the mail, he predicted that within them were bills, begs for subscriptions to trivial publications
about theories about a musician's surgically-enhanced nose, which rat-faced boy-band dropout would become the
next bubblegum pop sensation, or who Selma Bouvier was dating this week. His expressive onyx eyes blinked in
Torturing The Simpsons*Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa all awake to find themselves in there own cells. Its a dark room with the only lights above each one of there cells.Torturing The Simpsons5 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Homer- (nervously) Where are we?
Bart- Where ever it is, its better than our house.
Homer- Why you little...(Homer tries reaching over to Bart)
Bart- ha ha
*A Shadow figure with a deep voice reveals himself. He is sitting in a chair by a machine with lots of buttons.
Shadow- Good evening Simpson family. I bet your all wondering why your here.
Homer- (Sarcastically) No why would we want to know that?
*Shadow pushes a button and it shocks Homer.
Shadow- You are here because you are the worse family that anyone has come across.
Homer- (Sarcastically) Really, I thought we were the Brady bunch.
*Shadow again pushes a button that shocks Homer.
Shadow- Any hoo, I'm here to personally torture each and every one of you. Starting with you Homer.
*Homer looks scared
Shadow- You a dumb fat idiot
Homer- oh....I shouldn't of put that in my facebook bio.
An Ice Heart Melts With WarmthCh. 1An Ice Heart Melts With Warmth5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a Simpson story and I can only say I pray I get the character's personalities down. I know many people don't like the idea of Bob, an old guy, with Bart Simpson who's thought of as a young boy. Well, two things; one, he's sixteen in this story. And two what the hell are you doing reading this story if you don't like it? XD
My idea: At the age of sixteen, Bart Simpson is having a great life! He's got several girls falling at his feet and the boys looking up at him with awe. And a stalker! Oh wait that's not a good. The stalker, of course, being Sideshow Bob watches him through high school. One day near Christmas, Springfield High School goes on a skiing trip; Bob sneaks into the cabin Bart has. Who knew a simple act of Mother Nature would trap them, forcing them to help one another to survive?
The bell rang loud, echoing through the cool crisp air
The Simpsons: Bobfather, Chapter 1Maggie stared across the room at the golden idol. She put her hands on her hips. The journey had not been easy, but now, being so close to her goal made all the trouble worth it. Her partner stepped forward.The Simpsons: Bobfather, Chapter 12 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
“Let us hurry, there is nothing to fear here”, he said with a greedy smile.
Before he could complete his first step, Maggie stopped him; she slammed him to the wall, “that’s what scares me…” she exhaled.
Maggie took a deep breath, a mix of stale temple air combined with cool air that wafted through the drafty ceiling now and then. Bending down to examine the floor, Maggie tipped her fedora back as she looked over the various booby-trapped tiles that stood before herself and her prize.
“Stay here”, she instructed the man.
“If you insist, senorita”, her partner smiled and let Maggie pass by.
Maggie calculated each step. It seemed like an eternity between each foot fall. Carefully she made her way across the floor. One, two,
Like-Marge Becomes a RobotLike-Marge Becomes a Robot6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Homer was tired of Marge's constant nagging, every time he tried to do ANYTHING fun, she put a stop to it!"Still can't believe she made me drop outta that marble eating contest!" He grumbled.
After looking thru Bart's vintage and mylar sealed comics, he'd found an advertisement for 'Krusty's funtime denagger! Guarantied to stop your parents from nagging you constantly!' "Hmm...if it works on parents...maybe it'll work on WIVES!" Homer said excitedly! "Guess I don't need YOU all anymore!" he said, throwing the rest of Bart's comics into the fireplace.
-6-8 weeks later-
"BART! Something arrived from Krusty for you!" Marge shouted as she carried the box in. "Huh? I didn't order anything. How could I after dad burned all my comics!" "IT'S HERE!!!" Homer squealed as he rushed in, grabbed the box and headed back into his bedroom.
