Twilight+Maximum Ride funnyTwilight/Max RideTwilight+Maximum Ride funny6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Max and Fang are at the park.
Max: I love you fang.
Fang: well duh! You love me thiiiiiiiiissssssssss much!!!!
Max: (thinking) going to kill you going to kill you.
Bella: do Dee Dum eddie-poo?!!?!?!? Are you here?
Edward: belly-poo where are you?????
Fang and max: eddie-poo? Belly-poo? What kind of world have we come into?????
Bella: oh, eddie-poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OME!! I missed you!!!
Edward: I missed you too, belly-poo!!
Max: Were not gonna end up like that.
Fang: no. Were not. But lets try it once, for good measure.
Max: okay fangy-poo!!!!
Fang: okay Maxi-poo!!!!!
Max: well the flock must miss us, fangy-poo. Wed better get going.
Bella: no! Come with us!!! We have cookies!!!
Max: but I dont want cookies! I wantz a muffin.
Fang: yeah!!!! Muffins are better then your stupid cookies!!
Bella: Well Angel, Gazzy, Iggy and Nudge are already at our house eating homemade Choco chip cookies.
(Max starts drooling)
The first day they met part 3"Umm... M-my name i-is Mog-gin could you h-help me get untangled?" Mogin finally sputtered. She was deathly afraid of this odd looking figure above her, but she very well couldn't just ignore him since she was tangled. Though, he didn't seem to take notice to her plea for help. Worry steadily growing inside of her, she noticed he seemed to be staring down at her feet. She looked down and tried lifting them to see them better. They lifted a little, but quickly stopped as a part of the ribbon became taunt. From what she could see, there was nothing wrong with them at all. She wiggled her toes a little and tried again.The first day they met part 34 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"H-hello? My name is " she stopped herself as suddenly the figure slowly knelt down at her feet and started reaching out a hand for them. That's when she noticed the man was only a boy of her age, and relaxed some. In relief she stretched some, wiggling her toes a little more with trying to get comfortable. Though for some reason he didn't start untangling her, b
DO's and DON'Ts of OCsDOs and DONTs of Creating OCs.DO's and DON'Ts of OCs6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
I'm not a brilliant or fantasmically talented writer, but I know a decent OC when I see one. Or at least a non-crappy one.
I think we know how this works. Here we go
1. DO Try to vary your OCs personalities. In the real world, if everyone had the same awesome, flawless character, life would be mind-numbingly BORING. Also, not everyone is nice/horrible/depressed/energetic all the time. (Unless, of course, you want to use that as a flaw.)
2. DONT get too hung up on making profiles for your characters. Profiles are for procrastinators who want to make a fantastic character without getting started on the actual story. I was guilty of it too, before I realised how boring filling out the same form over and over again was.
Try describing them in the story, THEN make notes to help you remember stupid boring details like their star-sign and eye colour so you dont accidentally change them halfway through the st
Catching Art Theives Guide 2Catching Art TheivesCatching Art Theives Guide 23 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Guide 2 of ? Talking To Them
Hey! Invader-Roxas here! I'm here to give you another part of my part-by-part packaged guide on how to catch Art Thieves. I know lots of Deviants out there dedicate some of their own Deviant careers to stop the madness, and were all doing what we possibly can! But, here is a guide to help you with some new tactics, and other things you may need help with! Enjoy!
Part 1: How To Talk To Art Thieves
Ok, now I know a lot of people talk to the art thieves to let them know that their "Art" is stolen, and needs to be taken off Deviant ART. But lots of times, I've seen the wrong example of talking to them. I'll get to that later, but now let's focase on HOW to talk to them.
Here are some common conversations you may have with an Art Thief; I'll show what they say, and wha
Hey Delilah - Stalker Remix -Hey There DelilahHey Delilah - Stalker Remix -6 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
What's it like in New York City?
you've got a restraining order on me
It makes me feel quite shitty,
Yes it do...
No one can do that 'cept for you,
You know it's true.
Hey There Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance,
I have got a long-range camera
And it really makes the difference,
Close your eyes...
Turn on the lights now, look, SURPRISE...
I'm by your side!
*Hoe, it's what you do to me
You hoe, I've got an STD,
Hoe, it's what you do to me
You hoe, I've got an STD,
I've got an STD
Hey There Delilah
I know times are gettin' hard,
I'll beat up all of your new boyfriends,
Smash their heads with this guitar...
We'll have it good...
I'll have you like I knew I would,
My aim is good...
