Heartbreak MasqueradeI can't remember what it feels like to be happy...
My smile no longer shrouded in sincerity.
It is like a heartbreak masquerade, fooling everyone;
Exhausted, I remove my mask when the day is done.
I'm a professional at what I do: I hide what I feel -
When I get hurt, I pretend like it is no big deal.
In reality, it's killing me; feel my heart breaking
The sad part? My friends don't know that I'm faking.
I can't remember the sound of my laughter any more;
Feels odd when I smile, like I've never done it before.
My heart soaring with joy - well, that feeling is gone
Dreaming about another guy that isn't you feels wrong.
It is like I am cursed, you never leave my mind
However, you - you didn't pause, just left me behind.
It feels wrong to see you and still feel butterflies
My heart still racing when I look into your eyes.
My head keeps spinning when you're in the vicinity
Even after all the feelings left, I can't feel happy.
I smile, not sincerely, but just to show you I'm fine,
She had never thought of herself as brokenShe had never thought of herself as broken,She had never thought of herself as broken3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as missing, as unfinished, as incomplete.
She used to think she was complete, accomplished;
her flaws hidden, her heart healed and soul varnished.
Her Creator had made her independent -
she did not need her "other half" to be whole.
When he left, a cold hand wrapped around her heart;
she ached, trapped under the weight of missing him.
She craved his presence, his arms around her waist,
his hands in her hair, his eyes locked on to hers.
She realized she'd simply been fooling herself -
He was her "other half", a 'yin' to her 'yang'.
She had never thought of herself as broken,
until feeling broken was all she had left.
TiredI'm tired. Just tired.Tired3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Tired of always crying myself to sleep
Sick of missing you so much each week.
Exhausted from pretending that I'm okay
Miserable from ignoring you every day.
I don't want to fight with you, no more,
This sorrow exhausts me to my core.
I'm sick of the tears, sick of the pain
I just want to feel normal again.
Pretending we're fine isn't working
I can't hide the fact that I'm hurting.
Please, stop fighting, pick up your phone
You know it's nobody's fault but your own.
In a Little Girl's MindThere sits the girl with the things in her eyesIn a Little Girl's Mind3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Monsters, destruction, and sweet butterflies
Hopscotch and daisies, surrounded by screams
Beautiful dresses now torn at the seams
Crayons and paintbrushes, villains and grins
Young, gladsome innocence, hatred and sins
Little red houses on roads left to fade
Gorgeous moonlight shining off of the blade
Blood pouring out as she cries her own name
Knowing she's forced to take each bit of blame
She could have stopped it and left it behind
All of these things in her troubled young mind
She could have saved them if she dared to try
Rather, though, she left herself there to die.
Now, others watch as she sits on the ground
Keeping their distance and letting her drown
In her own worries and things she won't tell
Waiting for her mind to kill her as well
ChemistryWithin your eyes I felt a calling,Chemistry3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It froze me in place.
As if somehow my mind just knew,
I'd yearn for your embrace.
I couldn't fight this magnetism,
Pulling me in your direction
Every action turned to the thought,
"How can I win your affection?"
I knew that you were perfect,
From the second that we spoke
It was as if I'd fallen into a dream,
And gladly I never woke
For wrapped up in your arms
I found my greatest desire
Someone to make me feel alright,
Regardless of what may transpire
I used to dread the future,
There was so much left unknown.
But as long as I've got you
I will always have a home.
The Story of Girls and BoysSee that girl?The Story of Girls and Boys3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She made him smile on his worst days,
She stayed up to talk to him every night.
He made mistakes but she forgave him always,
He ignored her - he knew that wasn't right.
He didn't care, took her love for granted;
He expected her to always just be there.
She liked him but she wasn't what he wanted,
He dated other girls, she tried not to care.
Finally, she left, didn't want to wait forever
She found a better guy who liked her too.
This guy saw her potential, he adored her;
His intentions with her were honest and true.
