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Similar Deviations
Wybie Lovat was running around the house after his grandma, desperately pleading as he did so. Wybie was seven years old and just begging for a pet, but his grandma refused him every time.

“Wyborne, how many times have I told you, we’re not getting a pet!” she told him sternly.

“But gramma!” the seven-year-old protested. “Everyone in the first grade has a pet! I’m not asking for a dog or anything, I just want something! I’m the only one!” His lower lip quivered and his eyes widen to the fullest extent that they possibly could.

Ms. Lovat turned around and sighed. “Wyborne, I’m sorry.” she murmured as she crouched down and put her hand on her grandson’s shoulder. “I just don’t have time to help you care for a pet.”

Wybie frowned. “But I’ll take care of it! You don’t have to do a thing except help me pay for food and stuff!” he promised as he began to hop excitedly. “Pleeeeeease, gramma?”

Ms. Lovat eyed Wybie curiously. After a few moments of silence, she finally replied, “You really want a pet, don’t you?”

“With all my heart!”

She sighed and put her hand over her face for a moment. She shook her head slightly and grumbled something to herself along the lines of, ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…’ “Okay. You can get a pet.”

Wybie’s spirit soared. “Oh, thank you, gramma! Thank you, thank you, thank you‒”

“But you’re really going to need to commit. You’ll need to feed it, change its water, clean up after it, play with it, make sure it doesn’t run away…everything. I’ll help you with some things, but this is going to be your pet, not mine.” she informed. “Did you have any idea of what sort of pet you wanted?”

Wybie stopped his excited bouncing for a moment to ponder this. “Well, I’ve always liked guinea pigs.” he told her as he thought of a cute little rodent. Many of his classmates had guinea pigs. “Do you think we could get one? Huh? Do you?”

Ms. Lovat shrugged a bit. “If that’s what you want. I suppose we can head down to the pet store in a few days and see what they have to adopt there.”

“Great idea! I’ll pet-proof the house!” he told her. He went forward and hugged his grandma tight. “Thanks, gramma.” Without waiting for a reply, Wybie dashed off happily into the house.


It was a week later when Wybie and his grandma went into town to go to the local pet store named ‘JIMMY’S PETS!!!’. Wybie didn’t really care about the stupid name. All he cared about were the animals up for adoption inside. He had cleaned his room, made sure that anything dangerous was out of the pets reach, and had read up as much as he could on guinea pigs and how to care for them.

Soon, the car stopped at the curb where the pet store was. Wybie quickly opened the door and ran out onto the sidewalk as stared at the big windows. There was a big colorful sign covered in paw prints. He also saw that in the windows were cute little puppies running around and gnawing on chew toys and each other’s tails and ears happily. He smiled and pressed up against the glass. “Hi, widdle guys!” he greeted as the puppies ran up to the window and barked excitedly.

“Wyborne, come on.” Ms. Lovat said as she locked the car doors and went to the door of the pet shop. It was a relatively nice day in Ashland, Oregon, so the door was open to let in some air.

“Coming, gramma!” he called as he said his goodbye’s to the puppies and raced after his grandma as she entered the store. Wybie instantly stopped and gazed around. There were a few people inside and some classic rock was playing on the speakers. There were pet supplies everywhere throughout the small store. Wybie could see puppies in the front windows of the store, rodents and birds towards the center, reptiles and amphibians off to the back corner, and kittens and cats in cages on the far wall to the left. The counter where the cashier stood was at the very back of the store. “Wow!” marveled Wybie.

“Wyborne!” called Ms. Lovat again.

Wybie, shaken from is trance, saw his grandma had already made it towards the center of the store where the guinea pigs and other rodents were. He raced up beside her and instantly found his way to the little guinea pigs. He saw about five in one big cage filled with sawdust, food pellets, a little wheel, and water. “Awww…” he laughed. There were two black guinea pigs, one brown one, two grey ones, and one little orange-and-white one. The orange-and-white guinea pig was the smallest of all of them and lay huddled up asleep in the corner of the cage. “I like that one.” he told his grandma as he pointed at the sleeping rodent.

Ms. Lovat leaned in and squinted her eyes. “He’s awfully cute.” she agreed.

Wybie smiled and pressed up against the glass. “Can we get him? Can we, can we?” he asked hopefully as he saw it start to rise to its paws and slowly scurry around. He saw a few little grey hairs around its eyes, but didn’t really know why.

Suddenly, a man came up behind the two Lovat’s. He was a short teenager with a name badge that read. ‘WHY HELLO THERE! I’M DAVE!’ “Hiya there!” greeted ‘Dave’ in an annoyingly overly-peppy voice. “I’m Dave, but you probably already knew that!” He let out a laugh and snorted afterwards. “How can I help you two this fine day?”

Wybie and his grandma glanced at one another, until finally Ms. Lovat stepped forward. “Nice to meet you, uh, Dave. My grandson would like to adopt a guinea pig.”

Dave grinned. “A guinea pig, little fella? What is he, four?” He reached out and ruffled Wybie’s hair.

“I’m seven.” Wybie informed as he fixed his hair, but it was already messy before the guy ruffled it, so it didn’t do much.

“My mistake, my mistake.” laughed Dave as he looked in at the guinea pig tank. “Any particular fella you’d like?”

Wybie nodded. “Yes, that one in the corner over there.” he told the man as he pointed to the slow orange-and-white rodent.

Dave frowned slightly. “You’re sure you want that ‘ol guy? He’s been here for years now! He’s way too fragile to be roughhousin’ with a little four-year-old like you!”

Seven-year-old.” grumbled Wybie. “And I don’t care if he’s old. He’s perfect.” He glanced over at the guinea pig and smiled as he stared at him with little brown eyes.

“All right, that’s cool, that’s cool. Do you know how to care for a little ‘ol guinea pig like him, do ya?” asked Dave with his voice still sickeningly happy and a freakish smile on his face.

Wybie nodded. “As a matter of fact, I do.” he informed as he crossed his arms and began staring angrily at Dave. This man must have thought he Wybie was an incompetent toddler, but this messy-haired boy wasn’t going to let some stupid store clerk ruin his day.

Dave stood there in silence for a moment. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Uh, okay, I guess.” he finally replied. He opened the top of the cage and grabbed the orange-and-white guinea pig. It let out a little squeak of protest and bit his finger. “Gah! Stop it!” he grumbled as he managed to get little rodent fangs out of his skin. “If you’d both follow me, I’ll get you all the supplies you’ll need for your new little…fella.” He turned and walked towards the back of the store.

“Come along, Wyborne. Follow…‘Dave’.” She rolled her eyes as the overly-peppy teen still walked away.

Wybie was about to reply, when he turned and spotted something. There was a wall of shiny metal cages. Wybie stared at the cages with questioning eyes, when he spotted a colorful banner above the cages that read, “Adopt a cat or kitten today!” in big letters with paw prints and cartoon cats all around it. Wybie turned to his grandma. “You go ahead, gramma. I just wanna look at something.” He waited for her to leave before he went over to the cat cages. Now that he was closer, he saw cats and kittens inside each cage. The cages had food water and toys in each of them. He smiled as he saw some cats and kittens grooming and playing with one another.

Then he came to the last cage. The light above it was out and the cages on either side of it were empty. Wybie stared curiously at the cage. It was filled with shadows and nothing seemed to stir inside of it. “Hello?” he whispered to the cage. Suddenly, something in the darkest corner of the cage shifted. Wybie didn’t move as a small black head appeared from the shadows and blinked wide blue eyes at him. “Hello…” Wybie murmured.

It was a small black kitten with the bluest of blue eyes. The kitten’s right ear was torn slightly and its short fur didn’t look too well cared for. It might have been a former feral kitten. It got up and trotted slowly towards the front of the cage and sat down, curling its long tail around its small paws and pricking its ears forward. It then titled its head completely to the side without a single meow.

Wybie couldn’t help but smile. “What’s your name, little guy?” he asked as he leaned in forwards to the cage.

The kitten sat up straight and meowed slightly. It didn’t sound like anything in particular, but it was a nice little meow. Its whiskers twitched and its blue eyes gleamed with kindness.

“You’re a cute little kitten, aren’t you?” laughed Wybie as he stuck his finger into the cage and tapped the kitten’s nose.

The kitten purred, when suddenly its blue gaze shifted to behind Wybie and widened in fear and surprise.

Wybie grinned. “What is it, little guy?” he asked. Suddenly, he felt a slight tap on the shoulder and spun around to face a large employee with a name card that read in scribbled letters: “WHY HELLO THERE! I’M bob.” He didn’t look anything like peppy Dave, which was a good thing.

“Hey kid,” said the big employee. “you mind moving out of the way? Some kid’s gettin’ this here cat and I can’t get to it with you standin’ here, ya see?”

Wybie blinked at the man. “Some kid? Who?”

The man pointed over to a girl. This was no ordinarily girl. It was Bertha Fungi, the meanest girl in the first grade. She was wearing a little pink dress that was probably a little too little for her pudgy figure. Her blonde hair was up in pigtails and a smug smile crossed her creepy face as she spotted Wybie. “Hey there, Wyborne.” laughed Bertha in her naturally nasally voice.

Wybie rolled his eyes. “Hello, Bertha.” he groaned.

Bertha narrowed her disgusting dark green eyes at him. “What’s the matter, Wyborne? I thought your little old grandma of yours wouldn’t let you get a pet!”
she scoffed as she shot a glance at Wybie’s grandma who was talking to Dave.

Wybie felt his temper start to burn, but he forced himself to calm down. “As a matter of face, my grandma is letting me get a pet!” he growled.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Yeah, right. What’s she letting you get? A hermit crab?” she laughed. “No wait! A little minnow?”

“No!” yelled Wybie. “I’m getting a guinea pig!”

Bertha was silent for a few moments. “Whatever. I’m getting a kitten.” she bragged.

“A kitten?” he asked. He then saw Bob, the employee that told him to move earlier, open the cage that the little black kitten was in. The kitten shrunk down and hissed at the man as he reached in and grabbed it by its scruff. The kitten then unsheathed its claws and began flailing around as the man still grasped it.

“Yes.” said Bertha smugly while pointing at the black feline. “That kitten.”

Wybie felt his heart ache for the little kitten. Bertha was so mean…she would not take very good care of that little kitten. “But…but why this kitten? Why not another one?” he asked as he pointed to the skinny little kitten. He didn’t want it going off to live with nasty Bertha.

“Because I saw you looking at him like you want him. Now I want him.”

Wybie felt his temper explode. “You don’t just adopt a kitten because you feel like it! You need to actually care about it and love it!” he told her as he saw how sad and scared the little kitten looked.

“Well, too bad, Wyborne.” She stuck her tongue out and narrowed her eyes. “He’s my kitten now!”

Wybie angrily watched the man take the kitten and throw him in a cat carrier. The black kitten leapt to its paws and began scrabbling at the cage as it tried to break free. With a last look of despair and anger at Bertha, he watched the man take the cat carrier over to the women who was Bertha’s mother. She was a nice lady, but was her daughter was such a brat… “Stupid Bertha.” growled Wybie under his breath. “She doesn’t deserve anything. Especially a poor little kitten.” He watched sadly as Bertha, her mother, and the kitten exited the store.

The kitten was pacing wildly in its cage. It fur was risen, its ears were flattened, and its eyes were wide with fear. Suddenly, Wybie and the kitten’s eyes met. The kitten seemed to be pleading to him…pleading for Wybie to help him…but Wybie knew there was nothing he could do. With a last sad look at the little black kitten, Wybie watched him vanish into the Fungi’s car and drive away back to Bertha’s wretched home.

Another call from his grandma shook him out of his misery. “Wyborne, we’re all set.” she said as she approached. She was holding a small little cage with the tiny orange-and-white guinea pig inside.

Wybie smiled half-heartedly at his grandma then looked at the guinea pig. It was chewing happily on a little stick of celery. “He’s great, gramma.” he told her as she handed him the cage.

Ms. Lovat smiled. “I’m glad you think so.” She then turned as Dave called to her. “Here, you take your guinea pig. I’ll go get the cage, food, and everything else we need.” She reached into her purse and handed Wybie her car keys. “Here. Go open the car. Lock the doors and only open them when I come out, okay?”

