Riding in the back of a car in the dimly lamplight 9:00. Bumps punctuating the forest to either side. How had that conversation started? The middle:
"Well, my sister "
Fingers slithering towards wrist. A casual stiffening of shoulders at contact, synchronized perfectly with the sound of the title. After the explanation:
"I don't want them to put me in therapy because I cry or something."
They had no right sitting that 3rd grader in a green chair across from a lady with spiky blond hair. The uncomfortable chair always kept reserved for the entrance of a doubly braided head next to a plusher couch. The chair always occupied.
"Well, I'm depressed so I kind of need that "
"So am I."
Measured exhale. Fingers alert at wrist. But why?
"Really? You always seem so happy "
"Yeah masks." An ironic grin to no one. Even scrambling nails couldn't tuck away that concept eagerly jotted down by two poets so long ago.
A flash of light from one
ButterflyButterfly2 years ago in Scraps More Like This
Make your mark
heavy and dark
early every morning
Don't worry about that
excess intoxication that
downs your leg
the salty seas
will wash it all
melt you into the tiles
where nerves can
feel for you.
Make your mark
heavy and dark
tracing those clots
into trembling wings
after stains of
the salty seas
will wash it all away
and the skin
you've been caressing
BrokenBroken hearted,Broken2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My scars revealed
Slowly I fall
My mask slipping
My hope lost
Ive been broken
Hurt and betrayed
I was healing
Now I worry
I may break
My scars revealed
Ive been hurt
Scars piling up
My life gone
The choice.Do I want to die?The choice.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know.
How would I die?
A slow and painful death?
Or quick and painless?
Does it really matter to you?
I suppose not.
I just want to escape.
Run away to a land far beyond.
Beyond the world that I thought I once knew.
The world that has turned so cold.
So cold, its driving me to this.
My own death.
But that's oaky.
I'm happy to go.
Happy to be dead.
I wouldn't have to worry.
Worry, bout the petty things in life.
Bout, the lies and betrayal.
Just that light, at the end of the tunnel.
No one will notice.
There won't have to be no apologies.
I'll be just like a ghost.
Here one day, gone the next.
Care free and happy, in my new world.
Where I can be anyone I wanna be.
Without the judging.
And the hurt.
A place where I'll finally call 'home'.
NoiseSilence: too loud! Turned down volume.Noise1 year ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
My Rules For When I Want To CutPlease, use them. If these even work for one person, it will be worth everything.My Rules For When I Want To Cut1 year ago in Emotional More Like This
My rules for when I want to cut myself:
1. write about it
2. snap hair ties against wrist
3. listen to:
Heart's A Mess-Gotye http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvbSiQZfACQ
Fix You-Colplay http://www.youtube.com/watch?vY9b6jgbNyc
Beautiful Disaster-Jon Mclaughlin http://www.youtube.com/watch?vYn6_LRk_Fg
How To Love- Lil Wayne (also watch the music video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Gf4-eT3w0
Fuckin Perfect-P!nk (also watch the music video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k
Somewhere Only We Know (Glee Cover) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR2uxRQ7Wac
PillsPills, gummy worms, a glass of iced teaPills2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A stack of books, a sketchbook, the television on mute
My life in a nutshell, silent but screaming out
A desperate voice
When you say my name I follow
But you could never really call my name
For I am two pills away from being yours.
Over and Over AgainOver and Over Again...Over and Over Again2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A girl jumped today,
From a building.
A boy fell today,
From a bridge.
A teen leaped today,
Off a cliff.
A grown-up flew today,
With the birds while falling to their death.
And it will continue to happen......
Over and Over Again
Don't fear your fearsDon't fear your fears2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If you let fear drive you into hiding,
then you have lost and all hope is gone.
Crashed PaperCrashed Paper2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She may seem tall as a skyscraper,
But inside she's destroyed like crashed paper.
"Do you see this crack?
Yesterday you called me fat.
Do you see this scratch?
You made it feel like a punch.
Do you see this rip?
I still can't smile because of it"
Now try fixing it back to the way it was before,
But this kind of scars will always feel sore.
Know thyselfKnow thyself2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You feel the shame in your heart.
You are scared. Still you stand tall.
You turn your head.
A quick glance at the ones behind you.
They're laughing. For what reason?
You know your boundaries, your own flaws.
You know who you are, they don't.
If they are laughing with you, you join in on the fun.
If they are laughing at you, you laugh along with them.
At the end of the day, either way, you are the one laughing.
InvincibleInvincibleInvincible2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If they won't notice me, I'll cut a hole in reality and make them see.