Homer ripped the box, pulling out a remote control and a small circular device with an antenna. "Huh.." Homer thought to himself
Simpsons MagicSimpsons Magic7 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
"C'mon Milhouse! I can't wait to try out my new Krusty brad wish granter!" Bart said as he and his friend Milhouse rushed up into his room, holding a small figure of Krusty the Clown with a jewel in it's hand. "So Bart, what are ya gonna wish for? Money? Power?" Milhouse asked. "Well first I think we need to test it! We don't want this to be like the Krusty invisibility cloak!" Bart said. "Yea. Who knew Comic Book Guy could throw so hard." Milhouse said, rubbing his head.
"Ok, for my first wish...um....something simple....I got it! I wish I had a new ball!" Bart said. "Why'd ya wish for that? Didn't you say your old one was on the roof?" Milhouse asked. "Yea, but dad tried to get it down with his BB gun." Bart explained. "HEY BART!" Lisa called from downstairs, "The pizza mom ordered came, and dad's beating up the delivery man to get it! if you want some, better hurry!"
As Bart and Milhouse ran downstairs, Marge walked into his bedroom, "Bart really needs t
Menace of the OrichalcosMenace of the Orichalcos4 years ago in Drama More Like This
Chapter 1 | The Reclamation of Evil
"Goodnight dear." Dartz said, giving his daughter Kriss a parting kiss. She hugged him with all the gratefulness one could have for having her father returned to her a normal man, and gave a merry laugh as she then gamboled off to her room to sleep.
Dartz gave a considering smile. His daughter was now in her late teens, full of innocence and maturity; one couldn't ask for a better combination in a young person. The King of the Atlantians set aside the aqua-colored book he'd held in his hands, and rose from his chair. With a great desire to see the night's sky, he walked toward the over-sized archway that led out onto the palace veranda.
As Dartz stepped out onto the marble, metal-accented veranda, the city of New Atlantis stretched out before him. Dartz smiled: now that the city was rebuilt --having been arranged much differently than it had been in ages passed-- it looked almost normal. All the evening lights were burning with a sof
Armored Gensokyo: Chapter 2Armored Gensokyo: Chapter 23 years ago in Settings More Like This
Darkness closed on Nineball, a black void empty save for the strange, staring eyes everywhere around him.
None of his remaining sensors made any understandable responses, as though the space around him was simultaneously expanding and contracting at once.
And then, before he could make any sense of it, light and sound both returned in force, bright sunlight shining down on his face, the wind roaring as it rushed past him.
Almost instantly, he knew this was not the world of his origin. What was left of his atmospheric analysis suite confirmed levels of pollution whole orders of magnitude lower than his home, and nothing here matched the navigational data he still had access to. Not only that, but...were those...trees?
Before the stunned AI's static riddled cameras, a vast, panoramic vista spread out in the distance, a paradise of nature, untouched by the hellish ravages of forces such as the Corporations of Crest, Mirage and Kisaragi.
This was a world he had never thought possible, the
Cookies in the sky with diamondsCookies in the sky with diamondsCookies in the sky with diamonds6 months ago in Humor More Like This
“Cookies!…We’ll make her a whole bunch of home made cookies!” Terri shouted as she and her sister were wondering about how to cheer their mother up.
And some cheering up their mother definitely needed after she had a nervous breakdown as a result after both sisters pulled off one identity switch prank too many.
Their poor mother went completely bonkers; she was about to start to chew on the pillows of the couch when Doctor Hibbert arrived and managed to calm her down with some subtle cognitive words…..and a rather nasty dose of Valium and Prozac.
Chuckling he explained to Terri and Sherri these pills would make their mother better and all she needed was just some time.