Hey There Delilah
I've got so much left to say!
Why are you looking so damn frightened?
Why are you making haste away?
You'll make me cry...
You'd have me committing suicide,
That's on your life.
A thousand miles seem pretty far,
But I've got spies in planes and cars
I'd follow you i
Super Parent My daddy is stupid. That's what mommy says. He would work all day and when he came home, he watched TV with me for one show, then went to bed. On days off, he either worked on his computer or on his car. I tried to help, but that ended quick when I spilled coffee on his pants and accidentally dropped a wrench on his foot. I only wanted to be with him more.Super Parent5 years ago in Children and Teen More Like This
One day I even got up real early to see him before he left for work. He read the newspaper while I told him about a gamma ray burst that I learned from the science channel.
When I said, "It looks like there is two suns in the sky."
He said, "That's a shame," and flipped a page in the paper.
After he drank his coffee and told me to get his
Broken Wings p3Broken Wings p38 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Hope's head shot up, her ears pricked forward. "What?!"
"Did I stutter?" Clayton chuckled. "Come on, kid, we're moving out. It's too dangerous to be here anymore."
It had been a week since the encounter with Kari and Jack, and the black-with-flames wolf had become more and more jittery each day. He sensed something, Hope could tell. But what? What could make a powerful brute such as him afraid? The only thing Hope could think of was the mysterious 'Agency' he had mentioned earlier. And if the Agency was big and powerful enough to scare Clay, Hope could only imagine what they could do to her.
Her wounds weren't fully healed, and there were scars all over her body. Scars that would never leave her, ever. Scars on her heart. Those seemed to be more then the scars on the outside of her, a lot more. She groaned as she limped beside Clayton, who had slowed his pace for her. Still, he took long strides, and for every step that he took, Hope took four.
Clay looked over at her, c
The ExcusesTop Excuses I Hear from Thieves and Rule BreakersThe Excuses3 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
1.EVERY1 DOSE IT!!!!!111!!!
This one is never well written... Just because other people do it doesn't make it okay. If it's against the rules I will report it. I don't care who you are or who else is doing it. If you give me examples I'll report them to. After all, if crazy people started shooting other people in the face would you start doing it too? Apparently koaumae5918 has seen "Well everyone steals! We're stealing the alphabet!" I've seen this one as well...No. No it doesn't work that way stupid.
2. UR STOOPID. UR A TROLL.
This one isn't an excuse, but I hear it a lot. It's never well written either... Me or anyone else reporting you doesn't make us trolls. We aren't harassing you. We're trying to show you what you've done wrong so you don't get banned, suspended, or reprimanded.
3. You aren't a mod! You can't report me!
DA relies on members to re
Long. Distance. Romance.The distance may be great.Long. Distance. Romance.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And all we have is the phone.
We may stay up extremely late,
But we know our fate is full known.
Because I love you and you love me.
I know we'll be together again soon.
Being with you is all I think about, baby.
And fate still rings that beautiful tune.
I get butterflies in my stomach,
Just at the mere thought of you.
You know, you left me awestruck?
But texting or talking will have to make-do.
And I'll also keep dreaming of us,
Until we can see each other again.
I'll always love you forever, I promise.
Distance may be great, but it can't win.
The first day they met part 1It was a beautiful day, and Mogin was going to go on her regular walk to the woods to see what she could catch this time. Mogin was a beautiful and fluffy Nekomimi, with a poofy white tail, long white ears, and long flowing blond hair. She was also still very young, nine years old even. Even with her being a child still, she was very well kept like all the older Nekomimis were. Her mother made sure of this, and taught Mogin everything she knew about staying beautiful. Even with all of this teaching though, and being told not to go out 'hunting' in the woods as it'd get her dirty, she did so anyways every day because she enjoyed it most of all even if she never caught anything.The first day they met part 14 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Today she wore her favorite buttoned shirt that came down to about her knees. It was a shirt that her grandmother gave to her when she was first born. When she finally fit into that shirt, she'd be allowed to marry whoever she wanted and start her own family. She loved the thought of being a
Funny PoemRoses are redFunny Poem6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you
but the roses
the sugar bowls
and so is
A Fiddler's Apocalypse"Jeremy! Jeremy, aagh, don't lead them toward me!"A Fiddler's Apocalypse4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Sorry, sorry!" Jeremy yelled back, panting as he tried to focus on playing his fiddle and running backwards, away from the zombies who had begun to notice his music, at the same time.
