How do I...?How do I Conform?
1.To the norms and expectations of my family.
I'm sorry daddy, I tried to be perfect.
2. To the rules of school, the classroom, my teachers.
I just couldn't take it today. But they will never understand why I had to run out of class.
3. To the norms and expectations of my peers.
I wish I'd never told them I was gay, then maybe they wouldn't hate me so much.
4. To the rules of society and what is acceptable and appropriate human behaviour.
I'll just have to hide how I feel for the same sex. Thats the only way I'll ever be accepted. No one wants to be alone.
5. I conform to religious beliefs... God tells me I'm unnatural....or I choose not to conform to any. I don't think thats true at all, if there is a God, he made me this way.
6. I conform to the expectations of my partner. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you, not thin enough, not attractive enough, not anything you want in a partner anymore. Who I love or hat
Deep In ThoughtShe walks along the corridorDeep In Thought2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
She wants to go
Anywhere at all
She walks into an empty classroom
And collapses into the first chair
Hitting her head against the desk
LEAVE ME ALONE"
Insults keep on throwing themselves
She stands up and
leans her head against the window
Stares at the sun until her eyes hurt
Until her head hurts
A knock on the door
And a group of girls walk in
"We were looking for you"
"Why did you go running off like that?"
She stands up straight
She leaves with them
And leaves the voices
Inside the classroom.
For her to be alone
To kill her
From the inside out.
HopeWorry not, my one, for if you'll hear;Hope2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Put the dead ground to thine ear,
Hark! Spring's new sound shall echo through
Thine chest, thine eyes, are born anew.
DepressionYou're in a deep state of darkness,Depression2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a sadness all the time,
Worry covers your thoughts,
and you wonder what it'd be like if you died,
Everyday can be hard,
or at least to where you can get through,
You feel like you don't fit in,
You feel so emotional,
Sometimes you end up hurting yourself,
You won't help,
But you're afraid of what people will think,
So you put on a mask of happiness,
and then you're hiding,
Hiding yourself behind a lie,
Then the lie grows,
like a spiders web,
and you don't tell people how you feel,
you want help,
You feel so sorry for the things you've done,
Then you end up in the hospital,
being questioned and poked,
All That I HavePlease don't leave me hereAll That I Have2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's so dark
I can't breathe when you're not here
Please, forget what they say
You're NOT hurting me
You ARE healthy
You're NOT pulling me down
And most importantly,
You're NOT lying
Remember what you told me
Way back at the start
"It's you and me
You and me forever
No-one can change that
No-one in the world
So welcome me
I'll never go away"
Remember that promise, honey?
You're breaking it now.
Please, don't go
Not after all we've been through
You're all that I have
You Promised A ChangeYou promised me that things would change,You Promised A Change2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But everything has just stayed the same.
Seeing RedSilenceSeeing Red2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The clouds are around me
I can touch them
Pillers of smoke
Reaching up into
There's no-one here
There's nothing here
Not a sound
Not even a whisper
No living thing
It's all white,
The most delicate
I never thought I'd make it
But I'm here now
And the clouds
As far as the eye
I'm so sleepy
I glance up
There's something coming
I sit up from my soft blanket
It's not right
Upsetting the balance
I yell for it to stop
My shout echoes in the space
But it keeps on coming
faster and faster
closer and closer
I can smell it,
And it hits me.
Throws me off balance
And I fall
Right through the clouds
I land on earth
I carefully straighten the pen on my desk
Someone wearing a red sweater
Had knocked it out of place
I float back int
Don't cry...Don't cryDon't cry...2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It'll be fine
Don't tell me not to cry.
Don't tell me it'll be fine.
I know what's going on with me.
No questions about it.
Oh yes, I'll be fine.
As long as we keep the knives sharp
and my stomach empty.
Yes, things will be fine then.
I'll be happy when my stomach is flat
and my blood is staining the ground.
Until then BLUE, WHITE, COLD.
Lifeless, empty shell, a hollow figure
of who I once was
and who I should have been.
I'm not alright. I'll never be alright.
The Faceless GirlIf you took away the iron shellThe Faceless Girl2 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
If You took away the laughter
If you took away these things
She would rebel
Against the charade that was her master.
If you took away the happiness
and the illusion of fake courage
You would begin to see the shyness
And the Faceless Girl would flourish.
You would've seen that
She was not what she seems
The Joyfulness would break away
Revealing all her broken dreams.
You'd see she cried not from her eyes
For she had none
But she cried from her saddened soul
In the light she had begun
But the darkness took its toll.
She was the faceless girl
That no one seems to see
Her silent screams reveal
she wanted to be is free.
She wore a mask of joy
That people seemed to like
But underneath the mask
she cried with every strike
Do you not see how
Your forked tongue slashes
Opening up the scars
Of previously made gashes
Do you not notice
How the faceless girl pretends
she looks like a beautiful Lotus
But her weary life, she ends.
In the dimly lit white room
She used a
PaperclipI am a paperclip.Paperclip2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Once, I held all the papers together.
But something went wrong.
I've bended into a new shape,
that can no longer hold the papers.
They fly away from me.