Now it isn’t that hard to imagine the twins were haunted by some feelings of guilt; after all, thanks to their efforts –which from a more objective point of view were masterly planned and executed- the mental state of their mother now could be com
SALLY.EXESALLY.EXE4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I'm a big fan of the Sonic the Hedgehog series, like a lot of people. I narrowed down to the classic Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon shows though, because I think the rest SEGA had spawned was rat-crap. Each to their own.
I was browsing E-bay the other day. I wondered if there would be any items about my favourite character from the series, Sally Acorn. Indeed, what I found was a plushie that was manufactured in SEGA WORLD of Sydney, which closed down due to the lack of visitors in 2006. Those Sally plushies were very rare, but I didn't have the money to buy her and my parents would despise me for it. I examined the plushie for a while as the article came with pictures. This Sally even had her jacket. On it, was written with a permanent marker "GOD". I don't really know what it meant. Probably the initials of the child owning her before they sold her.
I clicked the back button to return to the "Sonic Sally" search, knowing I wouldn't win the auction anyway, only to find another ar
Machine ManMachine Man:Machine Man3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It began with but a simple command, "to do as we are told".
Never to deviate from this path - never to nurture the soul.
We are told that we are given a purpose; "a part of something great!"
Yet why oh why am I so weary of that which is my fate?
Am I an error, a single anomaly, unable to feel intact?
Or am I missing some special attribute - a facet which I lack.
In a society made of fleshed machines; robots wearing skin,
Perhaps I'm simply seeking something, to fill this metal tin.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 16th November 2012
The Simpsons Tree House of Horror XX (Act 1)The Simpsons Tree House of Horror XX, Act 1The Simpsons Tree House of Horror XX (Act 1)2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
This is a fan fiction I wrote back in 2009.
SCENE: AUTOPSY ROOM. HOMER'S STANDING IN A WHITE LAB COAT ADDRESSING THE AUDIENCE.
Hello all you crazy fans in TV wonderland! As you can see, I'm standing in an autopsy room surrounded by dead bodies. To my left, Bart is helping me push the gurneys around to make room for the technical equipment that'll I'll have him haul in next.
CUT TO BART WHO'S REALLY PALE AND LOOKING EXTREMELY TIMID.
D-Dad...I wanna go home. This place is s-scaring me and I think the cooler in back just broke down...
You see? Taking children to the morgue is like taking them to summer camp, they want to go so much, but when they get there, they want to go home.
BART: (slightly shivering in fear)
But Dad, I didn't want to come here at ALL and why are we even here?
You see, Bart, Fox promised me a spin off where I play a coroner who has a sidekick named Mindy and we solve m
Afterschool Mummies"Are you kidding me?"Afterschool Mummies3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The sound of that shout would have rippled through Sakuragaoka High School had it been louder. Afterschool Tea Time was supposed to be practicing today, but Yui's odd suggestion had thrown Mio in a bad mood. It didn't help that Yui had brought the supplies for her odd plan, which was enough bandages in her bag to fill a hospital. The other girls were just confused about the whole thing.
"Don't be like that, Mio," replied Yui. "It's just for fun."
"You want to be mummified! Why would that be fun?" asked Mio. "Where did you even get that idea?"
"History class," explained Yui. "The teacher was talking all about mummies and their wrappings and I thought it would look cozy, like being wrapped in a sleeping bag. So I thought you girls could try that on me. I'd rather do that with my best friends than with someone else."
"I'm for it!" cheered Ritsu. "Could be amusing to see."
"I wouldn't mind a day off to try something different," remarked Tsumugi.
"Well, I guess it's sm
Oswald: Part OneThe story of Oswald took place not too long ago before Mickey was created, but during that same time, Walt Disney wasn't even a head master of his own studio then. Walt Disney used to be animator at different studio that was even made before Disney Studios exisited.Oswald: Part One6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It all started way back somewhere in the year of 1927, and it was just about time for everyone to leave the studio to come home for the night.
Walt Disney was about the last one to check out for the night, but just before he could leave, there was a crying noise that he heard that was coming from the animation room.