“Okay, gramma.” Wybie promised as he had the keys in one hand and this new guinea pig in the other. He left the pet shop and went out onto the sidewalk. He opened the car and sat in the back seat, setting the guinea pig cage down next to him carefully. He sighed and stared out the window, thinking sadly about the poor little black kitten…


It was a few weeks after Wybie had adopted his own pet guinea pig down at the pet store in town. His cage was all set up on Wybie’s dresser. Inside, the bottom was covered in new sawdust. He also had a cup of food pellets, some celery, a few toys, a wheel to run in, water, and a little hut to hide in. Wybie ended up naming his little rodent pal Squeak, just because he squeaked all the time, especially when he ran on his wheel, although he was quite old.

The clock on Wybie’s dresser read 9:30 PM.

“C’mere, Squeak, c’mere!” Wybie reached into Squeak’s cage and picked him up gently. Squeak’s nose twitched as Wybie set him on his desk. Squeak looked over the edge carefully for a moment, then turned away and waddled back towards his cage slowly. The little rodent abruptly sat down and curled up. “Aww, Squeak, are you tired?” Wybie picked him up and set him back inside his cage. Squeak had been active when Wybie had first brought him home, but he seemed to be slowing down quite a bit nowadays.

Wybie yawned and stretched. “Well, I’d better get ready for bed. I’m gettin’ up early to go hunting for frogs in the stream.” he told Squeak as he changed into his pajamas and hopped into bed. He yawned again and pulled the covers up. “Goodnight, Squeak.” Wybie reached for his light. He smiled at Squeak as the little guinea pig lay curled up in a ball and fast asleep. He then shut the lights and drifted off to sleep…



It was 7:00 AM when Wybie had gotten up. He had gotten up and went over to check on how his pet was doing, only to find that the old orange-and-white rodent was fast asleep. He poked Squeak and said his name several times, but Squeak didn’t move. Squeak lay motionless among the saw dust with eyes closed.

“Squeak…no…” whispered Wybie in disbelief as he lay his head next to Squeak’s cage on the dresser. “Squeak, why did you have to go? Why?” Tears streamed down his face.

Suddenly, his door opened and his grandma came in while still wearing her pajamas. “Wyborne! Why are you up so early? And why are you‒” She stopped talking when she saw her grandson’s tears and Squeak laying motionless in his cage. Instantly, she knew what had happened. “Oh, Wyborne…I’m so sorry…” she murmured as she slowly entered his room.

Wybie slowly straightened up and wiped his tears away. “I-It’s okay, gramma.” he told her as he looked sadly at Squeak. “Dave down at the pet shop did say Squeak was pretty old…”

Ms. Lovat bent down and hugged Wybie. For a moment, Wybie struggled to free himself from his grandma’s hug, but he eventually gave in and began to cry on her shoulder.


It was raining and almost dark out when Wybie had finished digging.

Wybie had dug a hole as Squeak’s grave. He and his grandma decided to put it in their garden. A small white shoebox lay beside the hole with the name ‘SQUEAK’ written on it in crude lettering. There was also a picture of the old orange-and-white guinea pig that Wybie had drawn and colored in himself. He sniffed sadly as he slowly lowered his pet’s coffin into the grave. He then despairingly began covering it with dirt.

Ms. Lovat then came out of the house wearing a raincoat and holding a black umbrella. “Wyborne,” she murmured softly. “I made you some hot cocoa. Would you like some after you’re finished?” she asked as she saw Squeaks little grave in the rain.

Wybie didn’t respond right away. He was too busy looking at his little friend’s grave. “Sure.” he replied as he wiped away another tear. He then dusted himself off and picked up the shovel. “Do you think he missed me as much as I miss him, gramma?” he asked as he fought back tears.

“I’m sure of it, dear. You took good care of him in his old age.” She smiled. “Hopefully you can do the same for me.”

Wybie looked up from the top of his eyes. “Grammaaaa…” he laughed as he went under her umbrella and the two went back into the house.


It was late the same night of Squeak’s burial. Wybie was up in his room and was finished cleaning Squeak’s cage. The saw dust had been thrown away, as had the food. He did decide to keep the cage, wheel, and toys however. He sighed as he put them away deep inside the depths of his beyond-messy closet.

Rain tapped hard on the windows and thunder rumbled outside as a storm blew in. His heart ached, yet he didn’t feel like crying...

His bedroom door then opened and his grandma entered. Seeing him up, she said, “Wyborne, it’s past your bedtime.”

“I know, gramma.” he said as he closed the blinds on his windows. A big tree branch tapped against his window as a breeze from the storm ruffled it. “We really need to get that branch away from my window.” he grumbled. “In the middle of the night it always sounds like there’s something trying to get into my bedroom!”

Ms. Lovat nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll get rid of it someday.” she told him. “Now, into bed!” She came in and hurried him along.

Wybie climbed in to bed with his pajamas on and pulled the covers up. “Goodnight, gramma.” he told her.

Ms. Lovat tucked his grandson in a bit and kissed him on the forehead. “Goodnight, Wyborne.” She turned and left, shutting the light and closing the door before she left down the hallway to her bedroom.

Wybie sighed softly and curled up amongst his blankets and pillows. He tried to imagine his little pal Squeak happy and scurrying around with other little guinea pig angels in the clouds. The thought that his pet was now in a better place comforted him as he slowly began to drift off into sleep…

What seemed like moments later, Wybie heard a tiny scratching at his bedroom window. He clutched his blanket and put his pillow over his head to block out the noise. Stupid tree branch. he thought angrily. Lightning lit up his whole room and thunder seemed to make the house shake slightly. Wybie was both annoyed and frightened at the same time. He tried to go back to sleep, but the scratching on the window wouldn’t stop.




Wybie glanced at his clock and saw that it read 12:00 midnight. He shivered as the scratching continued until… “Alright, that’s enough!” he grumbled as he threw up his blankets and maneuvered his way through the darkness to the window where the tree branch was located right outside. He opened his blinds and glanced outside. Lightning lit his face while rain and wind raged outside. Suddenly, movement outside his window in front of him caught his eye. Wybie strained his gaze to see what it was, when he swore he heard a tiny meowing. “Hello?” whispered Wybie into the windowpanes.


Wybie’s eyes stretched wide. He unlocked and opened his window. Immediately, wind and rain blew at his face. “Is someone there?” he called to the storm.


Wybie flew back in surprise as a tiny black kitten padded towards him on the tree branch. “It’s you!” gasped Wybie as he recognized the kitten. It was the same black kitten from the pet store where Wybie had adopted Squeak…it was the same kitten that Bertha had taken away. “How did you get here? I thought that mean ‘ol Bertha took you away!” he marveled with surprise.

The kitten titled its head to the side and its blue eyes gleamed in the lightning, as if to say, “I escaped, that’s what I did! I’m a feral kitten! No one can keep me in!”

Wybie grinned, but soon stopped as he saw how wet and cold this little kitten looked. “Come inside.” he murmured as he reached out and gently grabbed the wet black kitten. He was surprised when the kitten simply purred instead of thrashing and hissing. Wybie set the kitten down on the floor and closed and locked the window.

The kitten instantly shook its drenched fur. It looked up as Wybie as he flicked the lights on. “Meow?”

Wybie grabbed a towel he had hanging over the foot of his bed. “C’mere, little guy.” he told the kitten softly. He was even more surprised when the kitten leapt right into his arms. Wybie smiled and sat down at the side of his bed. He then began to dry the tiny kitten off with the fluffy towel. After a few moments of thorough drying, stroked the cat’s semi-dry fur. “There, is that better?” he asked.

The cat twitched its tail and suddenly opened its mouth wide. “Mrrow!” it grumbled.

“Oooo, I get it…” laughed Wybie as he got to his feet and tossed the towel on the floor. “…someone’s hungry, right?”

The kitten let out an excited meow and began waving its long tail wildly.

“Okay, little guy, let’s go get you some grub. But be quite, okay?” He carefully cradled the kitten his arms and quietly opened the door. He glanced out, half-expecting to see his grandma, but was relieved to see the hallway was completely empty. He closed his door carefully behind him and made his way towards the stairs. The kitten stayed still in his arms the whole way down, although Wybie could hear its stomach growling. Did Bertha starve the poor thing? “Don’t worry, little guy. We’ve got plenty of stuff for you in the kitchen downstairs.” he assured as they neared the kitchen. He silently flicked on the lights and set the kitten down on the counter.

“Mrrow?” asked the kitten as it stared at him and then the fridge.

“Ah, I see you know where the food is already.” he laughed. As soon as he moved towards the fridge, the kitten leapt onto his shoulder and purred as hit rubbed its muzzle against his cheek. “Aww, okay, okay! I’ll hurry up!” he promised as he opened the fridge door. Inside there were plenty of things that a little kitten would love to chow down on. “What looks good to you?”

The kitten’s big blue eyes surveyed the entire contents of the fridge before they stopped at one particular thing: Salmon. It began making excited noises and meows.

“Okay, salmon it is then!” Wybie reached in and grabbed the salmon. It was cooked, but Wybie didn’t care much for it. He took it out and set it on the counter. The kitten leapt off his shoulder and landed right on the salmon. Instead of stepping off, the black feline began eating the fish around his paws. “Good boy!” laughed Wybie as he scratched behind its tattered right ear. “You go ahead and eat the salmon. I’ll get you some water.” He went over to the sink that was still filled with water and dishes from dinner. Wybie turned on the cold water and then reached for one of his cereal bowls. As he waited for the water to cool, he heard footsteps behind him. He whipped around and came face-to-face with his grandma. “Gramma!” he screeched in surprise.

The kitten, startled by Wybie’s outburst, scrambled to get free but instead fell face-first into the sink water.

“Wyborne, what are you doing!” demanded Ms. Lovat while staring at the kitten as it re-surfaced from the dishwater. “What’s that kitten doing in here?!”

“Gramma, please! Mean ‘ol Bertha Fungi adopted this kitten, but she didn’t really care about him!” he explained as he carefully picked up the drenched kitten. “I woke up and found him outside my window on the branch. I couldn’t leave him out in the storm.”

The little kitten shivered and stared at up at Ms. Lovat with its big blue eyes.
Ms. Lovat sighed. “Wyborne…I know what you’re thinking. We can’t keep him, though.”

Wybie stared directly at his grandma. “But why not? No one would have adopted him if I hadn’t come along! That’s what made Bertha take him in the first place!” He stroked the tiny feline that lay in his arms. “Please, gramma…he’s so sweet…look at ‘im.” He held up the kitten right in his grandma’s face.

“Mrrow!” The kitten purred and licked her nose with its sandpapery tongue.

Mrs. Lovat laughed and carefully took the kitten from Wybie. She then cradled it in her arms and began tickling its belly. This caused the kitten to flick its tail playfully and purr like a motorboat. “Awww, he’s a ticklish little fellow, isn’t he?” she laughed.

Wybie couldn’t help but smile as his hopes began to rise. “So can we keep him, gramma? Please? Please?”

Ms. Lovat’s smile turned into a bit of a frown. She looked at the kitten and then Wybie, and then back a few times. “I don’t know…” The kitten then batted her nose lightly with its paws and let out little happy meows, making Ms. Lovat smile and laugh once more. “I suppose so.”

“Yes!” Wybie threw his hands up and hugged his grandma, much tighter than when she agreed to getting a guinea pig. “Thank you, gramma! Thank you!”

“Mrrow! Meow!” The black kitten thanked Ms. Lovat by licking her nose once more.

Wybie grinned as the kitten squirmed and leapt straight onto his shoulders. “Hey!” he laughed. The kitten’s big blue eyes gleamed and it tilted its head to the side. Wybie reached back, carefully grabbed the kitten and held it up in front of him. He smiled as the kitten leaned forward and licked his nose softly with a purr. “You’re a part of our family now, little guy.” he laughed, knowing that he and this kitten were going to be the best of friends for a long time to come.

Here's a little one-part fanfic of maybe how Wybie and Cat met...but Wybie's a little kid and Cat's a kitten! 8D I was just taking a break from my Coraline meets Koump fanfic, and this idea has been in my head for a while.

And Bertha Fungi...omg, I have no idea why I gave her such a stupid name xD Makes me laugh every time!