Seeing them together made him realize something:
Without her, he was stuck in a lonely world.
All he had left was the memory of her leaving,
He had lost out on one amazing, special girl.
Society's FreaksThis world is cruelSociety's Freaks3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
if you're different from the rules,
but there is a place
for unknown faces,
where the freaks unite
ignoring society's insult-packed bites
Yet they don't give in
to this world's sins.
They keep their march steady,
they're always ready
to get up, ignoring the disapproval everyone sends
til the pain and darkness is at an end.
One day, you will have to choose a path
along with the sins, whether greed or wrath,
choose the path different from the rest,
because that is where you'll shine best.
Why Does It Have to be You?Yes, yes, I know.Why Does It Have to be You?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This is a mistake...
loving you, that is.
Yes, I know last time it ended badly,
but can I deny my heart of what
it truly wants?
I try, darling,
really I do.
But I'm addicted to you.
Love is a curse - binding me to the depths of hell...
all because its unrequited?
How is that fair?
You light up my world
and make me smile.
It's an impressing feat these days.
I blush when I read your texts.
I smile when I send one back,
blushing, of course.
Why are you the one that races through my mind?
Why are you the one invading my dreams?
And most of all...
Why do I still love you?
I Could Be WorseWould you rather I was a whore,I Could Be Worse3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Or a bore,
Or maybe something a little more,
Than that which I am?
Would you rather I was a bitch,
Or a witch,
Or a scratch for you to itch,
Instead of being me?
Would you rather I was a liar,
Or a crier,
Or someone to lift your pride higher,
As opposed to this pointless screw-up?
Would you rather I was a sheep,
Or simply less of a so-called creep,
In the place of that who I am?
I don't care about perfect,
I don't care about being liked,
I just want to be happy,
I want to be more than crappy,
In a world full of Me and You;
Them and Us,
When there should be no fuss,
Because we are who we are,
So if you want me to be as dull as tar,
I have one thing to say that might just get through;
And that thing is "fuck you."
I Hate That I Love YouI hate that you're my every thoughtI Hate That I Love You3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That I wake with you on my mind
And fall asleep
To images of your smile
I hate that I adore you so
With gorgeous eyes
And sweet lips
I long to taste
I hate the way you make me feel
Like I need you to survive
As if breathing without you
I hate that I yearn for you
I hunger for your touch
Of every day
I hate the way I love you
With every beat
Of my wretched heart
That loving you keeps me alive
Yet keeps me alone
LoyalLoyal3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Holding hands? A clever way of fighting off the cold
Telling every secret so they don't remain untold
Laughing, though he's said it oh so many times before
Staring deep into his eyes to open rusted doors
Staying up to talk to him, but only for support
Innocent intentions others do tend to distort
Kissing him so gently, promises until the end
Can't destroy this happiness with such a loyal friend
Will you be my home?Will you be my homeWill you be my home?2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
My gentle security?
Will you lift me away
With the caress of your arms
Warm me wholly
With the slighest brush
Of your lips?
Will you be my shelter
Even from my own tears?
Will you let me take you for granted
Let me wrap you around me
And rock me to my dreams?
Will you hide me away
Be the place of my safety
Be my happiness
Sheilded from a world of sadness,
Will you be my home,
My gentle security
Silently filling my life with love?
Stand aloneA girl stands,Stand alone3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Alone and weak
As insults rain down
Across her rosy cheeks
Staining once pure skin
Is a knife to her heart.
Just kill yourself
No one would care
Silently she moves
Their taunting words
Haunting her every move
Where are you going?
Oh wait it doesn't matter
No one would love a bitch like you.
When she gets home,
Her mother doesn't ask
How she is
She goes to her room,
Cries more than she ever has before
And wishes for her life to end
As she falls asleep
She prays for some escape
From her personal hell.
Then she awakens the next day
To begin it all over again
Who would ever love a girl like her?