"Ha! If you can't handle them, comrade, send them over here!" Alik cackled happily, aiming a tiny gun at a group of zombies who had begun to stagger towards Roy and blowing them all sky high with a single shot.
"Alik, stop being such a creep when we're trying to concentrate on not dying!" A new voice, this one feminine, shouted from behind Jeremy. A gunshot cracked from where the voice had originated from, and a zombie that had stumbled too close for Jeremy's comfort went down with a bullet to the head.
Jeremy looked around him and lowered his bow, wincing a little as his aching fingers uncurled from the strings. A slight, dark haired girl came up next to him, holding a still- smoking rifle in her hands and checking around them for any more zombie
You Make Me CryI'm a girl.You Make Me Cry4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Tears are built into me.
I can whip it out at will.
And drive you crazy.
But I never thought that this could happen.
With you, I don't even have to try.
Maybe it's the music of the sound of your voice.
Maybe it's the joy of knowing you're alive.
Maybe I'm clueless.
Nevertheless, you're so oblivious to the fact that you make me cry.
I should pat myself on the back, and take a bow.
Cause I did all I could in every way I knew how.
But, they were right when they said ignorance bliss.
Cause I never knew a broken heart could feel like this.
Then there's the music of the sound of your voice.
Then there's the joy of knowing you're alive.
Baby I'm clueless.
Nevertheless, you're so clueless to the fact that you make me cry.
Oh sometimes courage is frightening.
When revelations hit like lightning.
But for now, let me just stand here in time.
And think about all the reasons why you make me cry.
Oh maybe it's the music of the sound of your voice.
Maybe it's the joy of knowing you're ali
I was aloneI was alone,I was alone8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with my hands to my face...
catching the tears that poured from my eyes....
down my arms and onto my clothes below,
i had no one,
no one to help me,
to make me feel better, to give me hope,
but no one was there....
no one came...
no one stoppped...
they all left me...alone on those stairs,
to cry and watch my attempts of suicide go by in my head
and continue to manifest in my mind, the cruelities of the life that awaited me.
I continued to cry....
into the darkness that was in front of me,
my eyes, blocked themselves,
everything...but the sadness that engulfed my heart
and tore it...
out of my chest.
The broken feelings i felt,
could not go unscarred...
they would rest with me,
on that day, this already satisfied corpse,
would ravage her soul and let it loose,
to wander the earth and mourn,
for the eternity ahead.
I was scarred,
i was alone...
for that time, and the time before th
I Know, You Know -CHAP.7--DN-I Know, You Know -CHAP.7--DN-3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The following few weeks sucked. I mean really sucked. We arranged interviews with as many of Carter's ex-girlfriends as we could sniff out. Melissa Burnham was happy to help out with names but it was obvious she was disappointed that no progress had been made since I'd last seen her. That didn't help me feel any better.
We didn't learn anything from the exes. We recorded all of the interviews and passed the videos onto L, but he concluded the same. We still scheduled periodic meetings after each new interview. The uncomfortable atmosphere in my office never got any easier. Every meeting would end up in awkward silence, at which point L would then leave and the rest of us would breathe a sigh of relief.
The police officers involved and I were all in unsaid agreement that L was truly unusual. Nobody had said anything outright insulting about him though I'd certainly dropped a few bold comments but there were always a lot of knowing glances exchanged when L was aroun
My MuseMy muse decided to kidnap me today.My Muse5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
He stole me away and made me his slave.
At the computer, I type faster and faster,
Half-expecting my words to become a disaster.
But my muse sits beside me and whispers so clear
Every syllable which he desires to appear.
His ethereal form leaves no way to be heard,
Save my lacking translations, word for word.
He disappears often, flighty at best,
Giving me ample time to rest.
But his lengthy outings leave much to be desired
As I wait and I wait to once more be inspired.
Involuntary servitude becomes apparent
As I stare out the window, completely transparent.
He said hed be back a mere two days ago...
But when it comes to my muse, you cant really know.
When he returns, I am defiantly abstinent,
Until he mentions fresh ideas he found in my absence.
Hypnotized by the promise of new notes to sing,
I fall hook, line, and sinker for the same old thing.
A Guide to OCTsOriginal Character Tournaments are all over deviantart and keep growing in popularity, but not everyone knows what they are or how to participate in them. Since they're hosted by individuals and not actually affiliated with the website itself, there are no guides available to help explain how they work. Hopefully, this FAQ will be helpful to anyone looking to get involved in OCTs.A Guide to OCTs5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
What is an OCT?