Poor Squeak D':

Enjoy and please comment!

Wybie and his grandma belongs to Henry Selick and LAIKA Studios. Cat (kitten in this fanfic) belongs to Neil Gaiman and LAIKA Studios!:D Squeak, Bertha Fungi, Dave, Bob, and whoever else was made up by me xDDD
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We Start our story off at Springfield Elementry School as the kids are leaving to go home. All the kids are proceeding on the bus.

Bart: Hey Milhouse!

Milhouse: what?

Bart: take a look i stole from Principle Skinners office!
(bart reaveals a whoopi cushion)

Milhouse: Woah! cool Bart, how did you get that from his office?

Bart: Well i was sent to the principle fro disrupting the class and while old Skinhead stepped out i ransacked his Drawer and found this Baby!

Milhouse: Your my hero! so what are going to do with it? are you gonna prank somebody!

Bart: Just watch and learn 4 eyes! (inflates cushion and places it quickly in the seat behind them) Watch and learn!

(meanwhile the twins Sherri and Terri step on the bus and walk towards the whoopi cushioned seat, they walk past bart waving to them and both turn up their noses. Bus pulls ofSherri move towars the window seat while Terri sits down on the isle seat sitting on the Whoopi cushion. *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttttttt*

Terri: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

(Terri jumps up form the seat scared while all the Kids are laughing at her)

Bart: Ahahahahahhahaha! you got Punk'd

Milhouse: (still laughing) that was a good one Bart!

Terri: (smacks Bart) THat wasn't sunny you ugly mokey!

Sherri: Yeah!

Bart: Face it purple head, i pranked you so hard and there is nothing you can do about it. Besides what can the two of you do to me? (kids say: oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!)

Sherri: We will get you back bart. You'll see.

Terri: We will get you so bad you won't ever want to show that ugly face of yours again. (kids again respond)

Bart: Eat My Shorts shorts eaters! (kids repsond)

Sherri and Terri: you'll be eating our shorts tommorow freak! (kids again respond)

Bart: You don't wear shorts! (kids laugh)

(Both twins roll their eyes and begin plotting their plan)

Ottoman: All right shers and tears its your stop!

Terri: See you later weirdo!

Bart: You still have the Whoopi cushion on your but!
(sherri looks behind her and sees the cushion her dress. Terri blushes of embarressment while Sherri takes off the cushion) *kids laughing*

Terri and Sherri: Thats not funny! (both run off the bus and run inside their house.)
(bus pulls off)

Milhouse: Hey Bart!(snug look on his face) i think Terri kind of likes you.

Bart: Shut up Milhouse!

Milhouse: okay!

(meanwhile back at the Twins House. They are in their room)

Sherri: We have got to think of somthing to get that smelly ape back! any ideas!

Terri: (still embarresed) i don't know. There is nothing that could top that embarressing Cushion.

Sherri: Thats it!

Terri: Thats what?

Sherri: We will make him fart in class!

Terri: With the Whoopi cushion? You know he is too smart to fall fot that!

Sherri: No! I am talking about something more embarresing than a whoopi cushion!

Terri: Doble whoopi cushion?

Sherri: No you idiot a real outburst of fllatulence

Terri:(face lightens up) Ahh yes! (sherri chuckles) That would totally destroy his popularity and he may never return to school again.

Sherri: Indeed! but we need to come up with a way to make him devlope an extremely bad case of gas. (walks back and fourth quickly)Quick what makes people fart?

Terri: Umm. Beans?

Sherri: Of course! Thank you sister.

Terri: But we need something that will keep him going for a long time! I know why don't we use what is inside dad's "Special box" and mix it with the beans.

Sherri: You mean the "secret box" that is so "secret" not even dad knows what "secrets" are in the "secret box"

Terri: Your clicheing again!

Sherri: (blushing) oh! sorry!

Terrri: Anyway, yes! we will use it to make a pill that we can drop into his drink at lunch time while he is not looking.

Sherri: Great plan! lets go get the box!

(run down to the basement to retrieve the box. They take out the "Secret Box" and  
use an axe to break the lock. They both have to open it becuase the lid is so heavy.
When they open it they discover a hidden supply of uranium rods stored in tubes)

Sherri: Ooohh!

Terri: Aaahhh!

Sherri: (reaches in and grabs a tube) Now lets go have some fun!

(both twins laugh manichally. Both gather and hurry to their room and begin beans and create 2 mutated beans)

Terri: Now we can get our revenge on that dork!

Sherri: Indeed sis! Nothing can ruin this plan!

(suddenly there was a quick thump on Their door.)

Twins Dad: Sherri..Terri

(both twins jump in nervousness and begin to panic. Theu both quickly swallow the beans)

Twins: Ye..yes daddy!

Twins Dad: (opens door) Whats going on in here? and why are you two so jumpy?

Sherri: We were just uhhhhhh.......cold!

Terri: yeah cold and we were going to

SHerri: Turn the heat up

Twins Dad: I knew you two were up to something!

(twins gulp)

Twins Dad: You to were going to touch the Thermostat weren't you?

Sherri: uhhhh...yeah!

Terri: You caught us!

Twins Dad: Haha! caught you in the act haha! Well just put somemore clothes on and you will be warmer in no time.

Twins: Okay! by dad!

Twins Dad: Are you sure you two are.......

(Terri closes door)

Terri: Yes dad! see you at dinner

Sherri: (sighs) That was close! okay so where did you put your bean!

Terri: I swallowed it!

Sherri: So did I!

Twins: (Both scream at the same time. They then begin to have severe stimach cramps and then they begin to undergo a mutation)

(meanwhile at Barts house. Bart and Lisa are sittin at the Table)

Lisa: Bart! were you the one that pranked Terri today on the bus today?

Bart: uumm...No it was Milhouse(sarcastically) of corse it was me dummy! Best prank ever

Lisa: (sighs) Bart, i know you can't help your constant rambunctiousness that was just mean of you to prank people who don't even bother you! Now i think you should apologize tommorow.

Bart: Are you insane? For startes i can prank anyone i want to at anytime. Plus SHerri and Terri hate my guts anyway so what difference does it make.

Lisa: They don't hate you! i am sure if you go and straighten things about you could become good friends.

Bart: in your dreams geekbate. How can they possibly get back at me.

Lisa: I give up! your on your own! (Lisa walks into living room and looks at the T.V) Bart!(urgently)

Bart: What now?

Lisa: You should take a look at this news report.

Bart: (gets up and walks into living room) What going on?

Lisa:(in shock) Oh my! (points to T.V)
(T.V. reveals a 50 ft version of Sherri and Terri reaking havoc on the city)

Kent: This is Kent Brockman with breaking news. It seems Springfield Is under attack by two blue haired little girls with anger management problems and severe aggression. (clip of Twins smashing buildings, roaring and crushing cars.) I have just received word that the two are Terri and Sherri...i can't read the last name but it seems that they are on the looking for This person crudley depicted in this drawing made by one of the twins. (picture is shown on the screen)The picture has been confirmed to be non other than local pain in the ass Bart Simpson. One of the Twins has just said this "Give us bart, we wan Bart" and so i assume that Bart is not supprisingly behind this and needs to give himself up to ease these Twins of Terrors Rage. This is Kent Brockman singing of from the Springfiled News saying "Give yourself up Bart" thank you and good night we now leave you with the delightful video of our Towns demise. (News ends with Soringfielders runnig away from Sherri and the Camera is left showing Sherri running towards it and she stops and makes a mighty roar and she looks down angrilly ate the Camera and she then lifts up her foot and crushes it under her giant purple sandals.

Lisa: (angrilly looks at Bart) see what all your shinanogans have gotten you? I don't know how they attained that monsterous size but all i know is that you have to fix this.

Bart: (looking scared) wh..what? I am not going to risk my life just because some stupid girl can't take a joke.

Lisa: Your the only stupid on here Bart Simpsons! If you don't go apologize to them, we will all be doomed! Please Bart! for the sake of Springfield, Save us!

Bart: Alright, Alright! shesh! I will try to fight the twins and maybe i will apologize but no more than that. (Bart leaves the room to go upstairs. Approches the stairs and turns around and looks at Lisa) if i survuve this. you owe me!(Lisa rolls her eyes)
(Bart goes up to his room and looks for some ammunition. opens his closet and pulls out his Bartman costume with grappling hooks, bartmarangs and sling shot)

(dynamic scend as Bart suits up)

Lisa: What in earth are you wearing?

Bart: Well seeing as i am going to be saving people, i figured i would dress up as Bartman.

Lisa: (ahahahhaha) Thats priceless.

Bart: (angry look) laugh it up oddball, but with this slingshot and utility i am destined for victory.

Lisa: (stops laughing) You are going to use a sling-shot to stop two monsterous twins? thats ludacris!

Bart: Why not? ot worked for David.

Lisa: But he had the lord on his side and your.....Bart Simpson!(snickers)

Bart: (feels insulted) ha..ha..ha(sarcastically) very funny.

Lisa: Well good luck..Bartman. YOu will need it!

Bart: Whatever! (leaves his room and exits out the house on a skateboard)

(meanwhile back in the city)

Citizen: (running away from Terri while screaming) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Terri stops and picks up and throws it on groung. Roats loudly)

Terri: Bart Simpsons! Bring us Bart Simpson!

(Sherri is right behind her and both girls continue smashing buildings and reeking havoc on the city, lifts up car)

Wiggum and cops: Alright you two! Stop destroying buildings and put you hands where i can see them!

Sherri: roooooaaaaaar! (lifts up arm i)

Wiggum: Thats it now slowly drop the car o the ground

Eddie: Uh Cheif i think she...

Wiggum: Not now Eddie, alright now bring you arms down to the ground

(Sherri smashes the police car with her empty fist)

Wiggum: O...kay! uhh.......nevermind continue destroying the town. (becomes filled with fear. Turns to Eddie and Lou) Run like hell boys! (all three of them run screaming) Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Sherri takes the Donut off the Lard lad statue and eats it)

(both girls head iver to Springfield Elementry School and begin destroying it)

Skinner: (on the ground) No, not my Beautiful School! (hands on head) alright you two(points up at them) You two are in big trouble! You destroyed School propperty and it is coming out of your parents wallets. Altogether, it will come to about $843 dollars and a...3 cents! (Skinner cringes as he hears the two girls growel and quickly pick him up)

Terri: Your not the boss of us you mediocre Principle!

Skinner: Mediocre?

Sherri: You heard us Skinflint! your a lousy Principle who still listens to his mommy!

Skinner: Thats not tr..true! you take that back!

Skinner's Mom: (from the ground) Seymour! you can't talk that way to children, apologize right now!

Skinner: Yes Mother!

Terri & Sherri: AHAHAHHAHAHAH! Say good-bye..Seymour!

SKinner: NO, wait? i apologize from my Vietnam veteran heart! what do you want? Bart Simpson? you can have him!, (Terri begins to lift him toward her mouth) uhhh, better school lunch? more asbestos! (Terri opens her mouth) Nooooo!

Milhouse: Stop it right there you..big...bullies!

Terri & Sherrri: huh?

Milhouse: You..heard me! pick on someone you own size!

Sherri: Like you you little 4 eyed pipsqueak!

Milhouse: (scared stiff) yeah! thats right me. i ca take both of you on!
(Bart quickly arrives a couple feet away from Milhouse)

Bart: Whats going on here?

Milhouse: Get to a safe place Bart, i'll take on these to ugly weirdos myself!

Twins: Ugly! (growl in anger)

Bart: Milhouse don't be a Hero!

Milhouse: (go's into a rage and charges toward Terri's Foot while the action is in slow motion) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Milhouse: (kicks Terris big toe but has no effect on her) take that and that and that (Twins look at each other in a disappointed way. Milhousegets worn out after a coupl seconds and steps 12 feet from her foot)

Milhouse: How did you like them apples!

Bart: Milhouse i don't think you sho..(milhouse interuppts and becomes cocky)

Milhouse: Didn't think i had it in me did you. well i have enough strength to take on both of you. You can destroy our city, crush cars and even eat people.

Skinner: hey!

