Humorous Religion Questions 2Humorous Religious questions 2Humorous Religion Questions 24 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
1. If a drunk person randomly comes into your church meeting during a prayer and starts yelling who-knows-what, how do you respond?
A. Grab something to throw at him to shut him up.
B. Loudly shush him and then go back to folding your arms.
C. Laugh out loud from the crazy scenario.
D. Just be quiet and be reverent and try your best to patiently wait.
E. Jump out of your seat and tackle the guy or push him out of the room.
F. Some other answer
2. You feel like you're about to cry during your talk/testimony what do you do?
A. You cry anyway, holding nothing back.
B. Hold back your tears because you hate crying in public no matter how long it takes for the feeling to go away.
C. Sniffle and blink for a few
PnF: Vocal Blues ch3Linda called up to her boys again, once fifteen minutes had passed and Phineas had not yet come down to do the dishes. This time, however, both teenagers came running down the stairs upon her calling. Considering it had been the first time her youngest son had not obediently come down the first try, Linda decided against scolding him and immediately set him to the task.PnF: Vocal Blues ch34 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Ferb was asked to sweep the floor in the meantime.
"Isabella called while you boys were busy doing whatever it is you do up there," Linda announced as she cleaned the counters. "She wanted to speak to you, Phineas, but I told her that you had your hands caught up. Apparently, your cellphone was off "
Ferb raised his head and looked at Phineas. Because of his friendship with Isabella, Phineas hardly ever turned his cell phone off. He always had it on, keeping himself available to her whenever she needed someone to speak to. Even though Phineas was still completely oblivious to the fact that Isabella had a crush on h
Decembersville Ch. 10Decembersville Ch. 106 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chapter 10: A very anxious circus freak called Pendulum Tin
In the name of all that is expensive and worth something, you clowns get your tin cans out there NOW! the ringmaster screamed backstage to all the performers. Many of them emitted sounds of whining and one of the performers under the name Juliza Star said, Aw, cut us some slack, boss! We went on about fifteen times in thirty minutes!
Carvel Hare, the small pink bunny plush doll with broken button eyes and a mad sewn up mouth mocked her words, Cut us sum swack, boss! Wah wah wah wah! This is why were going out of business! Now you, you, you, you, and you get out there and make those people happy!
All ten performers groaned and slinked out the curtains. The bitter ringmaster screamed at them through his gritted sharp sewn teeth, HAPPY! As in SMILING, you buncha saps! SMILING! SMI-LING!!
The Mind Reader part 1The Mind Reader part 14 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The Mind Reader: Oops...Wrong Button!
"Let's go bro," Phineas said as he went with his brother into the house for their tools. Phineas kept an eye on his brother; Ferb was acting really weird, he didn't speak, though it was usual, but he was avoiding Phineas's glance. "Ferb," he called his brother. The green haired boy didn't answer, and Phineas went upstairs following his brother to their room. "Hey Ferb, talk to me."
"About what?" Ferb took their tools out from a closet. He was still blushing.
"You are acting weird, and your face looks like a tomato," Phineas said as he let his brother pass by his side, "and now you have an idea, a weird, but cool idea."
"It's just an idea," Ferb replied as he went downstairs. "Plus, I think you like the idea of the age controller."
Phineas blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, going downstairs. Ferb gave him an "Oh yeah?" look.
"Yes," Phineas replied frustrated.
The Flynn-Fletcher brothers exited the house.
Things I will Risk For You c14The minutes ticked by until nearly half-an-hour had been wasted. Perry did what he could to keep his emotions masked, although it was becoming more and more of a challenge. He wanted out of the cage to give them a piece of his mind, as well as go and rescue his owners.Things I will Risk For You c143 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
None of the agents that had left earlier to search for the boys returned, which meant that they were still outside hunting them. That could only mean that they were still alive or else injured and hiding. Perry prayed it was the former, but whichever it was, they were still alive.
All he had to wait for now was for someone to open his cage.
"Have they been taken care of yet?" the bald man asked one of his men.