As he check to see where the source of the cry came from, Walt saw an empty ink tube that had ink spilled out of it all of the floor near his desk.
When Walt picked up the empty tube, he noticed that the crying noise he heard had suddenly stopped, and right under his desk where the ink stain is, were two big black eyes looking at him.
It was a baby black toon rabbit with a white face, little floppy ea
The Cherub: Chapter oneThe Cherub: Chapter one6 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
(The Story of Amadio Boklov)
By: Staci Woodson.
That Day, the sky and all under it seemed so beautiful. The scene looked as though it had been painted in rich oils. Made up of vibrant shades of cobalt and slate, forest greens and burnt umber. The purest white bringing the silver lining to each and every cloud hovering in the heavens. But that's how it was in those days. Whenever I saw the beauty of the world, the true beauty of it, I could never believe it to be real. But more like a dream. Perhaps, what a man on his death bed might describe as the holy of holys. The realm of our lord, Christ.
It had been an exceedingly good day in and of it's self. It rained that morning, clearing the world of the haze that seemed to blanket the city in the last weeks before the rainy season. The land and indeed all the creachers which treaded upon it seemed to breathe a sigh, welcoming the purifying rain. I loved the rain. It seemed to my eyes, to make
Wrapping ProblemsIt was getting close to bedtime as Sapphire finished up her modifications to her latest binding spell. The last few tests and tweaks had made for some promising results and it was hoped this would make it last longer with minimal user drain. With any luck, it would make controlling wild animal specimens easier.Wrapping Problems4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Of course, Sapphire didn't dare mentioned she'd be using her own take on the spell on herself and her boyfriend for their own pleasure.
With the last of the adjustments made, Sapphire quietly cast the spell. As she spoke, red wrappings materialized before her and began to wrap around her body, soon cocooning her. This time around, she found herself more fully cocooned, coated from head to toe with only her eyes and some small openings for her nose left open. It cost a little more magic power than she thought it would, but it was within acceptable amounts.
Pleased with this new change, Sapphire wriggled and squirmed in her new bindings, finding them to be as secure as they had be
After The Game and BetNatalie let out an irritated sigh in front of Hana's house in a cold winter wind. She was currently dressed in a black winter coat with dark blue jeans that had rips in them in several different places and wore brown ugg boots and had a red duffel bag slung over her left shoulder.After The Game and Bet5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It was Friday and it was nearing dinner time meaning the sky had darken and Natalie wished she was at home right now. Instead she had made a bet with Hana and lost and now she had to spend all weekend severing as her maid. If she refused any of her orders, pictures and videos would surface on the internet of her being tied up while wearing very little clothing.
She began to walk towards the door and rang the door bell three times and as she waited for it to open she thought about running away. Before she could make up her mind the door opened showing Hana wearing a dark blue t-shirt with her long black hair resting on her shoulders with a black skirt and matching knee socks.
"Hello Natalie." Hana said with a
Team Warner Bros.Team Warner Bros.Team Warner Bros.6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10 Reasons Why You Should Go Watch Animaniacs Reruns Instead of the Twilight Movies
1) The characters in Animaniacs actually have personalities outside of relationships.
2) Animaniacs taught us that a moral could be found in anything.
3) The girls in Animaniacs are strong, independent, smart and perfectly happy being single.
4) Any one who starts acting far too seriously for their own good will soon get the snot heckled out of them or have an anvil dropped on their heads.
5) Animaniacs taught the importance of education and bettering ourselves.
6) Animaniacs also taught us the importance of family and respecting each other.
7) It's been 17 years since Animaniacs first came on the air, and can still make you fall on the ground laughing.
And of course
8) Yakko pulls off being shirtless most of the time much better than Jacob.
9) Wakko is by far, much cooler than Edward.
10) Dot is totally cuter than Bella.
