Bringer of Darkness and Killer of DreamsSilence, oh killer of dreams, how you break me apart and leave me alone
Silence, great demon of dark, how you remind me of all the things I've messed up and done wrong
Silence, bringer of evil, how you shake my world and bring me to tears
Silence, murder of happiness, how you won't leave me alone
Why must you torture me with your ill fitting grin, tearing at my heart and reminding me of everything that I've done? Silence, great killer, why do you bring us to our knees, make us cry and leave us be? Where is the happiness, why can't you leave me content?! What have I done to deserve such an act of unkindness?
The choice.Do I want to die?The choice.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know.
How would I die?
A slow and painful death?
Or quick and painless?
Does it really matter to you?
I suppose not.
I just want to escape.
Run away to a land far beyond.
Beyond the world that I thought I once knew.
The world that has turned so cold.
So cold, its driving me to this.
My own death.
But that's oaky.
I'm happy to go.
Happy to be dead.
I wouldn't have to worry.
Worry, bout the petty things in life.
Bout, the lies and betrayal.
Just that light, at the end of the tunnel.
No one will notice.
There won't have to be no apologies.
I'll be just like a ghost.
Here one day, gone the next.
Care free and happy, in my new world.
Where I can be anyone I wanna be.
Without the judging.
And the hurt.
A place where I'll finally call 'home'.
See What You've DoneI see you there and I know you see me.See What You've Done4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What happened to the times when we were once such good friends?
When I could come to you for everything?
You were always there.
You were always with me through everything.
Now it seems we have drifted apart.
We walk by eachother and say our friendly hellos, but it's not like it used to be.
We don't talk to eachother unless we have to.
We don't even make eye contact.
As you turn to walk away I'm almost certain I hear you whisper, "I miss you."
"I miss you too." I say at my normal voice.
You keep walking like you can't hear me.
can you even hear me?
I heard you in a whisper
"But you can't even hear me screaming!" I scream.
I'm standing in a park.
A few heads turn before returning to what they we're doing prior to my outburst.
I turn and run, run to the one place I know is safe.
My home. The hollow walls and empty open space.
the first drawer of the end table
I run and yank it open.
The cold metal that I was aiming for. I pull it out of the drawer an
Smile prettyPretty face, gorgeous smile...Smile pretty4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Warm embrace, laugh for a while.
The fondest kiss on her lover's lips
The sweet scent of roses on her pale fingertips.
A bite on his ear, a kiss on her cheek
She beams with warmth, the best friend you could seek.
Laughter at work, beautiful passion at home...
A hug for each person who feels sad or alone.
And while she holds you so tight and dooms all your frights...
....they'll never know she tries to end her life every night.
75. Broken MirrorI walk around outside75. Broken Mirror4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Looking at the sky
With clouds white as snow
Inhaling the cold air
Feeling the calm breeze
The leaves from the trees are dropping
Soon day will become night
It is autumn
I turn my gaze from the sky to the swans in the lake beside me
I watch them swim around, searching for food
They are soon to be gone
Flying away to the south
Free as they are
Find a warmer place to be
My look turns from the birds to the lake itself
I see how it reflects everything
I walk against the lake
And stop just as I stand on the edge
If I take one more step, I will fall and get soaked
I look down and see myself
Fascinated by, how perfect the clear water renders everything
How it show everything behind my facade hard as stone
But the image is broken when a tear drops and hits the water surface
I quickly blink, and turn around
Begins the lonely walk towards my home
The time I enter the door, I know I am all alone
Nobody but me is home
I close the door and wal
Keep SmilingNo matter what the others saidKeep Smiling4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Just ignore them
Remember you are so pretty
And no one can say that not
Ignore the others
They just want to make you feel bad
Just listen to yourself and no one more
Remember you have your friends and family for support you,
And if you not you have YOURSELF for supporting you
I know that it feels bad looking yourself in the mirror
Thinking that you are so ugly, horrible and that you are not useful in the world
But before you take that gun an put in your head think something,
Do you will help the people that love you making that?
What you will win making that?
No matter what situation is just...
Even if you are dying inside
If you are going to suicide
STOP AND SMILE!! YOU ARE MORE PRETTIER SMILING!
THAT WILL MAKE THE OTHERS SEE HOW PRETTY YOU ARE!
And they are just fuc**** idiots if not
YOU WORTH A LOT NEVER FORGET IT! IGNORE THE OTHERS THAT SAY THAT NOT AND JUST KEEP SMILING, FOR GIVING WHAT THEY DESERVED! SEE YOU SMILING MAKES T
Just Exactly Me.You look at me at last,Just Exactly Me.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And ask "Who are you?"
I will look at you,
And say as I meet your eyes,
"I am exactly who I want to be.
Nothing more, nothing less."
Just in between. Just exactly me.
The look in your eyes
You don't remember me.
I am the author.
I am the artist.
I am dark hair and brown eyes.
I am the anime lover.
I was the shy one.
I was the one hurting and no one saw.
I was the one who played my ace,
I waitied for something.
I was waiting for you;
To see if my gamble paid off,
Or if I had lost this game of mine.