There was a momentary pause before Perry heard a reply. "Not yet, Sir," a man spoke up. "Apparently, the boys sent them on a wild goosechase."
"Just make sure they don't leave this base," the one in charge ordered. "I want them both dead before morning."
"But what about Major Monogra!"
"Major Monogram doesn't
The Accident: Part 2 of 2The Accident: Part 2 of 25 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Jazz was already at home, doing her homework in the study room, when Danny and his friends came over. There was a loud BANG against the front door, causing the sixteen-year-old to jump out of her chair in fright and stare at the door.
There was a pause before she heard anything. "ONE, TWO, THREE, I WIIIIIINNNN!!!" came the excited hollers of two teenage boys.
The red-headed girl sat back down and glared at the door in irritation. "Danny, you dork," she muttered before returning to her studies.
The doorknob turned and the door flew open, sending Danny and Tucker flying to the floor beside each other. "OOF!!" they both shouted as they landed. Tuckers glasses tumbled off of his face and his beret flipped onto Danny's head instead.
Sam walked over them, not caring by the least that she stepped at least once on their backs. "You guys are so pathetic, sometimes, it's hard to believe," she said with a yawn.
"We're not pathetic," Danny replied as he got to his knees. Tucker slowly raise
Decembersville Ch. 16Decembersville Ch. 166 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chapter 16 - A freaky make-over by the freak Nutty Jimmy
His name is Nutty Jimmy and hes my older brother. Ive told him you are in need of assistance and all depending on his mood, you may or may not make it out in one piece because lately that brat has been whining about not getting too many brains in his stomach because he ran out of friends to chew on. Dont argue with him or ask him questions because half the time you WILL NOT understand A WORD hes talking about. Hes an idiot too, so dont expect him to understand what you are saying as well. Just shut up and dont argue and if hes doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, then that means hes in a happy mood. Oh, and just accept your fate when I mean IF it comes. Its useless to run from this guy. He refers to himself in third person most of the time and if he begins to dance, then that means hes a
Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 1Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Out of Place
A Skyrim Fanfic Series
Chapter 1 (Feb 9, 2012)
Fredas, 20th of Sun's Dusk, 4E 201
(November 19th, 2011)
It was early June. The 6th, I think. At the time I'm writing this, the date is a bit fuzzy. I wish I would have started writing down my accounts early on, but considering the circumstances, I didn't really have any way to do so.
Anyway. I was staring out the window of my new bedroom. The sun was high in the sky, so it was sometime just after 12, maybe 2-ish. I wasn't used to living on my own. I somehow managed to find a small house in the country area. It isn't that easy to find the perfect small house, fit for one person, out in the country. I'm just not fond of living in the city with an apartment complex. For a single woman, it just isn't smart. Call me traditional, but I'd sooner have a man around, even if I'm fairly capable. Sure, I know how to shoot a gun pretty well, but what happens if some intruder has one? But I'm work
What happens to escapeesThe cogs in her head accelerated as she thought. There could not come anything good out of this. The girl bit her lip as she went over what to do. She wanted to, no, needed to get out and away from the circus. There was no one between her and the way out, but the ringleader had his head turned to her. She waited.What happens to escapees5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
She had to wait, or else she would miss her chance.
As the ringleader turned his head away she got the chance. Quickly and quietly she got out of her seat and silently tried to sneak away without being noticed. It went good at first, and she was just about to leave the tent as she felt someone watching her. Looking over her shoulder she saw the ringleader, watching her with his grin. She froze a good couple of seconds, before dashing towards the exit.
Unfortunately, the artists had suspected it would happen. Before she could reach the free air a snake tail wrapped around her leg and a Lamia picked her up, smiling a little.
"Think you can get away, kid?", she giggled, kissing t
Losing WonderlandIve always been grateful that despite my stupidity, Ive had a good sense of imagination. It was the one thing I could count on when I wanted to prove myself to someone, the one thing that was able to comfort me when I didnt.Losing Wonderland5 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Was, at least.
