it's only as bad as you say.my heart beat still skips like stones. and i can almost see the breaks in the surface from where all these misconstrued feelings ripple out and dissipate. like drops of water on my window pane, bleeding together and streaming away. like dust in our airways, inhaled, exhaled and slowing settling until my whole world is covered with a thick layer of grime and i'm left wondering if this is what love is supposed to feel like.it's only as bad as you say.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
it is, right?
because otherwise, i'm shy of the mark and even shyer of finding something new to waste my time on since these lipsthey don't move as much as they should because i tend to let my heart do all the talking so that every mistake i make reverberates and quakes and these four walls i've built around me tumble down until there's nothing but debris. i'm left to clean up the mess. refortifying my bad decisions with better intentions that are still not quite as high as they used to be.
but maybe a lower wall will let the right things in.
the chances though
Frerard :: Breakeven'Im still alive but Im barely breathingFrerard :: Breakeven5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Just prayed to a God that I dont believe in
Cause I got time while he got freedom
Cause when a heart breaks, no it dont breakeven'
I lay on my bunk in the tour bus feeling the sorrow that was creating so much pain. The sheets underneath me felt cold and new. I didnt normally sleep here, but I had to because it was too hard to think about why. I was alive barely; my breathing was slowed and shortened by my aching chest. I almost wished that my breathing would stop all together; then I would no longer be alive I would be free of this pain. Swear words and prayers rolled of my tongue as silent tears slid down my face. I dont believe in God or anything about religions, but as I uttered those prayers I kind of hoped he was real. I cant believe that while Im in here spending my time crying and in pain, hes out there getting a taste of freedom, not a tear was shed
The Angry TruthYou seem like a very angry child, they said to me. I laughed. I laughed in order to hide the painful truth of it.The Angry Truth5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
You seem like a very angry child, they said to me. I gave them a look. A look that said, I dont know what youre talking about; Ive never been happier. And that was the truth.
You seem like a very angry child, they said to me. And I denied it. Because isnt that the second stepor first step or something? Denial? Because theyll always deny the truth.
You seem like a very angry child. Thats what they told me, but they dont understand. They didnt understand then and I don't think they'll ever understand. Because the truth doesnt seem to be an understandable concept.
You seem like a very angry child. Thats what they always tell me, but how do I know that theyre not angry and theyre not just trying to hide it? Maybe they merely try t
Angry But why?Angry8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The angry girl never had any reason
to squeeze the t
s from her eyes and
scream until she felt her throat would tear
other than that
she felt like it.
So she did it anyway.
And didn't try to make sense of it.
Not so the angry woman.
drag along her teeth
and scrape the surface of her brain
but instead of screaming and crying
now she says
There's no reason for it…
But that doesn't mean
AngryIt made me so angry,Angry5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When you said that,
The way that you did
I felt bile rise in my throat,
My heart was torn,
The moment you lied to me.
I want to go back,
To the happier times,
And forget the pain.
You can't change the truth,
You know the one,
That isn't supposed to hurt.
I am not sure why,
But every time you talk,
I feel like you're accusing me.
What did I do?
I wish someone would tell me,
So I could make it better.
I want someone to hold me,
Tell me it will all be alright,
Even if I know it won't.
In the end I do it myself,
Have to pick myself up,
And turn away from all this.
TreesTrees3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The secret life
of elm and oak
and thin white poplars -
on a winter night,
grazing the moon
like tapers in December.
I smell earth -
peat and cedar
and the indulgent bulge
crafting the air
like a smith
lost in his work.
Chestnuts bear an offering
and the yearning pall
of pine scents the sky
till it's thick with resin.
And they gather
with boughs and limbs
bent like priests at play,
roots tight as ancient drums
to ruminate on stories,
sinewed in fragrant bark
making merry where
the green bends back
march 24th, 2008.there is a chinese proverb that says your teeth will fall out if you tell lies.march 24th, 2008.4 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
i used to always dream my teeth would crumble from my mouth and lay glittering on the street like coins. i used to dream that the slightest touch jarred them loose, knocked them from my jaw leaving only swells of broken tissue behind. i used to dream of rivulets of blood streaming from the corners of my mouth, of thirty two pieces of myself lying naked on the ground, thirty two tooth fairies that would never come. i used to dream of screaming.
"you know," said my psychology TA, "to dream of losing one's teeth is very common. it typically means that you're concerned about your physical appearance. it's a dream that is prevalent among many young women."
i used to dream my mom would try to kill me. i used to dream she'd push me down flights of stairs or hold a gun to my temple or run a razor lovingly along my throat. i used to dream she'd watch me drown and smile, that she would set my room on fire, would lock
the perfect strangershe misses colin the most at night, when, waking from nightmares, her hand reaches out into the darkness for someone who is no longer there.the perfect stranger3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
an unexpected message flares briefly on her screen, long enough for her heart to drop into her stomach in surpriseher ex-boyfriend's little sister's ex-boyfriend? sighing, she types a hello and strains her memory to recall what she knows of this boy from their one brief meeting. his name is aaron. tall. shaggy bed-head hair. sleepy hazel eyes. she lightly touches the keyboard, entertaining the notion that other people might feel as lonely at night as she does.
