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To my Future Self, 

Breathe. You must be thinking, seriously, my teen self is acting like an old fart of a teacher telling off overstressed kids, but seriously, breathe. Stop. Pause. Listen. It's your heart beating. It's telling you, I'm beating so damn hard, I might just kill you one day. 

Okay, let's digest. There can only be two reasons for your heart to beat like that. One reason is because I wouldn't have changed- I would still be that overzealous, neurotic, depressed teenager with a penchant for word thieves, dream catchers and moment makers. The other reason would be just the opposite: it's beating with life, with purpose, with hope. 

I hope you'll be that second person. 

Because being that second person means being serenaded by Chopin in a boy's car, travelling down to Bondi Beach watching sculptures rear out of the sea and you're feeling like, maybe, love may finally find you at last. Being that second person means you just won't shut up talking to patrons at a writer's festival overlooking Sydney Harbour, as the sun paints your excited face orange and bright with your passion for words. Being that second person means laughing with the Martians with Markus Zusak, your literary hero.

Remember that? Remember all that? I hope there are many more moments out there. Because every year is just going to get better. If you are true to yourself, and you told yourself, "That's it, I have enough" of seeing life pass you by in a tangle of Facebook posts and narcissistic misery, and you did something about it, then hell, at 50, I'll be so happy for you. Just don't be like Mum. At 50, she's a terracotta warrior, her face entombed with lines of misery and traces of regret about dreams never pursued. About one too many sacrifices made to give you life. I hope you'll treasure what she's done for you. But I also hope you'd have turned your back on her expectations and followed what your heart said instead too. No one has a monopoly on your "best interests". No one.   

So I want you to read this and say, "Yes, I've done it. Yes, I'm still doing it." I want you to read this and drag out the digital archives and tell me, look, I've written my first novel. I've travelled the world and tasted the Mekong in my soles. I've paddled across the Atlantic and sought the Great American Friendship Dream and I got it, the day I touched down in an American airport and get glomped by a giant whose heart beats life and purpose and grit and beauty, all at once. I've watched Ludovico Einaudi open and close my heart with a teasing ripple of his piano genius, I've watched the Northern Lights blaze open the heavens and I've seen a white Christmas- I've seen snow pile on my doorstep waking up on that special day of the year. And I want you to save the best for the last. I want you to teasingly rip out a page from notebooks (undoubtedly, anachronistic by your own time, but ever the Luddite, you will keep holding onto these precious moleskines) and write in purple letters: I am a writer. And then, you'll sit me down, and say, Rachel, that doesn't mean a wide-eyed innocent gal who thought words could always save lives. That means a word thief with a flame of life clutched in her fist. And she'll strike at every turning page of her life story like Zeus and his lightning bolts, and it would be better than being a god, because you know you're going to die soon. You're going to be vulnerable. You're going to grieve and be hurt and be lost and be found again. And then, you'll realise, that's the story of life. That's the quest of life: to be a master of one's uncertain destiny. Then tear it all to pieces and say, Rachel- actually, I was lying to you all along. No one knows the answers. You have to live first. 

And so, that's what this letter is for. To remind you. To infuriate the hell out of you. Because even our best intentions go astray and the cynicism of harsh experience hardens like cholesterol. There is no ladder to climb in life. It's just a constant hopscotch whose boxes twist and flex like a liquidised version of snakes and ladders and you struggle to keep your footing. But that's okay. Because with the danger, there will be fun. 

Or maybe not. Surprise me, my friend. Laugh at the youthful assumptions that litter this letter. At least you took a deep breath to reflect on this turning point of your life. Now do me a favour. Write me a reply and tell me how terribly wrong I am probably going to be. 

Love, 

Teen Me. 
813 words.

For the Dear Teen Me Contest. Being in the awkward position of being an adult but not out of my teen years, I decided to write to my 50 year old self. Happy days. :B
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Beautiful Creatures - Lena Duchannes Light
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my entry for beautiful creatures contest with special thanks to my boyfriend's support and motivation. <3

hours taken: 72 hours more or less
medium: PS5 and tablet

Edit:// Thanks for all the faves, comments, and new watchers!
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Uploading this for the Draw This Again contest so sorry for the double post :(

Link to new version: [link]

Link to old version: [link]
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My current account: :iconfishiebug:

EDIT: guys please no more "the old one is better/I personally like the old one more" comments, I know it's mainly because of the style change and it's just your opinion but it still kinda makes me feel bad and I don't want to disable comments.

NOTE: I could've drawn this in an anime style since I do still draw anime but I felt that a more stylistic style will allow me to show my progression in color and shading. I do plan on entering again with an anime style remake.

I really didn't want to upload this to my old account but apparently I have to since this is the account where the old deviation is.

Old:[link]

New in current account: [link]

Original character (c) Me
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READ THIS!!!>>> I made an extra entry that was basically the same as this, just minus the copyright infringement (lol), which can be found here; [link]

Well since I'm not advertising this on my page it's getting less and less views and therefore falling in popularity... but hey that's not really the main point of it all, is it? Deviant art staff and mentos representatives choose the winners, right?

This is a pretty popular thing so I would expect someone to have already done this. But I haven't checked through all the submissions, so I don't know if anyone has made one like this... but it's worth a shot

For those of you that know NOTHING about the Legend of Zelda games (+ haven't played Ocarina of Time), here's a brief explanation of what's goin' on here;

Both guys are the same character; Link, the Hero of Time. The Link on the left is a child, when he lived in Kokiri Village (a place in the forest inhabited by orphaned children). There, he had no fairy (as did all children of the forest), and was an outcast of sorts. In Ocarina of Time, you start out as young Link, and when you pull the Master Sword from the stone in the Temple of Time, you get sent into the future as adult Link. The Link on the right is him in his late teens to early twenties. It is as this version of Link that you finish the game and defeat Ganon and save Hyrule.
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Because if I missed this opportunity, I'd have gotten so upset that I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Truth.

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My entry for the "Draw This Again" contest.

I was so happy when I found out about it! I had wanted to do this for so long and now I could get the chance to win as well! * v *

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I chose this old artwork; [link]
Ugh it's so horrible. I mean, by the looks of it, I had no clue what anatomy was. OTL

So yeah, enjoy the improvement! :heart:
And wish me good luck. ; v ;

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Art (c) ~melonjam
Meme (c) *Bampire

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Here's the full version of the new picture, [link]
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When I'm sad or want an escape from the stresses of the world, I like to water the plants and grass outside. I know it sounds strange, but everything seems so happy when I spray it down with some water, it makes me feel good inside. :)

Whenever I drench the lawn in the hot/dry summer, it always seems like the cool, deep water could lead to somewhere else.

What if the plants were giving me happiness in return?

(c)Momo-Deary
Real big contest!! :D So super excited!!!!! <3 Wish me luck!

To Ryan~ who I fell deeper for than I once thought! lol (corny!!!) Love you, hot stuff <3 tehe
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..... yay! contest time!!! *gives the cheshire cat a hug*

You think this is creepy? try meeting my ego.


" how doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail,
and pour the waters from the Nile on every golden scale.
How cheerfully he seems to grin,
how neatly spreads his claws,
and welcomes little fishes in with gently
smiling
jaws."
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