Things do not always stay the way you want them to. Sad yes, but true. We all grow up at some point, and soon what little child-like innocence we had left is eaten away by the cruelty of life. These days it is only getting worse; childhood seems to last only for a few years and soon children are no longer children, but smaller versions of adults, walking around swearing and spewing and talking about topics too old for them. And when they get older, they regret it for the rest of their lives, and regret ever saying I want to grow up.
Some are lucky. Some can escape the world for a few moments and wander into the recess of their minds, where all dreams and fantasies seem to come to life. Imagination is the on
The Accident: Part 1 of 2The Accident: Part 1 of 25 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Danny was not planning on having a good day that Monday morning. Once again, there was school, and once again, his parents had kept him up with the racket in their laboratory.
It had been that way for several weeks, now. Since they began, neither Danny nor Jazz were allowed in the basement, although there was no doubt his sister would never set foot in there anyhow; since she had turned thirteen three years earlier, she had considered her parents to be crazy, and had begun to try and find different ways to convince them of letting their ghost hunting obsessions go.
Which was always easier than done.
Brrrrooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Clank! Clank! Brrrrrrrrrr
Danny groaned as he slipped his white t-shirt over his body and pulled his head through. "How long do they expect to keep this up?" he pouted. After a yawn, he slipped his socks over his feet and grabbed his red sneakers. "If I don't get some sleep soon, I won't last another day through school."
He checked his
PnF: Vocal Blues ch5After offering Vanessa something to drink, Ferb led them upstairs into his and Phineas' room. Phineas got the entire computer system set up as quickly as he could before handing it over to his brother; the system had been another one of Phineas' ideas, although Ferb had organized it in a manner which would not stimulate any suspicions from their parents. Normally, Phineas was the one who spoke to the computer when it gave results, but because he was unable to communicate, he handed the role over to Ferb.PnF: Vocal Blues ch54 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"You didn't rig it like the Vault lights, did you?" Ferb asked.
Phineas stuck out his tongue, making Vanessa laugh. Ferb grinned in reply before beginning to type on the keyboard. "Good afternoon," he said aloud.
The computer screen lit up. "Name and Password please," it spoke.
"Oh wow," Vanessa said in awe, leaning over Ferb's chair. "You guys designed it to speak too?"
"When you have as much of an imagination as Phineas does, and as much experience in mechanics as I do, then i
The Clockwork cities - intro Not many people know of the Clockwork Cities, but the truth is, they've always been there. For every time and place, there was a clockwork counterpart, and behind every ticking clock, was a door that leads there. All it took was to find a big enough clock and search for the passage. Easier said than done, of course.The Clockwork cities - intro5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Finding a big clock was one thing. A tourist, for example, would have a hard time trying to convince those seemingly nice people in white coats to let him inside the Big Ben so he can visit another world, and that he hadn't bashed his head against the wall after missing yet another tour bus.
However, those who were lucky (or more likely unlucky) enough to end up in a Clockwork city would tell you that it was the worst possible name you could give to it, as Time made absolutely no sense there. The whole city operated like a broken clock, which is to say, it hardly operated at all.
Past and Future: Part 1The puddle rippled as Edd stepped in it, rippling the reflection that glared back at him. His green hoodie soaked from the downpour that had let up five minutes before. His chocolate hair drooped wet and heavy over his eyes, the stress of college and adventures showing on his face. He kicked an empty cola can, mouth watering as he saw the red lable of his favorite drink.Past and Future: Part 13 years ago in Drama More Like This
Tom held his face low, his hood over his dirt-colored spiked hair. He had to be careful out in public. At home it was no problem, as well as the university, but pubic was a different matter altogether. More than once had his "special feature" attracted crowds. He shuddered at that thought. Now he holds his head low, making sure he sees nothing but the sides of his blue hoodie, his friends' feet, and the grey of the sidewalk.