Then I realized I decide!
I decide if I won or lost!
I was the shy one,
I was the one hurting and no one saw.
I was the one who played my ace,
But now, you ask
"Who are you?"
I will tell you.
Looking into those clear blue eyes I once adored,
I will tell you.
Yes, I will tell you.
I am the Dreamer!
I have eyes that look around the world,
The American with Russia on my tongue.
I am the one who moved on!
I am the one who started over!
break down _collab_Oh later, they'll look back and they'll say "This was the moment." Here it is, the evidence outlined- stories told by the rush of blood in veins and the cracks in the bones, the damage life did before it eventually killed, as it always does. But they'll be wrong as they usually are.break down _collab_4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"Darling, didn't you know that life has an expiration date on it?"
It's written right here, in codes that no one can actually read, blood cells and bone cells and growth plates and neuron pathways. See it? Twisted smiles can't fix broken hearts and the explanations they'll hand you later won't hold anything, much less the weight of your grief.
So later, when they look back and say, "This was it, right here."- you must remember that they will be absolutely and unequivocally totally wrong.
see my heart it is cracked crackled crackling crippled crippling not quite criminal (yet) is misery a crime is knowledge a crime well if suicide is a sin then misery must be a crime. and if misery is a crime then humanity i
so they canwristsso they can4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
feeling of i don't
My pen and ICareful thoughts and many wordsMy pen and I3 years ago in Scraps More Like This
my pen and I do weave,
from the shadows, from the depths,
the darkness told to me.
Darkness growing ever closer,
as the time goes by...
I stay awake to keep away
the darkened dreams that rise.
While she sleeps....I can't take the fear...While she sleeps....4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
When shadows smile at me, the wind calls out my name...those ghosts we fight for years flashing trough my eyes...
Trembling hands and hidden scars, as strange warm waves float trough my body.
I shiver, and feel heat, all at once.
Are you there?...I'm frightened. I can't explain it and I don't know why....
I hear you breathing, your lips move...that sweet way the dim lights emphasize your hips, your lovely silhouette...
And I'm still afraid.
It's alright, if you leave me...we all die someday.
It's alright, if the shadows get me, if the voices and the ghosts never let go...
....we all go insane, eventually.
So what am I afraid of?
While I think of everything gone wrong, everything that might, I find myself so deeply frozen in a state where nothing and no one can touch me...and it's fine, beautiful and calm....
You switch your side and I'm still here...wondering.
Perhaps the silence, as I take in every noise you make, every single breath...
In and out, and...
coming home to freedomPaint a butterfly on my back,coming home to freedom4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so that I can fly away,
Paint a flower on my chest,
so that I can believe there would be life,
inside of this heart.
Take my hand, and bring me to the sea,
so that I can feel the endless sky,
Let the sun shine,
'cause I'm too depressed for rain.
Let the music never stop,
so that I can't hear the words of silence,
Say farewell to my face,
so we can be sure, to meet again.
Cry me a river,
so that I can sail to eternity,
Give me one last hug,
so that I can smile like a child.
Say, God doesn't want us to come home
Say, the world said good bye to us
Say, if you're looking at my eyes,
what do you believe is right to do,
if you don't know which way to go.
DepressionI hear youDepression4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Are you laughing
But you don't
all of this.
Why Does it Hurt?Why Does it Hurt?5 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Why does it hurt?
Why does it ache~
Every little move I make?
Is there a reason?
I'm sure there is
It wouldn't just hurt like this ...
So please tell me ...
Please tell me why~
I always feel I need to cry
Though crying doesnt do much at all
It just feels a little better when the tears fall
But y'know ... just crying isn't enough
You need someone there~
When it gets tough
Promise me you'll be there ...
With a prayer
And I promise you
I'll be there too
The Faceless GirlIf you took away the iron shellThe Faceless Girl4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
If You took away the laughter
If you took away these things
She would rebel
Against the charade that was her master.
If you took away the happiness
and the illusion of fake courage
You would begin to see the shyness
And the Faceless Girl would flourish.
You would've seen that
She was not what she seems
The Joyfulness would break away
Revealing all her broken dreams.
You'd see she cried not from her eyes
For she had none
But she cried from her saddened soul
In the light she had begun
But the darkness took its toll.
She was the faceless girl
That no one seems to see
Her silent screams reveal
she wanted to be is free.
She wore a mask of joy
That people seemed to like
But underneath the mask
she cried with every strike
Do you not see how
Your forked tongue slashes
Opening up the scars
Of previously made gashes
Do you not notice
How the faceless girl pretends
she looks like a beautiful Lotus
But her weary life, she ends.
In the dimly lit white room
She used a
Take Care of Me"Take care of me, please," he pleads.Take Care of Me4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"But, oh, love, I am..." she replies. "I give you your food, and your medicine, and I clothe you, clean you--"
"Oh you haven't given me care. Not any care in the world."
"How dare you! I have given my time willingly to be your support!"
"I am not dying from this disease, that's ravaged my body.... I die from a lack of love."
"Nonsense. The inane babble of a sick man. If you were going to die, all the love in the world wouldn't prevent that."