Milhouse: But you can't not crush my spirit (camera looks down at milhouse at a birds eye view side angle) I will avenge my city and you can't step on my pride ( Terris foot comes slamming down on to of Milhouse and Bart watches as he gets grinded into the ground by Terri's sandal) Booooooooooooooooooooooooom!

Twins: Ahahahahahahaahaaahahahh! (give a high five to each other)

Bart: alright you two, prepare to meet your worst nightmare!

Terri: Well, well, well. Look who decided to show his dorky little face.

Sherri: You will Pay for what you did to us Simpson!

Skinner: Aha, i knew this was all barts fault! i just ahhhhhhh!

Terri: (tosses skinner up in the air and he lands on a nearby flagpole hanging by his underware) Yeah! you will end up just like your friend your little friend. Squashed!

Bart: Hey, you can't do that to skinner! wow, i am sticking up for the principle. i am a total sell out! well anyway i will not end up like poor Milhouse, you two will be eating my little shorts:

Sherri: Well see about that Simpson!

(Sherri lifts up her arm and tries to smash bart into the ground but Bart leaps into the air before her hand smacks the ground and Bart hooks his grappling hook on an nearby building and glides he is pulled to the top of the building)

Terri: You can't escape us! (try to grab bart on top of the bulding. Bart jumps up and avoids being grab)

Bart: Take this pale, tall and ugly! (throws bartmerang at Terris arm)

Terri: (gets stung by blade of the bartmarang.) Ouch! why you little...!

Sherri: You hurt my sister! (makes a fist and punches bulding so thhat it collapses)

Bart: (quickly jumps on Sherri's arm and runs up to her face to kick her in th nose.)
Heya!(kicking sound)

Sherri: (reacts and holds her nose as it begins to bleed. SHe then grabs bart while he is trying to glide to another bulding) Now i've got you! Prepare to feel my wrath!(Sherri plucks Bart on to the ground)

Bart:(hits  the ground hard) Ouch!!! (gets up and feels achy) uhhhhhhhhhhhh! (look sup and jumps out of the way to avoid Sherri's giant hand from crushing him)

Sherri: (watching as bart avoids her massive hand) come back here you little creep!

Terri: (recovers from pain) I'll teach you a lesson you won't forgert Simpson!(begins tomping the ground)

Bart: (cracks his bones to feel better) Eat my....blaaaaaaah! (screams and moves out of the way of Terris stomping)(He runs over to Milhouse(who is now getting up and feeling in great pain from getting stepped on and he is tatereed with the Sandal's sole imprint on him)) Milhouse, your alive!

Milhouse: Yes! and i am cannot feel my body right now but all i can say is I Need a  doctor. (faints on the floor and Bart goes over to pick him up to tak)

Bart: Don't worry Buddy, i will protect you!

Milhouse:(wakes up and feels a little better) Y....Yo....You....Yo (Bart getting annoyed)

Bart: Out with it Milhouse!

Milhouse: You called me Buddy, i feel so special!

Bart: Thats right pal! now tell me, how do i defeat these two Nightmares!

Milhouse:(coughing) You can't fight them. It is mathmatically impossible. The odds are like..(coughs again) .. 99% to 1%

Bart: Never tell me the odds

Milhouse: There is a Way to stop thheir Rampage and..

Bart: Oh No! I'm not even thinking of doing that.

Milhouse: You have to Bart, its the only way! Please Bart! for the sake of Springfield, you must do it1

Bart: No! i will find a way to bring these two to their knees! (Stands up and drops Milhouse head)

Milhouse: Ouch!

Bart: I will be back for you later pal! (Runs towards TTWins)

Milhouse: Wait! I Need assistence (coughs again) i hate being the Dorky character in this show!

(Bart runs up to the Twins)

Twins: So you still wan to play with us huh?

Bart: Thats right losers, you can't get rid of me that easily!

SHerri: Alright then Simpson! How about we play a little, Jump rope?

Bart: ewwww, no that is so gay! I mean (looks at camera as if he is nervous about offending the homosexuals) girly!

Terri: Oh you won't be doing the jumping Bart!

Bart: What?

Sherri: (Runs over to suspension Bridge and grabs the long cable to use as a rope. people on bridge begin screaming as the bridge snaps and lopsided)

Moleman: (hanging of the side of thebridge that collapsed) Why can't i just have a normal day?

Krabappel: (looking up from her car that is being held up by a beam) This is why i knew i should have quit teaching when i had the chance!

Comicbook guy:(standong on the side walk not on the bridge sipping a Squishee and looking at the monsters ) Worst Monster destroying a supension bridge ever!

Sherri: (wallks back over the Terri and  hand the other cable to her and make it into a jump rope) We will be the only ones jumping the rope while you will be jumping..Dope! (starts laughing and snorts a little)

Terri:(looks at her and rolls her eyes) Sherr,(she says in a soft voice) please stop with the jokes! It just..Not yo thang!

Sherri: (somewhat embarresed) Well..anyway, Simpson prepare to meet your doom!

Twins: Purple twins power, activate!(THey begin to glow)

Comic Book Guy: (sighs) Enough with the show copyrighted parodies already, this show does not have that type of budget! shesh!

(Glowing stops Twins clothes are restored to being clean and are fixed and they are both holding the rope)

Bart: That all you had to do! Man i thought you were going to tranformor something! I Caramba, Leave to a bunch of Stupid Girls to worry more  about there appearence then anything else!

Twins: What?

Terri: Lets kick his ass!

Sherri: Yeah!

(They slowly begin to Jump rope and the whole town begins to shake)

Bart: Whaaaaa?(watches as twins charge toward him as they jump rope. Jumps out of the way as they pass him)

Sherri: Damn we missed him!(they slow down and stop and try it again) Lets try it again but faster and moe power.

Terri: This time we go to the rythm of...of...of.....

Sherri: well... say something!(looks at Terri and wonders what is wrong) Now What?

Terri: Oh sorry, The writer does not know rge name of the jump rope hyme so he is googleing it. It Takes awhile?

Sherri: O....K?

A Simpsons spoof i thought of while playing The Simpsons game. Let me know what you guys think.
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Summary: A Family Guy (kind of anti-)fanfic. When karma strikes members of the Griffin family, they know just who to turn to in their times of need. Well…kind of, anyway. One-shot.


To My Loving Daughter,

Hey, honey! Remember me? It's your daddy! Yeah...anyway, it's been a long time since we've seen each other, so I just thought I'd write. Oh, and you know, while I have you, I was wondering if you could send along a little money for Daddy? Daddy's special hospital bills are kind of steep, and the doctors are getting a little mad 'cause the Social Security won't cover everything. I try to tell 'em that I don't need to be here, but after Daddy's last little "accident," the judge just won't believe I can manage things on my own without your mother around. (And that stupid chicken's fuckin' Jew lawyer isn't make things any easier, let me tell you. Er, um, no offense to you and your new family now, honey, say hi to him for me.) Anyway, I enclosed my medical bills, so if you could just send along a little money, it would be really great. Or you know what would be even better? If you could pay to help me move to a different hospital! 'Cause I mean, I know they call this a "mental health" place, but let me tell you---everybody here?

Cra-zy. And I keep getting these annoying little burns from the nurses' cigarettes.</P>

Anyway, hope to hear back from you soon.




To My Loving Sister,

Hey. sis. It's me, Chris. Hey, that rhymes! Heh-heh-heh! Anyway, I haven't seen you in a while and just thought I'd write. I'm actually having some problems right now. Vanessa broke up with me, and I lost my job when the factory shut down; you know we just can't compete with all those high-tech robots the Iraqis keep making. My stupid landlord kicked me out, and when I went to Vanessa's new apartment to try to make up with her, her new boyfriend (you remember him, that evil monkey I tried to set you up with for the prom?) attacked me and I had to get stitches! Anyway, I really need to find a new place, but there's nothing around here that I can afford with my savings, and it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to find a new job anytime soon. Is there any chance you could send along a little cash to tide me over for a couple months? I'd really appreciate it.

Your brother,



To My Oldest, Dearest Friend,

Okay, let me just begin by saying that I can't BELIEVE I'm still in here! Okay, okay, sorry...but I mean, COME ON! It's been---how many years now? You wouldn't think that in the FREAKIN' UNITED STATES, we would still have political prisoners like some sort of---some sort of---of Russian gulag! And for what? Some hyped-up TERRORISM charge? Just because I held the mayor at gunpoint for a few hours to try to subvert the democratic process or some bullshit---I mean, it was for a good cause! How is it terrorism to do what you think is right, even if you have to get a little...violent to do it? It's not like I bombed an abortion clinic or something that a freakin' CONSERVATIVE would do. It was for gay marriage! I was doing it so that the people I loved could live together, in peace and with a tax refund too! Although I have to admit, if Jasper's stupid beaner husband hadn't gone and ruined it with the divorce, that point might have stuck a little better in court...

Anyway...that's kind of why I'm writing. See, I have this parole hearing coming up next week, kind of doesn't look good. It would be a lot better if the stupid prison guards hadn't completely INVADED MY PRIVACY by reading my mail. (I mean, Mr. Monkey-Face isn't even president anymore, who cares what threats I'm sending him?! And as for the Obama ones...I mean, can you BELIEVE he refused to pardon me?! My dad was totally right about people like that...stupid n****r.) But the point is, I really need a good character witness to come and convince the parole board I'm a good guy. And you know I am, you remember all the times I was there for you, don't you? And it's not like I could even do anything if I ever got out...I mean, remember kiddo, 17 is pretty old for a dog. The fact is, the vets say I might not even be too long for this world anyway. So, could you come help a poor old mutt out? I really need you.

Your old friend,



To My Loving Sister,

By Jove, I need your help! I have to get out of here! I've only been here for a couple of months, and if I have to stay here any longer there's no chance that I'll survive! And they want to keep me in here until I'm eighteen?! Come now, you must realize that I didn't kill our dear mother! It accident, a fluke...I mean, none of us knew about that little peanut allergy of hers, did we? So how could it be my fault, just because some mashed-up bits of shell somehow wound up in that arsenic I put into her cereal?

You don't know what it's like in here! I'm only eleven years old, for G-d's sake! Everybody here is older than me, except for Bertrand, but he just keeps turning all the other kids against me! And apparently killing your mother is one of those things that even the criminals look down upon, because they are all insufferably horrible to me, they beat me up, make fun of my accent, and I have thirty different adolescent men who want to make me their bitch, which it turns out is a lot less fun than it sounds! (Oh, by the way, it turns out I'm actually straight. Frankly I'm as surprised as anyone.) Please, you have to do something to help me! For G-d's sake, you married a Jew, you must have a good lawyer or someone who can do something! Please, dear sister, I need your help!

Your increasingly-desperate little brother,




Sitting in her spacious office, the entire New York skyline spread out through the massive windows behind her, Megan Goldman stared down at the four notes on her desk, hands folded in front of her face, thoughtful.

Four letters. Four family members. Four different, desperate pleas for help.

Her heart wretched for them. But it wasn't each letter's sob story that had caught her eye.

It was the openings.

To My Loving Daughter...To My Loving Sister...To My Oldest, Dearest Friend...

Taken one way, they were really touching. In another, ego-boosting sort of way, they could be read as groveling, desperate, a sign of how they each realized they needed her and were willing to suck up to get her help. Some people would have loved these openers.

But Meg saw through the words to the writing underneath.

Meg saw the eraser marks, and the ever-so-faint writing that remained on each palimpsest.

She saw the other names.

To Mandy, Brian had first written, before rubbing that out. To...Mellie? To Martha? He at least got the first letter.

To Peggy? Stewie had ventured. "Peg" sort of sounded like "Meg."

To Stacy? Chris had been way off.

And her father...he, or more likely whoever he had dictated the letter to, considering the good spelling, hadn't even bothered to erase. He had just X'ed it out. Dear Deb. X'ed out. Dear Mary. X'ed out. Dear Bobba Fett. X'ed out. The writer had then just stuck To My Loving Daughter over the corrections, squeezing it into the cramped space left at the very top of the paper.

All four of them were sending her letters, saying they loved her, begging for her help.

And not one of them could even remember her name.


The phone rang; Meg looked up, startled, then blinked and answered. "Hello?"

It was her secretary. "Ms. Goldman, your husband is here to see you."