"tell me a secret," she types to him.
"why should I put my trust in you?" he asks, surprised.
"who better to trust than a stranger?"
so he does.
a five minute secret turns into an hour long story, then a night-long conversation.
the next morning, after telling this boy how colin broke her, she wakes to a message in her inbox:
The world is yours.
Boys are stupid.
encephalitis.she asks, "is it weird to have one day where you really intensely, for no good reason, think of a dead person?"encephalitis.4 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
the intercom was the one to announce that his body had finally given up. i don't remember what i was wearing that day, or how my hair looked, or what noises fell out of my mouth. death has dulled the sharp edges within me. this is what i do know: some people burst into tears and some people sat frozen and pale and some people simply got up and left the room.
"are you okay?" someone asked me, and i found that i was lying on the floor, though i couldn't understand how i'd gotten there. the overhead lights were buzzing and humming, or maybe it was just my heart. confused, i sat up quickly and let the blood rush to my head in one glorious fell swoop.
"are you okay?" they asked again, and i said yes, yes, i am okay. i am alive. i have to be okay. the linoleum is still cold against my cheek and i can still see i am alive i am okay i am okay i am okay.
but sometimes i wish i had t
(A)Musing - Part OneIt took ten minutes for Lawrence Bradley to realize he was still on the same paragraph, reading without actually reading. He blinked at the page rather dully before opening the bedside table drawer and fishing out a bookmark. The story would not progess tonight, not as long as these thoughts weighted heavily on his mind. He folded up his wire glasses and laid them on top of the book. Sighing, he slouched his way into a more horizontal position.(A)Musing - Part One3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
It would have been a lie to claim he wasn't attracted to her. And Lawrence Bradley was, among other things, a honest man. He was attracted, but he didn't know why.
She was quite sweet, but no more so to him than she was to everyone. Intelligent, yes, but weren't most of his students? They managed a passable enough imitation of intelligence anyway, at least when they showed up for class. She wasn't pretty - and that wasn't a harsh judgement on his part. Autumn Fanshaw was as plain Jane as they made them and he'd taught his share of
StrikingIt was warm.Striking2 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Not hot like she had been expecting a soft, gentle warmth that saturated her every extremity down to her fingertips. Like stoking the fire of a small heater, one bundle of sticks at a time. She was nestled snugly under the pale blue sheets watching sleepily as the man beside her dozed on. His grey hair looked more frazzled than normal and it was strange to her to see him so relaxed. The sharp intelligence in his blue eyes had always been striking and they were now closed to her.
Dinner conversation had been polite, ranging all over from Shakespeare to the latest blockbuster film; the two were completely absorbed in their own world for the night while the din of the crowd rose and fell around them.
She stretched her neck and shoulder blades with a soft groan, sparing a brief glance at his watch lying askew on the nearby intable. Nearly 2:15 in the afternoon. She returned her arm back to her side and burrowed back into the blankets with a puff of a sigh.
A Dream in the DesertThey had lost everything in the fire.A Dream in the Desert3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The wreckage lay behind them, sending off the occasional flare of smoke and light whenever the fire stumbled across another canister of fuel. As soon as they'd crawled to safety, Aidan had remarked that, at the very least, they still had their lives.
"Will that be enough?" Finn muttered to himself now, dragging his eyes away from the crumpled remains of their ship. For a second, he let his eyes skim near the sun. It sagged above their heads, groaning as it struggled to pull its heavy, swollen mass toward the horizon. Here, below, the planet could do little but succumb to its lightwhite and scathing, like holy fire.
In front of him, Aidan stumbled through the sand, struggling to navigate the slope of the dune as he patched the worst of the holes in his biosuit. Finn hurriedly did the same, peeling off the hood of his suit and trying not to wince as the rubbery material pulled on his skin. With aching slowness, he tore it into thin strips and t
Facets1. He pulled a thick novel out and balanced it on his palm before fishing a pair of reading glasses from the mess on his desk. The surprise must have shown on her face, for he directed a quip at her.Facets3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
2. She yanked the controller out of his hands before he could lost a third consecutive boss battle and promptly died before being sent back to the loading screen.
3. She pulled out several CD's from the shelf.
"I didn't know many people in my age bracket enjoyed Celtic music so much."