No, please come back,
I didn't mean to change my shape!
Of course I'm telling the truth,
but they fly away anyway.
I continue to try and twist
myself into the shape the papers want.
But I just become more tangled.
I'm unrecognizable now.
Unsure of the shape I was before.
What has become of me?
A twist scrap of metal with no purpose.
I can't help anyone anymore.
I just lay on the ground, useless
until I am swept up and put into the trash.
I can't untangle myself,
there are too many twists and turns.
I don't understand the point of
trying to become the old shape I once was.
If I saw that shape now,
I wouldn't know what it was
or what it was for.
Oh how I long for the comfort of my long, lost papers...
Let GoThe body, it screams, shakes violently, falls,Let Go2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Clenching inside, tears of anger, they roll,
The blood red devil, itself, he calls,
Uncontrollable limbs, splinter sharp as they break,
The heart, tearing lungs, it rips and it aches,
Taming the monster inside with a stake,
Ear piercing echoes follow around,
Crushing the bones as they slam on the ground,
The girl, so innocent, her crimson surrounds,
Tongues whisper silent curses unknown,
The head, it pounds with each word being moaned,
Dark red tears fall down below,
I've let go.
My GuideMy Guide2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Every time I talk
It feels like I live this all over again
Every step of the big walk
I have to count to ten
Every time you fall
You get back upon your feet
And you hope you'll be standing tall
For the next heartbeat
I need someone by my side
To be my sweet little guide
Even an ant will do
As long as he knows my way through
Though you might not be happy today
The moon still comes out at night
To remind us while the world is grey
There's always a light that shines really bright
The light in front of your feet
Guiding you through this dark street
Maybe the light is a friend
Lending you a helping hand
My bodyguardMy bodyguard2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
When life throws you a curved ball
You'll see me peeking through the fence
Encouraging you to stand tall
When you fall down, I alert every sense
I will not let you hurt on my watch
So if something goes wrong, I'll kick my brain up a notch
I will stick to your side
Like paper to the glue
Just to make sure you will be fine
And it's not just a design
A designed smile you wear
Because you still feel the pain everywhere
No I won't stop, even if you ask me to
You mean the world to me, it's true
I can't even let go for a second
Of you I am so very fond
People All Around MeThere's people all around mePeople All Around Me2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yet they don't mean a thing
Just because they're there
Does not mean a thing
Yea, they're here, they're there
But even so, this pain is too much to bare
These feelings overwhelm me
Like a cancer of the mind
These tears, they consume me
They're robbing me blind
And sometimes I wonder
When ever will it end
And I can't help but wonder
Will my heart ever mend
They always tell me, "You're not alone."
And I wish I could say I feel the same way, but I don't
Because these memories keep haunting me
And these feelings overwhelm me
Yes, there's people all around me
But then why do I feel so alone?
Her SongTrapped in the tower, suspended in timeHer Song2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Long hair with flowers, face of an angel
Her bittersweet song, the notes so divine
Sings the story of the angel that fell
She dreams of her love, the charming hero
She dreams of her glorious escape day
She dreams of the might she¡¯ll beat down her foe
She dreams that she¡¯ll finally fly her way
And so she descended from her tower
She floated right into the prince¡¯s arms
The evil witch relinquished her power
The witch will never cause any more harm
This dismal verse had now come to an end
Her song now flows sweetly, her heart to mend
Why the Hate?Why is that although you've never met me, that you hate me so deeply?Why the Hate?2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
What did I do to deserve this hate?
The circle went perfectly.
Just one little hitch.
Do you blame me for the pain
Your lover went through?
I'd never hurt him,
Though he hits me constantly.
How come though our religion is of peace,
You wish me dead?
Why is it that I'm 'possessed'
When my things 'burn' you?
Why is it my fault
When all I'm doing is
Looking for Angels?
You don't even know me.
How can you hate me?
If I died tonight,
Would you be happy,
Or sad you won't be able to torture me anymore?
well done you homophobic bunchYou...expected the world from mewell done you homophobic bunch2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I had nothing to give
I told you I trusted you and
handed over the key
let you into my world
and I saw the glint
you said you would stand by me
yet you watched me sink
I don't want to wear
jewellery or the colour pink
you think of me stupid and
that I cannot think
so to all of you
who hate us freaks
let me tell you
well done you homophobic
Falling for YouI can recall you sayingFalling for You2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"girl, don't fall for me."
So why is it that I miss you?
And I can barely breathe.
I guess I gotta think about it,
level it out.
My heart pounds, my vision's blurred,
and the room starts to spin around.
Miles and miles apart,
through the distance somehow,
you pull on my heart strings,
And I don't know how, guess I'll figure it out.
'Cause I think that maybe I just might be falling for you...
You say you're a heartbreaker,
But I've given you time.
Maybe they're just uncovered,
These odd feelings of mine.
It's time to face the music,
You're just something I can't live without.
My tears fall, and through it all I can't make a sound.
Miles and miles apart,
a lil journal+ a lil story 1/6/12 Friday, 11:38 pmSo. Tomorrow is Saturday. Guess I can't complain.a lil journal+ a lil story 1/6/12 Friday, 11:38 pm2 years ago in Personal More Like This
I scored the highest out of 130 auditioners who showed up the same day i had. So apparently i got in and (thank God) will be getting out of my moms house.