"Oh." Meg quickly straightened out her clothes, pushing back a loose strand of hair. "Thank you, Connie. Send him in."

She hung up. A moment later the door opened; a tall, muscular man with long red hair entered the office, a bouquet of red roses in his hand and a broad grin on his face.

"Knock knock, m'lady," he said, brandishing the flowers toward her. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have a delivery for the most beautiful woman in the Alpha Quadrant."

"Oh...Neil. You shouldn't have."

"But I wanted to."

Meg smiled to herself as she took the flowers from her husband, pressing them to her face and breathing in their delicious smell. She looked up at him, her depression vanished. "So how did your meeting go at work?"

"Heh-heh...let's just say that the Nobel Prize Committee was very impressed by Goldman Pharmaceuticals' new AIDS vaccine," Neil said, gliding behind Meg's back and gently caressing her shoulders. "So I felt like celebrating."

Meg giggled. "Celebrating how?"

Neil rested his chin on her shoulder. "How's a weekend on the French Riviera sound?"

"Now? Just like that?"

He kissed her temple. "The company helicopter is waiting on the roof," he whispered, tickling her ear.

She giggled again. "But I can't just leave! It's the middle of the day!"

"Honey, none of these little redshirts are gonna complain when Captain Janeway decides to go on a little...romantic away mission."

Meg blushed. "You're so cute when you're nerdy." She grinned coyly, giving him a little peck on the cheek. "Just let me take care of a little paperwork first, okay?"

" little?"

Meg slipped out from his arms and leaned forward, scooping up the four letters on her desk into a neat pile. She bent down; the trash bin by her desk had a shredder attached. One small whirling noise later she straightened up, beaming.

"All done," Meg said, giving Neil a kiss on the mouth. "Shall we go now?"

He made a dramatic flourish and a bow, hooking his arm with hers. "After you."

And the two walked out of the office, closing the door and switching the lights off behind them.

One of the many reasons I started to dislike Family Guy: the endless Meg-torture. I'm sorry, I can only watch somebody be pointlessly abused and demeaned by their own family for so long, and when this idea hit me I just had to write it, for karma's sake.

Hope you enjoyed, and please feel free to comment or whatever!
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"Deck the halls with boughs of holly," Pony's voice rang through the living room as he hung up another Christmas bulb.

"Fa la la la la, la la la la," Soda finished for him, stringing up tinsel around the big front window.

"Tis the season to be jolly,"

"Fa la la la la, la la la la,"

"Don we now," Pony started but was interrupted by a groan from Darry who came out of the kitchen.

"Will you two please stop singing, its bad enough your making our house look like something from a bad TV Christmas special, but singing too,"

The two younger Curtis's looked at each other then started snickering.

"Bah humbug," Darry muttered, in a sarcastic manner.

"Come on Darry, get into the spirit of things,"

"No," And the older male walked back into the kitchen.

Pony and Soda just kind of shrugged and went back to putting up the decorations.  When they were done dinner was just about ready, so Darry walked back into the living room.

"Well what do you think?" Soda asked, coming to stand on one side of Darry as Pony came to stand on his other, both of them smiling at what they did.

"I still say it looks like the set of one of those bad Christmas specials," Darry said, tilting his head at it.

"You really are a heel," Soda said, crossing his arms.

"Is he as cuddly as a cactus?" Pony said smiling and looking at Soda.

"And as charming as an eel?" Soda grinned back.

"What are you two talking about?" Darry looked back and forth at the two.

"A bad banana with a greasy black peel?" Pony said, tilting his head.


"Well I don't see any termites in his smile," Soda said, looking closely at Darry's mouth, making the older male back up a step.

"Though he does have all the tender sweetness,"

"Of a sea sick crocodile?"

"What ARE you two talking about,"

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," The two younger Curtis boys sang at the same time.

"I am not," Darry said.

"Then here," Pony said, handing Darry a ornament that was shaped like a bunch of grapes.

Darry took it and looked at it. "And you want me to do what with this?"

"Hang it up,"

Darry rolled his eyes, but did as he was asked then started heading back to finish their dinner. "Merry fricken Christmas,"

"Say Merry Christmas right," Pony said, huffing lightly.

"Merry Christmas right," Darry said, walking completely into the kitchen.

"Close enough," Pony smiled as Soda tossed his arm around his shoulders.

"You know that bunch of grapes are crooked right?" Soda said, looking at it.

"I don't care, I'm just happy he did it," Pony tilted his head lightly.

"Well get him one day," Soda said, putting his head on Pony's.

The younger male smiled. "I know,"

"Stop talking about me you two,"

"Mr. Griiiiiinch,"
Random and short. Yes and yes.

BUT me and my mom were putting up the tree and I kept singing random Christmas songs and my dad was being all blah about it (he doesnít like any holidayís ) and I was all like : P to him. Then when we were putting up the lights and ornaments on it, I put the Grinch song on and this came into my head.

Then later (while I was still putting up the ornaments) my dad was back through and I handed him one (that looks like a bunch of grapes) and told him he had to put it on the tree. Well he did and it was crooked, but I didnít fix it since I was just so happy he did.

Then the whole Merry fricken Christmas and say it right part happened too lol.

Enjoy and once again, I own nothing.
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Meg saw it coming before Persephone even raised her hand, just by the expression on her face. She didn't even try to block it, because after what happened tonight.....after what she had done.....she felt that she deserved it.


Meg's eyes began to well up, not because her face hurt - although the force of the blow had caused it to swell up considerably - but because of the look on her sister's face. Anger, disbelief.....betrayal.


"I - I'm sorry" Meg said weakly, cringing at the furious aura radiating from Persephone. "I just love him so much! But....he loves"

"So you thought you could win him over by letting him RAPE CHRIS?! Oh sure, brilliant plan, Meg! Who cares if Chris is scarred for life and that boy goes to jail?! As long as you get your man!"

Meg looked to the ground. There was nothing she could say to justify her actions. All she could do was listen to the shaking in her sister's voice and watch the angry tears fall from her face onto the floor.

"Jesus CHRIST" Persephone choked back a sob as she said this. "After everything I've told you about my life, about everything I've been through, you go and do this?! I am so FURIOUS †with you, I feel like I'm gonna PUKE!!!"

Persephone turned her back on Meg and took several loud, deep, shaky breaths. Then she just stood there silently, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"I'm gonna go talk to Chris and that boy," she said at last, in a deadpan voice. "See if I can straighten things out. But to be honest, I don't think I can this time."

She started to walk away.

Meg wrapped her arms tightly around herself and squeezed her eyes shut.

"I'm really sorry." She said, barely above a whisper.

Persephone heard this, stopped, and sighed.

"Meg..." She said without turning around. "You're my sister. Nothing will ever change that. And I'll always love you, no matter what. But..."

She turned her head slightly, so Meg could see her cold, angry glare.

"I sure as hell don't like you right now."

She turned away again.

"Stay away from me for a while, okay?"

And with that, she walked out of the room.

Meg stood there, dried tears on her bruised face, with no more tears to shed. She vowed right there that she would do everything she could to gain Persephone's trust back. Boys in her life would come and go, but Persephone was the only sister she had. And she knew that she wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing her own sister, the girl who had suffered as much, if not more than she had, and had done everything in her power to protect Meg and be by her side, wanted nothing to do with her.

With this in mind, Meg headed to her room and prepared for bed.
Yeah I know, it's been a while since I did a Persephone fic, but I had to write this down after watching "Friends Without Benefits." Talk about a WTF episode!

So....yeah. Persephone's pretty mad at Meg right now. Don't worry. They'll make up.

Family Guy belongs to Seth McFarlane. Persephone belongs to me.
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1. Tell him the church being lit on fire was God punishing him and Johnny for smoking in the church.

2. Then add that since Johnny's cigarette lit the fire, God killed him. Then smile and wait for a reply.

3. Remind him that Bob's not around anymore, so the only reason Cherry doesn't want to be seen with him must be that there's something wrong with him.

4. Demand proof that his name is Ponyboy.

5. If he goes through a lot of trouble to find proof, say "I knew it! You owe me 10 bucks!" and stomp away.

6. If he easily provides proof, ask him how drunk his parents were at the time of naming him.

7. Tell him you read his english theme. If he replies, interrupt him and add that you thought it was disturbing and suggest a therapist.

8. If you see him on the street, walk up to him and ask for "A Pony boy". When he says so, ask him where the pony is. If he explains his name, reply you'd asked for someone to bring a pony as a kiddie ride for a birthday party. Give him dirty looks as you leave.

9. Tell him that when Dallas died, Ponyboy hadn't heard Dallas say "Fuck you" before saying 'Ponyboy'. Shrug and leave.

10. Sit behind him during a movie. Without him noticing, cut his hair. When he notices, innocently say you thought he needed a makeover from being blond.
Ever since I made this: [link] I've had annoying/disturbing Ponyboy in my mind.

...I think this is pretty bad. And sorry for burning your eyes.
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Spoiled Brat



Other Coraline 2’s face was flushed red with frustration as the Other Mother, or better yet known as the Beldam entered the room.

Other Coraline 2 looked the weight of a baby killer whale! Her enormous stomach stuck out like she was 6-7 months pregnant, stretching the fabric of her dark blue star sweater. Her pudgey arms were thick and round like logs; her hips were massive and her backside jiggled around as if it were stuffed to the brim with fruit jelly. In place of her eyes were two large black buttons.

The Other Mother once again looked like the slender, curvy and overall beautified version of Mel Jones only with button eyes and wearing a silk black dress with white polka-dots.

"What is it sweetie pie pumpkin?" she responded in a syrupy voice.

Other Coraline 2 sat on the floor of the other world‘s living room, looking miserably down at the empty pink box of chocolate bunnies. "It's just that…I’ve run out of chocolate bunnies.” She wiped some chocolate from her cheek. “I need more…”

“Well, honey, the thing is, I’ve kinda…run out of chocolate bunnies.”

“How come?” Other Coraline 2’s jaw dropped.

“You ate them all.”

The fat, pathetic excuse of a 11-year-old sat there on the carpet and began to cry in a whiny voice, covering her black button eyes. She then raised her head and made her button eyes shrink down to normal human eyes so the Other Mother could see her tears.

"I thought I had a mommy who loved me!" she wailed loudly.

"Oh nonsense sweetie! Mommy loves you more than anything in the world.” Other Mother kneeled down to Other Coraline 2’s level and hugged her around the stomach and petted her on the head.

Suddenly the girl’s voice turned raspy and coarse. "Oh mommy, I'm sooo hungry. Need...more food...don't think... I can last much longer like this." Other Mother watched as her daughter put on the usual ‘starved child from a third world country’ routine. Other Coraline 2 winced in starvation as she held her stomach and grunted.

"Do you want mommy to make you something to eat for breakfast?" It actually was morning after all and Other Coraline’s 1 & 3 and Caroline were still asleep.

"Oh, mommy...I guess I'll be body will just have to begin eating away at it's own flesh to carry on…that is if I don't pass out before then…gah...feeling faint.."

Other Coraline 2 held her hands to her fat head and looked as though she was going to die. Other Mother began to wonder to herself how she raised such a piggish and spoiled child. But she loved her all the same. "What is it you want for breakfast, my little whale?" she asked sweetly, pinching the girl’s tubby cheek.

"Well…“ She returned to normal position and tapped her chin with her thick index finger. “I suppose doughnuts and flapjacks with lots of maple syrup and powdered sugar would be nice."

"Alright hon-"

"Ooh, and maybe some waffles!"

"Ok, sweetie pie, it-"

"And some chocolate bars and scrambled eggs with crispy bacon!"

Other Mother stood up with a slumping posture and let out a tired ‘pffft‘. She made her way to the kitchen. "And don't forget the diet cola, mommy! I need something to wash it all down!" Other Coraline 2 called out as he sat on the couch lazily and rubbing her enormous stomach. Her mother obediently began taking down the ingredients from the fridge and cabinets. Half an hour later, there on the circular kitchen table lay a breakfast buffet big enough for a whole Ethiopian village. When she was done, Other Mother actually wiped sweat away from her forehead. Other Mother and the rest of her daughters were not going to have so much of a breakfast that morning. Due to one of her children’s gluttony, there was not much food left in the refrigerator or cabinet for anyone else to make their own breakfast. It was alright; she and the rest of her daughters were used to eating bugs the crawled across the floor.