"Oh, but it might; then, it might not. But in the end we all just want to be held." He said.... and so died.
Mistakes.When I lookMistakes.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Upon the pain
Of my past,
I feel so sad
And so guilty
But at the same time
I feel happy.
Because those mistakes
Made me who I am
They let me know the
People I know now.
Showed me what was right
And what was wrong.
My mistakes still haunt me
But if I had the option
To go back
And make them never happen,
Because I am happy
With what I have done.
The good and the bad.
This Little GirlThis little girl goes home to cry,This Little Girl4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
every single night.
This girl wants to die,
and just give up the fight.
This little girl has a name,
but no one wants to hear it.
this girl hides in shame,
because she's the only one to fear it.
this girl has a razor blade arm,
and the bitter taste of death in her heart.
this girl faces judgment's harm
and can't wait for love to re-start.
this girl has black painted eyes,
and porcelain skin.
she has to tell herself lies
or else she'll give in.
this girl is broken hearted so much
the tears wont let her see.
this girl has cried so much
its a shame to know...
...This Little Girl is me
The Real MeCharades was the game we always played.The Real Me4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Except no one was there to ever guess.
No one seemed to care about what I was.
They couldn't see through my disguise at all.
They didn't even try.
I keep it all bottled up.
Everything bottled up inside of me.
No one tries to dig deep enough,
To break the seal on what's hiding the real me.
They all take my answers of "I'm fine",
But I really want someone to say,
"No you're not."
And actually try to find
The real me.
05 January 2012
Dear DaddyDear Daddy,Dear Daddy4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I miss you lots, I know you haven't been gone long, but I still miss you. Are you coming home soon? I kinda want to see you ASAP I had a stressful day at work again and I need a hug you always did give the best hugs, but I don't get them very often anymore. Why is that? I miss them too you and your hugs I want one really badly. Oh well love you, talk to you when you get home, whenever that may be.
With all the love in the universe,
Your little girl.
It's been over 34 hours now, don't you miss me? I miss you lots and lots. When I came home from work today and saw you were still gone, I cried. Little brother held me though, so I guess I'm not so alone But I still miss you. Little brother misses you too. We both want a hug. Love you, talk to you soon.
Are you ever coming home? What's so special about your girlfriend, what does she have that I don't? Am I really that useless? Is she your new lit
Two Tickets For The Apocalypse, Please"Two tickets for the apocalypse, please.Two Tickets For The Apocalypse, Please2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Front row seats, if possible", I said.
The night was still young
and the show hadn't started yet
so the two of us decided
to get some popcorn and soda.
On the way to our seats
we passed crowds of people
panicking at the sight
of their impending doom
right above their heads.
Some of them were turning to god
or at least what they believed it was.
Singing and chanting and praying
for him (or her) to save all of us,
despite the sins we have committed.
There were also those who chose to continue
with their everyday lives,
their daily grind,
to relish in the foolish illusion of safety
it provided for their small minds.
And then a select few,
the ones the others used to call outcasts,
jumped and cheered in joy -
for they knew that when the end was coming
not a single soul would get away.
You and me? I guess we were all of the above
and none at the same time.
We were just here to enjoy the show
and when you dropped your popcorn
I turned to you and said:
RememberingRememberingRemembering2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My brother said he slept with me (unholy congress),
a bramble brier of limbs, cocks and mouths.
They never said, oh so poor sleeping beauty’s wall
was pocked with uncoupled blasphemous poppies.
But I was a strumpet, the number of how many I slept with
could be be found if you tore through a cereal box.
His first wife sang Hail Marys when hearing of my lovers,
labyrinthine mazes of prayers. When my husband danced with me.
the Pavan, Lord Zouch’s Maske. We all wore delicious masks,
fingers touching then other things touched, fevered, liquid.
But that was a long, long time, things are clove breaths,
they are endlessly muttered prayers, they are my brother standing.
The blade is waiting for both of us (but he is innocent).
I am not but I was not taught to be innocent.
So I remember a mouth singing unholy psalms into my mouth.
The bright side of day.Stop being so sadThe bright side of day.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the sun will always shine
even on a cloudy day
you can't change the past
but you can change the presant
the sun will come out soon
no matter how much
darkness fills your life
so what if your alone
there's always a new day
just waiting to see you
make a change
and see the light
open your mind and imagine
the good things that will be
just in your arms reach.
Don't Leave meDon't leave me . . .Don't Leave me4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know who you are,
But I know what you did.
You left me, a baby.
Don't leave me . . .
How do you sleep?
Knowing I'm out in the world?
That I could've been calling you daddy?
Don't leave me . . .
Does your wife know about me?
Did you ever think to tell her?
That you had a daughter out of state?
Don't leave me . . .
But you already did.
I've Built This WallI'm cryingI've Built This Wall4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but there are no tears.
but there is no sound.
I'm breaking down
but no one can see.
I've built this wall around me;
it's ten feet tall.
No one will ever know
that the raging emotions
tear me apart.
No one will ever see
the many scars
hidden all over my body.
No one will ever see
the real me.