Dying HeartThe silence screams so loud I can't hear myself say:Dying Heart3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I loved you with all of my heart.
I cried continuously, I wanted you to stay,
But as I wanted you more, we fell apart.
So far from each other, we don't talk;
Barely look at me as you pass me in the hall...
You make as if you don't see me walk,
Walk right by you, you don't notice at all.
Now I've moved on, I guess you did too -
I don't want you so bad no more.
The butterflies are gone, they left with you;
My dying heart beats one last time on the floor.
Discarded.You cry for your sorrows and you bleed for your dreams,Discarded.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just always remember, this world is not what it seems.
You can be the best of friends and then disappear,
They'll just discard you, I know it's hard to hear.
But this has happened enough to me,
It's all everyone's been doing recently.
So here I lie, discarded, fearing to stand up,
Because what waits just isn't worth getting up.
Thrown away and lying in a puddle of mud and blood,
All the other times I got up, and wiped off the mud.
But this time, as I lie here, broken and bloody,
I don't want to get up, I want to be a dead body.
I know getting up is inevitable, because I will never give in,
But I really just want to give up and say that "I'm done in."
AddictionMy friend who supports meAddiction3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My friend who kills me
My friend who loves me
and who I certainly love.
Will you give it to me
Your narcotic vengeance
Which I crave so much
and I want it to take me
Oh, my putrid friend
My sweet enemy
Will you take my conciousness
and leave it behind?
I love you my strange friend.
Give me what I want.
and you shall have me
For your disposal.
I Take It SlowThis feeling of life passing me is backI Take It Slow3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Makes me feel like I'm on the wrong track.
Everyone has a life they are living
Makes me think: is it worth all the giving?
Am I the one who has to fade away?
Giving myself is a price I must pay.
Destined to be a living sacrifice
Wandering between the naughty and the nice.
No big moment stands out from the past year
Neither moments of joy, anger or fear.
Rather the moments that I think are sweet
Feeling the sea sand covering my feet.
Others rush their lives, but I take it slow
Making memories, leaving a warm glow.
I don't follow the footsteps of a fail
Instead I make my own and leave a trail.
Those grey skies don't mirror what I'm feeling
My face is blank but my heart is smiling.
NightmaresI don't want to fall asleepNightmares3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I can't bare to close my eyes
I can't stand what's inside my head
Be it made of truth or lies
'Cause when I fall asleep
The nightmares take place
The worst things I can imagine
Scarier than any screaming face
In my dreams
I see you there
But you're hurting me on purpose
And you don't seem to care
I see you with other girls
And you look so happy
And I'm stood there screaming
Telling you it should be me
But you're not listening
You're too busy having fun
I can't get away from what I'm seeing
No matter how much I try to run
I'm seeing you with girlfriends
I've never even heard of
Telling them they're beautiful
As I start to sob
Then I wake up in the dark
And I'm lying here alone
With no one here to comfort me
Just me on my own
You may think the worst part is over
But it's only just begun
'Cause when I go back to sleep
I know I'll have another one
Nightmares that leave me crying
When I wake up in bed
Wishing every night
That they would stay out my head
But I kno
What do you say?What do you sayWhat do you say?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when "I'm sorry," isn't enough?
What do you say
when "I love you," doesn't mean a thing?
What do you say
when she's out there with someone else?
What do you say
when words won't do?
What do I say
when you don't believe...
that I honestly still love you?
Lovely AnneI once met a girl named AnneLovely Anne3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and what a lovely girl was she.
She sat in corners and talked
and talked when no one listened.
While lovely Anne was so lovely
no one went near lovely Anne
and her never-ending talking.
Lovely Anne with black hair
and dark skin. Never listened
to the voice of society.
Lovely Anne talked of a world
so unlike our own.
No one went near her,
but everyone listened
to the thoughts of a wonderful world.