"Piggykins! Breakfast is ready!" she called out to her already overfed child.

"Alright, mom, but can you bring it in here?! I’m too tired to get up!" Other Coraline 2 yelled with a yawn. Other Mother frowned, looking down at the food she had set up at the table with so much delicacy. Now she had to carry it across to the living room just because her little piglet was too lazy to come in to get it herself. Other  Mother gathered up the plates and took them all the way over to the obese monstrosity she still loved more than life itself.

Other Coraline 2’s mouth dropped with water pouring out from it like a facet at seeing her mother coming in with breakfast. She reached for the first plate when it was delivered to her and dove into it like a piggy in mud without even using her hands. Other Mother could have sworn she heard oinking and snorting as she stuffed her face.

The witch looked up at a framed picture on the wall that Other Coraline 2 had demanded be placed there. It was a beautifully painted picture of a pig -- Other Coraline 2’s favourite animal.

Other Mother secretly frowned at a realisation, not wanting her child to see it. She had now realised a major change in the appearance of her daughter and that did not just mean the day the girl was created. Other Mother looked from Other Coraline 2 to the picture of the pig, and from the pig picture to her fat daughter, and from her daughter to the pig again; but already it was impossible for her to say which was which.
A Coraline fanfic featuring the Other Mother and one of my OCs, one of her daughters, Other Coraline 2. Read ';Perfect Little Girl' to learn about the Beldam's daughters.
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Perfect little girl


The Beldam was hunched over the old worn table inside her private workshop, her equipment scattered about the table. Her appearance once again resembled that of Mel Jones but still tall and grotesque, much to most people’s horror.

Standing in the open doorway of the workshop was a young girl with blue hair in a dark blue star sweater. It looked like…Coraline Jones? No, this was not the same Michigan girl whom defeated the Beldam only months ago. Coraline was not missing an arm, a leg, an eye patch or even had…a black button eye.

“What is it, Coraline?” The Beldam asked the badly damaged and dishevelled Coraline look-alike with great annoyance, not turning around to face her. “Can’t you see that I’m a little busy here, daughter?”

“Mother…you’ve been in here for days. When will you come out?”

The Beldam responded sharply, looking over her shoulder at ‘Coraline’, “When I’m finished with what I’m doing! For the love of Jesus, Coraline, there’s a little thing called ‘privacy’, you ever heard of it?!”

“I’m sorry, mother.” ‘Coraline’ lowered her head in shame to look at her one foot. She was keeping her balance by holding onto a crutch.

Letting out a low sigh, the Beldam dropped her equipment and pulled a white tarp over whatever she was working on with her one remaining hand. All that was left on the end of her right wrist was a stump where her hand used to be. The witch stood up straight and turned around to face her ‘daughter’ as it were.

“Oh, Coraline, I’m sorry for snapping at you.” The Beldam apologize, rubbing her temples above her black button eyes with her sharp black nails. “But you don’t know how hard this is. I don’t have the doll. It‘s not easy to create from memory.”

“But you don’t need to make anymore, Mother. You have me and the others.” ‘Coraline’ said meekly, leaning frailly against her crutch.

The towering witch shook her head, putting her hands behind her back. “Oh, you’re all wonderful well-behaved girls.” She turned her back to ‘Coraline’ in deep thought. “But you just don‘t have that…spark of divine like she had. None of you do.”

“I can’t help it, Mother. I try to be the most perfect Coraline for you, but this…” ‘Coraline’ looked down at her mutilated body with self-loathing. “This doesn’t help at all.”

“I know. The truth is it’s really my fault.” Beldam turned back to ‘Coraline’ sadly and brushed her fingernails through the girl’s shining dark blue hair. “I’m not really sure where I went wrong with you. You’re missing an eye and two of your limbs. But I guess that’s what’s most likely to happen on the first try from memory.”

‘Coraline’ hugged her mother with her one arm. “Thank you, mother. That really make me feel better.”

Beldam kneeled down and hugged her child back maternally. She put her hand under ‘Coraline’s’ chin, saying, “All right, that’s good. Now you go play with your sister’s, okay?”

“Okay.” ‘Coraline’ turned around and slowly hobbled out of the Beldam’s workshop, not taking a look back. She closed the door behind her.

Now left alone in her twisted workshop, the Beldam turned back to the worn table and pulled the white tarp off of her latest project. She grinned widely, picking up her equipment and getting back to work, “Oh, but you’ll be perfect. You will…”


The other world had been transformed into what closely resembled Coraline Jones’ house, yet a lot of the colour had been drained away. It looked more like a cold gritty abandoned lunatic asylum than a family home.

‘Coraline’ limbed inside the now grey and almost gothic dining room where she was not alone. Two other Coraline look-alikes were sitting down at the table and opposite ends.

At the end of the table closest to the entrance in which ‘Coraline’ entered was a look-alike that looked the weight of a baby killer whale! Her enormous stomach stuck out like she was 6-7 months pregnant, stretching the fabric of her dark blue star sweater. Her pudgey arms were thick and round like logs; her hips were massive and her backside jiggled around as if it were stuffed to the brim with fruit jelly. In place of her eyes were two large black buttons. This ‘Coraline’ was stuffing her face with roast chicken, mash potatoes with gravy, sausages, cake and basically anything a fat spoiled brat would be provided with.

At the opposite end of the table where food was scarce sat a Coraline look-alike that looked just like the genuine article, except of course, the black buttons in place of her eyes. Her dark blue star sweater seemed to cling to her body more since she was a lot thinner than her ‘sisters’. She was reading from a worn tattered black book that laid open on the table and drinking from a cup of tea. Her express was blank and without emotion…like a lifeless doll.

The badly crippled ‘Coraline’, better known as Coraline 1 hobbled over to the table and stared at the mountain of food on the table with moist lips. She reached out her hand to take a bread roll, but another hand snatched it away.

The obese ‘Coraline’, better known as Coraline 2 hissed whiningly at her sister, “No, Coraline. This is my bread roll.”

“No, it’s not-”

But Coraline 2 held the bread roll far out of Coraline 1’s reach. “No, Coraline! It’s my bread!” She turned her head around in the direction of the dining room entrance, “Moooooooother!”

“Coraline, stop trying to take Coraline’s bread!” The Beldam’s stern voice hollered from her workshop.

The ‘Coraline’ at the far end of the table with a blank expression, better known as Coraline 3 said plainly, keeping her eyes on her book, “You two must learn to cooperate.”

“Shut up, Coraline! No one cares what you think!” Coraline 2 spat before she took a glass of her mango milkshake and chugged it down her gullet.

“That is immature and almost infantile behaviour, Coraline.” Coraline 3 took a small plate next to her and began buttering a bread roll for herself. “And I am not sure you realise but you tend to spit when you talk.”

“I don’t spit!” Coraline 2 picked up a circular pink cake and shoved her face into it.

Coraline 1 sat down at the table, placing her crutch underneath the table. She looked at her two sisters and sighed, “You know, Coraline and Coraline…I'm almost for certain that mother is making a new one.”

“A new what, my good sister?” Coraline 3 set her half-eaten buttered bread roll back down on her plate.

“A new Coraline.”

The expressionless Coraline 3 put her index finger to her chin and pondered this, “A new Coraline, you say? Are you sure?”

“Definitely. It was pretty big and covered up in a white tarp. Mother also talked about trying to create it from memory without a doll.”

Coraline 3 put her hands together and gave this a brief thought before concluding, “Hmmm, then your suspicious may be correct. I cannot say this is unexpected. Mother has become more determined to make the ‘perfect’ Coraline after three failed attempts.”

Coraline 2 pulled her face out from the pink sugary cake, her mouth covered with cream and pink frosting and she snapped angrily at her sister, “You’re talking a load of crap! Mother would never call us ‘failed attempts’!”

“Maybe not straight to our faces, she would not.”

“Mother loves us no matter how many other Coralines she makes!” Coraline 2 rebuked in their mother’s defence.

Coraline 3 picked up her cup of tea and said before taking another short sip, “I am not saying she won’t continue loving us.” She put her tea cup and hands back onto the table “I am saying that there is always an element of favouritism in all families. When the day comes she does create the ‘perfect’ Coraline, out of all of us there may be by then, she will be the centre of attention.” Coraline 3 then took a pewter pot filled with sugar; stuck a pair of metal tongs into it; pulled out a couple of sugar cubes and dropped them into her tea.

Coraline 2 and Coraline 1 paused for a brief moment before the former spoke out mockingly in a mimicking voice, ““There’s an element of favouritism in all families. I’m Coraline; I’m an emotionless dummy who speaks like a 100-year-old wizard!””

Both Coraline 2 and 1 began laughing loudly at that. Coraline 3 simply shook her head, stood up, closed her book and walked out the dining room with it and her cup of tea in hand. They were both ignorant. Blissfully ignorant.


Meanwhile, secluded in her workshop far off in the house, the Beldam was well underway with her project. In fact, she was near enough done. All she could do was pray that this time she had gotten it right.

Like she told her daughter, trying to create a look-alike for the other world from memory. Coraline 1 was missing limbs but since she thought it was a first-time mistake as expected, the Beldam tried again. Coraline 2 appeared a success at first, but the girl’s insatiable appetite and the results on her frame that followed put a frown of disappointment on the Beldam’s face. Then along came Coraline 3, whom had no physical deficits, making the witch think she had reached success. But when the girl’s near total lack of emotions and feeling began to show, the Beldam nearly came to the point of pulling out her own black hair. Granted, without emotions to fog her thoughts, Coraline 3 was a very clear and philosophical thinker. But then again, having no emotions or real personality took away what Coraline Jones herself. It simply did not work. Yet despite three unsuccessful attempts the Beldam kept to her proudest trait; her persistence.

The Beldam could not get over her obsession with girl that had escaped her clutches and set the other children’s souls free. How did she do it? How could one little girl outwit an all-powerful being like her? It just did not make sense at all. Coraline could have been provided one of the most luxurious childhoods possible and all the Beldam required in return was to sew buttons into the girl’s eyes. She was the perfect daughter the Beldam had craved; full of 'vim' and 'spunk' and all those wonderful old-fashioned words.

But now Coraline was gone. Through the door back to the real world and taking the Beldam’s right hand along with her. So what was the witch to do, especially with the door now locked? Try and rebuild whatever of her life she could.

And maybe that time was now. The witch was now sewing in the button eyes with exact precision.

“Yes…” The Beldam’s grin began to grow. This time her creation was going to be perfect; all with the exception of this one’s hair being a shining black instead of blue. That did not matter to her though. She preferred black to blue anyway so it might be called an ‘improvement’.


The new creation on the old worn work table began to stir. “Uhhh…” It was another familiar looking girl with black buttons eyes. Another Coraline. “Wha-?”

Her arms and legs wriggled around against the table like the worms. She began to find her voice, “Where…where am I? M-m-mother?”

“That’s right, my dear liebling.” The Beldam smiled maternally as she began shrinking in size and altering in shape. She started looking more beautiful and peachy with every passing moment. “It’s mommy.”

This new ‘Coraline’ pushed herself up right in a sitting position. She looked down and felt her dark blue star sweater before looking up at the Beldam, whom now looked gorgeous and curvy to boot. Her skin was no longer pale, her lips ruby red and her black hair shining and smooth.

“M-mother…” ‘Coraline’ got onto her knees and looked her mother in her black button eyes. “It really is you.”

The Beldam reached out her arms and wrapped them around the black-haired ‘Coraline’s’ back. She spoke with a more sweeter and heavenly voice, “It’s alright, sweetheart. Now what should I call you…hmmm…” She patted her on the head, feeling her long fingers through her daughter’s hair. “I think I’ll call you…Caroline.”

“Mommy…” This new look-alike now known as Caroline smiled, hugging her mother back.

“That’s right.” The witch pulled her new daughter up to her level with her arms and rested the girl’s face onto her own shoulder. “My Caroline. My beautiful little Caroline…”

She wanted something to love. Something that was not her. And it seemed that the Beldam had finally found it.
She wanted something to love. Something that was not her. With Coraline Jones now gone and out of her reach forever, the Beldam will go to any length to fill the void, even if that means creating a Coraline of her own...