I will make them see the blood and pain.
They will stand in shock.
They will notice me.
They will see me.
Cut Out My LifeI once wanted a puppyCut Out My Life2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Something small to hold
Only for me
I once desired a life of music
Of teaching what I knew
What I loved most
What I lived for
One wrong decision
One minor mistake
Made multiple huge disasters
For one short life
I would cry as I walked to the bathroom
Carrying that object I so well knew
Its handle placed gently in the palm of my hand
The blade sticking straight out
But yet when I pierced my skin
Not a tear was shed
As if I wanted it
As if I needed it
I lived only to do what I knew best
I wanted it so much
I gave myself everything I wanted
To an extent
I wanted a deeper wound
To feel the blood run down my arm
To see it fill in the indents of past scars
And to prove the hatred toward my life
'Twas I, barely a month ago
Quitting was the best thing
Do I still feel the urge?
Well, of course
But I live through them
For I will never break a promise
I made only to the one I love
For he is all that keeps me sane
I have a puppy
I play my music
And I live for what
what hasnt killed me has made me strongerDid anyone ever tell you how if something doesn't kill you it will make you stronger? im pretty sure that saying comes from the kids who were put through hell with bullying. My story is lived by many, bullied to the point where they want to die. My story is full of teachers who sat around and did nothing. My story isn't as bad as others, but sadly it's a common one. Ive been put through hell, hit, taunted, and out casted, but to this day I am stronger and I always stand up for what I believe is right. My twin brother, the one that should've protected me, was the cause for most of my torment. Everyday I was slammed against lockers, told I was nothing, a worthless bitch. One day I realized that, who I am now, is a hell of a lot better than who I was. I'm stronger, happier and ive learned to take life to the fullest because I might not be here tomorrow. Today I take my place on stage; I look out at the audience and see my tormentors, I know that im going somewhere and that im stronger thawhat hasnt killed me has made me stronger2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The DoorThe Door5 years ago in Other More Like This
I stood in front of this door for a long, long time
Stood and knocked until my fingers bled
Kneeling on the ground, I wept for ages
And kept repeating the words that Id said
Id said, Wont someone please open up?
No one will ever let me inside .
Im alone and afraid . Wont someone
Bind my wounds and dry these tears Ive cried?
But no one even answered my pleas
Even when I got down on my knees
Dont know what this pain is for
But wont someone please just open this door .
These scars on my wrists dont mean anything
Not to any of you, you dont understand
Ive torn my heart, ripping down these walls,
Yet you dont see, ignore me cause you can
What concern am I to you anyways?
What do you care if I lay down and die?
My presence is nothing to you
You cant see me as you walk by .
Its cold out here but Im guessing
Its colder inside by the way you are
30 Day Letter: To a Deceased PersonDear Phoebe,30 Day Letter: To a Deceased Person2 years ago in Letters More Like This
I never knew you and yet my heart goes out to you. To me, you're more than just a face in the news, you're someone who I deeply emphasize with.
When I looked at your picture, the first thing I noticed was your smile, that smile that made you look beautiful. Yes, to me and I'm sure to a lot of others, you are beautiful and those who disagree are jealous.
A lot of hearts go out to you Phoebe, including people who've never met you before, including me. A lot of people you did know miss you girl, especially your friends and family, the ones who loved you the most.
If I ever knew you, I would of stood by you and helped you, if I ever knew you, I'd stand up for you and defend you, if I ever knew you, I wouldn't listen to the things being said about you, if I ever knew you, I'd be a friend. I'd listen to everything you'd say and support you all the way and help you through that painful time. If I knew you Phoebe, I would of saved you. I would of saved you from taking y
Can You Hear Me?"I want it to end. The suffering, the pain, the weariness, just everything.Can You Hear Me?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want to stop feeling like a knife has been dug into my chest, and is being twisted with every insult, being pushed in deeper with every insecurity and doubt.
I want to stop crying. Just, for one day, to not have to sit with tears pouring down my cheeks, with my arms wrapped round myself, slowly rocking.
I want to stop panicking. To stop feeling like the oxygen has left the room, leaving me gasping for breath and lifeless. Like I'm drowning on dry land, my throat closes over, and my thoughts go at a million miles an hour. Worries and obsessions fire through my brain like bullets, sometimes for hours, sinking deeper and deeper into the water.
I want to be able to sleep. To be able to actually wake up in the morning and think 'I'm going to shine today. I'm going to laugh and smile without faking, and not have to pretend that I'm fine. Today is my day.'
To be able to get through a whole day without nearly faintin