OCTs, or "Original Character Tournaments" are contests held here on deviantart in which you can pit your original characters against other people's characters in a comic-style battle-royale. To put it simply, it's a cross between an art competition and a storytelling contest.
OCTs can be hosted on someone's account, or they can have a tournament account of their own. OCTs are usually open to anyone with a deviantart account, although some are invite only. Information about who is eligible to audition will usually be clearly stated s
America x Blind!Reader .:Eyes Closed:. Part 4America x Blind!Reader .:Eyes Closed:. Part 42 years ago in Romance More Like This
Your mom tied the string to your black-and-white bikini firmly, making you wobble a bit.
"Are you sure you want to go, ______?" She asked a little nervously.
"Yeah mom, (bf/n) is going to. She'll help out." You let out a small 'hmph'. Your mom was always overprotective whenever you left the house to a place other than school.
"Alright, have fun. Stay out of any pools or waterslides with a deep one at the end." She kissed the top of you head and you heard her footsteps recede down the hall.
Feeling around your bed for your cover, you pulled it over your head and extended your arm out to the wall to leave your room. Unfortunately your pride got the best of you in these types of situations.
You refused to get a seeing cane. It would be humiliating, and from the description and feel of them you thought they wouldn't help much more than your arm.
Also, you had been offered to go to a school especially for kids with physical disabilities that was in your area. It sounded great at first, but
Funny SayingsAny law enacted with more than fifty words contains at least one loopholeFunny Sayings8 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Evil is live spelled backwards
God must love stupid people, he made so many of them
When all else fails, read the instuctions
"Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "Pull"
What some people lack in intelligence, they make up in stupidity
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head
The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train
A watched pot never boils, unless you light the gas under it
If your parents don't have kids, odds are you won't either
Curiosity kills more mice than cats
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
On the other hand, you have different fingers
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?...Raise my hand
OK...so what's the speed of dark?
When everything is coming y
I love youI love you8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To me you are perfect in every way. I care about you more than words could ever say.
I can't imagine my life without you. And I hope I never have to. When you hold me close
I never want to let go. I love you more than you could ever know. The words you say
mean so much. I feel weak at the knees with every touch and after every kiss. You
seem to leave me completly breathless. When ever I'm with you there's a smile on
my face. And everything else just seems to fall into place. I could stare into your
eyes for hours. when I see you smile I just want to melt. It's like something I've
never felt. You've made me realize how wonderful life can be. Just by caring
about me. Words could never explain how I feel. Nothing has ever felt this real.
Everyday less tears fall from my eyes. Because this is something I can longer
deny. I never thought anyone could make me feel this way. I love you more
every single day.
Bathroom Doors - Chapter 27On Monday morning I didn't want to go to school. I knew that Derek would be there and so would the people who were watching us through the window and not doing anything.Bathroom Doors - Chapter 273 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
When my parents came home on Saturday night they didn't suspect that anything had happened and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew that my Dad would think that it was somehow my entire fault.
On Sunday I spent the entire day in my room. I changed the sheets on my bed and even flipped the mattress so it would be easier for me to stay in there after what had happened. I didn't talk to anyone either, I just wasn't in the mood. Oliver came over once but I told my parents I was sick and didn't want to see anyone.
But now on Monday morning as I got ready for school, I was more angry than upset. I was angry that I was put in that situation, I was angry with Derek and I was angry with the people who saw and did nothing.
I looked in my closet at all of my clothes that I had been wearing for the past few weeks. It had only just
Bathroom Doors - Chapter 21"And then they both got suspended. It was probably the highlight of my whole highschool life." I said to Matt through the house phone. It's Saturday night and as per normal I have nothing to do.Bathroom Doors - Chapter 214 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"I'm proud of you. They all got what they deserve." He said quickly. He seemed distracted.
"Are you ok? You don't really seem like you want to talk." I said.
"I'm fine. I'm just...with Damien." He said.
"Oh...OH!" I emphasised on the second 'oh' when I realised what was going on.
"I didn't know you two were back together...or whatever it is you two are." I said.
"Yeah, well we are. I'm gunna have to call you back. Ok, bye." I said and then the line went dead.
I looked at the blank screen on my phone and then threw it on my bed. I couldn't help but feel kind of jealous. I mean, I'm happy for Matt and Damien, but I just wish I had something like that, someone to hang out with on a saturday night.
"Summer!" I heard my Dad calling from downstairs.
Great, what am I in trouble for now? I walked out o