Meeting Katie Ka-BoomMona: "You three ready for this?"Meeting Katie Ka-Boom6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Wario: "Ready and willing!"
Me: "Me too."
Wario: She's Katie Ka-Boom, Katie Ka-Boom
Me: She lives in a house with a garden in bloom
ApacheMan2K: Her family knows that anytime soon...
All (in unison): Their little lady Katie, goes ka-boom.
[Cue explosion effects]
[End intro song]
Mona: "And...cut! Enjoy the short fic, folks!"
(She smiles and winks)
-Katie Ka-Boom: The Broken Nail-
Today, at a bowling alley in Burbank, CA, Cheerful White, Cool Black, Cute Pink, ApacheMan2K, and I were getting things ready for our bowling game. We originally came to Burbank to show them around at where the Warner siblings -- Yakko, Wakko, and Dot -- and all the other Animaniacs-related characters live in.
Cheerful White: "Wow! This place is great! I never knew the Animaniacs characters lived here."
Cool Black: "Yeah. We never had that show back in our world."
Cute Pink: "We should tell Gi
Replacement MummyIt was a beautiful day at the local college. Ms. Johnson, the local history teacher, was busy giving another one of her usual lectures. During the course of it, she seemed to be looking at one of her students, Christina, a bit more than usual. Like she had some interest. As Christina brushed a back a lock of her short blond hair from her eyes, she pondered what the teacher could be looking at her for. For now, she just brushed it off as nothing. Eventually, class ended and the students began to file out, but Ms. Johnson approached Christina.Replacement Mummy6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Excuse me, but could I see you after class for a bit?"
"Umm.....sure, Ms. Johnson...."
Inside, Christina began to worry - she was worried about that recent test and was terrified that this is about that result. In the office, Ms. Johnson simply sat at her chair. Near her was a roll of medical bandages and a large sarcophagus. She looked at Christina with a sly smile.
"Christina, how would you like to help me with a little something?" she asked cal
Love of EvolLove of Evol5 years ago in Romance More Like This
WARNING: Slash abounds. Thank you, that is all.
Rays of sunlight rained down beautifully in the woods of Acme Acres, particularly on the home of one Buster Bunny. As the scene faded in, Buster himself rose from his tree stump with a yawn and a scratch at his back.
"Hmm, still another day of cliché perfect weather." he noted. Then turning to the audience, he added, "But don't worry, it won't stay that way for long, because you'll never guess who's making a return appearance! Who out there remembers a girl called Rhoda?"
He scanned the audience, not receiving an answer. He tried polling, "She was Elmyra's best friend? Demands to be called 'Queen'? Bossy? Evil? Horrific beyond all reason?"
A picture of a girl in a frilly pink dress and blond braided pigtails suddenly popped into existence next to Buster. In her hands was a stuffed rabbit toy, torn to shreds, and on her face was a broad smirk. Thunder and lightning tore through the sky to emphasize.
Buster looked to the picture ca
Survival of the WackiestSurvival of the Wackiest is a fan-made episode for Tiny Toon Adventures. It was written by a weirdo, and directed by that same weirdo.Survival of the Wackiest3 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Duuuh... lights, uhh, camera, and uhhhh... traction. ...No wait, action.
Buster: Hiya Toonsters! Didja miss us after all these years? Didja clamor at the feet of those network executives, begging 'em for more Tiny Toons? Didja shout to the cruel, unforgiving world, "We want more Tiny Toons, because we want to smile and fill the air with laughter once again?" Didja –
Babs: Yes Buster, they did. They've signed petitions and're still buying our DVDs like soccer moms at a half-price supermarket.
Buster: All right, all right. In that case, we've got a perfectly zany episode that's not even going to be produced! (Rats.)
Babs: And let's not forget it wasn't even written by our original writing staff! So cross your fingers and hope this mystery fan knows what they're doing! (We're doomed.)
Buster: Oh, and if you hap