4. They had planned to have a few rounds at the bowling alley to alleviate the boredom of small town life, but found their plans thwarted upon seeing the sheer number of people inside. It was just their luck that they chose the one weekend when a tournament was being held.
5. She made a sharp turn into an abandoned parking lot and slammed the brakes. "Give me thaaat!" and snatched the GPS from his hands, studying the digital map.
"Idiot. You've still got us set in the same town w
I'll Cover You 1/4KURT:I'll Cover You 1/42 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Kurt was lying on his bed, still in his school clothes listening to Wicked on his iPod. He was so engulfed in Defying Gravity that he barely noticed his phone vibrating next to him. Reluctantly he picked it up find a new text message from Blaine. Kurt smiled; he hadn't talked to his boyfriend in what… a day? Kurt had been busy helping Carole take care of his dad and Finn. There was a flu epidemic going around the town. Unfortunately, both of them had gotten it.
Hi sweetie pie. ~Blaine
Blaine's sweet pet names always brought a smile to Kurt's face.
Hi Blainey, what's up? ~Kurt
He put his phone down and barely got half way through a song before Blaine texted back.
Nm, just sitting in my dorm. Jeff went out for dinner a while ago and he hasn't come back yet. We had Warblers practice before… other than that not much. ~Blaine
That’s…strange. Blaine loved eating; he basically lived in the dinning pavilion. It distraught Kurt that Blaine would skip out on goin
Klaine: Baby MineBlaine Anderson-Hummel thought it was absolutely normal for him to freak out when the daycare he took his son to called him, saying that his 4-year-old child had gotten in a fight with some of the other children.Klaine: Baby Mine4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
What he thought wasn't normal was that his had been the only kid to get in trouble for that.
"My son wasn't the one to start the fight, he was only defending himself and his family from the poison of other children!" he told the teacher, Ms. Ursula, while his little boy sat in a chair nearly pasted to the wall, staring at the two adults arguing in front of him.
Little Chris had Blaine's dark curls and his husband's glasz eyes, which were still a mystery to both of his parents. He was currently holding his favorite Harry Potter handmade doll against his chest with his two arms, biting his lip not to cry. How could he get in trouble at his daycare? He loved to be there and he was a good kid! Good kids didn't get in trouble!
"While it's true that Chris didn't
Beautiful DayThere are some days that are inherently beautiful.Beautiful Day2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Hot green-yellow days in August-- or July, but never June-- where everything seems still, like you're the only person in the world, because all the normal people are inside with their air conditioners, and all the birds are resting, and you lie down on the grass and it feels like it's just you and the great growing plant world that surrounds you, and it's utterly still, the only moving air caused by your breath, and for a minute you know what peace is. And then the air stirs, and you hear a lawn mower in the distance and smell the fresh-cut grass, and some laughter or shouts in the distance because some kids are playing something, but it's still quiet in your empty space of green, even when a car goes by, even when suddenly a pair of twittering birds flies overhead, two dark spots against the blue bit of sky overhead.
Days in the winter when the clouds are thick and heavy, like a flannel sweater over the world, and they're shaking down
Digitigrade IIThe human foot contains twenty-six bonesDigitigrade II3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
for running and dancing and spinning
pirouettes in neat circles,
balanced on one foot before two,
starved for attention with every broken
"Ballet is more than dancing,
Grace," the en pointe trainer balanced
on one foot and named every bone
supporting her weight.
Grace spins one
circle on the hardwood floor:
her eyes land on the barre mirror.
She doesn't see the atrophied bone
ribs through pink gauze,
but only imagines herself as beautiful.
Weeks of anorexic binging display the remains
of weak structure.
One more skin-and-bone
cygnet remained an ugly duckling
as the starved light of dawn danced across the sky
on bleach bone toes.
The empty theater seats fill up
while en pointe sylphs
count their ribs backstage
at the memorial performance
where grace fluttered,
I Just Want To Hear You Laugh 2Kurt's heart was pounding in his ears. He could hear the hum of chatter coming from the other side of the rustic-orange silk sheet hanging from a row of low tree branches in central park. He was also mildly aware of the large crowd of people being held back by a line of security guards, but he assumed that was only natural since he had insisted on having his wedding in a public place.I Just Want To Hear You Laugh 22 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Hey, Kiddo, how you hanging up?" Kurt turned to face his father. It calmed him slightly to have him there, though his hands still shook and his palms were sweaty.
"Dad, I'm nervous."
Burt stepped closer and pulled Kurt into a tight hug, "I know, I know. Everyone is on their big day. Heck, when I was waiting up there for your mom " His dad sighed. "I'm sure Blaine is just as nervous."