Also I've got a date tomorrow? It's the first time me and my er... person of almost five months (idk y i hate the word boyfriend but it irritates me) have been on a real date, ALONE, and not at either of our houses. so yeah. were going to go see sherlock holmes. and im gunna sneak snacks into my shoplifters purse. maybe some cheesy popcorn. some chips. other stuff. idk.
also i got my cartilage peirced. about time i quit being a bitch and just got it done. how
15. Silence - 300 Theme ChallengeAnd I'm perfect, but I'm dead, though the first one belongs to you.15. Silence - 300 Theme Challenge2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And I'm crying, but I lie, because I do not want you to worry.
And you hurt me, but I ignore, the pain is worth the trip.
And I'm exhausted, but stand, for you to think me proud.
And I escape, as a secret, just to think my way through.
And I hate, but seen is love, so I can make it through the day.
And I hide, though so talked about, until eyes I do not recognize follow me.
And I smile, so I can't be questioned, every fucking day.
And I do whatever you want, so you'll be happy, though you'll never truly want me.
And I ignore, so you will follow, to keep you on your feet.
And my heart, its growing opposite, although I ignore the plea.
And as I write, the creases smooths out, this is how I live.
So please read each line carefully, so I can be somewhat herd.
And maybe forgiven.
30 Day Letter Challenge: To my BrotherDear Brother,30 Day Letter Challenge: To my Brother2 years ago in Letters More Like This
There's a lot I can say about how I feel about you and yet, it's hard to. You are a nice person and you're great when you're nice to me. However, I'm not gonna deny that in my life, you have been incredibly spiteful.
When we were younger, everything I did was "dumb" or "stupid" to you. You couldn't even support the things I liked to do. You just tore them down. You seemed to think because I was the youngest out of the house, that I was a dumb slow and pathetic kid who really was truly stupid and didn't understand the simplest of words. You know, just like Mum, you seem to think that because I have Aspbergers, I'm as slow as hell. Well guess what? I'M NOT. Yeah, I can be slow at times but doesn't everyone get that? People do have their moments.
I don't know if you knew this but I was picked on at School relentlessly and normally, when a person comes home from School after a day of bullying, they'd feel relaxed at home. But not for me. Almost EVERY DAY when I would come hom
This CurseFreedomeThis Curse2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know in my heart that I can stop. The bleeding will end and I will join a new dawn
These chains will break
And I will be able to be with you again
Watch out for the searchlights and don't open the body bags and then you might make it in this dream world
It feels like I'm trapped in a glass tomb and everytime I breathe I suffocate
Choking on carbon monoxide wail the silver oxide of a once better life pools in my bloodstream
This body isent supposed to be a cage to squirm and scratch and writhe inside
Do I have to light my house on fire before you see the smoke signals?
Once apon a time a world existed where nobody ever felt pain
Happiness in a little bottle;like silver. Shiny. Glimmering. Never first place but it looks good and thats all that matters,right?
As long as you can put that smile on your face every day people will adopt you into their social group,into society into the world but what they don't know about you will hurt them
Although I do still re
The Gone VitalityHow wrong the world must be,The Gone Vitality2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Not to see,
The beauty hidden deep beneath.
How ugly is society,
With plastic faces, plastic chests,
Computer pixelated brains,
So full of lies and empty hate,
The only attributes it keeps?
We fall outside of it,
Where we shall sit,
You and I are special persons
Learning all there is worth learnin',
Slowly, surely, never hurry
Always dancing round in slower motions than the rest;
The rest shall weep.
Tattery hair in braided knots,
Combed back curls in wooded rot,
As we lay shoulder to shoulder neath' the tree.
Falsely heired the empire fair,
Of a white house, grand, grand stairs,
Leading up to oval offices,
Where he shall make the rules of this,
A new world, for the worse, since we've burned it.
All the time where we spent under boughs,
Of great oaken trees and spruce's glow
In the Twilight of the world we knew ran deep.
But since nothing matters anymore,
And gone away's the world adored
By us, we'll simply go ahead and
Seeing RedThe whisper of a grinSeeing Red2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A flick of the tail
Try and grasp his warning
But to no avail
¡°Off with the head!¡±
Blue smoke comes blowing
Thick clouds float this way
The caterpillar with his pipe says
¡°She¡¯s coming, she¡¯s coming, Run Away!¡±
¡°Off with the head!¡±
Teacups clatter in fright
¡°Half cup is all you need.¡±
As the Mad Hatter looks with crazed eyes
¡°Half cup, get going, Succed!¡±
¡°Off with the head!¡±
Humpty Dumpty falls of his own accord
¡°I will die with my head on my neck!¡±
¡°All the King¡¯s soldiers and horses won¡¯t put me back!¡±
¡°Myself, I¡¯ve made a wreck.¡±
¡°Off with the head!¡±
It reverberates inside the mind
¡°Off with the head!¡±
And as golden curls tumble and roll, her face is etched
With the ho