Matt walked sloppily next to them, flipping a coin out of habit in his hand, a coin he found in a garbage can along the road. His ginger hair fell into his eyes in shame. He wasn't like
PnF: Vocal Blues ch17It had been very difficult for Perry to create a secret entrance to his lair for growing boys like Phineas and Ferb. Once Major Monogram had allowed them access to OWCA information, Perry had built an elevator that would take the boys from their bedroom closet to his lair beneath the house. He warned them never to use it unless it was for an emergency such as this; but knowing Phineas' unending curiosity, Perry was not the least bit surprised that the boys had taken the elevator simply to go through some of the platypus' spy gear.PnF: Vocal Blues ch174 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
They took this entrance to the lair, since it was the only one that could properly fit both Vanessa and Ferb at the same time. It was not a long ride, considering Perry always had to be in his lair in a hurry. When the doors parted and Perry dashed into the giant underground headquarters, Vanessa was the only one who eyed the area in awe.
"Oh. My. Gosh," she said in disbelief. "You mean all this time, Perry had this under your house and you never kn
PnF: Vocal Blues ch20Candace looked at the clock hanging over the exit in the hall over the Danville arena. It was five after seven. Dinner had come and gone; food was still out in case people wished to eat; there were trays of desert and a giant cake that the school's head chef decided to make for the event. High school students were dancing around on the floor in front of the empty stage to music the DJ was playing. Parents and teachers remained seated at the tables in the back and attempted to converse over the happy shouts and cheers of the student body.PnF: Vocal Blues ch204 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Candace moaned softly and tapped her foot beneath the red dress she had chosen to wear. Her hair was down and curled, but at the moment she did not even care if some makeup was out of place. The reason the DJ was still playing was because the band that was scheduled to play was missing two singers.
Phineas and Ferb were still absent.
When Linda and Lawrence arrived with the instruments, they mentioned to their daughter that Ferb had gone to some place
Decembersville Ch. 5Decembersville Ch. 56 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chapter 5: The City of Freaks and the Ax-Handed Boy
There are one or two troubles with dreams, ladies and gentlemen: dreams are beautiful but could become the downfall of some. Dreams tell the dreamer of fantasies that can corrupt ones imagination what with the absurdities that can swim through them yet at the same time could cure insanity. They told what was real, what was unreal, what was safe, what was dangerous warnings. The possibility of being blinded by the fantasy of a dream is grand but there is a humongous percentage doubting that as well; a win-lose subject, I should say. But, as some times happen, the logic of many could become blindfolded by their denial that what they stumbled across was just totally impossible.
Let us take a haunted dimension as our example.
"This is not real this is not real " Sophia repeated to herself unwillingly as she remained still right at the archway to the city. Body frozen,
Puppy Days Ch 4 Yin and YangPuppy Days Ch 4 Yin and Yang4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter Four: Yin and Yang
Poof cowered in horror as the green puppy he'd accidentally tumbled into whirled on him, exposing his teeth in a startled snarl. He choked on a whimper as suddenly the creature turned into something that obviously wasn't a puppy. Suddenly grown into a massive dog, he towered over the tiny fairy-just one of his dangerously clawed paws was the same size as Poof. His eyes had lost their pupils and were completely red, like blood; and then they focused directly on Poof.
The canine-shaped fairy scrambled away, his small semi-floppy ears folded back in terror and his tail tucked in. Some sort of ingrained instinct told him this strange shape-shifting beast wasn't a fairy and the powers he had weren't magic-he had a dark aura that counteracted Poof's natural purity. If only he could disappear! Poof's eyes widened and he felt chills wash across his body as he realized he'd dropped his rattle.
Where was it? He had just been holding it! The fetid stench
Starscream and Percy Drabble2Petformers DrabblesStarscream and Percy Drabble25 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Perceptor sighed with sadness as he sat in his backyard. He was so bored, Wheeljack was busy and couldn't come over and play with him. He lets his mind wander trying to think about how he could stop his boredom.
For some reason he starts to wonder what Starscream was up to. It had been over a week since he had last seen the Abyssinian cat, their last meeting was when he was forced to stay at his house to stay out of a storm.
Perceptor smiles as he remembered how generous Starscream had been to him, but he blushed when he started to think about the kiss Starscream had given him before he left. Even though it was just a quick peck on the lips, Perceptor couldn't help but think about how nice it felt.