Kurt nodded, but felt himself unable to reply. He glanced down at himself again, inspecting his light grey suit and its dark grey swirling design. He wore a simple gold tie and in his suit pocket was a rustic orange sat
The Visitor - Part 1It was twenty-eight minutes past seven, on the sixth day of October, and London was being rained on. Rain is not something that happens in London or over London or even around London. It happens to London, in the same way that chicken-pox happens to five-year-olds.The Visitor - Part 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
London with rain happening to it is a very different place to London with nice-weather-for-this-time-of-year. It's grumpier. People talk less, and they hurry everywhere, holding up briefcases and newspapers like offerings to the gods. Women in high heels perform that peculiar toes-only not-quite-running that is unique to the breed. And anyone arriving in a safe, dry haven, will say to the first human being they encounter, "It's absolutely tipping it down out there!"
On that morning (the sixth of October, seven twenty-eight) Doctor Rosemary Fortune was not performing the toes-only run, the newspaper-over-head jog, or any other undignified movement. She had come equipped with a very la
Anything for Your Smile p7After Brittany and Santana were done with their secret song, Artie decided that it was his turn.Anything for Your Smile p74 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He chose the song "Dancing Through Life" from the musical Wicked. He and Rachel did the small dialogue that was sprinkled throughout, and he did some of his signature wheelchair dance moves.
With two presentations in one go, Schuester decided that the club was over for the day.
Everyone got out of their chairs to swarm together and talk.
"I thought that you girls had it a little easier to do this than I did," Artie confessed to the group, mainly to Britt and Santana, "I mean, you're able to do whatever, but I really want to be able to dance and walk again."
Blaine was on it, a warm, nearly apologetic smile on his face. "Artie, I'm sure that you'll be able to anything in the future, the way that medical science and technology works today."
Kurt chimed in, " Not to mention the research that's going into paralysis and limb replacements, ya know?" He tried a smile to match the warmth rad
Anything For Your Smile pt4After an awkwardly silent dinner, Blaine decided it was time to go, and bid the Hummels a fond farewell.Anything For Your Smile pt44 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Kurt and his father waved to Blaine as he started walking, and Burt closed the door.
"So," he started, "how did you and Dalton-boy Blaine meet exactly?" Burt was somewhat smiling, looking a bit stressed or tired, Kurt couldn't tell.
"Well," Kurt sighed, "Puckerman made fun of me a few weeks ago when we were trying to decide on outfits for our last mash-up assignment for glee club, I suggested more feminine outfits to go with the songs-" Burt raised an eyebrow, "-the assignment was boys do girl songs, and vise versa."
"Oh." Kurt's father had to think for a minute. "Go on?"
"Well, when I suggested feather boas--the scarves with feathers on them, Dad--Puck said I should go to the Academy and spy because I could wear all the feathers I wanted and blend right in."
Burt was shocked at the words coming out of his son's mouth. "Well, did you stick up for yourself?"
"No," Kurt grimaced, "I i
The CrissColfer thingPrologueThe CrissColfer thing3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was Sunday morning. Chris and Darren were lying in Chris' bed thinking about what they'd just done. Both of them couldn't believe what happend last night. It was pretty awesome for both though.
"So does that mean we're a couple now?", Chris asked, turning around to face Darren.
"Um. I guess so But it's still a bit strange, don't ya think?"
"Yeah..", Chris breathed out and looked out of the window.
It was 7 am but they didn't really realized that, because they were just staring at each other. Silence. No one wanted to talk, because they thought it would make everything more awkward.
"So, um. Are you hungry?" Darren just looked at Chris and chuckled at the thought how Chris' must feel at this moment.
"Sure", Darren said, standing up grabbing his shirt and pants.
"What are you doing?", Chris asked in confusion.
"Oh, do you want me to eat in my underwear?", Darren teased Chris and laughed.
"No. I-I was just wondering."
Both of them walked down to the kitchen. Darren just s
Our Little Girl (Klaine Prompt)"Dance party! Dance party!" A tiny voice shouted in glee. A brunette girl ran around the spacey living room, bouncing eagerly in front of the television. "Papa! Dance party!" She stopped her bouncing, looking to the messy haired, obviously tired man watching her fondly.Our Little Girl (Klaine Prompt)2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Elizabeth, we just had one," he laughed.
"Oh, come on, Papa. have another dance party with her," an amused voice called from the kitchen area.
"I'd like to see you have three consecutive dance parties with out little firecracker." he challenged, rising from his place on the couch and gathering Elizabeth in his arms. He tossed her into the air, issuing a squeal of delight from the small girl. He caught her as she came back down, kissing her forehead and watching her blue eyes swim with joy.
"Just one more dance party, Blaine." A head popped around the corner with perfectly coiffed hair, sea foam eyes, and a pouted lip.
"As you wish, King Kurt," Blaine gave an exaggerated bow, placing Elizabeth back on the ground, "it's