Lovely Anne lived in a world
where the clocks struck thirteen
where everyone loved
where everyone smiled
and tears were never shed.
The walls and floors
objects and papers
that she talked to day and night
held to her words
and wished for her world.
Poor Lovely Anne had no friends.
But lived in a world that was entirely her own.
Lovely Anne who never left her world
and thought reality was imaginary.
I amI am,I am3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The beginning of the end,
And the end of the beginning.
The middle of the introduction,
And the intro to the 20-years-later.
I am endless,
In this maze of time.
I am a cycle,
Living in a straight line.
I am unique,
In this world of monochrome.
And I am boring,
In this world of constant change.
I am someone,
Where no one has a name.
I am no one,
Where everyone's the same.
I am the opposite of antonym,
And the antonym of synonym.
I am the nonsensical part of your mind.
I am the logical part of your heart.
I am the thing that doesn't exist.
But yet I am right here.
I am the thing that will never desist,
Hold this guessing game to the end.
PainThe gaps between my fingersPain3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Were there for yours to fill -
All too late I realised:
Love is an intense uphill.
It leaves you out of breath,
Choking, gasping for air...
Your lungs don't get oxygen
You are drowning in despair.
Like a never-ending hailstorm
Or like penetrating rain,
Wearing you down to your core,
You're pummelled by the pain.
It breaks through your defences
And enters your guarded heart;
Just when you think you're okay,
Anguish rips your world apart.
You can't watch a romantic movie,
You can't listen to a love song
Because they remind you of life
Before everything went wrong.
Release is all you're craving
As your peace is completely faded;
You only wish (this one time)
It wasn't your heart that was traded.
You crave him, want him, need him,
You can't find him anywhere
And the tears just don't stop coming
And he doesn't seem to care.
You carry your broken heart with you
Through wind, sunshine and rain too;
Fake a smile, pretend it's okay,
That missing him's not killing you
If it was your last day?If today was your last day...If it was your last day?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
what would you do?
If you only had moments to live...
how would you spend that time?
would you try to live out your dearest dreams?
If you only had moments to live with me...
would you spend it with me
would you spend it with some one else?
If you only had moments to...
realize something important
what would it be?
who would you want to tell?
If you had moments to live...
what would your thoughts be?
would it be dearest memories
of you and me?
or of some one else,
stories told to you or you told?
If you only had moments to live...
and you could change something,
what would it be?
If you only had one last breath...
what would it whisper
and to who would you want it to be for?
If it was your las
Come Back To MeWhat is it girlCome Back To Me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What did I do
Why won't you talk to me
What happened to us two
How did I hurt you
And in which way
What can I do to make it up
To make everything okay
You mean the world to me
And I'll do everything within my power
To see you smile again
And bloom like a flower
What's in it for me
Is nothing but your smile
It makes me complete
It makes living worthwhile
I'm not saying to forget this
But merely put it aside
Focus on the more important things
Like my heart, where you truly reside
Don't quit on me now
We need to pull through this
And when we do
We'll share nothing but bliss
Come back to me girl
It'll be like the good old days
I won't lose you forever
We won't go our separate ways
My Eternal CurseMy Eternal Curse:My Eternal Curse3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Since the time I was awakened,
From the dawn I lived and breathed.
I have always walked alone,
For I carry a dark disease.
No matter where I go,
No matter where I'm born.
Always it will reveal itself,
Always I am torn.
The moon will shine from cloudless heavens,
And soon the change will take it's place.
My fangs will grow and fur will sprout,
It is my deep and dark disgrace...
Silverback, they called me,
Bane of men and beast alike.
Knights and templar, each and all,
Sought to have me on a pike.
I've killed so many countless men,
They are faceless in my waking dreams.
Bones shall litter the depths of my lair,
As I wash the blood away in streams.
I seek not an end to my torment and pain,
But leave me now in peace to die.
Or come into the den of evil,
And your head will be the first to fly.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 26th February 2012