This one-shot story is the set-up to a full Coraline story some time in the future. Please Read and Comment!
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Mel wandered aimlessly in the dark atmosphere. There were no walls or floors - just a spacious black void that made chills run up her spine. This was more than unsettling. She was also alone. She had been calling out her husband and daughter's names for a while now. How long, she didn't know. But there had been no responses from anyone. This "place" was also noiseless, and with each passing second of utter silence, fear crept its way deeper into her heart.

"Coraline! Charlie!" she called, becoming frantic. "Where are you guys?!"

Again, there was no response.

The dark-haired woman stopped, allowing herself a moment to pause and think calmly. She placed a hand to her temple, realizing that her heavy breathing was causing her to become lightheaded. When her brain had stopped pulsating, she finally heard it. It was faint, but after ambling idly for so long (or what it seemed to be) in complete silence, her ears where suddenly well equipped to pick up the most muted sound.


"Coraline!" Mel immediately registered. "She's here! Coraline's here!" She quickly started looking all around her, but seeing nothing and no one.


"There it is again! But where is she?" Finding her voice, she shouted into the darkness, "Coraline! Coraline, I'm here!"

Then suddenly, before her light green eyes and a little ways away, there was, what appeared to be, a white doorframe. And, low and behold, a white door standing within it! Finally, a passage! A way to escape this realm and move forward to...anywhere! Anywhere but here, that's for sure. Mel picked up her pace and made a sprint for the portal, quickly busting through it with her hands outstretched in front of her. She skidded to a halt within seconds of entering her new surroundings.

She was in the kitchen to their home in the Pink Palace! How strange! None of this made sense, but at least Mel was relieved to be somewhere she actually recognized - a place with walls and floors, and of course, people she knew!

"C-Coraline? Are you in here?" she spoke aloud.

"Yeah, I'm here," came the monotone reply.

The mother's heart skipped a beat and she instantly made for the room she heard the phrase come from. The parlor. Passing her husband's study, and quickly checking inside it to find that he wasn't in it, she made it to the parlor. Coraline, her daughter, dressed in her jeans and peach-colored, striped jumper, was standing to the left side of the room with her back to her mother. Mel, of course, found this a bit unusual as well, but then again, this entire experience was unusual!

"Oh, Coraline, there you are!" she exhaled, relieved. "I was afraid - "

She immediately stopped. Mel noticed that, even though she was not facing her, her child was staring directly at the tiny door in the wall - the one Coraline had become obsessed with when the family first moved into the Palace. The infamous black, iron button-key was also lodged into the door's lock. Another chill raced down Mel's spine. She looked back to the blue-haired girl, who had said nothing and not moved at all since her mother had found her.

"C-...Coraline? A-Are you alright?"

The supposedly completely normal 11 year-old girl turned her head around to face her mother and said in a very calm and collected voice, "Of course I am..."

Mel actually screamed when she was confronted by the face of her daughter, but with shiny, black buttons sewn over her usually brown eyes.


Mel Jones instantly shot herself forwards from her bed, her eyes wide open and panting rather raggedly. She sat a little hunched forward, her hands gripping the blanket covering her knees. A bead of sweat trailed down the side of her temple, but ignored it. The dark-haired woman briefly trailed her fingers over both her eyelids and exhaled in relief when she felt no smooth bone or plastic covering them. She then tried continuously blinking and unblinking her eyes several times before she could get a clear look at where she was.

She was in her bedroom. Her and Charlie's bedroom. She immediately looked to her right and found her husband lying next to her, facing her, and the blanket right up to his neck. His glasses were off and his mouth was open, a tiny puddle of drool collecting on his pillow. He let out a rough snore and rolled over onto his other side, away from his observing wife.

Mel just focused on her raised knees in front of her and eventually rested her forehead in her left palm.

"It was just a dream..." Mel thought to herself. "A very...odd and creepy dream." Her mind suddenly focused on her daughter and remembered what she had seen. She held her head in both her hands at the thought. "Coraline! Oh Coraline...why would I dream of something like that happening to you? Why? What is that supposed to mean?"

An uncomfortably icy wind made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The odd thing was, none of the windows to their bedroom were open. A bead of uneasiness settled itself in the pit of Mel's stomach. And the more she reminisced on her dream, the more it grew, and therefore knew that falling back asleep was hardly an option. Besides, Charlie's incessant snoring would easily keep her up anyway.
Well, if she was going to stay up, then she would at least be following whatever instinct had captivated her attention at the moment. She couldn't remember feeling this way since Coraline was a little, little girl and required several "check-ups" during the night to make sure she had actually gone to sleep when she was supposed to. Coraline was usually good about this, but on those stormy, lightening-filled nights back in Pontiac, they were almost always a necessity.

Instead, Mel got up from bed and fixed her side of it so that Charlie wouldn't be alarmed if he happened to wake up in the middle of the night. She took hold of her faded night robe resting on a chair near her nightstand and simply put it on, not bothering to fasten the belt that came with it. She also slid on a pair of slippers at the foot of her bed and carefully made it for the door, making sure that its old and creaky hinges, also, did not disturb her snoring husband. The hallway was just as dark as her bedroom, but she just stood in its encompassing darkness for a while, uncertain as to what to do next.

But slowly, she turned her head to right and caught the slight glimmer of Coraline's doorknob as the window above reflected moonlight onto it. She simply stared at it for a while, contemplating the possibilities in her head.

"It couldn't hurt to just check on her, right?"

Something inside her wanted desperately to quickly inquire on her young child. Maternal instinct, perhaps? She wasn't positive, but regardless, she felt the urgent need to make sure she was alright. That frightful nightmare of hers had apparently put her for a bigger whirl than she was willing to admit at first. Her footsteps were as silent as she could possibly make them. Of course, the ancient wooden floorboards didn't help in this endeavor to be quiet. Her hands got a good grip on it and carefully twisted it open.

Mel poked her head inside her daughter's room and watched as the illuminated paper moons, stars, and planets danced along the walls. Coraline's nightlight, no doubt. Pressing in a little further, the mother could make out the blanketed lump resting in the four-poster bed. A subtle rise and fall of the form confirmed that it was the young girl; asleep and safe.

She was safe. Safe in her own bed, and hopefully dreaming better fantasies than her mother.

But Mel was still stern. She wanted more than just a glance to make sure Coraline was well. She tried justifying that one couldn't possibly tell from such a distance away. So, of her own accord, Mel stepped fully into the silent room and pushed the door behind her. It did not close, and she didn't want it to, for the fear of it making a noise and disturbing the girl. Shuffling her feet so that she circled around the bed, she was confronted the peaceful, dreaming face of her 11 year-old daughter. Soon to be 12.

Coraline was nestled comfortably in her bed - her blanket pulled up to her shoulders, revealing just a touch of her orange, polka-dotted pajamas. By her cheek was her stuffed bear, to which she had one hand clutched upon. The rotating nightlight continued to make shapes of dim light prance along the room's walls, and even gently on Coraline's face. Mel just stood in the pale darkness, quietly observing her girl. Her little girl. The dark-haired woman felt a small tug on her heart, causing her visage to soften. Her Coraline was just fine. Sleeping like a baby.

But Mel was still not yet satisfied by this. Something urged her forward. Something in her wanted more. And she surprisingly succumbed to it. Without a second thought in her head, Mel cautiously sat herself on the edge of Coraline's bed, causing the mattress to make nothing more than a squeak. But still, this did not faze Coraline. The mother tightened her robe to her body as she smiled warmly at her sleeping child. So peaceful, so calm, everything was as it should be. She was perfect, Mel concluded to herself.

Suddenly, Coraline squirmed and let out a sleepy yawn, before settling herself more snuggly into her covers. Mel's grin increased in size. She let out a content exhale, satisfied with life. But it was short lived, because not a second later, Coraline emitted a small groan. Her eyebrows furrowed and lowered to her nose, crinkling it. Another low moan followed, this one more audible than the last. Mel was both startled and confused, but an idea of what was happening entered her mind. Was she having a bad dream? A nightmare, like she, herself, had had?

Coraline tightly gripped her bear and made more grumbles. But Mel was quick to silence them. She extended a hand and hovered it above her daughter's head, before gently placing it on her temple. She hoped that the warmth of her palm had sunk through to Coraline's mind. She continued by tenderly brushing aside a few strands of blue hair and eventually stroking the side of her head altogether.

The groans eventually subsided, but her nose and brows were still held tightly in a crumple. Mel was not sure where this next act came from, but the results of it banished all second thoughts.

"Shhh...shhh..." Mel soothed. "It's okay, Coraline. I'm here. Mom's here..."

Slowly, but surely, with a few more reassuring strokes of her hair, Coraline's contorted countenance was reserved to normal. Mel smiled at this and a sense of motherly pride snuck into her heart. She had been able to soothe her troubled daughter, without her even realizing it.

"That's my girl," she breathed.

She eventually ceased her hand and brought it back to her lap. And when she noticed a small smirk appear on Coraline's face, she knew that following her instincts had been a productive decision after all. Wanting to conclude this emotional even on even a better note, Mel decided to attempt something that she couldn't remember the last time she'd done it. She leaned in close to the side of her daughter's head, with lips puckered. But to her dismay, and before she could actually finish the deed of planting a kiss, she saw that Coraline's eyes started fluttering open!

Mel frantically retracted and sat frozen as her daughter continued to stir.

"M-Mom?" she murmured, rolling on her back and eventually lifting her head up from her pillow.

"No, no," urged her mother in a commanding whisper. "Go back to sleep."

Coraline would not be forced down, however. Once Mel realized her daughter's stubbornness was too strong, she abandoned the effort to coax her back to bed. Coraline lifted herself up with her hands, shifting one up to her face to rub her left eye. Tired though she was, she managed to bring herself into full consciousness rather quickly. "Mom? What...What're you doing here? It's the middle of the night."

Mel sighed, frustrated with herself and her daughter. "Well, I didn't want to wake you up, that's for sure," she paused. "But...I-I just came to check on you, if you must know."

The blue-haired girl was now sitting upright in front of her mother. She frowned as she folded her arms and challenged, "To see if I was actually in bed, right?"

"No. Actually, to see that you were okay..." there was another moment of silence, within which Mel would not meet Coraline's eyes. "To make were safe. That's all."

She was confused and raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah, of course I'm fine." Coraline patted her face, head, and abdomen, and comically remarked, "See? Nothing's wrong."

Mel let out a humorous snort but looked away again, her eyes downcast. "I can see that now."

"What do you mean?"

There was another 'squeak' from the mattress as Mel got up from it hastily, "No. I'm not gonna keep you up! I'll just - "

"No, Mom!" Coraline begged, reaching out a hand. "Tell me, please?! I wanna know!"

Overcome by the power of her daughter's 'puppy eyes', Mel sighed heavily and sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Alright..." she hesitated for a while, uncertain as how to retell her startling incident. "Honestly? I had a...a bit of a bad dream about you."

"Whoa, really?" Coraline was now desperately intrigued, shifting her arms so that they wrapped around her bent knees. "What happened?"

Mel cast a side-glance at her child, seeing how eager she had become. A small smirk adorned her face, endeared by her innocent curiousness and remembering how she had always been that way...and hopefully, always would. "I was...I was wandering alone in this dark void, calling out your and Dad's names. No one answered for the longest time, until I heard you calling me back. A door appeared and I ran through it. It lead me to the kitchen," Mel recollected. "I found you...i-in the the little door."

Coraline's eyes widened slightly as she arched her eyebrows upwards in surprise. She said nothing, however, and let her mother continue.

"You were just staring at it...not saying a word..." Mel shivered, "But when you turned had these...buttons sewn into your eyes!"

The blue-haired girl gulped and exerted every fiber in her being to restrain herself from reaching up to her face and touching her eyes. "Ouch..." she breathed.

"That was when I woke up. Seems like your old dreams are having an effect on mine," Mel finished with a slight chortle at the end.

Coraline smirked, somewhat nervously, "Heh, yeah..."

"And...well, there was no going back to sleep after that."

"You mean you were scared?"