He decided he had had enough thinking about Starscream and decided to go visit him. Perceptor jumped over the fence and started to heading towards the warehouse were he last saw Starscream.
Now Perceptor had to be careful because he was wandering into Decep
Rin's Bad DreamRin's Bad Dream6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Rins Bad Dream
Running. Thats all she could do. She could feel her heart racing as her feet flew beneath her. The pack of wolves were right on her tail and with no place to hide in this dark & gloomy wasteland, she didnt know how much longer she could go on. Never had she felt so helpless. Where was Lord Sesshomaru? He always came to save her. Fear & loneliness tightened in her stomach as she pushed herself into the darkness.
Please help me lord Sesshomaru... her plea more of a mental wish... since she had no breath to voice it. Suddenly, a monstrous Wolf appeared before her, towering over her like a mountain, almost causing her to trip in fear. Stumbling to a stop she gasped in horror as she realized what the wolf held in its mouth... Sesshomaru.
It was a terrible sight. H
Decembersville Ch. 6Chapter 6: Craziness is not on the streetsDecembersville Ch. 66 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chimabell! For gods sake, answer me you little brat! screamed Campara, a foul-mouthed thirty-year-old woman with a long black dress and a vulture-like walk.
She forced open the metal door before her with a kick and glared down below at the gear-infested factory in the underground chamber. Sparks of ember glided across the smoky channel and she could see the many prisoners in white masks and chains pounding down on iron objects going down the industrial line.
Campara frustratingly flew down into the smoky, fiery unit and began scanning the entire occupied area until she finally found her little brother Chimabell sitting at a high level watching boxes get thrown into the furnace. He laughed cutely each time a box went in and got burned. Then his small attention was finally caught.
Ello, sister! Ooh. Are you mad at me?
Letter to Certain CharactersThis has to end. NOW.Letter to Certain Characters5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
You two used to be best friends. You shared laughs, caused mischief together and were practically brothers. But now... look at what's happening to the both of you, and everyone you care about.
Admittedly, you two weren't saints to begin with. After all, one of you steals energy from young unsuspecting dreamers and gives them nightmares, while the other is a four-armed Ringleader ghost with an appetite for human flesh. But even when my friends and I got in trouble with you, it was better; at least you were working together.
Now, everyone is suffering because of the war you two have waged on each other. Ringleader, you kidnapped the one person your best friend truly loved. Why? To get some stupid dream secret you didn't even need. After that, you used what he taught you to prove you were better than him at his own game, that you were the one who should be feared the most.
In the process your friendship was ruined, and not only did you hurt your wif
Light Up the Sky"Hé! Débarques de ma batterie!"Light Up the Sky3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"I do not understand you when you speak French, Raphael."
"It means get off of my drumset, or get a bop on the head!"
Perak stuck out his tongue while tightening the red bandana around his neck. "It is not yours, it belongs to the school," he said.
"But I am the one who plays it for band practice, so move your sorry bum off of that seat before I give it a kick!" Ralph snapped while rolling up his sleeve.
From his chair in the corner of the music room, sixteen-year-old Galileo groaned tiredly while closing his eyes. He was balancing on the back legs of the chair, his arms folded behind his head. "Would you two just knock it off?" he muttered. "We're here to do band practice; not start a wrestling match."
"Tell him to get off of my drumset!" Ralph ordered while pointing at the Indonesian teenager.
Perak swatted his friend's hand aside. "The school's drum set," he corrected.
Galileo rolled his eyes just as Madison rose to her
Decembersville Ch. 11Chapter 11: Car chase Downtown!!Decembersville Ch. 116 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
That early winter morning, outside Carvel's Circus, Zero and Sophia and Pendulum Tin were staring with wide open eyes at the lamp post. There was taped paper on it with a notice:
WANTED!! Human Girl Child; small in stature, whitish blond hair, short, big eyes and a whole lot of bratty attitude! She's a bad person and is to be reported to the nearest member of the Dolls for instant extermination!! Love, your mayor (aw, you know who I am).
Sophia turned away from it and looked at her friendly misfits saying, "Was somebody watching me!? How do they know how I look like!?"