The mother froze and stayed that way a moment before facing Coraline, her expression blank, but eyes searching. She had to really concentrate on an answer. She was even more pressured by the fact that Coraline looked absolutely in awe. She inconspicuously bit her lip before finally nodding.

"Yes. I guess you could say I was."

Coraline was even more shocked by this information. So much so, that she allowed her mouth to drop open a bit. Although, for her mother's sake, she closed it just as fast as it fell. A short passing of silence plagued both the mother and daughter - Mel, somewhat expectant for Coraline's response, and Coraline thinking of how to swallow such an unexpected fact.

"Huh..." was all she could manage while staring downwards into space.

"You seem surprised," speculated Mel, slowly.

The girl seemed somewhat shaken from her thoughts as she instantly refocused eye contact with her mother. "Oh! Well...yeah. I am. I mean..." she gripped her knees closer. "I always thought you weren't scared of anything."

Mel raised both her eyebrows. "You did?"

"Uh huh!" Coraline nodded. "Dad calls you 'the Boss', and bosses are leaders, which means aren't leaders supposed to be fearless?"

"Well - " Mel stopped, her mouth open for a reply, but then shut it when nothing came to mind. What Coraline theorized was interesting. She scrunched her brows together in thought before advising, "Well, it certainly seems that way doesn't it? That the ones that seem to have all the answers can't possibly be afraid of anything. Are always brave..." she paused. "But that couldn't be any farther from the truth. Everyone is afraid of something. Maybe even many things. It wouldn't be natural if you weren't."

"Yeah..." Coraline ruminated on this and then stated, "Ya know, Mom, I remember you telling me when I was little that bravery comes from fear! Being scared, but going on and doing it anyway - that's what bravery really is!"

Mel allowed a smile to adorn her face once more, thoroughly impressed with her daughter. "Did I really say that to you? I guess I did, didn't I?"

"Yup! And it's true, too!" the girl beamed back. "I haven't forgotten it, either."

"It shows," her mother commented.

Coraline blinked her gratitude, but then suddenly became more serious and had a look of uncertainty. Mel noticed it but Coraline spoke too quickly before she could actually inquire. "You know what?"

Mel shrugged.

She leaned in for a whisper, "I had a bad dream too."

Her mother did not want to let on that she was aware of that, seeing as the moment she settled before her daughter, she caught her in said bad dream. So instead, she put on a face and said, "Really?"

The blue-haired girl nodded and then went right into it. "It was weird. There were all these sewing needles around me - big, huge ones like harpoons!" she described, stretching her arms out for emphasis. "And then some were little ones that were extra sharp! They were coming through the walls, and from the ceiling, and even through the floors!"

Mel's eye twitched a bit, hardly noticeable.

Coraline recoiled slightly, her excitement detained. "And...and I was scared. But. But then I felt something on my head," she explained, doing so. "Like a hand or...something. It was warm and stuff, and then the rest of me was too. The needles totally evaporated - poof!" A somber pause, then, "And I Because a voice told me everything was okay. And I believed them..."

Mel grinned. Her heart was swelling with passion and empathy...same with her eyes. Although she would never admit to becoming this emotional, it wasn't any less true. However, any tiny tears quickly evaporated when Coraline continued, as she looked back up at her mother when she did.

"I think that was you, Mom. The one who made me feel safe and everything."

The mother reached out a hand and patted her daughter's knee. "You're darn right, it was. You know I would never overlook something as important as that."

"It was just a dream, Mom," Coraline chuckled.

"Maybe so. But I mean it just the same."

Brown eyes shining, Coraline smiled warmly at her mother - completely touched by her choice of words and calming reassurance. She couldn't remember the last time something like that had ever been said to her; by her mother at least. Even though she didn't show them all the time, it didn't mean that her mother completely lacked all sentiments. In fact, since her escapade with the Beldam and the Other World, she and her mom had gotten to a better place in their relationship. Both were trying to fix whatever rift they'd made for themselves, and things were getting a lot more breathable between them.

Mel's gaze shifted downwards and she reluctantly removed her hand from her daughter's knee with a sigh. "Well..." she started. "I don't want to keep you up any longer; you'll be tired in the morning."

Coraline raised a brow to go along with her slight frown. "It's Saturday. Well, probably Sunday now. I don't have school or anything."

"Ah, well...but - " Mel tried rationalizing, but failed. Even though, deep down, a part of her was feeling different, the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of a cranky Coraline.

"And besides..." added the blue-haired girl. She surprisingly reached out and touched her mother's arm. Mel froze at the sudden contact and eyed her child curiously, truly wanting to know her reasoning. Coraline could tell the impact of her action and continued with as much meaning she could muster into one sentence, "I...I like this. This...whatever it is we're doing here. Tonight."

Mel smirked. "You mean just...talking? You and I?"

Her daughter brightened and confirmed with a bit of an embarrassed chuckle, "Yeah..."

The mother gave one of her own as well, "Me too."

And so mother and daughter spent the remainder of the night talking. Just talking. Getting to know each other a tiny bit better, even though their conversations weren't anything particularly extravagant. Coraline rambled a bit about her and Wybie's recent adventures around the Ashland woods, to which Mel listened and enjoyed her daughter's enthusiasm. And Mel, although she had to be coaxed into doing so, prattled about what interesting things and people she had stumbled upon or run into on her daily routine: working, shopping, driving, etc. Laughs were shared. As were giggles and smiles. They both chatted about their overall likes and dislikes - many of which they were surprised to find - were very similar.

As the pink/orange sunrise began to peek from the distant mountains, the two females had come to a comfortable pause. For the time being, they had run out of topics to talk about, and simply passed the brief moment by just smiling and looking at each other. It was a glance of mutual respect and admiration.

But the blue-haired girl accidentally let out a tired yawn, and her eyelids sagged over her brown pupils. At this, Mel turned her head around to glance with surprise at the rising sun. She returned with a knowing smirk on her lips.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were completely tuckered out!"

Coraline gave a small scowl and was about to retaliate with a sharp remark, but something inside her made her stop. Instead, she immediately wiped the grimace from her face and nodded sheepishly, "Well...maybe a little."

"Why don't you try getting some sleep before the morning really arrives?" her mother proposed.

"Oh...yeah, okay," accepted the girl, preparing to lay back down in her bed by resting back on her elbows. Along with noticing Coraline's lowered brows, Mel detected a hint of reluctance in her tone, and a moments pondering over the reason for it finally gave her the answer. She grinned and leaned in closer to Coraline.

"Hey," she whispered, "I'm actually really glad I came to check on you when I did. I had a lot of fun talking with you tonight, you know."

Coraline's once perturbed expression vanished upon hearing these words, immediately grateful for them. She smiled back sleepily, "Me too. I...I wish I wasn't so tired. That way...maybe we still could. Keep talking, that is."

Mel nodded, pressing a light palm on her daughter's shoulder and forcing her down into her bed. "I know. But all good things have to come to an end. Just like anything else."

"It shouldn't, though..." Coraline huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and allowing her mother to neatly fold her sheets and blanket back in order, and eventually tuck her in. Something she could hardly remember her mother doing.

Mel chuckled, amused by her daughter's never-failing stubbornness. "Ah, but this..." the dark-haired woman began. She then, to her child's surprise, leaned in closer to her and gently planted a loving kiss on her forehead. She pulled back slightly to see Coraline looking happily bewildered. "This...This never ends."

The blue-haired girl's smile widened and widened until finally, she shot herself forwards in her bed and grabbed her mother into a hug - one that simply had their cheeks pressed together. Mel was surprised at first, but succumbed to it rather quickly with another light chuckle. She pulled Coraline tight as well, relishing in the sensation of feeling her daughter securely tugging on her robe and the warmth of her cheek held firmly against her own.

"Thank you..." both mother and daughter whispered at the exact same time, which caused the two of them to release their embrace and look each other surprised in the eye.

Coraline giggled, "Stop finishing my sentences!"

"You stop it first!" Mel chortled back, purposefully mussing her daughter's blue hair. Eventually, when all giggling had subsided, she urged the child back into bed. "Alright. Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay," the girl conceded with light-hearted eye-roll.

The mother quickly tucked her in and then switched off the rotating nightlight, seeing as the sun was about to rise anyway. She then got herself to her feet and made for the door (already opened a crack) at the other end of the room.

"You gonna go back to sleep too?" Coraline yawned.

Mel ran a hand through her dark hair, looking back at the child as she pulled open the portal with the other. "Hmmm, I think so. Might as well." She paused, about to close the door behind her. She just eyed the snuggled girl for a few seconds before adding, "Sweet dreams, okay?"

"Uh huh," she responded.

Mel nodded once and was about to finally shut the door, when she heard, "Wait! Uhh..." Immediately, she pulled back to see Coraline sitting up a little in bed, looking a tad flustered, as if what she had stopped her to say was suddenly out of her grasp. But the heartfelt grin she finally gave her mother reassured her of her words.

"Love ya, Mom..."

Mel's eyebrows shot up as her eyes widened, totally struck by her daughter's comment. But after letting it seep in, her visage quickly softened, and remarked slowly and honestly, "I love you, too, Coraline."

Happily content and just as touched, the blue-haired girl laid her head back onto her pillow and continued smiling as she gently shut her eyes. Mel watched her child do so with the same expression on her face as well, while then silently closing the door behind her. She then made her way down the hall towards her own bedroom, knowing that there was no nightmare in the world that could sour the fullness she now felt in her heart.
Wow! "Coraline" fanart! It's been a while since I've done any of that, hasn't it? And not even fanart -- fanFICTION! It's been even longer since!

But yes, another "Coraline" fanfiction! A oneshot that I made directly after seeing "Brave". The mother/daughter relationship just hit me right in the feels, and I HAD to make something regarding it! You see, Coraline and Mel's relationship, for me, was my first real introduction into the glorious sentiments a mother can have for her children. I love their bond a lot. A LOT.

Now, I know you might be thinkin', "if this was inspired by 'Brave', why isn't it a 'Brave' fanfic?" Lovely question, dear reader! It's because I have ANOTHER fanfiction that I'm currently working on that involves Merida, Elinor, and the whole "Brave" gang! It's slightly mother/daughter -ish, but for my first "Brave" fic, it focuses a little bit more on Elinor and Fergus! The cutest couple in all the world! :aww:

So that answers that. Anymore questions? Oh, yes, the short blurb about what this oneshot is about! Well, as it's titled, Coraline and Mel sort of just spend one night talking together -- getting to know each other a little more and just sharing each other's company. They talk about dreams and what it means to be brave (a topic heavily important in "Coraline" AND "Brave"!)! Read it and see for yourself!

I hope Mel isn't TOO out of character in this, seeing as this is something she didn't and probably wouldn't do in the movie. But I just wanted to write something cute and heartfelt, so in the long run, I guess I don't really care if she's too OOC. What I guess I really want is all of you NOT to be all up in arms about it, if she doesn't seem right to you.

Anyway, I have grabbed your attention for long enough! Read on and tell me what you think! In case anyone cares, this will also be posted on my tumblr [link] and!

Enjoy! :lol:

"Midnight Talk" (c) ~Graystripe64
"Coraline"/ Coraline/ Mel (c) Laika Studios, Henry Selick, Niel Gaiman
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((Set before the book, Mrs (new mum) Curtis speaks first))

"--Well what's wrong with 'Darrell Shanye'?- Come on, it suits him!"

She looked down into the tiny bundle in her arms. Who could've thought, a few hours ago, this little guy was curled up inside her womb?

She turned back to her husband. He was still looking dubious.

"Li'l baby Darry Curtis?"

He pouted for a moment, contemplating this. After a while he smiled.

"Okay, okay- here's the deal. We go with your fav. for this one, so long as I get to name the next two more, eh?"

She cocked an eyebrow. Still grinning as her husband scooped baby Darry from her arms, she thought to herself silently.

After the pain this one caused me? -Like hell I'm having two more kids!!

First things first...

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the Outsiders, all rights to the wonderful S.E.Hinton whom I admire greatly.

Okay, as you can probably gather by the length of this one, I didn't have much time when writing it, but its an idea thats been swimming around my 'brain' for a while now and I liked the thought of writing something purely humerous, nothing serious and deep that was gonna bog me down. This was the result. Hope you get the gag ^^
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